Total Drama Alpha Party
by Asujoll
Summary: Chris is back, with former contestant Lindsay to keep him in line. Join our twenty-six new contestants as they compete with each other for a million dollars on Neo Wawanakwa. Friendships will be formed, rivalries will arise, and maybe even a romance or two will blossom in this season where nothing is guaranteed. Sequel to House Party and as such makes references to it.
1. Ep 01 P1: This Spells Trouble

_A/N:_ _Well would you look at that? A new season already! This season's got 26 contestants in it, which is even more than last season's! Hopefully they make good first impressions on you._

* * *

The setting is an island which seems divided into two halves: one half a thick forest, the other, a summer camp. There is also a noticeable tall cliff off to the side, and a wooden dock in front.

Standing on said dock is a man in his thirties with mid-length black hair and a pearly white smile.

"Welcome to our next exciting season of Total Drama!" the man greeted. "I, as you likely already know, am Chris McLean, back for another season of Total Drama mayhem! And welcome... to Neo Wawanakwa!"

Chris paused for effect.

"As it turns out, the fans weren't too happy when their dearly beloved location of the first season got destroyed in our all-stars finale," Chris explained. "Of course, they probably wouldn't be _nearly_ as bummed if they were actual contestants, but I digress. Some of our wealthier fans chipped in and managed to commission an exact replica of the old island, down to some pretty frightening level of detail. I'm serious. I don't even want to know how they know what some parts of the island looked like."

"Oh! And I'm here too!" a girl to Chris's right said with a wave to the camera. She had bottom-length dyed-blonde hair and big blue eyes.

"Right..." Chris said awkwardly. "You see, the producers feel like I've been 'too harsh' on the contestants in the past few seasons." Chris added air quotes when he said 'too harsh'. "So, they got one of the old contestants to keep an eye on me."

"Hey everyone! It's me, Lindsay!" Lindsay beamed.

"They said something about her being a fan favorite and really nice... and a lot better looking than other nice fan faves like Brick or Harold," Chris chuckled.

"Hey, that's mean," Lindsay pouted.

"So? Neither of them are here to hear me," Chris said.

Lindsay took a remote control out of her pocket and pressed the red button on it, prompting Chris to spasm for a short period of time.

"I got Chris a shock collar thingy, so I can punish him if I feel like he misbehaves," Lindsay said with a sweet smile.

"On the contingency that I am still allowed the usual level of snark and joking that I got away with on earlier seasons," Chris added angrily. "Now what was overly cruel about what I'd just said?"

"Well, um, Harold is my friend," Lindsay frowned.

"Ah ah ah. No playing favorites," Chris said with a scolding wag of his finger. "You're on the host team now. No favoritism. Not that Harold will be on this season anyway." Chris turned to the camera. "Ah, right, that reminds me. This season, we've got 26 brand-new contestants just waiting to be introduced to the world. Conveniently enough, all of their names begin with a different letter of the alphabet. Why would we do that? ...When we accepted the X guy, things just went on a roll from there. Anyway, I'm sure you're dying to meet these contestants, so let's go meet them. On Total! _Drama! ALPHA PARTY!_ "

* * *

We now follow a yacht on its way to Neo Wawanakwa. The first contestant we see is a black young man with square glasses and a soul patch. His dark brown hair was in dreadlocks and pulled back into a ponytail. He wore a dark purple polo shirt, khaki pants that were rolled up once, and grey shoes with tan soles. He is standing at the bow of the boat.

"In just a few short minutes, I'll be starting my journey on Total Drama," the boy told himself with a smile. "I suppose I should be giddy now while I still can."

"Hellooo, everybodyyy!" came a loud voice from behind the dreadlocked fellow. The voice revealed itself to come from a white young man with short brown hair and brown eyes to match. He wore a kelly green shirt with a green mushroom design on the back, khaki shorts, and brown sneakers with white socks. "Can you guys even believe it? It's time for my blind Let's Play of Total Drama! Let's get it in!"

"Who, are you talking to?" the first boy asked.

"The camera," the second boy said confidently. "My viewers are expecting me to stand out in this game, so that's what I'm gonna do, man."

"Sorry, but, your 'viewers'?" the first boy asked, confused.

"Aw, don't tell me you don't recognize me," the second boy said, slightly disappointed.

"Can't say I do," the first boy said honestly.

"Well, I don't blame you. It's not often I'm in front of the camera," the second boy chuckled. "I'm Lester, of Super Awesome Bros. The hottest new LP channel to hit YouTube."

"I'm Phoenix," Phoenix introduced himself. "You may recognize me from my guest appearance last season."

"No chance, man," Lester said. "Like I said, this is a blind LP. I've never watched a second of Total Drama in my life."

"I'm sure this all makes sense to your... viewers... but I'm afraid I'm lost," Phoenix said. "Perhaps you could explain it later once we arrive on the island."

"It's all good, man. I can deal," Lester said coolly. "I'm gonna go grind some support ranks if you know what I mean. See you later, man!"

As Lester left, Phoenix shook his head.

"He won't last a second in this game," Phoenix said to himself. "Not only is he new to Total Drama, but he seems very emotion-driven. I'll give him three episodes, tops."

* * *

Inside the yacht was a black girl who looked out a window at the incoming island. Her dark hair was dyed with streaks of purple, and she wore a big blue bow in her hair. Her outfit consisted entirely of a strapless dress which was three different shades of pink.

"I can't believe it. I'm already one step closer to that designer shopping spree," the girl said excitedly. "And who knows? Maybe I'll help some poor lost souls along the way. Eh, what am I saying? Of course I will. This show attracts all kind of freaks."

"BOO!" came a loud voice from behind the girl, who jumped and squealed in response.

The girl turned around to see a second girl laughing maniacally. This new girl was of Polynesian descent and had freckles on her face. Her hair was fully dyed purple and put back into a ponytail. She wore a black T-shirt with a Jack Skellington design on it, orange fingerless gloves that went all the way up to her elbows, dark baggy jeans, and black combat boots.

"My point exactly!" the first girl said.

"Aw man. You reaction was _priceless_ ," the second girl cackled. "Hey, no hard feelings, right?"

"No hard feelings? No hard feelings?!" the first girl asked. "Not only do you sneak up behind me and scare me, and not only do you act like it was nothing at all, but you're doing it all dressed like _that_! I should think there would be at least seven hard feelings!"

"Hey, it's all good. All in the spirit of Halloween," the second girl giggled.

"It's July!" the first girl pointed out.

"Maybe, but who says the fun of Halloween can't last all year?" the second girl said. "I'm Ursula, by the way."

"Good. Now I know which name I'll be saying when it comes time to vote," the first girl pouted. "But, in the spirit of politeness and common decency, I'll tell you my name as well. I am Bijou."

"Pleased to freak you," Ursula said with an amused grin. "Boo!"

This caused Bijou to jump again. Ursula chuckled to herself as she walked away.

"I will not forget this!" Bijou swore. "And for crying out loud, those gloves don't go with the rest of your ensemble _at all_!"

* * *

From the other end of the room sat an overweight white girl with rectangular glasses and boyishly-short, dusty-blonde hair. She wore a white, long-sleeved button-up shirt, red shorts, and sandals. She looked at Bijou and Ursula in condescending amusement.

"The game hasn't even started yet, and already we've got a conflict on our hands," the girl told herself. "And already I have myself an option: I could exploit it to gain a loyal ally, or I could try to patch it up and potentially gain two probably-not-as-loyal allies. We'll see which is best for me later on. I know I'll make the right decision. I'm not student body president at Taft High for nothing."

"Excuse me, but did I just hear you intended to take on a leadership role?" came a voice from next to the girl.

"Why yes, I did, and-" the girl paused as she got a look at the owner of the voice.

This contestant was a tubby young man with blond hair which was styled like a powdered wig, as well as a moustache and soul patch to match. He wore a red-and-gold crown upon his head, as well as a purple long-sleeved shirt, faded brown pants, brown shoes, and a maroon cape with a red gemstone brooch. He also carried a scepter with a red gemstone at the end.

"...And who might you be?" the girl asked.

"I am Warwick, future king of my own country!" Warwick declared. "I, er, I haven't chosen a name for it yet. Too many good options, you know. But, er, I shall use this game as a means to practice my rule! Now! Bow before your king!"

The girl gave an amused scoff.

"See, that's not going to work," she said. "If you want people to listen to you, you need to prove to yourself that you're worth listening too. Going around and shouting like a moron isn't going to accomplish that."

"You _dare_ defy me?!" Warwick asked, taken aback.

"No, it seems like _you're_ daring to defy _me_ ," the girl said intimidatingly. "Now listen here. My name is Kelsey. I will be in charge of my teammates. If you end up on my team, you can kiss your hopes of ruling _anything_ goodbye. Do I make myself clear?"

"Heh... whatever. I mean, er, you will rue the day you challenged King Warwick the First!" Warwick declared uncertainly.

"I've been promised that I will rue many days," Kelsey said. "And somehow I don't see you going through with that promise either."

* * *

Back outside, a tall, well-built young man leaned casually against the window next to Kelsey and Warwick. He had a dark tan cowboy hat over his long orange hair. he wore a white T-shirt, red suspenders, blue jeans, and brown cowboy boots. He idly chewed on what looked to be a popsicle stick.

"Still can't believe they really let me on," the young man said, a country accent evident in his voice. "Winnin' that money would be great for my future, so I'm gonna make the most of my time out here."

All of a sudden, someone else crashed into him, causing the both of them to fall over. As Vardaman gathered his bearings, he took notice of who it was. This contestant was a girl with messy blonde hair under a green-and-white cap who had a bandage on her right cheek. She wore a sky blue jacket over a white shirt, black shorts, and orange roller skates.

"Whoa, what'd I hit now?" the girl asked herself. Then she noticed just what - or who - it was. "Oh no no no! I'm so sorry!" she apologized.

"Aw, think nothin' of it," the boy said as he stood up. He offered his hand to the girl to help her up, which she accepted.

"It's just, I only recently got these skates, so I'm not very good with them," the girl admitted.

"Why not take them off until you can practice somewhere safer?" the boy asked.

"No way am I taking these off," the girl said defiantly. "Ever since I was a little girl, I've wanted a pair of roller skates of my very own. And now I've finally bought them. I'm keeping these babies on, for better or for worse."

"Well, if you find yourself injured, don't be afraid to come find me," the boy said. "Vardaman's the name, and I'm fixin' to be a doctor someday."

"Whoa, really?" the girl asked, impressed. "I never would have guessed."

"I get that a lot. Probably 'cause of the accent," Vardaman admitted. "This stick I'm chewin' on is actually a tongue depressor. So what's your name?"

"Oh! I'm Naomi," Naomi said. "Pleased to meet you, uh... V."

"Heh. Vardaman's not a common name, I'll admit," Vardaman chuckled. "Take your time. You have all summer to learn it."

"I will! Mark my words!" Naomi promised as she skated off in another direction.

"That's girl's somethin' else, alright," Vardaman chuckled in amusement.

* * *

In the deck below Vardaman and Naomi, a rather muscular girl performed chin-ups on a pipe that came just below the ceiling. She was of Native American descent and had her black hair pulled back into a single braid. She wore a dark orange tank top, blue jeans, dark turquoise sneakers, and white bandages around her wrists.

"Twenty-nine... thirty... thirty-one..." the girl counted as she completed each chin-up.

"I mean, I'm no expert on exercise or anything, but aren't you supposed to save your energy for challenges and stuff?" asked a second girl, who sat at a nearby table, reading a book. This girl had pale white skin and neat, shoulder-length black hair. She wore a white blouse, a goldenrod skirt, and sandals.

"The challenge... won't be... for a while..." the first girl said between reps. "I'll have... time... to recharge... between now... and then..." She then dropped to the floor. "And now you've made me lose count."

"Sorry to ruin your life or whatever," the second girl said disinterestedly.

"You seem like you've never exercised a day in your life," the first girl noted.

"I try to avoid it whenever possible, yes," the second girl responded.

"Why would you do that?" the first girl asked.

"I'm anemic," the second girl said. "Exercise and I don't get along. Not even on Easter."

"Anemic? That's an odd name," the first girl said.

"What? No. Anemia is a condition in which one has a deficiency of red blood cells, oftentimes making those afflicted feel exhausted, dizzy, or lightheaded even without exercise," the second girl explained matter-of-factly. "My name is actually Isidora."

"I still think it's weird," the first girl said bluntly.

"It's Italian," Isidora said, annoyed. "And what's your name exactly?"

"I was born Victoria, but for the sake of this game, I'll be known as Tori," Tori answered.

"...Shoot, yeah, mine is weirder than yours," Isidora admitted. "But yeah, don't let me hold you back from becoming the world's strongest woman or whatever. Just don't expect me to compete with you for that title."

"I won't," Tori said as she grabbed back onto the pipe to continue her chin-ups.

* * *

In the next room over, a young lady sang on a karaoke machine. This girl was of Asian descent and had short hair dyed yellow and teal. She wore grey headphones with black lightning bolt patterns on the ears and also had a black lightning bolt painted below her right eye. Her outfit was a fuku sailor uniform with a yellow shirt and socks, a black skirt and shoes, and a teal neckerchief.

Her singing was interrupted when someone unplugged the karaoke machine. This contestant was a white young man with shaggy crimson hair that fell over his left eye. He wore a brown hoodie, rolled-up jeans, and black sneakers with gold soles.

"Nani?" the girl said with a Japanese accent. "Hey! Why did you do that?"

"Because shut up," the boy responded rudely.

"That's not very nice," the girl said, both sad and confused.

"Well good. I don't want to be nice." the boy said defiantly.

"Why not?" the girl asked curiously.

"It's none of your business why not!" the boy said defensively. "Also, shut up."

"Well, I don't think I like you very much," the girl frowned.

"Heh. Sure you don't," the boy scoffed.

"Do you even know who I am?" the girl asked angrily.

"Why would I know that? We're all just meeting for the first time, artard," the boy responded.

"I'm Stormy~," Stormy~ said.

"Look, Stormy, I don't-"

"Nonononono. It's Stormy~. Say it with me," Stormy~ said.

"What's the difference?!" the boy shouted.

"The tilde at the end of course," Stormy~ said. "And I'll have you know I'm a big pop star in Japan."

"Yeah, yeah, sure you are," the boy said dismissively. "I'm Hugh, by the way. Oh, but don't forget the dollar sign I put at the end of it. It's very important."

Hugh sniggered as he walked away with his hands in his hoodie pockets.

* * *

In another part of the yacht, a white, muscular young man walked through a hallway. He had short black hair with silver-frosted tips, a black hoodie with the sleeves torn off, jeans, and grey shoes.

As he turned a corner, he accidentally bumped into somebody.

"Oops, didn't see you there," the young man apologized.

"Oh, I'm sure you didn't," the new contestant, a girl, said. "After all, it _is_ a dark hallway."

The girl was black, and her dark, shoulder-length hair was held back by an orange hairband. Her outfit was a blue T-shirt with a white lowercase T design on it, red sweatpants, and dark brown sneakers.

"It was honestly only because of the corner," the boy explained.

"Oh, don't try to justify yourself," the girl said, annoyed. "You whities are all the same."

"E-Excuse me?" the boy asked, shocked.

"Oh, sure, when you say something racist about a person of color, it's okay, but when I make one observation about white people, all of a sudden it's the end of the world," the girl scoffed.

"I'm not racist," the boy said warily. "My name's Ephraim. I'm a bouncer at a local nightclub back home. If anything, I'm against conflict. It's in the job description."

"Did I ask for your life story?" the girl asked rudely.

"Could you at least tell me your name?" Ephraim asked.

"Fauna," the girl said simply.

"Really? I would have thought it'd begin with a T, based on your shirt," Ephraim said.

"This T is to signify Tumblr, you white scum!" Fauna shouted.

"Please stop bringing race into this," Ephraim sighed.

"Oh, so all of a sudden I'm the bad guy because I'm calling you out on your flaws?" Fauna sneered. "I see how it is."

"I'm leaving now," Ephraim said as he turned around and left.

"Yeah, go cry your white tears, honky!" Fauna scoffed.

* * *

Outside, on a lower deck, a girl sat at a table, taking in the sea breeze. She was of Hispanic descent and wore oval-shaped glasses on her face. Her dark brown hair was in a bob cut, and her outfit consisted of a purple shirt with an orange letter G design, light blue jeans, and pink sneakers with lighter pink soles.

The girl could only smile to herself as she inhaled the salty scent of the sea.

"Well hello there," a voice said as someone entered the scene. "Fancy seeing you here."

This new contestant was a white boy who also wore oval glasses. His black hair was short, and he also had a moustache on his face and a few hairs on his chin. He wore a mud-brown T-shirt over a long-sleeved white shirt, dark blue khaki pants, and sandals.

"My name is Osric. Pleasure to meet you," Osric greeted as he sat down next to the girl.

The girl took her cell phone out of her pocket and began typing something into it.

"I introduced myself. I wish you'd at least extend the courtesy back to me," Osric frowned.

"Hello. My name is Genesis," the phone said. "You'll have to excuse me, but I am mute, and this phone is my only means of communication. I 'speak' with a text-to-speech app. I hope that won't be a problem."

"Oh my. My apologies for being so presumptuous," Osric said.

"It is no issue," Genesis texted with a friendly smile. "I am pleased to meet you as well."

"Hey, I know the game hasn't started yet, but, uh, how'd you like to be in an alliance with me?" Osric asked.

"So soon?" Genesis texted with a surprised look on her face. "I suppose having security early in the game is never a bad thing. But what if we end up on different teams?"

"Then we can work together once we both make the merge," Osric said. "Come on, what do you say?"

"You seem like a smart and confident guy," Genesis texted as she smiled. "I'd be happy to be in an alliance with you."

"Score!" Osric said with a fist pump. "Er, that is to say, thank you. I look forward to working with you in this game."

"Likewise," Genesis texted as she nodded.

* * *

Back inside the yacht was a well-toned white boy with short blond hair that spiked up at the hairline. He wore an orange-and-gold American football jersey with a number 5 design on it as well as gold shorts, orange-and-gold sneakers, and black socks that went halfway up his calves.

"I'll show them... I'll show them all," he muttered to himself.

"Heyyyyyyy!" went a second boy as he approached the footballer. "How are you doing, cutie?"

This boy was white and had quaffed, platinum-blond hair. He wore a red-and-white striped shirt, dark khaki pants, and bright pink sandals.

"Save it. I'm not interested," the first boy said gruffly.

"Really? My gaydar must be off today," the second boy said as he knocked on his head.

"You misunderstand. I am gay," the first boy clarified. "But I'm not interested."

"Flamers aren't your type, huh?" the second boy asked.

"They are," the first boy said with a slight blush. "But I'm not here to hook up. I'm here to win. I'm here to prove that my sexuality doesn't make me any weaker of a person."

"Right on!" the second boy cheered. "I'm Jasper, by the way."

"Mondo," the first boy introduced. "Nice to see there's someone else in the LGBT community at the very least. Even if you are a bit cliched."

"Ooh, do I sense some shade from my brand new friend?" Jasper asked playfully.

"Perhaps," Mondo smirked. "But yeah. Don't expect us to form anything more than friendship in this game."

"Oh, no, I more than understand," Jasper said. "See you around, cutie," he said with a wink as he walked off.

"And please don't flirt with me," Mondo said in a serious tone.

"Ooh. Alright. I see," Jasper said. As he turned his back to Mondo, he snickered darkly to himself. "Idiot."

* * *

Up on the roof of the topmost deck of the yacht was a young man of Indian descent with styled brown hair. He wore a yellow jacket over a black shirt as well as jean shorts and black sneakers.

"Whoa, look at the seagulls," the boy commented to himself. "I wonder if they're here to wish me good luck. Thank you, seagulls!"

"You weird," came a voice from behind him, one which spoke in an Israeli accent. The boy turned around to see a girl of Arabic descent with messy, black, bottom-length hair. Her clothes were beige, dirty, and torn, and she wore no shoes. "Why you talk bird?"

"I like birds," the boy said. "I've always thought flying would be really cool, and birds really seem to like me. We get along, birds and I."

"You need use less word," the girl said. "English not good."

"Oh. Sorry," the boy apologized. "I'm Quentin." He gave the girl a handshake.

"My name Dalit," the girl said. "I slave to rich man in Israel. But no more. I win game. I be rich. I have slave! I be in charge!"

"Wouldn't having slaves make you just as bad as your owner though?" Quentin inquired, his head tilted to the side. "Then again, morality is pretty subjective. Another reason why I like birds. They don't worry about right or wrong. They can poop anywhere they want, and that's okay."

"You talk too much," Dalit said. "Bird are food for rich man. That why bird."

"Well, you have your views and I have mine," Quentin shrugged. "I figure as long as we can all get along, differences in opinion are fine. There's joy in diversity, right?"

"You talk big word," Dalit said as she made a face. "I leave. Talk to other person who talk small word for me."

"Well, good luck," Quentin said with a friendly smile as he waved goodbye. He then returned his gaze to the sky. "Aw... where'd the gulls go? Oh well. I'm sure I'll see more on the island itself."

* * *

There was a bar on the middle deck of the yacht, and a short white girl sat there. Her orange hair was in a ponytail and had yellow barrettes in it. She wore a pink spaghetti strap top, green shorts, and red espadrille shoes with white soles. She sipped on a juice box contently.

"This is really good," the girl commented. "Thanks, barkeep."

"No problem," said the girl running the bar, who was actually around the same age as the first girl. She was black, and her dark hair was in a bun. She wore a long-sleeved yellow shirt, a pink skirt that reached down to her ankles, and faded brown shoes. "I'm no stranger to serving food and drink to people. Even if it is pre-packaged."

"Oh, hey," the first girl suddenly realized. "You're Yolonda, from last season, aren't you?"

"I am," Yolonda confirmed. "I'm actually going to be a contestant in this season."

"Whoa, really?" the first girl realized. "That's so cool. I'm Cordelia. Want to be friends?"

"Oh, uh, sure," Yolonda said, taken aback a bit.

"Cool. I've already made my first friend in the game, and she's a bit of a celebrity," Cordelia beamed. "I'm going to make so many friends in this game. That's my goal."

"Well, it's never a bad thing to have friends in the game," Yolonda said. "But I'd be careful if I were you. Some people are gonna try and take advantage of your friendship."

"Like David?" Cordelia asked innocently.

"What? No. I'm over that," Yolonda said truthfully. "But I have seen the game firsthand. People can and will backstab you if they think it'll help them win."

Cordelia giggled. "You're funny," she said.

"I... wasn't trying to be, but okay," Yolonda said, somewhat confused.

"Can I get another juice box?" Cordelia asked. "You know, for a friend?"

"Sure," Yolonda complied as she handed Cordelia another juice box.

"This game's going to be so much fun," Cordelia beamed.

* * *

Behind the bar was a kitchen, and in the kitchen was a young man, this one of Asian descent. He had yellow eyes and shoulder-length silver hair which seemed to defy gravity on its own. The only clothing that could be seen on him was a crimson hooded robe. He was arranging some sandwich ingredients.

"Yes... yes... YES!" the boy declared. "I am close! Close to divination!"

"Do tell," said another young man as he entered the kitchen. He was or Arabic descent and had back-length black hair as well as a goatee that reached down to his collarbone. He wore a dark-green, long-sleeved shirt, jeans, and red sneakers. "You wouldn't happen to be a wizard, would you?" he asked.

"Do you not know who I am, mortal?!" the first boy scoffed. "I am a messenger from the gods themselves! Sent into the world of the temporary to bestow upon thee the knowledge granted to me! I am the worthy surrogate of the unholy lords that dwell in the afterlife! I am Xingrong, Master of Sandwiches! And you dare to compare me to a common everyday showman whose simple parlor tricks wouldn't impress the most juvenile of titans?! Thou asinus balbus!"

"Just asking," the second boy said simply. He procured a Fushigi ball from his sleeve and began to play with it. "I'm a street magician by trade, and I was hoping to have found a kindred spirit. I am known as The Great Zarardo, but just Zarardo is fine."

"You think that a simple childrens' toy will impress anyone?!" Xingrong scoffed. "I am the greatest Wichmaster to ever walk the face of the earth! The sandwiches I create border on being simply too delicious for the human taste buds to comprehend!"

"Just doing what I can to make money," Zarardo said. "You'd be surprised how many people find the kind of things I do impressive." He reached behind Xingrong's ear and pulled a piece of olive loaf from behind it. He then took a bite of it.

"Feh! I could do that if I truly wanted to!" Xingrong insisted. "But I'd rather not lower myself to such mortal standards! Now leave me be! The gods themselves were about to inform me which new flavors would go excellently with mayonnaise!"

"How about wasabi?" Zarardo suggested.

Xingrong looked as if he'd reached an epiphany. "That's it! Did the gods speak with you as well?! Are you among us unholy angels?!"

"Nope. Just your average everyday street magician," Zarardo said in faux humility as he walked off.

* * *

Down in the cargo hold of the yacht, a girl paced back and forth, rubbing her hands together nervously. She was of Asian descent and her brown hair went just past her chin. She wore a zipped-up blue jacket, dark khaki shorts, and sandals.

"Oh, I'm not sure about this," the girl said to herself. "I know I can be a coward, but there are less dangerous ways of fixing that. Why did Daddy have to apply me for this show? Why couldn't he do that thing from _A Clockwork Orange_?"

"Enjoying the calm before the storm?" asked someone as they appeared to the girl's right, leaning against a cargo crate casually. He had shaggy orange hair and a chin strap beard, as well as sunglasses on his face. He wore a grey polo tee with a lighter grey shield design on it, faded jeans, and grey sneakers with white soles. He also smoked a cigar, prompting the girl to cough.

"I guess you could say that," the girl said. "I'm just really nervous. I'm going to get really hurt out here, I can feel it."

"It's possible," the boy said. "Who knows what the author has planned for you? You could go far, you could go early, you could win, you could go first... it all depends on your potential, Amelie."

"Well, um, but... How did know my name?!" Amelie asked, now frightened.

"Oh, uh, lucky guess. It's not like I'm the author inserting himself into the story or anything. That'd be ridiculous," the boy said with a suspicious smile. "My name's, uh, Ronoc. Yeah." Ronoc took another puff of his cigar.

"Ronoc? I can't say I've heard that name before," Amelie said tentatively.

"It's foreign," Ronoc insisted. "Also, you realize that Ludovico Method was shown negatively in that film, right? Even if it took away Alex's violent tendencies, it was essentially brainwashing, and that's not cool."

"I... don't know what you're talking about," Amelie said, weirded out.

"Right, you haven't actually seen _A Clockwork Orange_ ," Ronoc said. "I, er, I mean _the author_ just made you say you had because _he_ likes it. Some authors do that. I wouldn't recommend doing that, personally, if you ever get into writing. Not all characters have to enjoy the same things you like, after all. You wouldn't like that movie, trust me." Ronoc took another puff of his cigar.

"You keep mentioning an author making me do things. What do you mean?" Amelie asked.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Ronoc said. "Trust me."

"I don't want to be controlled by someone I don't even know," Amelie whimpered.

* * *

The yacht pulled up on the dock where Chris and Lindsay stood and let down its ramp.

"At last, the contestants have arrived!" Chris announced. He took a megaphone and spoke into it. "Alright, campers! When I call your name, come join us on the dock! Amelie!"

Amelie carefully walked down the ramp and onto the dock.

"So far so good... for now," Amelie whimpered.

"Bijou!" Chris called.

Bijou gracefully walked down the ramp.

"I am ready to get this game on the road," Bijou said confidently.

"Cordelia!" Chris called.

Cordelia excitedly skipped down the ramp.

"Hey, gals," Cordelia greeted Amelie and Bijou. "Want to be friends?"

"Not with a girl who thinks barrettes are a good idea," Bijou said.

"Dalit!" Chris called.

Dalit walked down the ramp.

"I hear name. Time start?" Dalit asked impatiently.

"Ephraim!" Chris called.

Ephraim made his way down the ramp.

"Here and ready to play," Ephraim said with a nod.

"Fauna!"

Fauna came down the ramp. She took notice of Bijou.

"You cast more than one black person? I'm legitimately surprised," Fauna commented. She approached Bijou. "Sisters gotta stick together, right?"

"Not on your life, Sweatpants," Bijou scoffed.

"Genesis!" Chris called.

Genesis walked down the ramp as she typed something into her phone.

"I can't wait to start," Genesis texted.

"Hugh!" Chris called.

Hugh stomped as loudly as he could down the ramp.

"Be quiet!" Dalit shouted.

"Shut up and make me," Hugh sniggered.

"Isidora!" Chris called.

Isidora slowly walked down the ramp, not taking her eyes off her book. She marked her book with the cover flap and shut it.

"Let's do this," Isidora said unenthusiastically.

"Jasper!" Chris called.

Jasper sauntered down the ramp.

"Ready to get it in! In more ways than one if you know what I mean," Jasper said with a giggle.

"Kelsey!" Chris called.

Kelsey confidently walked down the ramp.

"Let the game commence," Kelsey said with a smirk as she adjusted her glasses.

"Lester!" Chris called.

Lester walked down the ramp, speaking as he did.

"Hellooo, everybodyyy! I'm Lester Jay, and welcome back to my blind Let's Play of Total Drama. Already we've got some of the competition out here, and they're looking-"

"Mondo!" Chris called.

"And then Chris just goes and interrupts me. Dead freaking rude if you ask me," Lester continued.

"Seriously, can it Lester," Chris said, annoyed.

Mondo made his way down the ramp.

"Time to prove myself," Mondo said to himself.

"Naomi!" Chris called.

Naomi skated quickly down the ramp, launching herself into Hugh and knocking the two over.

"Oops. Sorry," Naomi said in a ditzy manner.

"You can apologize by sucking my-" Hugh started.

"Osric!" Chris called.

"See? Totally rude, am I right?" Lester commented to Hugh as he and Naomi stood back up. "I think Chris could use an arrow to the knee."

"That joke is older than Chris is," Hugh spat.

Osric walked down the ramp.

"I'm liking the look of these people already," Osric said with a grin. "I can't wait to work with some of you."

"Phoenix!" Chris called.

Phoenix emotionlessly walked down the ramp.

"I'm ready as soon as you are," Phoenix stated.

"Quentin!" Chris called.

Quentin airly walked down the ramp, looking at the sky.

"Are there any birds on this island?" Quentin asked. "Just curious, is all."

"Ronoc!" Chris called.

Ronoc walked down the ramp, puffing on his cigar.

"I've always wanted to play this game. Let's see how well I do," Ronoc said. "Like I don't already know. ...Which I don't. Because I'm not the author."

"Whatever, dude," Chris said. "Stormy~!"

Stormy~ ran down the ramp excitedly.

"I'm soooooo excited!" Stormy~ cheered.

"Tori!" Chris called.

Tori lumbered down the ramp.

"I'm ready," Tori said as she cracked her knuckles.

"Ursula!" Chris called.

"BOO!" shouted Ursula from behind Chris.

"Gahhh!" Chris jumped. "Where did you come from?"

"I hid behind Tori as she came down," Ursula chuckled. "Totally worth it."

"We should get _her_ a shock collar," Chris remarked to Lindsay.

Lindsay only shrugged in response.

"Anyway... Vardaman!" Chris called.

Vardaman came down the ramp.

"Afternoon. Nice to meet all y'all," Vardaman greeted with a tip of his hat.

"Warwick!" Chris called.

Warwick confidently walked down the ramp.

"Your king has arrived!" Warwick declared. "You may bow now!"

"Xingrong!" Chris called.

Xingrong came down the ramp mirthfully.

"Did I mishear, or does one of these mortals fancy himself a king?!" Xingrong scoffed. "How humorous!"

"I _am_ the king!" Warwick insisted. "I'll show you!"

"Yolonda!" Chris called.

Yolonda made her way down the ramp.

"Let's get this on," Yolonda said readily.

"And... Zarardo!" Chris called.

Zarardo walked down the ramp, still playing with his Fushigi ball.

"I'm the last one, right?" Zarardo asked. "Nice."

"Indeed you are, Zarardo," Chris confirmed. "Now then. Welcome to Neo Wawanakwa! Let's get you settled into your cabins before we start the game itself, shall we?" Chris gestured towards the two cabins near the front of the island as he led the twenty-six teenagers into the camp. "Boys get the west cabin, while girls get the east. You have ten minutes."

* * *

The boys entered their cabin to find that the wall which separated it into two rooms had not been included in these cabins.

"Looks like we're all sharing the same cabin all season," Phoenix noted.

"That makes sense," Zarardo nodded. "We haven't even been split into teams yet. We can't really have our cabins based on our teams if said teams don't exist."

"So, sadly, no girls on the other side of the room," Osric chuckled.

"At any rate, there are seven bunks," Mondo pointed out. "Enough for all thirteen of us."

"Who's going to get the single bunk, though?" Quentin asked curiously.

"I shall claim that bunk for myself!" Warwick declared. "As king, I deserve to sleep alone and with no chance of a snoring bunkmate!"

"If any of us snore, we'll all hear it, artard," Hugh pointed out.

"Ha! Besides!" Xingrong laughed dismissively. "I am an unholy angel of the dark gods themselves, sent to bestow upon you mortals the most valuable knowledge there could be! If anyone deserves the special bunk, it is I!"

"As long as there are cute boys in here, I don't care _who_ sleeps _where_ ," Jasper said cheekily.

"I'll sleep in the lone bunk," Ephraim decided.

"Who died an made you king?" Warwick asked.

"If you two can't decide who gets it, then I think it stands to reason that neither of you should get it," Ephraim said. "As soon as one of us leaves, you both can sleep with no bunkmate."

"But then it wouldn't be special anymore," Warwick pouted.

"You claim to be a king, but you act like a boy!" Xingrong laughed. "You aren't worthy to rule the week-old leftover sandwiches in a homeless shelter!"

"And already we're seeing some conflict between king guy and sandwich guy," Lester said to the camera. "Wish I could remember their names, but they don't appear in the text boxes... mostly because this is real life and there are no text boxes. Whatever. No skin off my nose. If anything it keeps me from being a target. Score one for Lester."

"Who are you talkin' to?" Vardaman asked curiously.

"And why are you pointing out that you're not a target? That's just a bad idea," Ronoc added.

"Man, look at these people thinking they know what they're doing," Lester continued speaking to the camera as he gestured at Vardaman and Ronoc. "They don't even know they're only NPCs. NPCs never say anything important."

"You really should pay no attention to anything I say," Ronoc agreed.

"I'll... keep that in mind," Vardaman said, confused by everything going on around him.

* * *

Meanwhile, the girls began to unpack in their own cabin.

"Whoa, a whole cabin with just the girls," Cordelia noted. "I christen it the Double X Cabin! Because we all have two X chromosomes. I learned that in Biology."

"Am I not to be included, then?" Tori grunted.

"Oh is there, um, something we should know about you?" Amelie asked carefully.

"I have three X chromosomes," Tori leered.

"Doesn't having an extra chromosome make you retarded or something?" Bijou asked.

"Having a trisomy in certain pairs of chromosomes can lead to conditions such as Down Syndrome or Turner Syndrome, but having three X chromosomes only really makes you taller and makes your cycle kind of weird," Isidora explained matter-of-factly. "There are other symptoms, too, but from the looks of things, most of them don't appear with Tori."

"Well. You learn something new every day," Kelsey remarked. "You're a smart kid. I like that."

"Tch. If I'd told her that, I don't think she'd call me smart," Fauna muttered to Yolonda.

"Why not?" Yolonda asked.

"Because that's how white people are," Fauna said. "It's up to us to get rid of the oppression and-"

"No oppression!" Dalit agreed. "I own slave now!"

"Excuse me?!" Fauna snapped.

"Oh, um, I don't think she knows any better!" Naomi said desperately. "Don't be mad at her. Please."

"Of course you think I'm wrong, just because I'm black!" Fauna accused.

"She's a very strange one," Stormy~ commented to Genesis and Ursula. Genesis nodded in response.

"I'll be sure to scare the sweatpants off her by the time the day's over," Ursula chuckled.

"Please do. Maybe she'll learn to put on some real clothes," Bijou quipped. "And you still need to lose the gloves, I should add."

"But these gloves were given to me by my dead mother..." Ursula said sadly.

"Oh... really?" Bijou asked, concerned.

"Tch. No!" Ursula snickered. "But how awful would you have felt if they were?"

"I'm definitely voting for you whenever possible," Bijou grumbled.

After everyone had unpacked, they all met up with Chris and Lindsay in the main campground.

"Moving on in our tour..." Chris said as he approached an outhouse. "The confessional booth. A staple of Total Drama since the very first season! Why don't you guys all let the audience know what you're thinking right now?

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** So many people who play this game lose simply because they let their emotions get the better of them. I've decided to leave my emotions at the door and play 100% logically.

 **Lester:** Shoot, I have so much to say about the characters in this game! That Japanese girl with the electric motif is already my new waifu. I'm not denying it. Anyway, Chris said we only had a few seconds each, so I'll talk more about it to you guys la-

 **Bijou:** I consider myself a member of the fashion police, and yes, I am proud of it. People _will_ make judgments on you based on how you dress, therefore, if I tell people how to dress, I'm really helping them. I know what I'm doing.

 **Ursula:** Halloween is my favorite day of the whole year. Scaring people is so much fun, and the dark atmosphere is just the best. I try to live every day like a mini-Halloween, and then go all out on October 31st.

 **Kelsey:** I am only comfortable when I am in the leadership position. That's why I make it an effort to take the reigns of whatever projects I'm involved in. I more or less lead all the students at my school, and this game will be no different.

 **Warwick:** Nobody seems to believe in me and my future reign! It's ridiculous! I shall show them, of course. I'll prove to everyone that I wasn't just _handed_ a royal position like everyone born into the British royal family.

 **Vardaman:** This bunch of players seems even weirder than last season's bunch if you ask me. That don't mean I won't help 'em in their times of need, of course. I'm a doctor-in-training, first and foremost, and if people need me, I'll be there for 'em.

 **Naomi:** I'm glad we have a wide-open area to compete in this season. Gives me lots of space to practice roller-skating. Hopefully I don't crash into any more people. That'd be embarrassing.

 **Tori:** I view this game as an opportunity to get stronger. The way I see it, beauty and intelligence are worthless for me. It's physical strength that gets things done.

 **Isidora:** Being an anemic loner pretty much makes me dead girl walking, but you know what, I'm in this game, so heck if I'm not going to try. Tori and I already get along kind of, so there's something.

 **Stormy~:** Not only does this game look fun, but it will be great for publicity! I want to be big in North America too, and I can't wait to show you all what I've got. I'm not a famous pop star for nothing, you know. Atashi matsu koto ga dekinaiiii!

 **Hugh:** You think they're buying it? Look, I'm not normally this rude, but you know what? I'm sick of being the nice guy. Girls want a bad boy, and I want a girlfriend, so naturally, the badder I am, the more ladies will be attracted to me. You laugh now, but just watch.

 **Ephraim:** I'm the type who finishes disputes, not starts them. Might just be a force of habit from being a nightclub bouncer, but it's a natural instinct to keep things from getting too out-of-control. Might lose me some fans, but you know what? I'm here to play the game, not to be famous.

 **Fauna:** I can't help but notice that the number of white people is the same as the number of people of color. I counted. Thirteen each. That might make it harder to get rid of all the whities, but damn if I'm not gonna try!

 **Genesis:** _(She types something on her phone. The phone speaks.)_ One upside to my disability is that people always underestimate me. Just put on a cute smile and they think they're helping me like the lost soul they think I am. Which lets me play hardball behind the scenes while the others take all the votes.

 **Osric:** I'm determined to play an excellent strategic game, and I think I can do it, but there's one major thing holding me back... my fetishes. I have a lot of them, you see. Genesis's glasses? Hot damn. Ursula's freckles? Hot damn. Amelie's cute little feet? Hot. Damn. See, it's happening already. I need to focus!

 **Mondo:** I only came out of the closet recently, but the guys on my football team didn't take it as well as I'd hoped. They don't outright bully me or anything, but they do treat me like less of a man now, like I'm all of a sudden weaker. I'm going to win this game to show them just how wrong they are.

 **Jasper:** Oh my gosh, these people are so dumb! I'm not really gay. But look. All girls want a gay best friend, so if I serve as one, they'll want to keep me around. Plus, if people call me out on anything, I'll just call them homophobic, and they'll back off. I even have the actual gay guy fooled. It's the perfect plan, I'm telling you.

 **Quentin:** I'm feeling optimistic about this game. I don't know, people tell me that things just have a tendency to go my way. I never really notice, since I try to see the positives in everything, but hey, whatever works, right?

 **Dalit:** Game start. I make slave soon. I be in power! I excited!

 **Cordelia:** My gameplan is to make as many friends as possible. Not only are friends really fun, but they don't vote for you, either. This game's going to be great!

 **Yolonda:** I think my biggest concern in the game is that people might see me as a threat for being a former staff member. It's a ridiculous idea, but this early on, people will look for any excuse to vote for someone. I'd best lay low for now.

 **Xingrong:** I was sent to this game by the gods themselves to spread the message of Wichmastery! Much like how I spread mustard on a roast beef and cheddar sandwich on white! You are welcome in advance, mortals!

 **Zarardo:** There are two things you should know about street magicians. One: we are able to effectively manipulate the minds of our audience to think that what isn't there really is. Two: a magician never reveals his secrets. In light of this, this game should be a snap. _(He snaps his fingers.)_

 **Amelie:** My daddy's a psychiatrist, and he believes that the best way to keep me from being so nervous is to go out and experience some danger. I don't know how that works, but I would like the money to pay for college, so hopefully this is a fairly painless season.

 **Ronoc:** _(He takes a puff of his cigar.)_ What? I told you not to pay attention to anything I say. You really shouldn't. I'm not all that important to the story anyway.

* * *

Chris, Lindsay, and the campers all entered the mess hall.

"Welcome to craft services," Chris announced. "This is where you'll be eating your breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The mess hall will only be open during designated times, so you're not going to want to miss out on that."

"By the way, if my uncle's in jail, and I'm here, who's the chef?" Yolonda asked.

"...I _knew_ I'd forgotten something!" Chris said with a facepalm. He glanced at Lindsay, who looked at him expectantly, then back at the contestants. "Er... in a twist that I definitely didn't just make up... you guys will be cooking for yourselves this season. ...Yeah."

"Fwahahahahaha! Excellent!" Xingrong boasted. "This way, I may spread the message of Wichmastery even more effectively!"

"Make me food!" Dalit shouted at Xingrong.

"Har! You think you have dominion over me?!" Xingrong asked.

"Make me food, slave!" Dalit repeated.

"Okay, this girl's asking for an ass-beating," Fauna growled as she rolled up her sleeves.

"If you wanted to vote out all the white people, maybe attacking a person of color whom you may want on your side wouldn't be the best idea," Phoenix suggested.

"Uh, thanks..." Fauna said warily.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** No, I don't agree with Fauna's ideals or her crusade, but she's basically already offered an alliance spot with me simply because of what color my skin _isn't_. I'd be foolish to not take her up on that offer.

 **Fauna:** I didn't expect Phoenix to be onboard so easily. Most people have the nerve to call _me_ racist because I'm fighting for equality. Good to see _someone's_ got the right state of mind.

 **Xingrong:** That short girl with the ragged clothing is incredibly foolish to give orders to a higher being!

 **Dalit:** Silver Hair bad slave. He no make me food.

* * *

After the contestants had all had some food, Chris returned to the mess hall.

"Listen up, campers. It's time for your first challenge!" Chris announced.

"But we don't even have teams yet," Lester pointed out. "Is this a free-for-all match?"

"It is, Lester," Chris confirmed. "Right now, Lindsay is hiding six McLean brand Invincibility Statues: three blue and three pink. Your goal is to bring me one of these statues. Only boys can bring back a blue statue, and only girls can bring back a pink. Whoever brings back a statue will be invincible in tonight's eliminations!"

"Eliminations? As in, plural?" Isidora asked, her eyebrow raised warily.

"That is correct. For you see, tonight, there will be two elimination ceremonies: one for the boys, and one for the girls. Meaning, two of you will be voted out before we even get to split into teams!"

"Brutal. I love it," Ursula snickered.

"In addition, those statues serve the same purpose as they did in Revenge of the Island," Chris continued. "Meaning that you can play them at any time during an elimination to cancel out all votes for a person of your choosing."

"Whoa. There'll be six of those right off the bat?!" Naomi gasped.

"Not to mention we'll all know who has them," Osric added as he stared at Naomi's legs.

"Things just got real," Bijou nodded.

Lindsay ran back into the mess hall.

"I'm back!" Lindsay announced. "They're all hidden!"

"In that case, the challenge is on," Chris told the campers. "Go get 'em!"

The campers left the mess hall at varying speeds.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Seeing as how I'm the rightful king of... whatever my country will be named... I more than deserve one of those statutes. That raggedy girl has the right idea - I should find someone to do all my work for me. That's how kings work, right?

 **Stormy~:** Ooh, my first challenge. How exciting!

 **Kelsey:** I will find one of those statutes. No two ways about it.

 **Quentin:** I'd be fine if I didn't win this one, because I'm just happy to be a part of the game at all. Maybe I'll spend this challenge birdwatching. Who knows?

 **Genesis:** _(She types something on her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I'm already aligned with Osric, so perhaps we can work together in the challenge. After that, I'll just have to hope for the best.

 **Mondo:** _(He pounds into the palm of his hand.)_ Game on.

* * *

Chris and Lindsay, still in the mess hall, turned to the camera.

"Who will walk away from the challenge with an Invincibility Statue?" Chris asked.

"Who will make enemies, and who will make friends?" Lindsay asked.

"Who will be the first two voted out of the season?" Chris asked.

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

"How was that?" Lindsay asked Chris.

"Eh, we'll work on it," Chris said honestly.

* * *

 _A/N: So that's part one of the first episode. As with last season, this will be the only episode split into two parts. So, how's the new cast? Who made the best first impressions? Who made the worst? Tell me what you guys think. :)_

 _By the way, for those who follow me on deviantART who might be wondering, the star that was originally at the end of Stormy~'s name won't show up on , so it had to be omitted._


	2. Ep 01 P2: Idol Hands: Chris's Playthings

_A/N: Part two is here, ladies and gents. Hopefully you enjoy!_

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"When we last left off, our campers went off in search of one of six McLean brand Invincibility Statues," Chris explained. "The six who return to camp with one of these wooden heads will be immune from tonight's votes, which will be very important, because tonight, we will hold two, count 'em two, eliminations."

"Ooh! And! And! They get to keep the statues," Lindsay added. "Meaning that anyone who finds one is safe from being voted out until they use their statue."

"Of course, if they _really_ wanted to, they could use the statue on someone else like that Nolan kid did last season," Chris said. "But come on. Who in this day and age is that nice?"

"What about the kid who did it last season?" Lindsay asked. "Wouldn't _he_ be that nice?"

"He was something alright," Chris remarked. "Anyway! Who will find the Invincibility Statues? Who will make friends early on? How about enemies? And who will be the first two to leave the game? Find out, right here, on Total!"

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

As the campers left the mess hall, Lester approached Xingrong.

"Yo, Sandwich Guy. Wanna join me in this sidequest?" Lester offered.

"You seem to acknowledge my skills," Xingrong pointed out. "In light of this, I shall accompany you! You can be my apprentice!"

"Whatever you say, dude," Lester chuckled.

"You doubt me?!" Xingrong asked.

"I mean, I'm the main character of my own story," Lester said. "If you think I'm your apprentice, then that's what you think, but the way I see it, I'm still the protagonist."

"True, but everyone is the protagonist of their own story," Quentin mused as he wandered by. "Even people like Fauna or Hugh."

"Totally forgot which one's Fauna and which one's Hugh," Lester admitted. He turned to the camera. "They really need text boxes in this game, am I right? That's one thing I don't like about this game. The HUD is kind of terrible."

"You have any idea what he's talking about?" Quentin asked Xingrong.

"He speaks many things which no one understands," Xingrong said. "How would you also like to become my apprentice?!"

"Sure, why not?" Quentin shrugged. "What am I apprenticing you with?"

"I shall guide you in the art of Wichmastery!" Xingrong bellowed.

"I'm no Wiccan, but that doesn't mean I won't keep an open mind," Quentin said as he began to look at some birds flying by.

"...which is another why I didn't really like Golden Sun all that much," Lester continued speaking to a different camera. "Not to mention-"

"Come, apprentice! It is time to search for invincibility!" Xingrong commanded.

"Oh, shoot. I should probably get on that," Lester said to the camera. "This minigame probably has a time limit."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Xingrong:** My blessed mission has officially begun! I already have two disciples in the ways of making sandwiches! Truly the gods smile upon me!

 **Quentin:** Lester and Xingrong are both pretty strange guys, but you know what, that's pretty cool sometimes. Makes life a lot more interesting, you know?

 **Lester:** I'm gonna kill this minigame though. For real. It's like this one time when I was nine, and we were playing hide and seek, and I was the only one who didn't get found. I mean, it's not _exactly_ like that, since I'm the one seeking this time, but you know what I'm saying.

* * *

Kelsey took Mondo aside.

"You. You seem very intent on winning," Kelsey noted.

"I am," Mondo nodded. "I won't settle for anything less than first."

"I like that," Kelsey smirked. "You and I should work together. I'm a very goal-oriented person."

"Works for me," Mondo nodded. "We can both keep our eyes peeled for the idols."

"They're Invincibility Statues," Kelsey corrected. "Idols are from Survivor. This is Total Drama."

"It matters," Mondo said sarcastically.

"It _does_ matter," Kelsey insisted. "We don't want to get sued."

"I don't think that's how it works," Mondo said flatly.

"I don't know. You wouldn't want to risk it," Naomi said as she skated past the two.

"See? She knows what she's talking about," Kelsey said. "She can come with us."

"Cool!" Naomi chirped as she skated past them again.

"Are you going to stop skating back and forth?" Mondo asked Naomi.

"Soon as I figure out how," Naomi said as she skated past them again.

"Point your toes to the ground," Mondo told her.

Naomi did as she was told and pointed the toes of both her feet at the ground, prompting her to trip and fall.

"Hey, it worked! Cool!" Naomi beamed.

"We're losing precious daylight, people," Kelsey said as she clapped her hands to get the attention of the other two. "Let's go."

"Yes, ma'am!" Naomi saluted as she stood up.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mondo:** Yeah, I probably should have been more specific. I didn't think I'd have to clarify that she only needed to do one foot.

 **Naomi:** I've already learned how to stop without necessarily crashing; I'm already making a ton of progress!

 **Kelsey:** Mondo seems like the type who knows his place, and Naomi couldn't lead her way out of a paper bag, so having these two on my side is already a good start. Of course, I have no idea how teams will be determined, so there's no guarantee they'll be on mine, but it's best to make connections early on.

* * *

Tori dashed out of the mess hall.

"Wait! Tori!" Isidora called as she trudged out.

Tori stopped.

"What is it?" she asked.

"We're, like... friends, right?" Isidora panted.

"You're tired after walking a few meters?" Tori asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't judge me," Isidora said. "Are we friends or not?"

"We hardly know each other," Tori pointed out.

"Yes, but you're the person I've talked to the most so far," Isidora said. "By that logic, you're my closest ally in the game."

"Wouldn't that also make me your worst enemy?" Tori asked.

"Let's not think too hard about it," Isidora suggested. "Let's look for idols together."

"You would slow me down," Tori said.

"Couldn't you carry me or something?" Isidora asked. "It'd be a good workout or whatever."

"You make a good point," Tori conceded.

"Great. You're going to have to lift me up yourself, by the way," Isidora said.

Tori rolled her eyes as she bent down. Isidora grabbed onto Tori's shoulders, then Tori stood back up and began to sprint.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I'm the type of person who likes to meet people one at a time. I know Tori, so... that's a start, or something.

 **Tori:** Isidora is a strange girl, but I have no issues with her. Just because I focus on strength doesn't mean she can't focus on smarts. We are a brains and brawn duo, if I may be so bold.

* * *

Genesis approached Osric as she began texting.

"We are aligned, and I'm noticing people splitting off in groups," Genesis texted. "Shall we?"

"Actually, I was thinking we should split up," Osric suggested. "Makes it easier for both of us to find an idol. Plus, we could make more connections."

"I see your point," Genesis texted with a nod.

"You! Girl in purple!" Dalit shouted. "You slave now! Follow I!"

The slave girl grabbed Genesis by the arm and dragged her away. Genesis gave a sheepish wave to Osric as she was dragged off.

"I guess that's one way to do it," Osric remarked.

"BOO!" Ursula shouted from behind Osric.

"Sugar honey iced tea!" Osric shouted as he turned around. "Oh. It's you."

"Ursula," Ursula introduced.

"Osric," Osric introduced back. "Say, how would you like to work with me in the challenge?"

"Eh, works for me," Ursula shrugged. "We should go look in the dark forest."

"I like _that_ idea," Osric said with a perverted giggle as he and Ursula walked off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types something on her phone. The phone speaks.)_ The slave girl has an awful social game. I'm not sure she's what Osric wants in our alliance. She's definitely not what I want in our alliance.

 **Dalit:** Already I have slave. I close to win now. Just beat other people. Easy! Ha!

 **Osric:** Ursula fulfills quite a few of my... interests. Beautiful dark skin, adorable freckles, gorgeous dyed hair. I think I'll enjoy spending time with her. Definitely someone to add to the alliance if possible.

 **Ursula:** I wonder if this recreation of Wawanakwa has a recreation of the escaped psycho killer with a chainsaw and a hook? Wouldn't that be so much fun? _(She snickers.)_

* * *

Bijou approached Stormy~.

"You! We shall accompany each other for this challenge," Bijou stated.

"Oh, we will?" Stormy~ asked innocently. "Did Chris say that?"

"No, I did," Bijou said. "You're the best-dressed person here other than myself. We need to look out for each other."

"Oh, thank you," Stormy~ smiled at the compliment. "You're so nice."

"Yes, I know," Bijou said. "I also know that you're the type of girl people are going to want on their side. So I'm claiming you first."

"Thank you?" Stormy~ said, unsure.

"It's a compliment, don't worry," Bijou said. "I'm also someone people will want on their side. I figure it's best that we work together and not against each other."

"We should sing a song to go with our new friendship!" Stormy~ exclaimed. "We can sing the same words, but I'll sing in Japanese, and you can sing in English!"

"One: I don't sing," Bijou stated. "Two: I don't know Japanese, so I wouldn't know what we were supposed to be singing."

"Aw. Okay," Stormy~ frowned.

"For now, let's look for those idols," Bijou said.

"Yes, let's!" Stormy~ nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bijou:** As the best-dressed people here, Stormy~ and I will have people wanting to work with us. That's just how life works. I figure that if we stick together, we can be unstoppable social threats up until we make the final two.

 **Stormy~:** Bijou seems really cool. I think she knows what she's doing, so I'll trust her while I sit back and look cute. _(She winks at the camera.)_

* * *

Fauna gathered Phoenix and Yolonda.

"Where is that Bijou girl?" Fauna asked.

"I think I just saw her leave with Stormy~," Yolonda said.

"Ugh, seriously?!" Fauna complained. "Oh well. I guess the three of us will have to stick together for now."

"We will?" Phoenix asked.

"Of course!" Fauna insisted. "Brothers and sisters need to stick together. Otherwise, whitey will take advantage of us and walk all over us, just like they did when America was founded."

"Yeah, that's definitely how it works," Yolonda said as she rolled her eyes.

"I couldn't help but notice that white guy who had you wrapped around his finger last season," Fauna pointed out to Yolonda.

"Hey, I'm over him!" Yolonda said.

"Prove it," Fauna challenged.

"Er..." Yolonda paused.

"That's what I-"

All of a sudden, Yolonda kissed Phoenix on the lips.

"Okay then," Phoenix said as Yolonda broke the kiss. "If you need me, I'll be focusing on the game and looking for idols."

"Good call," Fauna agreed. "Let's go!"

"I take it my point is proven?" Yolonda asked.

"Yeah, whatever," Fauna said dismissively as she and Phoenix walked off.

"At least wait for me," Yolonda grumbled as she followed them.

* * *

 **Confessional:Phoenix:**

 **Phoenix:** I'm not sure if that kiss was just to prove she's over David, or if she had some other ulterior motive behind it, but it's definitely not happening again. The last thing I need is to fall for someone. That accounts for a majority of emotion-based eliminations.

 **Fauna:** It's important that a person of color wins this season. If a majority of this game's winners are _not_ white, maybe we can finally make some damn progress.

 **Yolonda:** On one hand, I don't appreciate being roped into an alliance simply because of my race, but on the other, I'm not about to start making conflict this early on. As for the kiss, it was only to prove a point.

* * *

Amelie walked up to Ephraim nervously.

"E-Excuse me?" Amelie asked.

"Hm? Yes?" Ephraim asked.

"You're the one who likes to end conflicts, right?" Amelie asked.

"I am," Ephraim confirmed. "Why? Is someone bothering you?"

"No, well, not yet. At least I don't think so," Amelie stammered. "You see, the thing is, I'm really nervous I'm going to get hurt in this challenge. Like, what if someone sees an idol at the same time I do, and they shove me to the ground and beat me unconscious so I won't get it?"

"...I don't think anyone in this game would do that," Ephraim told her.

"That's what they thought about Franklin, too!" Amelie insisted. "Please protect me. I don't want to get hurt."

"Well, if you think it will help you, I'll follow you and make sure nothing happens," Ephraim assured her.

"Thank you," Amelie said quietly.

"If I may, you don't seem like you really want to be here," Ephraim noted.

"No no no. I do," Amelie said. "I may have been coaxed onto the show, but the money would be nice for college tuition."

"Yeah, I hear that can be a pain," Ephraim nodded. "Well, time is of the essence. Let's go."

Amelie gulped. "O-Okay." She paused. "I don't suppose you could find me a pink idol and bring it back for me?"

"Chris said only girls could bring back the pink idols," Ephraim reminded her. "I'm not going to break the rules."

"Alright," Amelie said with a scared frown.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ephraim:** Amelie, honestly, doesn't seem cut out for this game. But if she wants me to make sure nothing goes wrong, well, it'd feel wrong of me to say no.

 **Amelie:** I just hope there aren't any idols in the forest. I don't like forests. That's where animals live. Animals that can eat you.

* * *

Jasper slinked up to Vardaman.

"Hey there, cute stuff," Jasper said flirtatiously. "You're not one of those really intolerant country boys, are you?"

"Er, I don't think so?" Vardaman said warily.

"Oh my. You're adorable," Jasper chuckled.

"Thanks?" Vardaman said, slightly uncomfortable.

"Hey guys," Cordelia said as she approached the two.

"Howdy, Cordelia," Vardaman said with a tip of his hat.

"Hey Cordy, you sexy bitch. What's shaking?" Jasper smiled.

"I just wanted to know if you two wanted to be my friends," Cordelia smiled.

"Ah! _Do_ I?" Jasper agreed.

"Well that sounds mighty nice," Vardaman smiled.

"Cool!" Cordelia beamed.

"Well what are we waiting for? This is already a hot threesome," Jasper said cheekily. "Let's get searching!"

"Yeah!" Cordelia agreed.

"Sounds good to me," Vardaman nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** Honestly, I only spoke with Vardaman just so I could mess with him. It's surprisingly fun. But hey, from the looks of things, I could be Cordy's straight gay best friend. And Cordy's a likable girl, so being her friend looks good on me.

 **Cordelia:** I'm already making so many friends! Things sure are coming up well for me, huh?

 **Vardaman:** I won't lie, Jasper flirtin' with me didn't make me super comfortable, but I hardly think I'm the only guy who'd feel that way. I don't have a problem with his preferences, I just wish he wouldn't force 'em on me is all.

* * *

Warwick approached Zarardo.

"You! You are the one who performs magic, yes?" Warwick asked.

"I've been known as such," Zarardo said casually as he procured a stick of gum seemingly from thin air. He offered it to Warwick.

"This is winter mint. How did you know?" Warwick asked as he accepted the gum, unwrapped it, and began chewing on it.

"Total coincidence, actually," Zarardo said. "Is there a reason you wanted to speak with me, or did you just want gum?"

"I need someone to serve as my right hand in this game," Warwick stated. "You seem level-headed enough to serve as a good advisor, and entertaining enough to be a good fool."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Zarardo said. "You know what? I accept,"

"Like you have a choice," Warwick grinned. "Come, er..."

"Zarardo is my name," Zarardo explained.

"Come, Zarardo!" Warwick declared. "My reign over this island begins today!"

"I look forward to it, Your Majesty," Zarardo said with a wry grin.

"That's what I like to hear," Warwick said proudly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Zarardo must be one of the smartest people in this game, because he's the only one who has the respect to treat me like a king. I would say he's the smartest, but then, here _I_ am. He will make a fine runner-up indeed.

 **Zarardo:** Warwick doesn't strike me as the brightest bulb on the tree, so he seems like the perfect vessel for manipulation. Just make everything I want sound like something that will benefit him, and we're solid. We'd need some more allies, of course, but this is a good start for now.

* * *

Hugh looked around to see that no one else was around.

"Come on! Is there no one who wants to go with me?!" Hugh fumed.

"I'm still here," Ronoc said as he took a puff of his cigar.

Hugh coughed. "Should you be smoking that?"

"I'm 19. Therefore, I'm of legal age to smoke a cigar, and yet still young enough to be considered a teen," Ronoc boasted.

"Whatever. You're coming with me," Hugh ordered.

"Well, I guess someone has to," Ronoc shrugged. "Soliloquy scenes tend to be shorter than dialogue scenes anyway."

"You guess someone has to? Tch. You're an artard," Hugh scoffed.

"Two pairs of eyes are better than one when searching for things, you know," Ronoc said as he puffed on his cigar. "We'd better get moving."

"Ugh, fine. But only because I need one of those statues," Hugh conceded.

"Don't worry, if we find one, I'll let you have it," Ronoc said. "Not like I really need one."

"You'll need medical care real soon if you don't shut up," Hugh threatened.

"We should probably head off," Ronoc suggested. "Early bird gets the worm, right?"

"But we're the last ones here, artard," Hugh pointed out.

"Like that really matters," Ronoc said. "We could still end up finding one by pure luck."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ronoc:** He spent the next seven or so minutes being difficult before we actually went off. I, er, the author will save you all some time by putting the transition confessionals here.

 **Hugh:** Ronoc's a condescending douche. Acting like he's so above us all. Talking about some author he knows that no one cares about. I kinda want to punch his lights out.

* * *

Lester, Quentin, and Xingrong wandered through the forest.

"You know, why is it that the first world in every video game takes place in a plain or forest?" Lester asked. "Happens in like every Mario and Zelda game, plus every Pokemon game has a forest to traverse near the start of the game. Oh, and there's also Kirby. It's like, come up with some new ideas, am I right?"

There was a pause.

"You know, I'd appreciate it if you two also joined in on the commentary," Lester frowned. "We can't be the next Continue? if only the Paul is speaking."

"I thought you were already on YouTube," Quentin pointed out.

"I am. My brother Mo and I co-commentate," Lester said. "But he's not here right now, so the three of us have to take advantage of this opportunity."

"I came here to teach you of making sandwiches. Not to speak to a camera!" Xingrong responded.

"Yeah, well, there aren't any sandwiches nearby, are there?" Lester asked. "Come on, guys, this is important to me."

"It's important to me that my divine mission be fulfilled!" Xingrong insisted. "Yet you speak of it as if it does not matter!"

"Dude, it's just sandwiches," Lester said. "No one makes a living by making sandwiches. I could make a living doing Let's Plays."

"You fail to grasp the basic concept of a chef!" Xingrong shouted. "Truly you are the most ignorant person I have ever met!"

"What about King Guy?" Lester asked.

"Hmph. You make a good point," Xingrong conceded.

"Also, weren't there three of us?" Lester asked.

He and Xingrong paused to notice that Quentin had disappeared.

"Are we supposed to go find him, or will he re-join our party later?" Lester asked.

"Let us focus on the task at hand," Xingrong decided. "Finding the hidden statues."

"Alrighty then," Lester said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Xingrong:** Lester needs to focus on this game, or he will never last long enough to learn _anything_ from me!

 **Lester:** Xingrong needs to chill. The game's just started. At least give me some time to get a grasp on the mechanics. Geez.

* * *

Quentin wandered through the forest on his own, staring into the sky.

"I wish I could join you guys," he said to the birds above. "But sadly I am bound to this earth by the laws of gravity. How do you do it? What do you two think?"

He stopped to find that Lester and Xingrong were no longer with him.

"Did you two fly away as well? How unfortunate," Quentin mused.

Just then something caught Quentin's eye. There seemed to be a differently-colored part of a nearby bush. He approached it and found a pink Chris head.

"Aw, that's too bad. Can't use this," Quentin said. "Maybe I'll take it with me anyway and give it to the first girl I come across."

Quentin took the statue to find a blue one beneath it.

"Well hey. Looks like it's my lucky day," Quentin smiled as he also picked up the blue one, only to find another pink one underneath that one.

Quentin took the pink one, only to find another blue. To his surprise, all six statues were hidden in that bush.

"Wow. Looks like it really is my lucky day," Quentin smiled.

* * *

Meanwhile, Chris and Lindsay watched Quentin on a camera feed from the staff building.

"Lindsaaaaay! You were _supposed_ to hide each statue in a different place," Chris told her.

"Really? But you never told me that," Lindsay frowned.

"The challenge is going to take forever now," Chris whined. "Do I need to drop you in the crocodile pit- AGH!"

Chris was cut off when Lindsay activated his shock collar.

"Seriously? I can't use the crocodile pit?!" Chris snapped.

"Nope," Lindsay smiled. "Nothing killy."

"But then what's even the point?" Chris asked.

"What if I threw _you_ in the crocodile pit?" Lindsay pouted.

"Oh, I see, so it's okay when _you_ say it, but when _I_ say i- OW!"

Lindsay activated the shock collar again.

"Rude," Chris frowned.

"Just doing my job," Lindsay smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Quentin:** I still can't believe I managed to find all six. Guess me getting separated from the guys was really a blessing in disguise.

* * *

Kelsey, Mondo, and Naomi wandered through a different part of the forest.

"Say, Kelsey, I have a question," Naomi inquired.

"I'm happy to answer," Kelsey said proudly.

"If we find a pink one, how do we decide which of us gets it?" Naomi asked.

"Whichever of us has a higher GPA, obviously," Kelsey stated.

"Oh. I don't know mine off the top of my head," Naomi admitted.

"Mine is 4.3. Do you think yours is higher than that?" Kelsey asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Um-"

"Trick question. It isn't," Kelsey interrupted.

"Basically what she's saying is that she'll get it," Mondo explained to Naomi.

"Okay. I _guess_ that makes sense," Naomi said.

"By the way, follow up question, what if we find all the statues at once?" Mondo asked.

"That makes no sense," Kelsey said. "How could we-"

"Hey guys," Quentin said as he walked by with all the statues in his arms.

"Hey! Yellow jacket guy!" Kelsey called. "Save some for the rest of us, why don't you?!"

"Oh, right, I was going to do that, huh?" Quentin remembered.

"How do you forget something like that?" Kelsey asked. "What did you think you were going to do with them?"

"...Good point," Quentin conceded. He tossed a statue to each of the three before him.

"Thanks, stranger," Naomi smiled.

"Right," Mondo nodded.

"Later," Quentin waved as he walked off.

"Well, that makes things significantly easier for us," Mondo remarked.

"On one hand, I don't feel like I really earned this," Kelsey said. "On the other hand, I'm not about to give up an advantage over everyone else."

"Well said," Mondo agreed. "Let's head back to camp.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mondo:** _(He's holding his statue.)_ Like Kelsey said, I didn't really work for this, but now that I do have it, I'm guaranteed at least one more round to prove my strength. I won't let this go to waste.

 **Kelsey:** What I want to know is how that kid managed to find all of the statues like that. I'm going to have to keep an eye on him.

 **Naomi:** Cool, free idol!

Kelsey: _(From outside.)_ It's an Invincibility Statue!

Naomi: Oop! Right! Sorry! Cool, free statue!

* * *

Isidora and Tori wound up near a cave.

"Excellent," Isidora said emotionlessly. "A cave is a perfect hiding spot."

"What are we hiding from?" Tori asked.

"No, no, not for us. For an idol," Isidora explained.

"Ahh," Tori realized. "That makes more sense."

"Of course, it's also home to bears or whatever," Isidora stated. "So we need to be very cautious. By which I, of course, mean _you_ need to be very cautious."

"Why me?" Tori asked.

"I can't outrun a bear," Isidora said. "I can't even outrun my cat."

"Hm..." Tori thought to herself.

"Tell you what. If you find one, and it's pink, I'll let you keep it," Isidora offered.

"You promise?" Tori asked.

"Yes, I promise," Isidora said, slightly impatiently.

"Alright," Tori said as she took a deep breath. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck and whatever," Isidora said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I wouldn't say I'm taking advantage of her. I'm just thinking practically about which of us has a better chance of making it out alive. Plus, I really would have let her keep the idol. I'm not heartless.

 **Tori:** I'm unsure of Isidora's intentions, but fighting a bear definitely won't hurt. Well, it might, but it's something I think I can handle either way.

* * *

Dalit and Genesis searched through the forest.

"You find?" Dalit asked.

"Nothing yet," Genesis texted. "It's a large island. I don't think we'll find anything so easily."

"No excuse!" Dalit insisted. "Find now!"

"Trust me, if I could, I would," Genesis texted as she frowned. "I want to win just as much as you do."

"No! I want win!" Dalit shouted.

"Let's ask those three if they've made any progress," Genesis texted as she gestured towards Kelsey, Mondo, and Naomi.

"Hey! Three!" Dalit called. "You find?!"

"Yeah, we did," Kelsey boasted as she showed her statue to Dalit and Genesis.

"Give I!" Dalit demanded.

"Yeah, no," Kelsey said. "You'll have to come here and take it if you want it so badly."

Dalit screeched at the top of her lungs as she made a dash for Kelsey.

"Ahh!" Naomi squealed as she skated away.

"Naomi! Get back here!" Mondo called as he followed her.

"Forget her! What about me?!" Kelsey called.

Dalit pounced upon Kelsey and pried the statue from her hand.

"Hey! No fair," Kelsey grumbled. "Girl with the phone! Take it back!"

"I don't want to mess with her either," Genesis texted.

"Oh come on!" Kelsey pouted as she began to give chase.

* * *

 **Confessional:Dalit:**

 **Dalit:** I have power! Hahaha!

 **Genesis:** _(She types something on her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I heard that Kelsey literally had her idol handed to her. Easy come, easy go.

 **Kelsey:** This never would have happened if Naomi and Mondo hadn't left me.

 **Mondo:** Yeah, okay, the real reason I left is because I didn't want to have to deal with the crazy slave girl and risk losing my idol. Hey, I never claimed to be an angel.

* * *

Osric and Ursula went to the darkest part of the forest.

"This place is so spooky. I love it," Ursula said with a dark grin.

"I like the smell of the forest, I'll admit," Osric said. "It's different from what I'm used to."

"Have you ever made out in the woods?" Ursula asked with a chuckle.

"Oh, er, uh, no, can't say that I have," Osric said with a blush.

"I have," Ursula said. "One time, my friends and I made our own short film for English class, and we did a horror movie. Good times."

"How... interesting," Osric said.

"Making out in a graveyard at night is the best, though," Ursula said. "My ex-boyfriend and I used to do that all of the time. Aw, I miss him sometimes."

"Why'd you two break up, if I may ask?" Osric asked.

"He thought I was 'too immature'," Ursula said, using air quotes. "Like, I'm still a teenager. Cut me a break."

"Was he... _not_ a teenager?" Osric asked.

"He was, but he was a couple years older than I am," Ursula said. "Ah, who needs him? He doesn't understand Halloween."

"You know, Halloween has always been my favorite holiday," Osric said.

"Really?" Ursula said, intrigued. "We're going to get along, you and I."

"I sure hope so," Osric said under his breath as he bit his lip.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Osric:** I'm into younger girls, and it seems Ursula's into older guys. Things are already looking great. _(He facepalms.)_ No! She's your potential future alliance mate. Not your potential future girlfriend! Although... _(He snickers.)_ No!

 **Ursula:** I think what's-his-face and I are going to get along _great_.

* * *

Bijou and Stormy~ made a return trip down the thousand-foot cliff.

"How could they have _not_ hidden one there?" Bijou asked. "It makes too much sense to _not_ hide one there."

"Maybe that's why they didn't do it," Stormy~ suggested. "Because it made so much sense."

"I can never tell with this game," Bijou huffed.

"Say, do you listen to J-Pop?" Stormy~ asked.

"I don't know who that is," Bijou said.

"Nooo, J-Pop. Japanese pop music," Stormy~ said.

"Oh. No, as a matter of fact, I don't," Bijou stated. "If I listen to music, it's usually Beethoven or Mozart."

"I don't know those genres," Stormy~ said.

Bijou sighed exasperatedly. "No, no. Ludwig van Beethoven and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Two of the greatest composers to ever walk the face of this Earth."

"Now I'm confused," Stormy~ admitted.

"Hey, ladies," Quentin greeted. "I have a question for you two."

"What is it?" Stormy~ asked.

"If you drop soap on the floor, does it get dirty?" Quentin asked. "It's already soap."

"I imagine it would," Stormy~ said. "Soap doesn't clean things unless you get it wet, right?"

"That _does_ make sense," Quentin mused. He fished through his pockets and took out a pink statue. "Here. Take this for being so helpful."

"Thank you! How sweet," Stormy~ gushed.

"Hey! What about me?" Bijou frowned.

"Sorry, that was my last pink idol," Quentin apologized.

"Well at least tell me where you found it so we know where not to look," Bijou said.

"Oh, I found them all in the same bush," Quentin explained. "I've given all the pink ones out already, but if you find Kelsey or Naomi-"

"Come, Stormy~. We have people to find," Bijou stated.

"Sugoi!" Stormy~ exclaimed as she and Bijou ran off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bijou:** Stormy~ earned her idol fair and square, so I won't complain. Doesn't change the fact that I want one as well, and will stop at nothing to find one.

 **Stormy~:** How nice of that boy to give me an idol. I heard people are all really mean in this game, but I guess that's wrong.

* * *

Fauna, Phoenix, and Yolonda searched in their own part of the forest.

"I bet they hid them in places we'd never think to look," Fauna griped.

"Then why don't we look in those places?" Yolonda asked.

"Because I can't think of what those places might be," Fauna replied.

"She has a point," Phoenix nodded.

"See? Thank you," Fauna said, grateful to Phoenix but annoyed with Yolonda.

Just then, Naomi crashed into Fauna.

"Hey! Watch it, whitey!" Fauna snapped.

"More importantly..." Phoenix bent over and picked up the idol Naomi dropped. "Check this out."

"Hey! No fair!" Naomi pouted.

"Oh, so when white people do cultural appropriation, it's okay, but when the spoiled little honky gets her little toy taken, it's the end of the world?" Fauna asked as she swiped the idol from Phoenix.

"What's going on?" Mondo asked as he caught up to the scene.

"Stay out of this!" Fauna barked.

"No, wait, he's got an idol too," Phoenix pointed out.

"I do, but I don't feel particularly inclined to drop it today," Mondo said. "So, if you'll excuse me, I'm returning to the campground with this thing."

Mondo jogged off.

"Mondo! Wait!" Naomi called. "Aww."

"He's got a point. I'm headed to the campground too," Fauna jeered.

"Wait for meeeeee!" Naomi insisted as she got up and skated after Fauna.

This left Phoenix and Yolonda alone in awkward silence.

"That kiss was only to prove a point," Yolonda told him.

"I know," Phoenix said as he adjusted his glasses.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fauna:** That cracker girl needed that little wake-up call. White people can't just expect things to be handed to them anymore. Greedy pigs.

 **Phoenix:** I could have chased after Mondo, but there's no way I was getting that idol out of his hands. I know how to pick my battles.

 **Yolonda:** Eh, getting one of those will put you right into the spotlight, which I'm still hoping to avoid. Probably for the best that I didn't get one.

* * *

Amelie and Ephraim searched the beach under the thousand-foot cliff.

"Are you sure the sharks won't come out of the water and eat us?" Amelie asked.

"I am," Ephraim nodded.

"I saw the previous seasons, you know," Amelie said. "They have a shark with arms and legs."

"If he does show up, I'll make sure you don't get hurt," Ephraim assured her.

"Thank you," Amelie said quietly.

"It's what I do," Ephraim said. "You know, I haven't seen any of the others since the challenge started."

"Maybe they're all at the forest," Amelie said. "I know I saw a few people go there."

"Seems entirely likely," Ephraim agreed. "Hopefully they had the foresight to not put all the idols in there. That'd make things both chaotic and unfair."

"Neither of those things sound very fun," Amelie said.

"I agree," Ephraim said. "Better to be safe from danger but vulnerable for elimination than safe from elimination but vulnerable to danger."

"You said it," Amelie shuddered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ephraim:** I'm mainly here for the experience, because I can't think of anything I really need to buy all that much, but Amelie wants the money. I'm not going to hold her hand throughout the game, but maybe I'll give her a few pushes until she can start to hold her own.

 **Amelie:** Beaches are scary. They have things like crabs and jellyfish and sharks and seaweed! Okay, seaweed doesn't sound all that scary... but it looks weird when it's washed ashore, and it creeps me out.

* * *

Cordelia, Jasper, and Vardaman searched under the Dock of Shame.

"So, what do you guys think the teams will be like?" Cordelia asked.

"I dunno," Vardaman admitted. "Did Chris say anythin' about teams?"

"Well there would have to be teams," Jasper said. "There always are."

"Maybe he's lookin' to shake things up and there won't be any teams this season," Vardaman mentioned.

"With 26 people?" Cordelia asked. "That seems like a _really_ big merge.'

"Besides, eliminating one boy and one girl specifically is just too neat for there to _not_ be teams," Jasper added. "I'm thinking two teams of twelve or three teams of eight after the elimination."

"Ooh, I like that," Cordelia said. "I hope we end up on the same team."

"Could happen," Vardaman said. "Large numbers n' all, it seems likely we'd end up on the same team."

"Imagine if we all ended up on separate teams!" Jasper said melodramatically. "Wouldn't that just be the _worst_?"

"Definitely the worst," Cordelia agreed.

"Well, I don't think we're havin' any luck 'round here," Vardaman said. "Maybe we should search elsewhere."

"Good idea," Jasper agreed. "Beauty, brains, and brawns. Total package, this one."

Cordelia and Jasper giggled while Vardaman tipped the brim of his hat over his eyes.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Look, I don't want to tell him who he can and can't like, but I also don't feel comfortable with him flirtin' with me. What should I do?

 **Jasper:** He just makes it too much fun. _(He chuckles.)_

 **Cordelia:** If I were separated from those two, I would die. I would literally die.

* * *

Zarardo searched on a different part of the beach while Warwick build a sand castle.

"Behold, The Sandy Keep!" Warwick declared.

"As your advisor, I'd recommend helping me search," Zarardo stated. "Two sets of hands work faster than one."

"Ah, but too many cooks spoil the broth," Warwick retorted. "Besides, doing the dirty work is your job."

"At least get rid of the sand castle," Zarardo said.

"What?! How could you even _suggest_ such a thing?!" Warwick gasped.

"You could have built a sand castle on top of an idol," Zarardo told him.

"Please. Who would do that?" Warwick scoffed.

"With all due respect, Your Majesty, taking the sand castle down could be your only chance of winning this challenge," Zarardo said patiently.

"Hm, it's a risky move..." Warwick thought aloud. "What do you think?"

"I think you should do it," Zarardo said flatly.

"Then do it I shall!" Warwick declared. He kicked the sand castle down.

Zarardo began to dig where the sand castle once was. There was nothing there.

"Ah! There's nothing there!" Warwick gasped. "You are the worst advisor ever."

"I'll see to it that I do better in the future," Zarardo said.

"Please do," Warwick huffed as he crossed his arms.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Zarardo is likely just new at the whole "advisor" thing. I'm sure he'll get the hang of it as time goes on.

 **Zarardo:** Warwick is childish, sure, but I'm a patient guy. If I just tell him what he wants to hear, it'll make him trust me, which, in return, will make him believe anything I tell him. _Anything_.

* * *

Hugh and Ronoc climbed to the top of Mt. Looming Disaster.

"Well, we've made it," Hugh panted. "And there's nothing freakin' here. Nice idea to search here, artard."

"Oh, I knew there was nothing here," Ronoc chuckled as he took a puff of his cigar.

"What?! Then why suggest it in the first place?!" Hugh snapped.

"I wanted to lead you as far away from the statues as possible," Ronoc grinned.

"Why on Earth would you do that?!" Hugh shouted.

"You're not meant to find one," Ronoc stated.

"Says who?" Hugh challenged.

"Says the author," Ronoc said. "Trust me, you're not going to need one."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hugh asked.

"You'll see," Ronoc shrugged as he puffed on his cigar. "Wouldn't want to give any spoilers, would we?"

"Would it be a spoiler alert if I told you I was about to push you down the mountain?" Hugh threatened.

"No, because you're not going to," Ronoc said, unfazed.

Hugh clenched his fists, but did nothing more.

"...I hate you," Hugh said.

"I don't blame you," Ronoc said. "I have been fairly N-toned in this episode."

"Well, I'm going to go find a statue," Hugh grunted. "Don't follow me."

"Don't worry, I won't," Ronoc assured him.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ronoc:** Hey, at least the author knows he can be a jerk sometimes. Not that this has anything to do with me, of course. Because it doesn't. _(He puffs on his cigar.)_

 **Hugh:** I wonder how much bad boy cred I'd get if I beat him and up took his sunglasses as proof of my victory. Definitely something worth looking into.

* * *

Quentin continued to stroll through the forest.

"I'm surprised I haven't found anyone else since those girls," Quentin mused. "Not even a bird."

"What about me?" Ronoc asked as he appeared not far from Quentin.

"Oh, hey," Quentin said. "You're in luck. I have two male Invincibility Statues. Want one?"

"Sure," Ronoc smirked as he accepting Quentin's gift. "I appreciate it."

"No problem, man," Quentin smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ronoc:** Hey, I only said Hugh wasn't getting one. Never said anything about myself.

 **Quentin:** Guess I should head back to the campground now that I've handed out all the other idols.

* * *

Fauna and Mondo both made it to the campground with their idols in hand.

"Chris! I made it!" Fauna called.

"We both made it," Mondo pointed out.

"People _only_ care about the accomplishments of white people, don't they?" Fauna snapped at Mondo.

"Congratulations, Mondo and Fauna," Chris said as he exited the mess hall. "You both have returned with the correctly-colored statue, and, as such, will be invincible in tonight's votes.

"Waiiiiiit!" Naomi called as she skated on-scene. She tried to brake on her skates, but ended up falling on her face. "That was my idol."

"Well Fauna's the one who brought it back," Chris shrugged. "Hate to break it to you, but you'll have to find another one if you want to win."

"Aw, fudgesicles," Naomi pouted as she stood up and skated off again.

Chris approached the intercom and spoke into it.

"Attention, campers!" Chris announced. "Fauna and Mondo have returned with statues. That means two guy statues and two girl statues left."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fauna:** It's about time a black girl comes out at the very top. When was the last time that happened? Exactly.

 **Mondo:** Feels good to be immune. Some may call my tactics in this challenge cowardly, but I see it more as pragmatic. I had an idol, and I wanted to make sure I was able to keep it. I think more of you would have done the same than you'd care to admit.

* * *

Dalit and Genesis continued to run away from Kelsey.

"I keep wood head," Dalit insisted. "No one take."

Genesis looked behind her to see that Kelsey was no longer there.

"I think she's gone," Genesis texted.

"Good. Now I safe," Dalit boasted.

"I have an idea, if I may," Genesis texted.

"What is it, slave?" Dalit scowled.

"What if I held on to your wood head for you?" Genesis texted. "I'll make sure it stays safe."

"You make wood head safe?" Dalit asked.

"I promise," Genesis texted with a smile.

"Okay," Dalit said as she handed Genesis the statue.

"Excellent," Genesis texted. "Now let's go back to camp so we can secure your win."

"I win!" Dalit repeated.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types something on her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Dalit's poor English, plus the fact that she actually fell for that, leads me to believe that she may, in fact, have been born yesterday.

 **Dalit:** Purple shirt good slave. I may keep her.

* * *

Lester and Xingrong continued to wander.

"It's been _how_ long and we've made no progress?" Lester asked.

"Time is irrelevant to those who can never die," Xingrong stated. "You are asking the wrong individual."

"The _Xing_ rong individual?" Lester joked. "Eh? Eh? No?"

"If you _dare_ take my name in vain again, I'll introduce you to my toothpick collection," Xingrong threatened. "You shall be pierced by the spears of a thousand harvested trees until-!"

"Okay, you need to stop," Bijou said as she and Stormy~ walked on scene.

"Who do you think you are, telling a dark angel what to do?!" Xingrong shouted.

"Oh, you're a dark angel? That changes everything," Stormy~ said as she nudged Bijou.

Bijou sighed. "It does. I'm sorry," she said through her teeth.

"Yo, is that one of the statues we're looking for?" Lester asked Stormy~.

"It is!" Stormy~ beamed. "That boy in the yellow jacket gave it to me."

"That must be Quentin," Lester told Xingrong.

"I realize who she was referring to," Xingrong told him back.

"Hey, didn't Chris say that you'll win the challenge as soon as you bring a statue back?" Lester asked. "Why don't you go do that?"

"I was going to help Bijou find one," Stormy~ said.

"Eh, I can hold my own," Bijou said. "Go claim your win."

"Really? Thank you," Stormy~ chirped as she ran for the campground.

"So..." Lester said. "How _you_ doin'?" He winked at Bijou.

Bijou burst into laughter.

"This is good, right?" Lester whispered to Xingrong. "Girls like guys who can make them laugh, right?"

"Again, you ask the incorrect individual," Xingrong told him.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Stormy~:** How cool is it that I win my very first challenge? Totemo ureshii deeeeesu!

 **Bijou:** That boy thinks he has a chance with _me_?! Ohoho... I haven't laughed that hard in some time.

 **Lester:** I probably just need to hang out with her a bunch. Then here tsundere will drop and she'll give me a heartfelt speech about how much she's always loved me. That's how it usually works, right?

 **Xingrong:** I have no time for love! Not when there are culinary discoveries to be made!

* * *

Just then, Quentin and Ronoc made it to the campground.

"Attention, campers!" Chris spoke into the intercom. "Quentin and Ronoc have returned with statues! If you're a guy, you may as well head back to camp, because there's no chance of you winning this challenge!"

"Well done," Mondo complimented the boys.

"Nice going, Quentin," Fauna said. "Score one for the POC."

"Oh, Fauna, you card," Ronoc chuckled condescendingly as he puffed his cigar.

"Want me to kick your ass?" Fauna threatened him.

"Eh, you're not the first one to tell me that today," Ronoc said. "Doesn't really scare me."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ronoc:** _(One lens of his sunglasses is broken and he has a black eye.)_ And that, boys and girls, was me tempting fate.

 **Quentin:** I don't see why we can't all just get along. Life would be so much easier if that was the case.

* * *

As the boys made their way back to the campground, Dalit, Genesis, and Stormy~ returned as well.

"Attention campers!" Chris announced over intercom. "Genesis and Stormy~ have returned with statues. This challenge is now over! Ladies, return to the campground ASAP!"

"Wait!" Dalit said. "My idol!"

"Genesis is the one who brought it back. Not you," Chris said. "Meaning she's got Invincibility tonight and she gets to keep the statue."

"No! No fair!" Dalit shouted. She turned to Genesis. "I beat you!"

"You will do no such thing," Ephraim said as he appeared behind Dalit and lifted her up by the back of her collar.

"Let go! I beat her!" Dalit insisted.

"Yo, did I hear my boy Quentin found an idol?" Lester asked as he, Xingrong, and Bijou arrived. "Way to go, man. You really put the pussy on the chainwax!"

"What did you just say?!" Fauna snapped.

"'Put the pussy on the chainwax'," Lester said. "It means-"

"I _know_ what it means!" Fauna shouted. "Why the hell do _you_ know what it means?!"

"Alright, I admit it, I got it from Key and Peele," Lester confessed. "But Mo and I are trying to make it more of a thing."

"The hell you doing watching Key and Peele?" Fauna asked.

"Um, they're funny?" Lester asked.

"The hell's a white boy doing watching it?" Fauna continued.

"Uh, they're white too," Lester pointed out. "Half-white, at least. So they're just as white as they are black." He turned to the camera. "Get a load of this chick, am I right?"

"Why you!" Fauna shouted.

"Now, now," Phoenix stopped her as he and Yolonda appeared. "Don't do anything rash."

"Fine. But at least vote him out!" Fauna ordered.

"I'll vote for him. I can promise no more," Phoenix stated.

"Guess who just fought a bear for nothing?" Isidora said as she and Tori arrived, the latter with visible scratch marks.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** Fauna is very impulsive. I guess she'll need someone to keep her in line. Perhaps if I do so, it could help me in the long run.

 **Dalit:** Slave cheated! No fair!

 **Genesis:** _(She types something on her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Oh, I didn't know that's what would happen. I'm ever so sorry. _(She silently chuckles.)_

 **Tori:** The bear put up more of a fight than I'd thought.

* * *

After a while, everyone had returned to the campsite.

"Alright, here's how it's going to work," Chris said. "Lindsay's waiting at the bonfire pit. Ladies, your elimination will be held there. Guys, stay here with me. Your elimination ceremonies start right now, so let's get going."

"Wait, _right now_ , right now?" Warwick gasped.

"Brutal," Ursula chuckled.

"Yeah, let's get to it, people!" Chris said impatiently as he clapped his hands twice to signal the campers to hurry up.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Didn't think we'd have no time to strategize. Hope I don't make the wrong choice.

 **Yolonda:** Fauna and I agreed on who to vote for on the way to the ceremony. So I guess Chris didn't think that part through.

 **Hugh:** This is bullroar. How did Jerkass the Ginger get an idol and I didn't?! It makes no sense!

 **Kelsey:** I still can't believe I came up empty-handed. I'd have won, too, if I hadn't been cheated out of my Invincibility Statue. Hmph.

* * *

Chris revealed a platter of twelve marshmallows as the boys sat down in the mess hall.

"Welcome, men of Total Drama Alpha Party, to your first elimination," Chris said. "Here's how it'll work. On the tables, you'll, find pens and papers. You'll use these to cast your votes. Just write the name of the person you want gone, and select him. It's not rocket science."

The boys each cast their votes. Chris, with the papers in hand, had the results.

"Alright, all the votes are in," Chris smiled. "When I call your name, come up and claim a marshmallow. The one of you who doesn't receive a marshmallow must meet your fellow female loser on the Dock of Shame."

"Come on, man. The suspense is killing me," Osric coaxed.

"Well, since you're so eager, Osric, you can get the first marshmallow. You received no votes," Chris said.

"Nice!" Osric grinned.

"Also with no votes..."

"Quentin."

"Ronoc."

"Mondo."

"Ephraim."

"Zarardo."

"Vardaman."

Hugh, Jasper, Lester, Vardaman, Warwick, and Xingrong each sat without marshmallows.

"Now, each of you received at least one vote," Chris said. "The following two of you got one vote, and are safe:"

"Jasper."

"Warwick."

Hugh, Lester, Vardaman, and Xingrong each sat, awaiting Chris's next call.

"The next two names I'm going to call each received two votes," Chris said.

"Vardaman."

"Xingrong."

Hugh and Lester sat in wait of Chris's final call.

"Hugh... Lester... one of you received four votes. The other received only three," Chris said. "The one who received three votes and is safe is..."

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"...Hugh," Chris finally said.

"Tch. I'd better be safe," Hugh sneered.

"Wait, so that means...?" Lester asked.

"Game over, Lester," Chris said.

"For real?" Lester asked. "I don't get any continues?"

"'Fraid not," Chris said. "Everyone, head outside. The female elimination should also be done about now."

* * *

Meanwhile, at the bonfire pit, Lindsay hosted the girls' elimination.

"Okay, so, um, I'm kind of new to this, so bear with me," Lindsay said. "But, the basic thing is that if I give you a marshmallow, it means you're safe, but if I don't, you're voted out."

"Do we get to vote?" Kelsey asked.

"Oh, right," Lindsay said. "Um... You should find pens and papers at your seat. Write the name of the person you want gone on your paper, and then show me. I'll keep track, and then hand out marshmallows from there."

"That's probably the most ghetto thing I've heard in my entire life," Isidora remarked.

Fauna opened her mouth, but Isidora interrupted her.

"If you have a problem, vote me out," Isidora said dryly.

After some time, the girls cast their votes.

"Okay, so, these people didn't get any votes," Lindsay said.

"Fauna."

"Genesis."

"Stormy~."

"Amelie."

"Tori."

"Cordelia."

"Yolonda."

"Isidora."

Bijou, Dalit, Kelsey, Naomi, and Ursula sat without marshmallows.

"Bijou only got one vote, so she's safe too," Lindsay said.

"Of course I do," Bijou stated as she claimed her marshmallow.

Dalit, Kelsey, Naomi, and Ursula sat in wait.

"The next couple people I call only got two votes," Lindsay said.

"Naomi."

"Ursula."

Dalit and Kelsey both sat in anticipation for Lindsay's final call.

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"Kelsey, you only got three votes, so you're safe," Lindsay finally said.

"As expected," Kelsey said smugly.

"Sorry, Dalit. You've been voted out," Lindsay said.

"I no understand," Dalit said, worried.

"You go bye-bye," Kelsey said. "Savage," she added under her breath.

"What?! No!" Dalit shouted. "I have power! I no slave!"

"I'll take over from here," Chris said as he and the boys arrived at the scene. "Lester, Dalit, and anyone who wants to see these two off, follow me to the Dock of Shame."

* * *

Chris, Dalit, Lester, Genesis, and Quentin all went to the Dock of Shame.

"Isn't there usually a Boat of Losers?" Quentin asked.

"Not this season," Chris said as he took a remote control from his pocket and pushed a button.

Just then, a large, black, metal box arose from under the water. Its doors opened up to reveal the interior of an elevator, with the word "Fail" in hot-pink spray paint on the back wall of said interior.

"This... is the Elevator of Losers!" Chris announced. "This will take our losers to a new subterranean spot for those voted off. It's entirely watertight, so there's no chance of it flooding."

"So there's no Neo Playa des Losers?" Genesis texted, her eyebrows raised.

"Nope. Way too expensive," Chris said with a big grin. "Anyway, best say your goodbyes before I send Lester and Dalit off!"

"See you, bud," Quentin said to Lester.

"Yeah, this sucks," Lester said. "Now viewership for this season is going to decrease by three hundred and twenty seven."

"That's quite specific," Quentin pointed out.

"That's the number of subscribers I have," Lester said. "So... now what?"

"I don't know," Quentin said. "The elevator thing is new."

"Well, wish me luck," Lester said.

"Good luck," Quentin smiled.

Meanwhile, Genesis wasn't nearly as nice to Dalit.

"It will be such a shame to see you go," Genesis texted with a wry grin.

"You lie!" Dalit shouted. "You trick me!"

"You can't prove that," Genesis texted.

"I hate you!" Dalit cried. "You take power from I!"

"You gave it to me," Genesis texted nonchalantly. "You only have yourself to blame."

"No, no, no!" Dalit cried as she stomped.

"Let's get this done, shall we?" Chris asked. "Genesis, Quentin, you can head to bed."

Genesis and Quentin left the Dock of Shame.

"Uh, ladies first?" Lester offered Dalit nervously as he gestured at the Elevator nervously.

"You nice. Much better than purple shirt slave." Dalit scowled as she stepped on the elevator, followed by Lester."

"Dalit, you've finished the game in 26th place," Chris said. "Lester, you've finished in 25th."

"Well hey, I'm not last," Lester said. "That's cool, I guess."

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on his remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater.

"It's only been one episode, and we're already two down!" Chris said to the camera.

"And next episode, we get our teams!" Lindsay added as she arrived on scene.

"What sort of drama will unfold when that happens?" Chris asked.

"How will people react to the eliminations?" Lindsay asked.

"I can hardly wait to find out myself," Chris beamed.

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Ephraim:** That Hugh kid seems like the type to start all kinds of trouble, and that's not the kind of person I want to stay in this game, so I voted for him.

 **Hugh:** Ugh... I couldn't vote Ronoc, so I voted Jasper. He's exhaustingly gay. Like, Mondo's gay too, but he's not an artard about it.

 **Jasper:** You know what, I voted Vardaman, just to mess with him some more. It's not like he was a target, so why not?

 **Lester:** I'm probably going to vote for Dr. Farmer. He's probably the most boring character here, if you ask me.

 **Mondo:** I voted for Lester, since he seemed like a social threat. Apparently I was wrong, since he ended up leaving, but hey, whatever works.

 **Osric:** I voted Lester, since he didn't seem like he was really taking the game all that seriously. I want to play with people who try.

 **Phoenix:** Fauna wants Lester gone, so I guess I voted for him. She'll be happy to hear how the vote turned out.

 **Quentin:** I voted for Hugh. Of everyone here, he seems like the most likely to not get along with people, you know?

 **Ronoc:** It was Lester's time to go, so I voted for him. Simple as that.

 **Vardaman:** I voted for Hugh. I know it ain't really my place to judge, but he seems like a bit of a punk.

 **Warwick:** I cast my vote for Xingrong, for he dared to challenge my rule! This will show him!

 **Xingrong:** My accursed vote found itself damning the one known as Warwick, for having the audacity to try and steal my lone bunk.

 **Zarardo:** Warwick insisted we vote for Xingrong, so that's what I did. No sense in stirring the pot... yet.

 **Amelie:** Dalit frightened me, so I voted for her. It takes a load off my mind that she's gone.

 **Bijou:** Ursula is simply a cur, which is why she received my vote. I told her I'd vote for her, and I am not dishonest by any stretch.

 **Cordelia:** Dalit doesn't seem very friendly, so that's why I voted her off.

 **Dalit:** I want fat girl white shirt leave! She try take power!

 **Fauna:** If that white-ass Kelsey bitch thinks she can take control of _anyone_ , she has another thing coming. That's why I voted for her, but some good that did.

 **Genesis:** _(She types something on her phone. The phone speaks.)_ My vote went to Dalit. I don't like her one bit, and I'm glad she left.

 **Isidora:** I don't really know anyone here, but that skater girl... Naomi, I think, she kind of annoys me, so I voted for her.

 **Kelsey:** Dalit challenged my authority, which is the Total Drama equivalent of a deathwish. That's why I voted for her.

 **Naomi:** That Dalit girl was kind of loud and bossy, and I thought everyone was going to vote for her, so it only made sense that I do the same.

 **Stormy~:** Bijou wanted me to vote for Ursula. Not sure why, but I figured she knew best.

 **Tori:** Neither Isidora nor I know much of the others, so Isidora said we might as well vote Naomi.

 **Ursula:** I voted Bijou. She said she'd vote for me, so I voted for her, right? You coax an axe murderer, you get axe murdered.

 **Yolonda:** Fauna insisted I vote for Kelsey, and yeah, she's someone I'd like to see gone, so I went along with it.

* * *

 _A/N: And there's the double boot! Were you guys surprised by who left? I wasn't, but then that's probably to be expected._

 _Dalit was meant to be a bit of a fakeout, as someone with a bit of a negative backstory, ending up leaving first by virtue of her own terrible social skills. She had mixed reception at best, but overall I don't think she'll be missed terribly._

 _Lester ended up being a lot more popular than I expected, at least by the standards of the one chapter's feedback I got. I'll admit, I did have fun writing him, but I simply had nowhere in the story for him, so I let him be a fun, lulzy early boot. Sorry to his fans._

 _As for why Dalit placed 26th and Lester placed 25th, that's simply because Dalit entered the elevator first. No major reason why I made her in last place, but I figured a way to clarify their placements officially would be nice._


	3. Ep 02: Smash, Cut, n' Cover

_A/N: Not much for me to say. The Alpha Party section of the House Party page on TVTropes is looking a bit bare. Just a thought. Nudge nudge, wink wink._

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, our twenty-six campers went on a scavenger hunt," Chris recalled. "Which would be a lot more dramatic if _someone_ had thought to hide all the hidden statues in different places."

"I said I was sorry," Lindsay pouted.

"Quentin was the one to find all the statues, and opted to take them all and give the ones he didn't need to other people," Chris continued. "Of course, after they left his possession, a number of them found themselves being fought over by some people."

"It got a bit violent for just a statue," Lindsay said.

"Keep in mind that those statues are basically an extra life in this game," Chris reminded her. "Very important."

"I guess that makes sense," Lindsay nodded.

"The six who returned to the campground with statues were Quentin, Fauna, Mondo, Stormy~, Ronoc, and Genesis," Chris stated. "No doubt these six Invincibility Statues will play a huge role in this game."

"I can't wait!" Lindsay said excitedly.

"There were two eliminations that night: one for the boys and one for the girls," Chris continued. "The girls voted out Dalit for her demanding attitude and terrible social game, while the boys voted out Lester for... well, a number of reasons."

"I still can't believe it's only episode two and two people are already gone," Lindsay thought aloud.

"Hey, we had to stay in line with the 26-episode format," Chris said. "The longer seasons got better ratings."

"Huh. Who would have guessed?" Lindsay said.

"We also introduced the Elevator of Losers!" Chris said excitedly. "Meaning Dalit and Lester were the first people ever to take the ride!"

"Didn't you test it?!" Lindsay gasped.

"Pssh. Of _course_ I did," Chris said unconvincingly. He winced as his shock collar went off. "Dalit and Lester tested it, obviously."

Lindsay gave Chris a disappointed frown.

"Anyway, today's the day we split the campers into teams!" Chris announced. "How will team dynamics affect the strategies of our campers? Find out, right here, on Total!"

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

Chris stood at the campground, next to the totem pole. He took a megaphone and began to shout into it.

"Up and at 'em, campers!" Chris called. "It's time for a very important meeting! Seriously, you're not going to want to miss this one!"

This was met by groans from the campers in both cabins.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Uggggggggggggggggggh...

 **Amelie:** That was the scariest thing I've ever had to wake up to. Well, minus the occasional nightmare, but that's a given.

 **Vardaman:** How nice of Chris to let us sleep in. I mean it. I'm usually up for a couple hours by this point.

 **Bijou:** I hope you don't expect some cliche complaint about needing my beauty sleep. I choose to think that I am above that.

* * *

As the contestants filed out of the cabins, all still in their pajamas, they found Chris with a sheet of paper in his hand.

"Hey, what's on the paper?" Naomi asked as she skated up to Chris.

"You slept in your skates?" Phoenix asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Of course," Naomi said.

"You should have seen her trying to get into bed," Ursula chuckled. "She insisted on a top bunk."

"Is that what that crashing sound we kept hearing last night was?" Quentin asked curiously.

"No, that was just Kelsey banging her head against the wall in frustration," Isidora said flatly as she arrived.

"Alright, looks to me like you're all here," Chris said. "Anyone want to guess what's about to happen?"

"We get our teams?!" Cordelia asked excitedly.

"That's right, Cordelia!" Chris confirmed. "Lindsay and I were up all night coming up with your teams. Now, I'm going to call your names one by one. As I do, follow my instructions."

"I _invented_ instructions!" Warwick insisted.

"Amelie, stand to my right," Chris said.

Amelie stood to Chris's left.

" _My_ right. Your left," Chris corrected.

"Oh. Sorry. Please don't hurt me," Amelie squeaked as she moved.

"Couldn't even if I wanted to," Chris said as he scratched at his shock collar.

"Bijou, to the left with Amelie. Cordelia and Ephraim, join her as well," Chris said.

"Looks like we're on the same team," Ephraim told Amelie.

"That's a relief," Amelie said with a small smile.

"Fauna, stand to my left. Your right," Chris said.

"I know what you meant," Fauna spat. "Just because I'm black doesn't mean I'm stupid."

"Genesis, join Fauna," Chris continued.

"Well, at least my team's looking well so far," Fauna said as Genesis joined her.

"Guess there really are two teams this season," Jasper remarked to Vardaman.

"Hugh, you're with this larger group," Chris said as he gestured to his right. "Isidora, you're with the smaller group," he added as he gestured to his left.

"I trust there won't be any issues," Ephraim told Hugh.

"I trust you'll shut up," Hugh responded rudely.

"I guess no team is perfect," Fauna huffed.

"If only you weren't here, maybe it would be," Isidora quipped.

"You know what?!" Fauna snapped.

"Jasper, Kelsey, Mondo, on my right! " Chris interrupted.

"Good to know we're on the same team," Kelsey told Mondo.

"Cordy!" Jasper squealed as he ran up to Cordelia and hugged her.

"Yaaaay! We're on the same team!" Cordelia cheered.

"Naomi, Osric, Phoenix, you're on my left," Chris continued.

"How fortunate that Chris didn't split us up," Osric told Genesis, who nodded in response.

"Quentin, to my right. Ronoc, to my left," Chris instructed.

"I'm liking the look of my team already," Quentin and Ronoc said in unison. Quentin looked to Ronoc with surprise, while Ronoc just chuckled to himself.

"Stormy~, to my right. Tori, to my right," Chris continued. "Ursula, to my left. Vardaman, finish up the group on my right."

"Hmm..." Tori said thoughtfully as she glanced at Isidora on the other team.

"Vardy!" Cordelia clapped as Vardaman joined the group.

Jasper patted Vardaman on the bottom, causing him to blush in embarrassment.

"And, Warwick, Xingrong, Yolonda, and Zarardo, you're all on my left," Chris concluded.

"I believe you have chosen to put me on the incorrect team!" Xingrong insisted. "My apprentice is on the other team, while my rival is on this one!"

"Yeah, no, I knew what I was doing," Chris grinned. "These teams were chosen based on interactions you've had with the contestants, as well as making sure that each team got six boys, six girls, and three statue-holders. It's about as fair as fair can get."

"Is that why our team has all the muscle?" Mondo smirked.

"Anyway..." Chris said, slightly annoyed. "The team on my right: Amelie, Bijou, Cordelia, Ephraim, Hugh, Jasper, Kelsey, Mondo, Quentin, Stormy~, Tori, and Vardaman. You will be known as the Screaming Italics!"

Lindsay walked on scene and tossed Vardaman a green banner, which unfurled to reveal an emblem sporting an italicized green letter I.

"The team on my left: Fauna, Genesis, Isidora, Naomi, Osric, Phoenix, Ronoc, Ursula, Warwick, Xingrong, Yolonda, and Zarardo," Chris said to the other group. "You will be known as the Killer Boldface!"

Lindsay tossed Naomi a red banner, which unfurled to reveal an emblem sporting a bold red letter B.

"Why the typography-based team names?" Osric asked.

"I felt like it went with the 'all of your names start with a different letter of the alphabet' thing," Chris shrugged. "Besides, it brings back the Screaming vs. Killer thing and it keeps up the green and red teams trend."

"Wait, all our names start with a different letter of the alphabet?" Quentin asked. He moved his finger repeatedly as if he were mentally sorting everyone's names. "Oh my gosh, you're right. I hadn't even noticed that."

"Really?" Chris asked flatly. "Why did you think this was called _Alpha_ Party?"

"Because, you know, alpha. The first Greek letter. Represents new beginnings," Quentin said. "I don't know. It made sense to me."

"Well, team separation is all I had for you right now," Chris said. "You are now free to do as you please until the challenge starts."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I know like nobody on my team. Joy.

 **Stormy~:** It's a good thing I'm on the same team as Bijou. Otherwise I would be a little bit lost.

 **Zarardo:** I could not have been luckier in sharing a team with Warwick. He's someone I want closeby as far as alliances go.

 **Jasper:** Ooh, looks like the gang's all here. Cordelia's here to help me look like someone to keep around, and Vardaman's here so I can entertain myself by messing with him. How fun.

* * *

Genesis, Osric, and Ursula met up in the forest.

"Alright, first order of business, I'd like to add Ursula to our alliance," Osric offered.

"I am fine with this," Genesis texted. "Nice call on picking a non-white teammate. This should weaken Fauna's influence."

"Oh, er, that hadn't really occurred to me, but, that is true," Osric thought aloud.

"Aw, is Fauna that one girl who keeps saying white people are the devil or something?" Ursula gagged. "I can't stand her. I wouldn't align with _her_ even if she asked."

"That's the one," Osric nodded. "Though Genesis raises a good point. I'm thinking we should add two more people to our alliance, but we should leave the other white people out."

"That would mean our possibilities are Xingrong and Zarardo," Genesis texted. "Assuming Fauna, Phoenix, and Yolonda stick together."

"I dunno, man. Xingrong doesn't seem like the alliance type," Ursula said. "He does seem totally insane though. Which is awesome."

"Perhaps one of us should speak with Zarardo at some point in the near future about it," Osric decided.

"Heeeeeeey guys," Naomi said with a wave as she skated up to and around the trio. "Whatcha doing? I'm skating. I think I'm getting the hang of i- whoah!"

Just as Naomi said that, she lost her balance and fell onto her bum.

Osric glanced at Genesis and Ursula. "You know, if we chose alliance members based on race alone, we'd be no better than Fauna," he said.

"Aw, good point," Ursula agreed.

"So what you're saying is we should add Naomi to our alliance?" Genesis texted.

"Cool, an alliance?" Naomi asked as she stood back up. "You can count me in!"

"I'm for it if you guys are," Osric said with a grin.

"I'm cool with it," Ursula said.

"As am I," Genesis texted.

"In that case, welcome to the alliance, Naomi," Osric greeted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Osric:** And just when I thought this alliance couldn't get any better, we add a nice set of legs to it. I-I mean... one of us should talk to Zarardo at some point in the near future. About the alliance.

 **Ursula:** It's like, how messed up in the head do you have to be to take sandwiches of all things so seriously? I wonder what goes on inside that fool's mind sometimes, you know?

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ There is a distinct possibility that I am the smartest member of our alliance, and I am perfectly okay with nobody knowing that.

 **Naomi:** So I'm taking a casual skate through the forest, and before I know it, I'm in an alliance? Cool! I wonder what other surprises await me on this adventure of adventureness!

* * *

Kelsey and Mondo met up together in the girls' cabin.

"Alright, our alliance meeting has officially begun," Kelsey declared.

"Is Naomi not a part of this alliance?" Mondo asked.

"I don't see how she could be, seeing as how she's on the other team," Kelsey said.

"Fair point," Mondo nodded.

"Our first order of business: expansion," Kelsey stated. "Is there anyone on this team you'd like to join our alliance?"

"You're asking me?" Mondo asked, somewhat surprised.

"I plan on being a good leader," Kelsey said. "I've always said: a boss sits back and orders people around. A leader puts themselves on equal ground as the people, while still pushing them to excel."

"That's an interesting way to put it," Mondo replied. "In that case, I have a good feeling about Bijou and Stormy~."

"Yeah, I think Bijou definitely knows what she's doing," Kelsey agreed. "Problem is: will she speak with us?"

"I think she's the type who expects us to come to her," Mondo said. "Of course,she also strikes me as the type who would want to be be the leader."

"Well, I can't have that," Kelsey said with her arms crossed. "So I suppose those two are out."

"I would suggest Cordelia and Vardaman, but..." Mondo started.

"But?" Kelsey asked.

"They're both friends with Jasper, and Jasper's someone I definitely _don't_ want in the alliance.

Just then, Tori walked into the cabin.

"Is he allowed in here?" she asked.

"Don't worry. I play on your team," Mondo assured her.

"The cabins are separated by gender, not by team," Tori stated.

"Let's continue discussing this later," Kelsey suggested.

"Good call. I'll go run a lap around the island," Mondo said as he got up and left.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kelsey:** I think I've said this before, but I don't feel comfortable letting anyone other than me lead. Now I just need to decide if I should get rid of anyone smart enough to challenge me, or keep them so I don't go insane having to deal with all the not-so-smart people.

 **Mondo:** An alliance is a proven method to make it to the endgame, and I think I'm lucky enough to be in one with one of the most driven people in this game. That first-place win will be mine before you know it.

 **Tori:** A lap around the island? Child's play. If you need me, I'll be having a rematch with that bear.

* * *

Xingrong led Quentin to the mess hall.

"Aren't we on different teams now?" Quentin asked. "Are you sure you can still teach me?"

"Fwahahahaha!" Xingrong guffawed. "The boundaries of teams in a game do not apply when it comes to Wichmastery! All can and shall learn the craft!"

"I mean, if you say so," Quentin shrugged.

As the two boys entered the mess hall itself, they were surprised to see twenty-four plates arranged on the tables, each with a slice of toast and some scrambled eggs.

"Well that was easy," Quentin smiled.

"Who is responsible for this?!" Xingrong gasped.

"Oh, hey," Yolonda said as she exited the kitchen. "Xingrong and Quentin, right?"

"That's right," Quentin confirmed. "And you're Yolonda."

"And just what do you think you're doing?!" Xingrong snapped at her.

"Um, fixing everyone breakfast?" Yolonda responded.

"You're using up all the bread! And the eggs!" Xingrong bellowed. "How am I supposed to teach my disciple the ways of the egg salad sandwich when you are casting my ingredients away so liberally for your own devices?!"

"Well what am I supposed to do?" Yolonda asked. "If I fixed everyone cereal, it'd get soggy by the time most people got to eat it."

"If you think you must prepare food for everyone, then you are sorely mistaken," Xingrong scoffed. "Why bother when your food cannot compare with my sandwiches?"

"Is that a challenge?" Yolonda asked.

"It is a statement," Xingrong stated. "Your food is simply inferior to mine. That's simply the way of the world _and_ the worlds beyond."

"Well, if I'm ever in the worlds beyond, I'll be sure to keep that in mind," Yolonda said with a roll of her eyes as she left the mess hall. "Spreads for your toast are on the tables."

"Well she seems nice," Quentin said. Xingrong growled with fury.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Xingrong:** I came here on a mission to teach the lost souls of this Earth the proper way to create a sandwich, the way the dark gods intended. and this mortal girl thinks she can prevent that? Something must be done about her. Perhaps I shall spread a rumor about her to our team so they will be inclined to vote her out. Yes, that is satisfactory!

 **Yolonda:** What can I say? I'm still a chef at heart. Besides, if I cook for everyone, I feel like people will be less inclined to vote me out. Which I think is more than Shouty McBLT can say.

 **Quentin:** It's nice to see people bond over common interests.

* * *

Amelie and Ephraim met up at the beach.

"Alright, your first lesson beings now," Ephraim stated.

"Lesson? What lesson? Are you going to fight me? I don't know martial arts. That's racist. I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me," Amelie said quickly.

Ephraim held his hand up, signalling Amelie to stop talking.

"I'm going to give you lessons on how to be less... afraid all the time," Ephraim told her calmly.

"Oh, really? Thank you thank you thank you!" Amelie responded with a smile. "This is exactly what my daddy wants."

"Your daddy?" Ephraim asked.

"It was his idea that I go on this show," Amelie explained. "He wants me to be less of a coward."

"That's a bit of a strong word," Ephraim said.

"Well, it's true, isn't it?" Amelie pointed out. "I'm a coward."

"Well, let this be our first lesson," Ephraim stated.

He took Amelie by the hand and led her to the shoreline, where the waves touched the sand.

"I want you to sit here where the waves fall," Ephraim said. "I know you don't care for beaches, so let this be a way to help with that."

"B-B-But I'll get wet," Amelie whimpered.

"And what's the harm in that?" Ephraim asked with a friendly smile.

"I could catch hypothermia and die," Amelie said.

"In the middle of summer?" Ephraim asked.

"You never know," Amelie shivered.

"I'll be here with you," Ephraim assured her. "We can keep talking to keep your mind off of the beach."

Ephraim sat Amelie down. She whimpered as the tide went past her feet and bottom.

"It'll be okay," Ephraim told her as he let go of her hand. "So, what are your hobbies?"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ephraim:** Helping people is second nature to me, and Amelie seems like she needs some help. I am more than happy to oblige as long as she's happy with it.

 **Amelie:** That was still really scary, but it's not _quite_ as bad as I thought it would be. Though I wish my feet and bottom weren't so wet. It's kind of embarrassing.

* * *

Warwick and Zarardo met on top of the thousand-foot cliff.

"If I may ask, why are we all the way up here?" Zarardo asked.

"Because this is where my castle shall be gradually constructed as this game goes on," Warwick answered. "Which is what you will do during your free time, I should add."

"I see," Zarardo said. "I should tell you now that I have no experience in constructing buildings."

"Well, let this be your experience!" Warwick declared. "Chop chop! And I mean that literally! You'll need lumber for the foundation."

"I don't suppose you know where to find an ax?" Zarardo asked.

"It's not _my_ job to know these things," Warwick frowned. "That's _your_ job, as my advisor."

"I see," Zarardo said. "In that case, I'd best begin searching for an ax."

"Well hurry up! I don't have all day!" Warwick ordered.

"With all the work _you're_ doing, I'd say you do," Zarardo said under his breath.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** What do you mean I can't have a castle on the cliff?! Who cares about challenges? Those aren't important.

 **Zarardo:** I would like to state right now how grateful I am that Canada is not a monarchy.

* * *

Hugh found Stormy~ humming to herself as she sat on a rock.

"Hey, electric bitch," Hugh said to get her attention.

"That's not a very nice thing to say," Stormy~ frowned. "What do you want?"

"You and Bijou are in an alliance, right?" Hugh asked.

"Well, yes, but-" Stormy stammered.

"I'm in your alliance now," Hugh said.

"I don't think Bijou would be okay with that," Stormy~ told him.

"I don't think I give a crap," Hugh responded rudely. "Next time you see her, make sure to let her know."

"Why can't you just tell her?" Stormy~ asked curiously.

"Because shut up!" Hugh snapped. "Hey, where is she anyway?"

"Bijou? I think she's doing her hair," Stormy~ responded. "I don't do my hair. My agent says that messy hair looks cute on me."

"Yeah, well I think it looks terrible," Hugh sneered.

"But your hair is messy too," Stormy~ pointed out.

"Well you hair is shut up!" Hugh retorted.

"That doesn't even make sense," Stormy~ said.

"Your _face_ doesn't make sense!" Hugh fumed as he left.

"He's mean," Stormy~ pouted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Okay, the messy hair look does look nice on her... not that I was ever going to admit that to her face.

 **Stormy~:** It's a good thing that Hugh dresses very casually, otherwise I'd be afraid Bijou might let him into the alliance. Anta wa baka, Hugh arimasu.

* * *

Phoenix and Fauna sat down at one of the tables in the mess hall, eating some eggs and toast.

"So, I want to see where your head is at as far as targets go," Phoenix told Fauna.

"The whities, obviously," Fauna answered.

"Well, yes, obviously, but I'm thinking specifically," Phoenix told her. "Which one person do you want gone before the others?"

"Aw, shoot, that's hard," Fauna said as she began to think. "That Isidora chick is a punk. I'd be more than fine if she left."

"Isidora, eh?" Phoenix began to think as well. "She does seem terrible socially and physically, so she could be a good, easy early target."

"Well see, there we have it," Fauna said. "I can't wait to see the look on her face when the black girl outlasts her. Fight the power!"

"Er, right," Phoenix semi-agreed. "So, how's your morning been?"

"Well, I was one of the first to get a shower this morning, and this breakfast is pretty good, so overall, I can't really complain," Fauna answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Just holding some polite conversation," Phoenix shrugged. "Just because we're allies in a strategic sense doesn't mean we can't get along on a personal level as well."

"You're not secretly in blackface, are you?" Fauna asked suspiciously.

"What?! No!" Phoenix gasped. "Why on Earth would you ask something like that?"

"I wasn't about to take the risk of talking all friendly to some white boy," Fauna huffed.

"I don't think people still use blackface," Phoenix said. "Except for those episodes of _It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia_ , and even then-"

"Why you watching white-ass TV?" Fauna asked.

"You're right. That was wrong of me," Phoenix said with an annoyed sigh.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** Talking with Fauna is like playing Minesweeper. You think you have it all under control. The circumstances make sense, and you don't think anything will go wrong. One misclick, and you get blown up at.

 **Fauna:** Phoenix has a lot to learn about how things really are. _Especially_ as a person of color.

* * *

Bijou left the communal washroom, her hair now done.

"Another day of looking fabulous," Bijou told herself.

Bijou's ears perked when she heard a voice from behind the washroom building.

"So why are we meeting up over here?" the voice asked curiously.

Bijou checked behind the building to see Cordelia, Jasper, and Vardaman.

"Well, after I heard we were all on the same team, I couldn't _not_ suggest this," Jasper said giddily. "We should all be in an alliance."

"Eh, I dunno," Vardaman said. "I'm not here to play all strategic-like."

"Vardaman, honey, I think this is a really good idea," Jasper said coaxingly. "It could keep us from being voted out."

"I don't think Cordelia agrees either," Vardaman said as he gestured to Cordelia, who had a big frown on her face.

"But... but... I don't want an alliance," Cordelia said emotionlessly, her eyes large and vacuous. "That sounds so mean and exclusive. I want to be friends with everyone. I can't be friends with everyone if I'm in an alliance."

"Cordy, honey..." Jasper started.

"I don't want an alliance," Cordelia continued as tears filled her eyes. "I want friends. Not an alliance!"

"Alright, alright, we don't have to be an alliance," Jasper conceded. "We can stick together, but-"

"Oh, Jasper, I knew you'd understand," Cordelia said, suddenly joyous again, as she hugged Jasper.

"What the hell?" Bijou thought aloud.

This gave Bijou away, and the three all turned their heads as they heard her voice.

"Howdy, Bijou. How's it goin'?" Vardaman greeted in a friendly manner.

Bijou didn't give Vardaman time to finish before fleeing the scene.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bijou:** Did you all see that? Vardaman doesn't want an alliance, and Jasper ignores him. Cordelia doesn't want one, and... I can't describe it, but something happened with her eyes, and... it was uncanny, that's for sure.

 **Jasper:** What kind of best friend would I be if I didn't listen to Cordelia? If she doesn't want an alliance, she doesn't have to have one.

 **Vardaman:** I'm just glad Cordelia was there to help me out. Now I won't feel so guilty if I end up havin' to vote for Jasper.

 **Cordelia:** My friends are so understanding! I love them!

* * *

Isidora left the mess hall after eating breakfast.

"Ughhhhh. I'm so bored," Isidora complained.

"Why don't you read something?" Ronoc asked as he leaned against the wall of the mess hall, puffing on his cigar. "You like reading, don't you?"

"I don't feel like it," Isidora said.

"In that case, let's talk," Ronoc offered as he stopped leaning and approached Isidora.

"About?" Isidora asked suspiciously.

"Your only friend is on the other team, right?" Ronoc asked.

"You make me sound so misanthropic when you put it like that," Isidora said.

"Point is: you need more allies," Ronoc continued. "Funny thing is, so do I."

"So you want us to watch each other's backs?" Isidora asked. "I don't know. You seem awfully sketchy."

Ronoc pulled his Invincibility Statue from his pocket and offered it to Isidora.

"How about I offer you this as proof that I'm for real?" Ronoc asked.

"I can't use this," Isidora said. "It's blue, and I'm a girl."

"Chris only said boys could bring the blue ones back in the challenge. He never said only boys could use them," Ronoc pointed out.

"Well how do I know that you didn't just whittle this like that other ginger from Season 4?" Isidora challenged.

"You don't, but if you keep asking questions, this scene will go on forever." Ronoc placed his statue in Isidora's hands. "By the way, Fauna and her alliance are gunning for you. They also don't know you have an Invincibility Statue. You're welcome."

Ronoc took a puff of his cigar as he walked off.

"Weirdo," Isidora remarked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** Ronoc doesn't seem trustworthy in the slightest, but I guess an untrustworthy ally is better than no ally at all, or something. What do I have to lose, right? Other than my lungs if his secondhand smoke ends up giving me cancer or whatever. _(She shrugs disinterestedly.)_

 **Ronoc:** You didn't honestly expect me to keep that thing, did you? I'm just a gimmick character. I don't need it. _(He puffs on his cigar.)_

* * *

The twenty-four campers met up at the main area of the campground. Chris and Lindsay were there alongside white sheets covering three objects.

"Welcome, campers, to your first challenge as teams!" Chris announced. "Today's challenge will require luck as well as skill if you want to make it out on top."

"I'm more of a bottom myself," Jasper said cheekily.

"That's something I needed to know," Chris said sarcastically. "Now, we were _originally_ going to have some ultra-violent games of rock-paper-scissors in which you shot said rocks, papers, and scissors at each other using these babies..." Chris walked up to two of the sheeted objects and removed the sheets, revealing small, one-barrelled turrets. "Buuuut, somebody thought that just wasn't violent enough." Chris gave a sardonic glare at Lindsay, who wore a confused look on her face.

"Wait, I told you it was _too_ violent," Lindsay said as she scratched her head.

"Point is, you won't be shooting each other, but you _will_ be shooting these!" Chris announced as he pulled back the third sheet.

What was revealed was a wooden structure which had twenty-four tiles connected to the structure and to each other by metal wire. The tiles were arranged in a six-by-four array, had pictures of the remaining campers, and were colored green or red depending on which camper's picture was on the tile.

"Here's how it's going to work," Chris began. "Each team will take turns setting up one representative to play a game of rock-paper-scissors, alphabetically of course. The winner of the game will get to take a shot at the wall of tiles. If your tile gets shot out, then you are out of the challenge and cannot play rock-paper-scissors nor can you shoot a tile. This will continue until all the tiles for one team are broken, at which point, the team that still has tiles intact will be the winning team. The losing team will have to vote somebody out and one of your own will be eliminated at the marshmallow ceremony tonight. Any questions?"

"Yeah, what made you think I said 'not violent enough'?" Lindsay asked again.

"Didn't ask you, Lindsay," Chris told her.

Lindsay hung her head disappointedly.

"Any questions from _the contestants_?" Chris stressed.

Silence.

"Awesome. Amelie, Fauna. You two are the first up," Chris finished.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Tori:** My aim is impeccable. This should be simple.

 **Quentin:** I like to think I can do well in this. I tend to do pretty well in rock-paper-scissors

 **Naomi:** I hope the recoil from the turret doesn't cause me to lose my balance due to the poor traction my skates provide me, prompting me to fall over, hit my head against the ground, get a concussion, and have to be eliminated early for something that wasn't even really my fault. Because that would suuuuck

* * *

Fauna stood up to the leftmost turret, Amelie, the rightmost.

"The hell kind of Asian girl name is Amelie, anyway?" Fauna asked.

"Wh-What do you mean?" Amelie whimpered.

"Shouldn't you be named Yuko or some crap?" Fauna asked.

"What kind of black girl name is Fauna?" Isidora asked from the sidelines.

"Excuse me?!" Fauna gasped angrily.

"The name 'Fauna' is derived from Roman mythology," Isidora explained. "You know race the Romans are?"

"Man, shut up," Fauna scowled.

"Shouldn't you be named Kumbukani or some crap?" Isidora smirked.

"Oh, that is it!" Fauna snapped.

"As dramatic as the banter between you two is, we have a challenge to start," Chris interrupted.

Fauna and Amelie held their fists out.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

Fauna threw out rock. Amelie threw out scissors.

"Rock crushes scissors!" Chris announced. "Fauna, take your shot."

Fauna took hold of her team's turret. She aimed at Isidora's tile, took a deep breath, moved to Cordelia's tile directly to the left, and shot, shattering Cordelia's tile.

"No fair," Cordelia frowned.

"Next round! Bijou, Genesis, you're up!" Chris announced.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fauna:** Yeah, I was real tempted to shoot that pale-ass chick's tile, but I wasn't about to go throwing the challenge and putting a target on my back, even with my statue.

 **Isidora:** One perk of having Italian heritage: I know a lot about Roman mythology. Fauna was the goddess of animals and fertility. You know, I probably shouldn't be egging on the girl who already wants to vote me out, but I have an Invincibility Statue, so...

* * *

Genesis and Bijou took their turrets.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

Genesis threw out scissors. Bijou threw out rock.

"Once again, rock beats scissors," Chris said. "Bijou, take your shot."

"Hm, let's see..." Bijou thought aloud as she aimed at a number of Killer Boldface tiles. She eventually settled on Osric's tile and took her shot, shattering it.

"Osric is now out of the challenge!" Chris announced. "Ephraim and Isidora, you two are next up in the challenge.

"Why me?" Osric asked as Bijou returned to the sidelines.

"Don't think I don't catch you staring at my breasts," Bijou said haughtily.

"Well shoot, you wear a strapless dress that shows cleavage, what am I supposed to do?" Osric muttered.

Isidora and Ephraim took their turrets.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

Isidora threw out paper. Ephraim threw out rock.

"Paper covers rock!" Chris announced. "Isidora, your shot, if you please."

Isidora, with little hesitation, shot Bijou's tile.

"Only made sense to take out the one person on that team who's won so far," Isidora shrugged.

"Makes sense to me," Chris said. "Anyway, Hugh and Naomi, your turns are now!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** Osric's such an ameteur. Yes, Bijou has nice breasts, but you have to make sure you only look when you can't see her eyes. That means she can't see your eyes either. Or better yet, wear sunglasses. Maybe that smoker guy has the right idea.

* * *

Naomi and Hugh took their spots on the turrets.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

Naomi threw out scissors. Hugh threw out paper.

"Scissors cuts paper," Chris stated. "Naomi, take a shot."

"But I'm not old enough to drink," Naomi giggled.

"You are in Germany," Mondo said.

"But we're not in Germany," Zarardo pointed out.

"Hey, for all we know, she could win the game and buy a ticket to Germany," Quentin pointed out.

Naomi shot Stormy~'s tile.

"Ahhhhhhhh!" Stormy~ shouted in surprise.

"Chill out. It's just a challenge," Hugh scoffed.

"Well, no concussion," Naomi smiled. "I win this round, turret, but I have no doubt you'll be back for more. I look forward to it."

"Weirdo," Chris muttered. "Anyway, Jasper and Phoenix, you two are up.

Phoenix and Jasper took their places at the turrets.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

Phoenix threw out rock. Jasper pointed his fingers like a gun.

"Gun beats everything!" Jasper announced.

"Yeah, no, that's not going to work," Chris said flatly.

"What are you talking about? Show me the rule that says so," Jasper challenged.

"Ooh! Ooh!" Lindsay called as she had a book entitled The Rules and Clauses of Rock-Paper-Scissors, Version 7 in her hands. "Rule 4, Clause 1: 'The only items which may be called are the aforementioned rock, paper, and scissors, unless otherwise stated by a referee.'"

"And seeing a how I'm referee, I say 'no guns', and Phoenix can take his shot," Chris said.

"That totally should have worked," Cordelia pouted.

"Ah, it was a risky move, babe," Jasper told her. "I knew that going in."

Phoenix shot out Kelsey's tile.

"Ah! Rude!" Kelsey scowled.

"Just doing the challenge. Nothing personal," Phoenix stated.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** I only aimed for Kelsey's tile because she seems like a smart person, and this is a partially mental challenge. An understanding of reverse psychology is crucial in rock-paper-scissors.

 **Kelsey:** Phoenix was just scared of me. Yeah. That's what it was.

* * *

Ronoc and Mondo took their turrets.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

Ronoc threw out rock. Mondo threw out paper.

"Mondo wins! Take your shot," Chris announced.

After some brief consideration, Mondo shot Zarardo's tile.

"Zarardo is out of the challenge!" Chris announced.

"A shame, but an insignificant one in the grand scheme of things," Zarardo commented.

"Quentin and Ursula, you're up," Chris stated.

Ursula and Quentin approached their respective turrets.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

Ursula threw out rock. Quentin threw out paper.

"Wow, same result twice in a row," Chris said, unimpressed.

"You know, I don't understand why paper covering rock is considered to be as effective as scissors cutting paper or rock smashing scissors," Quentin mused. "With those other two, you're destroying the opposition beyond repair. When paper covers rock... I don't know, you can always just take the paper off and the rock would still be intact."

"Just shoot, Quentin," Chris said, annoyed.

Quentin took a shot at Fauna's tile, destroying it.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ronoc:** You know, I'd hate to be the guy who has to clean up all the tile shards after this challenge. Just a thought.

 **Ursula:** I bet you could shoot a hole clean through someone with those turret things. I'm almost tempted to try it.

 **Lindsay:**...That is a good point about rock and paper though. How weird.

* * *

Warwick and Tori took their respective turrets.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

Warwick threw out rock. Tori threw out scissors.

"As it should be!" Warwick declared.

"Whatever dude. You only get one shot like the rest of the peasants," Chris remarked.

"One shot is all I need," Warwick said confidently. He took hold of the turret, took aim, and shot out Ephraim's tile.

"Ephraim is out!" Chris announced. "Vardaman and Xingrong, your turn in the challenge!"

"A simple task for the unholy angel of sandwiches," Xingrong boasted.

"If you say so," Vardaman said warily.

"I need not say so, for it is the truth!" Xingrong exclaimed.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

Xingrong threw out paper. Vardaman threw out scissors.

"Well how about that? I done beat an unholy angel," Vardaman chuckled.

Xingrong wordlessly held a flabbergasted expression.

Vardaman shot out Phoenix's tile.

"Fair enough," Phoenix shrugged.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Xingrong:** Vardaman has made himself a powerful enemy. I shall keep this in mind should the both of us make it to the merge. If I can get Quentin as my disciple, I can get others as well. They shall assist me in having Vardaman eliminated. And believe me, I am not the forgetful type!

* * *

"Alright, so, Vardaman is the last one alphabetically on the Screaming Italics, so I'll mention now that we're going to loop around once we reach that point on a team," Chris explained. "Meaning that this round will have Amelie and Yolonda."

Yolonda and Amelie took their turrets.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

Yolonda threw out scissors. Amelie threw out rock.

"Amelie actually wins this one!" Chris announced.

"Oh no. This means I have to shoot someone, doesn't it?" Amelie asked quietly.

"That _is_ how the challenge works," Chris said dryly.

Amelie took control of her turret, but found herself having trouble deciding whose tile to shoot.

"Sometime this week, please," Chris urged impatiently.

"Eep!" Amelie squealed as she shot out Genesis' tile.

Genesis shrugged indifferently at this result.

Chris looked over the broken tiles. "Well, since Bijou, Cordelia, and Ephraim are all already out, looks like it's Hugh's turn. And since Zarardo, Fauna, and Genesis are all already out, Isidora will be joining him."

"Brilliant deduction, Sherlock," Hugh scoffed as he and Isidora took their turrets.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

Isidora threw out paper. Hugh threw out rock.

"Isidora wins it!" Chris announced. "Take a shot!"

"Take a shot for every time Chris says something obvious about this challenge," Mondo remarked.

Isidora shrugged as she took out Vardaman's tile.

"Aw, shucks," Vardaman said as he rubbed the back of his head.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Xingrong:** I think I may have found another disciple. Anyone who shoots out Vardaman's tile is worthy of my time!

 **Isidora:** I just took out the first green tile that caught my eye. _(She shrugs.)_

* * *

Naomi and Jasper took their respective turrets.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

Naomi threw out paper. Jasper threw out rock.

"Well, I don't want the viewers to take so many shots that they can't watch the episode," Chris said.

"We meet again, turret," Naomi said seriously. "And I intend to walk away from this one unscathed as well. I apologize if you had... different plans."

"The turret can't hear you, Naomi," Chris said, annoyed.

"That's a shot," Mondo smirked.

Naomi took aim and took out Mondo's tile.

"A shot against me, no less," Mondo added, a bit surprised.

Ronoc took his team's turret.

"Uh, Quentin, you gonna go?" Chris asked.

"Oh, is it my turn?" Quentin asked.

"Well, seeing as how Jasper just finished, and Kelsey and Mondo are out of the challenge, that's the only logical conclusion," Chris remarked.

"Okay, that does make sense," Quentin nodded as he took his team's turret.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

Ronoc threw out scissors. Quentin threw out rock.

"Oh, cool," Quentin smiled.

"You're a lucky guy, Quentin," Ronoc said casually.

"Yeah, I get that a lot," Quentin said as he aimed his turret and took out Warwick's tile.

"How dare you?!" Warwick gasped.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Who would defy me and my reign in such a manner as this? Do these people have no idea how kings work?

* * *

Ursula and Tori each took their team's respective turret.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

"BOO!" Ursula shouted as she held out scissors.

Tori flinched as she threw out rock.

"Well, despite Ursula's scare tactic, Tori seems to have won this one," Chris stated. "Hey, I'm not _making_ anyone drink."

Tori took aim and shot out Ursula's tile.

"Yeah, I probably deserved that," Ursula chuckled. "Still worth it."

"For those who have lost track, both teams have five tiles left," Chris told the camera.

"How could they lose track? They can clearly see the tiles right there," Yolonda pointed out.

Ronoc glanced at the camera.

Xingrong and Amelie each took a turret.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

Xingrong threw out paper. Amelie threw out rock

"Fwahahahahaha! I have once again emerged victorious!" Xingrong boasted. He took aim and shot Amelie's tile.

"Eep!" Amelie jumped as her tile shattered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Seeing my face blow up like that... oh my.

* * *

Yolonda and Hugh took their turrets.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

Yolonda threw out rock. Hugh threw out paper.

"Let's see... which loser to destroy?" Hugh snickered to himself.

He took aim and destroyed Xingrong's tile.

"Awha?!" Xingrong gasped. "You foolish-!"

"Yes, yes, it's a crime against humanity Xingrong, we get it," Chris interrupted.

"It's a crime against the dark angels!" Xingrong corrected.

Jasper and Isidora took their respective turrets.

"I feel like I just went," Jasper said.

"I could make you stop going," Isidora offered dryly.

"We'll see about that," Jasper said with a wink.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

Isidora threw out paper. Jasper threw out rock.

"Welp. You got me," Jasper said as he put his hands up in surrender.

Isidora wasted no time shooting Jasper's tile.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Even when I'm not being a bad boy, I'd still like to punch that sandwich guy in the face. He's annoying.

* * *

Naomi and Quentin each took their turrets.

"So, we meet again, turret," Naomi said to her turret.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

"Oh! Uh!" Naomi panicked and didn't throw anything.

"Naomi didn't respond. Quentin wins by default," Chris decided.

"I checked, and that is, in fact, in the rules," Lindsay said as she held her book in the air.

Quentin took out Yolonda's tile.

"I figured it had to happen at some point," Yolonda decided.

Ronoc and Tori each approached their team's turret.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

Ronoc threw out paper. Tori threw out rock.

"You were lucky to have made it this far, Tori," Ronoc said as he took aim with his turret. "But your challenge ends here."

Ronoc shot out Tori's tile.

"Oh well," Tori said indifferently.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Cordelia:** This challenge is so unfriendly. I'm kind of glad I was the first one taken out of this one. I couldn't decide on who to take out!

* * *

Isidora and Hugh each took their respective turrets.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

Isidora threw out paper. Hugh threw out scissors.

"I'm better at this than I thought," Hugh snickered as he took aim and shattered Isidora's tile.

"Down to two each," Osric pointed out. "It's anyone's challenge at this point."

"I have faith in us," Genesis texted.

Naomi and Quentin each took their turrets.

"One, two, three, shoot!" Chris called.

Naomi threw out scissors. Quentin threw out rock.

"D'oh!" Naomi said as she slapped her forehead in a ditzy manner.

Quentin took out Naomi's tile.

"What?! Noooooo! Turret, you betrayed me!" Naomi cried.

"It's a different turret!" Fauna shouted at her.

"Oh yeah. Good point," Naomi said calmly.

"White people," Fauna muttered with a roll of her eyes.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Chris:** For the record, there were tie games. A lot of them. But we had the decency to edit them out in order to keep things from getting too slow.

* * *

Ronoc and Hugh each took a turret.

"This could be the final match," Chris said to the camera.

"It won't be," Ronoc said.

"You don't know that," Chris told him.

"Yes I do," Ronoc said. "Start the match and I'll prove it."

"Ugh, fine," Chris groaned. "One, two, three, shoot!"

Ronoc threw out rock. Hugh threw out scissors.

"Well I'll be darned," Chris said. "Ronoc, take your shot."

Ronoc took out Hugh's tile.

"Well, looks like _this_ is the last round," Chris announced. "Quentin vs. Ronoc. Right next to each other on the alphabet, too."

"That's probably a coincidence," Ronoc said as Quentin took the green turret.

"For invincibility..." Chris said. "One, two, three, shoot!"

Ronoc threw out scissors. Quentin threw out...

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Paper.

"The Killer Boldface win the challenge!" Chris announced.

This was met by cheers from the members of the Killer Boldface, as well as a few groans and disappointed tongue clicks from the Screaming Italics.

"Killer Boldface, you have the rest of the day off," Chris continued. "Spend it however you wish. Within reason. AKA stay away from the staff area."

"Where is the staff area anyway?" Ursula asked with a grin.

"Nice try," Chris responded. "Screaming Italics, you have a couple hours to decide who you want to vote off. I'll see you at elimination tonight."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ronoc:** Quentin may be lucky, but the will of the author outweighs luck. Good thing the author just so happened to be on my side in this challenge, huh?

 **Kelsey:** Quentin won every round of the challenge he was in until the last one. How interesting.

 **Yolonda:** Cool. Now I can make everyone dinner without the pressure of having to worry about the votes.

 **Vardaman:** Well, we may not have won, but we did our best, and I can't fault anyone here for that.

* * *

Kelsey and Mondo met up in the girls' cabin.

"So, is this just going to be our meeting spot from now on?" Mondo asked.

"I don't see why not," Kelsey said.

"Well, anyone can walk in at any time, for starters," Mondo pointed out.

"Don't worry. I'm a master at changing topics mid-conversation," Kelsey said as she adjusted her glasses. "Someone can walk into the cabin at any time, and that's why he was the worst homecoming date I ever had."

"I see your point," Mondo said, mildly impressed.

"So, you mentioned Jasper this morning," Kelsey said.

"I mentioned _not_ wanting him in the alliance," Mondo reiterated.

"Exactly. Which is why I'm proposing voting him out," Kelsey stated.

"It would be good for my focus on the game if we voted him out," Mondo said with a blush.

"Good," Kelsey decided. "I can't guarantee he'll go home tonight, but I'll talk to the others and see if I can't get them to vote for him."

Just then, Tori walked into the cabin.

"You just don't learn, do you?" Tori said as she shook her head at Mondo.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kelsey:** I've been known to be fairly charismatic when I want to be. I can and will turn the vote against Jasper tonight.

 **Mondo:** Having Jasper out would be a godsend for me. I guess I'll just kick back for the rest of the day and trust Kelsey knows what she's doing.

* * *

Amelie and Ephraim returned to the beach.

"I'm probably going to get voted out," Amelie whimpered.

"What makes you say that?" Ephraim asked.

"Who wouldn't vote me out?" Amelie asked. "I'm weak and cowardly and useless."

"You aren't useless," Ephraim told her firmly. "You're my friend. So already you mean more to me than most of the others on the island."

"I-I-I'm your friend?!" Amelie gasped. "Why? Why would you say that?!"

"I'm only speaking the truth," Ephraim told her. "I enjoy hanging out with you."

"But why?" Amelie asked.

"I like helping you," Ephraim said. "Plus, the more we get to know about each other, the more of a bond we have."

"Isn't it a bit early to be saying things like that?" Amelie shuddered.

"I'm just explaining my intentions to you," Ephraim said. "Let's change the topic. Who are you thinking of voting for?"

"That Hugh guy seems really mean," Amelie said.

"I voted for him last night, but to no avail," Ephraim said. "Maybe we can get him out this time."

"I sure hope so," Amelie said quietly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ephraim:** Amelie's shy, but she hasn't outright told me to leave her alone, so I'm taking that as a sign that she doesn't hate having me around at least. _(He chuckles.)_

 **Amelie:** I can see it now. One vote Hugh, eleven votes Amelie. It was fun while it lasted, I guess.

* * *

Jasper and Vardaman both washed their hands at the washroom sink.

"What would you say if I made a glory hole in one of the stalls?" Jasper asked with a wink.

"A what?!" Vardaman gasped.

"You know. A glory hole," Jasper said flirtatiously. "You put your-"

"I know what a glory hole is. I just dunno why you'd want one," Vardaman said awkwardly.

"Who _wouldn't_?" Jasper asked. "You can get some nice loving, all anonymously of course. Unless it was, I don't know, Phoenix or Quentin or someone who put it in. Then it'd be fairly obvious."

"Why are ya tellin' me this?" Vardaman asked, still grossed out.

"Come on, girls use them too," Jasper insisted. "Of course, you never really know who's on the other side. That's the fun of it all."

"This conversation is over," Vardaman decided as he left the washroom.

"It could even be me on the other side!" Jasper called as Vardaman made his hasty escape. "Heheheh. Too much fun."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I ain't gonna lie, I'd vote Jasper out if I thought Cordelia'd be okay with it. Maybe I still will. _(He shudders.)_

 **Jasper:** Oh, don't mind me, just being gay. You don't have a _problem_ with that, do you? _(He laughs maliciously.)_

* * *

Bijou met up with Stormy~

"So, who are we going to vote out?" Stormy~ asked.

"I wish to be rid of Cordelia as soon as possible," Bijou stated.

"Cordelia? She seems nice," Stormy~ said, slightly confused.

"Exactly. She seems nice, but..." Bijou trailed off. "I saw her speaking with Jasper and Vardaman, and something about her... I can't put it into words other than it freaked me out."

"Do you think she's not really all that nice?" Stormy~ asked. "Whatever you decide to do, I'll trust you."

"I'm touched," Bijou said. "How well do you get along with the others on this team?"

"I can't say I've spoken much to them," Stormy~ answered. "Other than..."

"Ladies," Hugh said as he approached the two.

"What do you want?" Bijou asked. "No, more importantly: who told you that a brown sweatshirt was a good idea?"

"Why, didn't you hear?" Hugh asked. "Stormy~ let me into your alliance."

"I did no such thing!" Stormy~ insisted. "Anta wa hoka no hitobito ni tsuite uso o iubekide wa arimasen!"

"I have no idea what that last part was, but listen," Hugh told the girls. "If you want Cordelia out, I'm all for that. She's annoying. But I'm going to need to be on your side for that to happen. Got it?"

"You don't scare me," Bijou said with her arms folded.

"No, but I hear she does," Hugh said with a cruel grin as he pointed behind Bijou.

Bijou turned around to see Cordelia standing there, her eyes big and vacuous.

"You want to vote me out, Bijou?" Cordelia asked emotionlessly. "Why? Why would you want that? I thought we were friends."

"This is the first time you've spoken directly with me," Bijou pointed out.

"But... but... but..." Cordelia sniveled. "That's so mean. You're a terrible friend."

"This is exactly what I was talking about!" Bijou said as she turned to Stormy~ and Hugh.

"What's your problem, Bijou?" Stormy~ asked angrily.

" _My_ problem?!" Bijou asked.

"I'm telling," Cordelia said emotionlessly as tears ran down her face. She ran off.

"...What just happened?" Stormy~ asked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bijou:** How do you _describe_ what just happened there?

 **Hugh:** Geez. Bitches be crazy, am I right? That's a thing bad boys say, right? Either way, it's true right now.

 **Stormy~:** Cordelia's a very convincing person. I can't believe I lashed out against my friend Bijou like that.

* * *

The twelve members of the Screaming Italics met up at the bonfire pit. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"Welcome, Screaming Italics, to the first team elimination of the game," Chris greeted. "You've cast your votes and made your decisions. When I call your name, come and get a marshmallow. Eleven of you will receive a marshmallow and make it to the next round. The person who _doesn't_ receive a marshmallow will walk the Dock of Shame, get into the Elevator of Losers, and will be officially eliminated from the game. That said... marshmallows, anyone?"

"Ephraim."

"Kelsey."

"Tori."

"Quentin."

"Stormy~."

"Amelie."

"Mondo."

"Vardaman."

Bijou, Cordelia, Hugh, and Jasper all sat in wait of Chris's next call.

"Now, the four of you all received some votes," Chris said. "All of you got at least two, in fact."

"What...?" Cordelia asked, her eyes large.

"Hugh, you only got two votes, and as such, you are safe," Chris continued.

"Hell yeah," Hugh smirked as he claimed his marshmallow.

Bijou, Cordelia, and Jasper all waited for the next call.

"Cordelia. You are also safe," Chris smiled.

"Oh. Yay!" Cordelia chirped as she happily skipped up to Chris to take her marshmallow.

Bijou and Jasper glanced at each other.

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"Jasper. You're safe," Chris finally said.

"Aw, whew," Jasper said with a sigh of relief. "Too close, Chrissy-boo. Too close."

"What?!" Bijou gasped. "How could I have received more votes than _any_ of those three?!"

"You tell me," Chris shrugged.

"I cannot believe this," Bijou said to herself.

"Believe it," Chris said. "Time for the Elevator of Losers. Anyone who wishes to say goodbye may follow me and Bijou to said elevator.

* * *

Chris, Bijou, Hugh, and Stormy~ all went to the Dock of Shame.

"I'm so sad that my friend got eliminated," Stormy~ frowned.

"Hey, better her than you, right?" Chris said.

"If I just could have found one of those statues," Bijou lamented.

"Oh no! I'm sorry! I forgot I had one!" Stormy~ gasped. "May I use it on Bijou?"

"Sorry. Too late," Chris said. "Once a loser steps foot on the Dock of Shame, their elimination is finalized."

"Awwww," Stormy~ said disappointedly.

Chris took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors.

"Time to say goodbye, Bijou," Chris said with a toothy smile.

"I'm going to miss you!" Stormy~ exclaimed as she hugged Bijou tightly.

"You're an alright person, Stormy~," Bijou complimented genuinely.

"See you, I guess," Hugh said.

"I hope you don't expect a hug from me as well," Bijou told him. "I did not ask you to come here."

"Fine. I didn't want a hug from you anyway," Hugh said defiantly as he kicked some loose dirt off of the Dock.

Stormy~ let go of Bijou. "Take care," she said.

"You too, Stormy~," Bijou said.

"What am I, chopped liver?" Hugh asked.

"Chopped liver has better fashion sense than you do," Bijou remarked as she entered the Elevator.

"Hey, I voted for Cordelia, like you wanted," Hugh said. "I didn't have to do that."

"Alright, alright, you two head off to bed," Chris said to Hugh and Stormy~. The two complied and left the Dock.

"Bijou, you have finished this game in 24th place," Chris said.

"And tell Ursula to lose the gloves!" Bijou insisted.

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on his remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater.

"The teams have just formed, and already we have loads of drama!" Chris said excitedly to the camera.

"Everyone's already making lots of enemies," Lindsay added as she arrived on scene.

"Will Stormy~ survive now that her ally's been taken out?" Chris asked. "Will Vardaman continue to put up with Jasper? Will Ephraim help Amelie grow a spine?"

"Will Xingrong find all the followers he wants?" Lindsay asked. "Will Warwick establish his rule? Will Naomi ever learn to skate?"

"I can hardly wait to find out myself," Chris beamed.

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Amelie:** I vote for Hugh. He's mean. And scary.

 **Mondo:** Jasper, nothing personal, but I need to focus on the game, and keeping you around will only make that harder for me.

 **Ephraim:** I don't know how Hugh stuck around last round, but he won't this round.

 **Kelsey:** Mondo wants Jasper gone, so you know what, why not?

 **Bijou:** I, obviously, must vote for Cordelia. She is not to be trusted.

 **Stormy~:** Bijou wants Cordelia gone. I don't entirely understand why, but I trust Bijou.

 **Hugh:** Cordelia's annoying, and my alliance wants her out. I have every reason to vote for her and no reason not to.

 **Cordelia:** Bijou's a meanie. She's no friend of mine. I want her _gone_.

 **Jasper:** So Cordy tells me Bijou has to go. Well, alright, if she insists.

 **Vardaman:** I'm gonna vote for Jasper. Part of me thinks he's messin' with me on purpose, and that ain't fun.

 **Tori:** I've heard a number of names come up, and of the ones I've heard, Bijou is the one I'd want gone the most. She seems judgmental of others' appearances.

 **Quentin:** I went birdwatching after the challenge, so I didn't hear anything about who's voting for who. I'm just going to take a stab in the dark and vote for Bijou.

* * *

 _A/N: Bijou was a really fun short-term character for me to write. She made herself known and definitely played the game, but she went too hard too early, and lost the game because of it. I really wish I could have kept her around longer (believe me, I tried my hardest to think of someone to swap elimination episodes with), but in the end, I didn't have a long-term plot in mind for her. Still, she was enjoyable while she lasted, at least for me._


	4. Ep 03: Baton Your Sunday Clothes

_A/N: Yo, sorry it took as long as it did to update. I was on vacation in Hawaii for like a week. But I'm back now, so... yay for that, probably._

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, our campers duked it out in what has to be the most violent game of rock-paper-scissors _evah_!" Chris grinned.

"They kept going against each other, and whoever won got to take someone out of the challenge," Lindsay added.

"That's right," Chris nodded. "That reminds me, we also split our campers into two teams: the Screaming Italics and the Killer Boldface."

"I don't know what either of those things are, but Chris said it made sense," Lindsay admitted.

"It does, trust me," Chris said. "The game's only started and alliances have already formed. Kelsey and Mondo are sticking together, and Bijou, Hugh, and Stormy~ have all banded together as well."

"Not to mention Fauna, Phoenix, and Yolonda on the other team," Lindsay added. "Plus Naomi and Ursula joined up with Genesis and Osric. And didn't that guy with the cigar make an alliance with the really pale girl?"

"He did," Chris nodded. "Alliances weren't the only things to form, as a few conflicts brewed up as well. Xingrong already has it out for both Yolonda and Vardaman, and Bijou found herself not trusting Cordelia all that much."

"Oh, um, the Killer Faces won the challenge, so the Screaming Icicles had to vote someone out," Lindsay remembered.

"Eh, close enough," Chris dismissed. "But it's true, the Screaming Italics lost that day, and the vote was fairly split. Bijou, Cordelia, Hugh, and Jasper all received votes that evening."

"And Bijou got voted out!" Lindsay said.

"With her rival already gone, will Cordelia continue to sit pretty on her team?" Chris asked. "With all the alliances forming on Killer Boldface, which one will prove superior? The answers to these questions and more, right here, on Total!"

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

Stormy~ sat forlornly at the breakfast table in the mess hall, with a plate of egg whites.

"I miss Bijou already," Stormy~ sighed.

"Well, she's gone. Tough," Hugh said bluntly as he sat down across from Stormy~

"What do you want, Hugh?" Stormy~ asked, somewhat annoyed.

"I just wanted to touch base with you, alliance-wise," Hugh stated.

"Alliance? I was in an alliance with Bijou, but not you!" Stormy~ frowned.

"Well, Bijou's gone, and I'm not," Hugh pointed out.

"S-So?" Stormy~ asked.

"So, you're going to need allies if you want to stay in this game," Hugh explained. "Think of everyone on this team, and name me one person who isn't at least close with someone else on the team."

"Er... Tori?" Stormy~ said.

"Perhaps, but she's also way stronger than you are," Hugh said. "If it came down to you and Tori, people are going to vote for the one who's worse at challenges."

"Oh no!" Stormy~ gasped. "I can't gain publicity like that!"

"I know," Hugh said with a grin. "Which is why you're going to be in an alliance with me, whether you like it or not."

"But... but..." Stormy~ sighed. "Alright, Hugh. I'll be in an alliance with you."

"That's what I thought," Hugh smirked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Stormy~:** I don't like Hugh very much, because he's very mean, but he also has a point. I don't want to be voted off, so I'll listen to him. If only Bijou hadn't gone...

 **Hugh:** I can think of a million reasons why Stormy~ doesn't have to align with me despite the circumstances, but as long as _she_ can't think of them, things should work out for me. We're both in need of allies, and between the cute girl and, well, everyone else, I'm going with the former.

* * *

Isidora read a book silently as she sat on a rock in the campground, while Ronoc leaned against the same rock, smoking his cigar casually.

"How many cigars did you bring?" Isidora asked.

"Oh? Interested in trying one for yourself?" Ronoc asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Ew. No. I'm interested in finding out when I won't have to put up with it anymore," Isidora responded as she wrinkled her nose.

"Well actually, this is the same Fuente I've been smoking since the beginning," Ronoc said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, right," Isidora scoffed.

"It's true," Ronoc said. "But I know you won't believe me no matter what I say, so I won't say any more. Besides, the plot should move forward in three... two..."

"Mortals!" Xingrong greeted as he arrived on the scene.

"Oh great," Isidora muttered as she put a bookmark in her book. "Yes?"

"Isidora! You are in luck! I have chosen you as my next disciple!" Xingrong declared.

"Um...?" Isidora said, confused.

"Think of it as another alliance offer," Ronoc said.

"Precisely!" Xingrong confirmed. "All you have to do is vote alongside me, and I'll teach you the secret craft of Wichmastery!"

"Yeah, sorry. I'm already aligned with _this_ nutcase," Isidora said as she gestured to Ronoc.

"Oh, I don't mind," Ronoc said. "Besides, you can never have too much security, am I right?"

"Eh, you're right," Isidora conceded. She turned to Xingrong. "I'll do it."

"Excellent! A wiser choice, I have not seen!" Xingrong smiled. "Come! We shall begin your training with a simple PB&J!"

"Wait, you mean now?" Isidora asked as Xingrong grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her away.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Xingrong:** My ever-growing group of disciples serves two purposes: for the art of Wichmastery to become as widespread as possible, and so that I may have enough allies to bring me to the endgame, at which point, I will win by the powers of the dark realms!

 **Isidora:** I mean, on one hand, yeah, having more allies is good, but on the other hand, why the loudest, least understandable person on my team? Eh, better than nothing, I suppose.

 **Ronoc:** At least she won't have to deal with my cigar smoke anymore. _(He chuckles as he takes a puff of his cigar.)_

* * *

Cordelia, Jasper, and Vardaman met up in their usual spot behind the washrooms.

"So! What should we do today?" Cordelia asked.

"Let's have a threesome!" Jasper suggested.

"I'll pass, thanks," Vardaman said flatly as he put a tongue depressor in his mouth and began to chew on it.

"Why are you chewing on that?" Cordelia asked.

"I mean, I like to have wood in my mouth too, but this is ridiculous," Jasper giggled.

"Helps keep me calm when I'm stressed," Vardaman said.

"You're stressed? Oh no!" Cordelia exclaimed with concern. "What's wrong, Vardy?"

"I think I know what it is," Jasper said. "He's worried that his pal Jasper's received votes in both eliminations we've been to."

"You have?" Cordelia asked.

"Yes indeedy," Jasper confirmed.

"But why?" Cordelia asked.

"Some people just aren't ready for social progress, I guess," Jasper said as he put his arms around Cordelia and Vardaman. "Oh well. As long as I'm still here with you two, it's no skin off my di-"

"Please don't finish that sentence," Vardaman said as he chewed harder on his tongue depressor.

"Hey, I don't chew you out when you talk about lady parts," Jasper frowned.

"I don't talk about lady parts," Vardaman said flatly. "I know about human anatomy, course, but I ain't gonna talk about it 'less I have to."

"Well, I hope you feel better," Cordelia said as she hugged Vardaman.

"'Preciate it," Vardaman said as he hugged her back. He noticed Jasper shaking his head disapprovingly at him.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I think Jasper knows I voted for him. I _knew_ this was a bad idea. Now he's gonna tell Cordelia, she'll get all upset with me... I wanna say I should make it up to him, but knowin' him, his version of makin' things up is... _(He shudders.)_

 **Jasper:** I can't have Vardaman taking Cordy away from me. I'm her best friend, not Vardaman. Maybe I'll push him to his breaking point before he decides to leave us alone. And at the end of the day, whose side will everyone take? Some nobody hick, or the super cool best friend of the sweetest gal on the island?

 **Cordelia:** Poor Vardaman. I wish I knew how to make him feel better. He's not as fun when he's so sad.

* * *

Warwick and Zarardo met up on top of the thousand-foot cliff.

"I thought they said we couldn't build a castle up here," Zarardo pointed out.

"Feh. What use is a castle here?" Warwick asked. "I will have my castle built when I have the land for... whatever my country will be called. That's where my castle will be. Until then, the top of this cliff shall be my land!"

"Until they need it for a challenge, of course," Zarardo pointed out.

"Right. Like I'd let them do that," Warwick scoffed.

"Now, I've been thinking," Zarardo said.

"About how to further my domination over this game?" Warwick asked.

"Yes, actually," Zarardo smirked. "We need a bigger alliance. The two of us will still make the final two, of course, but we'll need lesser servants to help us get that far."

"A splendid idea!" Warwick agreed. "But who should we employ?"

"The girl with skates seems like she could work, as does the boy with sunglasses," Zarardo listed. "Thoughts?"

"They could work," Warwick nodded. "You should speak with them in the near future. They will be honored to join me in my crusade towards victory."

"Of course, Your Majesty," Zarardo grinned. "I shall go search for them now, if it pleases you."

"It does," Warwick nodded. "Ooh, and see if you can find some ice cream in the mess hall while you're at it."

"Will do," Zarardo nodded as he left.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** _(He is playing with his Fushigi ball.)_ Things are already running rather smoothly. Warwick is bossy, yes, and he has trouble determining what's possible for me at times, but that only adds to him being the perfect goat.

 **Warwick:** My rule over the island has begun already! That'll show that sandwich guy that nobody is more powerful than I!

* * *

Amelie and Ephraim met up at the beach.

"So, um, what are we going to do today?" Amelie asked meekly.

"Today we will be having a simple conversation," Ephraim said with a smile.

"Oh. That doesn't sound too bad," Amelie said, relieved.

"Great. You start," Ephraim coaxed.

"What?!" Amelie gasped.

"You will be leading this entire conversation," Ephraim told her. "It's an imperative skill to have."

"No. No no no no no no no. I can't do that," Amelie whimpered.

"Sure you can," Ephraim said. "It's day three and you're already comfortable at the beach."

"This is different," Amelie said.

"How so?" Ephraim asked.

"It just is!" Amelie whined as she ran away from the beach.

"Amelie, wait," Ephraim tried to say. He sighed. "This is going to be harder than I thought."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Ephraim is pushing me too hard! I can't do this!

 **Ephraim:** Amelie's being a bit difficult today, but I'm sure I can get her to lead a conversation. It's a necessary skill both in the game and out.

* * *

Genesis fiddled with her phone as she leaned casually against the mess hall.

"Heeeeeeeeey, Genesis!" Naomi greeted as she skated into the wall Genesis leaned against.

Genesis gave a concerned look to Naomi.

"Ah, I'm fine. Oi've 'ad wuhse!" Naomi said in her attempt at an English accent. "So, whatcha doing? Sending a text to your booooyfriend?"

Genesis shook her head and showed the screen of her phone to Naomi. A list of the names of each contestant was on the screen.

"Whoa. Is this, like, your hit list or something? Are you an assassin?!" Naomi gasped.

Genesis gave what could only be described as a sarcastic look to Naomi. She silently sighed as she messed with her phone a bit more. After a few seconds, she began texting.

"I'm inputting the names of each contestant into my text-to-speech app," Genesis texted. "This way I can get it to pronounce everyone's names correctly."

"Whoa, cool! Are you done with it? Can I try?" Naomi asked excitedly.

"I don't know, Nah-aw-mee," Genesis texted with a smirk.

"Soooo, you're not done," Naomi figured out.

"Correct," Genesis texted as she nodded. "And for the record, I do not have a boyfriend."

"Ooh! Hoping you'll meet someone out here?" Naomi asked said with a playful nudge.

"Who knows what will end up happening to me?" Genesis texted.

"I hope I find someone. That'd be cool," Naomi said. "That doctor guy seems like a real gentleman. I talked to him a bit on the boat ride here. Do you think I should go for it?"

"If you want," Genesis texted with a shrug.

"In that case, I shall be off!" Naomi announced as she prepared to skate off, only to slip and fall on her face. "I'm okay!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** Genesis and I are already in the same alliance, so I figure we could be friends too. Why not, right? Better than being in an alliance with someone you can't stand, right? Although, I can't really think of anyone I can't stand. Not even Fauna. I guess I'm just not really a negative person.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Naomi seems like a nice enough person, but she can be a bit loud at times. I may be mute, but I'm certainly not deaf.

* * *

Quentin wandered through the forest alone.

"What a nice day," Quentin mused.

Just then, a bird landed on his shoulder.

"Oh, hey there," Quentin smiled. "How are you?"

All of a sudden, a loud roar was heard, causing the bird to fly away.

"What on Earth was that?" Quentin asked.

Quentin walked towards where the roar was heard to find Tori sparring with a bear.

"Whoa!" Quentin gasped. "Tori! What are you doing?!"

Tori ignored Quentin as she pinned the bear to the ground. With a swift punch to its nose, she knocked the bear unconscious.

Tori smirked to herself as she cracked her knuckles. "I knew that thing was no match for me."

"I can't believe that just happened!" Quentin gasped in awe. "I didn't know _anyone_ could do that!"

"I am the strongest woman alive," Tori boasted. "And I shall continue to get stronger so that anyone who hopes to claim that title from me will fail."

"Well, don't expect any competition from me," Quentin chuckled. "I'm not that strong. Also I'm not a woman."

"Perhaps I should spar with Ephraim or Mondo," Tori pondered. "They seem like they could put up a fight."

"Ephraim doesn't seem like the fighting type to me," Quentin told her. "Mondo might be up for it though. I don't know."

"I'll keep that in mind," Tori told him.

"So... why do you want to become the world's strongest woman, anyway?" Quentin asked.

"I have my reasons," Tori said simply.

"If you insist," Quentin shrugged.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Tori:** You can be as smart or as pretty as you want to be, and maybe that will help you in your life, but where I'm from, strength is the only thing that matters.

 **Quentin:** Tori's cool. Maybe she can help me become the world's strongest man. It's a longshot, but never say never, right?

* * *

Osric and Ursula met up in the forest.

"So, we're gonna have an alliance meeting without silent girl and opposite-of-silent girl?" Ursula asked.

"Oh, no, this is no alliance meeting," Osric assured her.

"So, what, you wanna get murdered in the woods?" Ursula asked with a snicker.

"No, I just felt like hanging out," Osric said. "I feel that any good alliance can be founded on friendship, and friendship is best fostered in one-on-one interaction."

"You sure you don't just wanna make out with me where no one can see us?" Ursula grinned.

"Well...um...duh..." Osric stammered.

"Oh my God. You're adorable," Ursula said with a chuckle.

"I'll... I'll take that as a compliment," Osric said as he adjusted his glasses.

"Relax, I'm just teasing," Ursula assured him. "Shouting 'boo' isn't the only way to freak people out."

"Something which I'm sure I'll continue to learn the hard way as this game progresses," Osric chuckled nervously.

"You got it, Pornstache," Ursula nodded.

"Pornstache?" Osric asked as he stroked his moustache.

"I was teasing there, too," Ursula told him. "You're pretty sensitive for a guy."

"Am not!" Osric insisted. "I'm totally manly."

"'Totally' isn't a manly word, bro," Ursula said with a chuckle. "I'm hungry. I'm gonna go get some breakfast."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Osric:** Ursula is quite literally the girl of my dreams. Seriously, I dreamed about her last night. Nothing happened. I just wish she'd take me more seriously. You don't meet a girl who checks that many boxes on your list without at least going for it, but I'd rather she _didn't_ laugh at me in my face, you know?

 **Ursula:** Ah, I'm just teasing him, like I said. It's all in good fun. I treat all my friends this way.

* * *

As Ursula left, Osric sighed to himself, only to see Zarardo walking by.

"Oh, hey. Zarardo, right?" Osric asked.

"That is correct," Zarardo confirmed. "Need something?"

"I know we haven't really spoken much since the game started, but how would you like to join an alliance?" Osric offered.

"Perhaps," Zarardo stated. "Who, may I ask, is in this alliance?"

"Myself, Ursula, Genesis, and Naomi," Osric listed. "Interested?'

"You know what? I'm in," Zarardo smiled.

"Excellent," Osric smirked. "Glad to have you onboard.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** Well, that was surprisingly easy. Warwick should be pleased with this turnout. I know I am.

* * *

Kelsey and Mondo met up in the girls' cabin.

"Out of curiosity, how many people did you talk to about voting for Jasper?" Mondo asked.

"Are you insinuating that I didn't do a good job in what I did?" Kelsey scoffed.

"Well, Jasper's still here, isn't he?" Mondo pointed out.

"How rude!" Kelsey squealed. "I went out of my way to help you and this is how you repay me?"

"Who did you talk to about voting for Jasper?" Mondo asked.

"I'm not sure I like your attitude," Kelsey frowned.

"Who?" Mondo repeated.

"Well..." Kelsey started.

"Well?" Mondo asked, his eyebrow raised.

"I found Vardaman," Kelsey said. "Couldn't find anyone else. It's a big island. However. Seeing as how Jasper was in the bottom two in the elimination ceremony, I'm willing to bet more than just the two of us voted for him. Meaning that's entirely likely at least Vardaman voted for him. Heck, he could have spread the idea to some others. So I'd appreciate it if you cut the smug attitude and thanked me for doing all the work on this operation."

"Ugh, you're right," Mondo said. "I'm sorry. It's just really imperative that we lose Jasper as soon as possible."

"I understand. It's like how girls aren't allowed to show their shoulders in school because it's distracting to the guys," Kelsey said.

"Ahem," Mondo coughed.

"Ugh. The _straight_ guys," Kelsey said with a roll of her eyes. "But seriously, if you want my help in this game, you'd better not act like you have any authority over me. Because you don't."

"I came into this game to prove my strength," Mondo stated. "I'm not going to spend it being a follower."

"Everyone on this team is a follower aside from me," Kelsey stated. "That's how leadership works. Just leave the directions to me. It's not that hard."

"I need to use the bathroom," Mondo said as he left the cabin.

"I'm sure," Kelsey frowned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kelsey:** The nerve of that boy! I let him take the day off after the challenge out of the kindness of my heart, and he acts like _he's_ the one above _me_?! That's not how it works! No one is above me!

 **Mondo:** I'm fine with Kelsey wanting to keep things organized, but she can't expect everyone to want to go along with everything she says. I'm starting to wonder if continuing to invest time in an alliance with her is a good idea. I have an idol and I don't see any reason for anyone to target me; I should be fine without her.

* * *

Fauna, Phoenix, and Yolonda met up in the kitchen.

"Is there something you wanted?" Phoenix asked.

"Yeah, I thought we agreed to vote out Isidora," Yolonda said.

"We did," Fauna said as she locked the door. "But this is important."

"What is it?" Yolonda asked, sounding somewhat concerned.

"I need to make sure neither of you talk to any of the whities," Fauna frowned.

"I have several questions," Phoenix said as he raised his hand.

"What could you possibly need to ask?" Fauna asked.

"Well, for starters, why on Earth you think this is a good idea," Phoenix said bluntly.

"Um, hello!" Fauna exclaimed. "Why would you _want_ to talk to those people? They're awful, and we're just going to vote them out anyway."

"True, but three people isn't a majority," Phoenix explained. "We can't get people to vote for Isidora if we aren't able to talk to them."

"You really think the white people would turn on each other?" Fauna scoffed. "I bet they're all in an alliance right now."

"Where would that leave Genesis, Zarardo, Ursula, and Xingrong?" Yolonda asked. "They're not white, nor are they here with us."

"If they're smart, which I'm sure they are, they'll vote for Isidora with us," Fauna said. "She's a punk-ass bitch and not even that good at challenges anyway."

"Still, if you really think about it, I'm being locked up for being black," Phoenix pointed out.

"What?! How so?!" Fauna snapped.

"Well, you, uh, roped me into this alliance because I'm black, right?" Phoenix stated. "And you're not letting your alliance talk to anyone outside of the alliance. In order for this to happen-"

"I'm'a stop you right there," Fauna interrupted. "What I'm _doing_ is for the greater good. Do you want the whities gone or not?"

"Let's just calm down," Yolonda suggested. "While we're in here, I can make us a snack."

"Thank you, Yolonda. That sounds pleasant," Phoenix agreed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** I still have trouble understanding Fauna's methods. I'm very tempted to convince Yolonda in joining me to ditch Fauna, but for one, Fauna won't let us talk to anyone else, and for two, she has that hidden statue, so we can't exactly vote her out. Ugh, these statues are going to be a huge pain in this game, I can tell.

 **Yolonda:** Phoenix is very logical, while Fauna is very emotional. I think it's important that I stay in this alliance to keep the two from the inevitable disagreements. Logic and emotions don't mix well.

 **Fauna:** I don't see why it's so hard to grasp this concept. If I let them go around all willy-nilly, the whities are just gonna oppress them and try and convince them to vote out a person of color. That's how it always works.

* * *

The twenty-three contestants met up on the Dock of Shame, standing among their teammates, with Chris and Lindsay standing across from them.

"Welcome, campers, to your next challenge," Chris said with a toothy smile.

"Aw, thanks, Chris," Cordelia smiled.

"For what?" Chirs asked, confused.

"For welcoming us," Cordelia chirped.

"O...kayyyyy?" Chris said. "Anyway! Today's challenge is a relay race. As a team, you guys will go alphabetically through numerous checkpoints across the island, passing the baton of your team's color to the next person you come across. You don't have to do a lot as an individual, but a team is only as strong as its weakest link."

"How will we know where the next checkpoint is?" Tori asked.

"It'll be the one with lights blinking in your team's color," Chris said. "Each team has to go through the same checkpoints, but obviously, there will be points where one team is ahead or behind the other one, so the blinking lights will help you guys keep track of which one you're supposed to go to. Plus, ya know, just remember who comes after you alphabetically. That should help too."

"I assume someone from our team will be sitting out, then?" Zarardo inquired.

"Ah, that's right," Chris remembered. "Killer Boldface, since you guys still have all twelve of your guys, you're going to have to sit someone out of this challenge."

"I'll do it," Isidora immediately said as she raised her hand.

"Alright, Isidora will be sitting out of the challenge," Chris said. "Any more questions?"

Silence.

"Alrighty then," Chris said with a clap. "Lindsay will lead you guys to your respective checkpoints."

"Come on guys! Let's go!" Lindsay said enthusiastically.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kelsey:** Being a woman of size, running isn't really my strongest suit, and since this challenge is pretty much individual, I can't really help lead my team. This is not my day, guys!

 **Warwick:** It is not proper for a king to run, especially in a cape, but I suppose I should give a good impression towards my subjects. A king who does great things inspires greatness, after all.

 **Ephraim:** I'm confident in our ability to win this challenge. We have Mondo, Tori, Vardaman, and myself, all of whom are pretty athletic.

 **Isidora:** I don't run. There's no way in hell I was doing that challenge.

* * *

Amelie and Fauna stayed at the Dock, as they were the first from their team to run, each with a colored baton in their hand. They could already see a checkpoint with green-and-red blinking lights far into the campground, with Cordelia and Genesis standing there.

"Are you two girls ready?" Chris asked.

"That's sexist," Fauna spat.

"Go!" Chris shouted, beginning the challenge.

Amelie and Fauna both took off, running towards the blinking checkpoint. Fauna gave herself an early lead, being the faster runner of the two.

"Figures I'm slower," Amelie whined. "Well, it was nice knowing me."

"Come on, Amelie!" Cordelia cheered from her checkpoint.

Amelie sighed as she picked up the pace.

Meanwhile, Fauna had just made it to the checkpoint.

"If you say _anything_ about me being fast because I'm black-" Fauna told Genesis as she handed her the red baton.

Genesis held up her hand, indicating Fauna to stop talking. The mute girl turned around and ran into the forest towards some blinking red lights.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Fauna is an incredibly unstable person. She seems like she's always on edge. I can't wait to see the look on her face when her inevitable elimination comes. _(She smirks.)_

* * *

Amelie finally caught up to her team's checkpoint, handing her green baton to Cordelia.

"Thankies, Amelie!" Cordelia smiled before running off.

It wasn't long before Cordelia caught up to Genesis, who raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"I may be small, but I'm also quick on my feet," Cordelia said as she passed Genesis, who picked up the pace in order to catch up.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ephraim and Naomi chatted at their checkpoint at the mudpit.

"...And that's how Canada was made," Naomi said confidently.

"So you really believe that they put random letters into a hat and that's how they named our country?" Ephraim asked.

"Yup. C, eh. N, eh. D, eh. Looks like we got ourselves a country, eh!" Naomi giggled.

"I heard you the first time, I just wasn't sure how serious you were being," Ephraim told her.

"Well how serious am I usually?" Naomi asked.

Just then, Cordelia ran up to the checkpoint and handed Ephraim her baton.

"Let's go, Ephry!" Cordelia cheered.

Ephraim nodded as he ran off towards the next checkpoint.

"Hi, I'm Cordelia!" Cordelia greeted Naomi. "Wanna be friends?"

"Do I?!" Naomi agreed.

Just then, Genesis ran up to the checkpoint and handed her baton off to Naomi.

"Sorry. We'll have to be friends later. I've got a challenge to win, baby!" Naomi skated off.

Cordelia gave Genesis a vacuous glare.

"Can I help you?" Genesis texted.

Cordelia blinked and her eyes returned to normal.

"Hi, I'm Cordelia. Wanna be friends?" Cordelia asked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Cordelia:** I'm making a lot of friends today. Yay for me!

* * *

Ephraim ran out of the forest and up to Mt. Looming Tragedy, where the next checkpoint (and, by extension, Hugh and Osric) was found.

"Nice. Making progress," Ephraim smiled to himself.

Just then, Naomi zipped past Ephraim.

"Hooray for roller skates!" Naomi wooped. "Osric catch!"

Naomi threw her baton at Osric, who failed to catch it and instead got hit in the head by it, knocking him over. Naomi, meanwhile, crashed into the mountain face. Hugh snickered at this.

"It's not funny, Hugh," Ephraim said disappointedly as he ran up and handed his baton over.

"Eh, humor is subjective," Hugh sneered as he ran off.

Osric stood up, rubbed the spot where his head was hit, and followed after Hugh.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Osric:** _(He's holding an ice pack to his head.)_ Taking a metal baton to the head was not on my to-do list today. Naomi's lucky she's cute.

* * *

Hugh ran through the forest, following the blinking lights, and Osric stumbled along with him.

"Brain damage?" Hugh sneered.

"Nah, just a bit loopy," Osric assured Hugh as he gathered his bearings and began running normally. "See? I can go straight again."

"Didn't know you went gay," Hugh snickered.

"Hilarious," Osric said as he rolled his eyes.

"Aren't I?" Hugh said, going along with the joke.

"Well, if memory serves, Jasper's at your next checkpoint. You'd better cool it with those jokes," Osric reminded Hugh.

"Well, if memory serves, I can always vote him out if I need to," Hugh retorted.

The two boys made it to the pet cemetery, where Jasper and Phoenix both stood in wait. Hugh made it first and handed his baton to Jasper.

"Well, this isn't the first time I've held a hard pole in my hand," Jasper chuckled.

"Beat it," Hugh said, annoyed.

"Exactly!" Jasper beamed as he ran off.

"Euggggggh," Hugh grunted.

Osric arrived soon after and handed his baton to Phoenix.

"Think you can catch up?" Osric asked.

Before Osric could finish, Phoenix had already taken the baton and left.

"I'll just leave it in your hands then," Osric said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** If I want to catch up, I won't waste time talking to Osric. No offense to him or anything, but he didn't exactly save us any time in this challenge.

* * *

Jasper and Phoenix took care not to fall into any open graves as they followed the blinking lights.

"Ew. Why do they have a cemetery again?" Jasper complained.

"Perfect recreation of Wawanakwa," Phoenix reminded him. "As much as I and several other fans wish Revenge of the Island never happened, it did, so all the locations introduced in that season are still part of the island."

"Makes me wonder if they were always there and just weren't showcased in the first season," Jasper thought aloud.

"I doubt it," Phoenix said dismissively. "Chris would probably want to showcase as much of the island as possible."

"Hey, what's wrong with Revenge of the Island anyway? I liked that one," Jasper frowned.

"Eh, no fan can agree on which seasons they all like," Phoenix shrugged. "I'm one of the few who liked Action."

"I don't understand you at all," Jasper said with a mix between a scoff and a chuckle.

"I don't understand the fanbase as a whole," Phoenix shrugged.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** What? Just because I've got this big facade doesn't mean I can't have a decent conversation with someone.

 **Phoenix:** The Total Drama fanbase is one of the most divisive I've ever seen. And I've seen people debate Legend of Korra ships. Still, everyone's entitled to their opinion as long as they don't shove it down anyone's throat or anything.

* * *

Phoenix arrived at the Chrisiseum, with Jasper trailing not far behind. Kelsey and Ronoc waited at the nearby checkpoint.

Phoenix wordlessly handed his baton to Ronoc.

"And with that, I am off!" Ronoc declared as he handed his cigar to Phoenix. "I won't tell anyone if you won't."

"Um, I'm right here!" Kelsey reminded them. "I could easily tell on you."

"Ah, don't worry. I'm not in the mood to kill my lungs," Phoenix assured her as he dropped the cigar on the ground and stomped it out.

Jasper arrived and handed his baton to Kelsey.

"Well, the sooner I start, the sooner I finish," Kelsey decided as she jogged away.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ronoc:** Phoenix is 17, which is practically legal smoking age. Besides, you don't actually inhale cigar smoke, so they're not nearly as bad for you as cigarettes are. Of course, I'm still being very irresponsible, but hey, it's all just a fanfiction. No actual harm done.

* * *

Ronoc ran up to the boathouse, where Mondo and Ursula awaited their teammates.

"Figured I'd make this a shorter segment," Ronoc said as he handed the baton to Ursula.

"I don't get it," Ursula said flatly.

"Ah, never mind. You should go," Ronoc coaxed her. "Next checkpoint is at the swamp," he whispered.

"Ooh, spooky," Ursula remarked with a grin as she ran off.

"Kelsey won't be here for a while," Ronoc told Mondo. "Might as well go make a confessional."

"That's not going to work," Mondo replied.

"Alright, if you insist," Ronoc shrugged as he pulled a cigar from his pocket and began to smoke it.

* * *

A few minutes later, Mondo wore an incredibly bored and annoyed look on his face.

"I could have made like seven confessionals by now," Mondo remarked.

"Well, the good news is, Kelsey's here now," Ronoc told Mondo.

True to Ronoc's word, Kelsey finally arrived, panting as she weakly handed her baton to Mondo.

"Win this... Mondo!" Kelsey panted before falling to her knees.

"Got it," Mondo said with a nod

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mondo:** I don't actually have anything to say. I just need some closure from that awkward incident.

* * *

Ursula found the checkpoint in the swamp, where Quentin and Warwick awaited.

"Alright. Maintaining that lead," Ursula grinned.

"I shall win this for my subjects!" Warwick declared as he ran off.

Mondo arrived quickly afterward.

"Aw. The lead!" Ursula complained.

"Gay or not, I'm still a part of the football team," Mondo smirked as he handed his baton to Quentin. "I'm a fast runner."

"Hey, thanks," Quentin nodded. "...So where am I going?"

"Follow Warwick," Mondo told him.

"I assume Warwick is the king guy who was just here?" Quentin asked.

"Yes. Let's go," Mondo said, growing impatient.

"Got it," Quentin said as he followed Warwick.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Quentin:** Funny how my name goes between Phoenix's and Ronoc's, but they were both a couple legs ago. Guess that's what happens when most of the people on my team are closer to the start of the alphabet and most of the guys on the other team are near the end.

* * *

Quentin caught up to Warwick as the two ran up the thousand-foot cliff.

"Gasp! How did you catch up to me?!" Warwick gasped.

"I mean, no offense, but you're a bit chubbier than I am," Quentin shrugged. "Also, did you just say 'gasp' instead of actually gasping? That's kinda cool. I'm gonna steal that from you."

"What?! No! That's my thing!" Warwick whined.

"I thought being a king was your thing," Quentin said, somewhat confused.

"That too!" Warwick insisted.

"Well come on. I don't really have much of a thing," Quentin frowned. "I like birds I guess, but that's hardly the biggest thing that defines me.'

"Ugh. Alright, fine!" Warwick conceded. "But I still get to be king!"

"Yeah, sure, go for it," Quentin said as he passed Warwick and made it to the top of the cliff, where Stormy~ and Xingrong stood in wait.

"Kon'nichiwa!" Stormy~ greeted as Quentin handed her the baton. She looked over the cliff to see blinking green lights. "Oooooh. I don't want to get wet."

"I'll hold onto your headphones," Quentin offered.

"You may!" Stormy~ decided as she removed her headphones and handed them to Quentin, who put them on.

"Banzaaaaaaai!" Stormy~ called as she jumped off the cliff and into the water below.

"Hey, she's listening to music. Neat," Quentin said as he put Stormy~'s headphones on. He nodded his head to the beat of the music.

Warwick arrived, somewhat out of breath.

"Ha! You tire after such a simple challenge?!" Xingrong scoffed.

"Shut up! I was running uphill," Warwick pouted.

"What manner of king cannot make such a simple trek?" Xingrong asked.

"The kind who doesn't have a horse!" Warwick insisted.

"More like the kind who is the human equivalent of a bologna and mayonnaise sandwich," Xingrong smirked.

"I... hey, I actually like those. I can't even be offended," Warwick said.

"Of course you like them," Xingrong said condescendingly. "You probably eat them every day!"

"Wrong!" Warwick shouted. "Friday is sandwich day!"

Xingrong gasped dramatically.

"Every day should be sandwich day!" Xingrong insisted.

"Oh, go jump off a cliff," Warwick said dismissively as he handed Xingrong his baton.

"I shall surely reach my checkpoint faster than you could yours," Xingrong boasted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Xingrong:** Warwick was foolish to challenge a dark angel incarnate. He should learn that now before it proves... inconvenient for him.

* * *

By now, Stormy~ had handed her baton to Tori, who waited alongside Yolonda at the beach at the bottom of the cliff.

"Atashi wa anata ga, yoku Tori o okonau negatte imasu!" Stormy~ encouraged.

"I'll assume you said something encouraging and win the challenge for us," Tori said emotionlessly.

"It was, don't worry," Stormy~ giggled.

"What's taking Xingrong?" Yolonda wondered.

"Wow, you're really loud," Stormy~ noted.

"I'm not talking any louder than I normally do," Yolonda said. "You know what? It's because you're not wearing your headphones."

"Could you keep it down please?" Stormy~ frowned.

Just then, Xingrong fell into the water and began to swim to shore.

"How do you swim in that robe anyway?" Yolonda asked.

"Because I am a higher being!" Xingrong bellowed as he handed Yolonda the baton.

"I don't know why I expected a different answer," Yolonda remarked as she took the baton and ran off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Stormy~:** It's kind of weird not having my headphones on. I feel so naked. I should ask Quentin for them back.

 **Quentin:** Surprisingly, her entire playlist seems to be in German.

* * *

Tori had arrived at the checkpoint just outside dodgeball court, where Vardaman and Zarardo waited.

"Here," Tori said simply as she handed Vardaman her baton.

"Thank you kindly," Vardaman said with a tip of his hat as he ran off.

Yolonda sprinted up to the checkpoint.

"I went as fast as I could," Yolonda wheezed as she collapsed on the sand in front of Zarardo.

"I'll do my best to close the gap," Zarardo assured her as he took the baton from Yolonda and ran off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** I hadn't really noticed this before, but I think I may be the physically strongest member of my team. Well that's nice. One less reason for them to vote me out.

* * *

Zarardo caught up to Vardaman.

"Well howdy!" Vardaman said in surprise.

"Sorry, but I don't intend to lose," Zarardo said.

"Yeah, well I don't neither," Vardaman responded.

The two young men ran for the Dock of Shame, where Chris, Lindsay, and several of the campers waited.

"Looks like a close one," Lindsay said in awe.

"I know! The _ratings_!" Chris beamed.

It wasn't long before one of the young men gained a brief lead and managed to set foot onto the Dock first, and that person was...

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"Vardaman makes it! Screaming Italics win Invincibility!" Chris announced.

This was met by cheers from the members of Screaming Italics.

"Killer Boldface, no winning streak for you. I'll be seeing your sorry butts at elimination," Chris continued.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kelsey:** I choose to think that my encouraging Mondo was that extra push we needed to ensure enough of a lead to eventually grant us victory.

 **Cordelia:** Yay! No voting off any of my friends!

 **Warwick:** I blame Xingrong for our loss!

 **Xingrong:** I blame Warwick for our loss!

 **Isidora:** At least I can't be blamed for our loss. _(She shrugs.)_

* * *

Xingrong gathered Isidora and Ronoc to their meeting rock.

"Now, mortals, take heed!" Xingrong commanded. "We shall be voting for Warwick tonight!"

"Oh, are we?" Isidora asked. "Do tell."

"He is an insolent brat who cost us dear time in the challenge which could have been used to win!" Xingrong answered.

"How so?" Isidora asked.

"He wouldn't give me the baton until after a fair bit of argument betwixt us," Xingrong grumbled. "I would have been able to continue sooner had he not done that. Infans stolidus..."

"Xingrong speaks the truth," Ronoc added as he puffed on his cigar.

"So we are in agreement that Warwick should go?" Xingrong asked.

"I believe we are," Ronoc nodded.

"Excellent!" Xingrong chuckled heartily. "Come, Isidora! We shall move on to PB&J with banana!"

"Have fun," Ronoc said as Xingrong dragged a reluctant Isidora away.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Xingrong:** Warwick is little more than a cancerous tumor on our team, and we will be better off without him. What does he add? Two hundred pounds and two brain cells, that's what.

 **Isidora:** Part of me wants to vote for Xingrong because he's really loud and forces me to make sandwiches, but on the other hand, it's not like Warwick's much better, plus I know Xingrong won't vote for me, so there's that.

 **Ronoc:** Fun fact: the author hates bananas. He thinks bananas on a PB &J are a disgrace.

* * *

Warwick and Zarardo met up on top of the cliff.

"So, Your Majesty, how do you wish to vote tonight?" Zarardo asked.

"I have made my decision to banish Xingrong from my kingdom," Warwick stated.

"Xingrong, you say?" Zarardo asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Of course! He has insufferable delusions of grandeur," Warwick stated.

Zarardo glanced at the camera with an amused look on his face.

"Besides, he stalled the challenge," Warwick continued. "He kept taunting me, so I never really had a good chance to give him the baton."

"I shall speak to the others," Zarardo said. "I will ensure that it is so."

"Excellent!" Warwick grinned. "Together, Zarardo, you and I shall rule this game!"

"I look forward to it," Zarardo said with a smirk as he left.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Xingrong's god complex annoys me on multiple levels. The main level being that nobody should be higher in rank than a king! That's just not fair!

 **Zarardo:** _(He is playing with his Fushigi ball.)_ I won't tell him about the alliance until he asks. There's a real chance he forgot that he asked me about that, and if he did, I don't want to risk giving him any ideas that I'm not 100% loyal to him. I'm not, of course, but he doesn't need to know that.

* * *

Osric gathered Genesis, Ursula, and Naomi to the forest.

"Alright, first order of business: I have added Zarardo to the alliance," Osric told the girls.

"Really? 'Cause I don't see him," Naomi pointed out. "Oh. Duh! He's a magician. He probably just disappeared."

"Or maybe a bear ate him," Ursula chuckled.

"I don't know where he is. I just thought I'd let you all know before he goes surprising all of us," Osric continued.

"Aw. Way to spoil the surprise," Naomi pouted

"Should we find him and discuss the vote?" Genesis texted.

"No need," Zarardo said as he approached the four.

"Ah, there you are," Osric smiled. "Have you heard any names going around? I haven't yet, I'm afraid."

"So far the only name I've heard is Xingrong's," Zarardo said.

"Aw. But I like him," Ursula pouted.

"Why?" Genesis texted.

"He's crazy. It's pretty awesome," Ursula chuckled.

Osric exhaled through his nose.

"Xingrong sounds good to me," Osric said. "Agreed?"

"I'm up for it," Zarardo said.

"I'm down," Genesis texted.

"Works for me," Naomi said.

"Ugh. Fine," Ursula grumbled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Osric:** I hear I'm the jealous type. I don't know how true that is, but I do know that any competition for Ursula's heart has to go. That's why I'm voting for Xingrong tonight.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I'll admit, it'd be nice to have even one day without some loser belting about sandwiches all day.

 **Ursula:** I dunno, man. I'm gonna find out who else is getting votes. I'll probably vote for them instead. I'm not about to lose the funniest guy on the island on Day 3.

 **Naomi:** I'm starting to wonder just how fresh you're really eating at Subway. I mean, they just leave the ingredients sitting there out in the open all day until someone asks for them on their sandwich. Doesn't sound all that fresh if you ask me.

* * *

Fauna, Phoenix, and Yolonda, met up in the kitchen.

"Alright, so we're still good for Isidora, right?" Fauna asked.

"Actually, I've heard people mention Warwick and Xingrong as targets tonight, and I'll admit, I'd like to have the two of them broken up," Phoenix stated. "Their constant bickering is not my favorite."

"I do believe they spent more time arguing in the challenge than they did running," Yolonda added. "I saw both of them up on top of the cliff for a good long time before Xingrong jumped into the water."

"Great. So Warwick it is," Fauna decided.

"It can't be Xingrong?" Yolonda asked. "He keeps using up all the bread."

"We're trying to make social progress here!" Fauna reminded her. "How many Asian guys have been on this show before him? Preston? Because that worked out so well."

"They're basically interchangeable, Warwick and Xingrong" Phoenix nodded.

"I guess that's fair," Yolonda said. "Besides, Xingrong's more athletic than Warwick... I think. Hard to tell under his robe."

"So it's settled. Warwick goes," Fauna decided.

"Yes," Phoenix and Yolonda said in unison.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fauna:** If I'm going to make a difference in the world, I'm going to start here. So far only one whitey has been eliminated, and I didn't even play a part in it. I'm going to fix that.

 **Yolonda:** I guess I understand why Fauna wants to vote Warwick over Xingrong, but I still wish I could keep making toast.

 **Phoenix:** For the record, I talked Fauna into letting us out of the kitchen so we could cast our votes. Maybe later I'll convince her to never lock us in there again.

* * *

The twelve members of the Killer Boldface met up at the bonfire pit. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"Welcome to the first ever Killer Boldface elimination ceremony!" Chris announced. "You've cast your votes and made your decisions. When I call your name, come get a marshmallow. Getting a marshmallow means you're safe from elimination. If you don't get a marshmallow, it means you've received the most votes and must leave the game via Elevator of Shame. Got it? Too bad. Anyway, marshmallows go to..."

"Naomi."

"Phoenix."

"Isidora."

"Genesis."

"Zarardo."

"Ronoc."

"Ursula."

"Osric."

"Yolonda."

"Fauna."

Warwick and Xingrong glared at each other.

"Warwick, Xingrong... one of you will be safe tonight," Chris said as he held the final marshmallow in his hand. "The other will be the fourth person voted out of Total Drama Alpha Party. The person who is safe is..."

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"Warwick," Chris finally said.

"Haha!" Warwick said triumphantly as he claimed his marshmallow.

"WHAT?!" Xingrong roared. "How...? How can this be?!"

"By a seven-to-five vote, that's how," Chris said flatly. "Anyway, time for the Elevator of Losers. Anyone who wishes to say goodbye to Xingrong can follow us there."

* * *

Chris, Xingrong, and Warwick all went to the Dock of Shame.

"Is he seriously the only one to see me off?" Xingrong asked.

"Look, Xingrong, I know we've been through a lot," Warwick said. "We've had our disagreements, but in the end, none of that really matters. Because... I totally beat you! Hahaha!"

"I loathe you," Xingrong scowled.

"Well, I'm guessing there won't be as much hugging here as there was last time, so I'll speed things up," Chris said as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors.

"Any last words, dude?" Chris asked Xingrong.

"Only that the human race is incredibly ungrateful!" Xingrong shouted. "I lowered myself to their level to teach them true art, and this is how they repay me?!"

"Silly, Xingrong. Nobody beats a king," Warwick said smugly.

"Alright, Warwick, head to bed," Chris said. "Xingrong, into the Elevator."

Xingrong snarled as he walked into the Elevator of Losers.

"Xingrong, you have finished the game in 23rd place," Chris said.

"I'll see you all in the Styx!" Xingrong said with a dark grin.

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater.

"For the first time this season, we've had a fairly straightforward vote," Chris said to the camera.

"Only two people got votes this time!" Lindsay added as she arrived on scene.

"How will Isidora and Ronoc react to losing their new ally?" Chris asked. "How will Fauna react to the vote not going her way? How will Ursula react now that her ambiguously-possible crush has gone home?"

"Will Amelie learn to make conversation?" Lindsay asked. "Will Kelsey and Mondo make up? Will Tori willingly speak to anyone?"

"I can hardly wait to find out myself," Chris beamed.

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Xingrong:** My vote, of course, goes to Warwick. He does not deserve to be here!

 **Warwick:** Xingrong has some nerve thinking he can outdo me. Well, I'll show him what for!

 **Fauna:** Between Xingrong and Warwick, my vote should be simple. Down with the crackers!

 **Osric:** I'm sorry, Xingrong, but Ursula is my dream girl. I can't have you standing in the way of that.

 **Isidora:** Guess we're voting for Warwick. Eh, why not?

 **Zarardo:** Well, I serve His Majesty Warwick, so I simply must vote for Xingrong. No hard feelings.

 **Yolonda:** Eh, I guess I'll vote for Warwick. For the alliance. Still miss making toast, though.

 **Naomi:** I vote for the X guy whose name I can never remember. I don't want to guess because I'll probably just make things really uncomfortable.

 **Ursula:** Ugh, screw it. If it's between Xingrong and Warwick, I'm voting Warwick. He's such a tryhard.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Goodbye, Xingrong, you obnoxious twit.

 **Ronoc:** I vote for Xingrong. Sorry, Isidora, but he was a red herring. We'll find more allies. Better allies.

 **Phoenix:** From what I've seen, which isn't much, mind you, Xingrong speaks with Isidora and Ronoc a lot. I fear they may be in an alliance, and any alliance competition would be bad for us, so I'm going to have to vote for Xingrong. Like I said, I'm playing logically, and logically, this is the best move for me.

* * *

 _A/N: While Xingrong was a lot of fun to write, I knew his shtick would get annoying really fast if I kept him around for too long, so he was doomed to be an early boot. From what I could tell, he wasn't very popular, so I don't think him leaving will be a huge loss for the readers. If you did like him, sorry, but this is where he goes._


	5. Ep 04: Forest Fighters

_A/N: So... how about the weather? I live in California, so it's actually not that great over here, what with the drought and all. Hope it's better where you guys are._

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, our campers participated in a relay race for Invincibility," Chris recapped. "Some of them, like Tori and Yolonda, proved to be quite helpful towards their team, while others, like Kelsey and Warwick, definitely slowed things down."

"That's why I always listen to my dietician," Lindsay said matter-of-factly. "So I don't gain enough weight to slow everyone down."

"I'm sure that makes sense in your mind, so let's move on," Chris remarked. "On the Screaming Italics, Hugh roped Stormy~ into an alliance, Jasper continued to pick on Vardaman, Amelie chickened out of talking with Ephraim, Quentin made friends with Tori, and the Kelsey/Mondo duo got into this big fight about leadership."

"How do you remember all that?" Lindsay asked.

"Um, hello? I'm awesome," Chris boasted with a wide grin to the camera.

"That's a lot of stuff though," Lindsay said.

"Well yeah, a lot of stuff happens when the number of campers is still as high as it is," Chris said. "On the Killer Boldface, Xingrong took control of Isidora's and Ronoc's alliance, Zarardo joined up with Osric's alliance in order to help his own alliance with Warwick, Genesis and Naomi chatted a little, Ursula teased Osric a lot, and Fauna proved once again how way-too-seriously she's taking the whole race thing by locking her alliance in the kitchen and refusing to let them out. Whatever happened to the good old days of racism when anyone could be racist and not just crazy people?"

Lindsay activated Chris's shock collar.

"Ugh. Kids these days are way too PC," Chris grumbled as he rubbed his neck. "Anyway, the Killer Boldface lost the challenge, and Warwick and Xingrong had already made targets of themselves with their loud boasting about their own perceived superiority."

"Ummmm...?" Lindsay said, confused.

"They got votes because they were annoying," Chris clarified.

"Okay, yeah, that makes sense," Lindsay smiled.

"In the end, Phoenix, Ronoc and Ursula all turned on their alliances, and Xingrong ended up with the most votes, sending the sandwich maniac down to Elevator Street."

"Street? I thought it was on the Dock of Shame," Lindsay pointed out.

"It's a figure of speech, Lindsay," Chris sighed. "Anyway, both teams have their share of drama going on, and the same number of players to boot. Which team will emerge victorious this time? The answers to this question and more, right here, on Total!"

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

Ronoc led Isidora through the forest.

"So where are you taking me?" Isidora asked.

"I promised I'd get us more allies, so that's what I'm doing," Ronoc answered.

"When did you promise that?" Isidora asked.

"During the vo- uh, trust me, I promised it," Ronoc insisted. "And I don't go back on my promises. Unless I, like, physically can't do what I promised."

"Right. And how's going through the forest going to find us more allies?" Isidora asked.

"The answer should become apparent right about... now," Ronoc said as the two exited the forest, finding themselves at the start of the path up the thousand-foot cliff.

"We're going up the cliff?" Isidora asked. "Isn't that where Warwick and Zarardo usually hang out?"

"Exactly," Ronoc said as he took a puff of his cigar.

"Ew. Okay. Why are we aligning with them?" Isidora asked.

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing," Ronoc said. "I, uh, may not be the author, but, uh, let's just say he and I get along pretty well. I know what he wants."

"I still don't get what the whole 'author' thing is about. And I spend my free time _reading_ ," Isidora said.

"You're not really supposed to understand it," Ronoc shrugged. "Now let's go. We have to give the others screentime too, you know."

"Don't rush me. I'm not exactly an Olympic hiker," Isidora said as she leaned against a tree exhaustedly. "Besides, isn't that for the editors to decide?"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I don't really understand why Ronoc does half of what he does, but he saves me the trouble of having to meet people on my own, so I guess there's that. I still wish he wasn't so shifty though.

 **Ronoc:** Little does she know, the author is also the editor.

* * *

Isidora and Ronoc made it to the top of the cliff, where Warwick and Zarardo were.

"Yes! The banishment of Xingrong is only the first step in establishing my conquest!" Warwick bragged. "Soon, all shall bow to the mighty reign of Warwick Sadalfas!"

"Indeed," Zarardo smirked. "Who should be our next target?"

"Why, whoever dares to oppose me, of course!" Warwick declared.

"Has nobody opposed you since Xingrong?" Zarardo asked. "Looks like you're doing an excellent job already."

"Ha! Of course I am," Warwick sneered. He then took notice of Isidora and Ronoc. "How long have you two been here?"

"Whichever option is funniest, I guess," Ronoc shrugged.

"I assume you're here to grovel at my might, that I may spare you," Warwick stated.

"Almost," Isidora said, giving Ronoc a side-eye as he went down on his knees. "Get up."

Ronoc got up.

"We're here to ask to join your alliance," Isidora said.

"Hm. You're actually the first ones to do so since Zarardo," Warwick pointed out. "You're both smarter than I thought. You know what? You're in! Welcome to the royal council!"

"I appreciate it, Your Majesty," Ronoc grinned.

"It's a pleasure to have you on our side," Zarardo said.

"Believe me, the pleasure's all mine," Isidora said unconvincingly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** My alliance already seems to be expanding now that Xingrong's gone. You see, that's what being in power does. It gets people to want to be on your side. Luckily for those two, I was feeling generous, so I let them in.

 **Zarardo:** My, my. If I'm not mistaken, the only people on this team I'm _not_ aligned with are Fauna's alliance. This leaves them open as targets, but I'm going to save Fauna for last, if only because of her hidden idol. But who to lose first: Phoenix or Yolonda? That is the question.

* * *

Vardaman met up with Jasper in the boys' cabin.

"Ooh, you wanted to meet with me privately in the boys' cabin?" Jasper asked flirtatiously. "Whatever could this be for?"

"Look. I can sense some tension between us," Vardaman said. "I don't know if I said or did anything that indicated that I was interested in you, but I'm afraid I'm not. I'm sorry."

"Oh, don't flatter yourself, hun," Jasper chuckled. "I'm not interested in you either."

"Really?" Vardaman asked, surprised. "Then why are you flirting with me?"

"What's wrong with me flirting with you?" Jasper asked.

"Well... why do it if you ain't interested in me?" Vardaman asked.

"Just having some fun," Jasper giggled. "Nothing wrong with that."

"Well, it's making me kind of uncomfortable, so if you'd stop, I'd appreciate it," Vardaman said awkwardly.

"Oh, so my sexuality makes you uncomfortable?" Jasper asked, now angry.

"Th-That ain't what I said!" Vardaman said defensively.

"Well that's what I heard," Jasper frowned. "I'm disappointed, Vardaman. I thought you were better than that. I can only imagine how poor Cordy's going to feel when she finds out."

"Now you don't have to do that," Vardaman said nervously.

"Oh, did I hit a nerve?" Jasper asked. "Oh, of course! Why else would a homophobe hang out with a gay man except to get into the pants of his adorable best girl friend?"

"Uh, well..." Vardaman blushed. "I'd be more of a gentleman than that... And I ain't a homophobe!"

"That's exactly what a homophobe would say," Jasper said with a shake of his head as he left the cabin. "I'm ashamed, Vardaman. Truly, I am."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** _(He's chewing on a tongue depressor.)_ Well, that went about the opposite of how I wanted it to go. And now Jasper knows I like Cordelia... well can you blame me?

 **Jasper:** Oh, you know I'm going to milk this for all it's worth. I'm basically going make Vardaman my bitch for as long as I can. That'll show him not to mess with the LGBT crowd. _(He scoffs.)_

* * *

Fauna found Phoenix and Yolonda relaxing in the mess hall.

"Come on. We're going to the kitchen," Fauna ordered.

"Nah," Phoenix objected.

"Excuse me?!" Fauna snapped.

"I'd rather not be locked up for the entire morning to be entirely honest," Phoenix said.

"I'm with him, honestly," Yolonda agreed.

"Um, do you _want_ to be oppressed?" Fauna asked.

"No. That's why I'm not listening to you," Phoenix said smugly.

"How am _I_ oppressing _you_?" Fauna asked.

"By forcing us to obey you against our will with little rhyme or reason," Phoenix explained. "Really, what you're doing is no better than what the white people did to our ancestors."

Fauna was stunned into silence.

"Don't you think that was a bit harsh?" Yolonda asked Phoenix.

"Any more harsh than she's been to us?" Phoenix asked.

"Eh, good point," Yolonda conceded.

"...I need to go," Fauna said. "Er... don't go anywhere. Please."

Fauna left the room.

"What'd I tell you? Logic always wins in the end," Phoenix bragged to Yolonda.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Yolonda:** I don't think being rude to someone who wrongs you makes you any better than they were to you... I realize I was quite like that to David last season, but all has been apologized for.

 **Phoenix:** Sometimes all it takes to make progress is to be brutally honest, hurt feelings be damned.

 **Fauna:** ...I can't be like the white people... They're the oppressors. I'm doing racial relations a favor here! ...So why can't I think of any sort of refutation for what Phoenix said? Ugggh!

* * *

Kelsey found Mondo at the Dock of Shame

"There you are!" Kelsey called. "Where have you been?" she asked, annoyed.

"I just finished running a lap around the island, as is my morning workout," Mondo said.

"You were late for our alliance meeting," Kelsey frowned.

"Are we still doing those?" Mondo asked. "I thought that, after I decided I didn't need someone else to lead me, we'd ended that whole thing."

"Everyone needs a leader," Kelsey said. "Except of course the leaders themselves, and even then, one could argue that they're leading themselves."

"Well, I'm my own leader," Mondo said defiantly. "Sorry, but I don't need you."

"What are you talking about?! Everyone needs me!" Kelsey insisted.

"Who was the last person who asked you for advice of any sort?" Mondo asked.

"Well, Naomi always needs my help getting out of the bunk," Kelsey grumbled. "Why, oh why, did she have to have a top bunk?"

"See, and she's not even on our team," Mondo pointed out. "What kind of team leader are you?"

"Sh-Sh-Shut up!" Kelsey snapped, tears in her eyes.

Mondo was visibly taken aback when he noticed Kelsey on the verge of tears.

"Well, uh, I'm going to get a drink of water," Mondo said. "Have fun... not leading things."

As Mondo jogged off, Kelsey let a few tears escape her eyes..

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mondo:** Well that was about seven flavors of awkward. I have to admit, I didn't expect Kelsey of all people to be the first one here to cry. Didn't know it meant _that_ much to her. But I can't let her hold me back, no matter how hard she begs. I can't prove my strength when someone's always telling me what to do.

 **Kelsey:** Okay, no, I'm not really in charge of anything right now, but I don't see how that's my fault. The challenges haven't required a leader yet, and nobody on my team ever needs my help with anything. Mondo didn't have to rub it in. _(She sniffles.)_ Jerk.

* * *

Naomi whizzed through the forest on her skates, weaving through several trees, until she accidentally crashed into one of the trees.

"Aw, shoot," Naomi pouted as she fell to her bottom. "At least no one saw that. Well, except Ursula."

"What the?" Ursula's voice asked from a nearby bush. She stood up and revealed herself. "How'd you know I was here?"

"I didn't. I usually just assume you're somewhere in the forest, skulking about. I just got lucky," Naomi said innocently.

"Come on! How am I supposed to scare you if you know I'm coming?" Ursula asked as she sat next to Naomi.

"Why do you want to scare me?" Naomi asked. "Aren't we friends?"

"I mean, I guess we're in the same alliance, but it's not like we talk a lot," Ursula shrugged. "Besides, I like to scare everyone. If people know I'm targeting them specifically, they'll expect it, and you can't be scared if you're expecting to be. Like you. So I guess there's no point in scaring you anymore."

"Unless you're just saying that so I stay off my guard so you can keep scaring me," Naomi said savvily.

"Maybe. Or maybe I'm just using really advanced reverse psychology. Who knows?" Ursula snickered.

Naomi's face became terrified and she began to squeal in fright as she stood up and skated away.

Ursula chuckled to herself. "Gotta love mind games."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** Scaring people is all about getting inside their heads. Sure, you can just dump centipedes on them, and that'll probably scar them for life, but I find that the most effective scares are the ones that aren't tangible. Case in point: paranoia.

 **Naomi:** _(She is whispering.)_ She's watching the confessional, isn't she? Nothing is sacred.

* * *

Hugh and Stormy~ met up at the pet cemetery.

"Why are we in such a scary place?" Stormy~ asked.

"So no one will follow us here," Hugh said with a dark grin. "Now, I probably wouldn't be too crazy in saying you probably want Cordelia gone."

"Why would I want her gone? She seems very nice," Stormy~ frowned.

"You voted for her the other day!" Hugh pointed out.

"I know, but... why would I do that?" Stormy~ asked herself.

"Because she has a way of getting in people's heads and making them do what she wants. That's how she got rid of Bijou at all, artard," Hugh explained. "You voted for her out of faith to Bijou, but now that Bijou's gone, Cordelia's probably done her weird thing and gotten you to like her again."

"It's not my fault she's so likable!" Stormy~ said defensively.

"That's why she needs to go. She's going to take control of the whole game if we let her stay like this. And I have a plan," Hugh snickered.

"I don't like the sound of that," Stormy~ said.

"Let me have your hidden statue," Hugh said.

"What?! No!" Stormy~ gasped.

"Trust me. I'm going to pick on Cordelia publically, thus making me a pariah among the team," Hugh grinned. "Everyone will vote for me, except for the two of us. We'll vote for Cordelia. I'll play the statue, all votes for me won't count, and that little chipmunk will leave."

"Aww. Chipmunks are cute," Stormy~ chirped.

"So give me your statue," Hugh demanded.

"But it's mine! I got it fair and square! And I want to stay in the game so I get publicity!" Stormy~ insisted.

"You can't do that if your only ally gets voted out, artard," Hugh pointed out. "No one's going to vote for you. Trust me."

"I don't trust you," Stormy~ frowned.

"Ugh. Fine. Your loss, bitch," Hugh said as he jogged off, giving Stormy~ the middle finger as he did so.

"Wait! I don't know my way back!" Stormy~ called.

"Not my problem," Hugh scoffed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Girls like a guy who takes charge, which is why I'm taking the reigns of this alliance slash future relationship. Stormy~ will listen to me sooner or later, whether she knows it or not. She's nothing without me.

 **Stormy~:** I don't understand Hugh. Why is he so awful to me if he wants me to listen to him? It doesn't make any sense.

* * *

Osric found Genesis fiddling with her phone at the campfire.

"Hey, Genesis, can we talk?" Osric asked.

Genesis raised an eyebrow at Osric.

"You know what I mean," Osric facepalmed.

"What is it?" Genesis texted.

"You're a girl, right?" Osric asked.

"Well, you have a 50/50 shot there," Genesis texted, a sardonic look on her face.

"I know, I'm terrible with words," Osric sighed. "Look, I have a crush on a girl here, and I'd just like to ask for some advice."

"Just to get it out of the way: are you crushing on me?" Genesis texted.

"No, no. It's Ursula," Osric assured her. "I feel like Ursula sees me more as a brother than a potential boyfriend, and it's killing me. I really like her a lot."

"Well, if she sees you as a brother, there's not much you can do. Unless she's into that kind of thing," Genesis texted with a wry smile.

"So I basically have no chance with her?" Osric asked, disappointed.

"Never say never," Genesis texted. "If you want some real advice, just be subtle. Give small hints that you'd be interested, and don't say anything weird."

"Subtlety isn't really my strongest suit," Osric said. "But heck, I'll give it a try. Thanks."

"What else am I here for?" Genesis texted as she silently chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Osric:** You know, I'm glad I got such nice people in my alliance. Genesis was so supportive. It was nice.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Yeah, he has no chance. She's too good for him.

* * *

Amelie paced anxiously back and forth at the beach.

"Come on, where's Ephraim?" Amelie asked herself. "He's usually here by now. Did he get jumped? He probably did. I bet twelve guys all dog-piled onto him and stabbed him thirty-seven times in the chest!"

"I doubt it," Ephraim said as he arrived at the beach alongside Cordelia.

"Oh, did you find a new friend? I understand," Amelie moped. "I know I'm kind of awful to be around. Thanks for letting me know now instead of later."

"Wow, it's worse than I thought!" Cordelia exclaimed. She walked up to Amelie and gave her a hug.

"I don't have anything in my back pockets for you to steal," Amelie whimpered.

"I asked Cordelia to join us today because she's the friendliest girl on the island," Ephraim explained. "I feel that if you'd be comfortable holding a conversation with anyone, it'd be her."

"It's okay. I don't bite," Cordelia smiled.

"Um... um... um..." Amelie stammered.

"Why don't you ask me something about myself?" Cordelia suggested.

"So, um... what's your... favorite color?" Amelie asked. "That's stupid," she scolded herself.

"No it's not," Cordelia said encouragingly. "My favorite color is pink. Just like my top. I picked this one out specifically because I really like this shade. What about you? Did you pick yours because you really like dark blue?"

"I... didn't really put much thought into it. I'm sorry," Amelie frowned. "I'm sorry, I can't do this." Amelie began to cry as she walked away.

"Well, you tried," Ephraim said to Cordelia, whose eyes had gone vacuous.

"...She just walked away from me. How unfriendly," Cordelia droned. "I did my best for her and she just blew me off."

"She's just trying to get the hang of things," Ephraim said.

"She's mean," Cordelia continued. "I don't think I like her very much."

Ephraim didn't have a response to that.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ephraim:** I'm trying, I really am, but Amelie's making this really difficult. I get what her dad was going for when he signed her up for this game, but it doesn't seem to be going as he planned.

 **Amelie:** Cordelia probably hates me now. And I bet Ephraim's really just annoyed by me and is just too polite to say so.

 **Cordelia:** _(Her eyes are vacuous.)_ I don't like Amelie. I don't like Amelie at all. Maybe we can vote for her if we lose.

* * *

Quentin found Tori in the forest once again. The latter was punching repeatedly at a tree.

"Hey, Tori, how's it going?" Quentin asked.

"I'm trying to knock this tree down with my bare fists," Tori responded bluntly.

"Cool. Why?" Quentin asked curiously.

"To prove that I can," Tori scoffed. "No ordinary woman could snap a tree without any tools. No man could do so either. But I am no ordinary woman."

"How much progress have you made?" Quentin asked.

"I've made a considerable dent in the bark," Tori responded.

"Doesn't that hurt, by the way?" Quentin asked.

"You ask a lot of questions," Tori pointed out.

"Do I?" Quentin asked. "...Huh, I guess I do. I guess I'm just a curious guy. Well, not _that_ kind of curious. I like girls way too much."

"Thanks for sharing," Tori said sarcastically. "So, was there something you wanted from me?"

"Just felt like hanging out," Quentin shrugged. "We're friends, right?"

"I suppose we are," Tori said with a slight smile.

"So, remind me why you're working to be so strong again," Quentin requested.

"I never told you why I am," Tori pointed out.

"Oh. Well, why is it?" Quentin asked.

"We may be friends, but I only share that information with those I really trust," Tori stated. "I've known you for four days."

"Fair enough," Quentin said. "So, what do you think of the rest of our team?"

"I don't know them well enough to hold a strong opinion," Tori stated. "That Asian girl, Anika, I think her name is, seems incredibly weak. I don't care for her."

"Amelie? Yeah, she doesn't really talk to anyone but Ephraim," Quentin mused. "I think she's just shy."

"She'll never survive in the real world if she keeps it up," Tori said bluntly.

"I try not to think so negatively," Quentin smiled. "Take birds for instance. They aren't the strongest creatures around, but they sing beautiful songs for all to enjoy."

"If you think birds are weak, you've clearly never encountered a chicken," Tori smirked. "No matter how strong one gets, scratches still hurt quite a bit."

"Attention, campers!" Chris's voice rang over the intercom. "It's now time for your next challenge! Meet me at the campsite for details!"

"We should probably get to that," Quentin said. "But hey, it was fun talking to you."

"You as well," Tori said truthfully.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Quentin:** I do understand why Tori can be so aloof, but she can be fun to talk to if you really take the time to.

 **Tori:** Why Quentin chose me as a friend, I'll never know, but I'm both gracious and wary. Gracious that he gives good conversation, but wary because I know that some people pretend to be nice to get people to vote with them.

* * *

The twenty-two campers arrived at the campsite to see Chris and Lindsay standing near the entrance of the forest.

"Welcome, one and all, to the next challenge!" Chris greeted.

"Someone seems excited," Mondo remarked.

"I just had a latte. Sue me," Chris shrugged.

"I'm sure many people have tried," Yolonda chuckled.

"You guys are going to need these," Lindsay said as she handed Kelsey and Zarardo each a piece of paper.

The two looked at their pieces of paper to see what looked to be a map of the forest, with the team emblems on either side.

"A map of the forest?" Kelsey asked.

"Correctamundo, Kelsey," Chris winked. "Your challenge will consist of two phases. The first phase will last half an hour and will require you to find your station in the forest and use the building materials located there to build a sturdy tower. During the second phase, you'll be given these nifty things."

Chris pulled a brightly-colored rifle from behind his back.

"A squirt gun?" Naomi asked.

"Close," Chris said before firing the gun at Ronoc, launching a water balloon at him, covering him in paint as it exploded.

"You guys will use these paint balloon cannons to knock over the opposing team's tower," Chris explained. "You can also use it to defend your tower. The team who succeeds in knocking over the other team's tower first will win Invincibility. Plus, as an added bonus, there's also a reward for this challenge. The team who has the fewest contestants with paint on them in the end will win a nice dinner cruise before the elimination ceremony, so even if you lose Invincibility, there's still a chance you can still get something out of this."

"Why the sudden generosity?" Osric asked suspiciously.

"I've decided to drop rewards in a few challenges, just as a nice surprise," Chris shrugged.

"It was my idea," Lindsay said. "I was told I could shock him as much as I wanted if he didn't go through with it."

"I have yet to see this in writing with a signature from the higher-ups, but even if there isn't, that probably wouldn't stop her," Chris sighed. "Besides, I feel it'll add more to the season as a whole. Give you guys more incentive to play a little dirtier in the challenge."

"Hey, if the team with the fewest splattered people gets it, shouldn't one of them get painted?" Fauna asked as she gestured at the Screaming Italics. "You already shot the douchebag ginger."

"Hm. Good point," Chris conceded. He took aim and shot a balloon at Amelie.

"There. Now we're even," Chris grinned.

Lindsay was about to activate Chris's shock collar, but he interrupted her.

"Why shock me for shooting her when you didn't shock me for shooting him?" Chris asked. "Double standard much?"

"Huh..." Lindsay said thoughtfully as she pocketed the remote.

"Anyway, the first phase of the challenge starts... now!" Chris announced as he pressed a button on his watch. "Go go go!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I like to think I'm a fairly handy guy. Comes from maintaining the barn growing up. I reckon I could build us a nice tower.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I'll admit, I'm not sure how helpful I can be in this one. Either I do it all one-handed, or I don't use my phone at all and thus am unable to communicate effectively. Huh. For once my disability is proving to be a disability.

 **Stormy~:** I've never built anything before. I have gone paintballing before, but I think that's different from paint-ballooning.

 **Zarardo:** If only I could use magic to build us a tower. Alas, magic is not real. I may be a magician, but truthfully, we perform illusions, not magic. The key is to make it seem like magic rather than an illusion. _(He procures his Fushigi ball seemingly from thin air.)_ Like so.

* * *

The Killer Boldface went on their way to the eastern side of the forest.

"You know, I don't really understand why we get a map when there's nothing but trees around here," Phoenix pointed out as he guided the team using the map. "It's not like there are really any landmarks we can go off of."

"We'll get there. Don't worry," Ronoc assured him.

"Why does he get to hold the map? I wanna hold the map," Warwick whined.

"We're giving him a false sense of security, Your Majesty," Zarardo assured him. "So he'll be off his guard when we vote him out."

"Ah, I see..." Warwick sniggered. "Very well then! He may continue!"

"Who may continue what?" Naomi asked.

"Never you mind, whelp!" Warwick snapped back.

"Heheh. 'Whelp' is a funny word," Naomi giggled. "Whelp. Whelp. Wwwwwwhelp."

"Remind me to never teach her words again," Warwick grumbled to Zarardo as Naomi continued to experiment with different ways to say "whelp".

Meanwhile, Isidora strolled next to Genesis.

"So... ready any good books lately?" Isidora asked half-heartedly.

"I'm afraid I don't read many books," Genesis texted. "I did read some Total Drama fanfiction in preparation for this game, however."

"Gross. Isn't fanfiction, like, making the characters screw or something?" Isidora grimaced.

"Not this kind. Some people make up their own casts for a hypothetical season of Total Drama," Genesis texted.

"Why?" Isidora asked.

"It's fun," Genesis texted with a shrug.

"Eh, if you insist," Isidora dismissed.

Osric walked alongside Ursula.

"So..." Osric started.

"So?" Ursula asked.

"How's your day been?" Osric asked.

"Well, I got to mentally scar Naomi, so that was fun," Ursula snickered. "What about you?"

"Oh, I've just been thinking," Osric said, his tone implying he wanted Ursula dig deeper.

"About...?" Ursula asked, slightly annoyed.

"Dating," Osric said. "I mean, haha, what is it about this show that gets people to date? I mean, without fail, every season has had at least one relationship. How does that work?"

"Because it's full of hormonal teenagers, I guess," Ursula shrugged.

"What about you? You hoping to get a relationship in this game?" Osric asked.

Ursula raised an eyebrow at Osric. "Are you hitting on me?" she asked.

"What? No. Of course not," Osric chuckled nervously. "I mean, not that you're not worth hitting on. I was just saying, you know? Making... conversation. ...I'll go talk to someone else."

In the back of the group, Fauna talked with Yolonda.

"How am I supposed to get rid of these white people if Phoenix won't listen to me?" Fauna scoffed.

"Try getting him to listen to you," Yolonda suggested.

"You think I haven't been trying?" Fauna asked. "He's just so closed-minded."

"Right..." Yolonda said awkwardly. "Well, if I may make a suggestion: if we lose tonight, don't lock us up. That way we can talk to the others and try to get them to vote off someone white."

"They shouldn't really need convincing, but then Xingrong left last night, so I guess I just gave our teammates too much credit," Fauna spat. "Alright, fine. I'll stop locking us up."

"Good to know," Yolonda chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** Somehow we did manage to find our way to where we were supposed to go... even though I gave up on using the map a long time ago. Weird.

 **Warwick:** Naomi needs to go if we leave. I don't want her "whelp"ing all over the place.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I don't just read fanfiction. I also edgic it. Edgicking is when you make a chart keeping track of how each contestant is portrayed in each episode and using that to figure out who's going to win. Here's hoping I'm already on someone's contender list.

 **Osric:** _Nailed_ it. _(He facepalms.)_

 **Yolonda:** While I don't really approve of ethnic cleansing, I don't really think I'm in any position to flip on Fauna without making myself a target. Maybe when the numbers thin out a bit. Until then, I'll do my best to keep Fauna from going _too_ crazy.

* * *

The Screaming Italics, meanwhile, went on their way to the western side of the forest.

"Alright, gang. I don't want to waste any time, so we should decide who's going to take down the Killer Boldface tower and who's going to stay here and defend ours," Kelsey told the team as she led them with the map in hand.

"I could take down the opponents' tower singlehandedly," Tori boasted.

"That may be, but we should send more than one person, for security's sake," Kelsey said. "Vardaman, Mondo, why don't you join her?"

"I can do that," Vardaman nodded.

"Might as well," Mondo shrugged.

"Don't get in my way," Tori told the two boys.

"Only if you don't get in mine," Mondo told Tori.

"We could split up," Vardaman suggested. "That way we don't get in anyone's way."

"I like this idea," Tori smirked.

"As do I," Mondo nodded.

"Great. You guys can split up," Kelsey said. "Of course, this is all _after_ you help build our tower. Don't forget that."

"I didn't, don't worry," Vardaman smiled.

Cordelia and Jasper walked behind this foursome, whispering to each other.

"I feel safe knowing Vardy is here to help us win," Cordelia smiled.

"Yeah, he sure is something alright," Jasper responded with a suspicious smile.

"Ooooh, do you _like_ him? That is so cute!" Cordelia squeed.

"No, no, I don't think I could bring myself to like someone like him," Jasper said wistfully.

"Really? Why not?" Cordelia asked.

"Between you and me, I don't think he's very comfortable with my life choices," Jasper said.

"Why? What'd you do?" Cordelia asked innocently.

"I'm saying he's uncomfortable with my sexuality," Jasper whispered.

Cordelia's eyes went vacuous. Jasper snickered to himself.

Ephraim, meanwhile, hovered over Hugh's shoulder.

"Can you not?" Hugh asked impatiently.

"Just keeping an eye on you," Ephraim told him. "I don't want you doing anything rash."

"I might start doing something rash if you don't leave me alone," Hugh scoffed.

"You guys should have more faith in each other," Quentin said as he walked up to the two. "Ephraim, when was the last time you saw Hugh do anything you didn't like?"

"I saw him lead Stormy~ into the forest this morning," Ephraim said.

"Uh, maybe Stormy~ and I are friends, artard," Hugh spat.

"Hugh, you should probably stop calling people 'artard'," Quentin suggested.

"Yeah, that ain't happening," Hugh said with a malicious smile.

"I don't trust that someone like Stormy~ would willingly hang out with someone like Hugh," Ephraim leered.

"I see..." Quentin said, disappointed, as he walked ahead of the two.

Amelie hung in the back of the group, looking around.

"No wild animals yet... yet," Amelie said nervously.

"Are you sure there are any wild animals in the forest?" Stormy~ asked her.

"Didn't Tori fight a bear?" Amelie asked. "And Quentin always says he sees birds in here."

"Isn't the bear always in his cave? And birds aren't scary," Stormy~ chuckled.

"Not until they peck your eyes in and tear you to ribbons with their talons!" Amelie squealed.

"Is that what birds are like in Canada? Oh no!" Stormy~ gasped. "Is that why Americans always make fun of you guys?"

Amelie began to cry. Stormy began to cry as well and pulled Amelie in for a hug. Amelie cried harder.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kelsey:** I'm actually in charge of this challenge! It feels... divine.

 **Cordelia:** _(Her eyes are vacuous.)_ I don't think Vardaman is really that friendly. Who cares who Jasper loves? That's none of Vardaman's business. I don't want to be his friend anymore...

 **Hugh:** I'm this close to changing my alliance's target to Ephraim, I swear.

 **Amelie:** I should have realized the entire American fanbase hates me by default for being Canadian. Why am I even still here? _(She sniffles.)_

* * *

The Killer Boldface arrived at their designated station, which was filled with lots of tools, building supplies, and a flag which sported their team emblem.

"So, how should we build our tower?" Osric asked. "Obviously we're going to want to make it sturdy, but it should still qualify as a tower."

"Two of us should build the base, while the rest of us should work on individual pieces of the tower," Ronoc suggested. "Naomi, would you like to work on the base with me?"

"Uh, sure, okay?" Naomi said, slightly confused.

"Right then! The rest of us shall each work on building our own piece of the regal tower!" Warwick declared.

"Hey, we don't have to listen to you white people!" Fauna snapped. "I know you don't care about what the minorities think, but this is still a team effort!"

"Then what would you suggest we do?" Genesis texted.

"Er..." Fauna started. "I can't think of anything off the top of my head. But if I do, y'all better listen!"

"As if we have a choice," Isidora muttered with a roll of her eyes.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** I wonder why Ronoc wanted me to work with him. It's not like he and I talk to each other that much... or ever. _(She gasps.)_ Do you think he has a crush on me? How weird.

 **Yolonda:** I do wish Fauna would stop taking everything so personally. Of all the people to end up with a hidden statue...

 **Osric:** If you're expecting me to get jealous of Naomi, it isn't happening. She's cute, but my heart belongs to Ursula. Probably literally, knowing how brutal she likes to get. _(He sighs lovingly.)_ I know I said she's an alliance member first and a potential girlfriend second, but... _(He sighs lovingly.)_

* * *

As soon as the Screaming Italics arrived at their designated station, Vardaman grabbed a long plank and began using it as a makeshift shovel to dig into the ground.

"Uh... what are you doing?" Ephraim asked.

"Diggin' a hole for us to build the foundation in," Vardaman explained. "It'll be a lot sturdier if we start building from a bit underground instead of right on top of it."

"Excellent idea, Vardaman," Kelsey complimented. "Do you need any sort of help with that?"

"Maybe one more person could help," Vardaman shrugged.

"I'll do it," Tori said as she grabbed a plank identical to the one Vardaman used and joined him in digging.

"Mighty kind of you," Vardaman said with a tip of his hat.

"Don't mention it," Tori said dismissively.

"So, do we just wait for them to finish?" Quentin asked.

"Of course not," Kelsey said with a shake of her head. "We're going to get to work on the tower itself while they're doing that. I'm thinking a half meter in width and depth, however high we can in length."

"Works for me, babe," Jasper agreed. The others all nodded.

"Alright. Chop-chop, people," Kelsey said as she clapped her hands.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** I know bad boys don't listen to authority, but bad boys also know not to throw the challenge until they have their alliance-mate's idol. I'll bide my time.

 **Mondo:** I bet Kelsey's ecstatic that she can finally boss people around. Like with Jasper, I'm starting to think I should get rid of her for the sake of being able to play _my_ game the way _I_ want.

 **Stormy~:** I don't see any problem in having a leader. They keep you together and prevent you from ending up as a washed-up has-been who sings on the streets for spare change. That's what my agent told me, anyway.

* * *

"Attention, campers!" Lindsay announced over the intercom. "Your thirty minutes of building time is up! Time to start going for the other team's guys!"

"Shoot, we don't have a gameplan yet do we?" Phoenix asked.

"Why don't you guys just bum-rush them?" Ronoc suggested.

"'You guys'?" Genesis texted. "Are you not included in that?"

"Nope. Isidora, Naomi, and I will stick behind and guard the tower," Ronoc explained.

"It's as good a plan as any, I'd say," Yolonda shrugged.

"We don't really have time to dawdle around and think of another one," Isidora stated.

"A point well made," Zarardo nodded. "Onwards!"

The eight contestants who weren't guarding the tower charged ahead.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ronoc:** I should be surprised that everyone just went along with what I had to say, but then I remembered the author can make anything happen. Anyway, time for strategery.

* * *

"Remind me who we decided would go to attack the other team?" Ephraim inquired Kelsey.

"Tori, Mondo, and Vardaman," Kelsey listed.

"So all the physical threats minus me?" Ephraim asked.

"You're a bouncer. You're perfect for defense," Kelsey said. "Besides, you don't strike me as the type to make the first blow."

"Good point."

"Well, we'd best be off," Vardaman said to Mondo and Tori.

"Then let's be off," Mondo said as he jogged ahead, Tori and Vardaman right behind him.

There was a silence.

"Let's have a singalong!" Stormy~ suggested.

"Yaaaay!" Cordelia and Jasper cheered.

"I will literally slit my wrists and bleed all over you if you so much warm your vocal cords up," Hugh said grumpily.

"Awww," Stormy~ pouted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I'm a pretty awful singer anyway.

* * *

The offense team on Killer Boldface made their way through the forest.

"So why did we listen to that ginger kid when I'm the one in charge here?" Warwick asked.

"Yeah, who put him in charge?" Fauna huffed. "Let a person of color lead the charge for once!"

"Why don't you lead our squadron then?" Zarardo suggested.

"Okay!" Warwick and Fauna agreed at once. They realized what the other had said and glared at each other.

"Oh boy," Osric remarked to Genesis and Ursula.

"At least we're not anyone's first choice of target," Genesis texted.

"Good point," Ursula nodded.

"Why don't the both of you lead us?" Yolonda suggested to Warwick and Fauna.

"Because I'm the rightful king!" Warwick whined.

"Because I'm not willing to compromise this," Fauna huffed.

"Let's have Zarardo lead us," Yolonda said. "He's affiliated with the crown, and he's a racial minority."

"I can do that," Fauna said as she folded her arms.

"Ugh. Fine," Warwick pouted. "But I still get to tell him what to do," he added under his breath.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I'd like to lead those two straight to the Elevator of Losers. All in due time.

* * *

Mondo, Tori, and Vardaman went on their way through the forest.

"Ah. I just had an idea," Mondo said.

"Yes?" Tori asked.

"We should split up," Mondo said. "I don't know how many people the Killer Boldface sent out to attack, but it's probably more than we sent. I doubt they'll be splitting up. This way, it'll be harder for them to find us and we can slip past them and make it to their tower without being detected."

"Heck, I like it," Vardaman smiled. "Makes things a lot easier on us."

"I prefer to be alone, anyway," Tori stated. "So be it."

"I'll take north, Vardaman take south, Tori can continue heading east," Mondo said.

"Alrighty then," Vardaman said with a tip of his hat. "See y'all on the other side."

"Likewise," Tori said with a slight nod.

The three contestants split up and went their own ways.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Tori:** This is hardly any different from how I normally spend my time out here: in the forest, exercising. The main difference is that this time I am doing cardio rather than strength training and that I am on a mission.

* * *

Isidora, Naomi and Ronoc stayed behind with their team's tower.

"So, why do you want to hang out with me so much?" Naomi asked Ronoc.

"What do you mean?" Ronoc asked innocently.

"First you make me work on the base of the tower, and now you want me here," Naomi pointed out.

"He's got a hard-on for you," Isidora remarked.

"Ewwwwwww!" Naomi cringed.

"Hilarious, Isidora," Ronoc said flatly.

"Take it up with the author," Isidora smirked.

"Here, Naomi, let's leave Isidora to guard this so we can talk about it in private," Ronoc suggested.

"I don't feel comfortable with this," Naomi frowned.

"Besides, you expect me to defend this tower all by myself?" Isidora asked.

"Yeah. That's the entire reason you're here," Ronoc said as he led Naomi deeped into the forest.

"Prick," Isidora muttered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ronoc:** Yeah, I realize I did come off as kind of, for lack of a better word, rapey back there, but trust me, my intentions are pure. I'm only moving the plot forward. Can't fault me for that, can you?

* * *

The defense team on the Screaming Italics all stood guard in front of their tower.

"Why don't we use this as an opportunity to get to know each other?" Ephraim suggested.

"Because we need to stay focused," Kelsey stated. "I'm all for team synergy, but we don't want to get caught off-guard when the Boldface do show up."

"Besides," Hugh added. "The more we get to know each other, the more crushed you'll be when you eventually have to vote each other off."

"That's actually kind of a bummer," Quentin said.

"It's the truth," Hugh said. "Like it or not, if we lose a challenge, we're going to have to pick someone to leave the game. It could be any one of us. Could be you." He pointed to Quentin. "Could be you." He pointed to Amelie. "Could even be you." He pointed to Cordelia.

Cordelia's eyes went vacuous. "Well... I want it to be you," Cordelia said in an eerie calmness.

"Good for you," Hugh scoffed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Stormy~:** Hugh's being way too overconfident. I'm not going to give him my idol, so he should stop acting like he's invincible. Baka.

* * *

The offense group for Killer Boldface continued through the forest.

"We almost there?" Fauna asked Zarardo.

"Yeaaaah. Are we there yet?" Warwick whined.

Just then, Warwick was knocked over by a paint balloon, which exploded on impact. The Killer Boldface all looked to see Tori standing before them.

"Looks like the king has been dethroned," Tori said with a smirk.

All the standing members of the team all took aim at Tori.

"Go ahead. I am but one person," Tori said. She shot a balloon at Fauna. "Meanwhile, I can cover you all in paint and prevent you from having any chance at that dinner cruise." She shot a balloon at Zarardo.

Phoenix shot a balloon at Tori.

"Every bit helps," Phoenix shrugged.

Tori shot a balloon at Phoenix.

"Anyone else?" Tori asked.

"No, we'll just be on our way," Yolonda said as she glanced at her teammates.

"Shouldn't we stop her?" Osric asked.

"Like she said, she's only one person," Yolonda said. "In the grand scheme of things, I think we can let her go."

"She's also a really strong one person," Ursula pointed out.

"I agree with Yolonda," Zarardo said. "Let's press forward."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** This cape is _expensive_! That burly she-beast owes me a new one!

* * *

Vardaman, having gone around the Boldface attack group, found his way to the Boldface tower, which he found Isidora leaning against.

"Hm... now how'm I supposed to knock a tower over with only paint balloons?" Vardaman asked himself. "Well, ain't no way to find out but to try."

The doctor-in-training launched a balloon at the tower, splattering all over Isidora in the process. Just then, the tower leaned over and crashed to the ground.

"Well. That was much easier than I thought," Vardaman chuckled.

"Attention, campers!" Chris's voice sounded through the intercom. "The Screaming Italics have succeeded in knocking down the Killer Boldface tower! Meet me back at camp so we can count up how many of you got painted on!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I figured that helpin' out in the challenge would help me take my mind off of how Cordelia probably hates me now. _(He sighs morosely.)_

* * *

The contestants all met up at the campground.

"What did Ronoc want?" Genesis texted Naomi.

"He just talked about cigars the entire time," Naomi said. "It was gross. What a whelp."

"Ugh," Warwick groaned.

"Alright, listen up!" Lindsay instructed. "Anyone who got hit with paint, step forward."

Nobody stepped forward.

"Okay, real funny guys," Lindsay frowned. "I have this and I'm not afraid to use it." She pulled her shock collar remote from her pocket.

"None of us have shock collars though," Phoenix pointed out.

"Aha! See, I see paint on you!" Lindsay exclaimed as she pointed at Phoenix.

"Well, I already counted who's got paint and who hasn't got paint, and it's clear to me that the Screaming Italics win the dinner cruise in addition to immunity," Chris stated.

"Well, I can always fix us something special," Yolonda said to her team.

"Italics, your ride is waiting on the Dock of Shame," Chris said. "Boldface, you have to decide which of you is going home."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Osric:** Well that's unfortunate. I was hoping that I could see some of the ladies in nice formal wear on the dinner cruise. I bet Isidora has pretty shoulders. _(He gives a perverted smile.)_

 **Quentin:** Oh hey, we won. Cool. A nice dinner cruise sounds fun too. Maybe I can hang out with Tori some more. That'd be nice.

 **Isidora:** Well, I tried my hardest. Can't fault me for that.

 **Amelie:** We won? Oh, that's nice. I didn't even get hurt that badly. Actually, did I even get hurt at all... oh, I'm sure I did and just didn't even remember it.

* * *

The eleven members of the Screaming Italics all made it to the Dock of Shame to see a yacht parked there.

"Sugoi!" Stormy~ exclaimed in excitement.

"Fancy," Jasper grinned.

"This should be fun," Mondo smirked.

The yacht lowered its ramp, giving the contestants entrance to the ship. They all walked in to see that the first room was decorated with lots of gold and orange colors, with three large, circular tables in the center and a chandelier above. There were paintings adorning the walls and classical music playing.

"You must be the young guests," a thin, well-dressed man said as he entered the room. "The changing rooms are this way." He gestured to his left. "We cannot start the dinner until you are all in proper attire."

"Ooh, we get to dress up?" Cordelia asked.

"Great," Hugh said with a roll of his eyes.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ephraim:** I have to admit, we all looked pretty nice in our formal outfits. Even some of the more sour people managed to clean up pretty nicely.

* * *

After everyone had changed into their formal attire, they had taken a seat at one of the three tables. At one table sat Amelie, Ephraim, Hugh, and Stormy~.

"Um, why'd you want them to sit with us?" Amelie whispered to Ephraim.

"I saw you and Stormy~ talking earlier in the challenge. I figured you two could get along," Ephraim replied. "Besides, I can keep an eye on Hugh better this way."

"What do you think they're whispering about?" Stormy~ whispered to Hugh.

"Probably what kind of sexual positions they're going to try after this is all over," Hugh snickered.

"Gross!" Stormy~ squealed.

"What did Hugh say, dare I ask?" Ephraim inquired.

"I don't think I should repeat it," Stormy~ said.

"Probably for the best," Ephraim decided.

"So..." Amelie said awkwardly. "Stormy~, are you, uh, really famous in Japan?"

"I am!" Stormy~ said enthusiastically. "I have three albums out already. One of which came out earlier this month," she added as she faced the camera.

"Oh. That's cool," Amelie said.

There was a silence.

"What kind of music do you usually listen to?" Stormy~ asked Amelie.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Th-That actually wasn't a horrible conversation. Maybe Stormy~ and I really can be friends. But then why would a famous person want to be friends with me?

 **Hugh:** Eh, more potential allies are always fine by me. I wish Ephraim wasn't one of them, because he wouldn't let me do anything remotely bad boy, but maybe I can ditch him, possibly even before Cordelia if that's how the votes fall.

* * *

The next table over, Kelsey, Quentin, Tori, and Vardaman all shared a conversation.

"...and that's how I won the men's wrestling competition," Tori said, concluding a story.

"Wow," Quentin said, impressed.

"Who'd'a thought?" Vardaman added.

"That's the kind of thing I like to hear," Kelsey smirked. "In fact, I have a proposition for you three."

"This sounds pretty alliance-y," Quentin said.

"It is alliance-y," Kelsey nodded. "Tori, you're bar none the strongest contestant in this game. Vardaman, you won today's challenge for us. Quentin, you singlehandedly found every hidden statue in the first challenge. And I can be the brains to keep you three from being targeted as challenge threats."

"I wouldn't say I'm a threat per se," Quentin said. "I just got kinda lucky."

"That may be what you think, but not the others," Kelsey said. "Besides, why turn down security?"

"She's got a good point," Vardaman said to the other two.

"I agree. I'd rather not be targeted," Tori stated. "I'm in."

"Well if you two are in, then so am I," Quentin said.

"Lovely," Kelsey said confidently. "I look forward to working with you."

"Likewise," Vardaman smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Tori:** I don't talk to many people, mostly because they get often in the way of my training. So having people who don't want to vote for me should help.

 **Vardaman:** Well, I lost two friends, and gained three more. Ain't too bad if I do say so myself. I do miss Cordelia though.

* * *

The last table was occupied by Cordelia, Jasper, and Mondo.

"So..." Jasper said to Mondo.

"Don't," Mondo responded.

"Hey, you're not homophobic too, are you?" Cordelia asked.

"...I'm actually gay," Mondo said.

"You are?" Cordelia asked.

"Yes," Mondo responded. "And what do you mean 'homophobic too'? Who else is?"

"Vardaman," Jasper responded.

"I didn't want to assume, but I'm honestly not surprised," Mondo shrugged.

"I want him gone," Cordelia said vacuously.

"I might have to consider that," Mondo said. "Wouldn't want to get targeted by him."

"You can join our friendship circle," Cordelia said enthusiastically. "We just kicked Vardaman out. For obvious reasons."

"I'll pass, but let me know if we're voting for Vardaman anytime soon," Mondo said.

Cordelia's eyes went vacuous.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Cordelia:** _(Her eyes are vacuous.)_ Why wouldn't Mondo want to join my friendship circle? He's mean, that's why.

 **Jasper:** So it's confirmed: I'm the smartest person on this team.

* * *

The eleven members of the Killer Boldface met up at the bonfire pit. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"Hey, haven't seen you guys in a while," Chris chuckled. "Anyway, you've cast your votes and made your decisions. When I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. If you don't receive a marshmallow, that means you've received the most votes. In that case, you must walk the Dock of Shame, hop on the Elevator of Losers, and take the plunge into irrelevance."

"Fun," Genesis texted.

"Phoenix."

"Zarardo."

"Yolonda."

"Genesis."

"Ursula."

"Osric."

"Isidora."

"Fauna."

"Warwick."

Naomi and Ronoc sat on their stumps, awaiting Chris's final call.

"Oh no," Naomi said, now nervous.

Ronoc tried to hide his smug smirk.

...

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"Naomi."

"Yes!" Naomi cheered as she stood up and skated towards Chris to claim her marshmallow, only to trip and fall right in front of him. "I just skinned my knee, but who cares!"

"Yes indeed, I was only filler," Ronoc said with a broad shrug to camera. "Whoever wishes to join me on the Dock of Shame, let's go now."

"That's my job, buddy," Chris said, slightly annoyed.

* * *

Chris, Ronoc, and Isidora all went to the Dock of Shame.

"So Warwick and Zarardo chose not to see me off?" Ronoc asked. "How rude, frankly."

"You should ask the author about it later," Isidora remarked.

"Nah, I know why they're not here," Ronoc said. "Because you were my only true friend in this game."

"I guess," Isidora said.

Ronoc gave Isidora a hug.

"Okay, this really isn't helping the rumors that you're a rapist," Isidora said flatly.

"Hey, better than being universally adored by every character. That'd make me a poor character," Ronoc said.

"Please let go of me," Isidora said.

Ronoc broke out of the hug.

"Well, no point in dragging this out. Nobody's going to miss me anyway," Ronoc said. "Wow, who am I, Amelie?"

"Evidently not, because she outlasted you," Chris grinned as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors.

"Any last words?" Chris asked.

"Ne vous inquiétez pas. Je serai de retour dans quelques années," Ronoc said. "Too bad I have no idea what I just said, huh?"

"Well said," Chris said. "Isidora, you can head to bed."

"You're lucky I never cared to learn more than two languages," Isidora told Ronoc.

Ronoc smirked as he stepped into the Elevator.

"Ronoc, you have finished the game in 22nd place," Chris said.

"I'm off to make burritos!" Ronoc announced.

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater.

"And with that, the kid who kept spouting nonsense has spoken his last... bit of nonsense, I don't know," Chris said to the camera.

"That kid was weird," Lindsay added as she arrived on scene.

"With Isidora losing two allies in a row, is she doomed for failure?" Chris asked. "Will things work out in Fauna's alliance? Or is it Phoenix's alliance? Or Yolonda's? Will Osric ever score?"

"Will Kelsey's new alliance work out?" Lindsay asked. "Will someone on Cordelia's increasing list of enemies go home? Will Amelie make friends?"

"I can hardly wait to find out myself," Chris beamed.

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Ronoc:** To continue the trend of always voting for who goes, I vote for... myself! Hahaha!

 **Naomi:** Ronoc, I'm sorry, but you're a whelp. See ya!

 **Isidora:** Naomi's kind of annoying so... sorry.

 **Warwick:** I won't vote off someone in my council, so I'll vote for the weird girl with the skates!

 **Fauna:** Whitey's gotta go, and Ronoc screwed up the challenge. Easy choice.

 **Phoenix:** There's no chance Ronoc could have joined our side, and he's the reason our tower had such poor defenses, so I see no reason in keep him around.

 **Zarardo:** Warwick wishes Naomi to be gone, so why not?

 **Osric:** I think Ronoc has an idol, so I think we should flush it. I'm sure someone in Fauna's group will get the second-highest votes, so that's something.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Ronoc doesn't deserve an idol. Sorry.

 **Ursula:** Ronoc's kind of annoying to be honest. I'd like to get rid of him soon, so eliminating his idol is an easy way to do that.

 **Yolonda:** I honestly don't mind voting for Ronoc. He's kind of weird.

* * *

 _A/N: Ronoc was a bit of a fun experiment kind of character. I thought it'd be fun to toy with the concept of inserting myself into the story and, despite his omnipotence, or possibly even due to it, the other characters found him more weird than anything. I'll admit, there were better ways I could have gotten rid of him, but I didn't want to do anything_ too _unrealistic, so throwing the challenge for the sake of the plot it is!_

 _As for Ronoc himself, he had mixed reception, which I guess is the only real thing that couldn't have happened. No matter how you felt about him, this is where he goes._


	6. Ep 05: Coin You Believe It?

_A/N: I kinda wish they'd make another Final Fantasy Tactics game. Until then, I guess I'm forced to keep writing fanfiction. I kid of course. I love doing what I do. Enjoy._

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, we sent our campers into the forest to create a tower in their team's image," Chris recapped. "Then, we sent them to try and destroy the other team's tower for invincibility using paint balloons."

"Ooh! And! In a twist! The team who had the least people with paint on them would also win a nice dinner cruise," Lindsay added.

"Indeed they did," Chris nodded. "Outside of the challenge, however, Mondo and Kelsey had a falling out, Hugh came up with a scheme that his ally Stormy~ couldn't get behind, and Cordelia became upset with an increasing number of people, including Vardaman thanks to Jasper's manipulation."

"And on the other team, Ronoc and Isidora joined the alliance with Warwick and Zarardo," Lindsay continued. "Also Phoenix called out Fauna on her double standards and Osric asked Genesis for romantic advice. How cute!"

"The day was a good one for the Screaming Italics, who managed to not only win invincibility, but the reward as well," Chris stated. "And what a night it was. Kelsey formed an alliance with Quentin, Tori, and Vardaman, and it looks like the Hugh/Stormy~ and Amelie/Ephraim duos may end up working together too."

"As for the vote, that weird Ronoc kid was sent home," Lindsay continued. "Because he was a creeper and he might have thrown the challenge. I think that was on purpose. Was it?"

"Eh, who can tell with that guy?" Chris shrugged. "Will any more alliance madness happen on the Killer Boldface? And will all the social tension get to the Screaming Italics? The answers to these questions and more, right here, on Total!"

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ It's fairly common knowledge that Zarardo is tightly aligned with Warwick, and yet he's also a part of my alliance with Osric, Naomi, and Ursula. I figure that if he's allowed to blatantly play more than one alliance, then I should be as well.

* * *

Genesis found Fauna eating breakfast in the mess hall.

"Good morning, Fauna," Genesis texted with a sweet smile.

"Morning," Fauna responded with a nod. "How goes it?"

"I've just been thinking recently," Genesis texted. "You may be right."

"I tend to be right, but what specifically are you talking about?" Fauna asked.

"The whole white oppression thing," Genesis texted. "Here I am, spending the game following the orders of some white guy." Genesis wore a helpless look on her face.

"Well, it's nice to see you've finally come around," Fauna said with a smirk. "I take it you'd like to join my alliance."

"I would, but I'm unsure of what Osric would think," Genesis texted, looking worried. "Can this be a secret thing for now? Osric still expects me to be a part of his alliance."

"Tch. That's oppression if I've ever heard it," Fauna spat. "Thanks for the tip. I'm thinking we should vote him out next chance we get."

"That'd be nice," Genesis texted with a shy smile. "Thank you, Fauna."

"It's my pleasure," Fauna smirked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Which alliance will I stay loyal to? _(She silently chuckles.)_ Do I have to stay loyal to any of them? I'll stick with whichever one benefits me the most in the long run. The only person I'm loyal to is myself.

 **Fauna:** People often don't believe me when I talk about how the white man is keeping strong people of color like myself or Genesis down, but I feel what Genesis just told me serves as proof they they are all wrong. If Osric thinks he can boss Genesis around like that, then I'll just have to prove him wrong, won't I?

* * *

Amelie and Stormy~ sat at the beach, their bare feet on the sand where the tide fell.

"I still think this feels weird," Amelie shuddered.

"I love the beach," Stormy~ beamed. "Even just wading in the ocean makes me feel refreshed."

"My butt's going to get all sandy and people are going to make fun of me," Amelie frowned.

"Is that something people often make fun of in Canada?" Stormy~ asked. "How weird. No offense."

"I don't like getting wet at all, really," Amelie continued.

"You complain a lot, you know that?" Stormy~ pointed out.

"I'm sorry," Amelie sighed.

"No, no, don't apologize. Do something about it!" Stormy~ said enthusiastically. She stood up. "Go change into your swimsuit. We're having a beach day."

"A-A beach day?" Amelie asked.

"That's right! We're going to make sand castles and play in the water and eat watermelon," Stormy~ listed.

"Is eating watermelon a beach thing in Japan?" Amelie asked.

"Is it not in Canada?!" Stormy~ gasped as she grabbed Amelie's arm and pulled her up onto her feet. "You poor, deprived child!"

"Why are you being so friendly to me?" Amelie asked suspiciously.

"You spend a lot of time with Ephraim, but all girls need a gal pal," Stormy~ beamed. "Besides, we Asian girls have to stick together."

"Isn't that the very mindset that's made Fauna a target?" Amelie asked.

"Yeah, good point," Stormy~ conceded as she knocked on her head.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I have to admit, Stormy~'s a lot more fun to talk to than Ephraim, but I wouldn't trust her to save me from the dangers of the world. I guess I should be happy they're both here, but then they could easily be trying to manipulate me.

 **Stormy~:** Amelie reminds me a bit of this girl I met at school who would always eat lunch by herself and always looked sad doing so. I started talking to her, we became friends, and now we can hardly spend a day apart. Except for me being on this show, obviously. Don't worry, Maiko, I'm not replacing you. Hehe.

* * *

Osric stepped into the washrooms with a towel wrapped around his waist, only to see one of the showers already occupied. The person in the shower was wearing orange roller skates.

"Uh, hi Naomi," Osric greeted.

"How'd you know it was me?!" Naomi gasped. "Do you have X-ray vision? Pervert!"

"I can see your skates," Osric said flatly.

"I trust you, if only because that makes perfect sense," Naomi said suspiciously.

"Why don't you take your skates off in the shower of all places?" Osric asked.

"Are you kidding me? I _earned_ these bad boys. I'm keeping them on for as long as I can," Naomi said defiantly.

"You have no issue with getting them wet or anything?" Osric asked.

"Nope. They're waterproof, for rainy days," Naomi said proudly.

"Aren't you afraid your feet are going to stink up the place once you finally take them off?" Osric asked.

"...But I don't want to take them off," Naomi pouted.

Just then, Naomi slipped and fell on her bottom. Osric's eyes went wide as he saw his friend's naked bum before him.

"I'm okay, I swear!" Naomi insisted.

"Can you reach the support rail to help you back up?" Osric asked, his perverted grin never falting.

"It's on the inside of the door," Naomi said. "Hold on."

Naomi scooted herself around to face the door in order to get a better position to grab the support rail. Unbeknownst to her, Osric could now see her crotch.

"Guhhhhhhhhh," Osric moaned as his nose began to bleed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** Osric can be a bit of a weirdo sometimes, but I think he's a cool guy deep down.

 **Osric:** Best day so far.

* * *

Ephraim was in the process of doing push-ups in the boys' cabin when Hugh walked in. Ephraim stopped his push-ups and stood up.

"What are you doing?" Ephraim asked.

"Well, I was _going_ to take a nap, but I guess in retrospect that'd be way too much of a dick move," Hugh remarked.

"I only keep an eye on you because I know about people like you," Ephraim leered.

"People like me? That's racist," Hugh snickered.

"People who feel they can do whatever they want whenever they want. It sickens me, frankly," Ephraim frowned.

"Don't be jealous," Hugh sneered.

"Jealous?" Ephraim asked. "Don't kid yourself."

"You're just jealous that I have that bad boy self-confidence that makes the ladies swoon," Hugh scoffed.

Ephraim busted up laughing.

"Oh, go screw yourself," Hugh said with an eye roll as he left the cabin.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ephraim:** Looking back, I probably could have handled that better. Hugh tends to bring out the worst in me. I'd like him gone sooner than later, for everyone's sake.

 **Hugh:** Ephraim's a condescending bag of dicks. I'm honestly thinking of changing the target to him instead of Cordelia. We can get rid of Cordelia later. Maybe I'll ask Mondo or Quentin for their idols, say it's for a good cause and all that.

* * *

Phoenix and Yolonda met up in the forest.

"So, you wanted to talk to me about something?" Yolonda asked.

"Yeah, I just wanted to touch base with you as far as how you're feeling about our alliance," Phoenix stated.

"What specifically?" Yolonda asked.

"Had the thought of, perhaps, double-crossing Fauna ever come up in your mind?" Phoenix asked.

"Oh, thank _God_ I'm not the only one," Yolonda said with a sigh of relief. "...I'm not the only one, right?"

"No, no, I'm considering it too," Phoenix assured her. "The main thing keeping me from doing so is that damn idol."

"I know, right?" Yolonda agreed. "If not for that thing, we could get the others to vote her out unanimously."

"What say we flush the idol?" Phoenix asked. "I'm thinking of making deals with some of our other teammates. Promise them that if they let us align with them, we'll make sure they won't get idoled out."

"Well, I doubt Fauna will want to keep Isidora around, and we still need Fauna to vote for someone, so she's out," Yolonda noted.

"I'm not really a huge fan of her either," Phoenix agreed. "I'm also not a huge fan of Warwick."

"Doesn't Osric have that alliance?" Yolonda asked.

"Yes, but that has Genesis, who also has an idol, and that concerns me," Phoenix said. "I'd rather not be aligned with anyone who has an idol. I do like the Osric idea though. Why not suggest he form a side alliance with us?"

"What if he has an idol too?" Yolonda asked.

"He didn't have one before. I thought Ronoc had one, but I guess not," Phoenix said.

"You think Osric might have it?" Yolonda mentioned.

"If we keep raising that question, we'll never get anywhere," Phoenix said. "Let's stick with the Osric plan for now."

"If you insist," Yolonda said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Yolonda:** I'm still not huge on the idea of flipping on Fauna right now as opposed to later, but at this point, anything I do has some level of risk to it. I just need to figure out which is the best option for me.

 **Phoenix:** At the end of the day, I don't trust Genesis, the physically weak mute, Naomi, the not-so-smart klutz, and Ursula, the rebellious troll, to take Osric anywhere close to the end. I do trust myself and Yolonda to do so, however, and if we put it that way to Osric, he should at least consider the idea.

* * *

Mondo went to the Dock to begin his morning lap around the island, only to find Tori there.

"Morning," Mondo said with a nod.

"I hear you run a lap around the island every morning," Tori stated. "I shall be joining you."

"Oh, shall you?" Mondo remarked. "I guess I can't stop you there."

"Actually, why don't we make this interesting?" Tori suggested.

"How interesting?" Mondo asked.

"Whoever finishes their lap first must do as the other says for the rest of the day," Tori smirked.

"Eh, I'll pass," Mondo said. "I'm pretty sure you'll beat me anyway."

"You don't sound very confident in yourself," Tori noted. "I thought you came out here to prove your strength."

"I can't well prove my strength if I lose to a girl," Mondo said. "Not that I care if I do, but the guys back home wouldn't let me hear the end of it."

"I see," Tori said. "Well, it was worth a try anyway."

"Whatever," Mondo said as he cracked his neck. "I should hurry up and get running anyway. Feel free to join me if you like."

Mondo hopped off the Dock and into the beach, and began his run. Tori followed after him.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Tori:** Me joining an alliance last night reminded me that being a loner probably isn't the best thing for sticking around in the game. So I'll make it an effort to talk to the rest of my teammates today to make sure they don't want me gone.

 **Mondo:** I assume Tori wants an alliance with me. I guess it would prove my strength well if I held authority over the strongest person in the game. I'll think about it.

* * *

Isidora sat on her usual rock, reading a book.

"Saw that twist coming from a mile away," she remarked.

Ursula began to creep up behind her.

"Are you really going to try and scare me?" Isidora remarked, not looking away from her book. "The anemic girl? Really?"

"Oh goddammit!" Ursula swore.

"Joke's on you. My heart races all the time, again, as part of my anemia," Isidora said. "I don't startle easily."

"Perhaps, but-"

"And if you're going to try that thing you did with Naomi, that won't work either. I'm too smart for that," Isidora stated.

"You're mean," Ursula pouted.

"I choose to see it as 'blunt and honest'," Isidora responded. "Besides, you're the one who goes around messing with people. So who's really the mean one here?"

"Uh, you," Ursula answered. "I don't keep you from reading, so why keep me from scaring people?"

"I'm not keeping you from scaring anyone. I just know better than to be scared by you," Isidora shrugged. "Go bug Warwick or something."

"Maybe I will," Ursula said defensively.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** Well, now I have a headache. I should go see if they still have any healthy cereal. Stupid iron deficiency.

 **Ursula:** I'll get Isidora someday. Today might not be that day, but that day will come soon.

* * *

Kelsey, Quentin, and Vardaman all ate breakfast together.

"Where's Tori?" Quentin wondered.

"Don't know. Haven't seen her since we went to sleep last night," Kelsey admitted. "But if she won't show up to our alliance breakfast meetings, then she won't get any input."

"Input on what?" Vardaman asked.

"Who to target," Kelsey said. "We, as a group of four, make up the largest alliance on this team to my knowledge. That means we have the most influence over who goes."

"But what if they others all gang up on us?" Vardaman asked.

"They won't. I'm a good leader, and you two plus Tori are good in challenges. They need us," Kelsey explained.

"Well, I can't think of anyone I'd really want to target over the others," Quentin admitted.

"I'd prefer Jasper myself," Vardaman said.

"Why Jasper specifically?" Kelsey asked.

"He's real oversensitive," Vardaman said. "We used to be friends, if you recall, but he kicked me out of that friend group because he misconstrued something I said as insensitive."

"Maybe you did say something insensitive and just didn't realize," Kelsey said.

"But-"

"I'm more partial to Stormy~ or Mondo," Kelsey continued. "They both have hidden statues, and I'd like those gone sooner than later."

"That could work," Vardaman nodded in agreement. "I still think we should keep the Jasper option open though."

"I think you should apologize to him," Kelsey said.

"I guess," Vardaman sighed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kelsey:** I find it's best to get rid of hidden statues early on so the person with the next-highest number of votes isn't as likely to be someone on your side. I didn't have the means before, but now that my leadership has been established, I can ensure that things work out my way.

 **Vardaman:** I guess there's no harm in apologizing to Jasper. Maybe it'll even put me on good terms with Cordelia again.

 **Quentin:** I hope Kelsey doesn't see me as a threat because I have a statue. Guess it's a good thing I'm on her side, huh?

* * *

Warwick and Zarardo met at their usual spot on the thousand-foot cliff.

"I still can't believe the others had the _nerve_ to vote out someone on my council," Warwick pouted.

"A shame, but I can't say I'm too surprised, honestly," Zarardo responded. "Naomi's way more social than Ronoc ever was. Though I am surprised to discover that he never played his idol."

"Ah! I'd forgotten he even had one," Warwick remembered. "Perchance he bestowed it upon Isidora."

"I can actually see that happening," Zarardo said. "Why would someone as bookish as Isidora align with someone as nonsensical as Ronoc unless he bought her loyalty with that statue?"

"Well, I want it for myself!" Warwick decided. "We should get her to give it to me!"

"Now, now, we don't even know for sure that she has it," Zarardo stated. "We should determine that before doing anything rash."

"Speaking of whom, where _is_ Isidora?" Warwick realized.

"Probably reading on her own," Zarardo answered. "She's been known to do that."

"Good point," Warwick said. "Well, I'm going to go speak with her."

Warwick began walking down the cliff path, only to be chased back up by Ursula wearing a convincing-looking monster mask.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Those hidden idols can change your status in the game in an instant! Anyone who holds one suddenly becomes a threat, as voting for them gives them and their allies free reign to decide who goes home. And if one of my allies holds one over me... well I just won't stand for that!

 **Zarardo:** Letting Warwick have an idol... I'm not sure how much I like that idea. On one hand, it'll keep him safe and keep the target on him, but if it doesn't keep the target on him, it'll rest upon me. If that happens, I'll be sure to throw Isidora under the bus. It's not like she's worth much more than an extra vote, and I'm still in good with Osric's alliance anyway.

 **Ursula:** Okay, that did make my day a bit better. Heheheheheheh.

* * *

Jasper aimlessly strolled through the campsite when he was approached by Cordelia.

"Well hey, Cordy," Jasper smiled. "How goes it?"

"Nobody... Nobody's spoken to me all day..." Cordelia said monotonously.

"Really? Not a single one?" Jasper asked. "That's surprising. You're super-friendly."

"I know. Who wouldn't want to talk to me?" Cordelia continued.

"Well, let's see, we've kicked Vardaman out of our group, so there's no reason to talk to him at all," Jasper said. "You said you wanted Hugh gone, and I think you told me you didn't like Amelie or Mondo either. What about people on the other team?"

"They're talking to people on their team..." Cordelia droned. "And no one on my team wants to talk to me. How rude..."

"Yeah, that is weird," Jasper said, clearly in thought. "What do you think we should do about that?"

"Vote the meanies off..." Cordelia answered.

"Well, I doubt Hugh's going to last much longer," Jasper suggested. "Maybe if we lose we can be friends with anyone else who votes for him."

"But what if we don't lose?" Cordelia asked.

"I don't know. Then I'll keep being your only friend," Jasper shrugged.

Cordelia's brow furrowed and she held her head with both hands.

"I... I need... more friends...!" Cordelia said, trying to keep her anger inside.

"Well I guess maybe if you threw the challenge..." Jasper suggested.

"Ooh, good call!" Cordelia said, now completely chipper. "Thankies!" She pulled Jasper in for a hug.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** If Cordelia isn't as big of a social threat as I thought, then maybe I shouldn't invest that much in her. I'll keep that bridge unburned for now, just in case, but with Vardaman now out of our group, and Cordelia on the brink of... something, I should look into other options. Only question is: what are my options?

 **Cordelia:** Yeah, I'll throw a challenge! That'll make me some friends! It's so brilliant!

* * *

The twenty-one campers met up with Chris and Lindsay at the Dock of Shame.

"Alright, is everyone here? Then it's time for our next challenge!" Chris announced.

"And this is a fun one," Lindsay said. Of note was the she was dressed in a red bikini, prompting the gaze of many of the male contestants.

"I love today," Osric muttered with a perverted grin.

"Right. As you can see from Lindsay's attire, today we'll be having a swimming challenge, so after I explain how it'll go, you guys will have to go get changed," Chris explained

"Guess we'll have to explain the challenge to the guys on our team, huh?" Stormy~ quipped to Amelie. "I doubt they'll be paying any attention."

"Yeah, uh, I guess," Amelie said with a nervous chuckle.

"As you can see, we've roped off a portion of the water with buoys," Chris continued as he gestured towards the water past the Dock. "In this portion of water are nineteen golden coins. For this challenge, you will be tag-teaming one by one to search for these coins. Once you find a coin, you will have to sit out of the rest of the challenge. The team who brings ten coins back to the surface for their team will win Invincibility for the night. Also, Screaming Italics, since you have one extra member, one of you will have to sit out of the challenge."

"I'll do it," Amelie volunteered. "I... didn't really bring a swimsuit anyway."

"You didn't?" Stormy~ asked.

"I'd feel too self-conscious," Amelie whimpered.

"You can borrow one of mine," Stormy~ offered.

"Nope. Too late. Amelie's sitting out," Chris said. "Any more questions?"

Silence.

"Good. Go get changed so we can get this challenge started!" Chris ordered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Stormy~:** It sounds to me like Amelie has some real self-esteem issues. I wonder why that is. She doesn't seem to have anything about her to be really concerned about. Maybe I'll talk with her about it later.

 **Isidora:** Joy. Swimming. My _favorite_. At least I have that idol Ronoc gave me, so when I inevitably botch the challenge and get all the votes tonight, I won't have to worry _too_ much.

 **Ephraim:** Having another physical challenge should be good for our winning streak. I'm feeling good about this.

 **Osric:** _(His nose is bleeding.)_

* * *

The campers, sans Amelie, had all changed into their swimsuits (as well as goggles provided by Chris and Lindsay so they could see underwater) and were lined up in reverse alphabetical order on the Dock of Shame.

"Why are we in reverse this time?" Phoenix inquired.

"Eh. Felt like changing things up," Chris shrugged.

"Are you boys ready?!" Lindsay asked Vardaman and Zarardo excitedly.

"Sure am," Vardaman nodded.

"I am always ready," Zarardo boasted.

"In that case... GO!" Chris bellowed.

The two young men dove into the water and immediately began their searches. Both of them found a fairly deep reef with many rocks and marine animals scattered throughout the area. There were also many noticeable golden shimmers. Zarardo went for the closest shimmer he could find, while Vardaman swam out to get a farther one.

"Here you go," Zarardo said as he ran onto the beach and back onto the dock, where he placed his coin in a red bucket that had been placed there (alongside a green one) earlier.

Yolonda took the cue and dove into the water to begin her search. As she did so, Vardaman resurfaced and made his way to the green bucket to drop his coin in.

"The teams are tied one-to-one!" Chris announced.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I figured going for the farther-out coins would make it easier for some of the less-athletic members of our team to get a coin.

 **Zarardo:** I just figured I should go for an easier one first so someone on the other team doesn't get it before we do.

* * *

As Tori dove into the water, Yolonda had already resurfaced with a coin of her own.

"The Killer Boldface is maintaining a strong lead," Chris said. "But as the number of coins decreases, so does your chance of finding one."

Warwick barely had time to flop into the water before Tori had already returned with a coin of her own, prompting Stormy~ to follow Warwick shortly after.

"Think we have a good chance here?" Osric asked Genesis.

Genesis shrugged - she did not have her phone with her because she did not want to get it wet.

"Disgusting," Fauna whispered to Genesis. "He really does think he's better than you, doesn't he? Don't worry. I'm looking out for you."

Genesis simply nodded.

Stormy~ resurfaced and ran up to her team's bucket, dropping a coin in it. Quentin dove into the water.

"The Screaming Ironics take the lead!" Lindsay announced.

"Ironically, that's not what they're called," Chris deadpanned.

Lindsay checked her pockets, only to find that she didn't have any with her swimsuit.

"Ha! No shock collar for this host today," Chris beamed.

Lindsay responded by pushing Chris into the water.

"Whoa! This was an especially good hair day!" Chris whined. "I'll get you for this."

Lindsay shrugged innocently.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fauna:** From what I can tell, Osric's biggest weakness is his libido. I'm wondering how I can take advantage of that without doing something completely degrading towards women. Either way, I'll keep the wheels in this head turning until I can come up with something.

 **Chris:** _(He is writing on a notepad)_ Note to self: ask the higher-ups about a protocol for when Lindsay is allowed to punish me. _(He turns to the camera.)_ I'm not gonna stand for another ruined good hair day, okay?!

* * *

Quentin and Warwick both returned to the Dock simultaneously, prompting Mondo and Ursula to dive into the water simultaneously.

"You think Kelsey's going to slow us down any?" Hugh asked Ephraim. "She's up next, after all."

"I try not to think about it like that," Ephraim said. "Besides, we're making great time as it is. Even if she does slow us down, we have enough of a lead, plus I still have yet to go, plus that anemic girl on the other team still has yet to go."

Cordelia giggled to herself.

Ursula returned with a coin in her hand, prompting Phoenix to dive in.

"Oh man, I'm so nervous," Naomi said to Yolonda.

"Never gone swimming with skates on?" Yolonda asked flatly.

"No!" Naomi answered.

"Why don't you take them off if you're worried about mobility?" Yolonda asked.

"Oh, I'm not worried about mobility," Naomi giggled. "I'm worried about losing them. Or worse, only one."

"Losing one is worse?" Yolonda asked.

"Yeah. I didn't bring any shoes besides these," Naomi admitted. "If I just have one, it'd be so uneven."

Mondo returned with a coin, prompting Kelsey to jump into the water.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mondo:** Like Vardaman apparently did, I went for a harder-to-reach coin so my weaker teammates wouldn't have to.

 **Yolonda:** Naomi's a strange one.

* * *

Phoenix had resurfaced and went up to place his coin into the bucket. Osric took his turn to dive into the water.

"Looking forward to your turn?" Phoenix remarked to Isidora.

"Don't expect a lot out of me," Isidora said plainly. "I'm already feeling a bit dizzy. I'll do my best, but don't be surprised if I cost us the challenge."

"I wouldn't be surprised, honestly," Phoenix responded.

"Why? Because I'm white?" Isidora asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Because of your condition," Phoenix corrected. "The J-Pop girl on the other team has a similar build to you, but I'd expect more out of her."

"She's also not white," Isidora stated.

"I'm not the racist on this team," Phoenix said, somewhat annoyed.

Osric returned with a coin, prompting Naomi to tentatively approach the edge of the Dock, lose her balance, and fall face-first into the water.

Vardaman approached Jasper.

"So, uh, how's it goin'?" Vardaman asked.

"What do you want, Vardaman?" Jasper responded.

"I just wanted to apologize if I offended you before," Vardaman said. "Wasn't my intention, I swear."

"Hm... well you did apologize," Jasper said. "Thing is, I don't think Cordelia likes you all that much, so I don't think we can let you back into our little circle."

"I understand," Vardaman sighed.

"But let it be known that I forgive you at least," Jasper told him.

"Well that's good to know," Vardaman chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** _(In complete deadpan.)_ Phoenix triggered me. That monster.

 **Jasper:** If things don't work out with Cordelia, I'm going to need a backup. I'm glad Vardaman apologized to me, so at least I know I have him as a potential ally.

* * *

Kelsey and Naomi both emerged from the water and placed their coins in their team's respective buckets, cueing Isidora and Jasper to hop in.

"The Screaming Italics currently have six coins to their name, while the Killer Boldface has seven," Chris said to the camera. "You need ten to win. The Boldface have a strong lead, but with Isidora up to the plate, things could turn around."

"Your faith in me is staggering," Isidora remarked after having come up for air.

"I'm calling riggage," Warwick grumbled. "The other team has all the strong people."

"Perhaps, Your Majesty, but our team has all the smart people," Zarardo reminded him.

"I resent that!" Kelsey frowned.

"Just be lucky you're not on my team, otherwise you'd never be able to lead anything," Warwick boasted.

"We've been over this," Kelsey scoffed. "And whose team has won more challenges?"

"We should vote her out," Warwick told Zarardo.

"I'm afraid we can't do that," Zarardo reminded him. "She's on the other team."

Jasper returned with a coin for his team, prompting Hugh to dive in.

"Are you alright, Isidora?" Tori asked as Isidora resurfaced.

"Just peachy," Isidora said sarcastically.

"Isn't she on the other team?" Quentin asked Tori.

"She was, but we were friends before we were separated," Tori reminded him.

"Oh cool, kinda like me and Xingrong," Quentin remembered.

"The loud boy who was obsessed with sandwiches?" Tori asked.

"That's the one," Quentin nodded. "Haven't seen him in a while though. Wonder where he went."

"I think he was voted off," Tori said flatly.

"Aw, really? Shame," Quentin frowned.

Hugh returned with a coin, prompting Ephraim to dive into the water.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** It's amazing how delusional some people can be. Of course, the delusional ones tend to be bigger targets, so I'll let Warwick keep thinking he's in charge for as long as it benefits me.

 **Quentin:** First Lester, then Xingrong. And people say I'm the lucky one. _(He chuckles.)_ I hope this doesn't reflect poorly on Tori. I really like talking to her.

* * *

Ephraim had already surfaced with a coin of his own.

"Let's do this," Cordelia chuckled to herself as she dove underwater.

"Good game," Isidora sighed as she returned to the surface.

"It ain't over yet!" Fauna reminded her.

Isidora sighed as she returned underwater, slowly making her way towards a shimmer in the distance.

Cordelia took note of this shimmer and swam towards it as quickly as she could.

Isidora returned to the surface. "I seriously feel like I'm about to pass out."

"Chris! Can't you let her take a break?" Lindsay asked.

"The rules state that she can't come back without a coin. I'm not going to give her special privileges," Chris stated.

"But she has a disability," Lindsay frowned.

"So does Genesis, but I'm not treating her any differently," Chris shrugged. "Genesis found a way to work around it, and so can Isidora."

Back underwater, Cordelia swam up to Isidora, coin in hand, and gave the anemic girl the coin. Isidora gave her a confused look, but decided not to question it and began to swim back.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Lindsay:** I'm not sure if what Chris is saying is right or not. I mean, yeah, Genesis is disabled too, but it's a different kind, right? Chris wouldn't ask someone in a wheelchair to run a marathon, would he? ...Maybe he would.

 **Cordelia:** Not only am I throwing the challenge, I think I just made a friend in Isidora. ...Isidora better be my friend after this.

* * *

Isidora made it to the beach with a coin. As soon as she made it, she collapsed.

"I don't suppose one of us can put the coin in for her?" Osric asked Chris.

"...Yeah, I'll allow it. She did return with a coin," Chris shrugged. "Wouldn't want Lindsay to go crazy with this thing anyway," Chris added under his breath as he scratched under his shock collar.

Osric took Isidora's coin and put it in the red bucket, while Zarardo picked her up and carried her back to the Dock. Genesis, realizing it was her turn, dove underwater.

"Alright, how did Cordelia lose to Isidora?" Hugh asked. "I realize Cordelia's not exactly an Olympic medalist, but this is Isidora we're talking about."

"Be nice," Stormy~ frowned. "I'm sure she's doing her best."

"Well her best is garbage," Hugh stated.

"That's not very nice," Stormy~ said.

"Well I didn't ask you, artard," Hugh spat.

"Why are you so mean all the time, Hugh?" Stormy~ asked.

"Don't act like you don't love it," Hugh sneered.

"I'm a singer, not an actor," Stormy~ said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I am never swimming ever again.

 **Stormy~:** Someday I'd really like to discover why Hugh is so rude all the time. I'm sure he has a reason. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe I should press further next time I ask him.

* * *

Genesis returned to the beach with a coin in hand. Fauna took the cue and dove into the water.

"There goes our lead," Mondo sighed.

"We can do this!" Ursula whooped.

Cordelia returned to the surface to catch her breath.

"Oi! Cordelia! What's the issue?!" Mondo called out to her.

"I'm trying!" Cordelia cried.

"Try not to get eaten by a shark while you're out there!" Ursula called out to her.

"There are sharks in here?!" Cordelia squealed.

"No, there aren't!" Mondo called. "Ignore her!"

"There are definitely poisonous jellyfish out there though!" Ursula called with a snicker.

"Venomous," Phoenix corrected. "Poisonous is when you get poisoned by eating something. Venomous is when you get poisoned by being bitten or stung by something."

"Your know-it-all attitude is venomous," Ursula remarked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** Ah, Mondo's no fun. Maybe I'll give him a good scare later on. Heheheheh

* * *

Just then, a girl returned to the beach and placed a coin into her team's bucket.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"The Killer Boldface win Invincibility!" Chris announced.

The members of the Killer Boldface cheered.

"Oh thank Christ," Isidora said with a sigh of relief.

"Screaming Italics, sucks to suck, your winning streak is over," Chris said to the members of the Screaming Italics. "One of you will not be here tomorrow. Unless you vote out Amelie, since she's not here right now."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** We did good today. Who's laughing now, Kelsey? You may be class president, but I am a king!

 **Mondo:** I'm wondering if Cordelia threw that challenge. She did well in the relay race, didn't she? Either way, a team is only as strong as its weakest link.

 **Fauna:** I don't think it's a coincidence that as soon as we vote out a white person, we suddenly win a challenge. Our team should really keep this in mind if we ever have to vote again.

 **Amelie:** We lost, huh? Even though I sat out? That doesn't bode well...

* * *

Cordelia and Jasper met up behind the washrooms.

"I threw the challenge just like you said!" Cordelia told Jasper excitedly.

"..." Jasper looked like he was trying to remember.

"You said I should throw the challenge so we could vote off Hugh so I could make more friends," Cordelia reminded him.

"I-I was joking!" Jasper laughed.

Cordelia's eyes went vacuous. "That's... that's not funny."

"Alright, you're right, I'm sorry," Jasper said. "But look, we can still vote Hugh out. I don't think Ephraim or Amelie like him all that much."

"But I don't like Amelie either," Cordelia reminded him.

"You don't have to talk to her," Jasper said. "But we do need to make sure we have a majority here. Two more people would make six out of eleven."

"Who would we talk to though?" Cordelia asked curiously.

"I might be able to get Vardaman onboard," Jasper said.

"Ew. Why would you talk to him?" Cordelia asked.

"For a vote," Jasper said.

"He's a homophobic monster and I don't want you to have to deal with that," Cordelia pouted. "What about Quentin and Tori? They never talk to anyone but each other and I should put an end to that."

"Worth a shot," Jasper shrugged.

"Cool! Let's do it!" Cordelia cheered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Cordelia:** Hugh is a terribly unfriendly person and I won't miss him.

 **Jasper:** Yep, Cordelia's definitely losing sight of the game. Definitely going to lose her as soon as it's convenient for me to do so.

* * *

Amelie, Ephraim, Hugh and Stormy~ met up in the boys' cabin.

"Alright, here's the deal," Hugh said. "We're voting Cordelia tonight."

"Cordelia? Why her?" Amelie asked.

"She singlehandedly got Bijou eliminated," Hugh pointed out. "I don't trust her one bit. Plus, she bombed the challenge."

"Why don't you let us all have some input instead of just deciding how we'll vote?" Ephraim suggested.

"Oh? What better plan do you have, artard?" Hugh challenged.

"I've noticed Kelsey seems to be gaining some allies," Ephraim pointed out. "Why not lose her while we still can?"

"Because Kelsey isn't nearly as obnoxious as Cordelia," Hugh grimaced.

"Besides, Kelsey's doing a better job leading us than Cordelia ever could," Stormy~ agreed.

"I'm gonna go see if I can get anyone else to vote for her," Hugh said as he left the cabin.

"You don't have to listen to him, you know," Ephraim said to Stormy~

"Sure I do," Stormy~ said. "He's my only ally and he knows what he's doing."

"We're your allies too," Ephraim said. "More importantly, we're your friends."

"We-we are?" Amelie asked. "Friends?"

"Of course," Ephraim smiled. "I have both of your backs, and I trust that you have mine as well."

"That sounds like a lot of responsibility," Amelie shuddered.

"It isn't - don't worry," Ephraim assured her. He turned back to Stormy~ "The point is: Hugh sees you as an extra vote. Not as a friend."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Stormy~:** Hugh has my best interests in mind... right? Of course he does. He's trying to get Cordelia eliminated for me. Right?

 **Ephraim:** I'm beginning to worry about Stormy~ as much as I am about Amelie. It almost sounds like an abusive relationship, minus she and Hugh being in an actual relationship.

 **Amelie:** All I know is I don't feel safe around Hugh. Okay, I never feel safe, but I feel even less safe around him.

* * *

Kelsey, Quentin, Tori, and Vardaman met up in the mess hall.

"Any word on who might be gettin' votes tonight?" Vardaman asked.

"I overheard Hugh saying Cordelia and I overheard Cordelia saying Hugh," Kelsey answered.

"Cordelia is weak. I think we would profit most from losing her," Tori stated.

"Really?" Quentin asked. "Hugh's not a very nice guy. I feel like getting rid of him would help with morale."

"I agree with Quentin," Vardaman nodded. "He seems like kind of a punk."

"Well, I agree with Tori," Kelsey stated. "Morale is important, yes, but we've won plenty of challenges before, and that's because we have a strong team. Hugh isn't as strong as you two..." She gestured at Tori and Vardaman. "...but he's a lot stronger than Cordelia is, especially if today's challenge is any indication."

"Well this was unexpected," Quentin said. "Seems like we're at an impasse."

Kelsey's eyes lit up. "Not necessarily."

"You have an idea?" Tori asked.

"I do," Kelsey smirked. "And a good one too, if I do say so myself."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** _(He is chewing on a tongue depressor.)_ Have to admit, I don't much care for Kelsey's new plan, but the others seemed to like it, so what the heck.

 **Tori:** I believe this move could benefit the team as a whole.

 **Quentin:** Whatever happens, someone will walk away happy. A brilliant compromise, I'd say.

 **Kelsey:** Kelsey Carter, you've done it again.

* * *

Hugh found Mondo at the beach.

"Mondo! Let's talk votes," Hugh greeted.

"Nice to see you too," Mondo said sarcastically.

"How would you feel about voting Cordelia tonight?" Hugh asked.

"Oh, I was going to anyway," Mondo said.

"Really now?" Hugh responded, surprised.

"Yeah. Between you and me, I have a feeling she threw the challenge," Mondo stated.

"Who can tell with that one?" Hugh scoffed. "But hey, thanks for the help. We can get a majority yet."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Huh. I guess being a dick does get you far in Total Drama. Go figure.

 **Mondo:** Hugh and I have no rapport whatsoever, but whatever helps the team. _(He shrugs.)_

* * *

The eleven members of the Screaming Italics met up at the bonfire pit. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"Strong though your team may be, it just wasn't enough to save you guys from elimination," Chris shrugged. "So sad. Anyway, you've cast your votes and made your decisions. When I call your name, come up and claim a marshmallow. If I don't call your name, then you don't get a marshmallow, but rather a one-way ticket to the Dock of Shame and onto the Elevator of Losers. The ticket is metaphorical, by the way. Don't expect an actual ticket, m'kay?"

"Vardaman."

"Amelie."

"Quentin."

"Tori."

"Ephraim."

"Jasper."

"Kelsey."

"Mondo."

Cordelia, Hugh, and Stormy~ all sat in the bottom three.

"Why is he pausing? Did I receive votes?" Stormy~ asked nervously.

...

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"Cordelia," Chris continued.

"Good," Cordelia beamed.

Stormy~ glanced nervously at Hugh, who wore a smug grin.

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"...Stormy~"

Hugh began to laugh.

"I don't get it," Stormy~ said as she stood up to get her marshmallow.

"This..." Hugh said as he took a pink-painted wooden Chris head from his hoodie pocket. "is the punchline."

"What?!" Stormy~ gasped. "Where did you get that?!"

"Searched through your stuff," Hugh said nonchalantly as he walked up to Chris and handed him the wooden idol. "See, if you had just listened to me before, this could have been avoided."

"That can't be allowed!" Stormy~ cried.

"You must be new here," Chris said. "At any rate, this is a legit statue. Meaning the person with the next-highest number of votes will be eliminated. That person being... Stormy~!"

"But... my publicity," Stormy~ pouted.

"You were on this show. That's publicity enough," Chris said. "Anyone who wants to see Stormy~ off, follow us to the Dock of Shame."

* * *

Chris, Stormy~, Amelie, Ephraim, and Hugh all went to the Dock of Shame.

"I still can't believe this is happening," Stormy~ said. "I didn't expect to go this early."

"That's what happens when you play with fire," Hugh said. "Now how about a kiss for the road, babe?"

"Are you serious?!" Stormy~ asked. "You've treated me bad, you stole from me, and you got me eliminated, and you want a kiss?!"

"Don't act like you're not impressed," Hugh sneered.

Stormy~ thrust her knee in Hugh's groin, prompting him to fall to the ground in a fetal position.

"Alright, that's enough," Ephraim said as he stood in between Hugh and Stormy~.

"I'll... I'll miss you," Amelie told Stormy~. "We never did have that beach day."

"We will have it someday, Amelie," Stormy~ assured her friend as she gave her a hug.

"Take care," Ephraim smiled as Stormy~ let go of Amelie.

"You too," Stormy~ beamed.

"I take it that's all the goodbyes?" Chris asked as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors. "Any last words?"

"Good luck, Amelie and Ephraim," Stormy~ said with a sad smile. "See you soon. But hopefully not too soon."

"Aww, ain't that cute?" Chris said sardonically. "Amelie, Ephraim, Hugh, you three can head to bed."

As the three walked off, Stormy~ entered the Elevator.

"Stormy~, you have finished the game in 21st place," Chris said.

"Buy my album!" Stormy~ shouted to the camera.

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater.

"By no fault of her own, our J-Pop star seems to have burned out," Chris said to the camera.

"I totally didn't see that coming!" Lindsay added as she arrived on the scene.

"What will Hugh do now that he has no allies?" Chris asked. "Will Mondo remain a lone wolf? Will Jasper continue to stick with Cordelia for much longer?"

"Will Genesis decide on a side to stick to?" Lindsay asked. "Will Isidora keep slowing her team down? Will Ursula scare anyone else?"

"I can hardly wait to find out myself," Chris beamed.

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Hugh:** I vote for Cordelia. And good freaking riddance.

 **Cordelia:** Hugh is the meanest mean to have ever meaned and I want him gone.

 **Mondo:** I have to vote for Cordelia. Whether or not you threw it, you still lost us the challenge.

 **Jasper:** Cordy insists that Hugh goes, and I don't think the kid's ever talked to me once, so that's fine by me.

 **Ephraim:** I vote for Hugh. He's a toxic influence on Stormy~ and I won't tolerate it any longer.

 **Amelie:** Hugh's really mean... and scary... and I hope this works because if it doesn't he'll probably beat me up.

 **Stormy~:** I... vote for Hugh. Ephraim's right: Hugh isn't a friend of mine. Cordelia can always go next time.

 **Kelsey:** My brilliant plan is to flush Stormy~'s idol. I talked to Mondo about it, so if this works, I'll owe him one.

 **Vardaman:** I don't like it, but I'm votin' for Stormy~. She's a sweet kid, but I guess havin' a hidden statue makes her a threat.

 **Tori:** Stormy~ is weak, and eliminating her idol will destroy any excuse to keep her around.

 **Quentin:** I vote for Stormy~. We're only flushing her statue, after all. It's not like she's going home or anything.

* * *

 _A/N: And with the first statue play of the season, Stormy~ has been eliminated!_

 _Stormy~ was fun to write, being a cute, kind of clueless character, but overall I didn't have any long-term plot ideas for her. Her friendship with Bijou was entirely improvised, and while she was always going to have plot with Hugh, Hugh just had a bit more to offer than she did. Like it or not, this is where Stormy~ goes._


	7. Ep 06: The 3600 Shekel Show

_A/N: So... I'm helping cohost an online reality game right now, so updates may be kinda slow (or at least slower than usual). I'll try to make updates more frequent from now on, but no promises._

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, we had our first water challenge, in which we sent our campers diving for golden coins scattered throughout the seafloor," Chris recapped. "As usual, some campers did well, while others nearly drowned."

"Ooh! And that one Cordelia girl threw the challenge," Lindsay added. "I don't remember why. I think she thought it would help her make friends, but I'm not sure how that works."

"Neither am I, and I'm the smart one between us," Chris admitted. "Speaking of the Screaming Italics, Amelie and Stormy~ managed to bond a little, Vardaman apologized to Jasper for something that was no fault of his own, and Kelsey began working up some schemes to keep herself in power."

"And on the Killer Blackfaces, Genesis joined Fauna's alliance, even though Phoenix and Yolonda are thinking of leaving it," Lindsay continued. "Also Warwick really wants one of those hidden statues, and Isidora's condition really hurt her in the challenge."

"Much to Isidora's relief, however, Cordelia successfully threw the challenge, causing the Screaming Italics to lose once again," Chris stated. "The vote seemed split between Hugh and Cordelia, but Kelsey got her alliance to vote for Stormy~ in order to flush her hidden statue. Hugh got the most votes that night, but as it turns out, he swiped Stormy~'s hidden statue without her knowing, which actually meant Stormy~ went home that night! Hahaha."

"That's not funny at all!" Lindsay objected. "That's super unfair."

"This is Total Drama. It ain't fair," Chris stated. Just then, his phone rang from his pocket, and he answered it. "Hello?" He covered the phone with his hand and spoke to Lindsay. "I have to take this. You can close the recap."

As Chris walked away from the Dock of Shame, Lindsay looked awkwardly at the camera.

"Okay, so, um, what's up with Cordelia?" Lindsay asked the camera. "Will Genesis get discovered being in two alliances? Who will win today? The answers to these questions and more, right here, on Total! _Drama_! _ALPHA PARTY_!"

* * *

Lindsay later found Chris in the staff lounge, talking on his cell phone.

"I mean, come on!" Chris complained to whoever was on the other line. "Adding rules in the middle of the season is soooo tacky!"

There was a pause.

"And what about Hugh? He technically didn't break any rules because this rule hasn't happened yet," Chris continued.

Another pause.

"Good. I'll tell the campers. Oh, and while I have you, can you set, like, a guidelines for Lindsay so she doesn't just shock me willy-nilly?" Chris asked. "I dunno, sometimes I don't feel like it's warranted at all."

Another pause.

"Ugh, fine, but can she not be here next season? It's seriously getting old," Chris said, annoyed. "Cool. Thanks." Chris hung up his phone.

"Who was that?" Lindsay asked, suddenly behind Chris.

Chris jumped. "Geez, Lindsay. Give me a heart attack..." Chris grumbled. "Anyway, that was the executive producer. We have to establish a new rule in the game. Also there's a decent chance you won't show up for next season if you do a bad job with the shock collar."

"W-Well which one's a bad job? Shocking a lot, or a little?"

"Both," Chris grinned. "Now, if you'll excuse me..."

Chris walked up to the control panel, which had multiple monitors showing live camera feeds of the island, as well as several buttons, dials, and a microphone. Chris took the microphone in his hands.

"Attention, campers!" Chris announced. "In light of certain events which occurred last night, we're forced to add a new rule to this game: you may not steal another camper's Hidden Invincibility Statue. Doing so will result in penalty votes for the next several eliminations you attend. We're still deciding on a number, but yeah. Don't do that. If someone offers to give you their statue, that's fine, but no taking one without permission. Hugh, you're off the hook since you took Stormy~'s statue before the rule was enacted, but you will be getting a verbal warning. Don't do it again. McLean, out!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Aw, come on! Literally just as I was about to take Fauna's idol! Now how am I supposed to get one?

 **Hugh:** Tch. Well how about that? I'm so good at this bad boy thing that they need to make up rules to keep me contained. It's good for my ego, but bad for my game, because I highly doubt Amelie and Ephraim want me to stick around them. I'm going to need some new allies, because my only one just left last night. I mean, it was her or me, so the choice was obvious, but I'm still not in a good position.

* * *

Hugh noticed Mondo eating breakfast alone, so he sat across from him.

"Hey, Mondo. We're kind of friends, right?" Hugh asked.

"I'm pretty sure the first time you spoke to me was last night when you were trying to get my vote," Mondo answered.

"And hey, we both voted for Cordelia, right?" Hugh asked.

"Let me guess, you need allies because your only ally left last night?" Mondo asked savvily.

"Pretty much," Hugh shrugged. "And I don't see you with any real allies either, so really, us working together would benefit the both of us."

"I guess you have a point," Mondo conceded. "But I get the be the leader between us."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Hugh smirked.

"Anyway, I was thinking of aligning with Tori and maybe Quentin as well," Mondo said. "So getting them onboard with us could actually put us in a pretty good position."

"I thought they were aligned with Kelsey and Vardaman," Hugh pointed out.

"Shoot, are they?" Mondo asked. "Well, between me and Kelsey, I feel like I'm easier to work with, but then between you and Vardaman..."

"I mean, I guess there's no harm in asking them," Hugh shrugged. "Plus, you have a hidden statue and she doesn't, so really, who's going to be more secure for them to align with?"

"...You're not just aligning with me for my idol, are you?" Mondo asked.

"It wasn't the primary reason," Hugh said.

"I'm not giving it to you," Mondo said firmly.

"I wasn't expecting you to," Hugh leered. "I'm a dick, but I'm not an artard."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mondo:** I didn't expect Hugh of all people to align with me, but he was desperate, and I guess I could use some allies, so why not? Heck, anything to help me get rid of Cordelia, or Jasper, or Kelsey, or Vardaman. Wow, I have a lot of enemies.

 **Hugh:** The best part about all of this is that while Mondo starts to become this huge target with an alliance and an invincibility statue, I can just be his non-threatening sidekick and keep on keepin' on for as long as he's useful to me.

* * *

Ursula hid in a bush in the forest, waiting for someone to scare.

"Alright... Isidora was a bust... but I'll scare someone, mark my words," Ursula chuckled.

"I believe in you," Osric said from behind her.

"Thanks," Ursula said. "Wait, when the hell did you get here?!"

"Oh, I just now found you," Osric said. "I was taking a stroll in the forest, and your purple hair stands out among all the green, not going to lie."

"So you're saying trying to scare someone in the forest is just a waste of my time?" Ursula asked as she stood up.

"I-I mean, that's not what I was trying to say," Osric stammered.

"No, you're right," Ursula said. "Naomi and Isidora both saw me coming because I guess this is where I'm known to be."

"Is it? I had no idea," Osric lied with an awkward chuckle.

"You can't be scared if you know the scares are coming," Ursula stated. "I should hide in places where no one would expect me to be."

"Like where?" Osric asked curiously.

"Well I can't tell you. That'd ruin the surprise. Heheheheheheh," Ursula snickered. "But hey, thanks for the tip, bro."

With that, Ursula left her bush and ran off to elsewhere.

"She's amazing," Osric swooned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Osric:** She called me "bro". That hurts, honestly, because I don't want to be her bro, I want to be her bae. Should I act all weird and over-the-top like Xingrong did? I mean, you're supposed to be yourself when it comes to girls, but being myself hasn't given me any luck so far. Maybe I'll ask Genesis again.

 **Ursula:** _(She is messing with the inside of the confessional door.)_ Heheh. I just put some bug stickers on the inside of the door. That should freak out the next person who uses this confessional.

* * *

Amelie and Ephraim met up at the beach.

"Alright, we've shirked a bit on toughness training, but I think we can pick up where we left off," Ephraim told her.

"Do we have to?" Amelie whined.

"I think it's best for you," Ephraim said. "What if something happens and I get eliminated? How would you deal with people like Hugh?"

"I'd hide under my bed and cry?" Amelie suggested.

"I don't think that'll help any," Ephraim smiled. "Besides, I don't think you have to worry. If I recall correctly, you haven't received any votes thus far in the game."

"I'm sure they're conspiring to vote me out at any minute," Amelie whimpered.

"Who's 'they'?" Ephraim asked.

"Well, I know Cordelia doesn't like me, and she's aligned with Jasper, plus Hugh doesn't like me, so he could join them, and I see Tori giving me mean looks sometimes, and she's aligned with Kelsey, Quentin, and Vardaman, so that's a majority right there!" Amelie panicked.

"I don't think Hugh would align with Cordelia or Jasper," Ephraim reminded her. "He doesn't like them, remember? He tried to vote Cordelia out."

"That was probably just a lie to get me into a false sense of security," Amelie pouted.

"Then why did Cordelia get votes last night?" Ephraim asked.

"To continue that false sense of security," Amelie said.

"Amelie, I can say with 100% confidence that you are nobody's target," Ephraim assured her. "You should give yourself some more credit."

"Why? What's there to take credit for?" Amelie asked.

"Well, you... you're a sweet gal," Ephraim told her. "Easily the sweetest on this team. Probably the sweetest on the island."

"People could take advantage of that," Amelie told him.

Ephraim took a deep breath.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ephraim:** I don't understand why Amelie thinks everything and everyone is out to get her. Has she had bad experiences before? I should figure it out soon, because, sweet as she is, she can be a bit whiny, and it's been getting on my nerves a bit.

 **Amelie:** _(Her eyes go wide a_ s she sees the confessional door.) EEEEEEEEEEK! Bugs in the confessional. Bugs in the confessional!

* * *

Genesis brought Naomi to the girls' cabin.

"Whoa, I mean, I like you as a friend, Genesis, but I don't think I'm ready for this," Naomi said nervously.

"I'll take that as a joke," Genesis texted, a slightly annoyed look on her face. "Look, of everyone in the game, you're the one I trust the most."

"Aww, really?" Naomi asked. "That's so sweet of you."

"That's why I wish to form a side alliance with you," Genesis texted. "While we're aligned with Osric and Ursula, I think we should look out for each other over them."

"So, wait, is this one of those final two deals I think I heard about once from this guy I talked to in the airport before I flew out to Ontario because he's a fan of the show?" Naomi asked.

"If that helps," Genesis texted. "Oh, but we should keep it a secret. We don't want people to know, because that'll make us targets."

"Ohhhhhh, okay, that makes sense," Naomi nodded. "Yeah, that sounds super fun. We can be the Super Secret Duo, pulling the strings from behind the scenes. Ooh, that even rhymes kind of! This is just getting better and better, isn't it?"

"It is," Genesis texted with a smile.

"Can we make Super Secret Duo decoder rings?" Naomi asked.

"Er, let's hold off on that," Genesis texted. "It could give us away."

"Ohhhh, good point. I see you," Naomi said with a sly smile. "We'll just be that much more secret. How fun!"

Genesis silently chuckled to herself.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** _Da da da da da da dadadadadada daaaaaaa!_ I'm working on a Super Secret Duo theme song for me to sing when we're on super secret missions. It's a work in progress.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Though I have many allies on my team, and don't really make myself a target, I feel like having a right-hand ally will make it easier for me if people do catch on to me being a strategic and social threat. And I wasn't lying: Naomi is the person on this team that I trust the most. I hope that trust won't be misplaced.

* * *

Cordelia and Jasper met up behind the washrooms.

"Jaaaaaaspeeeeeeeeeer!" Cordelia cried.

"Yes, Cordy?" Jasper asked, picking his ear.

"I threw the challenge and voted for Hugh like you said and nobody's been talking to meeeeeeeee!" Cordelia pouted.

"I'm talking to you, aren't I?" Jasper asked. "And really, who matters more in this game than I do, present company excluded?"

"You do make a good point, but that's just not who I am," Cordelia frowned. "I want as many friends as I can possibly make."

"I'm pretty sure Ephraim voted for Hugh. Why not talk to him?" Jasper suggested.

"But he's friends with Amelie, and I don't like her," Cordelia pointed out.

"You don't have to talk to Amelie, just Ephraim," Jasper suggested. "Who knows? He may fall for your natural charm so much that he ditches Amelie altogether and hangs with us all the time."

"Ooh, that sounds cool," Cordelia smiled. "I'll go try to find him now. But wait, what if he's with Amelie?"

"Talk to him later?" Jasper suggested.

"I guess I could always talk to someone on the other team if all else fails," Cordelia mused. "Thanks, Jasper."

"What am I here for?" Jasper smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Cordelia:** It's not easy when half your team isn't friendly, especially when you're me. But gosh darn it, I'll do my best and make as many friends as I possibly can.

 **Jasper:** I'm just trying to keep her occupied so she doesn't bug me 24/7.

* * *

Fauna and Yolonda sat idly on the Dock of Shame.

"So... what are you thinking about?" Yolonda asked boredly.

"Various ways to gruesomely kill all the oppressive white scum in this game," Fauna answered simply. "You?"

"All the stuff my friends at home might be doing without me," Yolonda said.

"See, all my friends are on the internet, so even if I'm away from home, I don't gotta worry about that," Fauna stated.

"You really don't have a single friend you talk to in real life?" Yolonda inquired.

"Tch no," Fauna scoffed. "Nobody in real life gets how serious the oppression towards POC is. They all shun me. Even other POC!"

"Remind me, POC is...?" Yolonda asked.

"People of color!" Fauna snapped. "See, this is exactly what I'm talking about. Nobody is nearly as passionate about ending the whitelord reign over society as my friends and I, and it's frankly kind of sickening."

"I don't really notice any 'whitelord reign' or anything," Yolonda said.

"Again, that's just more of the problem!" Fauna ranted. "They've brainwashed you into thinking everything's okay, when it isn't!"

"All I know is, I don't think this is what MLK would have wanted," Yolonda muttered.

"Um, MLK was the _original_ social justice warrior thank you very much," Fauna frowned.

"I'm not exactly comfortable with this conversation," Yolonda said as she stood up and left.

"If you don't do anything to stop white privilege, you're only enabling it!" Fauna called as Yolonda walked off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fauna:** How can Yolonda of all people be so _blind_ to this?! See, this is why I'm glad Genesis is starting to see the light. I'm honestly not sure how much more ignorance I can take.

 **Yolonda:** How does one even come to half the conclusions Fauna's come to? She's starting to sound like a conspiracy theorist.

* * *

Quentin and Tori took a stroll through the forest.

"Remind me what we're doing," Tori requested.

"Looking for birds so we can birdwatch," Quentin smiled.

"And what is the purpose of birdwatching?" Tori asked.

"For fun," Quentin shrugged.

"It sounds like a waste of time to me," Tori grunted.

"Aw, come on, at least try it," Quentin urged with a smile. "It's pretty relaxing."

"I don't have time for relaxation," Tori said. "I am here to get stronger, not to look at birds."

"You couldn't take just a little break?" Quentin asked.

"Quentin, I am your friend, so you should know not to keep me from my daily workouts," Tori said bluntly.

"You really take exercise seriously," Quentin pointed out.

"If you knew why that was, you wouldn't try to stop me," Tori stated.

"Oh. So why is it?" Quentin asked curiously.

"That's personal information," Tori said quickly.

"Oh. Okay," Quentin said, slightly disappointed. "You can go work out more if you really want."

"Thanks," Tori said flatly as she ran off.

"You're quite the curious person, Tori," Quentin thought aloud after Tori had left.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Quentin:** I mean, I know not everyone shares the same interests, but I never thought Tori would be so against anything that isn't working out. How weird.

 **Tori:** Quentin is free to have as much fun as he wants, but I don't have time for fun. Not when I have time to get stronger.

* * *

Isidora found Phoenix sitting on her usual rock, reading a book.

"Oh, is it Freaky Friday already?" Isidora asked. "Good morning, Isidora. How are you?"

"For your information, I'm enjoying a relaxing, stress-free morning for the first time since we arrived on the island," Phoenix told her as he adjusted his glasses. "So I'd appreciate it if you took your winning personality elsewhere."

"What are you reading, anyway?" Isidora asked as she tried to take a look at the cover of Phoenix's book.

"It's a book about the Myers-Briggs assessment," Phoenix answered.

"I didn't know you were interested in psychology," Isidora said with a slight smile. "Do you know which personality type you are?"

"INTJ," Phoenix answered.

"I'm INTP if I remember correctly," Isidora said. "Heh. I wonder how lost the viewers are right now."

"I would say 'hopefully not very', but then I remember that this show's target demographic is middle schoolers," Phoenix remarked.

"True, but how many of its viewers are actually middle schoolers?" Isidora pointed out.

"Considering how argumentative the Total Drama fandom can be, I'd say most of them have the mental capacity of middle schoolers," Phoenix said.

"Aaaaaaaaand you just lost a lot of fans," Isidora smirked as she glanced at the camera.

"I'm here to win, not to make fans," Phoenix stated. "Besides, if I do win, they'll probably edit that part out to make me look more sympathetic."

"Probably," Isidora shrugged.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** That conversation brought me back to my psych phase a couple years ago. I took so many personality tests online. It was honestly kind of embarrassing.

 **Phoenix:** I'll admit, I never thought much of Isidora before, but I didn't mind talking about something intelligent for once. Yolonda holds no interest in academic topics, and Fauna's... well, Fauna. Maybe it'd be in my best interest to keep Isidora around. Er, if only to keep myself sane. Which is an entirely logical reason.

* * *

Vardaman led a limping Kelsey to his bed in the boys' cabin.

"So let me get this straight," Vardaman said. "You tried doin' pull-ups on a tree branch like Tori does, the branch snapped, and you broke your leg?"

"I _think_ it's broken," Kelsey winced as she sat on the bed.

"Well, let me take a look at it," Vardaman said as he examined Kelsey's leg. "Doesn't seem broken to me, but I think your ankle's sprained. That's a relief to hear, huh?"

"How is that a relief?!" Kelsey snapped. "I can still barely walk. How can I be an effective leader in this state? What if we have another physical challenge where everyone has to participate?!"

Kelsey began to hyperventilate.

"Well, here's what I'd recommend," Vardaman said as he handed Kelsey an ice pack from his first-aid kit. "Keep this on your ankle, keep it elevated, and take it easy for the rest of the morning."

"T-take it easy?!" Kelsey gasped."Do you even know me? I can't do that!"

"Hey, hey," Vardaman said calmly. "It'll be alright. I'll see if I can get some crutches for you. Just hang tight, and if another guy walks in and asks, just tell him I'm helping you out and I'll be right back."

"It'll be okay... it'll be okay... it'll be okay..." Kelsey recited this mantra to herself as Vardaman left the cabin. "I never should have tried pull-ups. They're not _nearly_ as easy as they look on TV."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kelsey:** I figured I'd try exercise so I'd have an easier time in the merge. And it worked out _so_ well, didn't it?! Ugh... keep it together, Kelsey. You can't let one little injury keep you down.

 **Vardaman:** I haven't had a lot of opportunities to bring out my medical skills - mostly just bandaging up Naomi's latest scrapes. Havin' to do so now is... bittersweet. I like practicin' for bein' a doctor, but Kelsey don't seem to be takin' it real well.

* * *

Warwick and Zarardo stood on top of the thousand-foot cliff.

"I still call bias on Chris announcing that new rule just as I was about to take Fauna's idol," Warwick pouted.

"I assume he's only jealous of your power," Zarardo said as he idly played with his Fushigi ball.

"That would make sense," Warwick nodded. "But then the question arises: how am I to obtain one?"

"You could always befriend someone who holds one," Zarardo suggested. "I maintain my belief that Isidora holds the statue Ronoc once held. Considering she's in our alliance, it might be for the best to hold a rapport with her anyway."

"I'll consider it," Warwick said. "Who else on our team holds one?"

"If I recall correctly, Fauna and Genesis," Zarardo answered.

"Aha! Genesis!" Warwick exclaimed. "She's already quite well-liked. She doesn't need an idol. And she seems like a sweet kid, too, so maybe she'll give it to me if I ask her! Zarardo, you're a genius!"

"I like to think so," Zarardo grinned.

"I shall speak with her now!" Warwick declared as he dashed down the cliff path... only to trip and tumble down the path. Zarardo winced slightly as he watched Warwick fall.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** In a game like this, anyone can go at any time, even royalty like myself! That's why I must secure my, well, security in this game, by procuring one of those hidden statues. I don't have enough of a connection with the Italics to ask any of them, but Genesis... that could work.

 **Zarardo:** Maybe when he inevitably fails to get Genesis' statue, I'll try for it myself. You can never be too secure in this game.

* * *

The twenty campers met up at the amphitheater. Chris and Lindsay stood onstage.

"Alright, campers, now that we're all here, it's time for another challenge," Chris announced.

"And this one's going to be super fun probably!" Lindsay cheered.

"This is a simple one, so let's cut to the chase," Chris smiled. "Today's challenge is a talent show. Each team will send up five, count 'em five, representatives to perform their talents to be judged on a scale of one to ten by my lovely assistant here."

"That's me!" Lindsay beamed.

"Five, huh? That's a lot," Amelie pointed out.

"Oh, and as an added bonus, this challenge also has one of those rewards... kind of," Chris added. "As an added incentive to participate, the person or people on the losing team with the highest score in the challenge will earn Invincibility for the night."

"Killer," Ursula grinned.

"You have until 7 tonight to decide who's going up and for the people you've chosen to practice their performances," Chris concluded. "And don't forget to have fun... destroying the hopes and dreams of the competit- OW!"

Lindsay had zapped Chris's shock collar.

"Sometimes I feel like you only do that to be relevant to this season," Chris remarked.

Lindsay zapped him again.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kelsey:** Ugh! Of course one of our most talented teammates had to leave last night! And of course I had to be the one to vote her out! What is wrong with me?! _(She begins pulling at her hair.)_

 **Zarardo:** ...This is my challenge. _(He flashes a wide grin.)_

 **Quentin:** How cool. I wonder what kind of talents all of us have. Maybe someone can juggle chainsaws. Wouldn't that be something?

 **Isidora:** What do you know? I challenge I can feasibly do. That's right, I have a talent. And considering I'm probably still a target after my performance in yesterday's challenge, playing in this challenge could be a good failsafe if we do happen to lose.

* * *

The whole Screaming Italics team met up at their table in the mess hall to discuss who would be participating in the talent show.

"Alright, first thing's first: any volunteers?" Kelsey asked.

"What happened to your leg?" Hugh asked. "...I'm not worried or anything. I'm just curious."

"I sprained it this morning. Shut up," Kelsey scowled.

"I'll volunteer!" Cordelia shouted as she raised her hand.

"What's your talent?" Ephraim asked.

"I've been in ballet since I was a little girl," Cordelia smiled.

"You're still a little girl," Tori pointed out.

"But now I'm a teenager. Doesn't matter. Just watch!" Cordelia stood up and began ballet dancing. To the surprise of her teammates, she did a good job, with fluid, graceful, precise movements.

"Hot damn, Cordy!" Jasper encouraged.

"You should do the talent show too, Jasper!" Cordelia beamed.

"No thanks. Lindsay's the judge, and she doesn't have the right parts for me to showcase my talent on her," Jasper giggled.

"Gross," Mondo winced.

"I thought you were gay," Jasper pointed out.

"I am. But I'm also not gross," Mondo leered.

"Ah!" Jasper scoffed in offense. "Well if you're so great why don't you showcase your talent?"

Mondo silently crawled under the table.

"I thought he said he _wasn't_ \- WHOA!" Amelie gasped as Mondo lifted the entire table, with his teammates sitting on it.

"I suppose someone like Lindsay might find that impressive," Tori remarked.

Mondo dropped the table back onto the floor. "And what's your talent?" Mondo asked Tori.

Tori stood up and took a deep breath before delivering a powerful karate chop to the center of the table, causing it to cleave in two.

"I can also do that to stacks of cinderblocks, if you're curious," Tori boasted.

"Woo! Go Tori!" Quentin cheered as he clapped his hands.

"Interestin'," Vardaman nodded. "Now, I don't have a talent that'll really work in a show. Anyone else?"

"I can juggle," Hugh shrugged.

"Really?" Ephraim asked.

"Yeah," Hugh shrugged. "I got bored one day and looked up how to do it and practiced it... and, uh, you'd better let me do it!"

"If no one has any objections," Kelsey agreed. "That's four already. Anyone else?"

Silence.

"I mean, I've been practicing birdcalls," Quentin shrugged.

"It'll do," Kelsey nodded. "Is this fine with everyone else?"

This was met with various "yes"-es, nods and grunts of agreement.

"Cool. Then let's do this!" Quentin cheered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I hope we don't lose. I don't want to be backstabbed!

 **Ephraim:** I'll admit, I don't have a ton of confidence in us, since our talents aren't very flashy, but knowing the Boldface, I wouldn't count us out just yet either.

 **Jasper:** I have no idea how the vote would go if we lose, so I'm _praying_ that we don't lose.

 **Kelsey:** My talent is leading our team to victory, so in a way, my talent will contribute to our win.

 **Vardaman:** I'm glad to hear today's challenge ain't the kind Kelsey'll need to exert herself for. She needs to rest.

* * *

The Killer Boldface, meanwhile, had stuck around the amphitheater to discuss their talents.

"Well, this should be easy," Genesis texted. "We have a pretty talented team."

Naomi slowly raised her hand.

"No skating, Naomi," her teammates all said in unison.

Naomi slowly put her hand back down.

"First thing's first," Zarardo grinned as he procured a deck of playing cards from his pocket. "I can put a magic show for our fair hostess."

"I second this!" Warwick declared. "Er, I mean, I decree it!"

"You can't tell us what to do," Fauna spat. "I'm only fine with the idea because it's Zarardo's idea."

"Moving on," Yolonda said quickly. "Do you think it'd count if I cooked a meal for Lindsay?"

"I don't see why not," Phoenix said. "Cooking's a handy talent."

"Alright, that's two POCs already, good, good..." Fauna thought aloud. "Genesis, what can you do?"

Genesis shook her head in response.

"Phoenix?" Fauna asked.

"Unless reciting pointless nerd culture trivia or passing exams is considered a talent, I don't think I'll be of much use in this one," Phoenix admitted.

"What can you do, Fauna?" Osric asked.

"I'm good at giving speeches," Fauna said proudly. "In fact, I've prepared many in case anyone actually wanted to hear them."

"Are the speeches anti-white?" Osric asked flatly.

"Of course," Fauna responded.

"But Lindsay's white!" Warwick gasped. "You can't do that. You should at least know your audience."

"See, this is just a perfect example of why I _need_ to recite one of my speeches," Fauna pointed out.

"We'll take your talent into consideration, Fauna," Yolonda said.

"If it helps, I think I have a good talent," Ursula snickered.

"I'll say," Naomi said with a shiver.

"I'm actually half-decent at giving people good monster makeup," Ursula said with a grin.

"So you'll give Lindsay a makeover?" Genesis texted.

"Exactly," Ursula chuckled.

"It sounds risky," Phoenix pointed out. "What if she gets too scared and doesn't like it?"

"Tch. Can't be more risky than Fauna's thing," Ursula scoffed.

"Eh, good point," Phoenix shrugged.

"I'd actually like to put my hat in the ring," Osric said.

"What can you do?" Zarardo asked.

"My experience in writing love letters has granted me a certain knack for poetry," Osric said in faux modesty. "My English teacher loves posting my poetry assignments on the wall."

"Awwwwwww!" Naomi cooed.

"There we go. That's five," Fauna said.

"Now hold on," Yolonda said. "Isidora, you haven't spoken yet. Anything to add?"

Isidora smirked. "Oh, I thought you'd never ask. I'm actually quite proficient with the piano."

"Nice," Zarardo smiled.

"Well did you bring a piano?" Fauna asked.

"I'll ask Chris for one," Isidora said. "You guys know me. I'm not the lying type."

"You hardly talk to any of us," Genesis texted.

"Well I like the idea," Osric smiled. "All in favor?"

Everyone other than Fauna responded with "Aye!"

Fauna simmered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fauna:** If I were white and had an anti-black speech, they'd probably let me do it.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I do have talents, but I'd rather not be seen as a threat for exposing them thank you very much.

 **Naomi:** Someday, I'll be good enough to skate for this team. _(She puts on a serious face.)_ Someday...

 **Phoenix:** Call me crazy, but I doubt Lindsay wants to hear about Fire Emblem mechanics or advanced calculus _or_ racist rants. She probably would want to hear a romantic poem or piano recital though. She just strikes me as the type.

 **Warwick:** I'll just wait for "owning a magnificent mustache" to be considered a viable talent.

* * *

The ten campers who weren't competing in the challenge, as well as Lindsay, sat at the bleachers in front of the amphitheater. Chris stood onstage, wearing a fancy blue suit.

"Welcome, one and all, to the Total Drama Talent Show!" Chris announced. "Here's how it'll go: the acts will alternate between the two teams, starting with the Italics. We'll also be going alphabetically for each team, as is the theme this season."

"Get on with it!" Warwick called.

"Alright, alright. Yeezh!" Chris responded. "First up, for the Screaming Italics, is Cordelia, with a ballet dance for us all to enjoy."

"Sounds creepy when he puts it like that," Jasper chuckled.

Chris walked offstage as the audience gave their applause. Just then, Cordelia came up from backstage onto the main stage. She had put her hair up in a bun and she wore a pink tutu, tights, and ballet shoes. Jasper whistled for her as she began her dance.

The music began to play, and Cordelia began her dance with some precise tiptoe steps, holding her arms in precise positions. Her steps became broader and broader before she began pirouetting, holding her arms out in order for her to keep balance. It wasn't long before she was leaping gracefully across the stage, her arms swaying fluidly with the music. She concluded her dance with several fast-paced pirouettes.

"Very nice, very nice," Chris smiled as he walked back onstage. "Lindsay, how would you rate it?"

Lindsay thought for a bit. "It was cute, but there wasn't a lot of variety to it. It was mostly just tiptoeing and spinning."

"That's what ballet is!" Cordelia objected.

"I'll give it a six," Lindsay decided.

"Six it is," Chris said as he wrote Cordelia's score down on a clipboard. "Thank you, Cordelia. You're dismissed."

Cordelia grumbled as she walked offstage.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Cordelia:** _(Her eyes are vacuous.)_ Lindsay isn't my friend.

 **Jasper:** I won't lie, if I wasn't pretending to be gay, I'd ask Cordelia for some friendly benefits right away. ...What? I may be a pervert, but I'm a _classy_ pervert. Artistic dancing does it for me.

* * *

"Next up, our first performance for the Killer Boldface!" Chris announced as a handful of interns moved a piano onto the stage, causing a loud thud when they finally set it down. "Isidora will be performing on the piano."

Isidora went onstage, cracked her knuckles, and sat down on the stool in front of the piano. She began to play the piano accompaniment for "Carnival of Venice". Her fingers deftly ran across the piano keys and she seamlessly played the song for all to hear. As she finished, the whole scene went quiet before the audience all broke into applause.

"Well done, Isidora," Chris smiled. "Lindsay, what'd you think?"

"That was so cool," Lindsay chirped. "I'll give you an eight!'

"I'll take it," Isidora shrugged as she walked offstage.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** Cordelia must not understand how the whole "winning" thing works, because this is twice in a row where I of all people have outdone her in a challenge.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I've heard better, but for the sake of the challenge, I'm definitely not complaining.

* * *

"And with that lovely performance, the Killer Boldface take the lead," Chris announced. "Next up, for the Screaming Italics, we have Hugh, with his juggling act."

The applause was scattered as Hugh walked onstage with his hands in his hoodie pockets.

"Ingrates..." Hugh muttered. "Anyway, I'm Hugh, and..." He took his hands out of his pockets to reveal that he held three juggling balls. "I'm gonna juggle."

Hugh began to juggle the three balls with little effort.

"This is boring," Warwick whispered to Genesis.

"Oh is it?" Hugh snarled. "Chris, toss me some more."

Chris revealed that he'd been holding more juggling balls and tossed a couple to Hugh. It threw him off his rhythm a bit to integrate the new balls into his routine, but he got the hang of it. Upon seeing the still-bored faces of the audience, Hugh scowled.

"More balls, Chris," Hugh ordered.

"Heh. Not the first time I've heard _that_ sentence," Jasper joked.

Chris added two more balls to Hugh's routine, giving Hugh seven balls to juggle simultaneously.

"These are all the juggling balls I brought with me, so this is as good as it gets," Hugh told the audience.

"Well, it's kind of cool, but if that's really it..." Lindsay said. "A five?"

"A five... I'd like to see you do this," Hugh scoffed as he walked offstage.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Juggling's not as easy as it looks, you know. At least I know I did better than at least five of my teammates in this challenge.

 **Amelie:** It's weird to think that even mean people can be talented. Meanwhile I don't have any talents... unless having panic attacks counts. I'm pretty good at that.

* * *

"The Italics have the lead for now, but the Boldface now have a chance to pick it back up," Chris announced. "Next up is Osric, reciting a poem he wrote."

Osric walked onstage with a note in his hand.

"Hello, all. I'm Osric, and I will be reciting a poem I wrote earlier today. It's called 'Golden Stars', and it was written in the style of a Shakespearean sonnet. I hope you enjoy."

Osric cleared his throat before reading his poem.

"Your beauty radiates like golden stars;

I can't believe my luck to be near you.

And should this love of mine turn into ours,

I eagerly await the chance to woo.

For such a lovely maid should be adored

In such a way that only I can give.

If you would only let me be your lord,

There's nothing that my love shall not outlive.

I only ask for you to take a chance,

So I can show you all you'll ever want.

A girl like you deserves the best romance:

The type that to your friends you'd wish to flaunt.

So let me move into your atmosphere,

And I'll make every day reason to cheer."

"Ugh. Please," Fauna scoffed. "That was so-"

"So nine points!" Lindsay exclaimed, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Thank you, Lindsay," Osric said with a wink.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Osric:** Good to know our friendly judge is a romantic at heart. Maybe if things don't work out with Ursula... Hm...

 **Fauna:** That was the fakest load of crap I've ever heard. White people are literally incapable of love; there's no way that was for real.

* * *

"Appropriately enough, the Killer Boldface are _killing_ it right now," Chris announced. "Let's see if Mondo can turn things around with his heavy lifting skills."

Mondo walked onstage with a chair in his hand.

"Chairs aren't heavy, silly," Naomi giggled.

"Oh, it's not just the chair," Mondo said. "I'd like to invite everyone in the audience onstage."

The ten audience members (other than Kelsey) all glanced at each other in confusion before going onstage.

"Ephraim, please, have a seat," Mondo offered.

Ephraim sat down in the chair.

"Now what?" Ephraim asked.

""Vardaman, if you could sit on Ephraim's lap?" Mondo asked.

"Er, alrighty," Vardaman said in a bit of confusion.

"Now, Warwick, please sit on his lap," Mondo continued.

"Make me," Warwick said defiantly.

Mondo picked Warwick up and placed him on Vardaman's lap. He did the same with Phoenix, Jasper, Lindsay, Genesis, Fauna, Naomi, and Amelie, in that order.

"Now... observe," Mondo said to Kelsey. He bent down, gripped on the chair, and lifted it, with the ten people sitting on it, over his head.

"Whoa! This is so scary but also so cool!" Lindsay said in awe. "Eight points!"

"Why thank you," Mondo said somewhat smugly as he put the chair down and helped the people sitting on it to get off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mondo:** Who says all gay guys are sissy weaklings?

 **Ephraim:** I have to say, I'm impressed. I knew Mondo was strong, but, I'll be honest, I'm not sure I could lift that much weight. I wonder if there's a trick to it.

* * *

"Mondo definitely helped his team out with that one!" Chris announced. "Let's see if Ursula can catch her team back up with her makeup skills."

"I like to think I can," Ursula grinned as she walked in from backstage with a card table. "Lindsay, our lovely judge, if you would."

Lindsay walked onstage and sat at the chair Mondo had left there. Ursula laid out her makeup tools on the card table.

"I'll be doing some cool Halloween makeup for Lindsay for my talent," Ursula chuckled.

"Oooh, cute!" Lindsay chirped. "Make me a skeleton!"

"Heheheh. Can do," Ursula said coyly as she began to work on Lindsay's makeup.

Flash forward to Ursula finishing up.

"Does it usually take this long to do makeup?" Phoenix asked Kelsey.

"Not the way I do it," Kelsey answered. "Then again, I don't wear a lot of makeup."

"Done!" Ursula announced. She handed Lindsay a mirror. "What do you think?"

Lindsay looked at herself in the mirror to see that Ursula had made her up to look like a realistic skeleton with flesh rotting off and bone exposed.

"Aiiiiieeeeeeeee!" Lindsay squealed. "What is this?!"

"I made you up like a skeleton, like you asked," Ursula frowned.

"I thought you would do a cute face paint kind of skeleton, not this!" Lindsay cried. "This is worth, like, a three!"

Ursula scowled as she returned backstage.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** My makeup was technically amazing. Excuse me for overestimating our judge. Ah well. Her scream was pretty priceless, even if it did cost us the lead.

 **Naomi:** _(She closes her eyes and holds her finger up.)_ If I didn't know better, I'd say Ursula had actually killed Lindsay. Good thing I'm smart enough to not fall for Ursula's tricks, huh? _(She opens her eyes.)_ Eek! Bugs in the confessional!

* * *

"The Killer Boldface are only in the lead by 1 point now," Chris announced. "The Screaming Italics are still in this. Let's see how Quentin fares with his bird calls."

Quentin walked onstage.

"Okay, so, not much introduction, I guess," Quentin shrugged. "I'm going to do some bird calls for my talent."

Quentin cleared his throat before imitating some bird calls. As he did so, many birds flew towards the amphitheater and landed near him.

"Gasp! How cool," Quentin smiled. He continued his bird calls, which caused more birds to fly onto the scene.

"Awww, birdies!" Lindsay cooed. "I'll give you a nine!"

"Oh, I wasn't done, but that's cool," Quentin smiled. "Thanks."

As Quentin returned backstage, the birds all followed him.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Quentin:** If a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, then how much would all those birds be worth, I wonder?

 **Kelsey:** Lindsay has to be the most inconsistent judge of talent I've ever seen, but if it means we get leads like this, then more power to her, I guess.

* * *

"The Screaming Italics take the lead!" Chris announced. "Let's see if Yolonda can catch her team back up with her cooking skills."

Yolonda did not appear on the scene from backstage, but rather from the mess hall. She carried a covered platter with her.

"I spent the past hour preparing this for you," Yolonda said with a smile. "Bon appetit."

Yolonda placed the platter on Lindsay's lap and removed the cover, revealing the food beneath.

"This is almond-crusted tilapia with lemon and parsley on the side," Yolonda said. She turned to the rest of the audience. "And I made seven more if anyone else wants some. They're in the mess hall."

Fauna, Genesis, Jasper, Naomi, Phoenix, Vardaman, and Warwick all stood up and left for the mess hall.

Lindsay took a bite of the fish she'd been served.

"Mmm! This is really good," Lindsay said with a mouthful of food. "Um, is it healthy?"

"It's not unhealthy," Yolonda said.

"Seven points it is!" Lindsay decided.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Yolonda:** I'm probably not the best cook ever, since it's only a hobby I picked up a couple years ago, so a seven seems about right.

 **Phoenix:** _(With a plate of tilapia in his lap.)_ Can I just say I'm glad Yolonda's not making herself a target? I'd miss her food too much if she left.

* * *

"The Italics are still in the lead, but not by much," Chris announced. "This next round will make or break you, so no pressure on the last two acts. Heheheh."

Lindsay zapped Chris.

"Rude," Chris frowned as he rubbed at his neck. "Anyway, last up for the Italics, we have Tori!"

Four stacks of cinderblocks had been set up on the stage, each slightly elevated. Tori walked in from backstage and approached the first stack. Without a word, she pounded on the first stack, causing all the blocks to split in half.

"Whoa," Lindsay commented.

Tori moved on to the next stack. She hammered her forearm into this one, and, like the last stack, each cinderblock broke in two.

"Ach!" Warwick flinched.

Tori moved onto the next stack. She slammed her elbow into this one, and, like the previous two, each block broke in half.

"Wow," Phoenix remarked, his eyebrows raised.

Tori moved onto the last stack. She slammed her forehead into this one, and, like the others, all the blocks split in two.

"I am finished," Tori said to Lindsay.

"Okay, that was kinda cool the first time, but then you just did the same thing with different parts of your body," Lindsay pointed out. "Still, you did with your head, and that was cool. I'll give you a seven."

"If that is your decision," Tori nodded as she walked offstage.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Tori:** Lindsay's score does not reflect on my strength as a whole, so I am unbothered by my not getting a perfect score.

 **Vardaman:** I'm startin' to think the folks on my team are gettin' a bit reckless. I'm surprised Tori didn't knock herself out there.

* * *

"The Screaming Italics finish the challenge with 35 points," Chris announced. "The Killer Boldface have 27. They'll need an 8 to tie it up, or a 9 or 10 for the win. Can Zarardo wow Lindsay with his magic? Let's find out."

In a puff of smoke, Zarardo appeared onstage.

"I... am The Great Zarardo," Zarardo said. "And I invite you all to witness the spectacle that is my magic!"

With a flourish of his hand, he had a deck of cards fanned out facing the audience.

"I'm going to need a volunteer," Zarardo told the audience.

"Ooh! Ooh! Me!" Naomi called with her hand raised.

"How about the lovely blonde sitting over there?" Zarardo chose as he pointed to Lindsay.

"Ya- oh, wait, that's not me," Naomi said with pursed lips.

Lindsay walked up onstage in front of Zarardo.

"I want you to pick a card. And don't worry. I won't see it," Zarardo grinned as he shut his eyes and put his free hand over his shut eyes.

Lindsay tentatively chose a card. "Okay, it's the-"

"No, no, don't tell me," Zarardo implored. "Now please put it back."

Lindsay continued to stare at the card, the jack of diamonds

"Ready? Okay," Zarardo grinned as he opened his eyes back up.

Lindsay put her hands behind her back, blushing at the fact that she hadn't returned the card.

Zarardo began to shuffle his deck. After a bit of shuffling, he drew a card from the deck - the eight of clubs.

"Is this your card?" Zarardo asked.

"Um... yes?" Lindsay responded unsurely.

"You don't sound very sure of yourself," Zarardo pointed out.

"That's not her card!" Jasper shouted. "I saw her card. It was the jack of diamonds!"

Zarardo then noticed that Lindsay's hands were behind her back. "Hm... for my next trick, I'll need you to give me your hands for a moment."

"Um, no thanks. You did a good job. You get a seven!" Lindsay panicked as she backed off of the stage.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** I know she didn't put the card back. Urgh... I'll have to make a note to ask for it back. I swear, worst volunteer ever.

 **Warwick:** Shame on Lindsay for embarrassing my advisor slash fool like that! I'll see to it that she gains no entrance to my kingdom.

* * *

"And there you have it," Chris said as he walked back onstage. "Zarardo earns seven points, which is not enough to beat the Screaming Italics. Meaning... the Screaming Italics win!"

"Nice work, team," Ephraim smiled.

"Killer Boldface, looks like it's back to voting for you guys," Chris said. He then glanced at his clipboard. "However, as I said before, the camper on your team with the highest score will be Invincible for the night. And that person is... Osric!"

"Nice," Osric grinned.

"Those of you on Screaming Italics, you have the rest of the night off," Chris smiled. "Those of you on Killer Boldface, this could be your last day in the game. Have fun!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Osric:** I'd like to thank Mrs. Rodriguez for giving me the self-confidence to keep writing poems. Really saved my bacon tonight.

 **Kelsey:** Yes, we won! Even if I don't participate, we can still tear it up. I can still lead a good team after all.

 **Lindsay:** In my defense, the jack of diamonds is really handsome! _(She stares at the card.)_

* * *

Fauna, Phoenix, and Yolonda met up in the mess hall.

"So what's the plan tonight?" Yolonda asked.

"Well, it would have been Osric, but he's invincible because I'm pretty sure Chris rigs the game against me," Fauna said.

"If he did, you wouldn't have a hidden statue right now," Phoenix remarked.

"Regardless, we're voting for Warwick tonight," Fauna decided. "He's pretty much the next-best choice. I mean he literally has a POC as his assistant. How much more oppressive can you get?"

"You sure he's not just playing along?" Yolonda asked.

"Of course he is. No POC in their right mind would willingly listen to a white person," Fauna dismissed.

Phoenix rolled his eyes.

"Either way, I'm fine with voting for Warwick," Yolonda agreed. "He doesn't add very much to this team anyway."

"I agree," Phoenix nodded. "Other than maybe Naomi, I can't think of any better choice to eliminate."

"Even Naomi's faster than Warwick," Yolonda remarked.

"Great, so it's settled," Fauna smirked. "I'll talk to Genesis about it."

"Genesis?" Yolonda asked.

"Yeah, didn't I tell y'all?" Fauna asked. "She's in the alliance now."

"Then where is she?" Phoenix asked.

"Probably with that whitelord Osric. She's still acting like she's loyal to him so he doesn't target her," Fauna explained.

"Okay...?" Yolonda said, slightly confused.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** Is Genesis playing two alliances? It's entirely likely, but I highly doubt I can shift the vote against her. Still, it's something I'll consider for future eliminations.

 **Yolonda:** Phoenix and I decided to stick with Fauna for now to be safe, and it seems like Warwick's a safe vote anyway, so I guess things are working out. At least as much as "working out" can be considered in this game.

* * *

Genesis, Naomi, Osric, Ursula, and Zarardo met up in the forest.

"Alright, so, how are we voting tonight?" Ursula asked.

"I assume someone in Fauna's alliance," Genesis texted.

"I'm partial to Fauna herself," Osric suggested. "If only to flush her statue."

"Of course that idea appeals to you. You're invincible," Zarardo pointed out. "You have no chance of leaving if she does get the most votes and uses her statue."

"Well, neither would you," Osric pointed out. "Naomi's the only one here at any real risk."

"Oh no! Let's not vote for Fauna!" Naomi gasped.

"I feel like Isidora or Warwick would be at more risk than Naomi," Genesis texted.

"I'd still rather not be at risk at all, see," Naomi responded.

"May I offer the Phoenix possibility?" Zarardo offered.

"Why Phoenix?" Osric asked.

"He seems like the smartest of the three," Zarardo pointed out. "If we cut him, Fauna and Yolonda will be no threat whatsoever, and we'll have an easier time taking them out."

"I like this idea," Genesis texted.

"Eh, I mean, I'd prefer if Fauna left, but the man does make a lot of sense," Ursula shrugged.

"I'm all for it," Naomi smiled.

"I like it too," Osric nodded. "So it sounds like it's settled."

"Sounds like it," Zarardo nodded. "I'll talk to Warwick and Isidora about it."

"Killer," Ursula grinned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Osric:** Zarardo's definitely a smart guy. Could be someone to watch out for in the future, but for now, I'll just be grateful he's an ally rather than an enemy.

 **Ursula:** Actually, now that I think about it, seeing Fauna panic at her utter inability to do anything without Phoenix around sounds pretty great.

 **Naomi:** Does this mean I won't be leaving? Please?

* * *

Zarardo met up with Isidora and Warwick on top of the thousand-foot cliff.

"Ah, Zarardo! Where have you been?" Warwick asked. "I've been listening to this wench talk about psychology for the past fifteen minutes!"

"You're only proving my point of how ESTJ you are," Isidora remarked.

"I've been doing some scouting as to how the votes are looking," Zarardo grinned. "I think I may have a majority against Phoenix."

"Phoenix, eh?" Isidora asked.

"I believe he's what's keeping Fauna in power," Zarardo explained. "Without Phoenix, all Fauna will have is Yolonda, who's pretty useless if we're being honest."

"I don't know. Her almond-crusted tilapia is a must-have," Warwick admitted.

"Is it? I may have to try that," Zarardo thought aloud. "Regardless, we're voting for Phoenix tonight, not Yolonda, so things should work out for the best."

"Indeed!" Warwick bellowed. "Here's to ending the threat against my reign that is the black alliance!"

"Are you allowed to call them that?" Isidora asked.

"I'd stop calling them that, just in case," Zarardo suggested.

"Ah, fine," Warwick conceded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** I feel like this is the first real power play so far in this season. It's an honor to be the mastermind behind it.

 **Warwick:** Fauna's never been more than a joke to me, and her losing her most powerful ally will only solidify this fact.

 **Isidora:** I mean, Phoenix is actually half-decent, so I don't know how much I want to vote for him. Hmm...

* * *

Fauna and Genesis met up in the girls' cabin.

"So what's the whitelord's plan?" Fauna asked.

"Assuming you're referring to Osric, his plan is to vote for Phoenix," Genesis texted. "Of course, I'm not okay with that at all. What's your plan."

"Warwick," Fauna answered. "If only because Osric's invincible."

"I can get behind that," Genesis texted with a nod. "Warwick's pretty useless to the team overall."

"Plus, he's another white oppressor who needs to be knocked down a peg," Fauna agreed. "Can I just say how glad I am that you're on my side now? This is going to help me out a _ton_."

"Not a problem," Genesis texted with a sweet smile. "I'm happy to help."

"Campers!" Chris announced on the PA. "As a reminder to the Killer Boldface, votes are due in half an hour. If you haven't cast your vote yet, be sure to do that!"

"That's my cue," Genesis texted as she got up to leave.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fauna:** Time to avenge Xingrong's elimination. Okay, I never really talked to him, but he was a POC who was unfairly eliminated, and that deserves vengeance!

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Now... which alliance should I actually vote with?

* * *

The ten members of the Screaming Italics met up at the bonfire pit. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"Welcome back to elimination, Killer Boldface," Chris greeted. "Guess you guys just weren't talented enough."

"I choose to believe that Lindsay was simply a poor judge," Zarardo responded.

"Anyway, you should know how it goes by now," Chris said. "If you receive a marshmallow, you're safe. If you don't, you're out. That said..."

"Osric."

"Yolonda."

"Zarardo."

"Isidora."

"Ursula."

"Genesis."

"Fauna."

"Naomi."

Phoenix and Warwick both seemed surprised to be in the bottom two.

"This can only end so well..." Phoenix said as he nervously adjusted his glasses.

"Er, yeah. Meaning it'll end well for me," Warwick added.

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"It's a tie!" Chris announced.

"What?!" Zarardo gasped.

"Yep. Phoenix and Warwick both received the same number of votes," Chris confirmed.

"So we're doing a completely-up-to-chance tiebreaker?" Phoenix asked.

"Actually, no," Chris answered. "I watched all of House Party, and Chef's tiebreakers... kinda lame."

"How shall we settle this, then?" Warwick asked.

"Everyone other than Phoenix and Warwick will cast their votes again," Chris explained. "You may only vote for Phoenix or Warwick, so no hinky votes here."

"Isn't this kind of like that other show?" Genesis texted.

"No. Now go vote," Chris said flatly.

* * *

After the Boldface re-cast their votes, they met back at the bonfire.

"I have the updated votes," Chris said. "And the person who is going home is..."

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"Neither Phoenix nor Warwick," Chris beamed.

"What now?" Fauna asked.

"The vote was, once again, a tie," Chris stated. "So here's how it's gonna work." Chris took a small sack from his pocket. "In this sack are seven small rocks. Everyone other than Phoenix, Warwick, and Osric since he's invincible, will take one without looking. Once all seven rocks are chosen, you'll all reveal them at the same time. The people with the white rocks are safe. The person with the red rock is eliminated."

"Yep, this is definitely like-" Isidora started.

"Just take a rock," Chris said as he held the sack in front of Isidora, who rolled her eyes and took a rock.

One by one, the Boldface took a rock from the sack, until all seven vulnerable campers had one.

"Alright, now we'll reveal your rocks on the count of three," Chris smiled. "One... two... three!"

The seven campers revealed their rocks. All eyes went to the owner of the red rock, who was...

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"Sorry, Yolonda, you're out of the game," Chris announced.

"Aw, seriously?" Yolonda groaned.

"Yep," Chris nodded. "It's Dock of Shame time for you. Anyone who wants to see Yolonda off, come with us. Everyone else, you're dismissed."

* * *

Yolonda, Chris, Fauna, and Phoenix all came to the Dock of Shame.

"This is some BS," Fauna griped.

"Better her than me," Phoenix pointed out.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Yolonda asked, offended.

"I'd rather I still be in the game than you," Phoenix said frankly. "You can't tell me you wouldn't feel the same."

"Eh, I guess that's true," Yolonda conceded. "I'd much rather all three of us stay in the game though."

"This is just some oppressive riggage," Fauna insisted.

"Nah, it really could have been anyone," Yolonda disagreed. "Guess I was just unlucky."

"That reminds me," Phoenix said to Chris. "What if Fauna or Genesis had taken the red rock?"

"I take their Invincibility Statue and we do it again," Chris answered as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors. "Any last words, Yolonda?"

"Best of luck, you two," Yolonda smiled. "I'll be watching from... Neo Playa Des Losers, I assume."

"You'll see," Chris grinned. "Fauna and Phoenix, you two can head to bed."

Fauna and Phoenix left the Dock as Yolonda entered the Elevator.

"Yolonda, you have finished the game in 20th place," Chris said.

"It took random chance to take me out. I'll take that as a compliment," Yolonda smirked.

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater.

"In our most unpredictable elimination yet, our former staff member bites the dust!" Chris said to the camera.

"How _did_ you come up with that tiebreaker anyway?" Lindsay asked as she walked on scene.

"Not important," Chris dismissed. "What is important: Will Fauna adapt to losing her ally? Will Genesis keep her double-agency a secret? Will Warwick keep dodging elimination?"

"Will Kelsey recover from her fall?" Lindsay asked. "Is Mondo starting to take control? Is Jasper starting to lose control?

"I can hardly wait to find out myself," Chris beamed.

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Fauna:** Warwick, I'll never know how you survived past Day 1, but you won't be surviving much longer.

 **Zarardo:** I vote for Phoenix, natch. Now you see him, now you don't.

 **Phoenix:** I'm voting for Warwick. This should keep us from losing future challenges.

 **Warwick:** Phoenix, eh? Crazy, but it just might work! Let's do it!

 **Yolonda:** Warwick does eat a lot, so if he goes that means more ingredients for me. So, yeah, I vote for Warwick.

 **Osric:** Less competition for the smartest one our team is always nice, so I'm voting for Phoenix.

 **Ursula:** In the name of Fauna losing her sanity, I vote for Phoenix. Heheheh.

 **Isidora:** Eh, I mean, Phoenix is tolerable, but Zarardo makes a good point, so I vote for Phoenix. Plus, I'm kind of aligned with Warwick, so... Ugh, I'm going to regret this, aren't I?

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Between Warwick and Phoenix... I'm not aligned with Warwick, so Warwick it is.

 **Naomi:** Genesis told me it's our Super Secret Duo mission to vote for Warwick instead of Phoenix. How scandalous! Let's do it!

* * *

 _A/N: So here's the story with Yolonda: I'd been planning this cast even before I got started writing House Party, and Yolonda was one of the first characters I created. But when I started writing House Party, I realized I needed a chef character, so I figured "Hey, let's make it Yolonda, that'd be cool." Only problem is, I used up any potential plot for her in that season, so as I began writing Alpha Party, I saw less and less reason to keep her around, and what started as an early merge boot ended up having her elimination moved forward more and more until this very point. So that's my spiel. Sorry to the Yolonda fans. :/_


	8. Ep 07: All Kind of Azers

_A/N: I'm so lazy, holy crap. Anyway, here's an update for ye. I'll be going back-and-forth between this and Explore Party up until Explore Party is finished, at which point, it'll just be this fic._

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, we held a talent show, in which our contestants showed their talents. Mind blowing, I know," Chris recapped.

"And I got to judge the talenty acts, too!" Lindsay clapped.

"Thanks to Lindsay being inconsistently impressed, the scores were all over the board, even though most if not all the talents were fairly impressive," Chris added. "Mondo was able to lift a chair with half the campers sitting on it, Isidora played a lovely piano piece, Osric recited a love poem he wrote himself, and Tori smashed things."

"Are you sure this isn't a brain vs. brawn themed season?" Lindsay asked. "It's starting to seem like it."

"I'll never hear the end of this, will I?" Chris sighed. "In other news, the alliance lines began to blur on Killer Boldface as Warwick is considering shmoozing up to Genesis for a chance to claim her Invincibility Statue, Genesis formed a final two deal with Naomi, and Phoenix and Isidora began to bond."

"On the Screaming Idiotics, Hugh made an alliance with Mondo, Cordelia decided to expand her friends circle, and Kelsey sprained her ankle," Lindsay added.

"None of the latter mattered, however, as the Italics managed to win Invincibility," Chris explained. "The votes that night went to Phoenix and Warwick, but, due to there being a tie... twice... we used a new method of deciding things, which ended with Yolonda going home despite having never received a single vote against her."

"Wait, really? She never ever got a vote?" Lindsay asked. "How weird."

"Just goes to show you: you're never truly safe unless you have an Invincibility Statue," Chris smiled.

"What about Stormy~?" Lindsay asked.

"Shhhhhhh!" Chris shushed. "Anyway... With everyone on the Boldface in an alliance, which alliance will prove superior? With pretty much everyone on the Italics in a duo, which duo will prove superior? The answers to these questions and more, right here, on Total!"

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

Phoenix rubbed his temples as Fauna paced back and forth in the kitchen, ranting.

"It's like, I'm pretty sure they're _trying_ to screw me over," Fauna scowled. "You couldn't just let me have a decent alliance of four, could you? They _had_ to give her the red rock."

"I keep telling you, it was entirely up to chance," Phoenix sighed. "Isidora or Naomi or someone could have just as easily drawn it."

"That's what they _want_ you to think!" Fauna said accusatorily. "If you're not careful, you'll be next. So watch your back. Keep an eye out for anything oppressive or something that can lead to your elimination."

"Try not to get eliminated. Got it," Phoenix said flatly.

"This is serious!" Fauna snapped. "...Hold on, I've got it!"

"Do tell," Phoenix said, still slightly annoyed.

"Genesis has one of those hidden statues," Fauna stated. "She's a part of this alliance, and the other alliance still thinks she's with them, so she's no target. She doesn't need it. But maybe, just maybe, there's a chance we can convince her to give it to one of us."

"That actually sounds like a decent idea," Phoenix said honestly.

"I'll talk to her about it later," Fauna said as she left for the main room of the mess hall. "For now, I'm going to eat some breakfast."

"Yolonda's gone, remember? You'll have to fix it yourself," Phoenix pointed out.

"Now that's just blatant oppression!" Fauna shouted as she returned to the kitchen.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fauna:** Just like in real life, I'm the underdog in this situation. Well, I'm not about to take it lying down. I'm not going to let this biased game bring me down, at least not without a fight. I still have Phoenix, who's smart, and Genesis, who's loyal. I can do this! Bring it, whitelord oppressors!

 **Phoenix:** Yolonda was pretty much the only thing keeping me from ditching Fauna outright, and now that she's gone, I see little reason to stay loyal to Fauna. Actually, Genesis joining our alliance has given me an idea. Fauna claims Genesis is only pretending to stay loyal to her original alliance so as to not be a target. I don't know how true that is, but I'm thinking of doing the same with my alliance with Fauna. As for which other alliance I'll join for real... well, I have some ideas.

* * *

Phoenix found Osric reading a magazine in the boys' cabin.

"Osric," Phoenix greeted.

"I-I wasn't! I wasn't!" Osric panicked as he hid the magazine under his bed.

"I don't really care, honestly," Phoenix stated. "I do, however, have some information which may concern you."

"Does it regard Ursula?" Osric asked, interested.

"Genesis, actually," Phoenix said. "Should I be concerned about Ursula?"

"Not really," Osric dismissed. "Continue."

"Genesis is in an alliance with you, yes?" Phoenix asked.

"Well, I mean..." Osric dodged the question.

"Don't bother hiding it. I already know," Phoenix said. "You want to know how I know?"

"Are you dating Genesis? Nice work," Osric grinned.

"No," Phoenix said flatly. "You see, Genesis approached Fauna in secret wishing to join her alliance. Genesis claimed that she couldn't stand you oppressing her and wished to eliminate you at her earliest convenience."

"Really? That doesn't sound like Genesis," Osric said. "I mean, she doesn't really 'sound' like anything what with, you know, the muteness, but you know what I mean."

"Well, while I wasn't there, I heard it from Fauna. Fauna is many things, but she isn't a liar," Phoenix stated. "This plus the tie vote last night bolsters the conclusion that Genesis is, in fact, playing two alliances."

"Excuse me if I have trouble believing that," Osric said. "She's a sweet girl. She can be a bit sarcastic sometimes, but she's not a backstabber or manipulator or anything."

"I'm just telling you what I know," Phoenix said. "But I have an idea. I'd like to form a secret alliance of the smartest people on our team: you, Zarardo, Isidora, and myself. We can stick to our original alliances if we need to, but if the four of us watch each other's backs, I have no doubt we can all reach the endgame."

"I like this idea," Osric grinned. "Have you talked to Isidora or Zarardo yet?"

"Not yet, but I don't see them turning this idea down," Phoenix said. "But I take it you're on board?"

"Definitely," Osric nodded. "To the final four!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** The idea here is to take the biggest threats on this team and to get them all to work with me instead of against me. Am I throwing Fauna under the bus here? Absolutely, but it's not like she doesn't have an idol to help her out. Anyway, my ideal first target is Genesis. Not only is she untrustworthy, but she seems like she can convince people otherwise, and I'm not comfortable with sharing a team with someone like that.

 **Osric:** I think I just became the most connected person on my team. The only people I'm not aligned with in some way are Fauna and Warwick. Who'd have thought?

* * *

Cordelia found Ephraim walking through the campground and approached him.

"Hey, Ephry! How's it going?" Cordelia greeted.

"Oh, hey Cordelia," Ephraim greeted back. "It's going pretty well. Can't complain. How about yourself?"

"Oh, just hanging around," Cordelia said casually. "I notice you're not with Amelie right now."

"I think she's in the shower. I don't know. We're not joined at the hip or anything," Ephraim shrugged. "You're not with Jasper, either."

"Well yeah. I have tons of other friends. Like you," Cordelia smiled as she rocked back and forth on her heels.

"I suppose so," Ephraim said.

"You... you suppose?" Cordelia asked, her eyes vacuous.

"I mean, yeah, we're friends," Ephraim said awkwardly.

"Coolio!" Cordelia cheered. "What do you want to do today, friend?"

"Oh, uh, whatever's cool with you," Ephraim stammered.

"Let's go swimming!" Cordelia suggested.

"Works for me," Ephraim decided.

"Great! I'll go change into my suit. You should do the same," Cordelia said with a playful poke to Ephraim's arm.

"Alrighty," Ephraim said as the two split up.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Cordelia:** This is so cool! I hope Ephraim becomes my best friend. Only, Jasper's already my best friend. Oh well. Who says you can't have more than one best friend?

 **Ephraim:** You know, Cordelia brings up a good point. I guess I am kind of just the guy who spends time with Amelie. I don't really have much of a connection with the rest of my teammates, and my strength can only get me so far in this game. Maybe spending some time with Cordelia could be beneficial to my game as a whole.

* * *

Ursula found Naomi in the forest, skating in circles around a tree.

"You look like you're having fun," Ursula remarked.

"I'm deep in thought," Naomi told her.

"I see," Ursula said in disbelief. "About what?"

"Have you ever liked a guy but you don't really know him that well so you keep trying to get his attention but he doesn't really talk to you all that much and you want to get to know him better but he's on the other team and is usually busy with whatever's happening on his team?" Naomi asked.

"Can't say I'm too familiar with the feeling," Ursula remarked. "Why? Who do you like?"

"Vardaman," Naomi said with a blush. "I can't help it. He's sooooo cute and such a gentleman. He's always there whenever I have a scrape to bandage. Which is often. And not always accidental."

"Oh my gosh," Ursula chuckled. "You have it bad for him."

"I really do," Naomi gushed.

"So what's skating around a tree going to accomplish, exactly?" Ursula asked.

"I'm just wondering if I should try to make a move," Naomi admitted. "He's from the country, so he's probably really traditional and thinks only guys can make the first move. I don't want to scare him off."

"Well, nothing wrong with a little flirtation," Ursula suggested. "Just don't try and flirt like Osric. I love the guy, but he's about as subtle as Pennywise the clown."

"I don't know who that is, but I get what you're saying," Naomi nodded. "Thanks for the tip, Ursula!"

Naomi skated off, only to crash into a different tree.

"Was that one accidental or on purpose?" Ursula snickered.

"Accidental," Naomi moaned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** Would Vardaman even go for a girl like me? I do get hurt a lot, so maybe he just sees me as more of a patient or a nuisance than a potential girlfriend. Still, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, so maybe it's worth trying anyway.

 **Ursula:** Seems like everyone in my alliance has a crush. Except Genesis and Zarardo, I guess, but then maybe they have a secret thing going on and just haven't told anyone. Hm... this could be worth looking into. Heheheheheh.

* * *

Hugh found Mondo styling his hair in front of the bathroom mirror.

"Morning," Hugh greeted.

"It sure is," Mondo remarked.

"Look, for an alliance, we haven't talked a ton of game recently," Hugh pointed out.

"It's early, Hugh, and I haven't had any coffee yet," Mondo sighed.

"I just feel like we need a target in mind," Hugh said. "That way we can convince our teammates to vote with us ahead of time."

"I don't know. Kelsey?" Mondo suggested offhandedly.

"...That's perfect!" Hugh exclaimed. "She's bossy, overbearing, has an alliance, is bad in challenges, and I'm pretty sure she wants you gone."

"Glad to know I can be of help," Mondo droned.

"By the way, any progress with Quentin and Tori?" Hugh asked.

"Nope. Not yet," Mondo said, slightly annoyed at Hugh.

"Ah well. We'll get there," Hugh shrugged. "But hey, nice call with Kelsey. We were losing all the hot girls on this team, so it's about time for a change of pace."

"I wouldn't know about that, but okay," Mondo said dismissively.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mondo:** Hugh does make a good point. Kelsey does seem like an ideal target. The only problem is: everyone not aligned with her is enemies with Hugh, so it seems like I'll have to carry this idea on my own. Oh well. I came out here to prove myself, so prove myself, I shall.

 **Hugh:** Seriously though, first Bijou, then Stormy~... Amelie's the only remotely cute girl left on this team, and she can't stand me. The struggle is real, guys.

* * *

Isidora made it to the top of the thousand-foot cliff to find Zarardo standing there, alone.

"Warwick's not here yet?" Isidora asked.

"I assumed he was with you," Zarardo said. "How strange."

"I mean, I'm not complaining or anything, but we can't really talk game without him," Isidora pointed out. "He'll freak out on us, and I don't feel like dealing with that."

"You know, we don't really talk that much, despite being in the same alliance," Zarardo mentioned.

"I don't talk that much with anyone. Don't take it personally," Isidora shrugged as she sat down.

"Tired from walking up the cliff?" Zarardo asked.

"Yep," Isidora confirmed. "You know, now that I think about it, you don't really talk much to people either."

"Don't I?" Zarardo asked.

"I usually only see you talking to Warwick," Isidora pointed out.

"Well, as his advisor and fool, I should be around to assist him," Zarardo said.

"Yeah, see, that's another thing I don't get," Isidora said. "Why follow Warwick at all? What do you possibly have to gain from it?"

"Ah ah ah. A magician never reveals his secrets," Zarardo smirked.

"Of course not," Isidora said as she rolled her eyes. "Why do I always end up with the weirdos in this game?"

"The weirdos get cast in this game more often," Zarardo shrugged as he began playing with his Fushigi ball. "So you're likely to find something weird in just about everyone out here."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** When your team has people like Xingrong, Ronoc, Warwick, Fauna, Ursula, Osric, and Naomi on it, you really start to appreciate the Yolondas, Phoenixes and Genesises in life. Genesises? Genesisisises? Genesi? Geneses?

 **Zarardo:** Isidora's quite the Curious Cathy, isn't she? She may end up getting too curious for her own good. I'll keep an eye on her for now, and if she starts throwing me under the bus, well, let's just say I'll show her my world-famous disappearing act.

* * *

Kelsey sat on her bed with her foot propped up by a footstool and an ice pack on her ankle.

"This sucks," Kelsey grumbled. "I could be out there, enjoying the great outdoors, spending time with my allies, but no, here I am, wasting the morning away."

"You were too ambitious," Tori said as she entered the girls' cabin.

"I was just trying to get stronger," Kelsey scoffed. "I'd think you of all people would appreciate that."

"You tried too hard," Tori said bluntly. "Chin-ups are not easy to do."

"Well yeah, now I know that," Kelsey frowned. "How did you get to be so strong?"

"I work out every day," Tori stated. "I don't allow much time to relax. That would be wasted time that I could use to get stronger."

"So you're a fanatic, basically," Kelsey remarked.

"A fanatic who isn't injured," Tori smirked.

"Oh shut up," Kelsey frowned.

"My strongest feature is my strength. Yours is your brains," Tori stated. "I'm not making any attempt to lead an alliance, so why make an attempt to get stronger?"

"Well, I'm no good in physical challenges, so I figured that it would help out in the merge," Kelsey explained. "Especially since the final challenge, from what I remember, is always physical."

"I see," Tori said. "I suppose I can't argue with you there. Just don't do anything reckless if you wish to try exercise again."

"Hey, I'm the one in charge, here!" Kelsey insisted. Just then, her stomach began to rumble. "And, uh, as the one in charge, I'd like you to carry me to the mess hall."

"I'll pass. In fact, I should probably return to my workouts," Tori stated as she left the cabin.

"Geez," Kelsey muttered. "You know what? Screw doctor's orders. I'm hungry, and nobody tells me what to do!"

Kelsey stood up and began to limp to the mess hall.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kelsey:** I'm _so_ glad Tori's in my alliance. She's so _warm_ and _supportive_. Tch. She's a loyal vote on my side, otherwise I'd have half a mind to start targeting her.

 **Tori:** It seems to me like Kelsey wants to achieve perfection in more than one category. I have yet to achieve perfection in my most favored category, so Kelsey's ambitions are foolish.

* * *

Quentin wandered aimlessly through the campground.

"You know, for a summer camp, there isn't a lot to do when we're not having a challenge or elimination to worry about," Quentin mused. "I wonder if Wawanakwa was meant to be a legitimate summer camp before it was used for Total Drama, or if it was created specifically for Total Drama. Makes you think."

As Quentin walked past the boathouse, he heard a slamming noise coming from inside.

"Dare I see what's going on?" Quentin asked himself. "Might as well."

Quentin opened the door to see Vardaman hammering a nail into a wooden rod.

"Oh hey. You're not a psycho killer at all," Quentin pointed out.

"No, I ain't," Vardaman said with a light chuckle. "What're you up to?"

"I could ask the same," Quentin said as he eyed the hammer in Vardaman's hand.

"Oh. Well, I asked an intern if the show could give Kelsey some crutches, but they said that 'Total Drama ain't responsible for any injuries the contestants suffer'. So I'm fixin' up some crutches myself."

"Oh, cool," Quentin smiled. "Say, Vardaman, do you believe in luck?"

"Can't say I do. Why?" Vardaman asked.

"I dunno. I have a happy life, I'm well-liked by people, and bad things just don't tend to happen to me, so everyone thinks I have really good luck," Quentin explained. "But people I associate with in this game seem to have quite the opposite. Lester was the first to go. Xingrong left not long after. And now Kelsey's gotten herself injured. Do you think I might be some kind of luck sponge? I just absorb the luck from everyone else?"

"Now that's crazy talk," Vardaman said firmly. "Don't go blamin' yourself for what happens to your friends. I'm sure it's just a coincidence."

"You think?" Quentin asked. "I mean, you're a doctor-in-training, so you probably know what you're talking about more than I do. Thanks."

"Hey, it's my job to make people feel better," Vardaman said with a smile. "Don't be afraid to talk to me if you need it."

"I'll keep that in mind," Quentin replied.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Quentin:** I just don't know, though. Vardaman doesn't believe in luck, but I think I do. Could I be responsible for all the bad things happening to my friends? I'm trying not to beat myself up about it, but it's just something that's been on my mind recently and I felt like I needed to tell someone about it.

 **Vardaman:** Things really are lookin' up ever since Cordelia kicked me out of her group. I'm even startin' to get over her. So heck, I don't buy for a second that Quentin's drainin' everyone else's good luck, 'cause if he was, I wouldn't be in such a good place right now.

* * *

Warwick found Genesis fiddling with her phone at the fire pit.

"Well hey, if it isn't Genesis!" Warwick greeted. "I don't feel like we talk much."

Genesis glanced at Warwick and pointed to her phone.

"You know what I mean," Warwick huffed. "Anyway, I thought it'd be fun to get to know those in my kingdom a bit better, so let's converse. How's life treating you?"

Genesis exited the app she'd been using, booted up her text-to-speech app, and began texting.

"What do you really want, Warwick?" Genesis texted.

"Um, er, uh, what?" Warwick stammered. "I haven't the foggiest what you mean. I simply want to get to know the little people a bit better."

"I'm taller than you are," Genesis texted.

"Only barely," Warwick pouted.

"You haven't had a conversation with anyone outside of your alliance since the game started," Genesis texted.

"Not true. I argued with Xingrong a lot when he was still here," Warwick pointed out.

Genesis raised an eyebrow.

"Well fine. But who's to say I can't change?" Warwick asked. "Let's call you the first in my attempts to connect better with this team. Uh, kingdom. I meant kingdom!"

"Alright. Tell me about your home life," Genesis texted.

"Well, uh, you know, nice castle, helpful butlers, nothing special," Warwick said nervously. "What about you?"

"I hail from an alien planet in the Andromeda galaxy," Genesis texted.

"Oh ha ha. Fine. Don't believe me," Warwick frowned. "But don't say I never tried to get along with you."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Note to self: Genesis is impossible to crack. Ohhhh, this isn't fair! I'm the king, goddammit! She should just give me her statue! So why won't she?

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I don't know if Warwick has a crush on me or what, but I don't see him getting on my good side anytime soon. I've always found him annoying, and honestly I'm kind of annoyed that he didn't end up going home last night.

* * *

Amelie sat on the edge of the Dock of Shame, watching Cordelia and Ephraim swimming at the beach from afar. She sighed to herself.

"Boy troubles?" Jasper asked as he sat next to her.

"Um... well..." Amelie said quietly.

"Trust me, as Cordy's best friend, I don't like the thought of being replaced either," Jasper told her.

"At least you brought a swimsuit," Amelie pointed out. "I didn't, so I couldn't join them even if I wanted to."

"Well hey, maybe you could use this as an opportunity to expand your horizons," Jasper suggested. "We've never really talked before. Why don't you talk to me?"

"You wouldn't mind?" Amelie asked.

"Girl, of course not," Jasper assured her. "What do you like to talk about? What are your hobbies?"

"M-My hobbies?" Amelie asked. "Well... I've seen all the previous episodes of this show. And I like to... watch other TV, I guess. That's stupid, I know."

"No, no, it isn't," Jasper told her. "I like TV too. You ever watch RuPaul's Drag Race? I just can't get enough of it."

"No, I'm afraid I haven't," Amelie admitted. "I mostly stick to family-friendly stuff. You know, nice and safe. Kinda lame, I know."

"You beat yourself up too much, girl," Jasper said. "If you had half the self-confidence I do, you'd be drowning in men."

"That sounds gruesome," Amelie frowned.

"My point is, you're not nearly as unlikable as you make yourself out to be," Jasper told her. "You're a little cutie. You've got it, so flaunt it."

"Thanks, Jasper," Amelie said with a slight blush.

"Anytime you need me, girl," Jasper assured her.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** Cordelia's looking like more and more of a bust as far as someone I can use, but Amelie's nice and vulnerable, and I think the only people who don't like her are Hugh and Tori, and they like never smile anyway. Just tell Amelie what she wants to hear and she becomes putty in my hands. This could work. This could really work.

 **Amelie:** I haven't felt this good about myself since... well, ever. Jasper's really nice.

* * *

The nineteen campers all met up in front of the forest. Chris and Lindsay were there next to something that was concealed by a white sheet.

"Are the turrets making a grand return?" Naomi asked. "My old nemesis strikes again..."

"No, Naomi, but if you'd let me speak, I might explain what's under the sheet," Chris said, unimpressed.

"Roger dodger," Naomi replied.

"Now then. Lindsay, if you would," Chris said calmly.

"Alrighty!" Lindsay complied as she removed the sheet, which revealed eighteen guns and vests with flashing red or green lights.

"Is that laser tag?" Osric asked. "Awesome."

"It is indeed laser tag, Osric," Chris grinned. "Today's challenge will be a simple game of laser tag in the forest. Your goal is to take out every member of the opposing team. If your vest is hit with a laser from the other team, your vest will freeze up, preventing any mobility on your part until the end of the challenge."

"That's horrible!" Lindsay exclaimed.

"Well, it's too late to fix it now," Chris said with a smug grin.

Lindsay set off Chris's shock collar.

"Alright, fine, but that's all you're getting, missy," Chris scolded.

Lindsay sadly hung her head.

"Anyway, the team whose participating members all get taken out first loses the challenge and will have to vote someone out tonight," Chris explained. "Any questions?"

"Yeah. What's 'participating members' supposed to mean?" Kelsey asked.

"Well, since the Italics have one more member than the Boldface, one of you will have to sit out. And it can't be Amelie because she was the last one on your team to sit someone out."

"I think Kelsey should do it," Vardaman suggested. "Due to her ankle and all."

"I can handle myself just fine, thank you," Kelsey insisted.

"I'll sit out," Quentin offered as he raised his hand.

"Alright, Quentin's sitting out," Chris decided. "Everyone else, suit up so we can get this started."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Tori:** I wonder why Quentin opted to sit out. Eh, it's likely none of my business. He'll tell me if he feels the need.

 **Ursula:** A chance to creep up on people in the forest for Invincibility? Killer.

 **Ephraim:** A dark area with blinking, colorful lights and me trying to stop others from advancing is an all-too-familiar setting for me. I'm feeling good about this one.

 **Zarardo:** Time to unleash some magic on the other team.

* * *

The Screaming Italics, sans Quentin, huddled together.

"Okay, here's the deal," Kelsey said. "I think we should pair up. Use the buddy system. It never fails."

"Wouldn't that just double the targets if a Boldface does happen to find us?" Hugh pointed out.

"It'll also make it easier for us to hit someone, since there'll be two of us shooting at the same target," Kelsey pointed out

"But what if the Boldface also do the buddy system?" Tori asked.

"Well, we're the stronger team, so I think things should work out anyway," Kelsey said. "I believe in us. We've only lost two challenges so far, one of which was luck-based. We've got this challenge in the bag!"

"I agree," Ephraim smiled.

"Now then. Partner up, people," Kelsey commanded.

"You're goin' with me," Vardaman told Kelsey.

"Fine, but I don't need your help. My ankle's fine," Kelsey insisted.

"Hey, Ephry. Wanna work together?" Cordelia asked.

"Uh..." Ephraim glanced at Amelie, who was talking to Jasper. "Sure. Why not?"

"I can't think of a single reason why not," Cordelia smiled.

"So, um..." Amelie said to Jasper.

"You want to work with me," Jasper said in a playfully teasing tone.

"Yeah..." Amelie said with a slight smile. "I think Ephraim and Cordelia are already working together, so..."

"I'll be honored to," Jasper grinned.

"Ready to kick butt?" Hugh asked Mondo.

"Ready as I'll ever be," Mondo said.

Tori then realized that there was an odd number of players.

"This is fine. I work better alone anyway," Tori stated.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kelsey:** With a good morale boost and a good strategy, we're going to be unstoppable.

 **Mondo:** I probably should have realized that I don't care for Hugh, like, at all, before I aligned with him, but he doesn't _seem_ like he'll stab me in the back, so I guess there isn't too much harm in working with him.

 **Amelie:** I don't know. Jasper just... he seems really nice and approachable. I know Ephraim tries to help me feel better, but Jasper... Jasper succeeds.

* * *

The Killer Boldface, meanwhile, made a huddle of their own.

"So, should we split up individually, or...?" Ursula asked.

"I'm definitely in favor of that," Isidora chimed in.

"Nay! I declare that strength in numbers is the best way to go," Warwick exclaimed.

"How so?" Genesis texted.

"If we split up into groups of three, we'll more than likely overpower anyone we come across," Warwick explained.

"It'll also make it easier to take out larger chunks of our team at once," Fauna frowned.

"I actually think Warwick makes a decent point. For once," Phoenix agreed.

"Ha! See?" Warwick boasted.

"Do tell," Zarardo said to Phoenix.

"If we're in three groups of three rather than individually, not only will it be easier for us to find them than for them to find us, assuming they're spreading out more than we are, but it'll be easier for us to hit them on account of us outnumbering them," Phoenix explained.

"Makes perfect sense to me," Naomi smiled.

"Now, how should we split things up?" Osric asked.

"How about..." Genesis texted. "Phoenix and Fauna go with me, Naomi and Ursula go with you, and Warwick, Zarardo, and Isidora all go together."

Osric raised an eyebrow at Genesis.

"I think this is a wonderful plan," Zarardo smiled.

"People of color do make the best plans," Fauna agreed. "Let's do this!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Osric:** Phoenix did say that Genesis was trying to play his alliance as well as mine... how very interesting, then, that she'd volunteer to travel with his alliance. Hm. Perhaps Phoenix wasn't too far-off after all.

 **Naomi:** I can only assume that Genesis wanted split up from me so she can do some recon work for the Super Secret Duo. Veeeeeery crafty.

 **Warwick:** ...Hey wait a second! What did Phoenix mean by "for once"?! That's no way to speak of a king!

* * *

The teams traveled to where they had built their towers in a previous challenge and split up from there. Hugh and Mondo traveled together.

"So, hey, you used to work with Kelsey, right?" Hugh asked.

"I used to work _for_ her, until I realized that she was calling all the shots," Mondo explained. "Needless to say, that's now how I want to play this game."

"You're more devious than you let on," Hugh sneered. "Ditching your ally only to stab her in the back."

"Slow down. Voting for Kelsey next is only an idea," Mondo reminded him. "We need to focus on winning a challenge before we focus on who to eliminate next. If worse comes to worst, we can figure things out from there."

"You know, maybe one of us should have gone with Tori instead," Hugh thought aloud. "We might be able to work her over to our side."

"That is the plan, but like I said, we should focus on winning the challenge right now, not talking strategy."

"Tch. Fine," Hugh scoffed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mondo:** I get the feeling Hugh doesn't trust me very much. He is right about one thing, though: I should try to work Quentin and Tori over to my side sooner than later, because right now my closest ally is someone where I have no idea where his head is at.

* * *

Cordelia and Ephraim made their way through a different part of the forest.

"So hey, why do you only spend time with Amelie?" Cordelia asked.

"She looks up to me," Ephraim explained. "She asked me to help her early on in the game, we became friends, and I'm helping her come out of her shell."

"Well I just find her rude," Cordelia pouted. "I tried talking to her once, and she just ignored me and left! Who does that?!"

"Like I said, she's still coming out of her shell," Ephraim reminded Cordelia. "She's not as socially inclined as you are."

"That's no excuse for rudeness," Cordelia frowned. "I don't know you very well, and yet here I am, talking to you."

"Amelie just has trouble opening up to people," Ephraim said patiently.

"Why?" Cordelia asked.

"I think that's personal information," Ephraim said.

"Nothing you can't tell a trustworthy friend," Cordelia smiled.

"Cordelia, no offense, but we're not that close, and-"

Cordelia stared vacuously at Ephraim.

"Amelie has low self-esteem and is afraid of being judged by people, so she shuts herself out," Ephraim explained.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Cordelia:** I don't know what it is, but people have a tendency to know when I'm upset and do whatever they can to make me feel better. I guess I'm just a likable girl who no one wants to see upset.

* * *

Fauna, Genesis, and Phoenix made their way through the forest.

"So, do we have a plan for if we lose?" Phoenix asked.

"Can we not talk about strategy for two seconds?" Fauna asked. "Literally all you care about is the game."

Genesis nodded.

"Besides, Genesis didn't bring her phone, and I'm not going let a woman of color be silenced like that," Fauna frowned.

"Why not bring your phone?" Phoenix asked.

"It's a two-handed gun you ignorant little-" Fauna started.

"Fair enough, fair enough," Phoenix interrupted. "But what will we talk about if not about strategy?"

"We're not going to talk about anything," Fauna said. "I won't stand for Genesis being silenced like that, and besides, the point of the challenge is to _not_ be caught."

Phoenix glanced at Genesis, who only shrugged in response.

"Fine. We'll continue in silence," Phoenix agreed.

"Literally how hard is that to understand?" Fauna scoffed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types on her phone. The phone speaks.)_ You'd think someone as smart as Phoenix would realize that talking exclusively about who to eliminate next won't do him any good, but clearly I've been giving him too much credit.

* * *

Kelsey and Vardaman made their way through the forest.

"Are you sure you're foot's alright?" Vardaman asked.

"It's fine," Kelsey insisted.

"I should give you a check-up," Vardaman said. "Just in case-"

"I told you, my foot is fine!" Kelsey snapped.

"Ain't no shame in gettin' injured once in a while," Vardaman assured her. "Happens to us all."

"You don't understand, Vardaman! How can I lead my team if I let this get to me?" Kelsey responded.

"If you don't let it heal properly, it'll only make things worse," Vardaman explained. "I still think you should have sat out of this challenge."

"I can't do that, Vardaman," Kelsey said as she shook her head. "I need to be in charge."

" _Why_ do you need to be in charge, Kelsey?" Vardaman asked. "Is it worth endangerin' your health?"

"Definitely," Kelsey said simply.

Before Vardaman could respond, he tripped and fell to the ground. His laser tag vest began blinking red.

"Booyah!" Ursula cheered.

"Sorry, Vardaman," Naomi apologized.

"Nothing personal, but we have a challenge to win," Osric added.

"I can't let you do that," Kelsey frowned. "I am not a failure."

She took a shot at Naomi while all three of the Boldface took a shot at Kelsey. Kelsey's vest began to blink red and Naomi's began to blink green as the two girls fell to the ground.

"G-Go on without me," Naomi choked overdramatically. "I'll... I'll be..." she coughed. "...okay..."

"Okay," Ursula shrugged as she ran off.

"Oh, uh, I mean if you say you'll be fine..." Osric said to Naomi before following Ursula.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** This was a blessing in disguise, really. Vardaman and I were stuck there until the challenge ended. Yeah, Kelsey was there too, but nobody cares about that. I got to spend time with Vardaman!

 **Vardaman:** This was a blessin' in disguise, really. Kelsey _needs_ to rest, I don't care what she says. Yeah, I lost the challenge too, but that ain't relevant. I think the rest of our team can do this.

* * *

Amelie and Jasper wandered through a different part of the forest.

"So, how long have you been a fan of Total Drama?" Jasper asked.

"From the beginning," Amelie answered. "I always thought it was an interesting concept, so I've seen all the seasons. Even the less-beloved ones."

"Speaking of past seasons, why do you think Yolonda got voted off last night?" Jasper asked. "She didn't seem like a big threat."

"Well, um, neither did Stormy~, really," Amelie replied.

"Ah, good point," Jasper nodded. "You know, for someone so shy, you're real talkative today."

"Oh, well, um, I don't know," Amelie stammered. "Usually I'm not very trusting of people. I don't know what it is about you, but I feel like you won't judge me. It's weird."

"Well, I tell it like it is, sugar," Jasper said flamboyantly. "I call it my 'Flamer's Honor'. I throw shade like nobody's business."

"So if you had a problem with me, I'd know?" Amelie asked.

"You and everyone else in this world," Jasper confirmed.

"That's... surprisingly refreshing," Amelie said. "I think part of the reason I'm so paranoid is because I can never tell if people are lying."

"Honestly, dishonesty is gross," Jasper agreed. "Nobody needs that in their life."

"...I'm glad we started hanging out," Amelie said with a slight smile.

"I am too, sweetie. Flamer's Honor," Jasper smiled back.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** Tell people what they want to hear, and even the most distrusting person in this game will consider you their best friend. Honestly, though, I'm starting to regret the gay facade. It helps me get away with saying whatever rude things I want - just throwing shade, you know - but it also means I can't get with any of the girls here, and Amelie's quite the malleable cutie.

* * *

Isidora, Warwick, and Zarardo took a break from walking as they all leaned against a different tree.

"So, uh, sorry for slowing us down or whatever," Isidora said half-heartedly.

"It's no issue at all," Zarardo responded.

"What are you talking about?" Warwick asked. "It's making us sitting ducks."

"Yeah, that's why I'm apologizing," Isidora added.

"Well, nobody's found us yet, so that's a plus," Zarardo grinned.

"Oh, by the way, I spoke to Genesis earlier today," Warwick said. "You know, to try and convince her to fork over her idol."

"Really now? How did that go?" Zarardo asked.

"Not well," Warwick admitted. "I think she caught on to what I was trying to do. She's a smart one, that Genesis."

"Or maybe you're just super unsubtle," Isidora pointed out.

Warwick's vest began flashing green and he fell to the ground.

"That is true," Tori smirked, prompting Isidora and Zarardo to look her way. "He isn't the most subtle person I've ever met."

Zarardo drew his gun and prepared to shoot, but Tori shot him before he got the chance.

"So, uh..." Isidora said awkwardly.

"It's been a while," Tori smiled. "How has it been?"

"Been better, been worse," Isidora shrugged. "You?"

"All things considered I'm in a fairly good position on my team," Tori stated.

Isidora shot Tori.

"In that case, I guess you won't mind too much if I did this," Isidora chuckled.

"Well played," Tori said respectfully.

"Welp, better trod on off. Don't want you three giving me away."

"Wait!" Warwick called.

"What is it?" Isidora sighed.

"...I have an itch on my nose. I order you to scratch it," Warwick declared.

"And with that, I'll be seeing you later," Isidora said as she left the scene.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** How rude! I'd kick her out of my council if it weren't so annoyingly small as it is.

 **Tori:** Perhaps Isidora and I should hang out more. Just because we're on different teams doesn't mean we can't take a break from the game.

* * *

Hugh and Mondo continued their search for Killer Boldface members.

" _When you see my face, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell_!" Hugh sang. " _When you walk my way-_ "

"Could you please stop singing?" Mondo sighed.

"What? I thought gay people loved singing," Hugh huffed.

"That's a stereotype," Mondo said. "Besides, as much as I enjoy rock music, I prefer it when it's sung by people who know what they're doing."

"Oh, so when Lea Michele sings it-"

"First of all, I can't stand Glee," Mondo interrupted. "Second, how did _you_ know Lea Michele covered that song?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh..." Hugh said dopily before his vest began blinking red and he fell to the ground.

Mondo turned his head to see Fauna, Genesis, and Phoenix standing there.

"You're next, whitey," Fauna scowled.

Mondo, his gun already ready, fired at Fauna and Genesis. Phoenix managed to shoot him before Mondo could get a shot at him.

"Go on, Phoenix! Win this for the POC!" Fauna urged.

"Win the challenge? What a foreign and amazing concept," Phoenix remarked.

Hugh snickered, only to stop as everyone glared at him.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fauna:** After the crucial loss we had last night, we need to win this challenge. I know Phoenix is always brains before brawn, but as a tenacious black man, I think he can pull it off.

 **Hugh:** My, uh, my sister used to watch Glee. That's the only reason I know that Lea Michele even exists.

* * *

Osric and Ursula searched the forest.

"We find ourselves together in the forest quite a bit, don't we?" Osric pointed out.

"Huh. I guess we do," Ursula realized. "What can I say? I like the forest. Though I will be finding new places to scare people."

"How's that going, by the way?" Osric asked.

"...I dunno. I went here to think about it, found Naomi, talked to her, and didn't do much else," Ursula explained.

"Hey, speaking of Naomi, how would you feel about a final three deal with us and her?" Osric suggested. "I don't trust Genesis a whole lot, so I'm thinking that while we should keep her in the alliance for the sake of numbers, we should also be prepared to let Genesis go."

"Whatever you say, dude," Ursula shrugged. "You're the brains of the operation."

"Cool," Osric smiled. He then held his arm out in front of Ursula, prompting her to stop walking, and pointed to Cordelia and Ephraim, who were nearby and unaware of the presence of the two Boldface.

"Heheheh. Nice," Ursula snickered.

The two took aim at their targets and began to shoot, but to no avail.

"I think we're too far," Osric deduced.

"Psst. Ephry," Cordelia whispered.

"Yes?" Ephraim asked.

"Don't look now, but I see the pervy guy and the Halloween girl off to the side," Cordelia continued. "I don't think they know that we know that they're here."

"So what should we-?"

Ephraim was interrupted by Cordelia shooting at Osric as the two Boldface ran up to the two Italics. As they ran up, however, the Boldface managed to shoot both the Italics successfully.

"And then there was one," Ursula snickered. "Well, I assume there are more since the challenge isn't over, but you know what I mean."

Ursula ran off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** Gotta admit, it's nice that one of the smarter guys on my team has a crush on me because it means I can just kick back while he carries me as far as he can.

 **Ephraim:** I have no idea how well we're doing right now, and it worries me that I can't have a hand in the outcome of the challenge anymore. Fingers crossed.

* * *

Amelie and Jasper continued to make their way through the forest.

"I'm surprised we haven't found anyone yet," Amelie thought aloud.

"They're obviously too intimidated by us," Jasper joked.

Amelie giggled. "Obviously," she said.

Just then, Jasper's vest began to blink red as he fell to the ground.

"Eep!" Amelie jumped in fear and ran off.

"Come on, don't make me chase you," Isidora sighed as she trudged up from behind.

Isidora's vest began to blink green.

"Thanks," Isidora said flatly.

Amelie nodded as she ran off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Just me... on my own... I can do this... I can do this... _(She begins squealing loudly.)_ I can't do this!

* * *

Phoenix took notice of Amelie and began to chase after her.

"You can't run forever," Phoenix grinned to himself.

"Eep!" Amelie cried as she began to run faster.

Phoenix began to pick up the chase as he began to catch up to Amelie. He drew his gun, only for Amelie to make a sharp turn, causing Phoenix to crash into a tree he didn't see coming.

Amelie ran back up to Phoenix and shot him, causing his vest to blink green. Just then, Amelie's vest began to blink red and she fell on top of Phoenix.

"Guess the forest is still the best place to sneak up on people," Ursula grinned.

"Attention, campers!" Chris announced on the PA. "Ursula is the last camper standing, heheheh, _literally_! As such, the Killer Boldface win Invincibility!"

"Wicked!" Ursula cheered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** Let it never be said that I don't pull my weight. Heheheheh.

 **Phoenix:** _(He is rubbing his nose.)_ Well that hurt, but we won anyway, so I can't get too annoyed. Still, it's kind of embarrassing that I lost to Amelie of all people.

 **Hugh:** Tch. I bet Mondo wishes he'd talked game now that we _did_ lose.

 **Cordelia:** Oh well. We can always vote for someone unfriendly. Our team has a lot of people like that for some reason.

* * *

Kelsey, Quentin, Tori, and Vardaman met up in the mess hall.

"So, what's the plan, Stan?" Quentin asked.

"I'd like to flush Mondo's hidden statue, but what do you guys think?" Kelsey asked.

"I'm partial to voting for Amelie," Tori stated. "She contributes nothing to this team."

"You could argue that Jasper don't really argue anything either," Vardaman mentioned.

"Eh, between the two, Amelie is worse in challenges," Kelsey said. "What do you think, Quentin?"

"I'm good with whatever," Quentin shrugged.

"All three of us have a different target in mind," Kelsey said. "We need you to break the tie."

"Riiiiiiight... what are my options again?" Quentin asked.

"Amelie, Jasper, or Mondo," Tori repeated.

"I don't know Amelie all that well, so, by extension, I don't trust her all that well either," Quentin said.

"Looks like we're votin' Amelie then," Vardaman said.

"Looks like it," Kelsey confirmed. "Let's spread out and try to sway the votes in our favor. Amelie and Ephraim obviously won't vote for her, and I'm unsure about Jasper, too, but everyone else is fair game. We only need two more votes, so this shouldn't be hard."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Quentin:** I'm glad Kelsey is a fair and democratic leader. You don't see enough power-hungry overplayers who listen to their allies these days, you know?

 **Tori:** It's survival of the fittest, and Amelie is the least fit person on this team. Nothing personal.

* * *

Hugh and Mondo met up in the boys' cabin.

"Alright. So," Hugh started. "We're going to need six votes minimum to take out Kelsey, right?"

"That's the idea," Mondo nodded. "Which basically means we'll need the vote of everyone not aligned with her."

"I could try to work over-"

"I'm going to stop you right there," Mondo interrupted. "We're going to need Amelie, Cordelia, Ephraim, and Jasper to vote alongside us. Three out of those four can't stand you, and the one remaining is someone you can't stand. You'd best leave this to me."

"I mean, if that's what you want," Hugh shrugged. "You're the boss."

"Good. Stay here," Mondo said firmly as he left the cabin.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** More time off for me and more chances for Mondo to look like a threat. Win-win situation right here.

* * *

Amelie and Ephraim met up at the beach.

"Hey. Sorry I wasn't able to spend any time with you today," Ephraim apologized. "Cordelia had me all tied up."

"It's fine," Amelie smiled. "I spent some time with Jasper today. He's really nice."

"Well hey, good for you," Ephraim smiled. "You're making friends without me. You're coming out of your shell more than you might think."

"Thanks," Amelie said with a slight blush.

"Hey, guys," Mondo greeted as he approached the two.

"Mondo. How's it going?" Ephraim asked.

"Pretty well," Mondo answered. "How would you two feel about voting for Kelsey tonight?"

"Well, we haven't really talked about the vote, but if that's how things are leaning, I think that'd be okay with us," Ephraim answered.

"I wouldn't mind voting for Kelsey," Amelie admitted.

"Awesome," Mondo smiled. "I have to run, but we should chat more later. I feel like we don't talk enough."

"Duly noted," Ephraim smiled back as Mondo jogged off.

"Howdy," Vardaman said as he approached the two.

"No time to breathe, huh?" Ephraim joked. "How's it going, Vardaman?"

"Can't complain, can't complain," Vardaman said. "Not to pry, what was Mondo talkin' about the vote?"

"Well, yes..." Amelie admitted.

"Really? Who's he targettin'?" Vardaman asked.

"Should we tell him?" Amelie asked Ephraim.

"No point in giving him reason to mistrust us," Ephraim answered. "I'll be honest: it's Kelsey."

"I see..." Vardaman said. "Well I appreciate your honesty."

"I don't care for lying," Ephraim stated.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ephraim:** At the very least, if Kelsey does leave, perhaps Vardaman will join up with Amelie and me.

* * *

Cordelia and Jasper met up behind the washrooms.

"So! How was your day?" Cordelia asked excitedly. "I had a great day. I made a new friend in Ephraim."

"Well what do you know? I made a new friend myself," Jasper smirked. "Amelie and I hung out a lot today."

"Why? She's mean," Cordelia asked, confused.

"She's alright once you get to know her," Jasper said.

"Hey, you two, can we talk?" Quentin asked as he and Tori approached the two.

"Of course!" Cordelia smiled.

"We wish to know if you've decided on someone to vote out," Tori said.

"Haven't really talked about it yet, no," Cordelia answered.

"How would you two feel about voting for Amelie?" Quentin suggested.

"Okay!" Cordelia agreed.

"Wait, what?" Jasper asked.

"Cool. See you guys later," Quentin smiled as he and Tori left.

"What was that? Didn't you just hear that I'm friends with Amelie now?" Jasper asked.

Cordelia's eyes went vacuous as Mondo jogged up to the two.

"Hey, can we talk?" Mondo asked.

"Of course!" Cordelia smiled, her eyes back to normal.

"I'm looking to eliminate Kelsey to break up her power alliance and I want to know if you guys are onboard," Mondo explained.

"Works for me," Jasper smiled.

"Hey!" Cordelia objected.

"Good to know," Mondo smirked as he jogged off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Cordelia:** How could Jasper do something like that?! That's not very friendly at all.

 **Jasper:** Sorry, Cordy, but the world doesn't revolve around you. Eliminating Kelsey is a better option, and she needs to realize it. I'll do all I can to convince her.

* * *

The ten members of the Screaming Italics met up at the bonfire pit. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"Welcome back to elimination, Screaming Italics," Chris grinned. "You've all cast your votes and made your decisions. If I call your name, you will receive a marshmallow, and you will be safe from elimination. If your name isn't called, that means that you got the most votes tonight and are eliminated. Savvy? Anyway, marshmallows go to..."

"Ephraim."

"Cordelia."

"Mondo."

"Tori."

"Quentin."

"Hugh."

"Vardaman."

"Jasper."

Amelie and Kelsey sat in the bottom two.

"One of you ladies is still in the game... the other, not so much," Chris grinned.

Both girls looked incredibly nervous.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

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...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

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...

...

...

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...

"...Amelie."

Amelie fainted as Chris tossed her marshmallow to her, which landed on her abdomen.

Kelsey, meanwhile, looked confused, disappointed, shocked, and upset.

"Wha-What?!" Kelsey asked.

"Majority rules, Kelsey," Chris said. "Anyone who wants to see her off, follow us to the Dock of Shame. The rest of you are dismissed."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** The one time I don't worry about getting votes is the one time I get votes. I should learn not to be so relaxed. I'm paranoid for a reason, and that reason is you can never fully trust anyone.

* * *

Kelsey, Chris, Quentin, and Tori all came to the Dock of Shame.

"Where's Vardaman?" Kelsey asked. "Didn't he come?"

"Guess not," Chris shrugged.

"I... I can't believe this," Kelsey sighed. "I am not a failure! How could this happen?!"

"Hey, hey, it's alright," Quentin said supportively as he put his hand on Kelsey's shoulder. "I'm willing to bet that you were targeted for being the biggest threat on this team."

"Doubtful," Tori muttered.

"Whether that's the case or not, I've still been eliminated," Kelsey frowned. "This is not like me at all. I'm so embarrassed."

"It's not your fault," Quentin smiled. "Trust me..."

Kelsey gave Quentin a look, but said nothing.

"Seems to me like the goodbyes have been said," Chris said as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors. "Any last words, Kelsey?"

"I want you two to win this for my sake, alright?" Kelsey told her former alliancemates. "Prove to the world that Kelsey Carter is no failure."

"I will be winning, believe me," Tori stated.

"I'll hold you to that," Chris grinned. "Quentin, Tori, you can head to bed."

Quentin and Tori left the Dock of Shame as Kelsey entered the Elevator.

"Kelsey, you have finished the game in 19th place," Chris said.

"In all honesty, that's the most heartbreaking thing I've ever heard," Kelsey said with a resigned smile.

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater.

"Kelsey played her best, but in the end, her best still wasn't good enough," Chris said to the camera.

"And the Screaming Ice Cream continues their trend of only voting for girls," Lindsay added as she arrived on scene. "What's with that, anyway?"

"Probably just a coincidence," Chris shrugged. "Anyway, will Jasper keep manipulating Amelie? Will Cordelia and Ephraim become best friends? Is Quentin really stealing all his friends' luck?"

"Will Phoenix's secret alliance work out? Will Warwick get an idol? Will Ursula find a new place to scare people?" Lindasy asked.

"I can hardly wait to find out myself," Chris beamed.

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Tori:** A team is only as strong as its weakest link, and I intend to eliminate the weak links. Thus, I vote for Amelie.

 **Mondo:** Kelsey is the biggest threat to my game right now, so it's imperative that I lose her quickly.

 **Kelsey:** Though she lacks a hidden statue, I still see merit in losing Amelie, so Amelie it is.

 **Amelie:** Kelsey seems kind of overbearing, and it seems like she's a target, so I guess I vote for Kelsey.

 **Quentin:** Sorry, Amelie, but I have to stick with the alliance. For what it's worth, you seem like a nice person.

 **Ephraim:** Well, Vardaman's probably told Kelsey by now, so there's no point in changing anything. I vote for Kelsey.

 **Hugh:** Sorry, Kelsey, but this is what happens when you make yourself a target. Pro tip: don't do that.

 **Cordelia:** I vote for Amelie. I have no beef with Kelsey, but Amelie outright refused to be my friend, and that's just wrong.

 **Jasper:** Between the two, Kelsey's the bigger threat, so it's best for my game if I vote for her.

 **Vardaman:** _(He sighs.)_ I don't know if I'll be able to face her after this. I know she wants to win real bad. But I can't, as a future doctor, allow Kelsey to play in this game any longer in her condition. So... _(He sighs again.)_ I vote for Kelsey.

* * *

 _A/N: So yeah, that was Kelsey. She was never intended to go super-far and was always planned to go at around this time. I wanted to play with the idea of the archetype of the choleric, self-proclaimed leader, whose strategy for leadership is "boss everyone around and expect them to do exactly as they say". Kelsey was bossy, sure, but she was also willing to listen to the input of others. She wasn't meant to be entirely negative, and she wasn't, but she did still have her arrogant moments which allowed her to stick to the aforementioned archetype. But yeah, there goes Kelsey. Hope nobody's too disappointed._


	9. Ep 08: A Date With Destiny

_A/N: BB USA 17 has an awful boot order. That's not relevant to the story, I'm just saying. Hopefully, you do enjoy this story and hopefully its boot order isn't half as awful._

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, our campers played laser tag in the forest for Invincibility," Chris recapped. "The teams both split up into groups to try and bolster their defenses while still covering ground, and it seemed to work out alright for them."

"On the Killer Bolo Ties, Warwick tried to convince Genesis to give him her hidden statue, but she wouldn't go for it," Lindsay added. "Phoenix also made an alliance with Osric and wants to add Isidora and Zarardo too. Also, Naomi has a crush on Vardaman, which is too cute!"

"Whatever you say," Chris shrugged. "On Screaming Italics, Cordelia started forcing Ephraim to hang out with her, while Jasper took the opportunity to spend time with Amelie in order to manipulate her onto his side. Meanwhile, Kelsey continued to ignore Vardaman's orders to rest her sprained foot, and Quentin began to wonder if his good luck is giving his friends bad luck."

"Is that how it works?" Lindsay asked.

"I dunno. I'm no luck expert," Chris responded. "Screaming Italics lost that day, and it was between Kelsey, Mondo's recently-crippled enemy, and Amelie, whose social and physical games leave a lot to be desired. In the end, Vardaman put Kelsey's health before his alliance with her and voted the student body president out."

"Eight down, and eighteen to go!" Lindsay announced. "Was my math right? And who's gonna go next?"

"The answers to this questions and more, right here, on Total!"

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

Tori hung upside-down on a tree branch by her legs, doing crunches in this position, when Quentin approached her.

"Morning, Tori," Quentin greeted.

"I don't have time to speak with you, I'm afraid," Tori told him.

"Oh, I'm not here to speak with you," Quentin said as he darted his eyes back and forth. He then took a blue Invincibility Statue from his pocket and left it on the ground in front of Tori. "Just giving you this."

As Quentin began to walk away, Tori came down from the tree branch and picked the statue up.

"This is your Chris idol," Tori said.

"Well, technically it's _your_ Chris idol now, but..." Quentin said awkwardly.

"Why are you giving this to me?" Tori asked. "Do you think I can't handle myself?"

"No no no no!" Quentin responded earnestly. "It's just... I was born lucky. Things usually work out for me. I don't need this. But I'm worried that you might."

"Does this have anything to do with you opting out of yesterday's challenge?" Tori asked.

"Well, I mean, uh..." Quentin stammered. He sighed before he resumed speaking. "I really like you, Tori. You're probably my closest friend in this game. But look what happened to my other friends out here. Lester was the first one voted off. Xingrong left not long after. Kelsey sprained her ankle and then got voted off. I'm just worried that you're going to be next, and I don't want that. I have good luck, but does that good luck come at the price of the good luck of others? Until I know for sure, I want to make sure you're safe in this game."

"...I consider you my fondest friend in this game as well," Tori said with a slight smile. "It means a lot to me that you would let me have this." There was a brief pause. "...How would you like to work out alongside me?"

"I'd really like that, actually," Quentin said with a big smile.

"Just try not to sprain your ankle like Kelsey did," Tori joked.

"With my luck? I doubt it," Quentin chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Quentin:** Tori's a really cool girl, and I really like to spend time with her. Not to be cheesy, but we're practically birds of a feather. ...Okay, yeah, that was really cheesy. Forget I said that. _(He rubs the back of his head.)_

 **Tori:** I appreciate Quentin's friendship a great deal. Just as he wishes to protect me with his Invincibility, I think I'll protect him by working even harder to become stronger and win more challenges for the team.

* * *

Phoenix and Zarardo ate breakfast at the same time in the mess hall.

"Frankly, Yolonda has been the most tragic boot so far," Zarardo said. "I long for the days when she'd fix us all a lovely breakfast."

"Truly the dark days are before us," Phoenix joked. "Oh, that's right, I meant to talk to you about something."

"Me?" Zarardo asked. "Whatever for?"

"Here's the thing: Genesis is playing us all," Phoenix explained. "She's acting like a poor helpless little disabled girl, but I know for a fact she's playing multiple alliances all without being seen as a threat. If we don't lose her now while she's not expecting it, she's going to outlast all of us."

"So you wish for Genesis to leave next, eh?" Zarardo asked.

"That's not all I want," Phoenix continued. "Other than Genesis, I believe that you, Osric, Isidora, and I are the smartest people on this team. I think the four of us should form a secret alliance, pulling the strings from behind the scenes. I've already talked to Osric, and he's onboard. What do you say?"

"An interesting proposal, I must say," Zarardo said as he procured a saltshaker from seemingly nowhere and began to shake salt onto his eggs. "I'll have to think about it."

"That's fine. Not to rush, but if you can decide before our next vote, that'd be preferable," Phoenix nodded.

"I shall keep that in mind," Zarardo said as he procured a peppershaker from seemingly nowhere and began to shake it onto his eggs.

"How long have you been waiting to show that trick off?" Phoenix asked.

"I haven't the foggiest idea what you're talking about," Zarardo said innocently.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** The fact that Zarardo didn't say yes right away is suspicious to say the least. Why _not_ accept an offer like this? He could be running the game alongside me. It makes no sense.

 **Zarardo:** _(He is playing with his Fushigi ball.)_ The fact that Phoenix considers me one of the smartest members of this team is... troubling. I am merely His Majesty Warwick's fool, little more. If Phoenix thinks this highly of me, he likely sees me as a threat, and if he's spreading the idea that I'm a threat to Osric and Isidora, well... _(He chuckles sinisterly.)_ I might just have to work some of my magic on him. Can't have him ruining my little setup, can I?

* * *

Ephraim and Mondo entered the boys' cabin, both notably sweaty.

"That was quite the run," Ephraim commented. "And you do this every morning?"

"One lap around the island every morning," Mondo nodded. "Keeps my body strong and my mind sharp."

"Clever idea," Ephraim complimented. "And seeing as how you got your wish of Kelsey leaving last night, I'd say that sharp mind is paying off."

"She only would have held us back had she stuck around much longer," Mondo said curtly. "Plus I'm certain she had me in her radar as someone to eliminate."

"The two of you used to be aligned, didn't you?" Ephraim asked. "What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"

"It was her way or the highway," Mondo answered. "I'm not here to follow orders. I'm here to prove to the world that my sexuality doesn't make me weak."

"...Right, you're gay," Ephraim remembered. "I tend to forget, honestly."

"Good," Mondo said. "I'm not ashamed that I like guys, but I don't want to be defined by it either. That's why I refuse to enter any relationships while I'm in the game."

"Ironic how both the gay guys in the game ended up on the same team but will never get together," Ephraim pointed out.

"Jasper's cute, but he'd only distract me from the game at hand," Mondo shrugged. "He's someone I wouldn't mind leaving, but seeing as how he's pretty well-liked, it wouldn't be easy to get the votes against him."

"You'd probably need more of a reason to vote him out than 'he's distracting me'," Ephraim agreed.

"Anyway, how are things with you and Amelie?" Mondo asked. "Are you two together, or...?"

"Oh, no, we're just friends," Ephraim assured him. "I can't speak for Amelie, but I don't really have any romantic feelings towards her."

"I ship it," Mondo smirked.

"I'm not sure how to feel about that," Ephraim admitted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mondo:** Ephraim seems like a good guy. A bit boring, honestly, but fairly inoffensive. I wonder if I could rope him and/or Amelie into my alliance. Anything to balance out all the Hugh I have to deal with.

 **Ephraim:** Guess branching out has been a success. I'm already friends with Cordelia and Mondo now in addition to Amelie. That should help my standing with the team, at any rate.

* * *

Warwick found Isidora reading on her favorite rock.

"Ah, Princess Isidora!" Warwick greeted.

Isidora sighed as she shut her book. "I'm your princess now?"

"Well, you can't be my queen, because that'd imply that we're a couple, which we're not," Warwick explained.

"So I'm your daughter then?" Isidora asked with an eyebrow cocked.

"Well, I couldn't think of anything else you could be," Warwick admitted.

"Was there something you wanted, or did you just want to bestow this prestigious title upon me?" Isidora asked.

"I'm just bored," Warwick admitted. "And, uh, as your king, I demand that you entertain me!"

"If you think there are any blurred lines here, I'm just going to go right ahead and say no, I don't want it," Isidora quipped.

"What?! No, I didn't mean it like that!" Warwick gasped. "I just wanted a conversation!"

"Conversation and Hennessy?" Isidora asked.

"I don't even know what that is," Warwick admitted.

"I honestly shouldn't either, but my brother adores rap music for some reason," Isidora sighed. "I have to listen to the same inane lyrics a lot."

"You have a brother?" Warwick asked.

"Yeah, middle school kid named Vinnie," Isidora explained. "He thinks being Italian means he has to be 'gangster', but his version of gangster is some ungodly mashup of the Italian mafia, cholos, and those white people who pretend to be black people. It's way more uncomfortable than it sounds."

"Sounds uncomfortable as it is," Warwick chuckled. "And, uh, he wouldn't be allowed in my country once I begin to rule it!"

"If I'm the princess, that might make things difficult," Isidora remarked. "My mom will probably make me let him in anyway."

"The king has final say in everything," Warwick boasted. "I'd overrule her making you do anything."

"Right, remind me how you plan on taking over a kingdom again?" Isidora said dryly.

"Well, once I win the prize money, I'll buy myself an island, something small enough to afford but large enough be considered its own country. Then, after I officially declare independence..."

Isidora glanced at the camera and mimed shooting herself in the head as Warwick continued to ramble.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** Every day I have to keep reminding myself that the only reason I put up with Warwick and Zarardo is because they're the only ones who I'm sure won't vote me out. Well, I'm sure Warwick won't vote me out. I have no idea where Zarardo's head is, ever.

 **Warwick:** Man, I can't wait to finally start my kingdom. I still haven't decided on a name for it, but maybe Isidora has some ideas. She seems like a smart kid.

* * *

Cordelia and Jasper met up behind the washrooms.

"I can't believe people voted for Kelsey to go over Amelie," Cordelia pouted. "What's Amelie going to add that Kelsey couldn't add? Rudeness? Ignorance? Racial diversity? _Great_ reasons to keep someone." She huffed.

"Kelsey was both a strategic threat and a physical liability," Jasper explained.

"Who cares?!" Cordelia asked. "That's not what's important. Friendship is, and Kelsey was a better friend than Amelie could ever hope to realize someone can be."

"This is a game, Cordy," Jasper reminded her. "If you want to win, you're going to have to vote off anyone who could keep you from winning."

"Amelie is my arch rival, so she would have kept me from winning," Cordelia pointed out. "Kelsey voted for Amelie, which is proof that she's a good friend and thus worth keeping around. It's not rocket science, Jasper."

"No, rocket science makes logical sense," Jasper muttered.

"What?" Cordelia asked.

"Nevermind," Jasper said. "Look, just because Amelie didn't talk to you once doesn't mean she's the Antichrist. I've been speaking with her, and-"

"That's another thing. Why on Earth would you, my best friend, talk to that horrid, hateable hag?" Cordelia asked.

"She's not that bad," Jasper assured her.

Cordelia's eyes went vacuous.

"I'm not dealing with it, Cordy," Jasper said as he turned around. "That look won't work on me this time."

"What look?" Cordelia asked, her eyes now normal again.

"I'm going to get some breakfast. We can talk later," Jasper told her.

Cordelia's eyes went vacuous once again.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Cordelia:** _(Her eyes are still vacuous.)_ That... that bitch. She's trying to steal Jasper from me. But I won't allow it. I won't stand for it. I'll do everything I can to prevent her from succeeding.

 **Jasper:** Okay, Cordelia's starting to wear a bit thin on me. If she's going to be like this, then I see no reason to keep working with her. I don't even find her attractive anymore, that's how bad it's gotten.

* * *

Genesis and Ursula both relaxed in the girls' cabin.

"Man, what a slow-ass day," Ursula said. "I don't even feel like scaring anyone, I just wanna chill."

"If it's a slow day, wouldn't it help to find something to do?" Genesis texted.

"Well what do you think we should do?" Ursula asked. "Oh! I got it. We should go ask Osric which of us he'd rather date. That'll freak him out."

"I think we both know the answer to that question, though," Genesis texted.

"Yeah, good point," Ursula conceded. "What do you think he sees in me, anyway?"

"Well he makes it no secret that he's a pervert," Genesis texted. "But it's not like you're showing a lot of skin."

"Maybe he's into younger girls. I'm pretty sure he's a year or two older than I am," Ursula shrugged. "Whatever it is, I think we can all agree he's a weird guy."

"No question about that," Genesis texted with a smile.

"But I dunno, weird is cool," Ursula said. "Halloween is all about being weird, and I live for Halloween. Plus, Xingrong was pretty weird, and he was pretty awesome too."

"Do you have feelings for Osric?" Genesis texted.

"I mean, he's weird, which is cool, but I'm not sure about a relationship with him. I only met him a week ago," Ursula said, a bit unsure.

"Well, all I know is that you're the one who suggested we ask Osric out," Genesis texted with a shrug.

"Come on, that was a joke," Ursula insisted as she smacked Genesis playfully.

"Whatever you say," Genesis texted with a smirk.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** Osric's been my bud since day one, and I always had a feeling he was into me, but I've never thought of him as more than a friend. I'm not sure I don't still think of him as just a friend, but I dunno. Is there some subconscious level of my mind who likes him back? Geez, I've messed with other people's minds before, but not my own.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Osric and Ursula might be cute together, I suppose, but I don't actually think Ursula likes Osric like that. I was just playing with her. _(She silently chuckles.)_

* * *

Hugh found Amelie sitting alone on the Dock of Shame and sat next to her.

"'Sup, artard," Hugh greeted.

"What is it, Hugh?" Amelie sighed.

"Don't act like you're not happy to see me," Hugh scoffed.

"Why would I be?" Amelie asked. "You're... you're really mean."

"Well yeah, but deep down you love it," Hugh grinned. "Girls love a bad boy, and I'm the baddest one of them all."

"Some girls like bad boys, but I'm not one of them," Amelie frowned. "Is that why you're so mean to people? Because you think girls find it attractive?"

"Wha-? Since when do you ask questions?" Hugh asked, flabbergasted. "I-I mean, no, this... this is just who I am. And if you don't like it, then too bad."

"Hugh, I'm a coward, but I'm not dumb," Amelie said, slightly concerned. "If you want to be nice to me-"

"I'm not nice! Shut up!" Hugh panicked.

"There's no shame in being nice, Hugh," Amelie told him. "Ephraim and Jasper are both nice, and I really like spending time with them."

"Yeah, but Jasper's gay, so like that matters," Hugh scoffed. "I'm gonna bounce. You're too much of an artard for me anyway."

Hugh left the scene.

"How bizarre," Amelie said to herself.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Do you think, maybe, deep down, Hugh is just as scared as I am? I wonder.

 **Hugh:** Tch. What does Amelie know? I-I'm bad to the bone, and if she doesn't like that, th-then it's her loss.

* * *

Osric stood in the kitchen fixing himself some breakfast when Fauna entered the room.

"Oh hell no!" Fauna snapped. "I can't make myself breakfast with _you_ in the room!"

"What? Why not?" Osric asked.

"Just being in the same room as you pisses me off!" Fauna answered.

"...May I ask why?" Osric asked, bemused.

"'May I ask why'. Oh my... You whitelord scum are so blind to everything, aren't you?!" Fauna asked rhetorically.

"Apparently," Osric shrugged.

"Don't act like it's not damaging to our society!" Fauna snapped. "You whitelords are the reason the world is in the state it is you know!"

"Well, I'm almost done, so as soon as my toast is finished toasting, me and my whitelordness will leave, and you can fix yourself breakfast," Osric told her.

"I don't need your condescension!" Fauna snapped.

"Okay, then I'll just stay here when I'm done?" Osric said.

"No!" Fauna shouted.

"Well what do you want from me, woman?!" Osric cried.

"I want your entrails spilled all over the ground as you cough up blood," Fauna said darkly. "I want your limbs sawed off one by one, even and especially your penis. Then I want red-hot iron stakes shoved into your eyes. I'll leave the rest of your head intact, however, because I want to hear you scream while it all happens. All of this will be done by my hand, of course."

"...Well, I'm not hungry anymore," Osric said flatly as he left the scene. "Enjoy your kitchen."

"Oh, so because I'm black I automatically enjoy doing slave labor like fixing meals?! Is that it?!" Fauna snapped. "Racist pig."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Osric:** The fact that, after three eliminations on Killer Boldface, Fauna still has her Invincibility Statue is starting to unnerve me a bit. The sad part is, if she weren't this insane, she'd be kinda cute. Sadly, I'm not into doms. I like 'em submissive, which, contrary to what Fauna may believe, is not a reference to slavery. Well, not _that_ kind of slavery. _(He giggles pervertedly.)_

 **Fauna:** One step closer to putting that whitelord oppressive scum in his place.

* * *

Naomi sat on a rock in the forest while Vardaman tended to her scrapes.

"This is practically a mornin' routine for me by this point," Vardaman chuckled. "How do ya keep managin' to scrape yourself like this?"

"Oh, you know..." Naomi said, blushing furiously. "You skate around like I do, you're gonna wipe out once in a while. Happens to the best of us."

"Right, and you're not gonna take 'em off if I remember correctly," Vardaman nodded.

"Nope. I'm keeping these babies on for as long as I can," Naomi beamed.

"Well, this game's hard enough as it is, so if you make it far without takin' 'em off, I'd be real impressed," Vardaman chuckled. "I know I couldn't do it."

"Is that a challenge?" Naomi asked flirtatiously.

"Ya know what, sure," Vardaman said. "I challenge you to at least outlast me in this game without takin' those skates off."

"What do I get if I win?" Naomi asked, blushing harder.

"Whatever you want, within reason o'course," Vardaman told her.

Naomi blushed even harder.

"Well, that should about do it," Vardaman said as he placed the last bandage on Naomi's leg. He then noticed her blushing. "You alright? Your face looks awful red. You think it's a fever?"

As Vardaman placed his hand on Naomi's forehead, Naomi fainted.

"What in tarnation?! It's worse than I thought!" Vardaman gasped. He picked Naomi up. "I'd best take you back to the campsite and see if I can't get you some cold water after ya come to."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** I can't believe I just fainted in front of the boy of my dreams! How embarrassing! Although, he _did_ say I'd get anything within reason if I outlasted him. I'm thinking of making that something a dinner date, followed by some cuddling and maybe a kiss or two if that's not asking too much. I hope that's within reason. I don't want to be too pushy. What do I do, guys?! What do I dooooooooooooo?!

 **Vardaman:** Naomi's my best patient out here. Seems like every mornin' she has a new scrape or bruise or somethin' for me to tend to. Though if she keeps gettin' herself hurt, does that make her my best patient or my worst? Well, at any rate, I'll hold up my end of the deal if she does manage to outlast me, but make no mistake, I'm still goin' for first place, so I won't make it easy for her.

* * *

The eighteen campers all met up at the campsite, where Chris and Lindsay waited for them.

"Welcome, campers, to your next challenge," Chris beamed.

"And what a challenge it is!" Lindsay said excitedly, bouncing up and down.

"Ugh. Yes," Chris sighed. "If you couldn't tell, Lindsay came up with the idea for this challenge, so you know what, I'm just gonna let her describe it."

"Oh yay!" Lindsay clapped. "Alright, so here's the challenge: you guys are going to set up the perfect date!"

"A date?" Genesis texted.

"That's right!" Lindsay smiled. "You guys get to pick two of your teammates to actually be on the date. The rest of you get to set up the date for your lovely couple. You guys will have a certain amount of time to set the date up, and then a certain amount of time for the date to happen. I'll be watching you guys's dates, and once time is all up, I'll decide which date was the most romantic. The team with the most romantic date wins Invincibility!"

"This sounds awful," Hugh spat.

Lindsay stuck her tongue out at Hugh. "Well then, go decide who's going on the date and who's going to set it up. Have fun!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Lindsay:** I'm hoping at least one of the couples in this challenges gets together. That'd be soooo cute!

* * *

The Screaming Italics grouped up to discuss ideas.

"Well, first thing's first, who's gonna be our lovely couple?" Vardaman asked.

Silence.

"Ooh! Me and Ephry!" Cordelia suggested.

"Thoughts on this, Ephraim?" Tori asked.

"I'm fine with it if she is," Ephraim shrugged.

"I'll do Cordy's makeup and outfit!" Jasper offered. "Babe, I'm going to make you look smashing."

"Yay!" Cordelia cheered.

"I think I can take care of my outfit myself," Ephraim told the rest of his team. "The rest of you should put the date together."

"What exactly will the date be?" Mondo asked. "That's going to be important to know."

"I just assumed it was candlelight dinner," Hugh shrugged.

"Quentin makes real good food," Vardaman pointed out.

"I do?" Quentin asked.

"Shoot, your meals always look mighty fine when you make 'em yourself," Vardaman said.

"Uh, sure," Quentin shrugged. "Tori, you want to help with that?"

"May as well," Tori said.

"That leaves Amelie, Hugh, Mondo, n' myself to set up the setting for the date," Vardaman said.

"Is the mess hall a good idea?" Amelie asked. "Or is that not romantic enough?"

"How about the very top of the cliff?" Cordelia suggested. "A date with a view!"

"I don't know, Cordelia. That sounds like it'd be difficult to-" Ephraim started, only to stop once he saw Cordelia' vacuous gaze. "Or not. Clifftop sounds fine."

"Alright. We all have our jobs, now let's go do them," Tori said firmly.

"Right," came various responses from her teammates. The team broke up to get to work on the challenge.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Cordelia:** My master plan is going into action. Ephraim's going to fall in love with me by the time this date is over, thus, he'll leave Amelie. I chose the top of the cliff because I knew it'd be difficult to pull off, so I _might_ be throwing the challenge if I don't feel like Ephraim loves me enough so I can vote off Amelie.

 **Tori:** With Kelsey gone, it seems like Vardaman and I have taken up the role of joint leaders of this team. So long as this doesn't make me a target, I am fine with this.

 **Mondo:** I kind of wish I got more of a say in how we'd do the challenge, but romance isn't really my specialty anyway. I don't know how straight people romance works. What do women even like?

 **Hugh:** My prayers and condolences to Ephraim for having to put up with Cordelia for this challenge.

* * *

The Killer Boldface grouped up to discuss ideas.

"Alright, who's able to be part of a romantic couple? Because I sure as hell can't," Phoenix said.

"It's going to have to be some combination of Genesis, Ursula, and/or Zarardo," Fauna stated.

"I'm pretty sure we're all straight. And not racist," Ursula pointed out.

"Um, I'm demisexual thank you very much," Fauna frowned.

"Of course you are," Zarardo said dismissively. "Anyone here have any chemistry with a close friend?"

"I declare that Isidora and I be the couple in this challenge!" Warwick decided.

"I veto this," Isidora said flatly.

"Aw, fine," Warwick pouted.

"Why don't Osric and Ursula go?" Genesis texted.

"Because the date has to be romantic," Fauna pointed out. "If you expect a white man to be anything but oppressive..."

"Screw off, Fauna, I wouldn't mind it," Ursula said.

"Wait, really?" Osric asked in surprised disbelief.

"Sure, we're good friends, right?" Ursula asked. "We probably have more chemistry than some of the actual couples on this show."

"Heather x Alejandro is overrated!" Naomi chimed in.

"No objections to the couple? Besides Fauna?" Zarardo asked.

Silence.

"Cool. So what do the rest of us have to do?" Isidora asked.

"Actually, might I suggest this date be a barefoot walk on the beach?" Osric asked. "That's romantic, and it doesn't require a lot of effort."

"I can be down with that," Ursula nodded.

"I'm definitely fine with a challenge that doesn't require a ton of effort on my part," Isidora nodded.

"Are we sure we won't get docked points for this?" Genesis texted. "Lindsay did say that those of us not on the date have to set things up."

"We can draw a path for them in the sand," Phoenix said.

"This is satisfactory!" Warwick declared.

"To the beach!" Naomi said dramatically.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Osric:** Not to brag, but I totally figured out a way for Ursula to be barefoot for the entire date. You're welcome, fellow foot fetishists.

 **Fauna:** I swear, even the people of color are silencing me now! What is wrong with this show?!

 **Zarardo:** I couldn't help but notice how Warwick, Mr. "I'm a king and I'm in charge", was so fine with Isidora going against his decision. I don't think I'm very comfortable with the idea of anyone holding more power over him than I hold. Ugh, priorities, Zarardo. I still need to figure out how to deal with Phoenix.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Everyone knows couples are huge targets because couples are the tightest alliances there are. While I may look like I'm just playing matchmaker, what I'm really doing is painting a bigger target on Osric's and Ursula's backs. Sure, I'm aligned with them, but this way, if that alliance is targeted, people will go for them rather than Naomi or me.

* * *

Cordelia and Jasper prepared for Cordelia's date in the girls' cabin. Cordelia sat on a bunk in her underwear while Jasper picked out a dress for her from a rack provided by the staff.

"So, you and Ephraim have been getting awful close," Jasper pointed out.

"Well yeah. I've always been one for making new friends," Cordelia responded.

"I know. I'm just wondering what your true intentions are here," Jasper said.

"What do you mean?" Cordelia asked as Jasper handed her a pink dress.

"Well, I know you hate Amelie, and Amelie trusts Ephraim quite a bit," Jasper explained. "All I'm saying is that someone in your position might feel inclined to try and steal Ephraim from Amelie."

"What?!" Cordelia gasped as she threw the dress back at Jasper. "The pink doesn't look good on me. But that's not the issue here!"

"Then what is?" Jasper asked as he handed Cordelia a green dress.

"Who says I can't just be friends with Ephraim?" Cordelia asked. "I'm the friendly one. That's like, my thing."

"Whatever you say," Jasper said in disbelief.

Cordelia threw the green dress at Jasper. "I don't like your attitude or how the green looks on me."

"You wear green shorts all the time," Jasper pointed out as he handed Cordelia a red dress.

"Different green," Cordelia pouted. "What kind of gay man are you who can't tell the difference between kelly green and mint green?"

"That's homophobic," Jasper said flatly.

"Oop! Sorry," Cordelia apologized.

Jasper grinned to himself.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** The fact that I'm manipulating Amelie onto my side is completely irrelevant to me calling out Cordelia manipulating Ephraim onto her side. For one, I'm pretending to be gay, so I can get away with anything. For two, I'm not obvious about my manipulation.

 **Cordelia:** That was a close one. For a moment there, Jasper almost figured out my master plan.

* * *

The Killer Boldface had decided to split up when drawing a path in the sand for Osric and Ursula in order to save time. Isidora, Naomi, and Warwick all went counterclockwise while the rest all went clockwise.

"I still can't believe we separated ourselves by race for this part of the challenge," Warwick stated.

"It was the only way to get Fauna to shut up," Isidora shrugged.

"Good point, good point," Warwick nodded. "She can be a handful, that one."

"So why haven't we voted her out yet?" Naomi thought aloud.

"Well, our first vote was for Xingrong, who's way worse than Fauna could ever be," Warwick pointed out.

"Obviously," Isidora said with a roll of her eyes.

"And then after that was Ronoc, who's a whelp," Naomi recalled.

"Stop stealing my word!" Warwick whined.

"Yolonda leaving was a fluke," Isidora continued. "But it is worth noting that Fauna did not receive votes that night."

"Maybe she's just not as big of a threat as I am," Warwick boasted.

"Well she _does_ still have a hidden statue," Isidora pointed out.

"So why don't we just get rid of it?" Naomi asked. "We all vote for her unanimously, then do so again next time we have to vote."

"Well, if that does happen, she'll cast the sole vote for someone to leave, which, as a white person, doesn't sit well with me," Isidora answered.

"Well we're going to have to do it at some point, right?" Naomi asked. "Why not next time we have to vote?"

"I mean, if you want to put yourself in danger like that," Isidora shrugged.

"Well I sure don't," Warwick spat. "I have power over her as it is. She is no threat to me. I'm not going to put my game on the line so we can get rid of someone who's not worth getting rid of."

"Yes you are," Isidora said.

"Alright, fine," Warwick pouted.

"You guys are silly," Naomi giggled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** The others may be annoyed by Fauna, and I am as well, but she's not even worth getting rid of right now. There are bigger fish to fry and bigger threats to my reign over the island. But Isidora probably knows what she's doing. Perhaps she can be another advisor of mine.

 **Isidora:** To be honest, the fact that Warwick does whatever I tell him is both creepy and helpful to my game. I might even be able to use this to my advantage, who knows?

 **Naomi:** Warwick's so whipped. _(She giggles.)_

* * *

Amelie, Hugh, Mondo, and Vardaman all carried things up the path to the top of the cliff. Mondo carried the table and chairs, Vardaman carried the plates and silverware, Hugh carried the candelabrum, and Amelie carried the napkins and tablecloth.

"Gotta admit, it's nice having someone who can carry an entire room's worth of furniture," Hugh commented.

"I'm a multi-talented man," Mondo shrugged. "Besides, this way we only have to take the one trip up."

"We're still gonna hafta set it all up o'course," Vardaman pointed out.

"Still, not too difficult," Hugh grinned. "Which is more than fine by me."

"The outcome of the challenge will still depend on how the date goes, though," Amelie mentioned.

"Gotta admit, I didn't see those two gettin' together at all," Vardaman said.

"Why not?" Mondo asked.

"Cordelia's kinda hard to deal with sometimes, if we're bein' honest," Vardaman admitted.

"I think she hates me because I was too nervous to talk to her once," Amelie whimpered.

"Yeah, but you think everyone hates you because you're too nervous to talk to anyone," Hugh scoffed.

Amelie hung her head with a frown.

"Now that ain't necessary," Vardaman scolded Hugh.

"Is anything in life really 'necessary'?" Hugh scoffed. "Besides food, shelter, and water, is anything we say, do, or enjoy really necessary?"

"Nothing _you_ say, do, or enjoy is necessary," Mondo remarked.

"Wha- Hey!" Hugh exclaimed.

Amelie giggled a bit.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** What gives? I thought Mondo was on my side!

 **Mondo:** Just because Hugh and I vote the same way doesn't mean I can't say what we're all thinking. _(He shrugs.)_

 **Amelie:** What I wouldn't give to have the courage to make comebacks like that.

 **Vardaman:** Mondo's strong, well-liked, and seems pretty smart... Ya think we should do somethin' about him?

* * *

Fauna, Genesis, Phoenix, and Zarardo continued to draw a path for Osric and Ursula.

"Thank god we were able to separate the team by race," Fauna said. "It's bad enough that we have an interracial couple for this challenge. If I had to spend one more second near a white person, I swear I'd be triggered beyond recovery."

"So you haven't been triggered this entire time?" Genesis texted, an eyebrow cocked.

"No, and it hasn't been easy," Fauna grimaced.

"I'll say," Phoenix muttered.

"I'm just glad the people of color have always outnumbered the honkies on our team," Fauna said. "I'm telling y'all, if we stick together, we can take over the game."

"Well, that'd all depend on Zarardo," Genesis texted as she glanced at the magician.

Zarardo blinked, as if he were snapped out of a daze.

"Were you even listening?" Fauna snapped.

"Apologies, but I was deep in thought," Zarardo said. "You said my name?"

"I'm offering a spot in my alliance for you," Fauna said. "If you and Ursula join up, we can ensure that a POC wins this game."

"What about the majority of white people on the other team?" Zarardo asked.

"They'll probably get themselves voted out one way or another," Fauna dismissed. "Kelsey's already gone home, so it seems to me like they're finally getting the right idea."

"You can't rely on the actions of others," Phoenix told Fauna. "They won't always do what you want them to."

"They will if they have a shred of morality," Fauna responded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fauna:** Mark my words, I _will_ ensure that a POC wins this season. If not me, then someone else, but I won't stand for yet another white winner.

 **Phoenix:** My most trusted ally, ladies and gentlemen. _(He sighs.)_

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Of course a white person won't be winning, because I will be.

 **Zarardo:** If you must know, I was thinking about Phoenix's alliance offer. If he's serious about losing Fauna, then I just might have to reconsider not joining him. Doesn't mean I'll put my game in his hands, of course, but anything to be rid of that horrid girl.

* * *

Quentin and Tori worked together to fix spaghetti in the kitchen.

"Why must we make spaghetti for the date?" Tori asked. "Would it not get cold by the time we take it to the top of the cliff?"

"Nah, we have a platter for it," Quentin told her.

"How will one platter cover two plates of spaghetti?" Tori asked.

"There's only going to be one plate," Quentin said with a wink.

"Why? Is one of them not hungry?" Tori asked.

"Come on, haven't you ever heard of Lady and the Tramp?" Quentin asked.

"The name sounds familiar. I believe it's an animated children's film?" Tori recalled.

"I personally haven't seen it, but I know there's a scene where the main characters share a plate of spaghetti only to slurp on the same noodle, causing them to kiss," Quentin explained.

"That does sound rather romantic," Tori said with a slight smile.

"Exactly, so I'm hoping to recreate it here," Quentin said. "That's sure to earn us some points."

"I agree," Tori nodded.

"So did you not watch a lot of movies as a kid?" Quentin asked.

"No time when there's training to be done," Tori answered.

"How long exactly have you been training?" Quentin asked.

"Since I was a young child," Tori answered.

"What exactly are you training for?" Quentin asked.

"To become the strongest woman in the world," Tori stated.

"Ah, right," Quentin nodded. "Why do you want to become-"

"That is my own personal business," Tori interrupted. She sighed. "I'm sorry, Quentin. I'll tell you at a later date, but now is not the time."

"Oh hey, no worries," Quentin smiled.

Tori gave a slight smile back.

"How are you guys doing?" Ephraim asked as he entered the room.

"I think we'll win this challenge yet," Quentin beamed.

"Agreed," Tori said with a nod.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Tori:** Quentin is someone I've come to trust during my time in this game, so I will tell him soon, but I'd rather not ruin the romantic atmosphere with my story. R-Romantic for the challenge, I meant. I'm sure it would... affect the taste of the food if... _(She sighs and exits the confessional.)_

 **Quentin:** Tori doesn't have to tell me anything if she doesn't want to. If she's not comfortable with it, that's fine. She's still my best friend out here.

 **Ephraim:** Nice to hear the food will be good, at any rate. I'll be honest, I'm a bit nervous about my date with Cordelia, and not for the normal reasons one might be nervous before a date. You guys know how Cordelia can be.

* * *

Osric and Ursula relaxed in the boys' cabin.

"You sure I'm allowed in here?" Ursula asked.

"Eh, what are they going to do?" Osric asked. "I can guarantee no one's going to come in here except maybe Ephraim who I think is just strolling about the campsite anyway."

"Yeah, good point," Ursula agreed. "So, you nervous?"

"I'm not too proud to admit that I am," Osric chuckled. "I don't go on dates very often."

"I can't imagine why," Ursula teased.

"Yeah, total mystery," Osric said, playing along. "What about you? Are you nervous?"

"More so than I thought I'd be, that's for sure," Ursula confessed. "I mean, we're just friends, right? So why am I afraid of things going wrong?"

"Because you value my friendship?" Osric guessed. "Because you value your own credibility as someone scary? Because you secretly love me?"

"Yeah, that's definitely it," Ursula said playfully. "Hold me, Osric, I just can't keep it in any longer."

"Oh Ursula, I have waited years for you to speak these words to me!" Osric played along, equally as overdramatic. "Marry me, my love. Let the world sing of our romance!"

"You're ridiculous," Ursula laughed.

"You started it," Osric winked. "That makes you even more ridiculous."

"No, you continuing it makes you more ridiculous," Ursula said as she playfully shoved Osric.

"No, Vin Diesel starring in that awful sci-fi movie makes him more Riddickulous," Osric joked.

"I freaking hate you," Ursula laughed as she playfully shoved Osric again.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Osric:** Ursula's a ton of fun. Honestly, I wouldn't mind if she and I just stayed friends. Better off not ruining our friendship, you know?

 **Ursula:** Oh my Kreuger I think I'm in love with that boy.

* * *

The timeframe to prepare for the date was over and night had fallen. On the top of the thousand-foot cliff, a table had been set with a fancy tablecloth, lit candles, and two places facing across from each other as well as a covered platter of food. Ephraim had changed into a tuxedo with a silver-colored tie and pocket square, and his hair was neatly combed. He sat at the table, awaiting his date.

"It's kinda cold up here," Ephraim noted. "I guess that's what happens when you're at high altitude at night."

"Your date has arrived!" Cordelia announced once she made it to the top of the cliff.

"...Wow," Ephraim said, impressed. "You clean up wonderfully."

Cordelia wore a flowing blue dress and had let her hair down in addition to wearing a bit more makeup than she normally did.

"Aw, thanks Ephry," Cordelia smiled. "You do too."

"Well, now that you're here, I suppose we should begin eating," Ephraim smiled.

"Um, hello," Cordelia said, slightly miffed. "You haven't pulled my seat out for me yet."

"Oh, are we doing that?" Ephraim asked.

"It is supposed to be a romantic date," Cordelia said, her arms folded.

"Got it," Ephraim said as he stood up and pulled Cordelia's seat out for her, prompting her to take a seat.

"Why thank you, good sir," Cordelia said politely.

"Of course, milady," Ephraim responded. "...Do I have to talk like that too?"

"It wouldn't hurt," Cordelia shrugged.

"Well then, erm, do tell me about yourself, good lady Cordelia," Ephraim inquired.

"Well, I was born on the seventeenth of November in the one thousand nine hundred and ninety-ninth year of our lord," Cordelia responded.

"I thought we're calling it Common Era now," Ephraim said. "Because Anno Domini is offensive to people who don't believe in God... for some reason."

"It is not proper to correct a lady," Cordelia frowned.

"Erm, my apologies," Ephraim responded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ephraim:** I never saw the issue with BC and AD. I don't believe in God, but really, who's less rational, someone who believes in a god he can't see, or someone who's offended by a god he doesn't believe in?

 **Cordelia:** Despite some bumps in the road on Ephraim's part, I think we're doing alright. _(She smiles.)_

* * *

Osric and Ursula stepped down to the beach once night had fallen and the timeframe to prepare for the date was over. They both removed their shoes once they stepped onto the beach and left them there as they began to walk between the two long lines drawn out for them by their teammates.

"You ready?" Osric asked with a smile.

"Let's do this," Ursula said, still slightly nervous.

Osric offered Ursula his hand. She tentatively took it as the two began to walk between the lines.

"So, why do you love Halloween so much?" Osric asked. "Granted, it's my favorite holiday too, but you really own it."

"Aw, you know," Ursula said. "Who doesn't love the fall seasons? Warm drinks by the fireplace while it's raining outside, pumpkin spice everything, plus, well, Halloween. The thing with Halloween is that you can get away with scaring the crap out of whoever you want, which is something I've loved doing since I was a kid. I remember hiding in my parent's closet waiting for one of them to open it up and I'd jump out and yell 'boo'."

"That's adorable," Osric gushed.

"Plus, you know, I really like candy," Ursula said. "Why is Halloween your favorite?"

"I'll be honest, I appreciate the, er, _costumes_ the women tend to wear at parties," Osric chuckled. "Plus, who doesn't love seeing the Peanuts Halloween special every year?"

"Aw, I freaking love that cartoon," Ursula grinned. "Linus's innocence is so adorable."

"I'm always thought he made the Great Pumpkin up," Osric nodded.

"No, the Great Pumpkin is definitely real," Ursula said seriously. "I was talking about him not knowing about Sally's crush on him. I always shipped them, even before I knew what shipping was."

"I never shipped them," Osric admitted. "She wasn't even born when the comic started, so I can only imagine she must be two years old or so during that special, and Linus would have to be seven or so."

"So? You're on a date with a girl younger than you," Ursula pointed out.

"How old are you?" Osric asked.

"Fifteen," Ursula answered.

"You're right; I'm seventeen," Osric nodded. "How'd you know I'm older than you?"

"Lucky guess," Ursula shrugged.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** That awkward moment where Osric doesn't believe in the Great Pumpkin and doesn't support my Peanuts OTP. My last boyfriend thought I was too immature, and I'm wondering if Osric thinks the same thing. Ugh, I should _not_ be this insecure! It's just Osric!

 **Osric:** I still can't believe I get to go on a date with Ursula, the girl of my dreams. Even if it's just for a challenge, I'm feeling really lucky.

* * *

Cordelia and Ephraim had both begun to eat as Ephraim had served them each some spaghetti from the platter onto separate plates, much to Cordelia's chagrin.

"Dearest Ephraim, are you sure we should eat from separate plates?" Cordelia asked. "I'm sure that our teammates put it all on one platter for a reason."

"Yeah, so we could both grab some easily," Ephraim affirmed.

"I do believe their intention was for us to eat directly off the platter," Cordelia pouted.

"...Then why do we have our own plates?" Ephraim asked.

"It is quite clear that our teammates made a mistake," Cordelia answered. "In addition, I wish you'd speak more eloquently for our fancy date."

"I mean, it takes a bit to try and translate what I'm thinking into fancy-ese," Ephraim responded. "Besides, wouldn't it be more comfortable to speak more casually anyway?"

Cordelia's eyes went vacuous.

Ephraim sighed. "Apologies, milady."

"Oh, it is of no concern whatsoever," Cordelia responded, her eyes back to normal. She grabbed her plate of spaghetti and tossed it off the cliff, her silverware following shortly..

"May I ask why you did that?" Ephraim asked, shocked.

"I wish to share this platter of spaghetti with you, darling," Cordelia responded. "I'd appreciate it if you followed suit, good sir..

Ephraim sighed as he tossed his plate and silverware off the cliff.

"Now, slurp spaghetti with me, if you please," Cordelia instructed as she leaned in and began to slurp the pasta.

Ephraim glanced to the camera in disbelief before doing the same.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Cordelia:** I wanted the date to go perfectly, and I wasn't about to let some Plain Jane eating experience get in the way of that. Thankfully I didn't have to throw the challenge because Ephraim seems to really like me

 **Ephraim:** I don't understand Cordelia.

* * *

Osric and Ursula continues to walk across the beach around the island.

"So, what are your hobbies? Besides creeping on girls?" Ursula asked.

"Well, you saw me recite a poem I wrote in the talent show, so that's one thing I enjoy doing: writing and reciting poems of mine," Osric told her. "I'm a pretty big fan of Total Drama, hence me being on here, so I have an entire group of friends online where we talk exclusively about this show. And, uh, sometimes I watch movies."

"Family friendly movies?" Ursula chuckled.

"Yes, I don't see why you'd... Okay, wow," Osric responded. "That wasn't code for 'porn', I meant I actually enjoy film."

"What's your favorite movie?" Ursula asked.

"Busty Mom Has Fun with Son's Best Friend," Osric answered.

Ursula looked blankly at Osric.

"That was a joke," Osric said flatly. "My favorite film is Battle Royale."

"Never seen it," Ursula said. "Sounds gruesome though."

"It is. You'd love it," Osric affirmed. "We should find a way to watch it together."

"Like, as a follow-up date?" Ursula asked.

"As friends," Osric told her. "Friends watch movies together. That's a totally normal thing. At least, I think it is. I don't get out a lot."

"Having too much fun at home with your movies?" Ursula teased.

" _So_ much _filthy_ fun," Osric teased back.

"You're disgusting!" Ursula laughed.

"You're the one who made the double entendre," Osric told her. "You're the one who's being Chronicles of Riddickulous."

"Alright, that joke's wearing out," Ursula admitted.

"Fair enough," Osric shrugged.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Osric:** For someone who hasn't been on a date since... ever... this is working out fairly well I'd say.

 **Ursula:** I just hope he doesn't expect a kiss. I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I'm not even sure if I like him or not. I mean, obviously I don't, but...

* * *

"Attention, campers!" Lindsay announced over the PA system. "The date will be over in five minutes! If the lovely couples haven't kissed yet, you might want to do that. It'll be worth loads of points."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Cordelia:** Yay!

 **Ursula:** Shit.

* * *

Back on the cliff, Cordelia began pulling on a single strand of spaghetti.

"Might I inquire as to what you are doing, madame?" Ephraim asked.

"I am preparing for our kiss," Cordelia answered. Once she removed the spaghetti from the mess of pasta, she handed Ephraim one end while she held onto the other. "Do put this into your mouth and begin to slurp, that our lips might meet in a passionate kiss."

Ephraim shrugged and put the spaghetti in his mouth. The two teens slurped the pasta until their lips met halfway. Cordelia wrapped her arms around Ephraim's head as the two shared a kiss.

Ephraim bit down on the pasta, allowing the two to break the kiss.

"Well tonight was... a night to remember," Ephraim commented as he and Cordelia both swallowed their spaghetti.

"I know, right?!" Cordelia beamed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ephraim:** I have no idea how I feel about Cordelia after all of this. On one hand, she's kind of pushy and expectant of others, but on the other hand, I don't know what it is, but there's something about her that makes me just want to do as she asks of me. Is that love? Wanting to help her despite her flaws? I don't know.

* * *

On the beach, Osric and Ursula had just heard Lindsay's message.

"Well, it's been lovely," Osric said with a smile.

"Y-Yeah," Ursula said nervously.

Osric took Ursula's other hand. The teens' fingers were interlocked as Osric leaned in for a kiss. Ursula leaned in for a kiss as well before letting go of Osric's hands and backing away.

"I... I can't," Ursula told him. "I'm really sorry. There's like a billion reasons why and none of them are your fault."

"Oh... that's alright..." Osric said, forcing a smile. "I won't make you do anything you're not comfortable with."

"I'm really really sorry," Ursula said before walking ahead of Osric, leaving him behind.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Osric:** I wasn't completely sure Ursula would go for a kiss, but I figured that if she did, she'd be less... apologetic about it. She always seems pretty confident with what she wants. Now I'm worried about her. I'll give her some space tonight and talk to her about it tomorrow... assuming we didn't just lose the challenge and one of us is going home.

* * *

Cordelia, Ephraim, Osric, and Ursula had returned to the campsite, where Lindsay stood before them.

"Okay guys, I managed to watch both your dates at once, and I think I've made my decision," Lindsay told the campers. "It was actually a pretty close call. Both couples had their ups and downs, but only one date could come out on top. And that date was..."

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"Osric and Ursula!" Lindsay announced.

"What?!" Cordelia gasped.

"Osric and Ursula didn't kiss, and they didn't really dress for a date, which docked them some points," Lindsay said. "However, they both seemed like they had a great time on their date. Ephraim didn't look like he was enjoying himself, which led to the Killer Boldface winning this challenge."

Osric smiled to Ursula, who gave a small smile in return.

"Ephry!" Cordelia scolded Ephraim.

"I didn't hate it," Ephraim admitted. "I guess I'm just not the kind of guy who wears his emotions on his sleeve."

"I can't believe this!" Cordelia cried.

"Attention, campers!" Chris announced on the PA. "In case you didn't yet know, Killer Boldface have won Invincibility. Congrats to them. Screaming Italics, you guys will need your votes cast within the hour. McLean, out!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fauna:** I literally have no idea how we won that challenge, but I'm not going to turn down Invincibility for the night either.

 **Zarardo:** Well, it looks as though I have all the time I need to settle on a game plan regarding Phoenix and Isidora. How lucky of me.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I think it's safe to say that my if my plan to get them together wasn't successful, it will be soon.

 **Naomi:** Awwwww, Osric and Ursula did it! I'm so happy for them!

* * *

Quentin, Tori, and Vardaman met up in the forest.

"So, thoughts on the vote?" Vardaman asked.

"I know Kelsey wanted to get rid of Mondo's statue," Quentin said. "Why don't we try for that in her honor?"

"She isn't dead," Tori said simply.

"I get what he's sayin', though," Vardaman said. "I definitely think it's somethin' worth doin'. I was even thinkin' about it this mornin'"

"Doing this will leave the elimination out of our hands," Tori pointed out.

"I'm thinkin' the votes might fall towards Ephraim n' Cordelia for losin' the challenge for us," Vardaman thought aloud. "I get the feelin' we're safe."

"If nothing else, a certain someone here also has an Invincibility Statue," Quentin smiled.

"No need to brag, now," Vardaman said. "But yeah, I agree with votin' for Mondo. Course, we're gonna need more than just our three votes if we wanna get rid of his statue."

"Two more votes will make a majority," Tori nodded.

"I think I saw Ephraim and Mondo hanging out this morning, so he and Amelie are a bust," Quentin thought aloud.

"And I know Hugh's aligned with Mondo," Vardaman added.

"That leaves Cordelia and Jasper," Tori pointed out.

"It's somethin'," Vardaman said. "Let's get'r done!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I'm thinkin' now's a good time to make a big move while everyone else is thinkin' about how poorly our team's date apparently went. Hate to do it, but Mondo's a strong player, and a threat to my alliance, and I'll do whatever I can to make sure we make it through this game... unless they become too injured to compete of course.

 **Tori:** At the very least, I have no reason to fear elimination tonight. I must thank Quentin again for generously giving me his statue.

 **Quentin:** Do you think there's an alternate universe where birds are the sentient species and they go human-watching, and build human feeders and human baths for their backyards? Maybe their race wars are between flightless birds and birds who can fly. Is this a thing? If it's not, I may need to pitch that to someone as like a sci-fi novel or something.

* * *

Hugh and Mondo met up in the boys' cabin.

"Alright, what's tonight's plan?" Hugh asked.

"Cordelia," Mondo answered. "Ephraim told me she was a horrible date, and frankly she's one of our weakest links to start with."

"Thank you!" Hugh said dramatically. "I've been pushing to get that bitch out since day two, ever since I was with Bijou and Stormy~."

"Well, you just might get your wish tonight," Mondo said nonchalantly.

"So are we going to rope Quentin and Tori into this?" Hugh asked.

"I'm actually thinking of not aligning with them," Mondo said. "I'd rather not force it, especially since I'm starting to get along with Ephraim, and wherever he goes, Amelie goes, so the four of us should be good."

"Amelie..." Hugh muttered.

"With them on our side, we're only going to need one more vote," Mondo explained. "Any one of Kelsey's old allies should work."

"Need my help, or can you do this all by yourself once again?" Hugh asked.

"Just leave it to me," Mondo told him. "Your social game is awful, so quite frankly, I don't trust you to sway anyone to our side."

"Pfft. You _wish_ you had my social game," Hugh scoffed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mondo:** I think I can run this team with just a bit of work. Cordelia and Jasper are on the outs of the team, so as soon as they're gone, my alliance of four will have majority over the other alliance of three.

 **Hugh:** I'll be aligned with Amelie? That ain't good. I think she might be catching onto me. If she spends any more time with me, she might even out me as being... eugh, nice. I can't have that if I want any shot at getting a girlfriend this season. Maybe I'll just be even more bad to her. That'll get her to drop the pretenses.

* * *

Amelie and Ephraim met up on the beach.

"What are these lines for?" Amelie wondered as she looked at the path Osric and Ursula walked. "And what's with the footprints?"

"I think this was Osric's and Ursula's date," Ephraim explained.

"Oh. That sounds nice," Amelie said.

"You think a walk on the beach sounds nice, eh?" Ephraim asked. "Seems to me like you're growing braver every day."

"Well, I've been talking to Jasper. He makes me feel better about myself," Amelie admitted shyly.

"Good for you," Ephraim said genuinely.

"Hello Ephry. Hello RuPaul," Cordelia said as she arrived on the scene.

"RuPaul isn't even Asian..." Amelie muttered.

"What is it, Cordelia?" Ephraim asked.

"Jasper and I are voting for Amelie tonight so I'd love it if you did the same," Cordelia smiled.

"I'm right here..." Amelie murmured dejectedly.

"Alright, fine, I'll do it," Ephraim said flatly.

"Cool. Thanks!" Cordelia smiled before leaving.

"Obviously I'm not going to vote for you," Ephraim told Amelie.

"But what about Jasper?" Amelie asked.

"Of that, I am not sure..." Ephraim admitted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ephraim:** I still have no idea how I feel about Cordelia. There's just something about her... I've never been a genius, but I'm really struggling to figure out an answer here.

 **Amelie:** I bet Jasper's just faking his friendship with me... Wouldn't surprise me...

 **Cordelia:** Ephraim's so nice!

 **Jasper:** I've heard Amelie's, Cordelia's, and Mondo's names tonight. How interesting. I think I'll keep my vote a secret until the marshmallows are handed out.

* * *

The nine members of the Screaming Italics met up at the bonfire pit. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"Well well, if it isn't my old friends the Screaming Italics," Chris smiled. "We've been meeting a lot, haven't we?"

"You wanna meet my fist?" Hugh threatened.

"Maybe later," Chris said dismissively. "Anyway, you know how it goes. If you get a marshmallow, then you are safe. If you do not get a marshmallow, then you have been voted out of the game. That said..."

"Quentin."

"Jasper."

"Tori."

"Vardaman."

"Hugh."

"Ephraim."

"Amelie."

Cordelia's eyes went vacuous as she noticed that she was in the bottom two alongside Mondo.

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"Well, no point in holding suspense too long since we all know Cordelia's out anyway," Chris said. "She received the most votes tonight, so Mondo gets to keep his Invincibility Statue another day."

"Nice try, guys," Mondo smirked.

Cordelia dug her nails into her scalp as she attempted to process her elimination.

"We should get going, Cordelia," Chris suggested. "Anyone who wants to say goodbye to her can follow us to the Dock. Everyone else is free to head to bed."

* * *

Cordelia, Ephraim, and Chris all came to the Dock of Shame.

"Ephraim is my only true friend..." Cordelia droned, her eyes still empty. "Everyone else is unfriendly... they betrayed me."

"Just don't go emo on us," Chris remarked. "We already had that plotline last season and I'll be damned if we repeat that."

"I think he'll be damned regardless," Ephraim joked to Cordelia, who remained emotionless.

Silence.

"Well, it was nice to meet you, Cordelia," Ephraim said as he patted her shoulder with a concerned look on his face. "I hope you make lots of friends underground."

"...Wait, underground?" Cordelia asked as she snapped out of her trance. "Are you going to kill me?!"

"Haha. I wish," Chris chuckled as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors. "Any last words, Cordelia?"

"You'd better win this, Ephraim Malia!" Cordelia declared. "I won't stand for anyone else winning this game!"

"I'll keep that in mind," Ephraim said awkwardly.

"Well, with that tear-jerking goodbye, Ephraim, you can head to bed," Chris said.

Ephraim nodded as he left the Dock of Shame. Cordelia entered the Elevator.

"Cordelia, you have finished this game in 18th place," Chris said.

"..." Cordelia said nothing, her eyes blank once again.

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater. "And with that, the Killer Boldface have the numbers lead for once. How about that?"

"And the Screaming Icelandics keep voting for girls," Lindsay frowned. "I smell a conspiracy."

"Pretty sure it's just a coincidence, Lindsay," Chris remarked. "But I do have questions surrounding that team. Will Jasper adapt to Cordelia's elimination? Is Amelie starting to break through Hugh's rough exterior? Will Vardaman take over as the team leader?"

"Will Zarardo decide on what sneaky plan to do?" Lindsay asked. "What does Fauna have against white people? And what's going to happen between Osric and Ursula?"

"I can hardly wait to find out myself," Chris beamed.

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I vote for Mondo. I don't feel comfortable with someone as big a threat as him havin' extra protection on top of that.

 **Mondo:** I vote for Cordelia. She's a weak link and, for someone who claims to love making friends, she sure hasn't spoken that much to me.

 **Cordelia:** I vote for Amelie because I hate her and she's getting in the way of me and Ephry.

 **Tori:** Getting rid of Mondo's statue should prove to me an effective game move, so I vote for him.

 **Hugh:** I swear, if Cordelia doesn't go tonight, I'm going to flip my lid. ...I totally am.

 **Quentin:** Mondo, this is for Kelsey. Nothing personal. Or is that personal? I don't know.

 **Amelie:** I don't know why Cordelia hates me so much, but it's better to get rid of someone I know wants me gone than someone I think wants me gone... right? I vote for Cordelia.

 **Jasper:** Eh, screw it, Cordy's useless to me by this point, so if she's a target then I might as well get rid of her.

 **Ephraim:** Amelie wants to vote for Cordelia, Cordelia wants to vote for Amelie... I'd hate to pick between friends and casting a hinky vote might ruffle some feathers that I'd rather not ruffle, so I'll just vote for myself. I'm pretty sure I'm not a target.

* * *

 _A/N: Cordelia actually changed quite a bit from how I'd originally planned her to be. She was originally going to be more calculating and intentionally manipulative rather than childish and unintentionally manipulative, though she was always going to try to befriend people to get them on her side. In the end I figured that with Genesis, Jasper, and Zarardo, I had enough contestants who play underhandedly despite a friendly exterior, so I made Cordelia a bit more naive to her more negative side to compensate for it. This is also the farthest Cordelia was ever planned to go; in most drafts of the boot order she would have gone much earlier and possibly even first, but in the end I decided I should keep her around a bit longer to try and flesh out her plot a bit more, so to anyone who's disappointed that she's gone, well, it could have been worse._


	10. Ep 09: The Sumo of its Parts

_A/N: I really need to stop being so useless and update my fics more often. That's college life for ya._

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, Lindsay hosted a challenge for a change. And it was awful," Chris recapped, only for Lindsay to activate his shock collar. "Awful...ly great!"

"I had the contestants set up a super cute date for two of their teammates," Lindsay clarified. "Cordelia and Ephraim enjoyed a candlelight dinner atop the thousand-foot cliff, while Osric and Ursula enjoyed a long walk on the beach."

"And nobody got even remotely hurt," Chris sulked.

"You say that like it's a bad thing!" Lindsay gasped.

"You say that like it's _not_ a bad thing," Chris responded.

"Anyway, Osric and Ursula won the challenge, which is great because I think Ursula might like Osric after all!" Lindsay cheered.

"Only Osric said it'd be best if they just remained friends," Chris pointed out.

Lindsay's lip quivered.

"Stop that," Chris said flatly. "Anyway, the Quentin/Tori/Vardaman duo worked to get Mondo's statue out of the equation, but nobody would hear it, as Amelie and Cordelia were both considered for elimination due to being weak. In the end, it was Cordelia who ended up getting the boot."

"She always creeped me out," Lindsay shuddered.

"I know. It was great," Chris laughed. "Anyway, today's a new day, and new events are bound to unfold. What kind of events? Find out, right here, on Total!"

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

Amelie sat across from Jasper in the mess hall. Both had a plate of eggs and toast.

"Morning, Jasper," Amelie greeted with a slightly nervous smile.

"Morning, hun," Jasper responded.

"So... Cordelia's gone," Amelie pointed out.

"And thank Gay Jesus for it," Jasper added.

"I thought you two were friends," Amelie pointed out. "Also, Gay Jesus?"

"She and I _were_ friends, but, as I'm sure I've told you before, she was starting to get on my nerves," Jasper explained. "And yes, there's a Gay Jesus. He died for our right to be fabulous."

"So, what are you going to do now that Cordelia's gone?" Amelie asked.

"Well, I was thinking you and I should form a little something-something," Jasper grinned. "Now that I have no allies, I'm a sitting duck. With you and maybe Ephraim on my side, I'll have some security. At least more than Mondo and Hugh have."

"That'd be nice," Amelie smiled. "Nobody can blindside me if I have two trusted allies."

"I'm a bit worried about Vardaman's alliance, but I'm sure we can figure something out," Jasper added. "You think Ephraim will be onboard?"

"I don't know," Amelie admitted. "I know he's been hanging out with Mondo these days, so maybe he'd rather join Mondo for the sake of numbers."

"Well, who says you can't play two alliances?" Jasper asked. "You and Ephraim, plus Mondo's alliance, plus me, equals taking out Vardaman's alliance. After that, you two ditch Mondo and Hugh and the three of us figure it out from there."

"I don't think the teams will be around for that long," Amelie pointed out. "Unless we lose every challenge from here on out. Also Mondo and Quentin both have Invincibility Statues."

"Ah, good point," Jasper conceded. "Like I said, we can discuss it later."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** I'm not in a good position right now. Maybe messing with Vardaman wasn't the best idea. Whatever. I can still make it out of this alive. I'm the smartest person on this team, maybe even in this game.

 **Amelie:** I don't know, playing two alliances sounds really risky. What if Mondo finds out, gets angry, and votes me out? That wouldn't be good at all...

* * *

Osric found Naomi skating about the forest.

"Hey, Naomi?" Osric said.

"Wha?!" Naomi gasped as she slammed into a tree. "Heeeeeey, Ozzy. You startled me."

"Sorry about that. I just wanted to talk," Osric said. "How close are you with Ursula?"

"We get along... kind of. She's pretty scary," Naomi admitted. "Why? What's up?"

"Well, since the three of us are in a final three deal-"

"Wait, whaaaaaaaaa? When did _that_ happen?" Naomi asked.

"A couple days ago. Did Ursula not tell you?" Osric asked. "Anyway, that's not why I'm here."

"Did you guys get together? Please tell me you did. I have ten bucks riding on this," Naomi told him.

"We didn't," Osric answered.

"Fudgesicles!" Naomi swore. "Pardon my French. Please, continue."

"Actually, it is about my date with Ursula last night," Osric explained. "When Lindsay suggested that she and I kiss, Ursula seemed almost... nervous. Maybe even a bit afraid, ironically enough. Is there some deep-rooted meaning behind this that only girls know about?"

"You sure she was nervous?" Naomi asked. "You sure she just didn't want to kiss you?"

"I mean, I can understand not being into me, but we'd had a nice time and it was for the challenge... I'm just confused," Osric continued.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmm... I _think_ I might know the answer, but I can't tell you what it is," Naomi said. "Gotta adhere to the Girl Code."

"Aw, come on," Osric frowned.

"If you want to know, you should ask her," Naomi shrugged.

"I don't want to make her uncomfortable by bringing it up," Osric explained.

"Just pretend she's me," Naomi suggested.

"You two look nothing alike though," Osric pointed out.

"Well I don't know what to tell you," Naomi shrugged as she skated off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** I know how Ursula's feeling. It's the same feeling I get when I think about kissing Vardaman... _(She blushes profusely.)_ Yeah, Ursula's got it bad for Osric. Those two need to hook up, but I have to adhere to awful romance cliches by saying that they need to do it themselves. Okay, not really, but I don't want Warwick accusing me of cheating on our bet. He's a future king! Do you know how much power kings have?!

 **Osric:** Maybe I'll ask Ursula tomorrow. I dunno. To be honest, I'm really nervous about the whole idea of being in a relationship. Yeah, I can be kind of a pervert, and although Ursula checks a number of boxes on my... interests list... I feel a real emotional connection with her too. This is so new to me. It's weird.

* * *

Ephraim and Mondo had just finished their lap around the island.

"I'm glad I got into this habit," Ephraim smiled. "I was afraid I wouldn't be able to keep up on my workouts, challenges notwithstanding, but this is helpful."

"It'll come in extra handy once we make the merge and need to start winning all the challenges," Mondo smirked.

"Assuming either of us make it," Ephraim pointed out. "Actually, I wanted to work out alongside Tori, but she insisted that she worked alone. You know, despite hanging out with Isidora at the start of the game and Quentin now."

"I bet she's just jealous that you might be stronger than she is," Mondo remarked.

"I want to doubt that, but I actually don't know a lot about her," Ephraim said. "She tends to keep to herself, and even when she is around, she doesn't talk much. So for all I know, maybe that's exactly why she won't work out with me."

"Ah, she doesn't matter," Mondo said dismissively. "She'll be gone before the merge."

"I take it you have a plan?" Ephraim inquired.

"I do," Mondo smirked. "You and Amelie join up with Hugh and me. Four strong. First thing's first, we take out Jasper. He could join them and I don't need that."

"He could join us as well. I know Amelie is friends with him," Ephraim pointed out.

"I don't need any distractions in this game," Mondo said sternly. "Anyway, after he's gone, we vote for Tori. Vardaman will come after, and then we take advantage of Quentin's idol to blindside Hugh. If we haven't hit the merge by then, we can take out Quentin."

"This is assuming we keep losing challenges, of course," Ephraim pointed out. "For all we know, we could win every challenge up to the merge."

"The merge will likely be at the final ten or twelve," Mondo said. "We're at the final seventeen. Maybe we'll lose one or two challenges until then, but don't forget, we're the overall physically stronger team."

"And yet, the Boldface have more people on their team than we do," Ephraim pointed out.

"We'll come around. I'm sure of it," Mondo smirked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ephraim:** Mondo's nothing if not confident. Perhaps to the point of cockiness, but he has a plan at the very least, so that's good. I think an alliance with him is a great idea.

 **Mondo:** All this plan in mind, plus I have a hidden statue. I know what they say about pride before a fall, but I feel I have every right to say that I have every confidence that I'll make the endgame. Of course, I can't allow Ephraim to stick around for very long once we do hit the merge. Lest he forget, he's also a challenge threat. In fact, I may even get rid of him before Quentin if need be. I doubt Quentin would mind working with me, even if he and I aren't necessarily close.

* * *

Phoenix and Zarardo were in the process of fixing breakfast.

"I have thought about your offer, Phoenix," Zarardo said as he looked behind him to make sure nobody was there to hear him.

"My alliance offer?" Phoenix asked. "I assume you're in. Otherwise you wouldn't really be bringing it up."

"I am," Zarardo nodded. "On the contingency that we vote for Fauna next."

"I can do that," Phoenix nodded. "Actually, I haven't talked to Isidora about the whole thing yet, but given how much Fauna's had it out for her in the past, I don't think it'll be hard to convince her."

"I'll mention the idea to her as well," Zarardo said. "Hearing it from two sides should confirm for her that this is for real."

"Go for it," Phoenix said. "Glad to have you onboard. The only downside here is that Fauna won't be going home right away, but at the very least there's no way she'll vote for either of us."

"Perhaps not, but his Majesty Warwick is, and I can't risk his safety," Zarardo pointed out.

"I'll talk to Fauna about it. She has no idea about this plan and still trusts me," Phoenix assured him. "I'm sure we can afford to lose Naomi, so maybe I'll drop a suggestion or two Fauna's way."

"That works for me," Zarardo grinned. "Someone who refuses to take off her roller skates for a challenge where they may be a hindrance isn't someone who should stick around."

"Glad to hear we see eye to eye here," Phoenix clicked. "I see a future with this alliance, I really do."

"To the final four we go!" Zarardo agreed.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. An alliance of four isn't likely to make the end of the merge without casualties, especially not with a cast as large as this one," Phoenix said logically.

"You sure do think of everything, don't you?" Zarardo complimented.

"It certainly helps in a game like this," Phoenix nodded.

"That, it does," Zarardo responded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** ...Which is exactly why Phoenix should watch his back around me. I don't know if he knows this, but with my joining this alliance, I am now in an alliance with everyone on this team other than Fauna. Hahaha. I don't need Phoenix. _He_ needs _me_. Why, I'm already aligned with Osric and Isidora. I will vote with this alliance to help take out Fauna, but that is it. After that, well, Phoenix might be useful for information, but for little else, and I can easily have him disappear once I decide that he is no longer useful.

 **Phoenix:** An emotional person might feel discouraged that his Day One ally is hated by the rest of the team and has a huge target on her back. A logical person would make the most of the situation. If you can't beat them, join them. Thankfully, I am the latter of the two.

* * *

Tori did chin-ups on a tree in the forest when she heard footsteps behind her.

"Quentin. I'm glad you came," Tori smiled as she turned around to see not Quentin, but Vardaman.

"Er, you got the wrong guy, I'm afraid," Vardaman admitted.

"I see," Tori said, slightly disappointed. "What is your purpose in seeing me?"

"I just wanted to get to know you," Vardaman said. "We're friends and allies but I don't feel like I know that much about who you are."

"My goal is to become the strongest woman in the world. Total Drama is one means through which I can attain this goal," Tori explained.

"Can I ask why you keep to yourself so often?" Vardaman asked.

"So people don't get in the way of my workouts," Tori said simply.

"And why do you wanna get so strong?" Vardaman asked.

"That is my business and my business alone," Tori said firmly. "I am not so quick to tell people about my personal scars."

"Scars, you say?" Vardaman asked. "Well, if you don't wanna tell me, that's perfectly fine. I guess a bit of skepticism is healthy. It's what kept me away from Cordelia n' Jasper, n' I don't regret leavin' them behind for an instant."

"The world is full of bad people. That's a simple truth," Tori said seriously.

"Maybe, but there are some genuinely good people on this Earth as well," Vardaman said.

"That is true, though are few and far between," Tori said. "In all my years, Quentin may be the most genuine person I've ever met."

"He's a bit loopy sometimes, but he's a good kid," Vardaman agreed. "I'm glad you two are friends. Good example of opposites attractin'."

"Who said anything about attraction?" Tori asked quickly.

"It's a figure o' speech," Vardaman assured her. "Y'know, despite not wantin' to talk about yourself a lot, I've learned a lot about you in these past couple minutes."

"Don't take this to mean that I trust you entirely," Tori said bluntly.

"I won't, but it was a nice talk either way," Vardaman smiled as he walked off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Y'know, when I mentioned opposites attractin', I meant it in a friendly-type way, but now that I think about it, I can see Tori n' Quentin' bein' more than just friends. Hopefully things'd work out. I ain't qualified to fix a broken heart yet.

 **Tori:** I suppose I haven't mentioned my personal scars until now. Nothing physical, but rather something in my past that has stuck with me. I'd rather not elaborate.

* * *

Fauna stomped up to the top of the thousand-foot cliff, where Warwick was.

"Ah, good morrow, crone," Warwick greeted.

"I heard you think I'm a joke!" Fauna said accusatorily.

"Your point?" Warwick asked.

"So you won't care if I rant about how awful you whites are, and you won't even care?" Fauna asked.

"Har! Please!" Warwick scoffed. "I would only laugh at your perceived superiority."

"Good, because I need to get some shit off my chest," Fauna said as she took a piece of paper from her pocket.

"Ahahahaha! You're serious?!" Warwick guffawed.

"This is exactly what I'm talking about!" Fauna snapped as she began to read. "White people think they're so much better than people of color! Every day, they silence us, they say racist things, they give off microaggressions, and it never even _occurs_ to them to check their privilege!"

"Because that totally happens," Warwick snickered.

"Meanwhile, people of color spend more time in prison than a white person for the same crime!" Fauna continued. "It's harder for people of color to get hired than white people. Nobody will dare cross the street to avoid a white person, but a person of color is perfectly okay! And people act like nothing's wrong!"

"Nothing _is_ wrong. Except for you," Warwick responded. "When I'm king, I'll ban racism from my country."

"How are you going to ban racism in a country ruled by white people, dumbass?" Fauna scowled.

"Also, you're not allowed into my kingdom," Warwick added.

"Oh, because I'm a person of color?! I see how it is!" Fauna shouted.

"Heheheh. Yes, that's exactly why," Warwick chuckled sarcastically. "I'm banning you from my country where racism is illegal because you're not white. I'm surprised more people didn't figure it out sooner."

"That's because everyone else is blind to the truth around them!" Fauna insisted.

Warwick pushed Fauna off the cliff.

"This clifftop is my temporary kingdom," Warwick said. "And you're not invited."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fauna:** _(She is soaking wet, and simmering mad.)_

 **Warwick:** Who cares if it was mean? She's been mean to everyone all season and hasn't received any sort of karma. Excuse me for putting karma into my own hands. I may not claim to be a god like that sandwich twit, but pushing Fauna off the cliff was fun either way. Hahaha.

* * *

Hugh found Quentin sitting on his bunk in the boys' cabin, spaced out.

"Yo, Earth to Quentin," Hugh said.

"Wha- Wha?" Quentin responded, now out of his daze. "What's up?"

"Nothing's up. I just felt like destroying whatever daydream you were having," Hugh snickered.

"Oh. I was just wondering if birds can comprehend the feeling of closeness with one another," Quentin replied.

"I doubt it. They're animals. Animals don't have souls," Hugh pointed out.

"But then how do they know who to mate with?" Quentin asked.

"Animal instinct? I dunno," Hugh replied.

"So then why do we only mate with those we truly love?" Quentin asked.

"Uh, I don't know what world you live in, but people have sex with strangers all the time," Hugh pointed out. "Lots of people just bang whoever they find attractive. That's our animal instinct kicking in."

"Really? I wonder what birds find attractive in each other," Quentin mused.

"Hell if I know," Hugh responded.

"Like, does beak size matter to them?" Quentin asked. "Feather color? Wingspan?"

"This is getting weird," Hugh spat. "Ask a furry sometime, because I sure as hell don't care."

"Perhaps birds have personalities that we don't know about," Quentin thought aloud. "Like, some birds are attracted to nice birds, and stuff."

"Heh. Please," Hugh scoffed. "Girls only like bad boys, no matter what species they are."

"Really?" Quentin asked. "Well I like to think I'm a nice enough guy. I guess that means there's no hope for me in that regard, eh?"

"Nope, guess not," Hugh grinned.

"That's too bad," Quentin said. "Well, see you later," he said as he stood up and left the cabin.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** I don't know what Quentin is on, but I doubt it's legal.

 **Quentin:** I wonder if it's true that girls only like bad boys. But if that were true, how did my dad end up with my mom? I should ask Hugh sometime. He seems like he knows what he's talking about.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the girl's cabin, Genesis and Ursula hung out.

"So, now that you went out on a date with him, what do you think about your feelings for Osric now?" Genesis texted with a coy smile.

"I-I don't know," Ursula admitted. "When Lindsay said I should kiss him, I thought I could do it, but just as I was about to, all of a sudden this rush of fear came over me."

"Fear?" Genesis texted. "Fear of what?"

"I don't know. Fear of messing it up, I guess," Ursula admitted. "I don't think Osric's even been kissed before. I didn't want his first kiss to be awful."

"How would he know it was awful? He'd have nothing to compare it to," Genesis texted.

"Well... uh..." Ursula trailed off.

"There's more to it than that, isn't there?" Genesis texted with a smile. "You can tell me."

"Alright..." Ursula sighed. "I kinda maybe possibly might like Osric. Like _like_ like him."

"You just used the word 'like' three times in a row in that sentence," Genesis texted as she chuckled silently. "Anyway, it's obvious that Osric likes you. What do you have to be nervous about?"

"Well... I'm worried that I might be a bit immature for him," Ursula admitted. "During the date, we talked about Halloween, and some of the stuff I mentioned may have been a bit childish. That plus my last boyfriend dumping me for being 'immature'... can you blame me for being a bit insecure?"

"Not at all," Genesis texted with a sweet smile on her face. "Did you get any sense that Osric might not like you anymore after you said what you said?"

"I don't think so..." Ursula recalled.

"Then I think you two still have a shot," Genesis texted.

"You think?" Ursula blushed. "...I'll wait for him to make the first move. I don't want to be too presumptuous and embarrass myself."

"I'm surprised to see you're so bashful considering you're the girl who likes to scare people," Genesis texted with a smile.

"I know, right? What is wrong with me?" Ursula chuckled. "Maybe I'll mess with Fauna or Naomi or Amelie or someone to pass the time."

"Go for it," Genesis texted.

"Thanks for the help, Genesis. You're a true friend," Ursula said casually as she walked out of the cabin.

Once Ursula left, a sinister look crept upon Genesis's face.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** I came into this game to scare the pants off of people and maybe win a million dollars. Falling for a guy was not on the to-do list... but honestly, if things do work out between Osric and I, I wouldn't regret it.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ One step closer to fulfilling my plan to put the target on those two. One may say it's foolish to throw members of your own alliance under the bus, but between my statue and Fauna's, I don't see anyone making a dent in the me/Fauna/Phoenix alliance anytime soon, plus I still have Naomi under my thumb. Heck, even if they take their time to get together, I still have a majority over Warwick's alliance. So I'm basically untouchable.

* * *

Hugh found Amelie sitting on the Dock of Shame.

"Hey, slut," Hugh greeted.

Amelie wore a hurt look on her face.

"What, got nothing to say to me now?" Hugh sneered. "Not gonna, not gonna point out how _nice_ you think I am?"

Amelie pursed her lips.

"Well here's the thing, bitch: I'm not nice," Hugh said harshly. "I hope you don't expect to find out about how I used to be a good kid either, because I wasn't. I'm bad, and I've always been bad."

Amelie was silent.

"What, have I scared the words right out of you?" Hugh said mockingly. "Have I finally put you in your place, bitch?"

Amelie put her hand over her mouth.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Hugh grinned. "So before you go around thinking that I'm nice, well-"

All of a sudden, Amelie began giggling.

"Wait, what?" Hugh asked flatly.

"I'm sorry. I tried to hold it in," Amelie giggled.

"What the hell is this?!" Hugh snapped. "Do you think I'm funny? Does this strike you as amusing?"

Amelie nodded as she tried not to continue laughing.

"Yeah... well... you're an artard!" Hugh shouted as he walked away, simmering.

"You are too," Amelie giggled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I don't know where that came from, but it felt good not to be so worried about Hugh. I should try that more often, huh? ...Okay, I would if I could, but I can't help being such a coward. Still, Hugh is a start.

 **Hugh:** What the hell?! Not even Amelie takes me seriously anymore?! There was a time in this game where people saw me as the threat I am, and now I have the most spineless wimp on the island laughing in my face. I need to do something about this. Enough talk! I'm going to _prove_ how bad I am. Ephraim's been giving her bravery lessons, right? Well, we'll see how tough she is without him around.

* * *

Phoenix found Isidora sitting on her reading rock with a book open.

"Isidora, can we speak?" Phoenix asked.

"Depends on what you want to talk about," Isidora said, not looking up from her book.

"It's about Fauna," Phoenix said.

"Oh geez. What is she doing now?" Isidora sighed.

"Well, I know you two don't get along very well, which is why I have a proposition," Phoenix explained.

"I'm listening," Isidora said, still reading her book.

"An alliance between you, Osric, Zarardo, and myself," Phoenix proposed. "We'll flush Fauna's statue, then get rid of Fauna as soon as we can. We should also be wary of Genesis. She seems to be in cahoots with Fauna, and I fear she can be dangerous down the line."

"Have you talked to Osric and Zarardo?" Isidora asked.

"I have, and they're both in. All we need now is you," Phoenix confirmed.

"Cool," Isidora said blankly. "So... you want to talk about something that's not strategy? I'm not in a super strategic mood today."

"Uhhhh..." Phoenix trailed off.

"You do realize that there's more to this game than strategy, yes?" Isidora asked.

"I do, but I've been so focused on getting this alliance together that I haven't been able to think of much else," Phoenix explained.

"Yeah, that sounds super unhealthy," Isidora pointed out. "What's your favorite book? We'll talk about that."

"I'm not much of a reader, I'm afraid," Phoenix admitted. "I think the last novel I read was assigned reading for English class."

"Then what do you do with your time?" Isidora asked.

"I mostly spend my time on the internet," Phoenix said. "I'm sure you noticed, but I'm a bit of a geek."

"Eh, who isn't these days?" Isidora shrugged.

Silence.

"Yeah, sorry, I'm not great at leading a conversation," Isidora apologized.

"That's fine. We can talk about you," Phoenix suggested.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** I appreciate Isidora bringing me back down to Earth a bit. I'll admit, I've been a bit obsessed with getting this plan to work, so this might just be what I needed.

 **Isidora:** An alliance with Osric, Zarardo, and Phoenix, eh? Not that different from the alliance I already have, other than the fact that it's way less loud and annoying. I'm still not sure how much I trust Zarardo, but having two more people who won't vote me off is helpful I guess.

* * *

Quentin found Tori working out in the woods.

"Good morrow, Lady Victoria," Quentin greeted.

"Pardon?" Tori responded.

"I dunno," Quentin chuckled.

"I have been awaiting you," Tori said. "You said you would join me in my workouts, and yet I have been here for hours without you."

"Yeah... I kinda forgot," Quentin confessed. "Sorry about that. But hey, I'm here now."

"I'm afraid it's about time for me to take a break," Tori responded. "Even I cannot work out without breaks."

"I guess that makes sense," Quentin thought aloud. "Hey, you're not upset that I forgot about this, are you?"

"Emotions are irrelevant. All that matters in life is strength," Tori responded.

"Why do you say that?" Quentin asked.

"I'd rather not talk about it," Tori responded.

"Is there an emotional reason for that?" Quentin asked innocently.

Tori balled her fists up. "I will be returning to camp to use the restroom."

"Oh, okay. I guess I can't really follow you in, but I can walk you there," Quentin offered.

"I'd rather you didn't," Tori said firmly.

"Oh... okay," Quentin said, slightly disappointed. "...See you later, then,"

Tori walked away.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Quentin:** I don't think it's good for Tori to hold her emotions in like that. Maybe once I catch her in a better mood I'll try to get her to explain why she thinks strength is all that matters, because I'm really concerned about her.

 **Tori:** Yes, it hurt my feelings that Quentin forgot about our morning workout. This is what confessionals are for: getting your emotions off of your chest without judgment.

* * *

Naomi continued to skate through the forest.

" _La di da di da di da~_ " Naomi sang.

"Boo!" Ursula shouted as she jumped out from behind a tree.

"ACK!" Naomi squealed as she slipped and fell on her face.

"Hahahaha," Ursula laughed. "You okay?"

"Honestly, not the worst tumble I've taken this summer," Naomi admitted. "But definitely the worst scare. Geez."

Ursula helped Naomi get back onto her feet. "No hard feelings, eh?"

"Why _do_ you scare people so much?" Naomi asked.

"For fun," Ursula shrugged.

"I'll never understand what Osric sees in you..." Naomi muttered.

"What was that?" Ursula asked.

"Nothing," Naomi insisted.

"I heard Osric's name," Ursula said.

"I was just wondering if you knew about our final three deal with him," Naomi lied.

"Is that really it?" Ursula asked with a glare.

"...I can't tell you the truth. Warwick will accuse me of cheating," Naomi squeaked.

"Cheating?" Ursula asked, her eyebrow raised.

"We made a bet. No need to elaborate," Naomi said with a nervous chuckle.

"I know where you sleep," Ursula hissed.

"Warwick bet me that you and Osric wouldn't hook up and I took the bet and I don't want to fudge the results by telling you that Osric still likes you!" Naomi confessed in one breath, inhaling sharply after she was done. "Don't tell Warwick I told you."

"He still likes me, huh...?" Ursula said, blushing. "You know, since you told me, I'll see what I can do to scare the crap out of Warwick. Maybe even literally. Eheheheheh."

Naomi gave Ursula an awkward smile.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** Osric's still into me, eh? Interesting... I may have to make a move sooner than later.

 **Naomi:** Osric has weird taste in women.

* * *

The seventeen contestants, plus Chris and Lindsay, all met up inside the plastic dodgeball court. The usual two-sided court lines had been replaced with a medium-sized ring line in the center.

"Welcome, campers, to your next challenge!" Chris greeted. "As you may have guessed, today's challenge will be more athletically inclined."

"Fun," Genesis texted with an unimpressed look on her face.

"It _will_ be fun," Chris grinned. "Today's challenge: ...a sumo tournament!"

"This should be easy," Mondo smirked.

"Here's how it'll work," Chris said. "First thing's first: Killer Boldface, since you guys have one more player than Screaming Italics, one of you will have to sit out."

"Cool," Isidora said uninterestedly.

"Also, Isidora, since you were the last person on your team to sit out of a challenge, you can't sit out of this one," Chris added.

"What?! What about the talent show?" Isidora asked.

"We're not counting that. Some people just couldn't participate in that one because that was part of the challenge," Chris shrugged.

"I think Naomi should sit out," Zarardo suggested. "Skates will not be very helpful in a challenge such as this."

"Aww," Naomi pouted. "Fine."

"Alright. Naomi's sitting out," Chris confirmed. "Now then. This challenge will work in classic tournament fashion. We will start out with eight rounds of a Screaming Italics member facing a Killer Boldface member. The goal of the challenge is to push your opponent out of the ring. The winners of those rounds will move on to face each other, and so on and so forth. The team whose members all lose will be up for elimination."

"What if all of a team's members lose before the final round?" Vardaman asked.

"The tournament will continue, and I will explain why," Chris continued. "Today's challenge has a reward at stake. The person who comes out on top in this challenge will be able to take two people with them to a nearby grocery store. Each person who goes on this reward will be given $100 to spend on whatever they want to take back to the island."

"Only for the street rats to steal it, I'd imagine," Warwick grumbled.

"Who cares? It's something besides eggs and toast," Jasper pointed out.

"Okay, so, we're going in reverse alphabet order this time just because," Lindsay said. "Which means... Vardaman and Zarardo are up first!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I don't expect to last very long in this challenge. Actually I don't expect to last long in any challenge, but this one in particular stands out to me.

 **Osric:** This one seems biased in the Italics' favor, but I actually think we may be able to pull this one off. Strength isn't everything in sumo. Balance and shifting weight are also key. ...I think. I'm no expert.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I think this challenge is doable. It all depends on who goes up against whom. I, for one, am not giving up till the very end.

 **Ephraim:** Between myself, Mondo, Tori, and Vardaman, I like to think we have this challenge won.

 **Tori:** They use the word "challenge" rather loosely with this one, don't they? _(She gives a cocky smile.)_

 **Hugh:** Yeah. This is the chance to prove how bad I am. I'll kick everyone's ass in this challenge, and _prove_ that I'm not to be messed with.

* * *

Vardaman and Zarardo stood in the center of the ring.

"You two ready?" Lindsay asked.

"Ready, ma'am," Vardaman nodded.

"I am always ready," Zarardo boasted.

"Go!" Chris shouted.

As soon as Chris signaled to go, Zarardo crouched down and began to push Vardaman by the waist.

"What in tarnation?!" Vardaman gasped, unable to react.

Zarardo pushed Vardaman with all his might. Vardaman struggled to free himself from his opponent's grasp, but to no avail. Little by little, Zarardo managed to push Vardaman closer to the edge of the ring.

"And for my next trick, I'll make Vardaman's chances of winning this challenge... disappear!" Zarardo declared as he finally pushed Vardaman over the boundary line.

"And Zarardo moves on!" Chris announced.

"Next on the list is Tori and Warwick!" Lindsay announced.

Warwick gulped at this news.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I work hard every mornin' back at the farm, and I still got beat. How about that?

* * *

Tori and Warwick took the center of the sumo ring.

"Ready?" Lindsay asked.

"Of course," Tori nodded.

"If I say 'no', will you postpone it?" Warwick shuddered.

"Nope! Go!" Chris grinned.

Warwick tried to grab Tori by the waist as Zarardo had done with Vardaman, but was cut off when Tori grabbed him by the cape and lifted him up.

"Oh come on! I weigh 90 kilos!" Warwick whined. "How are you able to lift me?!"

Tori did not respond - instead she opted to carry Warwick over the line and set him down.

"And with that, Tori moves on to the next round!" Chris announced.

"Nice going, Tori!" Quentin cheered.

Tori remained silent.

"Next to go is Quentin and Ursula," Lindsay stated.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Well, you can't fault me for trying. Considering she's one of the strongest people out here, I'd say that's worth something.

* * *

Quentin and Ursula took the center of the ring.

"You guys ready?" Lindsay asked.

"Let's go," Ursula grinned as she punched into her palm.

"What she said," Quentin said as he mimicked her gesture.

"Go!" Chris shouted.

Both Quentin and Ursula went for the waist at the same time, prompting them to grab onto each other's shoulders.

"Come on, at least take me out on a date first," Ursula teased.

"...I don't know what you think this means, but I'm only doing a challenge," Quentin said awkwardly.

"I know. Me too," Ursula grinned as she gave Quentin a hard shove, prompting him to let go of her and stumble backwards.

"I'll have you know I've got my eye on someone else," Ursula said as she gave Quentin one last push to send him on his bum and over the line.

"Ursula moves on!" Chris announced.

"That's what's up!" Ursula cheered.

"Mondo and Phoenix are up next," Lindsay added.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Quentin:** So much for good luck, huh? I wonder what the deal is here. Did Tori steal my good luck? How bizarre.

* * *

Mondo and Phoenix stood at the center of the sumo ring.

"You two ready?" Lindsay asked.

"Jock vs nerd, eh?" Mondo pointed out.

"I'm ready to change the dynamic here," Phoenix said confidently.

"Go!" Chris shouted.

Phoenix immediately sidestepped to his right and gave Mondo a shove, causing the football player to lose his balance.

"What in the world?" Mondo asked as he quickly regained his balance.

"It's called tactics," Phoenix said.

Mondo charged at Phoenix, who quickly dodged out of the way. Mondo's momentum proved to be too much, however, and he ended up running straight over the line.

"Mondo is out, Phoenix moves on!" Chris announced.

"I told you I'd change the dynamic," Phoenix smirked.

"You got lucky," Mondo grumbled.

"Up next are Jasper and Osric!" Lindsay announced.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mondo:** I'll never hear the end of this back home, will I?

* * *

Jasper and Osric took the to center of the ring.

"Don't be afraid to get a little frisky~" Jasper winked.

"You're not a fly honey, so I'm afraid you'll have to find someone else," Osric said coolly.

"...Fly honey?" Ursula said in disbelief.

"That's AAVE and cultural appropriation and I won't stand for it!" Fauna shouted.

"Get a life, Fauna," Ursula responded.

"You two ready?" Lindsay asked Jasper and Osric.

"Always," Jasper winked.

"Tentatively," Osric answered flatly.

"Go!" Chris shouted.

Neither boy went on the offensive - both awaited their opponent to make the first move. They moved around in a circle, not breaking eye contact with the other. Jasper faked Osric out, but Osric did not respond. After a couple more seconds, Osric lunged at Jasper, catching the blond off guard and resulting in him stumbling over the line.

"Osric wins it!" Chris announced.

"Awesome," Osric grinned.

"Next up are Hugh and Isidora," Lindsay stated.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** Ah well, can't win them all. It's not like our team is tapped for physical strength anyway.

* * *

Hugh and Isidora went to the center of the ring.

"Ready?" Lindsay asked.

"Let's do this," Hugh said with a twisted smirk.

"Whatever," Isidora said.

"Go!" Chris shouted.

Isidora turned around and walked out of the ring.

"Okay then... Hugh wins this round... I guess," Chris announced.

"Heh. Guess she was just _too_ intimidated," Hugh snickered unconvincingly.

"Next to go are Ephraim and Genesis," Lindsay said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** There's no way I was going to win, and I'm not really in the mood to have anemia symptoms ruining my day for no reason, so... yeah.

* * *

Ephraim and Genesis took the the center of the ring. Genesis did not have her phone on hand.

"Ready?" Lindsay asked.

"Ready," Ephraim responded as he cracked his knuckles.

Genesis simply took a deep breath.

"Go!" Chris shouted.

Ephraim picked Genesis up and set her down outside of the ring. Genesis sighed silently.

"I swear, these rounds are getting too easy..." Chris grumbled. "Anyway... Ephraim moves on to the next round."

"No hard feelings?" Ephraim asked Genesis, who shook her head "no" in response.

"To finish off this round, we have Amelie vs. Fauna!" Lindsay announced.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ A shame I had to go against Ephraim given that I think I could have moved on had I gone against someone weaker, but I guess that's the alphabet twist for you. I hope the Italics eliminate Ephraim soon because I'd rather not keep facing off with him in the future.

* * *

Amelie and Fauna stood in the center of the ring.

"You girls ready?" Lindsay asked.

"...No," Amelie gulped.

"Let's get this over with," Fauna responded.

"Go!" Chris shouted.

Amelie instantly curled up into a ball.

"Stop giving people of color a bad name by being so scared of everything," Fauna instructed.

"Sorry," Amelie squeaked.

Fauna rolled Amelie outside of the line.

"Fauna makes it, closing off our first round!" Chris announced.

"For the POC!" Fauna announced.

"Next up is Zarardo and Tori!" Lindsay announced.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Come to think of it, it's been awhile since I've had a bravery lesson from Ephraim. Maybe I should try those again...

* * *

Zarardo and Tori took to the center of the ring.

"Ready?" Lindsay asked.

"I am," Zarardo said confidently.

"As am I," Tori nodded.

"In that case... GO!" Chris shouted.

Tori immediately grabbed Zarardo by the shoulders, preventing him from pushing her by the waist. Zarardo grabbed onto her arms in an attempt to push her off, but this was in vain, as Tori did not budge. She began to push her foe, who pushed as hard as he could in return.

"You're stronger than you look," Tori pointed out.

"I am many things," Zarardo bragged. "It's best not to underestimate your opponent."

"Noted," Tori said as she pulled her arms back, causing Zarardo to fall forward. "You should make the same note."

Zarardo snarled as he stood back up, only for Tori to push him over the line.

"Tori moves on!" Chris announced.

"And next up is Ursula and Phoenix," Lindsay added.

"Next up _are_ Ursula and Phoenix," Phoenix corrected.

Lindsay frowned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** I shouldn't be so bitter at losing to one of the strongest people on the island, and yet, I can't help myself. I shan't forget this.

* * *

Ursula and Phoenix went to the center of the ring.

"Ready?" Lindsay asked.

"Looks like the Boldface are taking a loss either way," Phoenix noted.

"And a win. Don't be so negative," Ursula grinned.

"I can't argue there," Phoenix nodded.

"Go!" Chris shouted.

Both contestants sidestepped to their right.

"I see you've been paying attention," Phoenix stated.

"Did you really think using the same trick twice would work? Frankly I'm offended," Ursula chuckled.

"I can never tell if you're joking or no-"

"Boo!" Ursula suddenly shouted.

"Gah!" Phoenix exclaimed, catching him off-guard. Ursula took this opportunity to push him over the ring line.

"And Ursula moves on once again," Chris announced.

"I can't believe that worked," Ursula chuckled.

"Well don't expect it to work twice, because now people will see it coming," Phoenix pointed out.

"Noted," Ursula grinned.

"Up next _are_ Osric and Hugh," Lindsay announced.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** Honestly, I'm glad I made it past the first round at all, and past Mondo at that, so you won't hear me complaining about my loss.

* * *

Osric and Hugh came to the center of the ring.

"You boys ready?" Lindsay asked.

"Yeah. Bring it on," Osric smiled.

"You're asking for it," Hugh grinned.

"Go!" Chris shouted.

Hugh immediately lunged at Osric, who moved out of the way. Hugh managed to stop himself before he could go over the line, but with his back facing Osric, it wasn't hard for the pervert to push him over the line.

"You're joking!" Hugh cried.

"Nope. Osric moves on!" Chris announced.

"I'm in the semifinals. Who would have thought?" Osric thought aloud.

"Next up are Ephraim and Fauna," Lindsay stated.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Ugh! So much for proving how bad I am. This challenge was rigged, I swear.

* * *

Ephraim and Fauna went to the center of the ring.

"Ready?" Chris asked.

"You're going down, whitey," Fauna leered.

"I wanted to feel sorry for how mismatched this round is, but you're making it difficult," Ephraim said sternly.

"Go!" Chris shouted.

Fauna immediately rammed her knee into Ephraim's crotch.

"Ooh!" Ephraim choked as he bent over.

"That's for how my people were treated when your people enslaved them!" Fauna shouted.

"How is that _my_ fault?" Ephraim wheezed.

Fauna pushed at Ephraim, but to little avail. He stood up just long enough to give Fauna a good push backward, resulting in her stumbling over the line.

"Ephraim moves on!" Chris announced.

"How typical of you white people to try and take away a POC's victory," Fauna scoffed.

"We're starting the semifinals, and Tori and Ursula are back up," Lindsay said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fauna:** Technically POC are still slaves to our white-dominated culture, but I doubt he'd understand that.

* * *

Tori and Ursula took to the center of the ring.

"Ready?" Lindsay asked.

"Let's do this," Ursula grinned.

Tori was silent.

"I'll take that as a yes from Tori. Go!" Chris shouted.

Ursula began to run in circles around Tori.

"You're only going to tire yourself out," Tori pointed out flatly.

"But it's keeping you from getting to me," Ursula pointed out as she pushed Tori from behind.

Tori then grabbed Ursula by the waist, picked her up, and set her down outside of the line.

"Aw come on," Ursula pouted.

"Tori moves on to the final round!" Chris announced. "Time to see who'll accompany her."

"It's gonna be Osric or Ephraim, because they're up next," Lindsay added.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** In retrospect, this challenge was kind of not in my favor. I'm like fifteen, no way I was going to win.

* * *

Osric and Ephraim went to the center of the ring.

"Ready?" Lindsay asked.

"As I'll ever be," Osric decided.

"There's no shame in giving up," Ephraim said politely.

"Go!" Chris shouted.

Ephraim picked Osric up and carried him to the edge, but as soon as Ephraim neared the edge, Osric jerked his body towards it, causing the bouncer to take a step or two forward.

"Ephraim's foot is over the line! Osric moves on to the final round!" Chris announced.

"Well played," Ephraim conceded as he set Osric down.

"Thanks. Even I wasn't sure that was going to work," Osric admitted.

"It's down to Tori and Osric," Lindsay announced. "One from each team. Whoever wins this will win the challenge for their team and the reward for themselves and two others."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ephraim:** I was hoping I could win the challenge so I could see if they had anything with more proteins and vitamins in it at the grocery store, but oh well. Maybe Tori or Osric will take me with them, who knows?

* * *

Tori and Osric took the the center of the center of the ring.

"Are you two ready?" Lindsay asked.

"I am," Tori confirmed.

"As am I," Osric added.

"In that case..." Chris started.

...

...

...

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...

"Go!"

Tori attempted to grab Osric, but he dodged out of the way.

"I can see you won't be as easy to defeat as your teammates," Tori noted.

"I should hope not. I made it this far for a reason, eh?" Osric pointed out as he dodged another of Tori's grapples. "But hey, whatever happens, no hard feelings."

"Why would there be?" Tori asked.

"Well, I'd imagine it'd be awkward for the world's strongest woman to be beaten by a scrawny guy like myself," Osric grinned.

"Is that your idea of trash talk?" Tori asked as she pushed Osric.

"Maybe," Osric smirked as he pushed Tori back.

The two both went for a push, causing them to grab each other by the hands.

"For the record, I am not yet the strongest woman in the world," Tori said sternly.

"Really? Not trying to be rude, but you could have fooled me," Osric responded.

"I will reach that status someday, but that day is not today," Tori stated.

"Well, good luck with that," Osric smiled.

"Good luck... I have all the luck I'll ever need," Tori muttered.

"What's that?" Osric asked.

"What I said is irrelevant," Tori said. "Because you've already lost."

"Wha?" Osric asked. He looked down at his feet to see that, during their conversation, Tori had slowly pushed him over the line.

"Tori and the Screaming Italics win!" Chris announced.

"Yeehaw!" Vardaman cheered.

"Cool," Amelie smiled.

"I could have done that," Hugh insisted.

"Awesome job, Tori," Quentin beamed.

"...Thanks," Tori said with a slight smile.

"Now then. Tori, it's time to pick who you want to bring with you to the grocery store," Chris said.

"Quentin and Vardaman," Tori answered.

"No surprise there," Chris mumbled. "Screaming Italics, you have the rest of the day off. Nice job. Killer Boldface, you'll be seeing me at elimination tonight, where one of you will leave the island."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mondo:** Guess that means no need to strategize tonight. I'm fine with that. A night off actually seems like a great idea right about now.

 **Tori:** I have decided to forgive Quentin for forgetting to spend the morning with me. It's not worth staying angry over, and it was an honest mistake.

 **Osric:** Well, time to put Phoenix's smart people alliance to the test. This could change the game.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I have no idea who the target is tonight, but with the connections I have, it shouldn't be hard to figure it out. No matter what happens, I'll be safe.

 **Warwick:** You'd think someone as... well-fed as myself would do better in a sumo challenge, but apparently not. I don't think lifting people is generally allowed in sumo, but then, since when does this show care about the rules?

 **Naomi:** I wonder how different things would have turned out if I got to play in the challenge. What could have been, right?

* * *

Phoenix, Osric, Isidora, and Zarardo met up in the forest.

"So what's the plan here?" Isidora asked.

"Here's the thing: I want Genesis gone, and the rest of you want Fauna gone," Phoenix said. "Sadly, neither of those options are viable, but I've thought of a compromise."

"And what would that be?" Zarardo asked.

"Osric, I want you to convince Ursula and Naomi to vote for Genesis. I will vote for her as well," Phoenix said.

"Okay?" Osric semi-agreed.

"Isidora, Zarardo, I want you to convince Warwick to vote for Fauna," Phoenix said.

"I think I see where this is going," Isidora said.

"Do tell," Zarardo smirked.

"Phoenix is trying to put Fauna and Genesis in the bottom, two, flushing both of their hidden statues," Isidora explained.

"Wouldn't that leave whoever goes entirely up to those two?" Osric pointed out.

"It would, and I understand that you'd be concerned, Osric, but those two still believe that I'm aligned with them," Phoenix explained. "I can sway their votes so that they aren't directed towards you or Isidora."

"Leaving only Naomi and Warwick as potential casualties," Zarardo added.

"I trust you're all fine with this," Phoenix said.

"Very much so," Isidora nodded.

"Of course," Zarardo smiled.

"Better one of them than me, I guess," Osric decided.

"Excellent," Phoenix smiled. "If things go our way tonight, then the four of us will run the team by tomorrow."

"In that case, may things go our way tonight and forevermore!" Zarardo declared.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** I'm putting my game on the line here. If this doesn't work, then I have little doubt that I'll become a target. It doesn't seem likely to fail, but you never want to feel too comfortable in this game.

 **Isidora:** And here I thought my poor social and physical games would screw me over. Now here I am, almost running the game. Lucky me.

 **Osric:** It'll be weird asking my alliance to turn on one of our own, but if I explain why we're voting for her, I'm sure they'll understand. Hopefully.

 **Zarardo:** _(He is playing with his Fushigi ball.)_ Phoenix seems quite content to put himself in the leadership position of this alliance which will supposedly run the team. Being aligned with Warwick, I am no stranger to being second fiddle, but Phoenix is making a grave error to underestimate me. But if he wishes to stay deceived as to who is really the smartest one here, then that is fine by me. It is a magician's job to deceive, after all, and it is quite beneficial for me that he stay this way.

* * *

Naomi and Ursula were in a different part of the forest.

"Where do you think everyone else is?" Naomi asked. "Isn't this where we normally meet for vote talk?""I dunno," Ursula said. "I guess it's better this way. I'm still not sure I'm ready to ask Osric out for real."

"Maybe it's better that you don't ask him out right before elimination," Naomi said. "He probably has a lot on his mind. He's the smart one of the alliance, after all. He's the one who comes up with all the strategies and stuff."

"Yeah. He's cool like that," Ursula said. "I wish I could be super strategical and stuff."

"Hey, no need to feel down on yourself. If everyone was smart, then we'd never stop arguing about who's right and who's wrong and it'd be a mess," Naomi said. "That's why I'm glad I'm not too bright."

"Huh. I've never thought about it that way," Ursula admitted. "I'm not dumb per se, but I'm not exactly a straight A student either... or straight B, for that matter... you sure Osric likes me?"

"I'm sure. He talked to me about your date this morning," Naomi winked.

"Hey, maybe I'll come up with a strategy to impress him," Ursula suggested. "Let's see... what if we blindside Isidora? No one will see it coming."

"Isidora? Sure," Naomi smiled. "Osric's going to be so impressed."

"Please," Ursula blushed. "It's not even that great of a strategy."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** I'll tell Osric about it as soon as I find him. I hope this works. The last thing I want is to look dumb while trying to look smart.

 **Naomi:** I've given up on not fudging this bet because I didn't actually bring ten bucks and I don't want Warwick's version of the IRS to find me and ruin my life. I quite like my life.

* * *

Fauna and Genesis met up in the mess hall.

"So, what's the plan?" Genesis texted. "And where's Phoenix?"

"I don't know where he is, but we can catch him up later. He won't get a say if he can't show up. The plan is the same as usual: eliminate the whities," Fauna explained. "Only question is: which one? They're all such awful fucking slime."

"Naomi and Osric still trust me, so I could very well enlist their help if you want to vote for Warwick or Isidora," Genesis texted.

"That's awfully tempting, but I don't need white people's charity to help me with this game," Fauna huffed. "That's no better than slavery."

Genesis blinked.

"Osric is still in charge of that alliance, right?" Fauna asked. "He's enslaving you and Ursula to vote for him."

"...And Naomi," Genesis texted.

"It's not slavery because she's white. Reverse racism does not exist," Fauna insisted.

Genesis opted not to respond.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Fauna's not the most rational person on planet Earth, but she's willing to listen to me, and thus, I can sway her vote. Though she seemed quite vehement in who she wanted gone tonight.

 **Fauna:** The fact that Genesis doesn't know that reverse racism doesn't exist almost triggered me. The whiteys have her brainwashed and it's gross.

* * *

Warwick stood alone on top of the thousand-foot cliff.

"...Where _is_ everyone?" Warwick asked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Zarardo and Isidora found me eventually, but not for a long time. It's quite rude to keep a king waiting, I'll have them know.

* * *

The nine members of the Killer Boldface met up at the bonfire pit. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"If it isn't my old friends the Killer Boldface," Chris grinned. "Now, today's elimination is going to play out a bit differently."

"And why is that?" Fauna asked.

"Well, here's the thing," Chris said. "The two people who got the most votes have Invincibility Statues."

"Pardon?" Genesis texted, an annoyed look on her face.

"Yep. You and Fauna both received a majority of votes," Chris said. "So unless one of you wants to go home, I want you to go ahead and hand me your statues."

"You fucking racists!" Fauna barked. "You did this on purpose!"

"Just do it, Fauna," Genesis texted with a silent sigh as she stood up and retrieved her pink statue from her pocket and handed it to Chris in exchange for a marshmallow.

"I can't believe this..." Fauna grumbled as she also handed her statue to Chris and took a marshmallow of her own.

Phoenix smiled to himself once he was sure no one would catch him.

"Now, things aren't all doom and gloom for you two," Chris said. "Even though you've both lost your statues, your votes are the only ones that didn't count against the two of you."

"I see," Genesis texted as she eyed Phoenix.

"So that means-" Fauna started.

"Yes, but don't say who it is. I want to leave suspense for the rest of your team and for the viewers," Chris grinned.

"I like it," Fauna grinned in return.

"With two votes, the one going home... is..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

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...

...

...

Chris tossed marshmallows to Phoenix, Zarardo, Ursula, Naomi, Isidora, and Warwick in quick succession.

"Wait..." Osric said, confused.

"Yup. Sorry Osric, but you're out," Chris smiled.

"Seriously?" Osric asked. He sighed. "Got to admit, I didn't expect to go this early."

"Try not being a racist slaver then!" Fauna shouted.

"I'm white. Doesn't that make me inherently racist?" Osric snarked.

"Yes. Blame your ancestors for not adding color to your lineage," Fauna frowned.

"I thought you thought interracial relationships are racist," Osric pointed out.

"Stop using logic! It's triggering me!" Fauna shouted.

"Yeah, I'm done here," Osric said to Chris.

"Great. Anyone who wants to see Osric off can follow us to the Dock of Shame. Everyone else can head to bed," Chris announced.

* * *

Osric, Naomi, Ursula, and Chris all came to the Dock of Shame.

"When you told us about this plan, I thought you said you'd be safe," Ursula pointed out.

"I thought I was," Osric said. "I trusted Phoenix to sway the votes in a way that would benefit us, but I guess either he failed or my trust was misplaced."

"I'm still confused about everything that supposedly went on tonight," Naomi admitted.

"What you should take away from this is that Genesis is not as trustworthy as you think she is," Osric said.

Naomi nudged Ursula.

"Oh! Uh..." Ursula said nervously. "Osric..."

"Yes?" Osric asked.

"I... I'm going to win this game for you," Ursula said confidently. "And, uh... when I do, I'm going to take you out on a follow-up date."

"What if you don't?" Osric asked, his face flushed.

"Then you're buying," Ursula chuckled. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too," Osric smiled. "I'm really glad we met."

"So am I," Ursula smiled back.

Silence.

Ursula grabbed Osric by the collar of his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. Osric wrapped his arms around Ursula.

"Okay, gross," Chris said flatly as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors.. "Naomi and Ursula, you two can head to bed now. Any last words, Osric?"

"Give 'em hell," Osric smiled as he and Ursula broke their kiss.

"I'll give them so much hell, Satan himself will notice," Ursula said with a dark grin.

"Come on, Ursula. We can think of ways to avenge him together," Naomi smiled.

"Alright," Ursula said with a sad smile as she and Naomi left the Dock.

Osric entered the Elevator.

"Osric, you have finished this game in 17th place," Chris said.

"Lost the game, but got the girl. It's a cliche... but a cliche that's starting to grow on me," Osric smiled.

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater. "Now that Osric is gone, we've lost our first male camper since Ronoc. Maybe now Lindsay can stop bringing up how all the girls are going."

"The Screaming Iambics have only voted out girls is all I'm saying," Lindsay frowned as she arrived on-scene.

"Will Ursula successfully avenge the loss of her new love?" Chris asked. "Will Genesis being outed as working with Fauna harm her game? Will Phoenix being outed as working against Fauna harm his game?"

"Will Amelie get any braver?" Lindsay asked. "Will Quentin remember to work out with Tori? Will Jasper keep fooling people about his sexuality?"

"I can hardly wait to find out myself," Chris beamed.

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Phoenix:** Genesis, you're a bigger threat than you let on. Consider this a compliment.

 **Osric:** I guess I was a bit hasty in aligning with you before the game even started, because it seems I put my trust in the wrong person. I vote for Genesis.

 **Isidora:** Fauna's annoying, so I have negative one qualms with voting for her.

 **Zarardo:** I look forward to seeing Fauna's reaction when she finds out that Phoenix flipped on her. Until then, I vote for her, because her statue is not something we need.

 **Ursula:** Feels weird to vote for Genesis, but Osric insists she's not trustworthy, and he's the smart one, so yeah, I vote for Genesis.

 **Warwick:** I've been told by my trusted advisor that Fauna is actually seeking to have me eliminated. Well, I can't have that, so I vote for Fauna.

 **Fauna:** There are plenty of good options for who to vote, but Osric is actively enslaving POC on our team, and I won't stand for that one more day. I vote for Osric.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Though I'd prefer to get rid of someone I'm not aligned with, I see pros in voting for Osric, and I'd rather not rock the boat at the moment, so I vote for Osric.

 **Naomi:** Osric wants me to vote for Genesis, buuuuuuuuut, we're in the Super Secret Duo together. I heard Fauna's also a target though, soooooooo, I'll vote for her.

* * *

 _A/N: The idea with Osric was to subvert the Total Drama trope that states that all strategic characters have to be cold and have zero interest in romance... basically to be a foil slash juxtaposition to Phoenix. I thought it'd be fun to have a character who was both a strategic threat and an unabashed pervert, and while Osric was both of those things, he also turned out to be a decent guy despite that. Osric was one of my favorite characters to write, but alas, this was always where he was meant to go._


	11. Ep 10: West Hide Story

_A/N: I hope you like Alpha Party. Because here's more Alpha Party. I mean, I'd assume you do like it if you're reading this, but you know what they say about when you assume. Anyway, this is a pretty long one, so hopefully you enjoy._

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, our campers participated in a sumo tournament, winner take all!" Chris announced. "And by 'all', I mean a chance to take two friends to a nearby grocery store to buy whatever food they wanted to use in the mess hall."

"It was a simple challenge, but sometimes that just works," Lindsay smiled.

"Yeah, especially since it means less work for me," Chris grinned. "Anyway, outside of the challenge, Phoenix finally got his dream alliance together by convincing Zarardo and Isidora to join his side. The three of them plus Osric seemed destined for greatness."

"And on the other team, Mondo's planning a big alliance of his own," Lindsay added. "He wants to add Amelie and Ephraim to his alliance, and he already has Hugh. Oh, and Jasper wants Amelie and Ephraim to be in an alliance with _him_ , too! And all of them want to get rid of Quentin, Tori, and Vardaman."

"All that planning was in vain, however, as Tori won the tournament for her team, granting Invincibility to all of the Italics as well as that grocery store run to Tori and her alliance," Chris smiled.

"Phoenix put his plan into motion to get rid of both Fauna's and Genesis's Invincibility Statues," Lindsay explained. "And it worked!"

"But not without consequence," Chris said. "As everyone but Fauna and Genesis voted for the those two, their votes were the only ones to bear any weight, and though Phoenix's alliance pushed for Naomi to take the fall, it was Osric instead who fell prey to the votes."

"It wasn't all sad though," Lindsay smiled. "Because he and Ursula finally became a couple right before he left! The first couple of the season!"

"You say that like it's interesting," Chris remarked. "What I'm interested to know is: are Fauna and Genesis screwed without their hidden statues? Will Phoenix recover from the sudden loss of his ally? Will Ursula avenge the loss of Osric?"

"Who will Amelie and Ephraim align with?" Lindsay asked. "What's the deal with Tori's 'personal scars'? Will Hugh prove himself to be a bad boy?"

"Find out, right here, on Total!"

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She angrily tugs at her hair, a big scowl on her face. She picks up her phone and types into it. The phone speaks.)_ This is not how the game was supposed to go. I'm just the harmless little mute girl. I'm no threat to anyone. So how the hell did it occur to Phoenix to stab me in the back like this?! Well, my plan with Fauna is a bust since I relied on her for protection, and she can't give that to me anymore, and Osric's been eliminated, but I still have Naomi, Ursula, and Zarardo. See, I'm not completely screwed.

* * *

Naomi and Ursula ate lunch together.

"Osric said not to trust Genesis, but he was probably wrong, right?" Naomi asked. "She's our friend and ally, right?"

"I dunno," Ursula said. "On one hand, she helped me through my crush anxiety. On the other, Osric was apparently super-connected, so he probably knew what he was talking about."

"Maybe, but he's also eliminated, so how good at the game was he really?" Naomi asked.

"Well, here comes Genesis. We can address her directly," Ursula said as Genesis entered the mess hall and sat next to Naomi.

"Good morning, girls," Genesis texted.

"So, I couldn't help but notice that you cast a vote for Osric," Ursula grimaced. "Care to explain why?"

Genesis put on her best helpless look. "I was scared. I wasn't sure how well he could protect me, so I talked to Fauna and her alliance, and they agreed to take me in. I knew she had a hidden statue, so I figured she'd be able to protect me better than Osric could."

"Yeah, but you, plus Osric, plus Zarardo, plus the two of us outnumber you, plus Fauna, plus Phoenix, plus Yolonda even if she were still here," Ursula pointed out. "We could have run the team if you didn't go and backstab Osric like that!"

"Could we have?" Genesis texted, an annoyed look on her face. "I'm not sure if you noticed, but I received enough votes last night to potentially go home!"

"Yeah, only because you flipped on Osric to go join the black kids club," Ursula pointed out.

"Can you call them that?" Naomi asked.

"Eh, I'm not white. Fauna will forgive it," Ursula shrugged. "Point is, we can't trust you not to stab us in the back like you did to Osric."

"Speak for yourself," Genesis texted. "Naomi, do you still trust me?"

"Um... I-I think?" Naomi stammered. "Don't put me on the spot!"

"See, even Naomi's not sure, and she's like the most trusting person in the world," Ursula pointed out.

"So you think she's gullible?" Genesis texted with a raised eyebrow.

"I never said that!" Ursula shouted.

"Let's not fight, okay?!" Naomi suggested.

"As the de facto new head of this alliance, I'm officially kicking you out," Ursula said to Genesis.

"I just did what I thought I had to do," Genesis texted with her helpless face. "You can't fault me for that."

"Osric can, and by extension, I can," Ursula scowled darkly. "Now get out of my sight before I give you something to _really_ be afraid of."

Genesis silently scoffed before she got up to leave the room.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She angrily types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Tch. Ursula may not care about having me around, but I still have my final two deal with Naomi, and I know that with the right words, I can keep her on my side permanently. Perhaps I should work to eliminate Ursula. Then she'll have nowhere left to turn. It's not like Zarardo's going to give her any security. Point is, Ursula had better watch out.

 **Ursula:** Yeah, you'll have to excuse me for not being super friendly to the girl who's half the reason my boyfriend just got voted out. I'd expect this from Fauna, but I actually trusted Genesis. I only voted for her because Osric insisted he had a plan. Besides, she's still here. Here and very vulnerable... heheheheh...

 **Naomi:** Ohhhh, I don't want to see my two closest friends in this game arguing. I do trust Genesis to keep me safe. We're in the Super Secret Duo. But I also trust that Ursula will keep me safe because we had a final three deal apparently. I mean, the third person in that final three has been voted out, but I still trust Ursula. I want to work together with these two, not to be caught in the middle of them. _(She sighs.)_

* * *

Amelie and Ephraim hung out at the beach.

"So, how've you been these days?" Ephraim asked.

"I've been fine," Amelie said with a small smile. "I get along well with Jasper, though Hugh's started bothering me again."

"Well, you may have to get used to Hugh," Mondo said as he approached the two. "I already spoke to Ephraim about this, but I need to tell you as well, Amelie."

"What is it?" Amelie asked, a bit nervous.

"An alliance of you, me, Ephraim, and Hugh," Mondo explained. "Rest assured, Hugh would be on the bottom of the totem pole. I only aligned with him at all because no one else would at the time."

"Oh, Jasper mentioned something like this," Amelie remembered.

"He did?" Ephraim asked. "Do tell."

"I mentioned to him that this might happen, so he said he'd be willing to be a fifth vote so we can outnumber the other three," Amelie said.

"Out of the question," Mondo said sternly. "In fact, Jasper is our first target."

"He is?!" Amelie gasped. "B-B-But he's the only one I can really hold a personal conversation with."

"What about me?" Ephraim asked, wincing slightly.

"Well... um... I'm sorry!" Amelie squealed as she ran off.

"I think we scared her off," Ephraim said.

"I'm not finding her super trustworthy right now," Mondo pointed out.

"I can talk to her," Ephraim said. "I'll explain the situation to her. Contrary to what she said, she and I can have friendly talks. I assume she only said that because she got nervous and didn't think."

Mondo sighed. "Alright. I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. For now."

"You won't regret it," Ephraim said. "Believe me, conflict is the last thing I want."

"That's exactly why Jasper has to go," Mondo blushed. "He'd conflict with my interests of not falling for anyone in this game."

"I'd never peg him as your type, in all honesty," Ephraim chuckled. "But yeah. I'll talk to Amelie. And maybe Hugh too, if he's really messing with her."

"Go for it," Mondo shrugged. "And really? Of all the words you could have used, you chose 'peg'?"

"...I swear that wasn't intentional," Ephraim said with an awkward chuckle.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ephraim:** Hopefully Amelie understands why we have to lose Jasper next. That's just part of the game. I know it wasn't really her call in being here, so I can't say she knew what she was getting into, but I'm sure she's realized the nature of the game by now.

 **Mondo:** I wish my game didn't rest in Amelie's hands right now, but at least I'm still more or less calling the shots. And Kelsey's not even here anymore, so leaving her was definitely the right call. I can do this.

 **Amelie:** I got nervous. _(She frowns.)_

* * *

Fauna found Phoenix brushing his teeth in the washrooms.

"So. Avoiding me?" Fauna asked.

Phoenix spit into the sink. "I wasn't trying to. I do intend to talk to you about last night."

"Good, because what the fuck?!" Fauna scowled.

"In my defense, I voted for Genesis. She was always my target," Phoenix explained. "I never intended for you to lose your statue, but that was the only way I could get rid of Genesis's."

"Well what's wrong with Genesis?!" Fauna asked.

"I didn't trust her," Phoenix said. "She was blatantly playing multiple alliances, and nobody seemed to have an issue with it but me. Believe me, if I hadn't gone behind your back, you'd be the only one without a statue and would be a prime target."

"Well I still ain't got one!" Fauna pointed out.

"True, but neither does Genesis," Phoenix said. "I don't trust her, I doubt her original alliance trusts her given how obvious it is that she voted for Osric. Getting rid of her won't be difficult. Meanwhile, you still have a chance to stick around. All because Genesis lost her statue."

"Alright. Now how you gonna face Genesis after this?" Fauna asked.

"Why should I?" Phoenix asked. "She's next to go."

"She's a vote in our favor and a person in color!" Fauna pointed out. "The goal is to vote out the whites, remember?"

"The people of color outnumber the white people on our team five to three," Phoenix pointed out. "If we lose Genesis, we can still outnumber and get rid of the white people afterward."

"But Ursula and Zarardo aren't on our side," Fauna pointed out. "They're with the whities. We need all the help we can get."

"I suppose I have no rebuttal to that," Phoenix said. "All I'm saying is not to put all your eggs in that basket."

"That implies that I'm a farmer just because I'm black and that's racist. Don't say that again," Fauna said.

Phoenix sighed. "Okay."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** I have no plans of sticking with Fauna. I have Zarardo and Isidora, and I might be able to rope Ursula in as well assuming she's up for avenging the loss of her crush. What Zarardo and Isidora do, Warwick does, so he's a fifth by proxy. Of course, I can't let Fauna know I'm no longer on her side. I don't need her yelling at me all day.

 **Fauna:** I'm too annoyed to even get angry at these people today. People saw two women of color working together and decided to put them in danger. It's sick. However, Phoenix is right. The POC outnumber the crackers on this team, so if I, by some miracle, can get Ursula and Zarardo onto my side, I can still recover from this. The only problem is convincing them to leave their whitelords and joining the right side. Brainwashing is not easy to cure.

* * *

Jasper found Vardaman relaxing in the boys' cabin, reading a medical book.

"Hey Vaaaaardy," Jasper said in a sing-songy manner.

"Mornin', Jasper," Vardaman said, not looking up from his book.

"So, I have a bit of a medical emergency," Jasper winked.

"It ain't 'Vardaman Fever', is it?" Vardaman remarked, unimpressed.

"Nope," Jasper smiled.

"Have you come down with a case of fabulousness?" Vardaman asked.

"Nope," Jasper chuckled.

"Did ya take Viagra and you were told to call your doctor if your erection lasts longer than normal?" Vardaman sighed.

"No, but it has something to do with down there," Jasper winked.

Vardaman sighed. "What is it?"

"I think I have a rash down there," Jasper said. "You should check it out."

"I got some rash cream in my first-aid kit," Vardaman said as he grabbed his first-aid kit and handed it to Jasper. He hadn't looked up from his book once.

"I really think you should take a look at it," Jasper pouted.

"Why?" Vardaman asked

"I think it might be fatal!" Jasper said over-exaggeratedly. "Besides, isn't it your duty to attend to any medical emergency one of us might have?"

"To be honest, I don't really trust that you have a rash down there," Vardaman said.

"I do! And if you don't attend to it, you'll be a failure as a doctor!" Jasper responded in an over-the-top manner. "It'll weigh on your conscience when this infection of mine ruins my life forever!"

"Ask a girl to check on it," Vardaman frowned.

"Is that why you won't look? Because I'm gay?" Jasper frowned. "That's homophobic."

"Fine, I'll do it," Vardaman sighed, annoyed. "Let's get this over with."

"This isn't much fun for me either," Jasper pouted as he dropped his pants.

Vardaman inspected the area in question. "Everythin' seems to be fine."

"How strange. There was a rash there before," Jasper said innocently.

"Was there?" Vardaman asked skeptically.

Jasper snickered. "Okay, no, there wasn't." He then burst into laughter. "I totally got you to touch my junk!"

"Gross!" Vardaman shuddered as he backed away. "Get outta here!"

"Stop being so homophobic," Jasper pouted.

"Get!" Vardaman reiterated

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** Ahahahaha! It's been too long since I messed with someone, and I don't have this facade for nothing. It was kind of gay to trick a guy into touching my crotch, but then I guess that's what I'm going for? I don't know. It was more awkward for me than I thought it'd be. I'll have to think of something else to do...

 **Vardaman:** Is it really homophobic to _not_ want to inspect Jasper? As a doctor-in-trainin', I shouldn't really discriminate by gender, but the knowledge that he enjoyed it in ways I'd rather he didn't made it awkward. Least I can probably use this against him if he expects me to check that area ever again. _(He shudders.)_

* * *

Warwick paced back and forth at the top of the cliff. Zarardo was with him, playing with his Fushigi ball.

"I can't believe we got rid of two statues at once..." Warwick thought aloud. "Was that always the plan?"

"I only wanted Fauna's statue gone," Zarardo lied. "The fact that Genesis lost hers as well is a neat coincidence, though."

"Neat for you, maybe, but I still wanted to try and convince her to give it to me," Warwick pouted.

"When was the last time you spoke to her?" Zarardo asked.

"Well..." Warwick paused, a bit taken aback. "I was... I was just trying to think of a way to convince her..."

"Well, from what I heard, Genesis wanted you out," Zarardo said.

"She did?!" Warwick gasped. "How could she?! She's definitely not invited into my kingdom once it's established. I'll put it in the constitution."

"Well, she'll be an irrelevant premerge boot soon enough," Zarardo chuckled. "Assuming that is alright with Your Highness."

"It very much is," Warwick said heartily. "I'd rather keep Fauna around. She's hilarious."

"You think her wanting you dead is hilarious?" Zarardo asked.

"Ah, she's all talk," Warwick declared. "She hasn't tried to harm any of us. She's just an entitled little child who expects things to be handed to her on a silver platter." Warwick chortled. "You know, all this talking about someone behind their back is making me hungry. I demand that you fetch me some ice cream!"

Zarardo snickered to himself. "Right away, Your Highness."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** Surprisingly, Warwick makes a good point. Fauna is all bark and no bite. The only reason she got her way last night is because hers was one of two votes that actually counted. Genesis, on the other hand, does seem like a legitimate threat. The question is: who would I rather keep around? Someone who can potentially beat me? Or someone who annoys me to no end? Ah, both should be gone soon enough. I'll let Phoenix decide who goes first.

 **Warwick:** Go against _me_ , will you, Genesis? Well, _two_ can play at that game! Actually, twenty-six can play at this game... but soon Genesis will not be one of those people! Hahaha!

* * *

Hugh and Tori happened to be in the kitchen at the same time, fixing lunch.

"So, what'd you bring us?" Hugh asked.

"I assume you mean from the reward?" Tori asked. "Quentin bought a variety of junk food. Vardaman picked various meats and vegetables. I brought back superfoods: kale, chia seeds, et cetera."

"Okay, ew," Hugh grimaced. "I'll never understand why people eat those things."  
Tori gave Hugh a look.

"Oh, did I hit a nerve?" Hugh sneered.

"No. I'm simply wondering what you add to this team," Tori responded.

"Wait, what?" Hugh asked.

"You lack physical strength, you lack strategic ability, and you lack any sort of charisma," Tori said. "And yet you remain here, while Bijou, Stormy~, Kelsey, and Cordelia have to deal with the fact that you will place higher than they will despite all of them having at least one of those traits."

"Great. All according to plan," Hugh bluffed. "The fact that you see me as no threat at all means you'll be less likely to target me."

"On the contrary, I look forward to your elimination," Tori stated. "If you aren't adding to the team, then you are taking away from it. That is inexcusable."

"Yeah, have fun being the first merge boot once people no longer need your brute strength - which, need I remind you, is the only thing you have going for you," Hugh responded snidely.

"You act tough, but you lack strength in any capacity," Tori stated. "You lack physical strength, as evidenced by your thin build. You lack social strength, as evidenced by you having no friends on the island. And you lack mental strength, as evidenced by the fact that you have yet to refute a single accusation I've given you thus far."

Hugh looked as though he was thinking hard about what to say, but after a while, he simply left the kitchen with his plate of food.

"For such a 'bad boy', he seems rather vulnerable to words," Tori thought aloud.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** That's bullshit! I'm the baddest boy there is! I had a hand in every elimination this team has had so far except Bijou's! Tori's just jealous that I'm better-looking than she is!

 **Tori:** I think the only reason Hugh is still here is because nobody thinks he's worth eliminating.

* * *

Isidora read a book quietly on her rock when Quentin wandered by.

"Hey, you're Tori's friend, right?" Isidora asked.

"Uh, yeah?" Quentin answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, assuming all three of us make the merge, I should probably start getting along with you," Isidora shrugged. "Tori and I became friends on day one kind of, so I'm hoping that pans out."

"Oh, cool," Quentin smiled. "Well, I'm Quentin. I'm just your average guy who's here to win a million dollars."

"I'm Isidora. I'm anemic, if you didn't know, but I'm also pretty smart or something, so there's that," Isidora introduced.

"Cool," Quentin said. "Hey, totally unrelated topic: do you know Hugh?"

"He's that poser kid on your team, right?" Isidora asked. "The one who thinks that being a bad boy is just being a dick and not having any sense of coolness whatsoever?"

"...Maybe?" Quentin said. "Anyway, he insists that girls only like bad boys, and I'm just wondering that holds any truth to it."

Isidora smirked. "Not in the slightest," she said. "Granted, each girl has differing tastes, but if a girl's attracted to someone because they're mean to her, then she probably has serious daddy issues or something. Or mommy issues. I don't judge."

"I see..." Quentin mused.

"Why? Do you like someone?" Isidora asked.

"I might," Quentin answered. "I'm not sure yet,"

"Well, just be yourself and all that," Isidora said. "Unless yourself is too shy to talk to girls. In that case, man up."

"I'm talking to you, aren't I?" Quentin pointed out.

"Maybe, but I'm hardly crush material," Isidora shrugged.

"Aw, I'm sure there's someone out there for you," Quentin smiled. "That ginger guy you used to hang out with seems pretty cool."

"If by 'cool' you mean 'full of bullcrap'," Isidora smirked.

"In a good way or a bad way?" Quentin asked.

"Well, he's the main reason I'm still here, so I'll give him that," Isidora shrugged.

"Aww," Quentin cooed.

"Why 'aww'?" Isidora asked.

"He's given you the strength to keep going. It's sweet," Quentin smiled.

"It's not- It's not like that!" Isidora stammered.

"Whatever you say," Quentin said with a cheeky shrug as he walked off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Quentin:** Good to know I don't have to be a bad boy to get a girl's attention. I'm not very good at that kind of thing. Heck, I felt guilty when I stepped on a spider this morning. ...Okay, I still feel kind of guilty.

 **Isidora:** I promise I have no feelings for Ronoc. I legitimately don't. Tsundere is not my style.

* * *

Vardaman wandered through the forest when he found Naomi skating around absentmindedly.

"Mornin', Naomi," Vardaman greeted with a tip of his hat.

"Hey, Vardaman," Naomi responded. "Want to listen to me complain about my problems?"

"I ain't _that_ kinda doctor, but I'm always willin' to help a friend," Vardaman responded. "What's goin' on?"

"Well, Genesis and Ursula are fighting and I think both want to vote each other out, and I'm both of their closest friend, and I don't want to pick sides," Naomi frowned. "It's really stressful."

"Well, what're they fightin' over?" Vardaman asked.

"Genesis voted out Osric, who's dating Ursula, but she said she only did it because she thought she had no other choice," Naomi explained. "I feel like they're both in the right here and I don't know what to do."

"Hm, that is quite a pickle you're in, there," Vardaman told her. "Why did Genesis think she had to vote for Osric?"

"I think she said she wasn't sure Osric could protect her. Which is weird because she had an Invincibility thing anyway," Naomi answered.

"Maybe you oughta talk to Genesis about it again," Vardaman suggested. "I wouldn't go makin' any decisions 'til you know all the details."

"Yeah... Yeah, that makes sense," Naomi smiled. "Thanks, Vardaman. I owe you."

"Just helpin' out a friend," Vardaman said humbly.

Naomi gave Vardaman a kiss on the cheek before skating off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** I didn't tell Vardaman about how both girls want to take me to the end, because it didn't seem relevant and I think you're not supposed to tell people about that. Still, he was a great help. And we're barely even that close. Isn't he the best?

 **Vardaman:** It's weird to think Naomi of all people is caught up in the drama too. She always seems so happy and carefree. I really admire that. Despite everythin', she's still able to grin n' bear it.

* * *

Zarardo had entered the mess hall to get ice cream for Warwick when Fauna confronted him.

"Hey, Zarardo. We need to talk," Fauna said.

"Oh? What is it?" Zarardo asked.

"Evidently, people on this team don't like me very much," Fauna pointed out.

"Really? I hadn't noticed," Zarardo said innocently.

"Cut the crap. You voted for me or Genesis last night," Fauna scowled. "Here's the thing: I need more allies. If you join my alliance, you will never be the primary target, and it'll give you more security than those two whities can give you. You'll have me, Phoenix, Genesis, and maybe Ursula."

"You want me to betray my allies?" Zarardo asked. "That seems awfully sketchy."

"We can vote for Naomi first," Fauna said. "If you change your mind after that, then you won't lose any allies."

"I see..." Zarardo said. "Well, I don't have anything to lose. You have yourself a deal."

"We do?" Fauna asked. "Well, glad to have you onboard. We'll win this game for the POC yet."

"An admirable goal indeed," Zarardo smiled. "All Warwick wants is to keep up the white man's reign over us. It's a relief to not have to work for him anymore."

"...Right," Fauna said.

"Speaking of whom, he expects ice cream very soon," Zarardo said as he held up an ice cream cone. "Let it be known that I am definitely on your side, but I'd rather not have him yell at me. White people, am I right?"

With that, Zarardo left the mess hall.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** I'm just telling Fauna what she wants to hear here. Little does she know, she's the very person I want gone next, but if I get her to trust me, then it could help me in the long run. Haha, now that I think about it, this makes me aligned with everyone on this team. Not bad for but a humble street magician. _(He chuckles.)_

 **Fauna:** I know Zarardo's full of shit. Nobody changes their tune that easily. Zarardo's been on Warwick's side since day one. The crackers have brainwashed him, so him telling me that he's all of a sudden trying to end white oppression is nothing more than a blatant lie. Pfft. I'm onto you, Zarardo.

 **Warwick:** _(He is eating an ice cream cone.)_ It looks like Tori and her friends got rocky road. They will definitely be allowed into my kingdom! Ohohohoho!

* * *

Ephraim found Hugh leaning against a totem pole at the campground, listening to music on an MP3 player. Ephraim knocked on the pole to get Hugh's attention.

"What is it, artard?" Hugh scowled as he paused his music and took an earbud out.

"Amelie tells me you've been picking on her again," Ephraim said sternly.

"I've done no such thing," Hugh said defensively.

"Have you spoken to Amelie at all recently?" Ephraim asked patiently.

"Maybe like once or twice, but-" Hugh started.

"In that case, I have no proof that you haven't been making her uncomfortable, intentionally or otherwise," Ephraim said sternly.

"Tch. She's just intimidated by how attracted she is to me," Hugh scoffed.

"Do you honestly believe that?" Ephraim asked.

"W-Well yeah. Doy," Hugh stammered.

"Well, I know Amelie better than you do, and she told me that she's bothered by you," Ephraim said. "Now, I've been talking to Mondo, so the possibility of me and Amelie joining your alliance is very real. If you can't get along with Amelie, there will be consequences."

"Such as?" Hugh sneered.

"...Words are everything in this game," Ephraim said. "If you make the merge, you will be dropped from this alliance immediately and we will have nothing but bad things to say to the Boldface about you. We won't need you anymore, and no one will want you on their side."

Hugh was speechless.

"So be nice to Amelie," Ephraim finally said before walking off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ephraim:** I'm definitely the "I don't start fights, I finish them" type of guy. When people don't get along, nothing gets done. When everything goes into chaos, then nobody is truly safe. That's why I've been averse to Hugh from the start, though I am willing to look past that for the sake of the alliance, so long as Hugh leaves Amelie alone.

 **Hugh:** ...Frick, Ephraim has all the power here! I was just flirting with Amelie. Excuse me for having human feelings. Something Ephraim doesn't seem to have. Seriously, the dude does not emote. Ever. Eugh. I hate him so damn much.

* * *

In the girls' cabin, Ursula sat on her bunk with a pad and pencil.

"So we have Fauna and Genesis working together for sure... but where does Phoenix fit into all this...?" Ursula muttered.

"Why don't you ask me?" Phoenix asked as he entered the cabin.

"I don't think you're allowed in here," Ursula said gruffly.

"That hasn't stopped anyone before," Phoenix said. "Look, you're upset about Osric leaving, right?"

"You know, he did mention you'd go out of your way to make sure he _didn't_ go home," Ursula pointed out. "Care to explain?"

"That's actually why I'm here," Phoenix said. "I'm not loyal to Fauna or Genesis at all. I've been wary of Genesis for a while, and actually want her gone. So I formed a secret alliance: Osric, Isidora, Zarardo, and myself. Our goal was to get the team to get rid of Fauna's and Genesis' statues, and we'd throw Warwick or someone under the bus to take the fall."

"So why did Osric go?" Ursula asked harshly.

"I tried talking to Fauna, but she had her mind made up. You know how she is," Phoenix sighed. "Anyway, I'm here to offer Osric's old spot in the alliance to you."

"We've never held a conversation before. Why would I trust you?" Ursula scowled.

"Because Osric trusted me," Phoenix said. "Look, this could be your means to avenge Osric. You don't have to betray Naomi or anything; think of this as extra security to make sure you'll stay in the game. You'll have a strong group of trusted allies starting into the merge, and Genesis and Fauna happen to be our first two targets."

Ursula paused to think. "Who else did you say was in this alliance?"

"Isidora and Zarardo," Phoenix answered.

"I'll have to ask them about the whole thing first," Ursula said. "This is awfully sketchy."

"Understandable," Phoenix nodded. "But, for the sake of my own sanity, I urge you to come to a decision before our next vote, which could very well be tonight."

"I'll do it when I do it," Ursula said firmly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** Ugh, remember when this game used to be simple? When it was just a summer camp where teenagers would have fun and meet people and make an alliance every ten episodes or so? Now it's just... for all I know I could be on the outs and everyone else is aligned with everyone else and I'm just being played for a fool here!

 **Phoenix:** I understand that Ursula is upset, but after telling her all that key information, you'd think she'd be a little more grateful about me offering her this alliance spot. _(He sighs.)_

* * *

Quentin and Tori hung out in the forest as Tori just finished her workout.

"You know, I keep saying I should work out with you, but I never do," Quentin pointed out. "You seem so in the zone when you work out, and I wouldn't know what I was doing, so I can't ask for direction."

"I apologize if my determination is preventing you from enjoying our time together," Tori said sincerely.

"You know, you talk really smart for someone who focuses entirely on strength," Quentin pointed out.

"I do?" Tori asked. "I... hadn't noticed."

"Yeah, you speak really formally all the time," Quentin nodded. "Not that it's a bad thing. I think it's kind of cool, actually."

"...Well I... I have a confession," Tori said seriously. "I have not been training my strength for my entire life."

"Well, I figured that when you were a baby you probably focused more on learning the alphabet or something," Quentin said.

"Actually, I knew the alphabet before I was one year old," Tori said. "Believe it or not, before I became what I am today, I was a bit of a nerd."

"Really?" Quentin asked. "I can't see it. You really own the strength thing."

"It's the truth," Tori nodded. "I tried to hide it early on in the game by acting dumb, but as it progressed, I suppose I grew more comfortable around everyone and began to show my true self a bit more."

"This is really interesting," Quentin smiled.

"I had a beanpole figure, I studied a lot... I'm actually wearing contacts now, but I used to wear glasses, if you can believe it," Tori said with a sad chuckle.

"So what made you change your mind?" Quentin asked. "Oh, right, that's personal. Never mind. Sorry."

"No, I think it's about time I told you," Tori said. "When I was about thirteen, a gang broke into my house with intent to rob. My father was at work, but I had school off that day and my mother had no job. I was scared of what might happen, so I hid in my closet. My mother fled to another room and tried to call the police, but..."

Tori looked away from Quentin.

"You don't have to finish if you don't want to," Quentin assured her.

"One of the gang members found my mother and killed her," Tori finally said.

"Oh no..." Quentin said as his face paled. "I'm so sorry."

"I blamed myself... In a way, I still do," Tori said. "I always told myself that if I were stronger, I could have protected my mother. I could have fought the gang off. I could have prevented such a... hole in my life from forming."

"So that's why you work so hard to become so strong?" Quentin asked. "In case anything like that happens again?"

"Better safe than sorry," Tori nodded. "I never had much of a social life to begin with, so in a way, all I did was trade my abacus for dumbbells, so to speak. At the end of the day, knowledge is useless when someone attacks with brute force."

"Wow... I don't know what to say..." Quentin said sympathetically.

"It is a lot to take in, I realize," Tori told him.

Quentin gave Tori a sympathetic hug. Tori embraced him back.

"I haven't told anyone my age about this before," Tori said. "Only counselors that my father made me see."

"Well, I'm honored that you told me, then," Quentin smiled. "It means a lot that you trust me so much as to tell me something like that after only knowing me for a couple of days."

"You may be one of the most genuine people I've ever met, Quentin," Tori said with a smile of her own. "I'm... glad we met."

"I'm really glad we met too," Quentin beamed.

"Attention, campers!" Chris's voice rang throughout the island over the PA system. "It's time for your next challenge! Meet up at the central campground for the details! Chop chop!"

"We should go," Quentin said.

"I suppose so," Tori responded. "But we'll have to talk later. You owe me the telling of your biggest secret," she added with a smirk.

"I don't have anything juicy that even comes close to yours," Quentin admitted. "...But I'd be happy to tell you anyway."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Tori:** I hope my trust in Quentin hasn't been misplaced. It's not often I share my insecurities with anyone. To do so is to show weakness, after all.

 **Quentin:** Bwahahahahaha! I can't believe she trusted me! What a fool! ...Okay, that was just a joke. I'm actually really touched by that conversation with Tori. I feel a very real connection with her that I don't think I've felt with anyone before.

* * *

The sixteen campers all met up in the central campground as per Chris's request. Chris and Lindsay were there.

"Alright, campers. Today's challenge is really simple. Not even Lindsay could get confused by this one," Chris opened. He spasmed as Lindsay set off his shock collar. "Ugh. Fair enough."

"I'm not that dumb," Lindsay pouted. "I even made it a point to learn everyone's name this season."

"Whatever," Chris said dismissively, only to get shocked again. "Ah ah ah. Remember what we said about excessive use of that thing?"

Lindsay frowned as she put her shock collar remote in her pocket.

"Anyway..." Chris resumed. "I want each team to choose one person."

"You're not going to tell us what this is for?" Jasper asked.

"Nope!" Chris grinned.

"It might be a team swap," Phoenix whispered to his team. "Don't suppose we have any volunteers for that?"

"I'll do it," Genesis texted.

"You sure?" Naomi asked, concerned.

"...I am," Genesis texted.

"It's probably something challenge-related," Mondo said.

"In that case, we should use Tori," Quentin suggested. "She's good at challenges."

"So are a lot of us," Hugh pointed out.

"Like you?" Amelie giggled.

"Y-Yes," Hugh huffed.

"Great. You can prove yourself in this challenge then," Ephraim decided.

"Looks like we have our picks," Chris said. "Hugh, Genesis, step forward please."

"If this screws me over, I swear..." Hugh grumbled as he stepped up. Genesis silently stepped up as well.

"Alright, now that you've selected your picks, allow me to explain the challenge," Chris said. "Today's challenge is a massive game of hide and seek, and these two here are 'it'."

"Like the clown?" Warwick chuckled.

"The clown's name is not 'It', dumbass," Ursula said harshly.

"Yeah it is. He's It the Clown," Warwick insisted.

"His name is Pennywise you dumb fu-!"

"Ahem? Explaining the challenge here? Thank you?" Chris interrupted impatiently. "Anyway, the rest of you will have five minutes to find hiding spots around the island. Once that time is up, our 'its' will go searching for you guys. If you are found by the other team's 'it', you have to follow them for the rest of the challenge. The first team to have all its members located will lose the challenge and be up for elimination. Got it?" As Chris spoke, Lindsay put blindfolds that matched the team colors over Genesis' and Hugh's eyes. Genesis had taken her glasses off first.

This was met with murmurs of affirmation.

"Good, because your time starts... now!" Chris announced as he set his watch. The campers (minus Genesis and Hugh) all scurried away.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Ursula's very on-edge now that her only means of strategic prowess is out of the game. I may be able to make this work if I can convince everyone that she'd be bad for morale or something. I'm not done yet!

 **Hugh:** So, just find everyone on the other team? Easy. I'm sick and tired enough of my own team that finding these people should be a refreshing change of pace.

 **Zarardo:** A simple challenge. All I have to do is make myself... disappear! Granted, that's more of a stage magician kind of thing... my point is, I should have this challenge won.

 **Amelie:** I'm very good at hiding - lots of practice - so I may actually do well in this challenge.

* * *

The hiding campers all moved to their respective hiding spots: Amelie hid under a bunk in the boys' cabin, Ephraim hid in the walk-in freezer in the mess hall, Fauna hid on the bit of shore under the Dock of Shame, Isidora hid in a washroom stall, Jasper hid behind the open door in the girls' cabin, Mondo hid in a tree in the middle of the forest, Naomi hid backstage of the amphitheatre, Phoenix hid inside the mining cave, Quentin climbed on top of the totem pole at the central campground, Tori hid under one of the sets of bleachers at the dodgeball court, Ursula hid in one grave at the pet cemetery, Vardaman hid in the boathouse, Warwick hid on top of the thousand-foot cliff, and Zarardo hid atop Mt. Looming Tragedy.

* * *

Genesis and Hugh continued waiting with their eyes covered.

"Is it almost time yet?" Hugh asked.

"Seven more seconds," Chris told him.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Go!" Chris shouted.

Genesis and Hugh tore off their blindfolds and scanned the area to begin their searches. Genesis put her glasses back on.

Hugh saw a glimmer coming from the top of the cliff, so he ran in that direction. Genesis decided to check the cabins first.

* * *

Warwick sat down at the cliff.

"Heh, nobody will think to look here," Warwick chuckled to himself. "With the wisdom to be able to hide myself in plain sight, surely I have the wisdom to lead a country!"

"If that's all it takes, then it's no wonder the government is the butt of so many jokes," Hugh sneered as he made it to the top of the cliff.

"What?! Where did you come from?!" Warwick gasped.

"I saw your crown shining from down at the campground," Hugh grinned.

"Curses! My own opulence has betrayed me!" Warwick exclaimed.

"Just come with me," Hugh said flatly.

"I shan't!" Warwick said defiantly.

"Look, I don't want to either, but Chris said you have to," Hugh glared.

"I follow no one's rules but my own!" Warwick declared.

"Go with him, Warwick," Chris said flatly over the PA.

"Alright, fine!" Warwick conceded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** I figured he'd look in more hidden kind of places first. Who would think to look in plain sight when everyone is hiding? My genius idea was ruined!

* * *

Genesis entered the girls' cabin and began to search. She looked under the beds and under a pile of dirty laundry before checking behind the door, where Jasper was found.

"Hey girl," Jasper smiled.

Genesis gave him a flat look before gesturing for him to follow her.

"I don't know where anyone else is, before you ask," Jasper said.

Genesis wiggled the fingers on both hands.

"Don't have your phone with you?" Jasper asked.

Genesis shook her head.

"Why not?" Jasper asked.

Genesis silently sighed before walking up to her bed, grabbing her phone, and typing into it.

"I need to focus on the challenge," Genesis texted. "I can't do that if I'm focusing on what I'm trying to communicate."

Genesis put her phone back on her bed and gestured for Jasper to follow her once again as she left the cabin.

"Fair enough, I guess," Jasper shrugged.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** I bet she just doesn't want to talk to me. _(He huffs.)_

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ It's a lot harder than it looks to talk through this thing. I have to make sure every word is spelled correctly so the output doesn't become an incomprehensible mess. I can't look for people if my eyes are glued to the screen.

* * *

Genesis and Jasper left the girls' cabin and went into the boys' cabin.

"This is my bed," Jasper said as he sat on his bunk. "Genesis, do you want to see my bed?"

Genesis shot Jasper an annoyed look before checking behind the door.

"There could be someone hiding in my bed and you'd never even know," Jasper said cheekily.

Genesis took a deep breath before looking under the bunk. Sure enough, Amelie was hiding down there.

"Um, hi," Amelie said quietly.

Genesis beckoned Amelie.

"Why'd you sell me out like that, Jasper?" Amelie asked as she crawled out from under the bed.

"Oh my Liberace, were you down there?" Jasper giggled. "I didn't even know. Oopsies!"

"At least we can spend the challenge together," Amelie smiled shyly. "We're not going anywhere scary or dangerous, are we?"

"Depends on where our teammates hid," Jasper said.

"Jaspeeeeer," Amelie whined. "Don't scare me like that."

Genesis snapped her fingers expectantly as she gestured for the two to follow her.

"Don't worry. I'll protect you," Jasper told Amelie.

Amelie giggled. "Thanks."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Jasper's a really good friend. I hope he sticks around.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I wish I had a voice. Not because I want the convenience of speech, or because I want people to see me differently, but because I want to be able to tell people to shut up by yelling at the top of my lungs. It looks so satisfying when I see other people do it. Of course, that would go against my "harmless disabled girl" shtick, but outside of the game, it would be amazing.

* * *

Hugh began searching in the forest, with Warwick behind him.

"You know, for a supposed 'bad boy', you sure were inclined to follow the rules," Warwick pointed out.

"The hell are you talking about?" Hugh snarled.

"Well, you were all 'you have to come with me, it's the rules' earlier," Warwick pointed out.

"Bitch, please," Hugh scoffed. "I don't follow the rules, I make them my bitch. I'm such a bad boy, they had to add a rule because of me."

"Wait... the 'no stealing statues' rule?" Warwick asked. "That rule came into effect just as I was about to steal Fauna's statue! It's your fault!"

"And that's my problem, how?" Hugh sneered. "Once you start finding holes in the system, come talk to me."

"Fauna could already be eliminated if not for you!" Warwick cried. "We just now got rid of her statue last night, and I almost got eliminated!"

"That's not even close to my fault," Hugh said uncaringly. "You're the one who OOF!"

As Hugh spoke, he didn't look where he was going, and fell in a six-foot rectangular hole in the ground.

"Hey look, you're in a grave. Just like your chances in this game!" Warwick guffawed.

"Yeah, hilarious," Hugh said, unimpressed. "Just help me out."

"I don't know. If I let you stay in here, you won't be able to find my teammates," Warwick chuckled.

"Don't make me come out of here and beat your ass!" Hugh threatened.

"I thought you needed my help," Warwick sneered.

"If he's stuck in there, I don't need to hide anymore, do I?" Ursula asked as she approached the grave.

"Where did you come from?" Warwick asked.

"I was in that grave over there," Ursula gestured.

"Aha! I found you!" Hugh shouted. "You have to follow me now."

"Says who?" Ursula challenged.

"Says me," Chris said over the PA.

"Dammit," Ursula swore.

"Say, did you have any idea what went on last night?" Warwick asked Ursula.

"What do you mean?" Ursula asked.

"All I heard is that Fauna wanted me out, but apparently she wanted Osric out. Also apparently people voted for Genesis," Warwick explained. "What is this madness?!"

"Dude, don't go telling our team dynamics to the enemy," Ursula scolded as she gestured at Hugh.

"I honestly don't care," Hugh said as he appeared next to the two.

"Where did you come from?" Warwick asked.

"I climbed out," Hugh said. "Come on, let's go."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** I should have stayed in the grave. I'd be better off dead.

* * *

Hugh, Ursula, and Warwick all approached the mining cave at the edge of the forest.

"Oh, hey, I forgot about this place," Hugh commented. "I'm gonna go look in here."

"Cool. Have fun with the radiation poisoning," Ursula chuckled.

"It's just a replica, artard. I'll be fine," Hugh said with a roll of his eyes. "Don't go anywhere." With that, Hugh entered the cave.

"I can't believe we're taking orders from him," Warwick grumbled.

"I'd rather not risk a penalty from Chris," Ursula said.

Meanwhile, Hugh had just finished going down the elevator.

"Geez, it's dark in here," Hugh mumbled. "If anyone's hiding in here, no way they went very far."

Just then, Hugh bumped into something and fell to his bottom.

"Ow," the something said.

"Phoenix, I presume?" Hugh asked.

"You could tell?" Phoenix asked.

"Well, you sound like a black guy, and given the cast, that kind of narrows it down," Hugh pointed out.

"Fair enough," Phoenix said. "I'll follow you out."

"Finally, someone cooperative!" Hugh said exasperatedly. "I've already run into Warwick and Ursula."

"You're good at remembering names considering none of us are on our team," Phoenix pointed out.

"I'm good at remembering names. Just a random talent," Hugh said.

The two boys made their way up the elevator.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** Interesting. I wonder if Hugh knows all of our full names.

 **Hugh:** I only know the full names of people whose full names I've heard. I haven't heard a lot of people's last names. I know Ephraim's last name is Malia and Kelsey's last name is Carter, but that's about it. Oh, and my last name is Kincaid. Obviously I remember that.

* * *

Genesis, Amelie, and Jasper exited the boys' cabin, and Genesis immediately caught a glimpse of Quentin perched on top of the totem pole. She nudged Jasper and pointed at Quentin.

"Why'd you nudge me?" Jasper asked.

Genesis cupped her hands around her mouth.

"Oh. Quentin! Genesis found you! Get down here!" Jasper called.

"Aw. I was hoping no one would think to look up here," Quentin chuckled. "Hold on, I'll be right down."

Quentin climbed down the pole and approached the three campers.

"How'd you get up there, anyway?" Amelie asked.

"The same way I came down. Except I went up instead of down," Quentin answered.

"Weren't you scared of falling?" Amelie asked, worried.

"Nah, it's all good," Quentin said. "I've got good luck, remember? If anything, you should be worried that I sap the luck from you."

"I don't think that's how it works," Jasper said.

"Well, they don't teach you about it in school, so I wouldn't know," Quentin shrugged.

Genesis clapped her hands and gestured for the Italics to follow her.

"You can use your words you kno- oh, wait. Sorry," Quentin said with an awkward chuckle.

Genesis held her hand up as if to say "it's fine". She made her way to the mess hall, the three teens following her.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Quentin:** You know what I just realized? Tori and I are both Indians, but she's an Indian as in Native American, and I'm an Indian as in I have ancestors from India. Weird. And pretty cool.

* * *

Genesis and Co. entered the mess hall. Genesis began to check under the tables.

"She's not one for conversation," Jasper pointed out.

"Well, she didn't bring her phone," Amelie pointed out in return.

"And even if she did, it takes a bit for her to type out what she wants to say," Quentin added. "Does that ever kill the flow of a conversation, Genesis?"

Genesis ignored the others as she moved into the kitchen.

"Maybe I'll ask her later when it's not a challenge," Quentin decided.

"What if one of you goes home tonight?" Amelie asked.

"Huh. Never thought about that," Quentin realized.

Genesis continued her search in the kitchen. She checked every nook and cranny between the counters, pantries, and fridge, and even checked inside the pantry itself. Finally, she opened up the door to the walk-in freezer to find Ephraim hitting a hanging carcass like it was a sandbag.

"Oh, hey," Ephraim said to her. "I guess this means I'll have to follow you, then?"

Genesis nodded in response.

"Fair enough," Ephraim decided as he followed her out of the freezer, shutting the door behind him.

"Hey Ephraim," Amelie greeted from the mess hall.

"Hey, Amelie," Ephraim smiled. "Looks like she's found four of us already."

"I know. We're probably going to lose, huh?" Amelie whimpered.

Genesis beckoned for the Italics to follow her as soon as she was done searching the mess hall. They all obeyed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ephraim:** Staying in that freezer was no problem. It's cold all the time where I live, and I have to stay outside at night all the time due to my being a bouncer. I'm used to it.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ One perk of being mute: since you never talk, people assume you never listen. It allows for some easy eavesdropping. For example, I was able to gather that Amelie and Ephraim seem to be friends. Not huge information, but it could be something to consider if they both make the merge.

* * *

Hugh, Phoenix, Ursula, and Warwick had made it to the base of Mt. Looming Tragedy.

"Have we even used this place for a challenge yet?" Ursula asked.

"Yeah, in the relay race," Hugh affirmed. "This is where I had to wait for Ephraim to show up with the baton. Also I looked here for the hidden statue during that challenge. I was stuck with Ronoc."

"I keep forgetting this place exists," Warwick said.

"It's a good place to be if you want to get away from it all, then," Ursula said.

"Yeah. And a good place to hide," Hugh grinned.

"You intend to climb all the way up there on the off chance of finding someone?" Phoenix asked.

"Don't judge me, bitch!" Hugh snapped as he began to climb.

"Heh. He called you a bitch," Warwick chuckled.

"Too bad he forgot that Phoenix is a Vulcan and doesn't care," Ursula snickered.

"A Vulcan?" Phoenix asked.

"You know, like from Star Trek. Because you lack emotion," Ursula explained.

"I knew what you were talking about. I'm just surprised you know that reference," Phoenix said.

"I saw the new movies," Ursula shrugged. "My then-boyfriend made me."

Meanwhile, Hugh had just made it to the top of Mt. Looming Tragedy, where Zarardo was seated.

"Please. Pick a card," Zarardo smirked as he fanned a deck of cards out before Hugh.

"Just follow me," Hugh said impatiently.

Zarardo stood up and began to flourish the deck in flashy ways.

"Seriously, let's go," Hugh scowled.

"Alright," Zarardo conceded as he put the deck in his pocket and followed Hugh down the mountain.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** Little does Hugh know, his card is in his hoodie pocket. Despite the fact that he didn't pick a card. I picked a card for him. The trick would be much more impressive if he'd gone along and picked a card. The little shit.

* * *

Hugh and Co. had made it to the amphitheatre.

"Ah, the amphitheatre," Zarardo said. "...Lindsay never did give that card back. I should see what I can do about changing that."

"How dare she steal from my faithful advisor and fool!" Warwick shouted. "I never liked her anyway, but now she's definitely not allowed in my kingdom."

"I'm sure she'll be heartbroken," Ursula remarked.

Hugh checked underneath the amphitheatre.

"I don't understand how anyone could hide under there," Warwick said. "I'd get too claustrophobic."

"Well, not everyone is you," Hugh said. "Besides, no one's under there. I'm checking backstage."

Hugh went backstage and, sure enough, Naomi was there.

"Aww, you found me," Naomi pouted.

"Had to happen eventually," Hugh said. "Let's go find the rest of your team. By which I mean the two or three people I haven't found yet."

The two left backstage.

"I found Naomi," Hugh told the rest.

"Have we met?" Naomi asked.

"No, and I wish for it to stay that way," Hugh said. "Let's go."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** That guy doesn't seem very nice. I wonder how he's managed to survive as many eliminations as he has. He didn't get a statue, unlike Fauna.

* * *

Genesis had entered the boathouse as the Italics hung out outside.

"You know, I wonder why Osric got voted out last night," Quentin thought aloud.

"He seemed kind of creepy," Amelie said quietly.

"I didn't know him well, but I did see what kind of magazines he brought to the island," Ephraim said. "I can't say I blame his team for voting him out."

"Maybe, but he didn't really seem like a bad person per se," Quentin said. "He was always pretty friendly at the very least."

"I ship it," Jasper said cheekily.

"But I'm not gay," Quentin said.

"Heh. So?" Jasper chuckled.

"So that wouldn't make any sense," Quentin said, confused.

"That never stopped people," Jasper said.

"So, if I shipped you with Amelie, that'd be fine?" Quentin asked, genuinely curious.

"No, that'd make you a homophobic monster," Jasper giggled.

"Really?" Quentin asked. "How strange."

"I don't think I'm ready for a relationship anyway," Amelie said timidly.

Meanwhile, Genesis had searched through the boathouse when she moved a kayak aside, revealing Vardaman, who had been hiding behind it.

"Well, shucks," Vardaman said. "I was hopin' you'd give up after a while."

Genesis shook her head as she gestured for Vardaman to follow him. The two left the boathouse.

"Heyyyy, Vardy!" Jasper greeted.

"Howdy, y'all," Vardaman said awkwardly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I hope this challenge ends soon. I don't wanna be 'round Jasper much after this mornin'.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ This team has been surprisingly easy to find. I guess it makes sense, given that they're the overall stronger team, while mine is the overall smarter team.

* * *

Hugh and the Boldface had begun combing the beach for anyone who may have been hiding.

"Why on Earth would anyone hide on a beach?" Ursula asked. "It's not even a hiding spot."

"Someone could be in a blind spot or something," Hugh said. "Like the part of the beach that's behind the forest or the cliff or something."

"If you insist," Zarardo grinned.

"Don't condescend to me," Hugh huffed.

"As your king, I demand that you condescend to him some more," Warwick sneered.

"Well I would, but he probably wouldn't even know what I was doing," Zarardo said innocently.

"Screw you guys," Hugh said, annoyed.

"Come on, be nice to him," Naomi said. "His team's victory rests entirely on his shoulders. He has a lot of pressure."

"No it... no it doesn't," Hugh said.

"Well sure. It's up to you and only you to find everyone on our team," Naomi said genuinely.

"It's also on your team to not pick awful places to hide," Hugh said. "And, given how many of you I've found, I'd say I'm not the only one contributing to my team's victory here."

"I suppose it's all subjective," Phoenix said.

"Um, excuse me!" a voice shouted. "You guys just went and passed me! I won't stand for this ignorance!"

Everyone turned around to see Fauna.

"Whatever, just follow me," Hugh said uncaringly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fauna:** When I came across Hugh, he already had most of our team found. Are we really that easy to find? In retrospect, I probably should have stayed hidden, but my ongoing quest for equality got in the way. He passed me because I'm black, so I made myself known.

* * *

Genesis and the Italics searched through the forest.

"Y'know, it's a mighty big forest," Vardaman pointed out. "Ya sure you're gonna find someone?"

Genesis merely shrugged in response.

"That makes sense. Guess ya gotta look somewhere, right?" Vardaman asked.

Genesis nodded in response.

"Wawanakwa's a big island. Chris sure did his part to make sure this challenge went on for a while," Vardaman said.

"Maybe he's using this as an opportunity to have some 'alone time'," Jasper said as he wiggled his eyebrows.

"That's understandable. Hosting must be hard work, so some time off could be nice for him," Quentin said.

"The implication went straight over his head, didn't it?" Jasper muttered to Amelie.

"I think so," Amelie giggled.

"Makes me wonder what Lindsay does during the times when she isn't helping with a challenge," Ephraim thought aloud.

Genesis stopped and held her hand up to signal everyone else to stop. She pointed at a tree which had a mass of orange and gold in it.

"You think that's Mondo?" Ephraim asked.

Genesis nodded as she walked up to the tree and tossed a pinecone at the mass.

"Guess there's no point in pretending," Mondo sighed as he dropped down from the tree. He scanned over who was there. "At least I'm one of the last ones you found."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mondo:** I hope Hugh's doing alright. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm counting on Hugh to save us right now.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Honestly, that's a good question. What does Lindsay do most of the time? All she usually does is stand there and look pretty.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the staff lounge, Lindsay stood in place.

"Yo, Lindsay. Look alive," Chris said as he walked up to her. "Challenge is almost over and I'll need you to be there when I announce the results." Chris paused. "What are you doing?"

"Standing here and looking pretty," Lindsay smiled.

"Yeah, that's great. Just be ready to follow me to the campground once the challenge is over," Chris said as he walked up to the control panel. "Oh! Looks like one of the 'its' just found the last member of the other team." Chris picked up the microphone. "Attention, campers! This challenge is over! Report to the central campground immediately for the results!"

Chris walked to the exit of the staff lounge.

"Come on Lindsay, let's go look pretty somewhere else," Chris said.

"Oh, okay," Lindsay said as she followed him out.

* * *

Chris, Lindsay, and the sixteen contestants all met up at the central campground.

"It was a close challenge," Chris smiled. "This challenge was won by only one find. Not bad at all."

"We all know who won. Get on with it," Tori said.

"Alright, fine," Chris grumbled. "The winners of this challenge are..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"The Killer Boldface!" Chris finally announced.

"I am the hide and seek champion," Genesis texted with a smile.

"And congrats to Isidora for being the only one not to be found," Chris said.

"Where were you?" Hugh asked Isidora.

"The bathroom," Isidora answered.

"Seriously?!" Hugh exclaimed. "It was that easy?!"

"Yep. And thanks to Isidora's stealth as well as Genesis' finding skills, the Boldface have the night off," Chris said. "Italics, you'll have to see me later tonight for elimination. Until then, everyone's dismissed."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** Sometimes the best solutions are the simplest ones. Plus, I couldn't go very far in five minutes, so I hid somewhere discreet and closeby from the starting point. Guess it worked out.

 **Warwick:** Isidora is much smarter than she lets on. Perhaps if I wed her, our children will be geniuses!

 **Ursula:** This is fine. Gives me more time to figure out the dynamics of the team. I'm not playing passively anymore. I am winning this game.

 **Vardaman:** Well, time for another elimination. It occurs to me that my alliance doesn't currently have a target in mind. I should talk to them 'bout that.

 **Tori:** Ironic how the largest girl on this team was the last one to be found. I did choose an out-of-the-way spot, I suppose, so perhaps that had something to do with it.

 **Hugh:** For the past two eliminations, Mondo told me to just not get in the way of anything. Well screw that noise. I'm doing what I want this evening.

* * *

Amelie, Ephraim, Hugh, Jasper, and Mondo all met up at the beach.

"So, let's get this straight," Mondo said. "I'm aligned with Ephraim and Hugh. Ephraim is aligned with Amelie. Amelie is aligned with Jasper."

"Sounds about right," Ephraim nodded.

"I don't see what the deal is," Jasper said. "Easy majority right here."

"Mondo wants you gone because he has a big fat crush on you and doesn't want you distracting him," Hugh blurted.

"Dammit, Hugh," Mondo grumbled. "Shut up."

"Well, I don't know what to do about that," Jasper said. "If I'm not on your side, I could easily join the other side, we could tie, and that side could win the tie. You could be sacrificing your whole game over a silly crush."

"Ugh... you have a point," Mondo admitted. "Fine. You can join the alliance. But let it be known that you will be at the bottom of the alliance."

"That's still a good spot," Amelie insisted. "You won't go anywhere until after the other three are gone. And the merge is coming up, too, so you can make more allies there."

"You drive a hard bargain," Jasper smiled. "I'll definitely consider it."

"I don't need consideration. I need a concrete 'yes'," Mondo said firmly.

"Technically the concept of 'yes' is abstract," Jasper chuckled. "Alright, fine. I'll do it."

"Great. Here's to the merge," Ephraim smiled. "Now, who are we voting for?"

"Vardaman could be helpful if one of us gets hurt, so I want to keep him," Amelie said. "Tori kind of scares me. How about we vote for her?"

"I think we'd be plenty strong without Tori," Mondo nodded. "I like it.

"Tori it is," Jasper smiled. "Glad to be onboard," Jasper winked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mondo:** Having Jasper onboard is incredibly risky, but having him against me will be even more risky. I'm here to win this game to prove that being gay is not a detriment, so not letting a majority fall into my lap because I think a guy is cute is not in my best interest.

 **Ephraim:** I noticed Hugh was rather quiet during that meeting. Maybe he's taken my warning to heart. If so, I'm glad he's willing to be respectful to Amelie, even if it is for a reason other than "common decency".

 **Amelie:** I'm glad that my friend and Ephraim's friend can put aside their, well, similarities to work together. It's a little inspiring. _(She smiles.)_

* * *

Quentin, Tori, and Vardaman met up behind the washrooms.

"So, what's the plan?" Quentin asked.

"I ain't sure we got one right now," Vardaman admitted. "Any thoughts, Tori?"

"We could try to flush Mondo's statue again," Tori suggested. "Or we could get rid of Amelie, our weakest link."

"Actually, I have a proposition for you," Hugh said as he approached the three.

"What is it?" Quentin asked.

"You see, the three of you are on the bottom of this team," Hugh explained. "Mondo's trying to rally up the troops to get rid of you. Five against three, easy majority."

"Well shoot. I didn't know that," Vardaman said worriedly.

"Luckily for you, there's someone I'd rather have gone over you," Hugh said. "If you vote for Ephraim tonight, and only if you vote for Ephraim tonight, I will flip sides and align with you."

"Do we want someone like him in our alliance?" Quentin whispered to his allies.

"I don't believe he is lying," Tori said. "We may very well need him if we wish to survive."

"I'll give you time to think about it," Hugh said. "Just know that you'll never get an offer this great again for the rest of the game."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** _(He is chewing on a tongue depressor.)_ Hugh's a bit ornery, so I'm wonderin' if this is all a lie of some sort to try n' split the votes. I don't know.

 **Tori:** Vardaman wanted a target, and now we have one. I see no reason not to do as he says.

 **Quentin:** I don't trust Hugh. He told me that girls only like bad boys, which Isidora later told me is false. I'm not sure I want to do as he says.

* * *

Hugh found Jasper in the kitchen.

"Look, I have a proposition for you," Hugh said.

"Ooh, sneaky. Tell me," Jasper grinned.

"Vote for Ephraim," Hugh said.

"Ephraim, huh?" Jasper asked. "Okay, sure."

"Cool. You won't regret it," Hugh snickered as he left the kitchen.

Jasper gave the camera a sinister smile.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** Of course, I _could_ always just tell Mondo and the others about Hugh's little scheme here. That could be fun.

 **Hugh:** This plan is working masterfully. That'll show Mondo not to count me out. _(He snickers and puts his hands in his hoodie pocket. He pulls a playing card out of his pocket.)_ When did this get here?

* * *

The eight members of the Screaming Italics met up at the bonfire pit. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"Welcome back, Screaming Italics!" Chris greeted. "Soon, eight will become seven, and sixteen will become fifteen."

"Whoa. That's true..." Quentin realized.

"As for those of who who will be moving on, those people include..." Chris started.

"Amelie."

"Quentin."

"Vardaman."

"Mondo."

"Jasper."

"Tori."

Hugh looked surprised to be in the bottom two.

"What the hell?!" Hugh asked.

"Looks like the Italics are finally losing a boy. Maybe now Lindsay can stop complaining to me about it," Chris remarked. "Anyway, the boy who is safe is..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Hugh!" Chris finally announced.

"What?!" Ephraim gasped. "I... I did not see this coming."

"Oh no..." Amelie said, tears falling from her eyes.

Hugh simply smirked smugly as he ate his marshmallow.

"Looks like nobody's got anything to say," Chris said. "If anyone wants to see Ephraim off, you can follow us to the Dock of Shame. Everyone else can head to bed."

* * *

Ephraim, Amelie, Mondo, and Chris all came to the Dock of Shame.

"I'm going to miss you," Amelie said as she hugged Ephraim.

"I'll miss you too," Ephraim said. "We should have hung out more. I didn't think I'd be going home this soon."

"Who did?" Mondo asked. "We knew about Hugh betraying us and it still worked. How did that work?"

"Well, who else from our alliance isn't here right now?" Ephraim asked rhetorically.

"Jasper...?" Amelie asked. "But... but why? I thought he was my friend."

"He definitely has some explaining to do," Mondo frowned.

"Well, good luck to the both of you," Ephraim told his friends. "I'll be cheering the two of you on."

"Basic to the end," Chris grinned as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors. "Amelie and Mondo, you two can head to bed now. Any last words, Ephraim?"

"Mondo, I'm entrusting Amelie's safety to you," Ephraim said. "This bodyguard can't do his job anymore, so now it's up to you."

"Got it," Mondo nodded.

"Thanks, Ephraim. Goodbye," Amelie said with a sad smile as she and Mondo left the Dock.

Ephraim entered the Elevator of Losers.

"Ephraim, you have finished this game in 16th place," Chris said.

"With Hugh's constant betrayal, at least Stormy~ and I will have something to talk about," Ephraim chuckled.

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater. "Go ahead and say it, Lindsay."

"The Screaming Ignition finally voted out a boy!" Lindsay cheered as she arrived on-scene. "I was afraid they were really sexist."

"The only girl that the Boldface lost only went home because of a random draw," Chris pointed out. "Is that not sexist?"

Lindsay looked deep in thought.

"While she figures that out, I'm sure we still have questions," Chris said. "Will Hugh keep getting away with backstabbing his allies? Will Amelie manage to go without a mental breakdown now that Ephraim's gone? Will Tori tell her secret to anyone else?"

Lindsay continued thinking.

"She really does do nothing but stand there and look pretty," Chris remarked. "Anyway, will Ursula join up with Phoenix's alliance? Will Naomi pick a side? Will Warwick decide what to name his future country? I can hardly wait to find out myself."

Lindsay continued thinking.

"The answers, next time! On Total! _Drama_! _ALPHA PARTY_!" Chris finished. He turned to Lindsay. "I need to think of something for you to do sometime."

* * *

As the Italics went to their respective cabins, Quentin pulled Tori aside.

"Yes?" Tori asked.

"I... I still need to tell you my secret," Quentin said sheepishly.

"Ah, right," Tori said. She gave her friend a smile "I'm listening."

"Okay..." Quentin took a deep breath. "I... I really, really like you, Tori. Like, more than platonically."

"You do?" Tori asked, her face turning red.

"Yeah," Quentin said awkwardly, his face turning red as well. "I don't know, we've just become really good friends over the past week and a half, and I really like hanging out with you, and I feel like I can really trust you. Plus, you're really cute, which doesn't hurt. Oh man, I'm so embarrassed."

"Don't be," Tori smiled. "I... I return your feelings."

"You do? Really?" Quentin asked excitedly.

"I've had feelings for you for a while now," Tori admitted. "The fact that you still want to spend time with me despite my complete focus on exercise and my intimidating exterior... it means a lot."

"Oh, don't worry, I have no problem with the fact that you could kick my butt," Quentin chuckled. "If anything, I think it's pretty cool. I think you're pretty cool."

"So... should we make this official?" Tori asked.

"It's entirely up to you," Quentin said. "I know you want to focus on getting stronger, and I don't want to take away from that."

Tori embraced Quentin. "I can assure you that you will not. If anything, you give me another reason to become stronger."

"Geez, if I blush any harder, my face will explode," Quentin chuckled.

"That would be bad," Tori chuckled as she let go of Quentin. "I'll see you tomorrow. Sleep is important."

"That it is," Quentin nodded. "Goodnight, girlfriend."

"Goodnight, boyfriend," Tori smiled.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Hugh:** Ephraim's been a pain in my ass for a while now, but now he's threatening me? Bad move. I vote for Ephraim.

 **Ephraim:** Jasper told me about Hugh's little plan, and we all agreed to unanimously vote for Hugh, so Hugh it is.

 **Tori:** To weaken the opponent is to make yourself stronger, and getting rid of Ephraim will make them very weak. In light of this, I vote for Ephraim.

 **Mondo:** Hugh's a sneaky little bastard, isn't he? Well, I technically don't need his vote anymore, so he can go now.

 **Vardaman:** I s'pose there's little harm in votin' for Ephraim. I don't wanna risk puttin' my alliance in danger.

 **Amelie:** Why does Hugh have to be so mean? Well, I guess voting him out will keep him away from me at least.

 **Quentin:** The rest of my alliance insists that voting for Ephraim is a good call. I don't like it, but I don't want to make things messy, either. Sorry, but I vote for Ephraim.

 **Jasper:** Heh, I did tell Mondo's alliance about Hugh's plan, and I told them I'd tell Vardaman's alliance, which I didn't do, because voting for Ephraim is an opportunity too good to pass up. He's Amelie's only link to Mondo, so without Ephraim, Amelie will have no reason to stick with him, leaving her all to me. I could go on about why I'm voting for Ephraim, but I'll stop here and just say, for the record, that I vote for Ephraim.

* * *

 _A/N: I think, of all the cast members of Alpha Party, that Ephraim is the one I most believe that I could have done better. Looking back, he was a little bit bland. He was originally going to have his plot revolve entirely around Amelie, but I figured that'd get monotonous, so I had him branch out a bit. Even that didn't give him any more personality, but I think it kept him from being entirely unbearable at the very least._


	12. Ep 11: Too Gross for Comfort

_A/N: For those of you who don't read Explore Party, as I mentioned in my author's notes in that fic, I got a job recently, but since then I've actually been laid off (it was just a temp thing and my time ended. No big.)_

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, we played the island's largest game of hide and seek to date," Chris recapped.

"I thought this was a recreation of Wawanakwa," Lindsay said. "Wouldn't that mean it'd be the island's only game of hide and seek to date?"

"Okay, you are the last person who needs to be smart-mouthing me," Chris leered. "Anyway, on the Boldface side of things, Ursula wasn't too happy about Osric's elimination and began to seek revenge on Genesis for stabbing him in the back. Phoenix tried to take advantage of this by offering Ursula a spot on his alliance, but she has yet to give a final answer."

"Also Naomi is trying to stop Ursula and Genesis from fighting," Lindsay added.

"Meanwhile, with the Italics, Jasper was officially added into the alliance of Amelie, Ephraim, Hugh, and Mondo, with the intent to take out the tight Quentin/Tori/Vardaman trio," Chris continued. "Which might have worked had Ephraim not threatened Hugh, because Hugh managed to convince Jasper to flip on that alliance and vote Ephraim out."

"Ephraim got eliminated, but he told Mondo that he could look after Amelie," Lindsay said. "She may need it since she doesn't quite trust Jasper anymore."

"What will-"

"Wait!" Lindsay interrupted. "We almost forgot the most important part!"

Chris sighed. "You tell them. I don't care."

"Quentin and Tori are a couple now!" Lindsay clapped.

"Fascinating," Chris said flatly. "What will Amelie and Mondo do now that they're on the bottom? Where do Jasper's loyalties lie, if he has any at all? Will Quentin and Tori become a threat in the eyes of their teammates for being a couple?"

"Will Ursula join up with Phoenix?" Lindsay asked. "Will Fauna score any points of the POC? Will Isidora continue to lie low?"

"Find out, right here, on Total!"

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

Amelie sat across from Jasper during breakfasttime.

"Ah! Morning, Amelie!" Jasper greeted.

"Why did you vote for Ephraim?" Amelie asked distantly.

"What? I didn't vote for Ephraim," Jasper said innocently. "What gave you that idea?"

"Don't lie to me, Jasper," Amelie frowned. "Ephraim left without a tie. That means that he got the most votes. That would mean that everyone other than him, me, and Mondo would have to vote for him. So why did you vote for Ephraim?"

"Ooh. So confrontational~" Jasper giggled. "If you must know, he went around threatening people. I didn't want someone like that around."

"He wouldn't do that," Amelie denied.

"Then why would Hugh vote for him?" Jasper asked. "He's the one Ephraim threatened because he was messing with your or something. I just didn't want all this conflict on our team."

"Then why didn't you vote for Hugh?!" Amelie cried.

"Ephraim was a bigger threat," Jasper said nonchalantly. "He would have killed us all in the merge. I didn't want that."

Amelie sighed.

"This is a complicated game, babe," Jasper told her empathetically. "It wasn't the nicest move, but it was the best move, at least from my perspective."

"What about my perspective?" Amelie frowned.

"If you want things to go your way, then you should make them go your way," Jasper shrugged. "It's the hard truth of this game."

"Well... maybe I will!" Amelie pouted angrily as she stood up and walked away.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I don't have Ephraim by my side anymore, and I now know that Jasper doesn't have my best interest in mind either. It's just me and Mondo right now. But what can I do to fix that? I'm not exactly Queen Social Game here.

 **Jasper:** Tch. I thought Amelie would stick by me after Ephraim left, but I guess she figured me out. Great. Still, she is salvageable, and even if she wasn't, I'm sure I could just stick with Hugh and that alliance of three and vote her out anyway.

* * *

Phoenix found Ursula sitting on a tombstone alone in the pet cemetery.

"Thought I'd find you here," Phoenix said.

"Alright, fine!" Ursula snapped.

"...Huh?" Phoenix asked.

"I'll join your alliance," Ursula said. "I'm going to win this for Osric, and an alliance is probably the best way to go."

"Glad to hear it," Phoenix said with a slight smile.

"Oh my word, you actually showed human feelings," Ursula said, surprised. "Did that come with the 4.0 update?"

Phoenix chuckled at this. "You're pretty funny."

"Hey, I'm taken, buster," Ursula smirked.

"I wasn't trying to flirt. Just paying a compliment," Phoenix said. "I refuse to allow my emotions to play a part in this game, so even if I did feel that way about you, you wouldn't know."

"Ooh, so you could have a crush on someone here and I wouldn't even know," Ursula chuckled.

"I could," Phoenix said.

"I'm going to find out who she is and tell everyone," Ursula chuckled. "Actually, no, I'm just going to tell every girl that you like her and watch the fireworks."

"Please don't," Phoenix said. "That could throw the entire team's dynamics off."

"Haha. You don't care if I embarrass you, but if I mess with the game all of a sudden you're worried," Ursula pointed out.

"I've been a fan of this show from the beginning," Phoenix said. "I don't want to squander my only chance at winning it."

"Eh, All-Stars is a thing probably," Ursula shrugged.

"I'm flattered that you think I might qualify for that," Phoenix said with a small smile.

"Your emotion's showing again. Better be careful," Ursula snickered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** Eh, I kinda get where Phoenix is coming from, but strategy isn't everything in this game. I wouldn't care half as much about going home if not for the friends I've made and the fun I'm having. Unless strategy is the only thing he's programmed to find fun, which is entirely possible.

 **Phoenix:** Well, with Ursula now a part of the alliance, I can rest easy. Next time the vote happens, things should happen my way.

* * *

Quentin awoke from his top bunk, stretched, and hopped off. In his daze, however, he forgot to land on his feet, and fell prostrate onto the floor, right in front of Vardaman, who had been sitting on his own bed.

"Quentin! You alright?" Vardaman gasped.

"I'm more than alright," Quentin said dopily. "I feel like I could take off and soar with the birds."

"What's got you so happy?" Vardaman asked.

"I've got a girlfriend," Quentin beamed as he stood up.

"Well I'll be. Good for you. Who is it?" Vardaman smiled.

"Tori," Quentin blushed.

"Y'know, I always thought you two would make a cute couple," Vardaman said. "Good for y'all."

"I haven't felt this good for as long as I can remember," Quentin smiled. "You should get a girlfriend too."

"Aw, I dunno," Vardaman said as he rubbed the back of his head. "I don't think I know any of the girls well enough for the both of us to want to date each other."

"Well, you should go meet some," Quentin urged. "Amelie's still on our team, and there's a couple girls on the other team who seem really nice."

"Well Naomi told me Ursula's taken," Vardaman mentioned.

"You're talking to Naomi, huh?" Quentin asked. "See, you're already on the right track."

"Well, she is real cute, but I don't know her all that well, on account of us bein' on different teams n' all," Vardaman admitted.

"Well hey, you have time," Quentin said. "Since Hugh's on our side now, we have the majority, so you're in no danger of going home."

"I suppose so," Vardaman nodded. "Of course, Hugh has no place in our alliance. After all, he turned on his old alliance to vote with us. Can't trust someone who does that."

"Agreed," Quentin nodded. "Anyway, see you later."

"See ya," Vardaman said with a tip of his hat.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I'll be honest, I'm a bit surprised things worked out for us last night. No one from our alliance was in the bottom two. Maybe the others found out that Hugh was tryin' to play sneaky n' tried to vote him out. And yet, we had a clear majority. Guess that means Jasper voted for Ephraim too. Jasper's always been a tricky critter, but I probably couldn't bring it up to anyone without bein' intolerant somehow.

 **Quentin:** You know what? Life is good. Maybe I'm not sapping everyone's luck right now. Maybe I just had it all stored up for the big moment where I got an awesome girlfriend. Though, if that's the case, what's up with Lester, Xingrong, and Kelsey going so early? Eh, Tori and Vardaman are still here, so I guess that's all that matters right now. No offense to those eliminated of course.

* * *

Fauna and Genesis both sat on their respective beds in the girls' cabin. Fauna read an issue of _Ebony_ , while Genesis played a game on her phone.

"They need to make the people in this magazine look darker," Fauna mumbled. "It's not like white people read it. They won't care."

"May I ask a question?" Genesis texted.

"Sure. What is it?" Fauna asked.

"Where did this all start?" Genesis texted. "Your hatred towards white people?"

"Oh, as long as I can remember," Fauna said. "Even as a little girl, I was always annoyed at how many white people they had on TV compared to the number of black people. Yeah, I watched _Kenan and Kel_ and _The Proud Family_ and those shows, but even those still had a bunch of white people."

"Well, they make up the majority of the population in Canada," Genesis texted. "It'd be a bit weird if there wasn't at least one white person."

"Well I long for a world that has no white people," Fauna said. "Never before have I seen a group of people who's more selfish, condescending, and privileged than white people. Eugh."

"I've never noticed it getting that bad," Genesis texted with a shrug.

"Which is weird, because you're Hispanic and disabled. You'd think all the able-bodied white people would do whatever they could to make your life a living hell," Fauna thought aloud.

"Surprisingly, it hasn't been an issue," Genesis texted.

"You sound just like my cousin," Fauna said.

"Your cousin?" Genesis texted.

"Yeah, my cousin Marissa," Fauna explained. "We live real close to each other and go to the same school, so I see her a lot. She hangs out with these white people and plays white people games and says that she sees no problem with it. It's disgusting."

"What exactly are 'white people games'?" Genesis texted with a raised eyebrow.

"Those nerd games where you get all this paper and dice and pretend you're going on an adventure," Fauna explained. "She's all 'You can make your character black', but that's not the point! The point is that she's hanging out with these white people like there isn't a fucking problem!"

"Have you had bad experiences with white people?" Genesis texted.

"Yes, though apparently I'm the only one," Fauna spat. "Outside of my friends on Tumblr, of course. I don't know where I'd be without them."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ She'd probably be a lot quieter and more tolerable without them, but what do I know?

 **Fauna:** Thankfully, Tumblr is a safe space where I can be free from the oppression of white people and practice free speech without people accusing me of "racism". Hello! Reverse racism does not exist! How hard is that to understand?!

* * *

Mondo found Hugh sitting on his own at Mt. Looming Tragedy.

"Hugh," Mondo said sternly.

"Ugh, what do you want?" Hugh whined. "And how did you find me?"

"I asked around," Mondo answered. "Mind telling me why the hell you turned on Ephraim?"

"Um, because I hate him?" Hugh answered snidely.

"What the hell happened to our alliance?!" Mondo snapped.

"Please. We both knew that you were never going to keep me around after the get-along gang joined up with us," Hugh scoffed.

"We were _going_ to vote for Tori," Mondo pointed out.

"But I don't hate Tori. I only mildly dislike her," Hugh responded. "Meanwhile, I had an opportunity to vote out Ephraim, so I took it."

"What did Ephraim ever do to you?" Mondo growled.

"Let's see, he was constantly on my ass when I never did anything to him, always telling me what to do, always telling me who I can and can't talk to, oh, and he threatened to get me voted off," Hugh listed. "Besides, you turned on Kelsey, and her worst crime was being bossy. Who the hell are you talk?"

Mondo opened his mouth, but no words came out.

"Yeah, so stop the with self-righteous 'how dare you not do as I say' attitude," Hugh continued. "At least Kelsey had the decency to ask everyone else what they thought before making a decision. You just tell me 'this is what we're doing, so stay out of the way'. Well, I'm out of your way now. No need to worry about me being that dumbass spare vote you thought I was. Because I don't vote on your behalf anymore."

Mondo remained speechless.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mondo:** I can't believe this... I won't allow this! I'm not just going to let Hugh of all people kick me in the ass and be the cause of my downfall.

 **Hugh:** Singlehandedly taking down the big strong leader of a majority alliance? Talk about major bad boy cred. I've taken out his most trusted ally, and I'm thinking he'll be next. That statue of his might be concerning, but I'll find a way around it.

* * *

Zarardo found Isidora sitting on her rock and reading.

"Ah, good morning, Isidora," Zarardo greeted.

"Yo," Isidora said half-heartedly, not looking away from her book.

"It's been a while since we've really talked," Zarardo pointed out. "A bit odd since we're in two alliances together."

"Eh, I don't talk to a lot of people. Don't take it personally," Isidora shrugged.

"Of course not," Zarardo said. "Actually, I'm here to discuss our relationship."

"Excuse me?" Isidora asked with a raised eyebrow as she finally looked at Zarardo.

"Like I said, the two of us are both in two different alliances together," Zarardo said. "It's clear that there's no avoiding each other. What say we make a final two deal?"

"Is that your way of hitting on me?" Isidora asked.

"No. I mean an actual final two deal," Zarardo said flatly. "No obligations to Warwick or Phoenix. Just the two of us running the game from the background. What do you say?"

"Yeah, it still sounds like you're hitting on me," Isidora said. "And I'm not interested."

"Really? Do you trust me so little?" Zarardo asked.

"Yes," Isidora said bluntly.

"I see..." Zarardo said. "Fine. We don't need to form a final two deal, but don't say I never offered to help you."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I don't need Zarardo's help here. Okay, I might, but agreeing to take him to the final two would be foolish. Final twos in Total Drama are always physical challenges, and not only is he the strongest person on our team, but I'm the weakest person probably in the game. Besides, like I said, I always found him kind of shifty.

 **Zarardo:** _(He is playing with his Fushigi ball.)_ Offering Isidora a final two deal was merely a formality. I thought she'd go for it given how poor she is at this game in general and could use the extra security, but if she doesn't want it, then that's her loss. I certainly don't need her help.

* * *

Vardaman found Tori in the kitchen, fixing herself a meal.

"Mornin', Tori," Vardaman smiled with a tip of his hat.

"Good morning yourself, Vardaman," Tori smiled back.

"I see someone's happy," Vardaman winked. "Don't reckon it has anythin' to do with Quentin?"

"He told you, did he?" Tori blushed. "Yes, Quentin and I are in a relationship now. But I refuse to let it distract me from my goal of getting stronger. I can't slouch, lest I lose the strength to protect him."

"Well that sounds mighty admirable of you," Vardaman told her. "I wish nothin' but the best for you both."

"I appreciate that," Tori smiled. "By the way, do we have a plan of who to eliminate next?"

"I ain't sure," Vardaman admitted. "I want Jasper gone, but I don't think that'd necessarily be easy."

"Well, Quentin and I are always on your side, and I don't see anyone else being opposed to the idea either," Tori said.

"Of course, it may be best to get rid of Mondo's statue now while we still can," Vardaman added.

"Perhaps we could convince Mondo to vote for Jasper, and then we take out his statue," Tori suggested.

"...Victoria Hotate, you are a genius!" Vardaman complimented.

"I was tested, and I am not, in fact, a genius," Tori told him. "Still, I'd rather not be seen as smart. Being smart and strong would make me too big of a threat."

"I gotcha," Vardaman nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Wait, does that mean I'm a threat? Well, I don't think I've gotten any votes in a while, so I don't seem to be in any danger. Course, you shouldn't really think that way in this game, 'cause you never know for sure. Ah well. Tori's got a good plan, n' I look forward to seein' it in action.

 **Tori:** I told Vardaman about my life before becoming strong, how I was a gangly nerd, but I didn't tell him why I changed my ways. He's nice, but I don't trust him the way I do Quentin.

* * *

Warwick sat on a chair at the top of the thousand-foot cliff when Naomi made her way to the top.

"Gasp! What are you doing here?" Warwick asked.

"Well, I haven't practiced skating in a while, even though I keep falling over, so I figured I'd make up for it by doing some EX-TREME! practice," Naomi explained. "I'm gonna skate down the cliff and off the Dock of Shame, trying not to crash into anything along the way. More importantly, why do you have a chair here?"

"I ordered Zarardo to construct me a throne for my domain," Warwick bragged.

"It looks like one of the chairs they keep backstage at the amphitheatre," Naomi pointed out.

"Well no idea is truly original!" Warwick insisted.

"Does that mean you stole the idea to become king of your own country from someone else?" Naomi asked.

"Of course not!" Warwick said, flabbergasted.

"I'm confused," Naomi admitted.

"That's because you're a whelp!" Warwick huffed.

"I'm not a whelp! You're a whelp!" Naomi cried.

"No, you're a whelp!" Warwick insisted.

"Nay, for thou art a whelp!" Naomi insisted.

"How dare you use my royalty against me!" Warwick cried.

"Forsooth, thou art truly the whelpiest of whelps," Naomi grinned. "Thine sole name blisters our tongues from sheer whelp-osity!"

"Now you just sound like Xingrong," Warwick pouted.

"I dunno, all I know is I heard someone say that once and thought it sounded cool," Naomi shrugged. "Minus the whelp part. That was the extra little Naomi spin I put on it."

"Oh go skate down a cliff," Warwick said dismissively.

"Maaaaaaaaybe I will!" Naomi said as she did just that. On her way down, she tripped on a pebble and tumbled down the cliff.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** I can deal with Fauna's racism, and I can even look past Genesis trying to get me eliminated, but Naomi is reaching Xingrong levels of pissing me off! Perhaps I'll just have to do to her what I did to Xingrong. Ohohohoho!

 **Naomi:** _(She has band-aids all over her face, arms, and legs.)_ On the plus side, I got to spend a _lot_ of extra time with Vardaman because of this.

* * *

Amelie and Mondo met up on the Dock of Shame.

"I talked to Jasper," Amelie told Mondo. "He pretty much admitted that he voted for Ephraim."

"I talked to Hugh," Mondo told Amelie. "He pretty much told me to get lost and to go screw myself."

"And we can't do anything about it," Amelie frowned.

"I don't know," Mondo said. "Do you think the other three would take us in if we asked?"

"Quentin, Tori, and Vardaman?" Amelie asked.

"Yeah. Do you think, if we asked them to, they'd vote for Hugh or Jasper alongside us?" Mondo asked.

"It's possible..." Amelie thought aloud. "But what if they say no? We have been against them for a while. They probably don't trust us."

"Well, we'll never know unless we try," Mondo said. "Besides, it's our only option at this point."

"I guess..." Amelie said. "Oh, we're screwed, aren't we?"

"No, we can do this," Mondo assured her. "I managed to find my way into the majority before, and I can do it again."

"I guess..." Amelie said.

"Hey. Ephraim would want you to stay strong and keep going," Mondo told her. "I've actually noticed quite an improvement from you since day one. Before, you'd barely talk to anyone besides Ephraim, and now here you are, discussing strategy with me. I have faith that you can keep it up."

Amelie smiled. "Thank you," she said. "I needed that."

"No problem," Mondo smiled back. "So, any thoughts on anything?"

"Asking the other three sounds good," Amelie nodded. "Actually, one thing I've always meant to ask you: is Mondo short for something?"

"Haha, no, but it _is_ a nickname," Mondo told her. "My real name is Marcus, so I'm not breaking any alphabet rules or anything, but the guys on the team always called me Mondo for, uh, reasons that they only know from the locker room."

"Oh!" Amelie reacted, her face turning bright red.

"Yeah..." Mondo chuckled. "So, is Amelie short for something, or...?"

"No, that's my name," Amelie told him.

"I always thought it was short for Amelina or something," Mondo chuckled.

"No, no," Amelie giggled. "It's like 'Amelia', but with an E at the end instead of an A."

"Ohhh, that makes sense," Mondo nodded. "I always mentally spelled it like Emily but with an A instead of an E."

"I can see why that'd make sense," Amelie chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Mondo's actually really fun to talk to. Though now I know why he's called Mondo, I feel a bit dirty calling him that. Maybe I'll just call him Marcus from now on.

 **Mondo:** While I'm not sure Amelie would open up to me so easily if I wasn't friends with Ephraim, I'm glad she and I are starting to trust each other, because it's us against the world right now. Though, I do have to notice that she became friends with both me and Jasper, two gay guys. Almost makes me wonder about Ephraim. Probably not, but you never know.

* * *

Warwick approached Isidora, who had continued to read on her rock.

"Isidora!" Warwick greeted.

Isidora sighed. "Yes?" she asked.

"I have decided that we should be rid of Naomi as soon as possible!" Warwick declared.

"Cool. Go tell Zarardo," Isidora said dismissively.

"Wait! I am not finished," Warwick pouted.

"Yes?" Isidora sighed.

"I have decided that you should, in fact, be my queen," Warwick said.

"I thought I was your princess," Isidora pointed out.

"Yes, but I'll need a queen if I want my royal family to continue on for generations to come, and since you seem pretty smart, our children will be geniuses! You know, if, uh, that's okay with you, and all."

"Sure," Isidora said.

"Really?" Warwick asked, astonished.

"Yeah," Isidora said. "When's the wedding?"

"Uhhhh..." Warwick trailed off. "We can decide together, fiancee of mine!"

"I don't know my schedule off the top of my head," Isidora said. "I'll IM you after the game is over."

"I look forward to it!" Warwick said. "The day that you become Queen Isidora the First will go down in history!"

"Cool," Isidora said half-heartedly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** Obviously I'm not going to marry him because I'm never going to see him again after this game. But, of course, if he thinks I'm his fiancee, he's never going to vote me out, and will probably be more inclined to listen to what I have to say. I don't really have any super-loyal allies, so having Warwick be unconditionally loyal to me is a start.

 **Warwick:** Yes! Not only do I have someone else to vote for Naomi, but now I have a smart and attractive future wife! A second-in-command to help govern the fine nation of... whatever it'll be called.

* * *

Quentin and Tori went to their usual spot in the forest where Tori worked out. Today she lifted a heavy log above her head.

"That's really impressive," Quentin complimented. "How long have you been able to do that?"

"A log of this size? Probably at least a year," Tori answered.

"Whoaaaaa," Quentin said in awe. "Is there anything you can't do?"

"Well, I can't do long division in my head," Tori chuckled.

"I used to be able to, but my teacher got mad at me and made me stop," Quentin admitted.

"Why would your teacher get mad at you for doing long division in your head?" Tori asked.

"I dunno," Quentin shrugged. "I guess she cared more about the way I did it than the fact that I did it at all."

"That's ridiculous," Tori said. "If there are two ways to reach the exact same result, and one is easier and faster than the other, why not go with the easier and faster way?"

"...Whoa," Quentin said. "I never really thought about it like that."

"You just accepted that you shouldn't do it because your teacher said not to?" Tori asked.

"I mean, she's the teacher for a reason," Quentin shrugged. "Plus, I'm kind of a bird brain sometimes, so I trust the judgment of others more than myself usually."

"You shouldn't think so little of yourself," Tori told Quentin.

"I guess not," Quentin said. "After all, I won you over, didn't I? You're, like, way out of my league."

"Funny. I thought the exact same thing about you," Tori smirked.

"Aw, geez," Quentin blushed. "You're too sweet."

"You're the nicest person I've ever met, Quentin," Tori said. "If anyone here is sweet, it is you."

"If we keep it up, we'll be arguing all day over who's sweeter," Quentin chuckled.

"I doubt it. I could write an entire essay on why you're sweeter," Tori smiled.

"Alright, you win," Quentin chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Quentin:** Tori's just an awesome person. I barely talked to her before Kelsey roped the both of us into an alliance, but I have to say, I'm glad Kelsey did that. I hope her ankle's feeling better.

 **Tori:** I must wonder if Vardaman will become a third wheel in our alliance now that Quentin and I are dating. I won't deny that, if I was forced to eliminate one of them, I'd pick Vardaman, and I think Quentin will feel the same way. I guess we'll just have to avoid any situation in which we'd have to pick between each other.

* * *

Genesis stood in the bathroom while her phone was plugged into a charger which was plugged into an electrical outlet. Just then, Naomi skated in.

"Oh! Hey! Genesis!" Naomi greeted.

Genesis gave Naomi a small wave.

"I still can't believe they have outlets in here but not in the cabins," Naomi said.

Genesis shrugged.

"Hey, can we talk about something?" Naomi asked. "Can you talk while your phone is charging?"

Genesis picked her phone up and began to type into it.

"What do you want to talk about?" Genesis texted.

"Osric," Naomi said.

"What about him?" Genesis texted with a look that reflected suspicion towards Naomi.

"Why did you feel like you had to vote for him?" Naomi asked. "Yesterday you said that you did what you thought you had to do, but why did you think you had to vote for Osric?"

"Did Ursula tell you to ask me this?" Genesis texted.

"No, this is me asking you," Naomi said. "We're in the Super Secret Duo together, but that doesn't mean we should keep secrets from each other, right?"

"I didn't have much faith in Osric, Ursula, or Zarardo," Genesis texted. "I knew I could trust you because of our final two deal, but I wasn't sure about the others. So I decided to join up with Fauna, Phoenix, and Yolonda as a backup. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to think I was betraying you, and I couldn't ask them to let you join because of how Fauna is with white people."

"I see..." Naomi said. "Thanks for the explanation."

"Do you still trust me?" Genesis texted.

"I do, but I also trust Ursula," Naomi said. "I just wish you two could trust each other."

"I don't see that happening," Genesis texted. "Same with Zarardo, though he was barely a presence in our alliance."

"I wish I knew about you not trusting the others," Naomi frowned. "I could try to help and this all could have been avoided."

"Well, what's done is done," Genesis texted.

"Attention, campers!" Chris's voice rang over the PA system. "It's time for your next challenge! Report to the mess hall, asap!"

"Guess we'd better go," Naomi said.

Genesis nodded as she left her phone to charge.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** One thing I've learned is that communication is everything in this game. I guess that's not easy for Genesis, which is why I'm impressed that she's done as well as she has. Then again, she is really smart too.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Naomi's a sweet girl, and I definitely intend to take her to the endgame, if for no other reason than her loyalty to me. I know she's aligned with Ursula, but Ursula is targeting me, so I need to nip that problem in the bud. It may end up coming down to her choosing between me and Ursula, and I have faith that she'll keep me over the girl who literally scared the piss out of her once.

* * *

The fifteen contestants met up at the mess hall, where Chris and Lindsay awaited.

"Welcome, campers, to today's challenge," Chris grinned. "What we have for you today is a TD classic: the Brunch of Disgustingness."

"How iron-rich is this brunch?" Isidora asked.

"I dunno. It's not supposed to be healthy for you," Chris shrugged.

"I did make sure it's all vegetarian-safe, though," Lindsay chirped.

"I don't think any of us are vegetarians," Ursula pointed out.

"Anyway, today's Brunch will be different from Brunches past," Chris said. "Here's how it's going to work." He gestured at the table layout. The tables had been rearranged so that they were on either side of a podium. "Seven of you from each team will sit at your team's table. The first course will be given to the person sitting farthest away from the table. If you don't think you can finish your course, you can pass it to the person next to you that is closer to the podium. You cannot pass your meal back farther away to to podium, only closer. There are seven courses, and everyone will eat one course. Every round, the person furthest from the podium who has still not eaten will get the course, meaning once you've eaten a plate of food, that's it. You're done with the challenge, and you'll have to rely on your teammates from then on. You will be scored by overall time. The team whose combined time between all seven courses is lower will win Invincibility. Any questions?"

"What happens if you start on a meal, but decide you don't want to finish it? Can you pass it closer to the podium?" Mondo asked.

"Nope. Once you've started, you can't stop until you've finished your plate," Chris grinned.

"Sounds like strategy is important for this one," Vardaman said.

"By the way, who on the Boldface is sitting out?" Chris asked. "Can't be Naomi since she was the last one on her team to sit out."

Everyone's eyes turned to Isidora.

"Eh, it's just food. I'll live," Isidora shrugged.

"I'll sit out of this one," Phoenix said. "I get nauseated pretty easily, I'm afraid."

"That reminds me, what's the policy on throwing up?" Fauna asked. "We don't have to eat our own vomit for it to count, do we?"

"That would have been the case, had Zappy McPrudeyface here not objected to that," Chris huffed.

"No, if you throw up, then you just have to finish whatever you haven't eaten, and you'll get an extra fifteen seconds added to your overall time," Lindsay explained.

"Fifteen seconds each time you throw up, or just the first time?" Quentin asked.

"Just the first time," Lindsay answered.

"Anything else?" Chris asked.

Silence.

"Great. Take your spots so we can get this game started!" Chris announced.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I don't have a particularly weak stomach, but I ended up farthest from the podium. I guess everyone else was confident in their own abilities.

 **Warwick:** I have a stomach of steel. I probably won't even need a cup-bearer when I'm king. I could probably take any poison they try to send my way.

 **Ursula:** I've gotten sick eating too much candy a lot in the past. I know my limits, so I chose to sit far from the podium, but not the farthest, because I don't want to look weak either.

 **Jasper:** I'm a picky eater, so I sat far away from the podium so I could keep passing on my meals. I'll have to eat eventually, but at least I'll get to pick what I eat.

 **Amelie:** I'm a bit wary with what they might serve. It could be something completely inedible, like rocks, or just a foreign delicacy that we in Canada don't normally eat, like bull testicles. Not to be stereotypical, but maybe being raised by a Chinese father and Vietnamese mother could help me in this challenge. Asian countries are known to eat some pretty crazy things by Western standards.

 **Hugh:** I chose the very middle spot because while I don't want to look weak, I don't want to overestimate my own abilities either.

* * *

The contestants took their seats at the tables. For the Italics, from furthest to closest to the podium, were Jasper, Amelie, Quentin, Hugh, Mondo, Tori, and Vardaman. For the Boldface were Genesis, Naomi, Ursula, Isidora, Fauna, Zarardo, and Warwick.

"Alright, we have our positions," Chris said. "Lindsay! Bring us the first dish!"

Lindsay emerged from the kitchen with two covered platters. The covers each had a number 1 painted on them. She put them in front of Genesis and Jasper.

"Campers, reveal your plates!" Chris announced.

Genesis and Jasper took the covers off of their platters to see bowls full of what looked to be rice.

"Course one: maggots!" Chris beamed.

"I thought Chef Hatchet called people maggots," Quentin said.

"No, no, this bowl is full of actual fly larvae," Chris chuckled.

Genesis and Jasper both looked at their bowls with disturbed faces.

"The dishes only get grosser as the challenge goes on, Jasper," Hugh said. "Just suck it up. You know, like you usually do."

Mondo smacked Hugh on the back of the head.

"Do we at least get spoons?" Jasper asked.

"You must be mistaking me for someone who would give you spoons," Chris remarked. Lindsay set off his shock collar.

Genesis and Jasper each picked up their bowls and brought them to their faces to drink the contents.

"You got this, Genny!" Naomi encouraged.

"'Genny'?" Ursula asked with a raised eyebrow.

"She's still my friend, okay?" Naomi frowned.

"Eugh! Nasty!" Jasper whined as he set his unfinished bowl down.

Genesis shuddered as she set her unfinished bowl down.

"Don't let the POC down!" Fauna told Genesis.

"You can do it, Jasper," Quentin smiled.

Genesis picked her bowl up and slurped up the rest of the maggots. She set her bowl down, trying not to throw up.

Jasper, noticing Genesis' lead, followed suit, finishing a few seconds after her.

"And that's the round!" Chris announced. "Time for the second course. Lindsay!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ That was disgusting, but in the grand scheme of things, it's probably the least disgusting thing I could have eaten. If I know Chris, and I think I do, it'll only get worse from here.

 **Jasper:** That was seriously gross. I was this close to puking, I swear.

* * *

Lindsay brought covered platters with the number 2 painted on them and set them in front of Amelie and Naomi.

"Reveal your plates!" Chris commanded.

Amelie and Naomi removed the covers from their platters to reveal a plate of green, pod-looking plants.

"Here we have the buds of the Brassica oleracea plants," Chris said. "Better known as the scourge of children everywhere, Brussels sprouts!"

"Ewwwwwwwwww!" Naomi whined.

"What? Brussels sprouts are good," Phoenix told her.

"Are not!" Naomi said as she passed her plate to Ursula.

"Gross, I don't want them," Ursula scowled as she passed her plate to Isidora.

As this happened, Amelie had passed her plate to Quentin, who passed the plate to Hugh, who passed the plate to Mondo.

"I like Brussels sprouts," Mondo said.

"They're good in iron," Isidora said. "As someone with an iron deficiency, I feel like eating these is my best bet."

The two teens began eating their plates of Brussels sprouts.

"I probably would have eaten those," Tori thought aloud.

"Me too, but what can you do?" Vardaman shrugged. "'Sides, we're sitting near the middle for a reason. We ain't picky."

"True," Tori said.

"Well I am," Warwick said from his side of the podium. "I can't stand vegetables."

"I noticed," Tori said bluntly as she glanced at Warwick's gut.

"If you're picky, why sit near the middle where you can't give up your plate?" Vardaman asked.

"It's supposed to be food we don't like, so I'll be suffering either way," Warwick said. "Plus, I have a strong stomach."

"Fair enough," Vardaman said.

"Done!" Mondo announced.

"Seriously?!" Isidora asked, her plate still half-full.

"Pick up the pace!" Fauna shouted.

"Oh, I was just going slow for the hell of it, but since you insisted..." Isidora remarked.

"Do we get our next course already?" Hugh asked.

"No, wait for Isidora to finish," Chris said. "It's not costing you any time."

"Tch," Hugh responded.

After about thirty seconds, Isidora finished her plate of Brussels sprouts.

"Done," Isidora said.

"That's the round!" Chris announced. "Lindsay, course three, if you'd be so kind."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I never said I _liked_ Brussels sprouts, but eh, it's better than maggots.

 **Mondo:** I'll be honest, I found the sprouts a bit undercooked, but I still enjoyed them nonetheless.

* * *

Lindsay set covered platters with the number 3 painted on them in front of Amelie and Naomi.

"Reveal the plates!" Chris smiled.

Amelie and Naomi lifted the platters to reveal what looked to be a Chinese take-out box.

"Oh, this shouldn't be so bad," Amelie smiled.

"'Should' being the key word here," Chris chuckled.

The girls opened the flaps of their respective boxes, and their noses instantly wrinkled.

"Month-old leftover chow mein!" Chris announced.

"Nope," Naomi said as she passed her plate over to Ursula.

"I'll pass too," Amelie said as she passed her plate to Quentin.

The campers continued to pass their plates until they ended up in front of Tori and Warwick, who began eating.

"This might not be so bad if not for the lack of utensils," Tori remarked.

"Speak for yourself," Warwick chuckled. "It's gross, but I'm not going to lose my lunch over it."

"That makes one of us," Phoenix shuddered as he threw up in his mouth a little.

"This is quite easy for Your Majesty, no?" Zarardo asked.

"Too easy," Warwick grinned.

"How are you holding up?" Quentin asked Tori.

"I'm managing," Tori said. "It tastes horrendous, but then that's the point of the challenge."

"Done!" Warwick announced.

"And I as well," Tori said shortly after.

Chris paused.

"Well?" Fauna asked.

"Just waiting to see if they lose their lunch," Chris said.

"I don't plan to," Tori said.

"I feel nothing," Warwick boasted.

"Alrighty then. Lindsay, course four," Chris said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Tori:** I'll admit, I had to work to keep it down, but I wasn't going to risk costing my team the challenge.

 **Warwick:** Hmm... did Chris save that Chinese for a month solely for this challenge, or did he just happen to have it on hand and decided to put it to use? The great mysteries of life.

* * *

Lindsay set covered platters with the number 4 on them in front of Amelie and Naomi.

"Reveal the plates, girls," Chris ordered.

Amelie and Naomi removed the covers from their platters to reveal what looked to be a clear-and-black egg.

"Is this a century egg?" Amelie asked.

"Correctamundo, Amelie," Chris said. "For those who don't know, a century egg is a fowl egg that has been preserved in clay for months until the yolk turns black and the whites turn clear."

"Why is this a thing?" Naomi asked as she passed her plate to Ursula, who passed the plate to Fauna.

"I've had these before. They're a Chinese delicacy," Amelie said as she took a bite. "I actually kind of like them."

"Well I'm not going to be disrespectful of other cultures, so I'm going to eat it," Fauna insisted as she stuffed the entire egg in her mouth, only to make a face upon tasting it.

"It's an acquired taste," Amelie said between bites.

"I'm impressed," Jasper winked.

"You sure you can do this, Fauna?" Zarardo asked.

"I love it! It tastes great!" Fauna insisted with her mouth full.

"Your eyes are watering," Zarardo pointed out.

"I'm deeply moved by how good it tastes!" Fauna cried.

"All done," Amelie said as she finished the egg.

Fauna forced herself to swallow the egg, which resulted in her throwing it back up on her plate.

Genesis cringed in response to this.

"I'm calling that the end of the round," Chris said. "Lindsay, time for course five!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I didn't expect to do so well in this challenge. I guess I got lucky, huh?

 **Fauna:** For the record, me throwing up was because of how sick I got thinking that Chris is appropriating Chinese culture by feeding us these eggs. It wasn't that I thought the egg tasted bad. I'm not racist.

* * *

Lindsay placed the number 5 platters in front of Naomi and Quentin.

"Reveal your plates!" Chris commanded.

The two took their platters off to reveal a smooth rock on each plate, roughly the size of a standard belt buckle.

"I got a rock," Quentin said.

"Yup. Nothing expired or bitter, just plain old river rocks," Chris chuckled.

Both campers passed their plate to the next person, which happened to be Hugh and Ursula.

"Pfft. I can do this," Hugh boasted.

"I'll do it, in the spirit of Charlie Brown and all the rocks he got for Halloween," Ursula decided. "...So, are you supposed to chew this, or what?"

Hugh put the whole rock in his mouth and forced himself to swallow it. Ursula noticed this and followed suit.

"This doesn't seem very safe," Lindsay said.

"Eh, they're fine," Chris shrugged.

Just then, Hugh began coughing violently and hunching over.

"He's chokin'!" Vardaman shouted as he stood up, ran up behind Hugh, and performed the Heimlich maneuver on him. Eventually, the rock flew out of Hugh's mouth and across the room.

"Are you alright?" Vardaman asked.

"I just choked on a rock. What do you think, artard?" Hugh responded.

"How are you holding up?" Naomi asked Ursula.

Ursula forced a smile as she gave Naomi a thumbs-up.

"Do I have to try and eat this again?" Hugh asked.

"You threw it back up, so no," Chris said.

"Done!" Ursula announced as she took a deep breath.

"Well done," Chris said. "Lindsay, course six if you'll please."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Well, _that's_ not going to earn me any bad boy cred, but hey, at least I tried.

 **Ursula:** I just swallowed an entire rock. How long do rocks stay in your digestion? If I end up hospitalized for this, I swear...

* * *

Lindsay set platters with the number 6 on them in front of Naomi and Quentin.

"Reveal your plates!" Chris commanded.

Naomi and Quentin removed the covers from their platters to reveal a cupcake on each platter.

"Cupcakes?! Sweet!" Naomi cheered.

"Yup. Just a cupcake," Chris said. "No tricks here."

"Why don't I trust you when you say no tricks here?" Mondo asked.

"Why Mondo, I'm hurt," Chris said in faux offense.

"Vardaman can have it," Quentin smiled as he passed the cupcake to Vardaman. "He saved Hugh's life, so I feel like he deserves it more than I do."

"Uh, thanks," Vardaman said as Quentin handed him the platter. He eyed the cupcake suspiciously.

"I wouldn't mind a cupcake," Naomi said. "I'm keeping this one."

"Good luck with that," Zarardo said. "It could be spiked with jalapenos or something."

"Only one way to find out," Naomi said as she and Vardaman began eating their cupcakes.

"Mmm, this is really good," Naomi said with her mouth full.

"It's real sweet, but not disgustin'," Vardaman commented.

"So, wait, there's nothing wrong with it?" Phoenix asked.

"Like I said, no tricks here," Chris said.

"So Naomi hands all these gross dishes to us, and gets rewarded with a cupcake?" Isidora asked. "That's fair."

"You were all supposed to assume that the dishes would get gradually grosser and that those who make the later rounds would eat the grossest dish," Chris said. "This was supposed to be a reward for sticking it out for so long."

"Well I'm done," Naomi said.

"Me too," Vardaman said.

"Alright then. Lindsay, fetch course seven!" Chris commanded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** Honestly it never even occurred to me that the dishes might get grosser. Dodged a bullet there, huh?

 **Vardaman:** Sure was nice of Quentin to let me have the cupcake. I put myself closest to the podium 'cause I figured I could eat just about anythin', so I hope Quentin didn't accidentally force himself to eat the grossest dish.

* * *

Lindsay set platter number seven in front of Quentin and Zarardo.

"Gentlemen... reveal your plates," Chris said sinisterly.

Quentin and Zarardo removed the covers to their platters to reveal a small brain on each of them.

"I've heard of brain food, but this is ridiculous," Zarardo chuckled.

"What we have here are pig brains," Chris said. "Bon appetit."

Zarardo shrugged as he picked it up and took a bite. Quentin hesitated, but soon followed suit.

"It's down to the wire here, folks. Anything can happen," Chris said.

"How's it taste?" Isidora asked.

"Strange, though I can't tell if it's in a good or bad way," Zarardo answered.

"What he said," Quentin agreed.

The two boys continued to eat their pig brains as everyone watched on.

"Will we get a time penalty if someone who isn't eating throws up?" Jasper asked.

"Yes," Chris said simply.

"Even if I'm not in the challenge?" Phoenix asked.

"You're fine," Chris said. "You're sitting out, so you won't affect the challenge in any way."

"Cool. I'll be in the washrooms then," Phoenix said as he dashed out of the mess hall.

"Lucky," Jasper grumbled.

"Done!" Quentin and Zarardo said in unison.

"Great. I've been keeping track of each team's times, so I have the results right now, as a matter of fact," Chris said. "And, with an overall time of seven minutes and thirty-two seconds, after penalties are taken into account, the winning team is..."

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"The Screaming Italics!" Chris announced.

"Nice job, team," Mondo smiled.

"Killer Boldface, it's back to elimination for you," Chris said. "I'll see you guys then."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Heh, I didn't even swallow that rock and my team still won. It's gotta suck to be Ursula right now.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I'm 100% positive that I'm a target right now, so I have to think of _some_ way to make it out of this alive. But what?

 **Zarardo:** I wonder where the votes will fall today. Personally, I'm hoping for Fauna to go home, but with Osric out of the alliance, that might be difficult.

 **Ursula:** This should be an easy vote. Just get the alliance to vote for Genesis. Four of us plus Warwick probably should be enough.

* * *

Genesis met up with Fauna in the mess hall.

"Well, my phone is charged, so now we can talk," Genesis texted.

"Well, it's basically Isidora, Naomi, or Warwick at this point," Fauna said. "Also, just so you know, I offered Zarardo a position in this alliance, and he said yes, though I ain't sure how loyal he'll actually be."

"Now that I think about it, he was an original member of Osric's alliance back when I was in that," Genesis texted. "And I know he hangs out with Isidora and Warwick a lot."

"So we'll vote for Naomi then," Fauna said.

"I actually trust Naomi," Genesis texted. "Though now that I think about it, I don't think I trust Zarardo very much."

"We can't vote for Zarardo. He's a person of color," Fauna said.

"Think about it, Fauna. None of the white people on our team are remotely threatening," Genesis texted. "But if Zarardo really is aligned with this many people, he could be a real problem. You said yourself that you don't trust him."

"It's the principle of the thing," Fauna said. "Why would I take away a POC's right to win when I could do the same to a white person?"

"Because this POC could take away _your_ right to win in an instant," Genesis texted. "He's sneaky, and I don't like it."

"Then we can take him out later," Fauna said.

"There might not be a later!" Genesis texted.

"We're voting for a white person and that's final!" Fauna insisted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks. She looks distressed.)_ Fuana dosnt sem to be graspoing the siuation here. Ths cold be the difference betwen one of us going ors atying. Is she readly going to let something as pett as rae make a difference here?

 **Fauna:** We're this close to getting rid of all the white people on this team. Why would I stop that momentum now? Now we just need to get all these extra votes, and we can get rid of Naomi or whoever.

* * *

Ursula stood outside of a bathroom stall, where Phoenix was.

"You didn't even eat anything and you got sick. That's impressive," Ursula chuckled.

"Eugh, nobody's perfect," Phoenix responded.

"We're still voting for Genesis, right?" Ursula asked.

"As far as I know," Phoenix said. "I should probably tell Isidora and Zarardo that you're with us now."

"Do they still not know?" Ursula asked. "Yeah, that might be good for them to know."

"At least we can finally get Genesis out," Phoenix said.

"What's your beef with her?" Ursula asked. "She voted out my boyfriend, but what do you have against her?"

"I just don't like how everyone's ignored how big of a threat she is for so long," Phoenix said. "At least people seem to be aware of this now. And now we can take her out."

"Wouldn't that make you a threat, for taking out a threat?" Ursula chuckled.

"Maybe, but the less people know that, the better," Phoenix said.

Phoenix threw up in the toilet once again.

"Need me to hold your hair back?" Ursula chuckled.

"I'm good," Phoenix said. "You don't have to stay here. I won't die or anything."

"Eh, if you insist," Ursula shrugged.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** Genesis should have known better than to mess with the girl who messes with people for fun. You never provoke the kid who likes slasher movies, because maybe _they'll_ turn out to be a slasher. That's just a metaphor of course, but you know.

 **Phoenix:** Guess I can't go around controlling the vote this time around. I'll probably be better by tomorrow, but if this is how I was without even participating in the challenge, I shudder to think what might have happened had I competed.

* * *

Isidora and Zarardo met up on the top of the thousand-foot cliff.

"When was the last time that all three of us managed to be up here at the same time?" Isidora asked.

"I'm not sure, but since it's just the two of us, we can have a real talk about who to vote," Zarardo said.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I think voting with our alliance is the safest bet," Isidora said. "I know Phoenix wants either Fauna or Genesis gone."

"I'd prefer if Fauna left, personally," Zarardo said. "I think we can swing the votes against Fauna."

"I'd be fine with that," Isidora shrugged. "I'm pretty sure she wants me dead. No, not eliminated. Dead."

"Sounds good to me," Zarardo said. "And of course, Warwick has the mental capacity of a flea, so he'll do whatever we say."

"Exactly," Isidora smirked.

"Fauna it is," Zarardo grinned as he suddenly had his Fushigi ball and began to play with it. "Should be fun to watch her reaction."

"Agreed," Isidora said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** Now, of course, we just need to find Phoenix and tell him about voting for Fauna. Maybe we can get Ursula in on it too. I don't know. I'm not super confident in this vote, but what happens happens, I guess.

 **Zarardo:** Phoenix should have realized what he was getting into when he chose to include me and Isidora in his alliance. Now that Osric's gone, we outnumber him two to one, so really, it's more like he's a part of our alliance instead of the other way around.

* * *

Warwick stood at the end of the Dock of Shame, gazing at the horizon.

"Someday, I shall rule a kingdom of my own, and when I do, I will make sure my castle overlooks a lake as gorgeous as this," Warwick told himself.

Warwick took in the sights when Naomi crashed into him from behind, knocking the both of them in the water.

"Naomi! You whelp!" Warwick cried.

"Sorry. Like I said, I wanted to skate from the top of the cliff to here," Naomi said. "Isidora and Zarardo were up there, actually. Aren't they your friends?"

"Mind your own business!" Warwick snapped.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** It's important that the smart people of this world procreate, otherwise we end up with people like Naomi still in existence. In my future kingdom, we will only allow the smartest people we can!

 **Naomi:** I didn't even crash until Warwick came along. Improvement!

* * *

The eight members of the Killer Boldface met up at the bonfire pit. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"Welcome back to elimination, most lethal of thick typefaces," Chris grinned. "You know how it is. You get a marshmallow, you're safe. If not, you're eliminated. Now, marshmallows go to..."

"Isidora."

"Phoenix."

"Ursula."

"Warwick."

"Naomi."

"Genesis."

Fauna and Zarardo glanced at each other in disbelief.

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"Fauna," Chris finally said as he tossed Fauna her marshmallow.

Zarardo chuckled in disbelief, resentment on his face.

"What?!" Warwick snapped. "Who would dare to vote out my most trusted advisor?!"

"The majority, apparently," Zarardo chuckled. "I can't believe this... who turned against me?"

"Obviously I'm not going to reveal who voted for whom, but if anyone wants to see Zarardo off, you can follow us to the Dock of Shame. Everyone else can head to bed."

* * *

Zarardo, Warwick, and Chris all came to the Dock of Shame.

"Not even Isidora would come to see me off," Zarardo scoffed. "I bet she turned on me."

"She would never do that," Warwick frowned. "I trust her completely, and I know she wouldn't do anything that would go against the good of the kingdom."

"Right," Zarardo chuckled. "I still can't believe I've been voted out. Why on Earth would they vote for me?"

"Again, it's not my place to say," Chris said as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors. "Warwick, you two can head to bed now. Any last words, Zarardo?"

"Only that this disappearing act is the trickiest I've ever seen," Zarardo said. "How could they get me to disappear like this?"

"Let it be known that I will get my revenge!" Warwick declared as he left the dock.

Zarardo entered the Elevator of Losers.

"Zarardo, you have finished the game in 15th place," Chris said.

Zarardo said nothing.

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater. "A magician never reveals his secrets, but it looks like Zarardo didn't have to to become a target."

"I thought he'd make it a lot farther to be honest," Lindsay admitted.

"With Zarardo's elimination, does this mean that there's something up someone else's sleeve?" Chris asked. "And will Warwick really avenge the loss of his advisor?"

"What will the Screaming Isosceles team's dynamics end up being like?" Lindsay asked. "And who will be the next one voted off of the game?"

"I can hardly wait to find out myself," Chris beamed.

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Isidora:** I vote for Fauna. Now that she's finally vulnerable, I don't have to worry about this backfiring against me.

 **Zarardo:** My vote goes to Fauna, the dead-on-arrival early boot who lasted much too long.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ It took some convincing, but I think I finally got Fauna to maybe vote for Zarardo. Here's hoping this works.

 **Naomi:** Genesis wants us to vote for Zarardo even though he was in our alliance. I guess he never talked to me much, so I don't have much of a problem with it.

 **Phoenix:** I assume the vote is still for Genesis, so that's who I'm voting for.

 **Ursula:** Good riddance, Genesis. Tell Osric I said hi, won't you?

 **Fauna:** Ugh... I can't believe I'm doing this, but Genesis is right. Zarardo is a traitor to the POC by working with the whities, and he's practically a white person himself. It's not easy, but... I vote for Zarardo.

 **Warwick:** I vote for Naomi! I cannot stand her whelpishness any longer!

* * *

 _A/N: So, Zarardo... I think he managed to be the most passive threat I've ever written. As far as villains go, he didn't make any big moves or plot very often, he just aligned with whoever he could and used the knowledge that no one would vote for him as an excuse to lie low and not look like a threat. I might even have worked had he not tried to fool Fauna. I'll admit the way he left was a bit of a cop-out, but this was pretty much the most realistic way I could have eliminated him, since this is where his story ends._


	13. Ep 12: A Midsummer Night's Scream

_A/N: Happy New Year! Just a quick update before the spring semester starts. Enjoy. :)_

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, our contestants were made to eat disgusting food, from edible-yet-gross, to just plain should-not-be-consumed by humans," Chris recapped. "They ended up doing a surprisingly good job. Only a handful of people threw up. Kind of disappointing, really."

"You _like_ seeing people throw up?" Lindsay asked as she cringed.

"I like seeing people suffer," Chris shrugged. Lindsay set off his shock collar. "Jerk. Anyway, outside of the challenge, Hugh became an official member of the Quentin/Tori/Vardaman alliance, though it's fairly clear that he's on the bottom of the totem pole. Meanwhile, Amelie and Mondo are struggling to stay alive now that they're in the minority. Jasper, meanwhile lied low, knowing that his old alliance mates would be pissed at him for turning on them."

"And on the other team, Naomi talked to Genesis about why she voted for Osric, Ursula joined Phoenix's alliance with Isidora and Zarardo, and, most importantly, Isidora and Warwick are engaged!" Lindsay clapped.

"Well, Warwick sure seems to think so, though Isidora mentioned in the confessional that she's only using him, sooooo... no romance here," Chris chuckled.

Lindsay pouted.

"The Killer Boldface lost the challenge that night, and the vote was insane! Phoenix and Ursula voted for Genesis, seeing her as a threat, Isidora and Zarardo voted for Fauna, who they saw as annoying, Warwick voted for Naomi, who had been messing with him all day, but it was Fauna, Genesis, and Naomi who held the majority against Zarardo due to his attempts to play all sides of the team, blindsiding the street magician."

"Will Fauna regret voting for a person of color?" Lindsay asked. "Will the Genesis/Ursula rivalry come to an end? Will Phoenix keep losing alliance members?"

"Will Hugh maintain a good spot in his alliance?" Chris asked. "Will Jasper get by with no allies? Will Quentin and Tori break up?"

"Hey!" Lindsay objected.

"Romance doesn't bring drama," Chris shrugged. "Breakups do."

Lindsay set off Chris's shock collar.

"F-Find out, right here, on Total!" Chris started.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

Chris tried to pry his shock collar off, only to accidentally set it off by himself.

* * *

Genesis and Ursula sat on bottom bunks on either end of the girls' cabin. Ursula glared at Genesis, who wore a smirk. Naomi stood in the center of the room.

"Okay, so you two are both my friends, and I can't stand to see you two not getting along," Naomi frowned.

"She started it," Ursula insisted.

"Surprisingly, I'm more interested in my own well-being than yours or Osric's," Genesis texted.

"See, how can I get along with her when I know she's probably going to stab me in the back at any moment?" Ursula asked Naomi.

"Likewise, I'm sure Ursula has it out for me," Genesis texted. "I simply cannot trust her."

"If you two became friends again you might be able to trust each other," Naomi suggested.

"But how can we become friends if we do not trust each other?" Genesis texted.

"Yeah, for all we know, she could be planning on backstabbing you, Naomi," Ursula mentioned.

"I am not," Genesis texted. "Naomi is a friend of mine, and I trust her. Osric was a friendly acquaintance at best."

"Well Naomi's my friend too, and at least I don't have a record of voting out alliance members," Ursula scowled.

"Okay, say I found myself a boyfriend, and you and Osric never got together," Genesis texted. "Are you saying you wouldn't vote me or him off because we'd be a threat?"

"No, I wouldn't!" Ursula snapped.

"Guys, stop fighting!" Naomi pleaded. "Don't make me lock you in this room until you can get along!"

"The door doesn't have a lock," Ursula pointed out.

"I'll find a way!" Naomi insisted as she skated off, only to trip and fall on her face. "I will find a way!" she reiterated.

Genesis and Ursula shared a leer at each other before leaving the cabin.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** Oh, I wish I could go back in time and try to convince Genesis not to vote for Osric, because ever since that happened, things have been awkward. We lucked out with Zarardo going home last night because I don't think Genesis or Ursula were particularly close to him, but what's stopping one of them from voting the other out next time?! I'll do what I can to keep that from happening.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Perhaps I shouldn't be so hard on Ursula, since I could use as many allies as possible, but she feels the need to call me out on playing the game, and that's just weak. Total Drama is a _game_ to be _won_ , and Ursula sees my game move as personal rather than a means to win. Hence, it's hard to consider Ursula a possible ally.

 **Ursula:** Naomi doesn't get it. She doesn't have a boyfriend. Osric and I have been cool since day one, and then all of a sudden he goes home by two votes because of some bullcrap reason! I honestly need to get rid of Genesis as soon as possible. At least Phoenix is onboard with that idea. Though why didn't she go home last night? He said we had Isidora and Zarardo onboard, and those two probably have Warwick, so we should have had the majority. I'll need to talk to Isidora and Warwick about this.

* * *

Quentin, Tori, and Vardaman all hung out in the kitchen, making breakfast.

"So, has anyone here really talked to Hugh since he joined our alliance?" Vardaman asked.

"I thought we had a silent understanding that he's only a number to us and that we'll be dropping him as soon as we can," Tori said.

"That's not very nice," Quentin frowned.

"Neither is Hugh," Tori pointed out.

"Well, given how easily he backstabbed Ephraim 'cause he didn't like him, I think we should make an effort to talk to Hugh," Vardaman suggested. "We don't want him turnin' on us as soon as it's convenient for him."

"A fair point," Tori conceded.

"Be nice to Hugh, got it," Quentin nodded.

"Shouldn't be a challenge for you," Tori smiled. "You're the nicest person in this game."

"You think?" Quentin chuckled. "Well, you're definitely the most badass, so try not to intimidate him."

"Might be hard," Tori smirked. "I'll just say 'What would Quentin do' when talking to Hugh?"

"Aw geez," Quentin blushed.

Vardaman silently took his finished breakfast to the dining room.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** _(He is chewing on a tongue depressor.)_ I'm definitely proud of Quentin n' Tori for findin' happiness in each other, but they seem to tune me out of conversations. I don't think it's intentional, but it's clear I'm becomin' kind of a third wheel in this alliance. I may need to get on Hugh's good side the most of all of us, because as much as I like Quentin n' Tori, I don't trust them to keep me over each other. Hugh could be an important ally.

 **Quentin:** I have to say, I'm in a pretty nice position right now. Three allies on a team of seven, one of whom is my girlfriend, plus I think Jasper's made some enemies, so he'd be an easy boot. Mondo still has a statue, which concerns me a bit, but I think we can take care of that soon enough.

 **Tori:** Hugh's a volatile individual, but I think we can make do. He needs us just as much as we need him.

* * *

Isidora and Warwick met up on top of the thousand-foot cliff.

"Alright, so our loyal and trusted advisor is gone," Warwick started. Isidora rolled her eyes at this. "But we can still get by. First we just need to find some people who want to align with us. But it can't be Naomi. Or Genesis. Or Fauna."

"Well, glad to hear you have an open mind about it," Isidora remarked. "Anyway, I've actually been talking with Phoenix and Ursula, and I think they're interested in joining an alliance with us. Obviously you and I will be the final two, but Phoenix and Ursula could help us reach that point."

"Babe, you are a genius!" Warwick declared. "Phoenix is smart, and Ursula can add to our intimidation factor. And with the two of us at the helm, this alliance will be unstoppable!"

"Yep," Isidora said disinterestedly. "Though could you not with the pet names? If people find out we're engaged and set to rule a country, they'll see us as a threat and might want to take us out."

"Can do," Warwick nodded. "Now, when do you think we should arrange to meet with Phoenix and Ursula?"

"Hm, actually, I'm thinking we should do that separately," Isidora said. "Again, if people see us together, they'll think something's up. You talk to Phoenix, I'll talk to Ursula. It'll be way less conspicuous."

"Understood," Warwick nodded. He kissed Isidora on the cheek before heading down the cliff. "This game will be ours!"

Isidora shuddered as she wiped her cheek.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I think I understand what Zarardo was doing in being Warwick's advisor. If you act like you're loyal to him, Warwick will basically see you as infallible and will be doubly loyal to you. Well, props to Zarardo for being able to play along better than I can right now, though to be fair I don't think Zarardo ever got showered with kisses either. _(She shudders.)_ Warwick smells like onion chips. I hate onion chips.

 **Warwick:** Hm, you know, if I didn't know better, I'd say Isidora's embarrassed to be seen around me. ...Nah, you know what, she's probably just shy. How cute is that?

* * *

Jasper found Hugh sitting alone at Mt. Looming Tragedy.

"Heyyyyyyyyy!" Jasper greeted.

"I'm going to need to find a new spot," Hugh grumbled under his breath. "What do you want?"

"Look, we need to talk," Jasper said. "Here's the thing: Amelie and Mondo are an alliance. Quentin, Tori, and Vardaman are an alliance, plus Quentin and Tori are a couple. And where does that leave us?"

"I'll have you know that I am now an official part of Vardaman's alliance," Hugh smirked. "And if I'm not mistaken, you're next to go."

Jasper snickered. "And what will happen when I'm gone? They'll have no use for you anymore and can take you out as soon as they want to."

"Why would they do that when Amelie and Mondo would still be here, artard?" Hugh asked. "Besides, the merge is probably coming up soon. They'll need as many allies as they can get."

"Amelie's no threat whatsoever. Perfect to take to the merge," Jasper pointed out. "Mondo has a hidden statue, so taking him out will take time and effort. Besides, they can make more allies from the Boldface once the merge hits. Face it: once I'm gone, you're the best target for those three."

Hugh looked taken aback. "God damn it..." Hugh muttered. "So, what? You want to work together?"

"Not really 'want' so much as 'need', but yes, we should work together, at least for now," Jasper confirmed. "We can take Mondo's side or we can take Vardaman's side, but either way, we'll be in the majority."

"I like it," Hugh grinned. "Only question is: which side should we take?"

"Well, you're already with the threesome," Jasper chuckled. "I'll try to get back on Amelie's good side and see if she'll forgive me for backstabbing Ephraim. Obviously I won't remind her that I backstabbed Ephraim, but you know what I mean. We can compare notes later."

"Sounds good to me," Hugh said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** This game is ridiculously easy when the lines are as clear as they are. Just find whoever's on the outs, lure them in with your charm, give them some facts, and they're putty in your hand. I will do the same with Amelie later today.

 **Hugh:** I'll admit, working with the gayest gay to ever gay isn't great for bad boy cred, but he's right. No one in that group of three likes me more than they like each other. So yeah, I'll work with Jasper. For now. Obviously I'll have to backstab him when the time is right. That'll prove how bad I am.

* * *

Phoenix found Fauna pacing back and forth on the beach.

"Dare I ask what you're thinking about?" Phoenix asked.

"Whether or not I made the right decision last night," Fauna admitted.

"What do you mean?" Phoenix asked.

"I voted for Zarardo last night," Fauna explained.

"You did?" Phoenix asked, surprised.

"Yes, and it's tearing at me," Fauna said as she chewed on the nail of her thumb. "I made a contribution towards a person of color leaving this game. It made sense at the time, but now... what have I done?!"

"You've grown," Phoenix said.

"Say what?" Fauna asked curiously.

"You recognized that Zarardo is a threat and that eliminating him was best for your game," Phoenix explained. "You eliminated someone despite their skin color. That's a huge step for you."

"Step towards what?" Fauna leered. "Complacency? Whitenormativity? Being a traitor to my own race?!"

"Towards standing a chance in this game," Phoenix told her. "If you won't target or align with certain people because of the color of their skin, you may find yourself with very limited options. You're starting to look past that."

"But..." Fauna started.

Fauna looked to be struggling to come up with a response. Phoenix smiled.

"I think you'll figure out what you want to say over the next couple of days," Phoenix told her. "I'll give you time to think."

Phoenix walked away, leaving Fauna to pace back and forth once again.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fauna:** Genesis is the one who convinced me to vote for Zarardo... but why...? Has she been brainwashed by the whites? Ugh, why is this so confusing?!

 **Phoenix:** It's important to be nice to everyone in this game, at least to their faces. After all, they could be the one-vote difference between things going your way, and your ally going home for the second time in a row. _(He sighs.)_

* * *

Amelie and Mondo met up on the Dock of Shame.

"So, I had a thought," Amelie said.

"Do tell," Mondo said.

"I think we should ask Jasper back into the alliance," Amelie suggested. "That's dumb, isn't it? I'm sorry."

"I have trouble trusting Jasper," Mondo said.

"Okay, but..." Amelie started. "He's not aligned with anyone right now, and we could really use his help. We're on the outs right now..."

Mondo sighed. "You have a point. But let it be known that I do not trust him. I do, however, trust you, so if you think that letting Jasper in on our information is a good idea, then go for it."

"Oh wow... when it put it like that..." Amelie shuddered. "Do you have a better idea?"

"Like I said, I want to join up with Vardaman's alliance," Mondo said.

"But they have Hugh with them now, don't they?" Amelie asked. "I overheard someone saying that. Can't remember who. Sorry. The point is, I don't think they'll let us in their alliance because that'd be almost the entire team. That's a bad idea, right?"

"...True," Mondo conceded. "At that point it's not really an alliance anymore. But even if we do pull Jasper over, we're still in the minority."

"Oh yeah..." Amelie said. "...Maybe if one of the others gets on Hugh's bad side, he'd backstab them?"

"Who?" Mondo asked. "Quentin and Vardaman are both nice guys. Tori's blunt, but not exactly mean."

"I don't know! I'm trying here!" Amelie cried.

"That's true," Mondo nodded. "Look, if all else fails, I still have one of those hidden statues from the start of the game. If you get the majority of votes tonight, I'll use it on you."

"Really?" Amelie asked eagerly. "You would do that for me?"

"I promised Ephraim I'd protect you," Mondo said. "Of course, if it comes down to you and me, I will be saving myself, as I'm sure you understand."

"I do," Amelie nodded. "...But thanks."

"No problem," Mondo nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mondo:** I've been a bit wary of making friends in this game due to how I've been treated over the past couple months, both by my football team and by people like Hugh, but Amelie seems genuine enough that I think I can trust her. I hope that trust isn't misplaced.

 **Amelie:** Marcus always seemed kind of aloof, not that I'm one to talk, but I think us relying on each other to survive is helping us both come out of our shells a bit.

* * *

Ursula sat alone at the campfire pit when Isidora approached her.

"Hey," Ursula greeted.

"Hey," Isidora responded half-heartedly.

"So, what was up with last night's vote?" Ursula asked. "Genesis should have gone home."

"Oh... I thought we'd changed the vote to Fauna. Zarardo thought the same," Isidora explained. "Well, that explains that."

"No, the plan was always to get rid of Genesis," Ursula frowned. "And now we're down an alliance member."

"That's actually why I'm here," Isidora said. "Warwick wants in. Honestly, I don't think we have anything to lose by letting him in. It's not like he's going to overthrow us anytime soon, and he trusts me."

"Warwick, huh?" Ursula asked. "I don't think he and I have ever really had a full conversation. You're sure he's trustworthy?"

"He doesn't have Zarardo to turn to anymore, and I was aligned with those two on the side just in case," Isidora explained. "I'm the only ally he has, and our alliance needs someone else to stay in the majority."

"If we vote off Genesis, we can add Naomi. I trust her," Ursula said.

"Why would we have to vote off Genesis?" Isidora asked.

"Because Naomi trusts both me and her. It's complicated. I hate it," Ursula frowned.

"The thing is, though, we need a majority now, and we can't take Genesis out without it," Isidora explained. "Hence, I feel that Warwick is a better option."

"Fine..." Ursula scowled. "But if yet another one of us goes home during our next elimination, let Naomi in."

"Only if that person isn't you," Isidora shrugged. "No offense, but I hold no loyalty to Naomi except by proxy through you. If you're not here, then I hold no obligation to help her."

Ursula scowled at Isidora.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** To be honest, I don't like Naomi all that much. Granted, Warwick isn't my favorite person in the world either, but I can at least count on him. I barely know Naomi other than the fact that she's loyal to two people who aren't me, one of whom is our current target apparently. Anyway, it's really up to Phoenix whether or not Naomi will join up with us. It's his alliance, after all.

 **Ursula:** I don't like Isidora that much. She rarely does anything and yet she acts like some kind of strategic mastermind who thinks she's running the place. It's the same reason I didn't like _The Ring_.

* * *

Hugh had just sat down with lunch when Vardaman sat across from him.

"Howdy, Hugh," Vardaman greeted with a tip of his hat.

"What do you want?" Hugh asked.

"Well, seein' as how you're in the alliance now, I figure we should have a strategy talk," Vardaman explained.

"Is there a plan or are do you need me to come up with one for you?" Hugh asked.

"Well, I reckon the merge is comin' up real soon, and Mondo still has his hidden statue," Vardaman said. "That could be scary to go up against, so I'd like to get rid of it as soon as possible."

"So we're going to leave who goes home in Mondo's hands?" Hugh asked condescendingly.

"Now let me finish," Vardaman said. "I'm thinkin' we should convince Jasper to vote for Mondo. Then you n' I vote for Jasper. It'd be a tie between Jasper n' whoever Amelie n' Mondo vote for, but it's better than lettin' Mondo decide for sure who goes home."

"A valid point," Hugh admitted. "I'll talk to Jasper about it. I can't guarantee he'll say yes, but I'll try."

"I getcha. Jasper's a difficult critter," Vardaman nodded. "By the way, what are your thoughts on Quentin n' Tori?"

"As a couple or as individuals?" Hugh asked.

"The fact that you listed them as a couple first says it all," Vardaman said. "Thing is, I ain't so comfortable with them bein' a tight duo, leavin' me out. That's why I wanna form an alliance within our alliance. You and me. What'cha think?"

"Sure," Hugh shrugged.

"Good to know," Vardaman smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** _(He is chewing on a tongue depressor.)_ I'll admit, I never thought I'd want to be in a duo with Hugh of all people, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I like Quentin n' Tori, really I do, but I'd also like to win this game. My family ain't the wealthiest, n' medical school costs a lot of money.

 **Hugh:** You know, of everyone left on my team who isn't me, Vardaman's probably the least objectionable, so if I had to align with one of them, I'm cool with it being him. Of course, I'm a bit tentative in taking out Jasper, given that he and I are also a duo. Eh, I have time to figure things out. It's past noon and there hasn't been a challenge yet, so I'm assuming we get the day off or something.

* * *

It was the afternoon, and Fauna had not stopped pacing on the beach. Genesis approached her.

"Seems like you're having an eventful day," Genesis texted.

"Remind me why we had to vote out Zarardo," Fauna said, stress evident in her tone. "I voted out a person of color last night and it's stressing me out!"

"Because he was aligned with literally everyone else on the team," Genesis texted. "Including the white people. Getting rid of him will make it easier to take out the white people."

"Why couldn't he just vote off the white people with us?" Fauna asked.

"Because I didn't believe for a second that he was truly on our side," Genesis texted. "He only aligned with you as a safeguard, just in case. He never held any loyalty to you. You even said so yourself."

"Ugh, just... why did you have to convince me to vote him off?!" Fauna cried.

"Because I felt it was best for my game," Genesis texted. "It was either him or Ursula, and I felt Zarardo would be easier to vote out given that he was less social than Ursula is."

"Why those two?! Why not Isidora or Naomi or Warwick?!" Fauna cried.

"I told you, I trust Naomi," Genesis texted. "If not for her vote against Zarardo, you probably would have gone home last night. And Isidora and Warwick are harmless. We can take them out whenever."

"But... but...!" Fauna stammered. "UGHHHHHH! Why does this game have to be so damn racist?!"

"I'd better go," Genesis texted as she walked away.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fauna:** I need to vote out the white people... but what if Genesis is right and I need to vote out a person of color in order to vote out the white people? No! It's my fault for letting any POC betray their race. I should have done a better job to convince Zarardo to be on my side. Him and Ursula, and Xingrong, and maybe Dalit too... it's my fault. It's all my fault...!

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Fauna is insane. But she's also 100% on my side, so I need to convince her somehow that she did the right thing in helping to vote out Zarardo. But how can I do that when her brain operates differently from normal humans? _(She silently sighs.)_

* * *

Quentin wandered through the forest alone, performing bird calls. Several birds called back in response.

"How cool... Wish I knew what they were saying," Quentin chuckled.

Just then, Mondo ran past Quentin.

"Afternoon, Mondo," Quentin smiled.

"Afternoon, Quentin," Mondo nodded.

Just then, some birds flew in Mondo's face, tripping him up and knocking him onto his rear.

"Sorry about that," Quentin said as he approached the football player. "That happens sometimes."

"So, what, you have the power to control birds?" Mondo asked.

"No, I just do bird calls, and birds tend to respond to them," Quentin shrugged. "What are you up to?"

"Just doing a jog for the hell of it," Mondo responded. "I'm surprised you're not with Tori, working out or otherwise."

"I mean, Tori's great, but we're not joined at the hip or anything," Quentin said. "We both like our alone time, since we're both introverted and all."

"I see," Mondo said. "In that case, I'll leave you back to your alone time."

"Cool. Have fun jogging," Quentin smiled.

"Have fun with the birds," Mondo smiled back before jogging off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mondo:** Quentin's a nice kid, though I can't help but wonder if I've been underestimating him. He's nice enough for no one to want to get rid of him, he's not enough of a challenge threat to be an obvious target, plus he has that hidden statue from the first round... Could be something to consider.

 **Quentin:** Mondo's a nice guy. It's too bad he's our next target, but that's the way the game goes. On the plus side, I'm getting better at my bluejay call. _(He whistles loudly and off-key.)_ ...That one's a work in progress.

* * *

It was evening, and Phoenix sat alone in the boys' cabin reading a comic book when Warwick entered the building.

"Ah, Phoenix, there you are!" Warwick greeted.

"Here I am..." Phoenix said, sounding unsure of what was going on.

"Isidora has offered me a spot in your alliance with her and Ursula," Warwick said. "I'm not sure if you knew that already, but if not, now you know!"

"Isidora..." Phoenix muttered. "Alright, you're in, but allow me to make one thing perfectly clear: you are not in charge. I'm not sure how things worked with Zarardo, but in this alliance, you are our newest member, and thus your word has the least weight, if only for now."

"But...!" Warwick started. "Ugh, fine! But soon you will _all_ bow before your king!"

"I'm sure," Phoenix said sarcastically.

"Well if you're so sure, then are you sure of who our target is?" Warwick asked.

"Genesis," Phoenix said, his brow furrowing. "She's sneaky and not an obvious threat. I fear that if she's allowed into the merge, she may win this whole game. That's why I've been trying to take her out for so long."

"Well, I heard she wants me gone, so I'd be more than fine with taking her out!" Warwick declared. "So say I, Warwick, king of... whatever my country will be called!"

"You still haven't thought of a name?" Phoenix asked.

"It's not easy, okay?!" Warwick whined.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** I do wish Isidora had passed this by me first before just telling Warwick he could join, but I guess in the long run it's not that big of a deal. Still, I'm not sure I trust Warwick to keep this alliance a secret. If people know I'm spearheading a secret alliance like this, I could be in big trouble. So Warwick had better not mess this up.

 **Warwick:** Phoenix is no Zarardo, and he never will be, but right now I need _someone_ to help me and my fiancee make it to the end, and if Phoenix is offering, then why not?

* * *

Amelie found Jasper repeatedly throwing a small blue ball at the outer wall of the mess hall.

"Hello, Jasper," Amelie greeted.

"Oh, it's Amelie!" Jasper smiled. "What's up?"

"I just... I wanted to ask if you wanted to join my alliance again," Amelie offered. "You-You don't have to if you don't want to, but, you know..."

"Is Mondo okay with this?" Jasper asked.

"He said he doesn't trust you, but he trusts me, so if I trust you to come back, then he trusts you to come back," Amelie explained.

"That doesn't really make any sense," Jasper chuckled. "But if you and Mondo really need my help, then who am I to say no?"

"So you'll do it?" Amelie asked.

"Sure. Who's the ideal target right now?" Jasper asked.

"I'm not sure. We'd have to ask Mondo," Amelie said.

"Girl, it's your game. You should decide who the target is," Jasper said.

"You think?" Amelie asked. "...I'm not sure. It seems kind of mean to single someone out."

"Take your time," Jasper smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Well... I did it. I talked to Jasper, and now he's back on board. He's right, though. I am still playing Mondo's game, aren't I? Maybe I should come up with a target. Um... Tori? I guess? I don't know...

 **Jasper:** Isn't this lovely? Amelie's already over me getting rid of Ephraim, plus I still have Hugh who's willing to tell me all the other alliance's secrets. Things are looking up for me.

* * *

The fourteen campers gathered at the central campground, where Chris stood. It was nighttime, and the full moon shone brightly.

"I was just about to go to sleep," Naomi pouted.

"Sorry, Naomi, no sleep for you," Chris said with an insincere grin. "Because it's time for your challenge!"

"Why wait until now for the challenge?" Tori asked.

"Because, Tori, tonight's challenge is a Total Drama classic: the fear challenge!" Chris announced gleefully.

"Oh boy..." Phoenix sighed.

"One by one, in alphabetical order of course, each contestant will face their respective biggest fear: the same one you revealed during the lie detector test you underwent before the game started," Chris explained. "Each camper who manages to brave his or her fear will earn a point for their team. The team with the most points in the end wins. If it's a tie, we'll do a tiebreaker challenge. Who's ready to get this started?!"

"I can't help but notice that Lindsay's not here," Mondo noted.

"Yeah, the producers were afraid she'd get a bit too zap-happy in this one, so she's been given the night off," Chris said. "Which means there's no one to keep me in line."

Chris wore a menacing grin, unnerving several campers.

"First up, it's A for Amelie!" Chris announced.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** _(He is chewing on a tongue depressor.)_ Aw, I was hopin' we wouldn't be doin' this challenge this season, mostly 'cause my fear is pretty embarrassin'.

 **Fauna:** As if I wasn't under enough stress right now! AUGH!

 **Ursula:** A fear challenge, huh? Well, I'm not looking forward to my challenge, because even I've got something I'm afraid of, but at the very least it should be fun watching everyone else's challenges. Heheheheh.

 **Quentin:** Normally I'd be terrified of my challenge, but I'm sure Tori will be by my side to help me out. Unless Chris doesn't allow that... I should probably stop talking right now.

* * *

An intern finished dragging a kiddie pool into the main campground. The pool had a tarp covering it.

"Oh no..." Amelie squeaked.

"Oh yes," Chris grinned as he theatrically pulled the tarp from the top of the pool, revealing it to be full of beetles, spiders, centipedes, and grasshoppers. Amelie's face paled instantly.

"Ew," Hugh winced. "Why do you even have a pool filled with bugs?"

"For such an occasion as this," Chris chuckled. "Amelie's biggest fear is bugs. Her challenge is to sit in this pool for thirty seconds. If she can pull that off, she will earn a point for the Screaming Italics."

Amelie glanced at her team nervously.

"Ephraim would want you to do it," Mondo told her.

"Don't pressure her into doing it. If she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to," Jasper scolded.

Amelie glanced back at the pool, shut her eyes tight, and approached it.

"Atta girl," Vardaman smiled. "You can do it."

Amelie nervously stepped foot into the pool and sat down as Chris started a timer. The coward's teeth began to clench as the bugs began crawling up her arms and body. Two seconds later, she exited the pool, screaming and flailing her arms.

"Welp, Amelie did not complete her challenge, thus, no points for the Italics," Chris grinned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** _(She is hyperventilating.)_

 **Warwick:** Even I could not have completed that challenge! That was just disgusting! ...My challenge is going to suck, isn't it?

* * *

Chris and the contestants had moved to the mess hall, where a large, boxy TV set had been set up.

"Is this a permanent thing?" Quentin asked. "Because a TV would be a cool addition to the camp overall if you ask me."

"Well, I was going to let you keep it, but since you asked, I'm leaning more towards keeping it for myself," Chris chuckled. "Anyway, this TV set is for Fauna's challenge."

"I'm not doing it," Fauna said adamantly.

"Fauna's fear is childbirth," Chris explained. "So, since we obviously can't force her into birthing a child right here and now, we're going to show her a videotape of a woman giving birth."

"I said I ain't doing it!" Fauna insisted. "I've had a stressful enough day. I don't need this in my life right now!"

Fauna stormed out of the mess hall.

"Well... that was a waste of time. This TV was _not_ easy to get in here," Chris frowned. "You know what? Fine. It can stay in here. Have fun watching the same woman give birth over and over, because that's the only tape we have. No points for the Killer Boldface, by the way."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fauna:** I honestly legitimately don't understand why anyone would willingly give birth. It looks and sounds painful as hell.

 **Tori:** I have to wonder who would willingly volunteer to have their birthing filmed. No one looks good in the process, and as for me, I'd rather not let the world see my gross, expanded... you know.

* * *

Chris then approached Genesis and swiped her phone from her. Genesis wore a worried look on her face.

"As for Genesis, her fear is losing her phone," Chris said. "Which sounds like every teenage girl's worst fear, but Genesis is unable to speak without her phone, so..."

Genesis tried rapidly gesturing at Chris to convey her thoughts, but everyone else looked confused.

"Your challenge is to spend the rest of this challenge without your phone," Chris explained to Genesis. "You will get it back after Warwick's task has been passed or failed. At any point in this challenge, you may offer to shake my hand. That will indicate that you give up on the challenge, at which point you will receive your phone back early. Understood?"

Genesis slowly nodded her head.

"Good. If you complete your task, you will earn your point at the very end of the challenge," Chris said. "That said, let's move onto Hugh's challenge."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She drums her fingers on the seat anxiously.)_

 **Jasper:** Funny, she seemed fine with leaving her phone in her cabin during the hide-and-seek challenge. Maybe she knew no one would be able to steal it since they were all hiding? I would ask her, but... you know. _(He snickers.)_

* * *

Chris led Hugh to the boys' cabin.

"Oh, the boys' cabin. How terrifying," Hugh scoffed.

"Well, if you're so confident, feel free to step inside," Chris offered.

"Heh. Sure. Fine. Whatever," Hugh said unconvincingly as he stepped into the cabin. His loud screams could be heard shortly after.

Hugh looked around inside the cabin. Dolls had been placed all throughout the cabin - on the bunk beds, on the floor, even popped up against the window sills. All of them stared at Hugh.

"You see, Hugh is afraid of dolls," Chris explained to the other campers, who all waited outside the cabin. "If he can stay in there for another twenty-five seconds, he will earn a point for the Screaming Italics."

Hugh shut his eyes and held his head.

"They can't get me if I can't see them," Hugh told himself. "They can't get me if I can't see them. They're not real. Yeah. They're not even real."

Hugh peeked one of his eyes open to see that the dolls were still there, all staring intently at him.

"I can't see them I can't see them I can't see them I can't see them," Hugh repeated quickly.

"Aaaaand... time!" Chris announced. "You're good, Hugh! That's a point for the Screaming Italics!"

Hugh dashed out of the cabin, shrieking.

" _Screaming_ Italics is right," Chris chuckled as he made a mark on a clipboard.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** I... saw _Child's Play_ at much too young of an age. Blame my asshole uncle.

 **Naomi:** I can sympathize with being scarred by horror movies. Honestly, I'm surprised Ursula and I managed to hit it off at all.

* * *

"Next up is Isidora's challenge," Chris grinned.

"Let me guess," Isidora said. "You have an intern dressed as a vampire on standby?"

"Well..." Chris responded. "Your challenge is for this vampire-"

"Who is really an intern," Isidora interrupted.

"Thirty seconds. Go," Chris said quickly.

"Hahahahahahaha!" cackled a pale young man dressed as a vampire. "I am Salem Ravenlocke, and I want to drink your blood!"

"Have fun with that," Isidora said, avoiding eye contact with Salem.

Salem slinked up to Isidora and grabbed her arms.

"Careful! I bruise easily!" Isidora cringed.

"What happened to it just being an intern?" Phoenix asked Isidora.

"Vampires are still my biggest fear," Isidora shuddered. "Even if I know he's fake, it's still freaking me out."

Salem scraped his fangs along Isidora's neck. The anemic girl clenched her fists.

"Does it count against me if I punch him?" Isidora asked.

"YES!" Salem responded dramatically.

"How much time left?" Isidora asked.

"Oh, you've been done for a couple seconds now," Chris chuckled. "I just thought it was funny seeing Little Miss Emotionless in a state of complete terror."

Isidora shot a death glare at Chris.

"Either way, that's a point for Killer Boldface, tying the teams at one apiece," Chris smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** Even the original Dracula novel creeped me out, and Dracula was a complete useless coward in that one. I don't know, I have enough problems with my blood as it is. I don't need vampires making it worse.

 **Mondo:** I'm not really fond of being bitten either, so I can kind of see where Isidora is coming from, though I'll admit I'm a bit surprised an intellect like her is so afraid of a mythical creature.

* * *

Chris led the contestants back into the mess hall and into the kitchen.

"Oh geez. It's my turn, isn't it?" Jasper realized.

"Yup," Chris beamed. "Jasper's fear is extreme cold." With this, Chris opened the walk-in freezer. "So his task is to spend thirty seconds in this freezer. I'll leave the door cracked open, so he can exit at any time if he wishes to forfeit."

"I-I-I can do this," Jasper insisted. He looked into the open freezer, shivering.

"Are you shivering because you're cold or because you're scared?" Amelie asked.

"I'm not even sure myself," Jasper admitted with a frightened smile. He took a deep breath before walking into the freezer. Chris moved the door so that it was only open by a crack.

Jasper's eye caught a cow carcass hanging from the ceiling and he immediately approached it.

"Maybe it still has body heat," Jasper decided. He touched the carcass, only to find that it was colder than the air around him. "This is hopeless!" Jasper slapped himself across the face. "No! You can't look weak. Mondo still doesn't trust you, and there are no guarantees that you'll be safe if we lose!"

Jasper pulled his arms inside of his shirt.

"Oh, why do I have to be wearing summer clothes?" Jasper asked. "Note to self: if I get called back for another season, I'm wearing jeans and a sweater."

Silence.

"Is this challenge over yet?!" Jasper shouted.

"It's been thirty seconds. I counted," Isidora stated from outside the freezer.

"Alright, fine," Chris sulked. "Buzzkill."

Chris opened the freezer door, and Jasper exited as quickly as he could.

"That's another point for Screaming Italics," Chris said as he marked on his clipboard.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** That challenge was _cold_ , Chris. Hmph! _(He snaps his fingers in a Z formation.)_

 **Isidora:** After how my challenge went down, I'm going to do my part to make sure whoever's facing their fear knows when their time is up. I'm not heartless. Even if I am emotionless, apparently.

* * *

Chris led Mondo to the girls' cabin.

"Oh, ha ha, I'm gay, so obviously my challenge has to be in the girls' cabin," Mondo grimaced.

"Don't pull that on me, dude. We'd just filled the boys' cabin with Hugh's challenge, and we needed somewhere to put yours," Chris explained.

"What is Mondo's challenge?" Quentin asked.

"If Mondo would enter the cabin, we'll find out," Chris grinned.

Mondo sighed before opening the door, revealing that the entrance had a baby gate covering it. Inside the cabin were a multitude of rats.

"Geez!" Mondo reacted reflexively.

"Mondo's fear is rodents," Chris explained. "Like with the other challenges, you have to spend thirty seconds surrounded by your fear. As soon as you set one foot over the baby gate, your task will end, whether thirty seconds has passed or not."

"Ugh. Understood," Mondo said as he nervously glanced at the interior of the girls' cabin. He tentatively stepped over the baby gate, and Chris started the timer.

"If those rats get into my stash of Snickers bars, I'm going to sue!" Naomi insisted.

"Wait, you have a stash and you didn't tell me?" Ursula asked.

"It's mine!" Naomi cried.

"But I love candy!" Ursula pouted.

"Mine!" Naomi insisted.

Meanwhile, in the girls' cabin, the rats gathered around Mondo's feet.

"I don't suppose I can squash them?" Mondo asked Chris nervously.

"As much as I love gratuitous violence, bloodstains are expensive to clean. Believe me," Chris said. "So no, no squashing the rats."

"Just don't bite me!" Mondo ordered the rats.

"You should be good, actually," Isidora said.

"Yes, that's thirty seconds," Chris sighed. "But seriously Isidora, stop it, or I'll eliminate you from the game right here and now."

"You wouldn't!" Warwick snapped.

"I did it with Ella and I did it with Max. Try me," Chris sneered.

Silence.

"Either way, yes, Mondo gets the point, putting the Italics at 3, while the Boldface still rest at 1," Chris recapped. "But things can always turn around, because it's Naomi's turn!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mondo:** Rats are just filthy, diseased creatures. I feel like I need to shower for the rest of the night. Eugh.

 **Amelie:** I know it's tough being surrounded by your biggest fear, because I just did it a couple minutes ago. I have to admire Mondo being able to do it. Then again, I've always been a bit of a coward.

* * *

Someone tapped Naomi on her shoulder. She turned her head to see a man in a hockey mask with a chainsaw in hand. She skated away screaming as quickly as she could.

"Well, Naomi's fear is Jason Voorhees, but it looks like she's already failed the challenge, so..." Chris started.

"Wait, is that just Salem in a different costume?" Isidora asked as she examined 'Jason'.

"...Bleh bleh bleh!" Salem roared as he removed his mask.

"Hey, my challenge is over!" Isidora scolded.

"And so is Naomi's. Moving on," Chris said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** Once, this kid at my school named Jason had a crush on me. He was nice and kind of cute, but I couldn't bring myself to like him because of his name!

 **Vardaman:** Maybe it's for the best Naomi failed that challenge. I don't think I can fix chainsaw lacerations. _(He chuckles awkwardly.)_

* * *

An intern arrived on scene carrying two buckets.

"Phoenix! Time for your challenge!" Chris announced.

"Oh no..." Phoenix said quietly.

"Phoenix is afraid of buckets?" Fauna asked.

"Not the buckets, but specifically what's in them," Chris grinned as the intern set the buckets down and left.

The campers all looked into the buckets to see a viscous, green liquid.

"Slime..." Phoenix said with disgust.

"Slime?" Hugh scoffed.

"I can't stand the idea of it," Phoenix shuddered. "It's a bit hard to explain, I just... no!"

"Your challenge is to allow both buckets to be poured onto you," Chris explained. "You can run off at any point, especially since the slime will ooze _very slowly_ out of the buckets."

Phoenix scanned over his teammates.

"I'll try," Phoenix sighed.

"Cool," Chris grinned as he picked up a bucket and held it above Phoenix's head. He tipped it so that the slime would pour out slowly upon the realist's head.

Phoenix's face twisted in anguish as soon as the slime touched his head. Chris continued to pour the slime upon the boy's head, until he ran away from underneath it halfway through the first bucket.

"Wait, no, I-!" Phoenix stammered. "I didn't even mean to quit. I mean, I wanted to, but I didn't want to. You know what I'm saying right?"

"All I know is that you did not earn your team a point," Chris said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** Fear is a fascinating thing. It can make people do things they'd never think to do. I'd rather not lose the challenge, and I wanted to tough it out, but I guess something in me snapped and I failed the task.

 **Ursula:** I should probably feel bad, but all I'm wondering is if Phoenix could watch Nickelodeon as a kid or if that was just too much for him.

* * *

"Quentin, it's your turn!" Chris announced.

Quentin took Tori's hand.

"Quentin's fear is making hard decisions on the fly," Chris explained. "So I have a dilemma for you. If you can come up with an answer and a valid explanation for your answer within thirty seconds, you will pass the task."

"You can do this, Quentin," Tori told her boyfriend.

"Oh, and before I forget, no outside help," Chris added. "Anyone who tries to help Quentin will get a point docked from their team's score."

Quentin held on tighter to Tori's hand. "I'm ready Chris. Lay it on me," he said, forcing a smile.

"Alright. Here it is," Chris said. "You are the CEO of a company, interviewing potential employees. Your best friend has applied for the job, and he is qualified, and he really wants this job. Meanwhile, someone else, a complete stranger, is even more qualified, and also really wants this job. You may only hire one of them. Will you risk your company's well-being and thus the jobs of many for the sake of your friendship, or will you risk your friendship and leaving your closest friend feeling betrayed for the sake of your company? Your time starts now."

"Oh geez," Quentin frowned. "I mean... uh... I don't know!"

Quentin looked to Tori for support. She could only smile in return.

"Aw, who cares, we have the lead anyway, right?" Quentin asked.

"Your task won't end until time is up. Whether you succeed or not depends on how you answer," Chris reminded Quentin.

"I'd give it to my friend, because... no, wait..." Quentin groaned. "I can't do this! Not in thirty seconds!"

Everyone was silent until Chris broke the tension.

"That's thirty seconds. No point for Quentin," Chris said. "But, as he said, the Italics are still in the lead. That may or may not change, but for now, it's time for Tori's fear."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Quentin:** After thinking about it, I've decided to give my friend the job, because he's still qualified, and I don't want to put my friendship in jeopardy. I'm sure the other, more qualified guy can find a job elsewhere. I know the challenge is already over, but I just felt like I needed some closure.

 **Fauna:** I think Chris is leaving out the most important factor: the ethnicity of these two potential employees. Obviously I wouldn't hire a white person because it's not like they can't get jobs.

* * *

An intern arrived on-scene with rubber gloves and a scalpel in hand.

"...To be honest, I expected worse," Tori said with a nervous smirk.

"What's your fear, babe?" Quentin asked.

"Blood," Tori answered.

"You did seem a bit tense when the vampire was here," Quentin noted with a nod.

"Tori, your task is to make an incision on both of your arms and to allow yourself to bleed out for thirty seconds," Chris explained. "Of course, try not to make the cuts too big, otherwise we might have a whole new method of elimination this season."

"That ain't funny, Chris," Vardaman frowned.

Tori put the rubber gloves on and took the scalpel. She looked at the scalpel uncertainly.

"They only have two challenges left. The best they can do is tie," Quentin assured Tori as he put his hand on her shoulder. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

Tori paused to consider this.

"We basically have to do our challenges, huh?" Ursula remarked to Warwick.

"You thrive on fear, and I am a fearless king!" Warwick answered. "This shall be easy for the both of us!"

"...I'm feeling sick just thinking about doing this," Tori confessed. "I won't do it."

"Lame," Chris remarked. "Anyway, Ursula, it's time for your challenge."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Tori:** If tonight has taught me anything, it's that there's no shame in feeling fear. Everyone thus far has expressed discomfort in their challenges. No matter how strong I may get, even I will feel fear, and that's only natural.

 **Quentin:** I'm glad Tori didn't do it just to prove herself. I already know that she's the strongest girl ever, and not doing a fear challenge won't make me feel any less for her. Even some of the most confident people here couldn't do their challenges, after all.

* * *

Chris led the campers back to the mess hall.

"I wonder what Ursula could be afraid of," Naomi thought aloud.

"Christmas?" Phoenix joked.

"Now, Ursula, if you would just sit here," Chris said as he patted on one of the tables.

"What do you have planned, McLean?" Ursula asked, annoyed, as she sat down at the table.

An intern arrived and put a small pile of papers in front of Ursula.

"Since your fear, Ursula, is growing up, we had to get creative," Chris admitted. "Your task is to complete this stack of tax paperwork. No time limit since I really want to let the fear sink in, plus doing paperwork in thirty seconds is impossible. Granted, the latter's never stopped me before, but you kids keep signing up for this game anyway, so..."

Ursula cracked her neck. "Give me a pen," she said impatiently.

Chris handed her a pen, and she began to scan over the top paper, writing where necessary. She did this with the next paper, and the next. After several minutes, she had finished her tax paperwork.

"Well, I'm impressed," Chris admitted. "Even I don't do it that thoroughly most of the time," he added under his breath. "Point for Killer Boldface, bringing them up to two points."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** I had no idea what I was doing, but since my money wasn't actually on the line or anything, it wasn't that bad. It stressed me out a bit, but nothing drastic. ...I am afraid of growing up, though. Once you stop being a kid, you never go back. That's the kind of scary that I can't deal with.

 **Hugh:** I call BS on that challenge. Nobody likes doing tax forms! I mean, I assume. I always hear adults complaining about it. Point is, Ursula's not special for not liking tax paperwork.

* * *

Chris walked up to the TV set.

"Alright, so, remember when I said that the childbirth video was the only one we had?" Chris asked. He then pulled another videotape out of his pocket. "I lied. Hehaha. I also have one for Vardaman's fear!"

"Consarn it," Vardaman mumbled.

Chris put the tape in the tape player. A blue screen displayed on the TV set.

"Oops. Forgot to rewind it. Hold on," Chris said as he hit the rewind button.

The campers hung around awkwardly while they waited for the tape to rewind.

"So... who here likes pie?" Jasper asked, breaking the silence.

"I do!" Warwick answered loudly.

"Alright, it's finished," Chris said. "Now, Vardaman's fear is ghosts, so he has to watch this thoroughly spooky video for thirty seconds. If he can do that without looking away, he'll earn a point for the Italics."

"Now hold on. Hugh got to look away from the dolls for his fear," Vardaman frowned.

"His fear was also tangibly there," Chris pointed out.

"I think the more important issue here is the fact that Chris is using a VHS player in the 21st century," Mondo remarked.

Chris glared at Mondo as he pressed the play button on the tape player. A scene of SFX ghosts from an old movie appeared on screen. Vardaman instantly looked away.

"Well, that was fast," Chris chuckled. "Might even be the record for the fastest wimp-out of this challenge, rivaled only by Naomi."

"It's almost like we're the same person, am I right?" Naomi said in a forced manner.

"...What?" Vardaman asked.

"I don't know!" Naomi said with an even more forced smile.

"That leaves the Italics at three points out of a potential seven," Chris said. "Let's see if Warwick can tie that up."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I don't actually believe in ghosts, mind, but I still think it's creepy, the idea of someone bein' so angry that their soul refuses to leave Earth and wreaks havoc on those unfortunate enough to cross its path. Never did like ghost stories much. It's probably why I'm not invited to go campin' all that often.

 **Phoenix:** All these fears of things that don't exist interest me a great deal. Maybe I'll ask some people about it... Eh, maybe not. I'd rather not even think about slime, so I won't press anyone on their fears.

* * *

Chris led the campers outside, where a small airplane could be seen.

"Heh... It's a good thing I am a fearless king, eh?" Warwick chuckled unconvincingly.

"Warwick's fear is flying," Chris explained. "So he must pilot this small plane for thirty seconds. There is an eject button that he can press at any time if he wishes to forfeit before then."

"What if I crash?!" Warwick gasped. "N-Not that I'm worried about crashing. I won't crash. But, you know, for the sake of argument..."

"Then that'll count as the challenge being cut short, and you will not earn a point for your team," Chris said.

"...You know what, I'd rather not risk my life for the sake of a challenge," Warwick decided. "I'm not scared or anything, it's just... I'd rather be not dead. Hard to lead a country when you're not breathing, you know."

"Keep in mind that you're basically forfeiting the challenge for your whole team by refusing to do the challenge," Chris said. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Uh..." Warwick looked at his teammates. "Wh-What about Genesis? She's lasted the whole challenge without asking for her phone back! That's another point for us! We are tied!"

"That is true..." Chris admitted as he fished Genesis's phone from his pocket and tossed it back at the mute girl. "Three points for each team... guess it's time for a tiebreaker."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Ha! I managed to avoid doing the challenge without looking like a coward! Now my future subjects can only respect me more!

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Honestly, half of the time, I had forgotten that I didn't have my phone. I was too busy watching everyone else's tasks to care.

* * *

"Now, who to compete in this tiebreaker...?" Chris asked. "You know, Tori and Warwick didn't even try. They'll both get to do it."

"Wha?!" Warwick gasped.

"That sounds fair," Tori said. "What is the tiebreaker?"

"...Shoot, what _is_ the tiebreaker?" Chris mumbled. "Did we even plan one? Uh..." Chris cleared his throat and began to speak at a normal volume. "I'm, uh, thinking of a number between one and ten. Closest guess wins the challenge."

"Are you serious?!" Warwick snapped. "That's so arbitrary!"

"Three," Tori guessed.

"Uh... Four?" Warwick guessed.

"Alright. Those are your final guesses," Chris declared. "And the winners of this challenge are..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"The Killer Boldface!" Chris announced.

"Whew!" Warwick breathed a huge sigh of relief.

"I see..." Tori said.

"Now, since I'm a gracious host, and because I'm getting tired, I'll hold off the elimination until tomorrow night," Chris said. "Screaming Italics, you'll have all day to decide who to send home. You're welcome."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Did Warwick just accidentally win the challenge for us despite refusing to even attempt his fear? This game, I swear...

 **Phoenix:** Well, that certainly was a challenge. At least I basically have all of tomorrow off. Maybe I'll take a swim or something. Actually enjoy myself instead of plotting my next several moves.

 **Quentin:** Well, we lost. Now I kind of wish I hadn't gone with the whole "we have a giant lead" philosophy. Still, I'm in the majority, so I don't think it's going to turn me into a target or anything. Hopefully.

 **Amelie:** Only fitting that the team with me on it loses a fear challenge, right? Heheheheh... But seriously, I am really nervous about what might happen at the elimination.

* * *

It was the dead of night, and Fauna approached the staff building. She knocked loudly on the door.

After a few seconds, a tired-looking Lindsay opened the door.

"What is it?" Lindsay asked.

"I've got something important I need to tell you," Fauna said anxiously.

* * *

The next morning, the campers ate their breakfast peacefully. Everyone was there, with the sole exception of Fauna.

"How's the food?" Warwick asked Isidora.

"You didn't have to make me breakfast, you know," Isidora said.

"I know, it's not like a king to do work, since that's what the servants are for, but I just felt like doing something nice for my, uh, friend who is nothing more than a friend."

"Subtle," Isidora said sarcastically.

"I didn't want anyone to catch onto us," Warwick pouted.

"Attention, campers!" Chris announced as he entered the mess hall. "Heh, I was going to do this on the intercom, but you're all conveniently right here."

"I don't think Fauna's here," Mondo pointed out.

"Yeah, that's the thing," Chris chuckled. "Last night, Fauna told Lindsay that the stress of the game had been too much for her and that she had intentions to quit the game. After double-checking to make sure that she was 100% positive about it, Lindsay escorted Fauna out of the game via Elevator of Shame. Meaning that, yes, as of last night, Fauna is out of the game in 14th place."

This instantly sparked murmurs among the cast.

"I'm sure you all have a lot of questions," Chris said. "If you have any questions about her intentions, I don't know, ask her when you're eliminated. As for questions about tonight's elimination for the Screaming Italics, it's still going to happen, so Italics, don't get too cozy, m'kay? That's all the news I had, so you can carry on with your day."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** Aw, that's too bad. Fauna may not have been the nicest, but it sucks to hear that _anyone_ felt too stressed to continue to stay in this game.

 **Phoenix:** Well, that takes care of one of my targets. How convenient.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ And just like that, I've lost an ally! I still have Naomi, but now she's all I have! I know Phoenix wants me gone, that much is obvious, and Ursula's probably joined him by now. There _might_ be hope with Isidora and Warwick. I'll just have to try.

 **Fauna:** Voting out Zarardo has sparked this internal debate that has not left me since! I haven't gotten a wink of sleep since it happened, and then having a fear challenge on top of that, plus the stress of having to work to stay in the game?! Uh-uh! Too much! That's why I'm about to tell Chris or Lindsay or whoever that I'm quitting this game! I realize that I'm just eliminating another person of color here, but I already failed that mission after Zarardo left! May a more deserving POC win! Fuck this game! I'm out!

* * *

Amelie, Jasper, and Mondo met up on the Dock of Shame.

"So, what's the plan here?" Jasper asked.

"I'm leaning towards Quentin, actually," Mondo said.

"Why Quentin?" Amelie asked.

"He still has that hidden statue, plus he's in a relationship, plus he's a social threat, plus he's not a challenge threat... He has 'winner' written all over him," Mondo explained.

"But how are we going to flush his statue with just three people?" Amelie asked.

"You forget that Hugh is a factor here," Jasper said. "I can talk to Hugh about it. He probably won't listen to either of you two since you're both good friends with Ephraim."

"What makes you think Hugh will listen to you over anyone from the other alliance?" Mondo asked.

"I'm saying it's worth a shot here, boo," Jasper said. "Right now we don't have many other options, do we?"

"I think we can trust Jasper here," Amelie told Mondo.

"If you say so..." Mondo conceded.

"I really would like to earn your trust back," Jasper said. "I'll go find Hugh right now, in fact."

"Alright. Go," Mondo said expectantly.

"Adios~" Jasper winked as he walked off.

"...You look unsure," Amelie told Mondo.

"I am unsure," Mondo admitted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Mondo:** Jasper's definitely sneakier than he lets on. Ephraim's elimination is proof of that. Sadly, I don't have much of a choice right now but to put my game in his hands. At least, if worse comes to worst, Jasper probably won't be far behind in going home.

 **Amelie:** I get why Mondo doesn't want to trust Jasper, but he is really friendly, and I still think that voting Ephraim was more of a game move than a personal move. I'm willing to give Jasper another chance. I just wish Mondo was as willing as I am.

* * *

Hugh, Quentin, Tori, and Vardaman met up in the forest.

"Do we have a plan here?" Quentin asked.

"I'm thinkin' now's as good a time as any to take out Mondo's statue," Vardaman said.

"But wouldn't we be putting the elimination in Mondo's hands?" Tori asked.

"Actually, I was thinkin' about that," Vardaman said. "I think Hugh could be a good way to help with that."

"Me? However so?" Hugh smirked.

"If you vote for Amelie tonight, and convince Jasper to do the same, then your votes would be tied with Mondo's n' Amelie's, plus we'd still have a majority against Mondo, so there's a good chance that Amelie would go home tonight instead of whoever she n' Mondo vote for," Vardaman explained.

"Wow, you really put a lot of thought into this," Quentin pointed out, impressed.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures," Vardaman said. "So what do you say, Hugh? Can we trust you with this task?"

"Well, it's not like I have much of a choice here," Hugh shrugged. "I'll go find Jasper and see what I can do. Can't promise anything though. I never talk to Jasper, so I don't know how well he'll listen to me."

"I can come along if you want," Quentin offered.

"I can do it myself, thank you," Hugh scowled as he walked off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** _(He is chewing on a tongue depressor.)_ Well, here goes nothin'. Hopefully Hugh still remembers the plan.

 **Quentin:** I'll admit, it's still kind of weird to me that Hugh is in this alliance at all. Nothing against him, but he never struck me as someone I'd end up working with. I guess weird things happen in this game all the time, though. Like Fauna quitting, for example.

 **Tori:** I have an odd feeling about Hugh and Vardaman. It may be nothing, it may be something. I'll let tonight's vote speak for itself.

* * *

Hugh and Jasper met up in the washroom.

"So, how are things with the friendly trio?" Jasper asked.

"Quentin and Tori are voting Mondo," Hugh answered. "Vardaman wants to blindside you by having you vote for Mondo, and he and I vote for you. Obviously I'm not doing that. What about Amelie and Mondo? What do they want?"

"They want the four us to vote for Quentin," Jasper answered.

"So both sides are voting for someone with a statue, it looks like," Hugh noticed.

"So, even if Vardaman does vote for me, no matter what, you and I will decide who goes home," Jasper realized.

"...I guess you're right," Hugh chuckled. "How very very interesting."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Yeah, I was annoyed by Jasper at first, but he's sneakier than he lets on. I'm liking our plan here.

 **Jasper:** Hugh's a punk and, as he would say, an artard, but right now he's become a very valuable tool to me. At least for now. The merge can't be far off and, once it happens, I may find a better tool. But for now, I'll deal with Hugh for as long as he's helpful.

* * *

The seven members of the Screaming Italics met up at the bonfire pit. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"Welp, looks like the teams will even back up very shortly, won't they?" Chris smirked. "Of course, you all know how it works by now, but for those just tuning in: if someone is given a marshmallow, then that means that they are safe. If they are not given a marshmallow, then they have been voted out of the game. But, for the sake of suspense, I will reveal right away that the person with the most votes also holds an Invincibility Statue. Mondo, would you like to use it to save yourself?"

"I would," Mondo confirmed as he stood up and handed Chris his statue.

"Now then," Chris continued. "Marshmallows go to..."

"Mondo."

"Hugh."

"Amelie."

"Vardaman."

"Jasper."

This left Quentin and Tori in the bottom two.

"Well, we both know how this ends," Quentin sighed.

"We do..." Tori nodded.

"It's been fun," Quentin smiled.

"Save it for the Dock of Shame," Chris said. "Actually, you both tied with two votes each, so we're going to do a revote. Everyone who's not Quentin or Tori, go cast a vote for either Quentin or Tori."

After the Italics re-cast their votes, they met back at the bonfire.

"Alright, I have the votes, and there is a majority here," Chris said. "The person with the most votes was..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Quentin," Chris finally said. "Which means, unless you have a hidden statue, you're done-zo."

"I do not have a hidden statue," Quentin said with a sad smile.

"In that case, if anyone wants to see Quentin off, you can follow us to the Dock of Shame. Everyone else can head to bed."

* * *

Quentin, Tori, Vardaman, and Chris all came to the Dock of Shame.

"Well... that happened," Quentin chuckled.

"I have no idea what on Earth happened tonight," Tori admitted. "But whatever it is, I'm not happy with it. You don't deserve to go so early, Quentin."

"Hey, it's fine," Quentin told Tori. "You still have Vardaman and maybe Hugh. Besides, eliminations happen all the time in this game. Had to happen to someone, right?"

"Sorry to see you go," Vardaman said to Quentin. "You're one of the nicest guys I've ever met."

"Likewise," Quentin beamed.

"Heh..." Vardaman chuckled awkwardly.

Quentin took Tori's hands and looked her in the eyes.

"Tori... Victoria... you are the strongest girl on the planet. If I can trust anyone to win this game, it's you," Quentin smiled. "You're strong, you're smart, you're tenacious. I'll be rooting for you, and I know you won't let me down."

"Quentin, I..." Tori blushed.

Tori was cut off was Quentin stood on his tiptoes to kiss her on the lips. She kissed back and held her boyfriend in a tight embrace.

"Okay, not even Osric gave this much PDA to his girlfriend when he got voted out," Chris pointed out as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors. "Tori, Vardaman, you two can head to bed now. Any last words, Quentin?"

"You know, I would wish these two luck, but I've learned that luck isn't real. Sometimes good things happen, and sometimes bad things happen. It's how you react to these things that'll reflect on your life as a whole," Quentin mused.

"I'll never forget it," Tori smiled as she left the Dock of Shame. Vardaman silently followed her.

Quentin entered the Elevator of Losers.

"Quentin, you have finished this game in 13th place," Chris said.

"I made the top half, so I'm not complaining at all," Quentin smiled.

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater. Chris turned to the camera "And in a surprise double elimination, both Fauna and Quentin have gone home!"

"And I got to take a two-day break!" Lindsay chirped as she arrived on-scene. "You didn't do anything _too_ mean, did you?"

"What? _Moi_?" Chris asked in faux offense. "Anyway, will Genesis adapt to the sudden loss of her ally? Will Warwick gel with the rest of Phoenix's alliance? Will Naomi be able to keep balancing being friends with two rivals?"

"Will Tori cope without her boyfriend beside her?" Lindsay asked. "Are Hugh and Jasper running their team? Is Mondo in danger without his statue?"

"I can hardly wait to find out myself," Chris beamed.

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Tori:** I suppose now is as good a time as any to take out Mondo's statue. I vote for Mondo.

 **Mondo:** Once Quentin's statue is out of the picture, I'll be the only one on this team who still has one, which could be imperative in taking back power. Thus, I vote for Quentin.

 **Quentin:** Maybe tonight will be the night where Mondo finally loses his statue. Who knows?

 **Amelie:** I, uh, I guess I vote for Quentin. He seems nice, but... that's the game. Sorry.

 **Jasper:** Hugh and I decided we wanted to take out someone from the bigger alliance. Quentin's got a statue, and Vardaman's too much fun to mess with, so I guess that just leaves Tori.

 **Hugh:** Sorry Tori, but you're a pretty huge threat right now, so taking you out will make me look even cooler.

 **Vardaman:** Tori's been lookin' at me weird all day. I think she may be catchin' on to my thing with Hugh. I'd better just vote for Mondo to be safe. Hugh, if Amelie and Mondo vote you out, I apologize in advance.

 _(Vardaman changed his vote to Quentin in the re-vote. All other eligible votes stayed the same.)_

* * *

 _A/N: Actually, this wasn't originally going to be a double boot. It was originally just going to be Quentin going home with Fauna being voted out in the next episode, but I felt that, with the way Fauna's arc was going, that it would make more sense for her to have a bit of a mental breakdown for doing the one thing she fought so hard to prevent from happening, and to end up quitting. It just felt right with the character. Sorry for those who wanted one additional episode worth of Fauna, but this is where she goes._

 _As for Quentin, if you can believe it, I was actually worried, starting out, that he may end up being dull and unpopular, but he ended up being one of the more popular characters in the fic. His ditzy yet optimistic nature was fun to write, and the fact that it was more downplayed than a lot of the personalities I've written helped, I think. Quentin was just a genuinely sweet and happy guy, and in a cutthroat game like Total Drama, sometimes someone who just wants to enjoy himself is needed._

 _For those curious, this season will still follow the standard 26-episode format of a Total Drama season - it's just going to have one extra non-elimination episode now._


	14. Ep 13: Save and Shut Down

_A/N: Welp, I'm back in school. :')_

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, Lindsay was given the day off, which meant I got to have a little bit of extra fun with the infamous fear challenge," Chris said as he rubbed his hands together.

Silence.

"This is the part where you say something," Chris reminded Lindsay.

"I don't know what to say. I had the day off," Lindsay shrugged.

"Ugh. Fine!" Chris groaned. "Dynamics on both teams were tense. As the numbers are dwindling, people are finding it harder and harder to stay in the majority, and people are starting to get desperate for allies. Hugh ended up in secret alliances with both Jasper and Vardaman, and Warwick is now a part of Phoenix's alliance, to give two examples."

"Hugh and Vardaman? Really?" Lindsay asked.

"Review the footage if you don't believe me," Chris shrugged. "Hey, in fact, why didn't you review the footage before the recap, huh?"

"...I forgot," Lindsay admitted.

"Oh, you forgot something? Stop the presses," Chris remarked. "Anyway, like I said, the challenge was for the contestants to face their biggest fears. Predictably, a lot of them couldn't do it, but a handful of people from both teams did end up toughing it out... in various capacities. Some managed to grin and bear it to earn their team a point, some tried to pull it off and failed, and some didn't even try. Due to a tiebreaker, the Killer Boldface won, but that didn't mean none of them went home that night."

"Ooh! I know this!" Lindsay added. "Fauna woke me up in the middle of the night and told me that she wanted to quit the game because the stress was just too much for her. So I sent her down in the Elevator of Losers before telling any of the contestants and without any goodbyes. That's what Chris said the quitter policy was."

"Yes, and Lindsay actually did it right. I'm almost impressed," Chris smiled. "But Fauna's quitting didn't affect that the Screaming Italics still had to vote someone off. Invincibility Statues were the big scare that evening, and both Mondo and Quentin received majority votes that night, eliminating Mondo's statue, and eliminating Quentin from the game. Guess nobody knew that he'd given his statue to Tori."

"Honestly, I can't remember who still has statues half the time," Lindsay admitted.

"Again, stop the presses," Chris remarked. "Are Tori and Vardaman able to rely on Hugh? Is Mondo boned without his statue? Is Amelie right to put her trust in Jasper?

"Will Naomi have to decide between siding with Genesis or Ursula?" Lindsay asked. "Will Phoenix continue to hold power? Will Isidora really fall for Warwick?"

"Doubtful," Chris fake-coughed. Lindsay leered at him. "I-I mean... find out, right here, on Total!" Chris started.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

Hugh, Tori, and Vardaman all ate breakfast together in the mess hall.

"You alright, Tori?" Vardaman asked. "I bet it ain't easy gettin' your boyfriend voted out like that."

"I managed to survive before we were dating," Tori frowned. "I think I can survive without him."

"That's the spirit," Hugh smirked.

"...At any rate, we did suffer a loss, but we're gonna have to focus if we don't want to keep those losses up," Vardaman said. "Mondo ain't got a statue anymore, so even if we don't have a majority right now, there's at least a chance to take him out."

"I think Jasper voted for Mondo last night," Hugh said. "We can probably get him to do it again."

"That doesn't make any sense," Tori said. "Mondo had a majority against him, so he lost his statue. Then Quentin and I had the same number of votes initially. If Jasper voted for Mondo, then Amelie and Mondo would have had to vote different ways. But they're aligned now, so why would they do that?"

"I don't know. Ask them yourself," Hugh shrugged.

"Perhaps I will," Tori said as she stood up and left.

"I take it you voted for Tori last night?" Vardaman asked Hugh.

"It was Jasper's idea," Hugh shrugged. "He figured that if Mondo and Quentin were going to get all the votes, then any votes against someone else would be deadly. He wanted to take out a threat. Believe me, I had to convince him not to target you. Guess I didn't need it since Quentin didn't play his statue for whatever reason."

"That's right, Quentin had a statue, didn't he?" Vardaman remembered. "Then why didn't he..."

Hugh's and Vardaman's eyes both lit up.

"Tori," the boys said in unison.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** I like to think I managed to avoid most of the blame for Quentin leaving. Yeah, I did throw Jasper under the bus, but between him and Vardaman, I feel like Vardaman's the stronger ally anyway. Besides, the target's still Mondo, right? Jasper's safe.

 **Vardaman:** It'd be just like Quentin to give his statue to Tori... Now, Tori's still my ally and my friend, but I'm definitely gonna have to be wary of her. She could be deadly in the merge, between her challenge strength, smarts, and Invincibility Statue. _(He begins to chew on a tongue depressor.)_

 **Tori:** I'll be honest: I'm more upset than I'd like to be about Quentin going home. I swore that this game would be a means to get stronger and nothing more... and yet, I'm letting my emotions take over at the moment. Not to mention I'm not sure who I can trust at this point with how confusing the votes were last night...

* * *

Isidora and Warwick met up on top of the thousand-foot cliff.

"Well, Phoenix says I'm in," Warwick told Isidora. "But he also said that my word carries the least weight, which is just plain rude!"

"Well, that's kind of understandable," Isidora thought aloud. "Still, he seems to be talking to Ursula more and more, so I'm wondering if she's going to be higher on his totem pole than I am..."

"Well, his totem pole is irrelevant!" Warwick decided. "Because you're incredibly high on mine. Second to me, in fact."

"I would hope so, being my fiance and all," Isidora said in a forced manner.

"By the same token, I expect I'm high on your totem pole as well," Warwick added.

"Of course," Isidora said emotionlessly.

"Greetings," Genesis texted as she approached the two.

"Why, if it isn't Revelation!" Warwick announced.

"Never heard that one before," Genesis texted as she rolled her eyes.

"You rarely talk to either of us," Isidora pointed out. "Okay, yeah, you don't talk, I know. You know what I meant."

"I'm here for an alliance offer," Genesis texted. "After the unexpected loss of Fauna yesterday, I'm running out of options. Phoenix and Ursula actively want me gone, and Naomi, though sweet, I don't think I can trust to save my game."

"Why should we help you? If I recall, you've tried to vote me out before," Warwick pouted.

"Now, now," Isidora said to Warwick. "We should hear her out."

"But remember how she voted off Osric? Who's to say she won't do the same to us?" Warwick asked.

"When I voted out Osric, it's because I had better options for allies," Genesis texted. "There are six people on this team, meaning half of us are standing right here. I have no reason to backstab you."

"And what about in the merge?" Warwick asked.

"Yeah, he actually raises a good point there," Isidora pointed out. "What's stopping you from turning on us if we help you make the merge?"

"What do I have to do to prove myself?" Genesis texted with a scowl.

"...Let Warwick and me talk it over. We'll think of something," Isidora said.

"Thank you for your time," Genesis texted with a sweet smile.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** Genesis... I want to say she's telling the truth in that she wouldn't backstab us, but then, Phoenix has insisted for so long that she can't be trusted, and the lack of Osric can serve as proof towards that. Still, Phoenix also seems to be quite the threat, so I don't want my only alliance to be with him. Hm...

 **Warwick:** Yeah, nice try, Genesis, but I have ten times the wisdom of King Solomon, and I can see that you're not someone to be trusted. Everyone has to go home sometime, and methinks your time may be coming soon.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Unless the merge is today, Isidora and Warwick are my only chance at survival in this game short of winning every challenge until the merge. I think Isidora might be aligned with Phoenix, but I'm not sure, so fingers crossed.

* * *

Amelie and Mondo met up on the Dock of Shame.

"Well, last night was bittersweet," Mondo stated.

"Sorry about your statue," Amelie said. "Quentin seemed pretty nice too. But at least we have more of a chance in the game... right?"

"Perhaps," Mondo said. "Though the fact that Quentin and Tori had the same number of votes last night troubles me."

"How come?" Amelie asked.

"Because how could the majority of votes fall on me and still result in a tie?" Mondo asked. "I know I voted for Quentin, and I assumed you and Jasper did too, but for those votes to tie with someone, three others would have to vote for Quentin, which is impossible since we only had seven people on this team, two or three of whom were aligned with Quentin."

"Oh my goodness!" Amelie gasped. "What do you think happened?"

"My guess is that Quentin, Tori, and Vardaman voted for me, and Hugh and Jasper voted for Tori," Mondo decided. "That's the only way I can make sense of it."

"I'm sure Jasper had the best intentions in voting for Tori," Amelie assured him.

"Actually, I agree," Mondo said. "He didn't vote for either of us, and it seems to me like Tori was his preferred target once all the dust of the statues settled. But then, why didn't Quentin play his statue?"

"I'm not sure," Amelie admitted. "I'd ask him, but... you know."

"Well, that's all in the past," Mondo decided. "Right now, our alliance makes up half of the team, and I assume Jasper gets along with Hugh well enough for the two to vote for Tori."

"So we should get Hugh back on our side?" Amelie asked.

"Amelie, I let Jasper back into our alliance because you trusted him. Do you trust Hugh?" Mondo asked.

"Not really..." Amelie admitted.

"Then Hugh is just a vote to us," Mondo stated. "Of course, we can't get rid of him because we don't have the votes to, so-"

"Why can't we get the votes?" Amelie asked. "I think Tori and Vardaman would vote for Hugh if we asked them, especially if he did vote for Tori."

"I guess. I don't know. I'd rather Tori or Vardaman go since they're much bigger threats than Hugh at any rate," Mondo decided. "Vardaman seems like the bigger threat between the two. Tori's stronger, sure, but Vardaman seems smarter and more sociable."

"That makes sense," Amelie nodded. "It's too bad we have to vote out all these nice people though."

"That's the game," Mondo said. "I choose to think that there are no good guys or bad guys in this scenario, just two opposing parties trying to reach the same goal."

"I see..." Amelie said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** It's weird. In past seasons, there's always been a clear good side and a clear bad side, but here... I don't know. Tori and Vardaman are too nice to be called bad guys, and even though Mondo and Jasper make cutthroat moves, I don't think they can be the bad guys because Ephraim and I aligned with them... or does that make _me_ a bad guy? And where does Hugh fit into all of this? He's not on a side, is he? I'm so confused!

 **Mondo:** To think my game relies on Hugh... In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have been so dismissive of him when he was my only ally. Still, if he does stick with Tori and Vardaman, he'd only force a tie, which could be very risky for him, so I think he'll come around.

* * *

Naomi found Ursula doodling something in a notebook.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeey Ursula," Naomi greeted. "What are you drawing?"

"I've been working on this idea for months," Ursula smirked. "It's a monster who kidnaps children and raises them to be just like him. Soon enough, when they grow up, those kids will kidnap other kids, and the cycle continues."

"Why would you do that?!" Naomi gasped.

"'Cause it's scary as shit," Ursula chuckled. "So what are you up to?"

"I just wanted to talk," Naomi said. "Can you promise me one thing before I do?"

"Oh, uh, sure," Ursula said as she closed her notebook. "What's up?"

"Can you promise not to say anything until I'm finished?" Naomi asked.

"Uh, okay, sure," Ursula decided.

"Okay, so, I know you're mad at Genesis," Naomi said.

"Can you please stop with Genesis?" Ursula asked, annoyed.

"You promised not to say anything until I was finished!" Naomi cried.

Ursula sighed and gestured for Naomi to keep speaking.

"Look, I know it hurts that Genesis turned on Osric. I wasn't super happy with the idea either," Naomi continued. "But I'm quickly finding out that this game isn't just about making friends and having fun. I know that's how you wanted to play, heck, that's how I wanted to play too. But not everyone wants to play like that, and the sad truth is, the people who play to win usually have more say in who goes home. Genesis only voted for Osric because she thought it would help her win. I can't say I know what it's like to have your boyfriend voted out, but I do know that Genesis didn't do it to hurt your feelings, or Osric's feelings, or anyone's feelings. She only did what she thought she needed to to survive. Osric asked you and me to vote for Genesis in order to survive, right? Personally, I don't see much difference between those two moves. Two of our allies tried to vote each other out. I know Osric leaving hurt, but what if Genesis had left? She and I have been good friends since the start. What if I got mad at you and Osric for voting her out? I'm not saying I expect you to forgive her right away, but at least try to think about it from her point of view, and from my point of view. I hate seeing my friends argue like this. I don't want to take sides. I just want us to get along. That's all I have to say."

Ursula paused to think before speaking up.

"...You really have a lot of faith in Genesis, don't you?" Ursula asked. "If she voted you out to survive, would you still say it was justified?"

"...I'd be upset, for sure, but it's just a game," Naomi said. "Only one person can win, and I honestly don't expect it to be me. But I'm still going to enjoy the time I still have here, and I want you to enjoy yours, and you can't enjoy it if you're focusing on being mad at Genesis for one move she made."

Ursula sighed.

"Like I said, I'm not telling you to forgive Genesis, but I want you to at least make the most of what could be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity," Naomi said before skating off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** Damn, Naomi's scary she's serious. But how can I enjoy myself when just looking at Genesis brings my blood to a boil? It's easy for Naomi to say to enjoy yourself because that's basically all she ever does. I'm not so optimistic.

 **Naomi:** Honestly, after thinking about it, I'm not sure I can say with certainty that I could forgive Genesis if she voted me out, especially since she made a final two deal with me. But I'm not going to dwell on that. I'm going to go skate down the cliff path and probably crash into stuff and probably get Vardaman to bandage me up again so I can tackle the rest of the day with a positive attitude! And scrapes. Lots of scrapes.

* * *

Hugh and Jasper met up behind the washrooms.

"So, Tori's still here," Jasper pointed out. "All because Quentin didn't play his statue."

"Yeah, actually, I have a theory," Hugh said. "Quentin gave his statue to Tori."

"That would make sense," Jasper nodded. "So, what? Who should our next target be?"

"Tori and Vardaman are thinking Mondo," Hugh stated. "Any word from your guys?"

"Haven't talked to them yet today," Jasper admitted. "Though given who all is left, I'd say we can narrow it down."

"Do you think we should try to take out Tori's statue?" Hugh asked.

"I don't know," Jasper said. "If we tell everyone that she has one, it could make her a good merge target, especially with how good she is in challenges. Good way to keep us from being targeted."

"And what if she does win all of the challenges? Then that point's moot, artard," Hugh pointed out.

"Mm, good point," Jasper conceded. "If we keep Mondo and/or Vardaman, he could always win some, which could put more of a target on her back."

"So you want to vote out Amelie then?" Hugh asked.

"Actually, that might not be a bad idea," Jasper decided. "If we don't take her out now, she could easily slip by in the merge. Possibly even defect to join some of the Boldface. Yeah, she trusts me, but I'm sure even she knows that one or two allies won't be enough."

"Eh, shame. She's the last cute girl on this team," Hugh said.

"Amen to that," Jasper chuckled.

"Wait, what?" Hugh asked. "I thought you were gay."

"I am, but I know which girls are cute and which aren't. Come on, don't tell me you don't know which guys are cute and which aren't," Jasper said.

"I really don't," Hugh said.

"Whatever. Amelie's the target for now," Jasper decided.

"I guess I can deal with that," Hugh shrugged.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** That was close. Almost gave my straightness away. But yeah, letting the challenge threats into the merge to take the target off of me. It's risky, especially since a challenge threat won last season, but the way I see it, at this point, the biggest threats are the one you least suspect, i.e. Amelie.

 **Hugh:** I don't know. I'm trying to maintain my bad boy image, and what's the point of that if there are no girls to impress? I guess there's girls on the other team, but I hear Isidora and Ursula are taken, Naomi likes Vardaman, and Genesis... eh, maybe there's some merit with Genesis. Still, only one or two potential girlfriends isn't enough. Nyeh, why Stormy~ have to go home? Or Bijou, for that matter?

* * *

Genesis knocked on the open door to the boys' cabin, where Phoenix sat on his bed reading a book. Phoenix turned his head to face the door.

"Come in," Phoenix said.

Genesis entered the cabin and stood next to Phoenix.

"We need to talk," Genesis texted.

"We do?" Phoenix asked. "Oh, right, because Fauna quit. It's a shame to lose an ally so unexpectedly, but I think we can make it work."

"Don't patronize me," Genesis texted with a glare. "I know you haven't been loyal to either of us. You and Ursula both have this random hate boner for me for no reason and I just need to know why."

"Well, I won't speak for Ursula, but I can tell you now that I have nothing against you personally," Phoenix said.

"Then why have you been trying to vote me out for so long?" Genesis texted with a scowl.

"Because I see you as a major threat who has the capacity to slip on by," Phoenix explained. "Judging by the fact that you're still here after all the effort I've put into voting you out, I'd say that's not exactly a baseless opinion. Wouldn't you agree?"

"We were aligned, weren't we?" Genesis texted. "Why not keep the threat on your side instead of going behind her back to take her out?"

"Because you went behind your own alliance's back to align with Fauna," Phoenix explained. "I couldn't trust you."

"Well how is that fair?" Genesis texted. "I went behind my alliance's back and now everyone wants me gone. You went behind your alliance's back and nobody bats an eye!"

"Well, for one, all of my original alliance has been eliminated, and for two, I never voted out any of my old allies," Phoenix stated. "You, meanwhile, still have old allies whom you have hurt, partially because you voted one of them out. Genesis, the difference between you and I here is that I analyzed every mechanic to my plan before enacting it. Sure, we both moved to different alliances for game reasons, but I made sure that my new alliance were all good at the game. Did you know that Osric was one of them?"

"Why would I know that?" Genesis texted. "This is the first I've heard of you actually having an alliance. I thought you were just playing for yourself."

"No, no, there was an alliance," Phoenix said. "Key word being 'was' as Osric and Zarardo have both been eliminated, both by your hand. You managed to be a threat to me without even trying to be. That, Genesis, is why I'm doing everything in my power to vote you out. You are incredibly dangerous to me. Again, nothing personal. Just the game."

"Fine," Genesis texted with a glare. "Let the games begin."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ ...Only, I can't vote Phoenix out because my statue's been played and my only stable ally right now is Naomi. Ugh. Maybe Isidora and Warwick would be on board with taking him out if they let me join them. Otherwise I am _fucked._

 **Phoenix:** Yes, I accidentally let it slip that I formed a secret alliance, but I didn't give away that Isidora has always been a part of it, nor did I mention that Ursula and Warwick are now among us. Ergo, I think the secret is still safe.

* * *

Vardaman had taken a stroll on the beach when he crossed paths with Mondo, who had been jogging..

"Howdy, Mondo!" Vardaman called.

"Hey," Mondo nodded back.

Vardaman jogged up beside Mondo.

"I feel like we don't get to talk much," Vardaman said. "What with bein' in opposite alliances and all."

"Guess there isn't much we can talk about. We have opposing goals," Mondo shrugged.

"I dunno. We're both tryin' to win, ain't we?" Vardaman said.

"But we stand in each other's way of getting that done," Mondo stated.

"Maybe but the merge has to be comin' up soon, and on the off chance that the Killer Boldface want to stick together and take out all of the Screamin' Italics, I feel like we should get to know each other at least a little in case we end up alignin'."

"Alright. My name is Marcus Shultz, but my football team calls me 'Mondo', and the nickname kind of stuck," Mondo said. "I am gay, but I don't want it to make any impact on my game. I want to win through my own strength, to prove that being gay doesn't mean I'm a wimp. How about you?"

"Well let's see... My name is Vardaman Foshee. I was named after someone from a book. Not sure Vardaman is a real name to be entirely honest," Vardaman chuckled. "I live in a pretty rural area, but my ambition is to become a doctor. It's just a good feelin', helpin' out folks in need when, let's be honest, there ain't much that can be done. Not many folks want to be a doctor where I'm from."

"Well, it seems like we both have admirable goals," Mondo smiled. "May the best man win."

"Likewise," Vardaman said with a nod.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I dunno how the dynamics on the Killer Boldface are. Maybe I'll ask Naomi next time she needs me to bandage her up. Either way, better safe than sorry. 'Sides, Mondo ain't such a bad guy I don't think.

 **Mondo:** I'm not sure what Vardaman's angle is, but he's definitely making the target on his back bigger. Offering an alliance with your rival behind the backs of your friends isn't the kind of thing I'd want to happen to me if I was aligned with him. I'm not sure he can be trusted.

* * *

Isidora sat on a rock reading a book when Ursula crept up behind her.

"I vant to suck your blood!" Ursula suddenly shouted.

"Jesus!" Isidora jumped. "What the hell, Ursula?"

"Have you forgotten? I swore to scare you, and now I've done it," Ursula chuckled.

"What do you have to gain from doing that?" Isidora scowled.

"It's funny?" Ursula chuckled.

Isidora went stony-faced.

"...One time, your parents put you down and never picked you back up again," Isidora said. "Someday, you'll move out of your parents' house and never return. You'll have to rely on yourself, but in order to do that, you'll need a job, and in order to get a job, you'll have to put aside your immaturity and act like a real adult."

"Stop," Ursula scowled.

"It'll come to a point where you'll forget how to act like a kid," Isidora continued. "You'll be too busy paying your own rent, and buying your own groceries, and listening to middle-of-the-road alt rock. The child inside of you will be dead, leaving only an empty shell of a grown adult longing for the days where she knew how to have fun."

"Alright, I'm sorry!" Ursula cried. "Just stop that shit!"

"Funny. I thought you liked it when people got scared," Isidora said. "You seemed fine in the fear challenge."

"Yeah, screw you," Ursula spat.

"You scared me first, and many others before," Isidora said as she went back to her book. "Not so fun when it happens to you, is it?"

Ursula yelled at the top of her lungs and stomped into the forest.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** First Naomi, then Isidora. Is it "Make Ursula Feel Bad Day"? I'm not allowed to be mad at Genesis for voting out my boyfriend, I'm not allowed to scare people to make myself feel better. What am I supposed to do?!

 **Isidora:** I don't really dislike Ursula per se, but I do think she's a hypocrite. How convenient that her biggest fear is growing up. She probably uses that card whenever she acts childishly. As an avid analyzer of books, I've come to realize that having a reason for your actions does not automatically make them okay. Everyone feels at least a little justified in the bad actions they make. Otherwise they wouldn't make bad actions. Ursula is no different.

* * *

Tori entered the girls' cabin after her workout to see Amelie already there.

"Hello, Amelie," Tori greeted.

"Oh. Hi, Tori," Amelie greeted back. "I was just relaxing."

"I can see that," Tori said bluntly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Amelie frowned.

"You're not an active person. That is a fact," Tori stated.

"I'm sorry," Amelie frowned.

"Honestly, how they were able to decide on one fear for you in the challenge the other day is beyond me," Tori said.

"The same way they chose all of our fears. The polygraph test before the game, remember?" Amelie asked.

"My point is that you are a weak individual," Tori said. "You seem to have come to grips with it. I hear you call yourself a coward all the time."

"Well...! Yeah, I am a coward. But I'm not proud of it," Amelie frowned. "I asked Ephraim for bravery lessons early on in the game, but we got sidetracked, and then he got voted out... but I like to think I'm doing a lot better than I did when the game started."

"I wouldn't know," Tori shrugged.

"Hey!" Amelie frowned. "I know I'm not as strong as you, physically or spiritually, and I know I'm not in your alliance, but I'm still a person."

Tori raised an eyebrow.

"I haven't done anything to you, so why are you being so rude to me?" Amelie asked.

Tori simply folded her arms and left the cabin. Amelie wore a confused look on her face.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I just... I just told someone off. Usually when people say stuff like that to me I agree with them... because it's usually true, but this time, I talked back, and I think somehow I won? This is so weird for me. I hope I didn't hurt Tori's feelings.

 **Tori:** Eh, she had a point. That was kind of rude. I'll own up to it. _(She shrugs.)_

* * *

Naomi made it to the very top of the thousand-foot cliff.

"Alright... let's do this," Naomi decided.

The roller girl began to skate down the cliff. As she began her descent, she crashed into Warwick, who had been making his way up the cliff. The two tumbled down the path and down by the forest.

"Naomi, you whelp!" Warwick shouted. "This cape was expensive! And now it's all dirty! You're lucky it didn't tear!"

"Well then why didn't you move out of the way when you saw me skating towards you?" Naomi asked.

"I assumed you were smart enough to move out of _my_ way, but I guess I've been giving you too much credit," Warwick grumbled. "Were you _trying_ to get hurt?"

"...Yes," Naomi responded.

Warwick gave Naomi a look and stood up, dusting himself off.

"I swear, when I'm king, I'm banning rollerskates from my country," Warwick muttered as he walked off.

"Aw," Naomi pouted. "Now, where's Vardaman?"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Frankly I'm getting sick and tired of Naomi and her recklessness. It's like she has no respect for my authority! Genesis wants to prove herself? Maybe voting for Naomi could be a start.

 **Naomi:** I hope, when Vardaman looks back on this season, he thinks this is cute and not creepy. Intentionally harming yourself so you can see your crush more often is cute, right? ...Well I think it'd be romantic if a guy did that for me.

* * *

Naomi skated up to Vardaman, who had just exited the restroom.

"Hey, Vardaman," Naomi greeted.

"Naomi, how do you manage to get yourself hurt every single day?" Vardaman asked. "No offense, but you really gotta get better with those skates."

"Can you just bandage me up?" Naomi pouted.

"Of course," Vardaman said with a slight smile. "It's my duty as the island's medic."

The two set off for the boys' cabin.

"Naomi, I know you only got these skates recently, but I don't think you'd hurt anyone's feelin's by takin' 'em off if you have to," Vardaman told Naomi.

"But I've wanted these all my life," Naomi insisted. "I want to get as much use out of them as I can."

"Is it worth all the spills you take though?" Vardaman asked.

"Yes," Naomi muttered. She then spoke at normal volume. "I mean, all these years I've wanted these... I just need practice, right?"

"How good is your balance, generally?" Vardaman asked.

"My balance is fine - I just have trouble stopping sometimes. I crash a lot," Naomi admitted.

"Well I'd recommend findin' more open spaces to practice skatin'," Vardaman said as the two entered the boys' cabin. Vardaman took his first aid kit off of his bed and grabbed a fistful of band-aids. "I realize that the camp doesn't have a ton of spots like that, but I'm gettin' worried about you, Naomi."

"You are?!" Naomi asked eagerly.

"Well yeah. I hate to see anyone get hurt so often," Vardaman answered as he began applying bandages to Naomi's scrapes.

Naomi's face fell for a moment before forcing a smile.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** For a second I thought he really cared about me, but I guess I'm not really special to him. Still, he cares about everyone! That's so sweet! Why does he have to be so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet?!

 **Vardaman:** Naomi's a touch clueless, but she's a real sweetie, kinda cute. I'd be lyin' if I said I didn't feel closer to her on account of all of her doctor's visits. Kinda wish she was on my team. I could use someone like her on my side, someone I can trust besides Tori.

* * *

Lindsay found Chris in his office in the staff building, drinking from a brown bottle.

"Hey, Chris," Lindsay greeted.

"Oh. What is it, Lindsay?" Chris asked.

"I just wanted to talk," Lindsay smiled. "We don't really socialize much."

"Uh, yeah, that's because I don't like you," Chris drawled as he took a sip from his bottle. "You know, what with the overly chipper attitude, intolerance for my love of violence, the whole shocking me thing." Chris pointed to his shock collar. "Do you know how hard it is to sleep in this thing? It's terrible for neck support and sometimes it goes off in the middle of the night because I slept on it wrong or something."

"I'm sorry," Lindsay frowned. "The shock collar wasn't my idea, honest."

"Yeah, I know, but it still sucks," Chris grumbled before taking another sip. He checked his watch. "Oh, hey, the challenge is starting pretty soon. We'd better go."

Chris finished the rest of his bottle and tossed it in a nearby bin before exiting his office. Lindsay followed behind him.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Lindsay:** Whoa. I've never seen anyone chug a root beer like that! Chris is so cool!

 **Chris:** Eh, this is a pretty low-maintenance challenge. I can get away with having a drink.

* * *

Chris and Lindsay stood before the twelve campers at the main campsite.

"Alright, campers, time for your next challenge," Chris announced. "And don't worry, this one's not nearly as hard as the last one. We don't want anyone else quitting on us, you hear?"

"Quitting is disgraceful," Tori spat. "I wouldn't be caught dead considering such a thing."

"Good for you," Chris said dismissively. "Anyway, the challenge is this: each team will pick someone from the other team to 'kidnap'. That person will be placed in a wooden cage on either end of the forest. You remember the challenge where you built a tower for the other team to try and destroy? You'll be in the same places as then. Your task as a team is to help your kidnapped teammate make it back to your team's base. Of course, you can also do whatever you want to try and stop the other team from winning."

"Except killing," Lindsay added.

"Fine, except killing," Chris droned. "Oh! Also. It's been a while, but this is a reward challenge as well."

"What's the reward?" Phoenix asked.

"Each member of the winning team will receive a letter from home," Chris smiled.

"Oh, cool," Amelie smiled.

"Sounds like a reward worth earning," Ursula added.

"First thing's first: as a team, decide who from the other team you want to kidnap," Chris said.

The teams huddled up to decide.

"We should take one of their bigger threats," Phoenix said. "Someone like Mondo, Tori, or Vardaman."

"I think Vardaman," Naomi offered.

"Yeah, Mondo and Tori strike me more as the strong, silent type," Isidora added. "Vardaman seems more like he's the team leader. Kidnapping him could help us win."

"But can our team stand up against Mondo and Tori?" Ursula asked. "Tori in particular is stronger than Vardaman."

"I think it'll be tough regardless of who we pick," Genesis texted. "But Vardaman does seem like a prudent choice."

"As king, I declare that we kidnap Vardaman!" Warwick decided.

"Sounds like it's settled," Phoenix nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** See what I did there? I agreed with Isidora, like any good man does to his woman, and then used my authority to make it so. We're going to make an excellent pair when we rule over... ugh, still need to think of a name.

 **Ursula:** Yeah, I concede that it'll be tough no matter who we pick. Doesn't mean I'm not going to try, though. I'm having a bad day today, and I don't want to risk getting voted out on top of it.

* * *

The Screaming Italics huddled up to decide who from the Killer Boldface to kidnap.

"Well, normally I'd say to pick their strongest member, but I don't think they have any strong members," Mondo said.

"Let's pick someone unpopular so they won't care as much about saving them," Jasper said cheekily.

"Hey now, let's be nice," Vardaman said.

"I think it's a valid strategy," Hugh shrugged. "Think about it. If they chose me, would you honestly care as much as if they chose, I dunno, Vardaman?"

"...He has a point," Tori conceded.

"But who would we choose?" Amelie asked. "It seems kind of mean to decide that someone is unpopular."

"Well, Warwick's an artard," Hugh suggested. "How about him?"

"Actually, he's the heaviest of their team, so he'd be the hardest for them to bring back to their side," Mondo agreed.

"Works for me," Jasper nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I'm afraid I won't be very helpful in this challenge. This is definitely a challenge that favors the strong. Hopefully they choose to kidnap me... Never thought I'd ever say that.

 **Jasper:** We decided to leave Mondo, Tori, and Vardaman to guard Warwick while the rest of us go to steal whoever they kidnap. Actually, since they are kidnapping one of us, then that plan could easily be thrown off... Eh, we'll figure something out.

* * *

"Alright, campers!" Chris announced. "Have you come to your conclusion on who to kidnap?"

"We choose Warwick," Tori stated.

"And we, Vardaman," Phoenix added.

"Alright. Vardaman, Warwick, swap places," Chris instructed.

"See y'all later," Vardaman said to his team with a tip of the hat.

"Their first mistake was to kidnap our most valuable teammate," Warwick whispered to his team. "Little do they know how hard you'll all work to save me."

The two young men walked over to the opposing team.

"Alright teams, head to your designated areas," Chris instructed. "When you hear the sound of an air horn, it means the challenge has started."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Not sure why they'd want to kidnap me, but this could be helpful, actually. The sooner I get to know the other team, the easier it'll be to work with them in the merge. Then again, other than Naomi, everyone on the other team seems kinda serious-like. Who knows if it'll work?

 **Warwick:** Little does anyone know that on my team is my fiancee, who would climb the highest mountain for me! Of course, if anyone knew that, they'd see us as threats, so I'm keeping it on the down-low.

* * *

Once the camera crew had confirmed to Chris that both teams had made it to their areas and that their hostages were securely in their cages, Chris set off the air horn.

Amelie, Hugh, and Jasper set out to rescue Vardaman.

"Alright, we're going to need a plan here," Hugh said.

"A plan?" Amelie asked.

"Yeah. Obviously we aren't going to carry Vardaman all the way back to our side of the forest, so we're going to have to break the cage," Hugh explained.

"It's a wooden cage, and believe me, I know a thing or two about wood," Jasper chuckled.

"Gross," Hugh grimaced.

"Well, wood burns, right?" Amelie asked. "Only, Vardaman will be in the cage, so that's a dumb idea. Sorry."

"We'll need a way to either break it open or cut it open," Hugh decided. "I, uh, left my knife at home, so anyone got any better ideas?"

"If it's a cage, we could just drag it across the ground, right?" Jasper offered. "We'll all be able to grip onto it pretty easily, and it's easier than carrying it."

"Wouldn't that hurt Vardaman, though?" Amelie asked.

"Doubt it," Jasper replied. "Besides, he's a doctor, right? He can fix himself up if he has to."

"Works for me," Hugh shrugged. "Better that one of us might get a bit beat up for the team to win than for all of us to feel the pain of defeat... or something like that, I don't know."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Hugh and Jasper don't seem to care much about the safety of our teammate. Granted, I don't think either of them are that close to Vardaman, but as someone who's, well, overly cautious, I wonder if they'd let me get hurt for a win.

 **Jasper:** Amelie needs to put more faith in Vardaman. He's a tough guy. He can handle the occasional bump or scrape.

* * *

Meanwhile, Phoenix and Ursula set out to go rescue Warwick.

"...Hey, Phoenix..." Ursula started.

"Yeah?" Phoenix asked.

"Do you think we're being obsessive in trying to get Genesis out?" Ursula asked.

"I choose to see it more as a valid strategy which just keeps getting delayed," Phoenix answered. "Who told you that we're being obsessive?"

"Naomi," Ursula answered. "She gave me this whole song and dance about how I'm being unreasonable. Not a literal song and dance of course. I've heard her sing in the shower. She's awful. But yeah, she went on about how I'm not enjoying myself in this game anymore, and honestly... she may be right."

"So you're not mad at Genesis anymore?" Phoenix asked.

"No, I'm still mad," Ursula insisted. "But I'm definitely not enjoying this game like I used to. I still think it's because Osric got voted out, because I'm only not enjoying it because Genesis is still here."

"But since you asked if I thought we were being obsessive, clearly Naomi's words rang true to you at least a little," Phoenix observed as he adjusted his glasses.

"...Ugh! Why does everyone have to be smarter than me?!" Ursula cried.

"I doubt Warwick's smarter than you," Phoenix chuckled.

"Yeah, that's like, one guy though," Ursula said.

"Well, I don't know how to help you," Phoenix shrugged. "It sounds to me like you're just looking for reasons to complain at this point."

Ursula scowled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** It's not fair! How come everyone seems to be smarter or more mature than I am? Yeah, I'm the youngest one left on our team, but still. I'm almost tempted to start hanging out with Warwick to feel better about myself. Almost.

 **Phoenix:** Ursula is a prime example of why I shouldn't let emotions affect my gameplay. Her anger towards Genesis is breaking her down. She's confused and emotional. Sure, I've had Genesis as a target for a long time, but only because I see her as a threat. I have nothing against her as a person. Ursula is letting this hatred overwhelm her, and that's not healthy.

* * *

Back at the Killer Boldface forest base, Genesis, Isidora, and Naomi guarded Vardaman's cage.

"I'm going to keep my phone in my pocket," Genesis texted. "I want to have both hands free in case the Italics show up unexpectedly."

"Fair enough," Isidora said. "Now that I think about it, all three of us girls have some sort of disadvantage."

"We do?" Naomi asked.

"Genesis can't speak, I'm anemic, and you have wheels on your feet," Isidora explained.

"That's by choice," Naomi said. "And besides, it's fun."

"It's fun gettin' hurt all the time?" Vardaman asked.

"Well, that part's slightly less fun, but I've wanted rollerskates all my life, so I can look past the pain because all those years of buildup are paying off!" Naomi explained.

"If you say so," Isidora shrugged.

"Either way, it's led to a lot of doctor's visits on the island," Vardaman chuckled. "I think I've spent more time with Naomi than with some of my teammates."

"Cute. I guess," Isidora shrugged.

"Why's that cute?" Naomi asked.

"I don't know. If I didn't know better, I'd say Naomi was wiping out on purpose to have an excuse to see Vardaman," Isidora explained. "Sounds like something out of a crappy romance novel. And I've read a few."

Genesis silently chuckled as Naomi and Vardaman both blushed.

"Eh, then again, Naomi's always been super clumsy, so what do I know?" Isidora shrugged.

"Y-Yeah. That's right," Naomi chuckled awkwardly.

"Naomi n' I are just friends," Vardaman insisted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** Oh. My. Gawd. How embarrassing! Vardaman probably thinks I'm insane right now! Isidora just ruined my life! My life from now until my deathbed when I'm eighty or something has officially been ruined!

 **Isidora:** I don't actually think Naomi is wiping out on purpose to see Vardaman, but they both blushed, so what do I know? Maybe they're destined for each other or something. Love isn't really my area of expertise.

* * *

Back at the Screaming Italics forest base, Mondo and Tori guarded over Warwick's cage.

"Oh yeah, sorry that we voted out your boyfriend last night," Mondo said to Tori. "We thought he had a statue, so we weren't actually trying to lose him, just the statue."

"I understand," Tori sighed. "It is upsetting to lose him so unexpectedly, but I joined this game to get stronger, so..."

"Wouldn't being in a couple make you a bigger threat?" Warwick asked. "So wouldn't having your boyfriend here make you stronger?"

Tori winced.

"I think it's upsetting her more than she'd care to admit," Mondo whispered to Warwick. "Don't press her about it."

"Whatever," Warwick shrugged. "What about you? Any girls catch your eye?"

"I'm gay," Mondo reiterated.

"...Oh, that's right!" Warwick remembered. "I always forget that about you for some reason."

"Gay or not, I don't want a relationship," Mondo said. "At least not in the game."

"Right, because it'd make you a threat!" Warwick realized.

"Well, that's part of it," Mondo decided.

"So, do either of you feel like you're above the other, since one of you got a boyfriend and the other didn't get one for gameplay reasons?" Warwick asked.

"What sort of question is that?" Tori asked.

"Your refusal to answer seems quite telling," Warwick snickered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Nyeheheh... My plans to turn these teammates against each other are going most swimmingly. Swimmingly, I say!

 **Mondo:** I mean, I do feel like it was a smart decision to not form a relationship in-game because it'd distract me from the game, plus I don't want to make a big deal about being gay, but if Tori wants a boyfriend, I won't stop her.

* * *

Genesis and Naomi stood in wait for the Screaming Italics, while Isidora sat against Vardaman's cage.

"I heard you eat a lot of food with iron, is that right?" Vardaman asked Isidora.

"I try, but the options here can be kind of limited," Isidora said. "Thankfully I haven't had to try very hard since that swimming challenge."

"I hear footsteps!" Naomi announced. "Be ready, Isidora!"

"Ugh..." Isidora groaned as she slowly stood up.

Amelie, Hugh, and Jasper ran onto the scene.

"Hey look, Leonardo DiCaprio!" Jasper called as he pointed behind the cage.

Genesis ran towards Hugh and tackled him to the ground.

"Ow! Watch it!" Hugh snapped. "Uh, I mean, is that the best you can do? I've been in worse fights than this."

Genesis rolled her eyes.

Naomi skated towards Jasper and began to chase him around the area.

"Amelie! Get Vardaman!" Jasper called.

"Um... um..." Amelie tentatively approached the cage when Isidora tagged her.

"You're out," Isidora droned.

"Oh... sorry..." Amelie frowned as she walked away.

"Amelie!" Jasper shouted. He facepalmed.

As this happened, a white man with a goatee who stood behind Vardaman's cage backed away awkwardly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Chris never said anything about tagging people... Oh, I get it now. Smart move, Isidora.

 **Hugh:** I only let Genesis pin me to give her a false sense of security, so I'll totally own her in future challenges.

 **Vardaman:** While all that was happenin', I tried to break some of the cage's bars so I could slip out. I don't think anyone saw.

 **Leonardo:** I was told by a Mr. McLean that this is where I could go to talk about a badminton movie deal I was interested in, but I think I'm lost.

* * *

Mondo and Tori continued to guard Warwick's cage.

"So. How have you managed to survive being eliminated?" Tori asked Warwick.

"Because they all respect my true authority," Warwick boasted. "For example, that clown Xingrong claimed to be an angel or whatever! But that's stupid, because he didn't have wings! Everyone saw right through him and voted him out, thus proving that I'm the true authority figure around here."

"Does that answer your question?" Mondo smirked at Tori.

"It's probably the best answer I'll get out of him," Tori decided.

Just then, Phoenix emerged from behind a tree.

"Are you serious?! They only sent one person to save me?!" Warwick asked.

"Well, in that case, it should be easy to protect Warwick," Mondo said as he and Tori approached Phoenix.

"Hey now, why can't we do this peacefully?" Phoenix asked.

"It's our job to keep you from saving Warwick," Tori stated. "What peaceful way is there to do that?"

"How about this?" Phoenix offered. "If destiny is real, and it's your destiny to perform a certain task in the future, and you fall ill, is there any point in seeing a doctor? After all, if you haven't yet fulfilled your destiny, then destiny dictates that you'll feel better so you can later fulfill it, so why spend money on a doctor if you'll feel better anyway?"

"...What?" Mondo asked.

"What if destiny forces you to visit the doctor so that you can feel better?" Tori asked.

"How would you know if destiny forces you to visit the doctor?" Phoenix asked.

"How would you know about your destiny to fulfill your task?" Tori asked in return.

"...Good point," Phoenix decided. "Well, you've stumped me, so I'll go back in the forest to think of another riddle."

Phoenix retired to the forest.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Tori:** Things like that are why I don't believe in destiny.

 **Ursula:** Phoenix and I got separated at some point during the challenge.

* * *

Chris watched the camera footage from the staff building. He had another brown bottle in hand.

"Looks like the challenge is about to end," Chris commented.

Lindsay entered the room.

"Hi, Chris~" Lindsay chirped.

"Oh, hey, just in time," Chris said as he kept a close eye on the live camera feeds. "One of the teams... yeah, they just won."

"By the way, where are you getting all of that soda?" Lindsay asked.

"What?" Chris asked.

"Can I have a sip at least?" Lindsay asked.

"No. Find your own," Chris pouted.

Lindsay set off Chris's shock collar.

"Alright, fine, but if the higher-ups get mad at me, I'll argue that this was on you," Chris relented as he handed Lindsay the bottle.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Lindsay:** That root beer... tasted... weird. _(She giggles.)_

 **Chris:** It was either I let her drink or she keeps on shocking me. Grand scheme, people.

* * *

Chris, Lindsay, and the twelve campers met back up at the campground.

"Alright, the challenge is over," Chris said. "And the winners are..."

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"The Killer Boldface!" Chris announced.

"Nice. How'd you swing that?" Naomi asked Ursula.

"Phoenix distracted Mondo and Tori while I snuck in from the back and broke Warwick's cage open," Ursula grinned.

"Now, the Killer Boldface win invincibility, but there's also the reward," Lindsay said. "And here's a twist!"

"What? I never approved of a-" Chris started.

"You can offer to not accept your letter so that a Screaming Italics member of your choice can read theirs!" Lindsay announced.

"I never-" Chris started.

"I'll give mine up," Phoenix decided. "As much as I like my family, I don't want to get sidetracked by emotions. I'll let... Vardaman have his letter."

"Yeah, I'll give mine up too," Warwick decided. "I dunno. The kid in the striped shirt can have his I guess."

"Oh. Thanks," Jasper smiled.

"I really appreciate it," Vardaman grinned.

"Alright, fine," Chris frowned. He fished some letters out of his pocket and handed them to Genesis, Isidora, Jasper, Naomi, Ursula, and Vardaman. "But Jasper and Vardaman still have to attend the voting ceremony tonight. Phoenix and Warwick keep their invincibility."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** I chose Vardaman because I feel like he'd make a valuable ally in the future, assuming we both make the merge. Given how close the merge probably is, though, I'd say it's worth it.

 **Warwick:** It made zero difference to me who on the other team got a letter, so I just picked the first person I saw when I looked at them. Just so happened to be Jasper. _(He shrugs.)_

* * *

Those who had received a letter had gathered at the campfire pit immediately after the challenge.

"So who's going first?" Ursula asked.

"Why not go alphabetically?" Naomi suggested. "To go with the theme of the season."

"So first here would be..." Isidora scanned over those present. "Genesis."

Genesis opened her letter and began to read it.

"Are you gonna read it to us?" Vardaman asked.

Genesis gave Vardaman a flat look as she held her phone up.

"Oh, right. Sorry about that," Vardaman apologized.

"You read it," Genesis texted as she handed her letter to Naomi. "I don't want to copy the whole thing into my phone."

"Oh, okay," Naomi agreed. She cleared her throat as she began to read. "'Genesis. I hope you're having a great time at Camp Wawanakwa. I know how much you've been looking forward to being able to get on this show, ever since the very first episode. I can't wait to watch the season when it's over. To think that you're going to be an inspiration to those with disabilities all over the country. Whether you win or lose, this is going to be an experience you're going to look back on for the rest of your life, and I know you're going to make the most of it. Have fun and stay strong. Love, Mom and Dad.' Awww."

"My parents have always been very supportive," Genesis texted with a big smile on her face. "They understand that it's hard to live the way I do. I miss them, but like they said, I'm going to make the most of this game.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** It's weird to think that even Genesis has a loving and supporting family. I guess I tend to look past the fact that she's disabled, too. I don't feel bad for her, but I am seeing her in a new perspective.

* * *

"Guess it's my turn," Isidora said as she opened her letter and began to read. "'To Izzy.' Yeah, my folks call me Izzy sometimes. 'If you can read this, then you must have made it far in the game, and we're very proud of you. We would be proud of you even if you didn't make it far, because to play this game with anemia is a brave decision. Things back home have been crazy. Vinnie found a girlfriend shortly after you left.' Vinnie's my little brother, by the way. 'Between you and me, I don't think they'll last. She's out of his league.' Well, it's not between you and me anymore. Heh. Anyway. 'We love you and can't wait to see you again. We're going to preorder the DVD set for your season as soon as it's available. Love, Dad, Mom, Vinnie, and Gazorpazorpfield.' Gazorpazorpfield is our cat."

"Sounds like you've got some nice folks," Vardaman smiled.

"Yeah, they're cool," Isidora said with a slight smile.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Sounds like Isidora and I have similar upbringings: a supportive family who's proud of their daughter for playing hard despite a disability. I don't have any siblings or pets, but still. Maybe I can use this to appeal to her emotional side so she can take me into her alliance.

* * *

"Alright, Jasper, you're up," Naomi smiled.

Jasper opened his letter and scanned over it. He winced a bit before folding his letter up.

"You know, this letter gets into some personal stuff," Jasper said. "I'd rather not share this kind of stuff."

"That's fair," Isidora said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** I was afraid something like this might happen. Good thing I can rely on the kindness of strangers and not have to read it. _(He smirks.)_

* * *

"My turn!" Naomi exclaimed as she tore her letter open. She cleared her throat obnoxiously before reading. "'Yo, Naomi. I hope you're having a cool time on Total Drama. I never got my audition accepted, and now I'm too old, but I'm glad someone in the family got in.' Oh, it's from my big brother! 'Mom and Dad are still on that business trip, so it's just me at home right now, since Zoe's not allowed over while I'm home alone.' Zoe is my brother's girlfriend. 'I've ordered, like, twelve pizzas. That's probably too many pizzas. I don't care. I've been rewatching older seasons of TD to prepare for when your season comes out. Yours will probably be the best, though. Well, anyway, have fun. And if you meet any boys, I'll be sure to have a good talk with him. It's my duty as a big brother. See you whenever. Daniel.'"

"Yeah, he's definitely your brother," Ursula chuckled.

"He's part of the reason why I wanted roller skates, actually," Naomi admitted. "He's been a skateboarder for as long as I can remember. I thought it was cool, but it also looked dangerous to fall off, so I wanted to skate on something I couldn't fall off of."

"Doesn't stop her from falling anyway," Isidora remarked, to which Genesis and Jasper chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Daniel seems like a nice guy. Not the kind of guy I'd be afraid to face if I ever dated Naomi. ...What am I saying? She n' I are just friends!

* * *

Ursula opened her letter and began to read.

"Alright," Ursula started. "'Ursula. I'm sure you're having a fun time on that TV show you're on. I hope you win. Have fun. Regards, Uncle Kai.' Yeah, that's Uncle Kai for you."

"Nothing from your parents?" Naomi asked. "Any siblings?"

"Can we not talk about it?" Ursula asked.

"We didn't press Jasper, and we won't press you," Genesis texted.

Ursula glanced at Genesis.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** Uncle Kai seems like the kind of person I can get along with. Blunt, to-the-point, no fluff, no small talk.

 **Ursula:** In hindsight, I probably should have given up my letter like Phoenix and Warwick. Not sure what else I expected.

* * *

"Looks like I'm up," Vardaman said as he opened up his letter. "'Howdy, Vardaman. We ain't surprised you made it far enough to earn a letter from home. You were always a good, hardworkin' gentleman. The guys at the shop say that work's goin' slower since you ain't there.' I work at a metal shop back home. 'We know medical school is expensive, so winnin' could change your life, but even if you don't win, what's important is that you worked hard to get to where you make it. Who knows, maybe with the leftover money, you could fix the shed. Heheh. Anyway, we miss you n' can't wait to see you again. Have fun n' work hard. Love, Pa, Ma, Cassius, and Jewel.' Cassius n' Jewel are my older siblings. I'm the runt of the litter. Heheh."

"Have you worked hard to earn your spot here?" Ursula asked.

"I like to think so," Vardaman said as he rubbed the back of his head.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** It was so nice hearing from everyone's families. Well, not Jasper's, but he has his reasons. What a nice way to end a challenge.

* * *

The six members of the Screaming Italics met up at the bonfire pit. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"Well hey there, Italics," Chris grinned. "Seems like only yesterday that we last met up like this."

"Boooo," Hugh interjected. Chris retaliated by tossing a marshmallow at Hugh's eye. "Ow!"

"Yes, Hugh is safe," Chris said. "Also safe are..."

"Tori."

"Jasper."

"Amelie."

Mondo and Vardaman glanced at each other nervously.

"The final marshmallow goes to..." Chris started.

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"Vardaman," Chris finally said.

Vardaman breathed a sigh of relief as he caught his marshmallow.

"Ugh..." Mondo grumbled as he stood up. "Fine. Let's get this overwith."

"If anyone wants to see Mondo off, you can follow us to the Dock of Shame," Chris said. Everyone else can head to bed."

* * *

Mondo, Amelie, and Chris all came to the Dock of Shame.

"I knew it was a mistake to trust Jasper..." Mondo told Amelie. "This is twice now he's voted out one of your allies. Watch out for him."

"I'm so sorry," Amelie wept as she hugged Mondo. "I never meant for this to happen."

"It's partially on me too," Mondo sighed. "Ugh, I expected to make the merge at least... This blows."

"Imagine how everyone who went home before you felt," Chris remarked as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors.

"All I can say is 'good luck'," Mondo said to Amelie. "You're going to need it."

Amelie gulped.

"Mr. McLean?" Leonardo asked as he walked onto the Dock.

"Oh. Hey. You're finally here," Chris remarked. "I'm in the middle of something, so can you just... yeah. We'll talk later."

"Oh, okay," Leonardo said as he left the Dock.

"Was that...?" Mondo asked.

"Amelie, you can head to bed now. Any last words, Mondo?" Chris asked.

Mondo seemed dumbstruck.

"I'll take that as a 'no,'" Chris decided.

"Well... take care, Marcus," Amelie said with a small wave as she left the Dock.

"S-See you," Mondo waved back as he came back to his senses.

As Amelie left the Dock, Mondo entered the Elevator of Losers.

"Mondo, you have finished the game in 12th place," Chris said.

"I guess it could be a lot worse, my placement," Mondo decided. "Hopefully I proved what I came to prove."

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater. Chris turned to the camera. "After a bunch of presumably heartwarming letters from home, Mondo leaves this game with nothing."

"Hey, that's mean," Lindsay pouted as she arrived on-scene.

"And that surprises you?" Chris asked condescendingly. "Will Amelie out Jasper as a backstabber? Is the loss of Quentin affecting Tori more than she'll admit? Is Vardaman as safe as he thought?"

"Will Isidora and Warwick let Genesis on their side?" Lindsay asked. "Is Ursula letting everything get to her head? Will Naomi ever get together with Vardaman?"

"I can hardly wait to find out myself," Chris beamed. "...Except for the Naomi/Vardaman thing."

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Mondo:** Vardaman is a giant threat, and it's about time he goes home before people start to forget that.

 **Tori:** Now that Mondo lacks a statue, we can finally get rid of him, just in time so that he isn't a problem in the merge.

 **Vardaman:** Sorry, Mondo, but this is just how the game is. For what it's worth, you seemed decent.

 **Amelie:** I guess we're voting for Vardaman. Okay then. Better just go with the majority to be safe.

 **Hugh:** Last time we voted Jasper's way, so we decided this time to vote my way, and I want that artard Mondo gone.

 **Jasper:** I still insist that Amelie could be a cockroach worth taking out, so even if no one else is, I'm voting for Amelie. Honestly, as long as it isn't me, I don't care who goes home.

* * *

 _A/N: Mondo was an interesting case. Originally he was going to have more of a protagonistic role and make it a lot farther into the game, but as I began writing for him, I felt that being grey-moraled and a late premerge boot both suited him much better as far as character and plot went. As far as audience reception, I've had people tell me they loved Mondo, and I've had people tell me they hated Mondo, and I can understand both reactions. As for me, he wasn't really my favorite character to write for, but, no matter how you felt, he is gone._


	15. Ep 14: I'm On The Fence About It

_A/N: So I decided to finish off the premerge for Alpha Party before getting back to writing Explore Party. I feel it'll be for the best in the long run for both stories, so apologies to those waiting for more EP, but right now AP is my main focus, at least for now._

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, our campers played a modified version of Capture the Flag, in which the flag was actually members of their own team trapped in a wooden cage," Chris recapped.

"It was up to the campers to try to save Vardaman or Warwick and to try to stop the other team from saving their guy," Lindsay added.

"Yeah, that's usually how Capture the Flag works," Chris said flatly.

Lindsay pouted.

"Anyway, with Fauna having recently quit, Genesis scrambled to get new allies," Chris continued. "She tried her luck with Isidora and Warwick, but they gave her a hard 'maybe'. Meanwhile, Ursula's started to lash out more with her arch nemesis Genesis still being in the game, and while Naomi's tried to patch things up with Genesis and Ursula, Phoenix has sat comfortably on the sidelines of all the drama."

"And on the other team, Jasper joined up with Amelie and Mondo, making it a three-three split since Hugh, Tori, and Vardaman are in the other alliance," Lindsay said. "Of course, Hugh and Jasper still have their secret deal going on, meaning everything isn't quite as it seems."

"And this was effectively proven as the Screaming Italics lost that night," Chris chuckled. "Mondo's alliance pushed to get rid of Vardaman while Vardaman's alliance pushed to get rid of Mondo. In the end, Hugh and Jasper agreed to stick with Tori and Vardaman for the time being, making the football player the latest casualty in this game of Total Drama."

"So many big strategists are going home," Lindsay noted. "I guess Heather was wrong. Strategy isn't everything."

"Is Amelie screwed with no more trustworthy allies?" Chris asked. "Will Hugh and Jasper continue to be able to keep their alliance on the down-low? Do Tori and Vardaman hold all the power on their team?"

"Will Isidora and Warwick make a decision on Genesis?" Lindsay asked. "Will Naomi get Ursula to come to her senses? Will Phoenix do anything interesting?"

"Find out, right here, on Total!" Chris started.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

Vardaman sat down at a table in the mess hall with a plate of breakfast when Amelie entered the room and sat across from him.

"Mornin' Amelie," Vardaman smiled.

"We... we, uh..." Amelie stammered.

Vardaman gave Amelie a slight supportive smile.

"Can I join your alliance?!" Amelie finally asked, loudly.

"Uh... Wow, didn't expect that," Vardaman admitted.

"I know I can't trust Jasper because this is the second time he's voted for one of our allies," Amelie admitted. "And I want to vote him out. So, uh... can I join your alliance?"

"Amelie, you realize that if you join my alliance, then Jasper'd be the only one on this team not in that alliance, right?" Vardaman asked.

"Is that bad?" Amelie asked.

"Well, it just don't feel right to me," Vardaman said.

"It doesn't have to be an alliance," Amelie said desperately. "I just want to vote out Jasper."

"Well, I'd be lyin' if I said that idea didn't appeal to me," Vardaman admitted. "I'd have to talk it over with Hugh n' Tori, but let it be known that it's an idea I'd be good with."

"Oh thank you thank you thank you," Amelie said, flustered.

"No problem," Vardaman smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I thought I could trust Jasper, since he seemed like a nice friend, but after voting out Ephraim and then Mondo... he doesn't even seem like he feels bad for stabbing me in the back like that. I think the merge might be coming up soon, so if Vardaman won't let me into his alliance, I guess that's not the worst thing ever, even though it might be hard getting people from the other team to let me into an alliance... It's not like I ever expected to win anyway, but I do want to make it far, for Stormy~, for Ephraim, and for Mondo.

 **Vardaman:** I think the reason I don't feel right 'bout lettin' Amelie into our alliance is because, honestly, if I did, she'd be at the bottom, and I don't wanna lead her on, so to speak. I'm good friends with Tori, and Hugh n' I have our own alliance on the side, but Amelie... I don't know her that well. I don't want her to count on me in ways I don't think I can help her with.

* * *

Warwick led Isidora up to the top of the thousand-foot cliff.

"What did you want to talk about?" Isidora asked.

"Do you recall how Genesis begged for us to let her into an alliance with us and we said we'd think of something she could do to prove herself?" Warwick smirked.

"Considering that happened yesterday, I'd say it isn't likely to leave my memory anytime soon. Why?" Isidora asked flatly.

"I thought of something she can do!" Warwick announced.

"Can we not shout right now?" Isidora asked groggily. "I only woke up like half an hour ago. In fact, can we not talk strategy right now, either? Ugh, just walking up here has left me exhausted."

"Oh, no," Warwick frowned. "I should have thought about your anemia before bringing you up here. Sorry about that."

"Eh, I could use _some_ exercise. I consider the daily walks up here to be that exercise," Isidora said nonchalantly.

"Do you find it hard walking for a long time?" Warwick asked.

"I'm easily exhausted," Isidora answered. "And if it's not that, I tend to get dizzy spells or headaches if I exert myself too much. You remember how badly I did in that swimming challenge."

"Yeah, you passed out," Warwick pointed out.

"That whole day was kind of a blur in all honesty," Isidora admitted. "It took me way longer than it should have for me to realize that Stormy~ had gone home."

"Eh, what did she add, anyway?" Warwick asked.

"True. I'm not a fan of loud, in-your-face type of people," Isidora admitted.

"That actually ties into my idea!" Warwick said loudly.

"Alright, fine. What is it?" Isidora asked.

"What if we make Genesis vote out Naomi?" Warwick asked. "Not only can we get rid of someone neither of us like, but Naomi is Genesis's only ally right now. If she ditches Naomi, it'll prove that she's loyal to us!"

"...Warwick, that is the smartest thing I've ever heard you say," Isidora said, slightly impressed.

"I know, right?" Warwick said boastfully.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Naomi's the biggest whelp of all, and I'd love to see her go. If Genesis is serious about being in an alliance with these star-crossed lovers, then getting rid of Naomi is clearly her best bet!

 **Isidora:** I'm honestly kind of embarrassed that I didn't think of that idea before Warwick did. I guess a broken clock is still right twice a day, though twice a day may be generous in Warwick's case.

* * *

Hugh and Jasper both hung out in the boys' cabin.

"So, Mondo's finally gone," Hugh smirked. "So now what?

"I still think Amelie needs to go," Jasper said.

"Oh yeah, that," Hugh said disdainfully. "Why are we doing that again?"

"So the challenge threats will be the bigger targets when we merge," Jasper explained.

"Either that or they'll just win all the challenges and wipe everyone else out one by one," Hugh scowled.

"If one of them wins, we'll vote out another," Jasper explained.

"And when there's only one left?" Hugh asked.

"I'm sure we'll have enough allies by then to hold the majority anyway," Jasper said.

"This sounds stupid risky," Hugh said. "Besides, Amelie might still trust you. I mean, she'd be totally stupid to, but it's still a possibility. Where else does she have to turn? She barely knows anyone else here, and she tends to stick to the familiar."

"Nah, she gave me a look this morning that told me that she's done with me," Jasper frowned. "But with that in mind, she's on the outs, so if we lose tonight, we can still vote her out."

"Assuming we don't merge," Hugh said.

"Ew. Merging with an odd number of contestants is so tacky," Jasper gagged.

"Well we're at the final eleven out of twenty-six," Hugh shrugged. "If we don't merge soon, I'm wondering if we ever will."

"They might bring some people back when we merge," Jasper said. "That tends to happen."

"In such a big cast?" Hugh asked. "They can only have so many episodes a season."

"I don't know. All I know is, I feel safer going into the merge with Tori and Vardaman to take all the votes than with only one of them," Jasper reiterated.

"Ugh, alright, fine," Hugh conceded.

"Why are you so against keeping the threats?" Jasper asked. "Unless..." Jasper wore a cheeky smile. "You like Amelie, don't you, Hugh?"

"I do not!" Hugh denied as his face began to flush.

Jasper just chuckled to himself.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Yeah, I think Amelie's cute, and I do need girls to impress with my bad boy wiles, and like I said, she's one of my only options right now. Besides, letting too many challenge threats into the merge is a dumb idea. House Party had a number of challenge threats, and one of them ended up winning, so...

 **Jasper:** One more reason that Amelie should go which, admittedly, I forgot to tell Hugh: if she makes the merge, she could tell the Killer Boldface that I'm untrustworthy, and I don't want that. Yeah, she's cute I guess, but like how Mondo didn't want me distracting him, I'd rather not have a cute girl distract me, lest my secret get out that I'm not really gay.

* * *

Naomi found Phoenix fixing breakfast in the kitchen.

"Heeeeeeeey Phoenix," Naomi greeted.

"Oh, good morning, Naomi," Phoenix nodded.

"...You know, I feel like we never really talk," Naomi noted. "Kind of weird since we're on the same team, huh?"

"Well, we don't seem to have much in common, but then, appearances can only say so much," Phoenix said as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Is there anything in particular you want to talk about?"

"Good question... um... So, where do you think the losers go after they're eliminated?" Naomi asked. "They go down an elevator, but then what? Where does the elevator go? What do they do to pass the time? Are they all dead?! Oh my god they're all dead! We killed them Phoenix!"

"I highly doubt that," Phoenix droned. "You've seen this show before. There's probably a cushy resort or talk show studio down there or something.

"But then why put it underground?" Naomi asked. "Why not just have a boat take them to an above-ground resort or studio instead? That seems way easier."

"Well, the way I see it, it's very likely that at least one of us will find out eventually," Phoenix said matter-of-factly. "The numbers may be dwindling, but that only means there are fewer options for everyone to take when it comes to the vote. Thus, the target is more likely to fall on us as more and more people lose."

"...Oh," Naomi said. "Well, I'd rather not go home anytime soon, and I'm sure you feel the same, so, uh, let's hope neither of us find out until after the game is over!"

"Is that an alliance offer?" Phoenix asked with raised eyebrows.

"You really do get off to strategy, don't you?" Naomi chuckled.

"Okay, rude," Phoenix frowned.

"That's just what Genesis and Ursula both told me," Naomi shrugged innocently. "I'm not one to kinkshame."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** I would just like to remind the viewing audience, for the record, that I do have interests besides strategy, and that I'm just trying to focus on playing a logical game because I want to win. I didn't become friends with Mac of all people by accident. We both happen to like zombie apocalypse stories.

 **Naomi:** Okay, yeah, I'm starting to realize why Phoenix and I don't talk all that often. We really don't have anything in common.

* * *

Vardaman found Tori in the forest, doing chin-ups on a tree branch.

"Mornin', Tori," Vardaman greeted.

"Good morning indeed," Tori smirked as she dropped down to the ground. "It's good to be back in the majority, I must say."

"Agreed," Vardaman nodded. "Speakin' of which, actually, Amelie approached me earlier this mornin' askin' about a spot in our alliance."

"And what did you say?" Tori asked warily.

"I told her I'd talk about with you n' Hugh," Vardaman answered. "I'm honestly not really sure if lettin' her in is the best idea, but I'd like a second n' third opinion from the rest of the alliance."

"All she'll add to us is her vote," Tori stated bluntly. "I don't see myself growing close with her on account of her shyness, and she's not going to win any challenges anytime soon. She may be too scared to turn on us, but then she may also be coerced into turning on us as well. She may be helpful in the merge, but there may be better allies waiting for us on the Boldface."

"So what you're sayin' is that you could go either way, basically?" Vardaman asked.

"I'm saying that we should wait until the merge before deciding what to do with her," Tori said. "It may be prudent to say 'yes' to her anyway, because then she'll stay loyal to us, but we don't have to stay loyal to her."

"That's dishonest," Vardaman frowned.

"You have to be dishonest in this game sometimes," Tori shrugged.

"I don't think we have to be dishonest here, though," Vardaman winced. "Sorry, but I ain't the lyin' type. Try to avoid it whenever possible."

"I can't fault you for that, but if the need does arrive to be dishonest, then be prepared to make a decision you won't want to make," Tori said.

Vardaman looked to be thinking hard about this.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** _(He is chewing on a tongue depressor.)_ Tori's right. In this game, you're probably gonna have to be dishonest at some points if you want to win. I'd like to say I hope I'll never have to lie in this game, but I know that ain't likely. ...Would not tellin' folks about my secret alliance with Hugh be a lie? Aw, shucks, this is hard.

 **Tori:** Vardaman's clearly lived a very different life from mine. It's a dog-eat-dog world, and sometimes, honesty isn't the best policy.

* * *

Genesis found Ursula lying on her bed in the girls' cabin reading a horror comic book. The mute girl approached the Halloween fan with a plate of pie in hand.

"What do you want?" Ursula scowled.

"I'm here with a peace offering," Genesis texted. "I heard you like sweet food, so I made a cherry pie. The rest of it is in the kitchen, assuming no one else has gotten to it."

Ursula eyed the piece of pie warily.

"I didn't poison it," Genesis texted with a flat look on her face.

"So, what, now that you're losing, you think all of a sudden you can buy my friendship back?" Ursula frowned.

"That's not the case at all," Genesis texted. "I'm just tired of this feud. It's adding a lot of unneeded stress to the both of us, and besides, from a narrative standpoint, it's not dissimilar to Erica's and Rachel's feud from House Party, and I'd rather the fans had something new to watch."

"Well... even if we do make up, it won't change anything," Ursula said. "You're still Phoenix's target, and we've got the numbers to take you out. I'd rather not go rocking the boat at this point."

"...Be that as it may, if I do lose, I'd rather lose with dignity," Genesis texted as she set the pie down next to Ursula's bed. "If you decide to put all of this behind you, I can arrange a strategy talk with you and Naomi. We can turn the game around yet."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Ursula asked.

"Better than spending the game being bitter at someone for making a game move," Genesis texted before she exited the cabin.

As soon as Genesis left, Ursula eyed the pie. She picked up the plate, grabbed the fork and took a small bite of the pie. She sighed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ To be frank, I don't want Ursula to be my friend or even my ally. Given how she's been in the past, I cannot consider her to be trustworthy. However, if this peace offering offers even the smallest chance of her letting up on me, then I'll consider that a win in my book. The merge must be soon, so I'd rather not have two people gunning for me, assuming Phoenix and Ursula both make it.

 **Ursula:** Dammit. I want to be mad at Genesis, but she makes a good pie. A good point! That's what I meant. You know, if she and I both make the merge, she'll probably try just as hard to get me out as I have been with her, so, if only for my own safety, I may have to calm down. I'm still pissed at her for voting out Osric, but I'll try not to let it be too much of a thing.

* * *

Jasper found Amelie sitting alone on the Dock of Shame.

"Hey, Amelie~" Jasper greeted.

"What do you want?" Amelie frowned.

"Ooh! I just wanted to see how my best friend is doing," Jasper said defensively.

Amelie scoffed in offense. "I'm not stupid, Jasper. I know you voted for Mondo last night."

"Why, didn't you hear that he was only using you?" Jasper asked innocently. "I did you a favor."

"I thought I could trust you, Jasper," Amelie frowned. "But then you voted out Ephraim, and then Mondo... I didn't want to believe it when people said you were untrustworthy, because you were always really nice to me, but I guess I was just being played for a fool... Well, I won't anymore!"

Jasper simply laughed in response. "Why, Amelie. This is a side of you I've never seen before. You're a feisty little thing, aren't you?"

"Sorry..." Amelie squeaked. "But you did really hurt my feelings. And I just can't trust you anymore. Please leave me alone."

Jasper chuckled darkly before walking away.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** I wanted to try and lure Amelie into a false sense of security before voting her out, but she just wasn't having it. I never knew Amelie could be so assertive. I guess what they say is true, about how hell hath no fury. Even more of a reason to take her out. _(He chuckles.)_

 **Amelie:** I feel really alone on this team right now... I can't trust Jasper, Hugh's a jerk, and Tori and Vardaman won't tell me if I can be in their alliance or not... _(She sighs.)_

* * *

Naomi approached Warwick at the main campground.

"Heeeeeey Warwick," Naomi greeted.

"Urgh. What do you want?" Warwick grumbled.

"So you know how you keep saying that, if you win, you'll use the prize money to buy land for a new country or whatever?" Naomi asked.

"What's it to you?" Warwick asked.

"Well, I was thinking, and I'm not sure a million dollars is enough money to buy land for a country," Naomi said. "Especially if you want to start your own economy."

"Well I didn't ask you," Warwick spat.

"But I'm here to help!" Naomi declared. "I've decided that you should get sponsored."

"...What?" Warwick asked.

"You know, name-drop a company here or there and you get free money out of it," Naomi explained. "I know that, after a long, hard day of skating around on my Shock Doctor brand roller skates, there's nothing more that I like to do than to kick back on my Sleep Train mattress with a bag of Doritos chips and a can of Coca Cola."

"Har! Please!" Warwick laughed. "You can't just name-drop stuff and get money out of it. The company has to consent to it. Besides, I'm not going to whore myself out for money like that. I don't need to. How do you think I was able to afford a gold crown, a cape with gemstone brooch, and a scepter?"

"I always thought they were just plastic," Naomi admitted.

"No, they are very much real," Warwick frowned. "I'd ask you to feel so I can prove it, but I don't want your fingerprints smudging it up. Now begone! This conversation was a waste of my time!"

"Fine! I'll just go eat a Snickers bar from Ursula's candy stash while I listen to the new Taylor Swift CD on my Apple iPod MP3 player!" Naomi cried as she skated off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** A king should know a thing or two about economics. The fact that I was raised in a pretty well-off family certainly doesn't hurt. Money is what makes the world go round, so, if I'm going to rule a country, I should know a thing or two about money.

 **Naomi:** ...Please send money.

* * *

Hugh swam by himself out on the beach.

"You know, it's been too long since my last good swim," Hugh told himself as he exited the water.

Just then, Tori ran past him, nearly running into him.

"Hey, watch it!" Hugh barked.

Tori stopped and looked around until she saw Hugh.

"Apologies. I didn't see you there," Tori said.

"How do you miss an entire person?" Hugh asked.

"Well, you're much smaller than I am, for one thing," Tori stated.

"Whatever," Hugh scoffed.

"I've actually always wondered about that," Tori said. "You claim to be tough and badass, but you're thin as a post and not very tall besides."

"Yeah... well... screw you!" Hugh retorted.

"Interesting," Tori thought aloud. "No attempts to prove me wrong, no form of evidence to prove yourself, just an interjection of derision."

"I don't need you patronizing me!" Hugh snapped. "Besides, we're in an alliance, remember? We shouldn't be at each other's throats. Stable alliances are important."

"Is that why you've been in at least three alliances since this game started?" Tori asked.

"And look what happened to everyone in those alliances," Hugh sneered. "All of them but Amelie and Jasper have been eliminated, and it's not looking like they're going to be here much longer. So keep in mind that I'm not to be messed with, especially with the merge approaching. Artard."

With that, Hugh grabbed his beach towel and walked off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Tori's a condescending artard. She thinks that just because she's bigger and stronger than everyone else, it means she can look down on us. You know, with my secret duo alliances with both Jasper and Vardaman, I could easily turn the vote against her if I really wanted.

 **Tori:** Hugh really isn't very smart, is he? He just admitted to me that he's backstabbed everyone he's ever aligned with. In light of this, and with the merge approaching soon, I see no reason to keep him around if we lose. Best get to him before he gets to me or Vardaman.

* * *

Ursula led Phoenix to the forest.

"What's this about?" Phoenix asked.

"Genesis," Ursula answered. "I've been thinking. If we keep trying to get Genesis eliminated, she'll probably push just as hard to get us out if we all merge. I'm thinking we should call off this whole thing, at least for now. Form a truce with her."

"I don't suppose this has anything to do with the pie she baked for you?" Phoenix asked knowingly.

"Wai- wha-? How did you know?" Ursula asked.

"I saw her bake it and take a slice to the girls' cabin," Phoenix answered. "At the same time, I saw Naomi skating around outside, which narrowed down the number of people that pie could be for significantly. She went to the girls' cabin, and the only girl on this team besides her and Naomi is you. I figured she tried baking you a pie as sort of a peace offering because she knows she's in danger, knows that you like sweet foods, and knows that you're an emotional person."

"Um, rude!" Ursula scowled.

"My point is that Genesis is playing you like a fiddle," Phoenix said. "And this is exactly why she needs to go. She's a giant threat. Never forget that."

"But... but... UGH!" Ursula shouted. "First you tell me that I'm obsessed with getting rid of Genesis, and now you're telling me to _not_ want to get rid of her?! Make up your mind!"

"There's a difference between obsessing over something, and setting a goal which you continuously work hard to attain," Phoenix stated as he adjusted his glasses. "You got incredibly angry at Genesis and wanted nothing more than lose because of one move she made. I, meanwhile, have done everything in my power to try and eliminate Genesis because I noticed her potential as a threat long before she started making big moves."

"Oh, well aren't you so much better than I am?" Ursula asked sardonically.

"I'm just explaining my point of view here," Phoenix said calmly. "You accused me of having a double standard, so I'm explaining why your accusation was inaccurate."

"Oh go jump in a bucket of slime," Ursula said dismissively as she walked off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** She drags me into the forest, she says she wants to talk strategy, and then she gets huffy and leaves when I don't feel like going with her strategy. If not for our common enemy, I'd be very tempted to vote her out.

 **Ursula:** Phoenix acts so high and mighty because he's somehow able to stop feeling emotions. I'm getting sick of him! ...You know, Genesis _did_ offer a potential strategy meeting if I want. Maybe I'll cash that in and see if we can't vote out Phoenix. Maybe.

* * *

Isidora found Genesis eating a piece of pie in the mess hall.

"Genesis. A word?" Isidora asked.

"Sure," Genesis texted. "Want some pie? I made it earlier today."

"I'll pass," Isidora said. "Anyway, you wanted to know what to do for Warwick and me to trust you, yes?"

"That's right," Genesis texted with a nod.

"Well, Warwick and I talked it over," Isidora said as she looked around the premises to check if anyone else was there and listening. "And we decided that the best way for you to earn our trust is to help us with blindsiding Naomi."

"What?!" Genesis texted with a disapproving look on her face.

"Would you mind lowering the volume on your phone?" Isidora whispered. "I don't want to bring attention to this."

Genesis reluctantly turned her phone's volume down and continued texting. "Why do you want Naomi gone? She's harmless to you and a potential ally for me to bring in if you let me on your side."

"She annoys both Warwick and me a great deal," Isidora said. "Besides, she's been your closest friend in this game for a long time. Getting rid of her would prove how much you're willing to work with us."

"This is unreasonable," Genesis texted.

"You're in the minority right now," Isidora said. "I don't think you get to decide what's unreasonable and what isn't. Those are my terms. Phoenix and Ursula will probably vote for you, and Naomi obviously won't vote for you or for herself, so it'll be a 3-2-1 split."

"And what's stopping me from voting alongside Naomi and forcing a three-way tie?" Genesis texted. "One which, I should add, could lead to you going home the same way Yolonda did."

"And then what?" Isidora asked. "You'll still be in the minority, and you'll have even less of a chance of getting out of it. And don't think it'll be easy to make allies in the merge, either. Phoenix and Ursula will surely tell the Italics how sneaky and untrustworthy you are. I doubt anyone will work with you if they hear about how you backstabbed Osric."

"And backstabbing Naomi is supposed to help with that?" Genesis texted with a raised eyebrow.

"It's not like it'll put you in any deeper trouble," Isidora said. "But it can keep things from being hopeless."

"So I should just trade one ally whom I trust for two whom I barely know?" Genesis texted. "Sorry, but I think I'll take my chances in the merge. Phoenix and Ursula can say whatever they want about me, but it's votes that speak the loudest of all."

"Your loss," Isidora shrugged. "But when this becomes the game-ruining mistake that you look back on for years, kicking yourself for making it, don't you dare say that you never had a choice in the matter, because you did."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I won't deny, I could use Genesis in the merge, since I doubt it'll be easy for the introverted bookworm and the annoying man-child to make any more allies. I still think Genesis is making a mistake by not considering this.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I may stab backs here and there, but I only do so when it's convenient for me to do so. Getting rid of Naomi because Isidora and Warwick _might_ let me join them if I do does not sound very convenient.

* * *

Vardaman tended to Naomi's latest scrapes.

"So, any luck with Genesis and Ursula?" Vardaman asked.

"Not since the last time I tried," Naomi admitted. "I'm afraid it's going to get to a point where I'll have to choose between them and I'm not sure I'm ready to make that choice."

"Sounds tough," Vardaman nodded. "Things're fine for the most part on my team. Amelie asked to join my alliance, but I ain't really sure I want her to join. I can't really bring myself to give her a straight 'no', 'cause she's a nice enough gal, but I don't want to be dishonest either n' tell her that she can join, only to vote her off later on."

"Sounds like both of us have a dilemma on our hands," Naomi said. "Hey, speaking of alliances, what if we made an alliance? Maybe we could get Tori, Genesis, and/or Ursula in on it too."

"Numbers are real important in the merge..." Vardaman thought aloud. "N' I do trust you for sure. I'm just worried it'd break Amelie's heart if I turned down her alliance offer n' then let someone from the other team in."

"I get that," Naomi said with a small smile. "Is she your target right now?"

"I reckon it's a tentative Jasper vote at the moment," Vardaman answered. "Don't let his friendly demeanor fool you; he's slimier than her lets on."

"Gotcha," Naomi nodded. "You know, I'm glad we're getting to know each other."

"I am too," Vardaman grinned. "You're a swell gal, Naomi. Who says you have to be on the same team to be friends, right?"

"Right!" Naomi responded loudly.

"If you ever want to talk without it bein' a doctor's visit, well don't be a stranger, you hear?" Vardaman said as he applied the last bandage, stood up, and tipped his hat. "Now I think the challenge might be soon, so best get into the mindset for that."

"Got it. Can do," Naomi saluted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** I'm officially friends enough with Vardaman that I can talk to him without tumbling down the cliff path! Progress!

 **Vardaman:** Bein' in an alliance with Naomi does sound real prudent, but I think it'd best be kept a secret 'til we vote out Amelie. I don't wanna look like I'm excludin' people 'cause I don't like them as much as others. Is that what I'm doin'? I feel like that's what I'm doin'. I dunno. This game is complicated. _(He begins to chew on a tongue depressor.)_

* * *

The eleven campers gathered at the dodgeball court to meet Chris and Lindsay for their next challenge.

"Alright campers, are you ready for your next challenge?" Chris asked. "Today's challenge is the refined sport of fencing. For this challenge, each team will pick one camper per round to face off against the opposing team's camper. The goal is to hit your opponent three times. Lindsay and I will be here to referee. You guys will pick your order before the challenge starts and without knowledge of the other team's order."

"Wait, we get to pick the order?" Jasper asked. "No alphabetical order?"

"Nah. Felt like that was getting old," Chris shrugged. "This challenge is best three out of five, so someone on Boldface will have to sit out. It can't be Phoenix since he was the last one on his team to sit out."

"I'll do it," Isidora volunteered.

"Can I suggest otherwise?" Phoenix asked. "I'm aware of your condition, but fencing is hardly the most taxing sport, and besides, we have Naomi, who I believe will find it hard to maneuver with her skates, and Warwick, who is a larger target than the rest of us."

"And yet no less handsome," Warwick boasted.

"Too late. Already volunteered," Isidora said.

"True," Chris added. "Any more questions?"

Silence.

"Excellent. Lindsay, bring the foils!" Chris commanded.

"Huh?" Lindsay asked.

"The rapiers," Chris clarified. Lindsay still looked confused. "Ugh. The _swords_ , Lindsay!"

"What swords?" Lindsay asked.

"I asked you to order fencing equipment online before the game started!" Chris shouted.

"I did!" Lindsay cried. "I got some wood, some hammers, some nails... I didn't know swords were involved! I've never built a fence before!"

"...Really?!" Chris shouted.

"Yeah. It doesn't look like it's very good on a manicure, plus I already have a fence around my house, and-" Lindsay elaborated.

"Not. That. Kind. Of fencing!" Chris shouted. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Well... due to... unforeseen circumstances... the challenge has now changed. We're heading back to the campground. Screaming Italics, build a fence around the boys' cabin. Killer Boldface, build a fence around the girls' cabin. Best fence after some period of time wins. Isidora's still sitting out. Let's go."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Leave it to Lindsay to make an artard move like that. _(He smirks.)_

 **Ursula:** _(She is cackling with mirth.)_

 **Tori:** Eh, fencing with swords, fencing with wood, it makes no difference to me. I'm still going to win the challenge for us.

 **Phoenix:** I'll admit, I don't know as much about building fences as I do about the sport of fencing, but I don't see this being too much of a problem for us.

* * *

The Screaming Italics all gathered next to the boys' cabin back at the campground. Next to them were several boxes filled with wooden planks, hammers, and nails.

"Alright, so, what's the plan here?" Jasper asked.

"Chris said that the best fence at the end of a period of time wins," Vardaman recalled. "Kinda hard to quantify either of those things if you ask me."

"Let's split up," Tori suggested. "Vardaman and I can work together, while Amelie, Hugh, and Jasper can work together. It gives us strength in numbers and lets us work faster."

"Works for me," Hugh shrugged.

"Um..." Amelie started.

"Vardaman and I are the strongest," Tori pointed out. "You, Hugh, and Jasper, therefore, are the weakest. If you three work together, your combined strength still won't equal mine, but it's the best we can do."

"Then why not have Vardaman work with us while you work alone?" Amelie asked. "Then our combined strength might match yours... right?"

"I didn't want to offer and make myself look like not a team player," Tori admitted. "But if Vardaman would rather work with you three..."

"I don't mind it," Vardaman smiled. "You can work alone if you want to, Tori."

"I guess that's alright," Amelie said quietly.

"Good. Now let's get started already!" Jasper said enthusiastically.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Tori:** I'm still somewhat upset over Quentin leaving. I could use some time to myself.

 **Amelie:** I didn't want to work alone with Hugh and Jasper. I'd rather not work with them at all, but with Vardaman around, maybe they'll be a bit nicer... hopefully.

* * *

The Killer Boldface, sans Isidora, all met by the girls' cabin. Like with the Screaming Italics, they had several boxes of wooden planks, hammers, and nails by them.

"So, is there a strategy or something we should use?" Ursula asked. "Phoenix, any ideas?"

"I think that, if the five of us split up and work independently, we should be able to focus better on the task at hand, and thus be more productive," Phoenix suggested. "Any objections?"

"Works for me," Naomi chirped.

"I'm fine with this," Warwick stated.

Genesis simply nodded in approval.

"Yeah, I guess that's fine," Ursula decided.

"Excellent. Sounds like we've reached a consensus," Phoenix smiled.

"Wait!" Naomi interrupted. "Can we just stop and savor this moment? Everyone on the Killer Boldface has agreed on something. This never happens!"

Naomi wrapped one arm each around Genesis and Ursula and wore a big happy grin on her face.

Phoenix and Warwick glanced at each other awkwardly.

"Are you done?" Ursula asked.

"Oh, alright," Naomi said. "I guess we should get started on the challenge, huh?"

"Probably," Genesis texted.

"In that case, let's do it!" Warwick declared.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I don't think anyone on this team has done a lot of manual labor, but we also don't have Amelie or Hugh either, and those two are pretty awful physically. I believe we have a chance.

 **Isidora:** My reasons for opting out of the challenge were twofold: for one, I hate physical activity of any kind, and for two, if I make myself out to be awful at challenges, I won't be as big of a target in the merge, and the smaller the target on my back is, the better, especially since my social game is so... yeah.

* * *

Amelie, Hugh, Jasper, and Vardaman all worked together on one section of the fence.

"It's looking good," Jasper smiled.

"Don't forget to add a corner to it," Vardaman mentioned. "We don't wanna build just one long line by accident."

"Yeah, good point," Hugh nodded.

"So, the merge has to be soon, right, guys?" Jasper asked. "You guys excited?"

"I ain't gonna get my hopes up 'til it happens," Vardaman decided. "For all I know, I could be goin' home tonight."

"But you're in the majority and really nice," Amelie mentioned. "Who would vote you out?"

"Hidden statues are still in play, remember?" Vardaman pointed out. "I could vote for the wrong person n' pay the price for it."

"Guess we shouldn't vote for the wrong person then," Hugh said.

"Well gee, hadn't thought of that," Jasper said cheekily.

"Yeah, screw off," Hugh responded disdainfully.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Actually, Hugh n' I both know that Tori has Quentin's statue - least we think so, anyway. Actually, that could be scary to go up against in the merge: a challenge threat like her with a hidden statue to boot. I know she's my ally n' my friend, but still. I'm playin' to win, n' I ain't sure I can win if I'm up against that for too long.

 **Jasper:** The thing I'm most looking forward to about the merge is finding a new girl I can latch onto. I haven't been anyone's gay best friend in too long. Naomi seems like the kind of girl who'd appreciate my company. I know I'd appreciate hers. _(He giggles pervertedly.)_

* * *

As Genesis worked on part of the fence, Ursula approached her.

"Hey, Genesis, can we talk?" Ursula asked.

Genesis gestured towards her part of the fence.

"Right. Anyway, I was thinking about what you said, about a potential stra-" Ursula started. She was cut off by Genesis quickly putting her hand over the Halloween fan's mouth. She then gestured for Ursula to talk more quietly. "Sorry," Ursula whispered. "Anyway, I'm up for it. I'm getting sick and tired of Phoenix. I'm willing to lose him if you and Naomi are on board."

Genesis wore a thoughtful look on her face and made an "I guess" kind of look.

"We can talk about it later. Just know that, should we lose, I'm open to discuss," Ursula said.

Genesis smirked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** I still don't trust Genesis entirely... if at all, to be frank... but I do know that Phoenix is the one who's been able to make so many allies on this team so easily while pissing a minimal number of people off. I'd say he's a bigger threat than Genesis, to be honest.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Man, it's a pain to not be able to talk while I'm using my hands for something else. Still, the fact that Ursula's willing to talk to me without glaring daggers at me shows that we're making at least some progress. But can I trust her more than Isidora and Warwick? After all, she has been after my head for the past week or so.

* * *

As Tori worked on her own part of the fence, Isidora approached her.

"Yo," Isidora greeted dryly.

"Hello, Isidora," Tori greeted.

"So, we're still friends, right?" Isidora asked. "I know we haven't been talking much, but we've both had our own issues to deal with on our own teams and stuff, but you don't hate me or anything, right?"

"I still consider you a friend," Tori smiled. "If this is a preemptive alliance offer for the merge, then I accept that as well."

"Cool. I have Warwick for sure on my side, and maaaaaybe Genesis," Isidora said. "I'm technically aligned with Phoenix and Ursula, but I don't trust them all that much, so I'd only talk to them if we need the numbers."

"I am aligned with Hugh and Vardaman," Tori said. "Amelie wishes to join us, but we don't see much benefit in adding her, especially since we'll need targets going into the merge."

"I don't know. Realistically speaking, we can use as many people as we can get," Isidora thought aloud.

"But I don't know her well enough to trust her," Tori stated.

"Yeah, point," Isidora decided. "How'd you end up aligned with Hugh, by the way?"

"I'm not entirely sure myself," Tori chuckled.

Isidora chuckled as well.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I won't tell Tori this to her face, but I do think keeping Amelie around is a good idea if only for my game, because she's one of the few people I can see myself beating in a physical challenge, and since the finale is almost always a physical challenge, I'm going to need the weakest possible people to join me in the endgame.

 **Tori:** It's a shame Isidora and I ended up on separate teams. I feel like we could have been a very strong duo if given the chance. Well, I'd be strong, but you get what I mean.

* * *

Warwick approached Phoenix as the latter worked on his part of the fence.

"Phoenix, my man, what's happening?" Warwick greeted.

"What?" Phoenix asked, confused.

"You know, we're in an alliance, but we never really talk, do we?" Warwick asked. "I just think we should get to know each other a bit better."

"Now's not the time," Phoenix said. "We have a challenge to win. If you want to get to know me, we can talk after the challenge, unless we lose, in which case, tomorrow morning. I don't want to waste strategizing time on socializing. That'd be foolish."

"Because heaven forbid anyone have a life in this game," Warwick muttered.

"I'm sorry?" Phoenix asked, indicating for Warwick to speak louder.

"It's not important," Warwick said. "Fine, I'll get back to the challenge."

"Please do," Phoenix said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** I don't understand why someone would think to socialize in the middle of a challenge. There's a time and place for everything, and a challenge is certainly not the time to be doing that, especially so late in the premerge, where winning is incredibly important because keeping up your numbers going into the merge is key.

 **Warwick:** Phoenix needs to get laid. Is Total Drama gameplay really all he cares about? What happens when the show ends? What will he do with his life then?

* * *

"Alright, campers, I've already grown bored, so the challenge is over!" Chris announced on the PA. "Drop what you're doing. It's time for judging."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** What?! But we're not even close to done with our fence! We're going to lose! Noooooooooo!

 **Hugh:** Wait, seriously?! We just started! We're so boned.

* * *

Chris arrived at the campground and inspected the campers' work. Neither team had anything that could be considered an effective fence. Both teams had nailed some wood planks together, but none of them were stuck into the ground, and a lot of the fruits of the campers' labor weren't connected to one another.

"Okay, yeah, both of your fences suck," Chris said. He spasmed as Lindsay arrived and set off his shock collar. "And don't you start, missy. You're the reason we had to change the challenge at the last minute to something so... boring!"

Tears filled Lindsay's eyes and she hung her head.

"Don't you think that's a bit harsh?" Naomi asked.

"Ha! You've never seen this show before, have you?" Chris laughed condescendingly. "Anyway, looking at the fences, it seems to me like the Italics' teamwork was better. They built less length of fence overall, but it looks sturdy, which is what fences are supposed to be. The Boldface, meanwhile, have much longer lengths of fence, and if a fence isn't long, then what good is it? The problem is, it looks like I could kick it down, if it was set up at all, which neither team's fence is."

"So who wins?" Amelie asked.

"Hm... I'd say..." Chris started.

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"The Screaming Italics win!" Chris decided.

Amelie breathed a big sigh of relief. Tori and Vardaman smiled and shared a high-five. Hugh folded his arms with a smug grin. Jasper nodded with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Meaning that, tonight, the Killer Boldface will be voting someone out," Chris said as he turned to face the losing team. "I'll see you six tonight."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** I was sort of hoping we'd lose so I'd have the chance to take out Amelie. Now I'm not so sure it'll be so easy, since I'm pretty sure the merge is up after this round. I might give up on her for now and just see what's convenient when the merge itself does start.

 **Amelie:** Did... Did I just make the final ten?! I never thought I'd make the final twenty, let alone the final ten. I still don't think I can win, but I'm going to try to make it as far as I can anyway.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ This is going to be a complicated vote, I can already tell. Isidora and Warwick want Naomi gone, and now Ursula's open to working with me again, and Phoenix is probably still pushing to get rid of me.

 **Phoenix:** There's really no reason for Genesis to not go home tonight. I have the majority on my side with Isidora, Ursula, and Warwick. Things should go my way tonight.

 **Isidora:** I need Genesis' vote tonight. The plan to blindside Naomi is dependent on it. I need to convince her that it's a good idea to leave her behind.

* * *

Isidora led Genesis to the top of the cliff, where Warwick stood in wait.

"I already told you I'm not interested in this," Genesis texted.

"Just hear us out," Warwick frowned.

"Look, Naomi's a bigger threat than she lets on," Isidora said. "For one, being on skates all the time means she's going to be faster than most people, which could help her in challenges, especially footraces, which tends to be the finale challenge."

"That might hold water if she wasn't constantly tripping over herself," Genesis texted.

"That brings me to my next point," Isidora continued. "Her constantly getting herself hurt has led to Vardaman fixing her up a lot. I've seen the two interact. I'm pretty sure they like each other romantically. And what if they get together? She'll hold more loyalty to you than to him. And don't think that voting him out will help, because then she'll feel betrayed by you."

"She'll feel betrayed by me if I vote her out now," Genesis texted.

"But she won't be able to do anything about it!" Warwick added. "If you keep her and vote out Vardaman, she'll still be there to make you feel guilty, or worse, try to get you voted out! You've seen how Ursula reacted to Osric getting voted out."

"Somehow I doubt Naomi will react the same way as Ursula," Genesis texted.

"It's not like her leaving you will affect her that much," Isidora said. "That brings me to my third point: her social game. She's extroverted, she's friendly, and her gameplay has been pretty clean. I don't think she's pissed anyone off with the moves she's made. You, meanwhile, rely on your phone to communicate, which can make it a pain to talk to you in all frankness, plus you have a reputation of being a backstabber."

"Again, how is voting out Naomi going to help with that?" Genesis texted.

"Well it can't hurt your reputation any further," Warwick pointed out.

Genesis looked taken aback, then wore a thoughtful look on her face.

"Well, we've said our piece," Isidora said. "Take some time to think about it."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** Naomi is a much bigger threat than people seem to realize. It started off as just wanting to get rid of her for being annoying and to get Genesis to prove herself, but the more I talk about it, the more I want her gone. I'm not going to let it get to my head like Phoenix or Ursula, though. If it doesn't work out, I can deal with that.

 **Warwick:** Genesis better wise up that Naomi's the best target right now. We even offered her a comfy spot in our alliance if she votes her out. I don't see why she has to make this so difficult.

* * *

Genesis, Naomi, and Ursula met up in the girls' cabin.

"Please don't make me mediate another fight. I'm not sure my little heart can take it," Naomi pouted.

"Relax. Actually, Genesis and I decided to call a truce," Ursula grinned.

"It's true," Genesis texted as she nodded. "And Ursula even has a target in mind."

"Phoenix," Ursula said. "He's getting too cocky for his own good, plus he's currently in the majority right now. Or so he thinks."

"Wait, majority?" Genesis texted. "What majority?"

"He's got an alliance with me, Isidora, and Warwick," Ursula explained. "But I'm turning on him, and with you and Naomi, we can at least tie."

"Actually," Genesis texted with a smirk. "Warwick's pushing to get Naomi out, so if the three of us vote for Phoenix, then the split vote will give us a majority."

"Wait, Warwick wants me gone?!" Naomi gasped. "What did I do to him?"

"You can relax, Naomi," Genesis texted. "Nobody listens to Warwick."

"Besides, this is good news," Ursula said. "It means our blindside can go without a hitch. No ties or anything."

"That's true," Naomi figured. "Oh man, this is great!" Naomi pulled Genesis and Ursula in for a hug. "My two best friends are getting along again!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ The plan should work in theory, but, I'll be honest, I'm still back and forth on the whole Naomi thing, which is why I didn't give all the details behind who's targeting her and why. Isidora and Warwick did make some good points about voting her out, I will concede, but is it worth losing my closest ally over? I'm still not sure to be honest.

 **Naomi:** I'm so happy that Genesis and Ursula were able to bury the hatchet. Now I don't have to worry about saying the wrong thing about one of them in front of the other or putting up with them complaining about each other or anything!

* * *

Phoenix gathered Isidora, Ursula, and Warwick to the mess hall.

"I have gathered you all here for an important reason," Phoenix said. "To celebrate."

"What?" Isidora asked.

Phoenix entered the kitchen and then returned with a cart which had platters of food upon it.

"It's not Yolonda-level cooking, but I did what I could," Phoenix said. "For Isidora, a kale salad. For Ursula, a pumpkin pie. For Warwick, a rare steak. For myself, almond-crusted tilapia."

"What's the occasion?" Ursula asked.

"Why, isn't it obvious?" Phoenix asked. "Tonight is the night that we can finally get rid of Genesis."

"Is that why you asked me what my favorite food is earlier today?" Warwick asked.

"It is indeed," Phoenix said. "I told myself going into this game that I wouldn't let emotions govern my gameplay. For the most part, I like to think I'm succeeding, But there is one contestant of mine who, I will concede makes me take this game in a less logical manner. That contestant is Genesis. What started off as me targeting her for logic's sake led to me growing more and more passionate about taking her out the more she kept on surviving. She's become my rival through her own gameplay, and through this gameplay, she has earned the ire of all of you as well. Warwick, Genesis voted for Zarardo. If not for her, your loyal and trusty advisor would still be here to assist you in the game and to do whatever tasks you asked of him."

"The fiend!" Warwick gasped.

"Ursula, Genesis voted for Osric," Phoenix continued. "If not for her, your funny and charming boyfriend would still be here to make you laugh and to hold you in his arms."

"That is true..." Ursula grumbled.

"Isidora, Genesis voted for Ronoc," Phoenix continued. "If not for her, your quirky older boyfriend would still be here to-"

"Alright, first of all, you voted for Ronoc too," Isidora interrupted. "And secondly, he is not my boyfriend. I'm not even sure if I'd call him a friend."

"My point is, Genesis has put us all in a worse position in the game by voting for our allies," Phoenix said. "But no longer. Karma has come in the form of the four of us, and we will show her that the contestants in this game are not just chess pieces, but real people. Real people with friends. Friends who care about them. Friends who will avenge their fallen allies! Now, let's feast!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** I've been planning that speech in my head for a while now. Man, it's satisfying to finally give it!

 **Isidora:** Well that was about the lamest speech I've heard in my life.

 **Warwick:** You know how I said Phoenix needs to get laid? Given his obsession with Genesis, I think she might be just the girl he needs.

 **Ursula:** Ugh, Phoenix has a point. Genesis has screwed me over, hasn't she? She voted for Osric despite being aligned with him... can I really trust her? God, I miss Osric. He'd probably know what to do right about now. Then again, if he was here, right about now wouldn't have happened at all.

* * *

The six members of the Killer Boldface met up at the bonfire pit. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"Welcome, Killer Boldface, to the last elimination of the premerge," Chris greeted. "Yes, that's right, as some of you figured out, this is the last premerge round. Meaning that whoever goes home was just one round short of getting the badge of honor known as making the merge. No pressure. Heheheh."

"Oh get on with it!" Warwick shouted. Chris pelted Warwick in the eye with a marshmallow in response.

"So yeah, Warwick's safe," Chris said. "Also safe are..."

"Ursula,"

"And Isidora."

Genesis, Naomi, and Phoenix both sat in wait for who would get the next marshmallow.

"Next person who is safe is..."

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"Nobody! It's a tie!" Chris chuckled.

"Wait, what?!" Genesis texted.

"Yep. A three-way tie," Chris laughed. "Here's how it's going to work. Everyone who's not Genesis, Naomi, or Phoenix, go cast a revote."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Naomi:** Wait, so more than one person voted for me? Oh no.

 **Phoenix:** I'm not surprised that I got two votes, but I'm very surprised that Naomi got any, and that Genesis only got two.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ So I got more than one vote, huh? Very interesting.

* * *

After the re-votes had been cast, Chris continued the elimination ceremony.

"Alright, the re-votes have been cast," Chris said. "And I can confirm that there are no ties this time, meaning that the rocks will not come out like they did with Yolonda. That said, the person with no re-votes against them and is safe is..."

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"Genesis," Chris finally said as he tossed the mute girl a marshmallow.

Naomi and Phoenix glanced at each other very nervously.

"Naomi, Phoenix, I only have one marshmallow left," Chris said seriously. "And it goes to..."

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"Phoenix," Chris said as he tossed the strategist a marshmallow.

"Oh no..." Naomi said quietly.

"Oh yes!" Chris said with a grin.

"How on Earth...?" Genesis texted angrily.

"If anyone wants to see Naomi off, you can follow us to the Dock of Shame," Chris said. Everyone else can head to bed."

* * *

Naomi, Genesis, Ursula, and Chris all came to the Dock of Shame.

"I thought Phoenix was going home for sure," Naomi said sadly. "How did _I_ get voted out?"

"I want to know how the tie happened," Genesis texted as she glared at Ursula.

"Alright, alright, I voted for Genesis!" Ursula admitted. "But only because I thought that's what the majority was voting. I didn't think Naomi would actually get votes. I changed my vote to Phoenix on the revote, I swear!"

"It's partially my fault too," Genesis texted with a silent sigh. "I knew both Isidora and Warwick were planning on voting for Naomi, and I didn't tell you guys."

"Hey, it's alright," Naomi said with a small smile as she took Genesis and Ursula by the hand. "I had a ton of fun in this game, even if I didn't make the merge. I'm glad I met the both of you. I'm glad I met Osric and Vardaman and so many others, too. But it's just a game, right? I don't need a million dollars that badly. But I'm still rooting for the both of you. And don't forget to have fun, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's touching and all that. Whatever," Chris remarked as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors.

"Sorry this had to happen," Ursula apologized.

"This definitely isn't how I wanted tonight to go," Genesis texted.

"I'm sad, but it's not the worst thing in the world to lose on Total Drama," Naomi said. "After all, that means I was still on Total Drama, right?"

"Genesis, Ursula, you two can head to bed now. Any last words, Naomi?" Chris asked.

"What does this button do?" Naomi said. "I always wanted those to be my last words."

Genesis and Ursula chuckled as they left the Dock of Shame, each waving goodbye to their friend. As they left, Naomi entered the Elevator of Losers.

"Naomi, you have finished the game in 11th place," Chris said.

"Tell Vardaman I think he's cute!" Naomi exclaimed.

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater. Chris turned to the camera. "Now, normally this is the point where Lindsay and I ask questions about what might go down in the next episode, but next episode's going to be a bit different."

"That's right!" Lindsay added as she arrived on scene. "Tomorrow, I'm going down the Elevator of Losers myself so we can see what the premerge boots have been up to since they lost the game. There'll be interviews and everything. It'll be so much fun!"

"So yeah, no acting like we don't know what's happening in the next episode," Chris chuckled. "So until then- OW!" Chris spasmed as Lindsay set off his shock collar. "What was that for?!"

"For making me cry earlier today," Lindsay frowned.

"Tune in next time on Total Drama Alpha Party," Chris moaned.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Phoenix:** Genesis, you've been a worthy rival, but all rivalries must come to an end at some point, once someone overpowers the other.

 **Ursula:** Yeah, Phoenix is right, I don't think I can trust Genesis. Her offer to talk strategy is probably just to sway my vote. Well I'm not falling for it. I vote for Genesis.

 **Naomi:** Phoenix does seem like quite the strategic threat kind of guy, so I think voting for him is probably smart probably.

 **Warwick:** Good riddance, Naomi the whelp! I shan't miss you!

 **Isidora:** Time to see if Genesis is able to make the smart decision or not. I vote for Naomi.

 **Genesis:** Though I'm tentative on trusting Ursula at the moment, if I do lose, I'd rather lose on a more honorable note, so I'm going to stick with her and Naomi and vote for Phoenix.

 _(Ursula changed her vote to Phoenix on the re-vote. All other eligible voters did not change their vote.)_

* * *

 _A/N: Naomi was definitely a different kind of character by Alpha Party standards. Alpha Party has been and likely will continue to be a very strategy-oriented season, so I knew that including a protagonist who didn't focus too hard on strategy and mostly acted like a goofball would be important for keeping things from being too dull. Of course, that can only stay interesting for so long, and I didn't want her to get stale nor did I want to take away her over-the-top personality to justify her making it far, so I feel like this was a good point to lose her. She seemed to be a fairly popular character overall, but I don't think I could have done that much more with her, so this is where she goes._


	16. Ep 15: Wawanakwa Underground

_A/N: I know I said I'd get back to Explore Party, but I'm really not feeling Explore Party right now, and I don't want to force myself to write it only to come up with something barely passable. Besides, it's the loser episode! People like those, right?_

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, _someone_ messed up, so what was supposed to be a cool fencing sword fight, ended up with the campers trying to build fences," Chris recapped as he leered at Lindsay.

"I said I was sorry!" Lindsay cried.

"On the Screaming Italics, Amelie was desperate for new allies after Jasper backstabbed Mondo, so she turned to Vardaman for a hopeful spot in his alliance. Vardaman was hesitant," Chris continued. "Meanwhile, Jasper tried convincing Hugh that Amelie needed to be voted off. Hugh was hesitant."

"And on the other team, Isidora and Warwick came up with a way for Genesis to prove herself: to vote out Naomi!" Lindsay added. "Meanwhile, Genesis and Ursula formed a truce in order to take out Phoenix."

"The Screaming Italics won the challenge, so it was up to the Killer Boldface to vote someone out," Chris said. "Isidora and Warwick wanted Naomi gone, Genesis, Naomi, and Ursula wanted Phoenix gone, and Phoenix wanted Genesis gone. The vote seemed simple, but not so much."

"Ursula voted for Genesis because she wasn't sure if she could trust her, leading to a three-way tie, which led to Naomi going home!" Lindsay added.

"Well... she didn't exactly go _home_ ," Chris chuckled. "And this episode's going to illustrate that!"

"Today, I'll be going down the Elevator of Losers to talk to the sixteen campers who have been voted off," Lindsay said.

"We're going to see how Dalit, Lester, Bijou, Xingrong, Ronoc, Stormy~, Yolonda, Kelsey, Cordelia, Osric, Ephraim, Zarardo, Fauna, Quentin, Mondo, and Naomi have been spending their time since their eliminations," Chris said.

"I'll interview each and every one of them," Lindsay chirped. "And who knows? Maybe something interesting might happen."

"Find out, right here, on Total!" Chris started.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

The Elevator of Losers had just finished its descent underground. Its doors opened, and out stepped Lindsay.

"Welcome to the Coal Mine of Failure!" Lindsay said to the camera.

The camera panned away from Lindsay and showed off the premises. The Elevator had stopped in one large, round area, which had several large tents surrounding it and lanterns illuminating it. There were mine carts full of coal strewn about the area as well. Lastly, there was a path in the very back, which led to eventual darkness - likely a mine shaft.

"When someone's voted out of this game, they're sent down here, where they have to compensate for being voted out by mining for coal, which we use to power the island!" Lindsay explained.

"And we're supposed to be okay with that?!" Fauna snapped as she approached Lindsay. Her face and hands were dirty, and her hair was now in an afro.

"Oh my gosh, what happened to your hair?!" Lindsay gasped. "Okay, your interview's not supposed to be for a while, but what happened to your hair?!"

"I stopped relaxing it, that's what," Fauna said. "I thought that if I made my hair look less naturally black, then people might be more open to listening to me, but since that clearly ain't the case, then I'm going to embrace my nappy hair!"

"...I'm just going to assume that makes sense to the viewers at home," Lindsay chuckled.

"But what's worse is that they're just exploiting us for slave labor now?!" Fauna snapped. "And people say that racial equality has already happened. Pfft! Look at this shit!"

"Uh, yeah, the white people have to work too, you know," Osric said as he approached the two girls. Like Fauna, his face and hands were dirty. "Besides, we don't have to work all day or anything."

"But you don't have to work as hard to get respect around here, do you?!" Fauna snapped.

"Have you ever thought that the fact that no one respects you may not, in fact, have something to do with your race?" Osric asked flatly.

"Your ignorance is going to trigger me!" Fauna cried as she ran off.

"She's one thing I definitely didn't miss about being in the game," Osric remarked to Lindsay.

"Well, your interview isn't for a while either," Lindsay told Osric. "I'm supposed to go in elimination order, starting with Dalit. Do you know where she is?"

"Well, we've all been given the day off of mining duty, so I doubt she's in the mine shaft," Osric thought aloud. "Try the girls' sleeping tent. It's the pink one over there." Osric pointed at a pink tent to the left of the area.

"Alright, thanks!" Lindsay chirped.

* * *

In the girls' tent, Dalit sat on a cot as Bijou ran a brush through her hair. Of note was the fact that Dalit was no longer wearing her ragged clothes from before, but now a bright orange blouse, blue jeans, and flip-flops.

"I can brush my own hair," Dalit insisted as she folded her arms.

"Nonsense. I enjoy brushing people's hair. It's therapeutic to me," Bijou insisted. "And with all the dirt that constantly gets under my nails and on my clothes, I could use something to relieve the stress."

"How will I learn if you won't let I?" Dalit asked.

"Won't let _me_ ," Bijou corrected.

"Hey, girls!" Lindsay greeted as she entered the tent.

"Oh, Lindsay's here," Bijou pointed out.

"I'm looking for Dalit. Do you know where she is?" Lindsay asked.

"I am here," Dalit said as she turned to face Lindsay.

"...Dalit?" Lindsay gasped. "I almost didn't recognize you!"

"Since my early elimination, I have made it my duty and my mission to reveal Dalit's true beauty," Bijou boasted. "I couldn't allow her to keep wearing those rags with such messy hair. A little eyeliner didn't hurt, either."

"Some boys told me I'm now pretty," Dalit admitted with a slight smile.

"Well, I'm here to interview all of you guys, in order of elimination, so Dalit, you're up first," Lindsay said.

"Okay. What you want to ask?" Dalit asked.

"Well, for starters, you seem to be in a much better mood now than you were before," Lindsay noted. "What brought that along?"

"At first, I was mad, because they make me do more slave work," Dalit admitted. "I yelled at Lester a lot. But then Bijou came, and she started being my friend. She teaches me not to be so angry."

"I'm also teaching her better fashion and better grammar," Bijou said proudly.

"How did you end up auditioning for Total Drama?" Lindsay asked Dalit. "Did your master let you?"

"No. He would never let me go on Total Drama," Dalit scowled resentfully. "A Canada tourist visited his mansion one day and found me. She helped me make the audition video. They sended the accepting letter to her, so when she got it, she came back to Israel and helped me sneak away."

"The word is sent, not sended," Bijou corrected.

"Sent! I always forget that one," Dalit said as she rapped herself on the head.

"Are you worried about going back home to your master?" Lindsay asked.

"I was very scared," Dalit said. "I know my master will not watch this show, so he will not know where I am, but if I come back, he will be very mad at me. But Bijou said I can live with her when we can go home."

"I'm sure he can live with one less slave," Bijou insisted. "Though, now that I think about it, you might need a last name if you're going to move to Canada. For legal reasons."

"But I never have a last name," Dalit frowned.

"I know," Bijou said. "We can think of something."

"If I marry a boy here, can I have his last name?" Dalit asked.

"That might not be so simple, but we'll see," Bijou chuckled.

"Last question for Dalit," Lindsay said. "Who do you think should win this game?"

"I don't remember all the names," Dalit admitted. "Whoever works the hardest should win. No one who makes everyone else work for them!"

"Alright, that should do it. Thanks, Dalit," Lindsay said. "Next up is Lester."

"I bet I know where he is," Bijou said with a knowing smirk. "He and Stormy~ like to sneak off in a certain corner of the mine shaft sometimes. Come on, I'll lead you there."

* * *

Lindsay had arrived at the corner of the mine shaft where Bijou had led her to see Lester and Stormy~ both playing on handheld video game systems.

"Aw, crap!" Lester cried. "I was totally in the lead!"

"I didn't know I was so good at racing games," Stormy~ chuckled.

"I swear, one day I'm going to learn to be better than you at being a pop star," Lester insisted.

"But you're already a YouTube star," Stormy~ pointed out.

"Yeah, true," Lester chuckled.

"Hey, guys," Lindsay greeted.

"Oh, hey, it's Lindsay," Lester realized as he closed his game system. Stormy~ closed hers as well.

"I'm here to interview everyone, and right now it's Lester's turn," Lindsay said.

"Lay it on me, Linds," Lester grinned.

"First of all, how shocked were you to be one of the first campers voted out?" Lindsay asked.

"Yo, I was pretty shocked," Lester admitted. "I mean, this was a blind playthrough of Total Drama, so I had no idea what I was getting into, but I'm good at video games, so I figured I'd be able to figure this game out pretty quickly. I figured I'd last longer than one day at least, that's for sure."

"Did you have any plans for winning the game?" Lindsay asked.

"Okay, check this," Lester started. "You know how Xingrong and Quentin were in my party, right? Well, I was going to take advantage of that by having us all vote the same way so we'd be able to take everyone else by surprise. Three votes are better than one, right? So while everyone else is voting individually, we'd be voting as a unit. It's foolproof."

"So you'd have an alliance?" Lindsay asked.

Lester looked aghast.

"I didn't want him to know," Stormy~ told Lindsay quietly.

"Shoot, you mean that that's already a mechanic?!" Lester gasped. "And here I thought I had the perfect strategy!"

"It's okay, Lester-Bear. I'm sure that if you had the chance, your alliance would have done great," Stormy~ said comfortingly.

"'Lester-Bear'?" Lindsay asked.

"Aw, she doesn't know!" Lester realized. "Yeah, Stormy~ and I are kind of a thing now."

"How'd that start?" Lindsay asked, eager to know.

"Well, there weren't a lot of people down here when Stormy~ showed up, so she started hanging out with me. She was interested in me playing video games," Lester said. "Soon enough, we started hanging out every day, and, after a while, I asked her out. I still can't believe she said yes."

"Of course I said yes," Stormy~ smiled. "You're so nice and funny."

"That's what my mom always told me," Lester bragged.

"It'll be the celebrity couple that everyone will be talking about!" Stormy~ winked.

"She even lets me call her Sayaka. She doesn't even let Bijou call her that, and they're like best friends," Lester bragged.

"I don't want anyone to know my real name!" Stormy~ pouted. "Lester-Beeeeeeeear!"

"Sorry babe," Lester apologized.

"Last question for Lester," Lindsay said. "Who do you think should win this game?"

"Oh, the Total Drama game? I don't know. Haven't thought about it very much," Lester admitted. "None of my friends are even still in it, so I don't really care who wins to be honest."

"Alright, thanks for your time, Lester," Lindsay smiled.

"Yeah, no prob, G," Lester winked.

* * *

Lindsay returned to the girls' sleeping tent, where Bijou had remained. She was mid-conversation with Kelsey, who sat on a cot with her leg propped up.

"I can't wait for my ankle to heal fully," Kelsey said. "I feel like it's almost there, but it isn't back a hundred percent yet."

"Be glad it was just a sprain and not a full-on break," Bijou said. "Casts are not cute."

"I don't care about being cute, I care about being productive," Kelsey insisted. "When you're dead, no one's going to remember you for being good-looking, they'll remember you for your accomplishments."

"Tell that to Audrey Hepburn," Bijou said opinionatedly.

"I've never actually seen any of her movies," Kelsey admitted.

"Exactly," Bijou said.

"Hey, Bijou, it's time for your interview," Lindsay said.

"I will answer your questions with honesty. Candor, if the situation calls for it," Bijou said proudly.

"Well, for starters, are you still upset at losing the game so early?" Lindsay asked.

"Working on Dalit has helped calm me down," Bijou admitted. "Plus, Stormy~ showed up not long after, so we've been able to hang out, which has also helped.

"Lester said you and Stormy~ are best friends," Lindsay nodded.

"Well, obviously she likes to spend time with Lester, and I've become friends with Dalit, but Stormy~ and I make sure to make time for each other every day," Bijou said. "Usually to talk about people behind their backs."

"Classy," Kelsey commented.

"Relax. Usually it's just Hugh we talk about," Bijou smirked.

"How does it feel knowing Hugh is still in the game despite everything?" Lindsay asked.

"It's sickening!" Bijou shouted. "Why is he being rewarded for being a rude, boorish, untrustworthy... I could go on."

"I get the picture," Lindsay admitted.

"My point is that he doesn't deserve to make it this far, especially after stealing Stormy~'s statue, resulting in her elimination!" Bijou ranted.

"Last question," Lindsay said. "Who do you think should win?"

"I never got to know very many people during my time in the game," Bijou said. "The people I didn't like stand out more than the people I did, so I can't recall anyone who I'd be particularly happy with winning. The guy with the gold-and-gemstone crown, perhaps? That was a nice crown."

"Speaking of Warwick, up next is his rival, Xingrong," Lindsay said.

"When he's not mining coal, he's always in the dining tent," Kelsey said. "I'm pretty sure he even sleeps in there."

"It's the tacky-looking mint green tent across from here," Bijou clarified.

* * *

Lindsay entered the dining tent to see Xingrong sharpening a wooden stake with a kitchen knife. Quentin sat at one of the tables reading a book.

"Remind me when I'm allowed to carry a stake around?" Quentin inquired.

"When you know by heart which mustards to use with which meats," Xingrong said. "Only then will the dark gods grant thee the ability to hunt for meat of your own!"

"Well, I'm getting closer, at least," Quentin said as he gestured at the book. "I didn't even know that stone-ground mustard was a thing until a couple minutes ago."

"Fwahahahaha!" Xingrong bellowed. "You still have much to learn! But that is why you are my apprentice! So that I may teach thee!"

"So, when people on TV go hunting, does that mean they know all this stuff about mustard? Is that a part of getting a hunting license?" Quentin asked.

"Ha! You don't need a license to hunt for your own meat," Xingrong smirked. "The gods provide meat for the lost and the hungry. I don't need the government's approval to eat what is rightfully mine!"

"Ahe-he-hem," Lindsay cleared her throat.

"Whoa, it's Lindsay!" Quentin said. "Is she the meat that the dark gods provided for us?"

"No! No! I'm just here to interview everyone who's been voted off!" Lindsay said as she waved her hands defensively. "Right now it's Xingrong's turn."

"Ask away, wench," Xingrong grinned. "It's about time I'm once again given the attention I was called to receive."

"Alright, first of all, what's with the pointy stick?" Lindsay asked as she gestured at Xingrong's stake.

"I'm going to hunt for bats with this!" Xingrong said proudly. "They're the only non-human meat this mine shaft has to offer, and damn if I'm going to make a sandwich without any meat!"

"What kinds of food _do_ they serve down here?" Lindsay asked.

"They provide us with our daily bread, for which I am most thankful," Xingrong said reverently. "And I'm talking about actual literal bread here. Very helpful in making sandwiches. But aside from bread, and of course, water, we are given little else. Needless to say, I am not happy about this!"

"Yolonda isn't happy about it either," Quentin added. "I think not being able to cook has been stressing her out."

"She is irrelevant," Xingrong said dismissively. "My divine mission is to spread Wichmastery upon you all! I shall have top priority in the kitchen!"

"Which gods are you talking about again?" Lindsay asked.

"The dark gods of the underworld!" Xingrong clarified. "I am an angel of darkness given this mortal form to teach the world of the living the true art behind making sandwiches!"

"Why do the dark gods care if we know how to make sandwiches?" Lindsay asked.

"Fool! They have chosen to provide you with the knowledge to attaining true happiness!" Xingrong declared. "And you _dare_ question them?!"

"It wasn't my intention, honest!" Lindsay squealed. "Um, last question: who do you want to win the game?"

"Anyone but that _stultorum errans_ , Warwick!" Xingrong decided. "How he has survived this long in the game is a mystery the gods themselves could not decipher."

"I thought you said the dark gods were all-knowing," Quentin pointed out.

Xingrong's face went blank.

"Well, I'm going to go talk to Ronoc next," Lindsay said as she backed away slowly.

* * *

Ronoc leaned against the Elevator of Losers, smoking his trademark cigar, as he spoke to Osric.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Osric asked.

"I don't know, anything will do," Ronoc shrugged. "I just need to be talking to someone before Lindsay shows up to interview me. Everyone else will be doing the same thing."

"So you don't actually have anything to say to me?" Osric asked, his eyebrow raised. "I'm starting to remember why we voted you off."

"Hey, watch your tone. You know, you weren't always going to end up in a relationship with Ursula, and I can take that away," Ronoc warned.

"Excuse me?!" Osric gasped. "What is that supposed to mean?!"

"Oh, sorry, _the author_ can take that away," Ronoc corrected as he took a puff of his cigar. "Anyway, here comes Lindsay. Now you're going to act all friendly so there's no uncomfortable tension during this interview."

"You got it, buddy of mine," Osric said with a jolly grin as he wrapped his arm around Ronoc.

"Okay, too close," Ronoc said as he awkwardly took Osric's arm off of his shoulder.

"Hey, guys. Am I interrupting anything?" Lindsay asked as she approached the two boys.

"No, not at all," Osric smiled.

"I'm just enjoying a nice cigar and a chat with my close personal friend Osric," Ronoc said casually. "But now it's time for my interview, so let's get this done so you can move on to the actually plot-relevant characters."

"What do you mean by 'plot-relevant'?" Lindsay asked.

"I mean that, in the grand scheme of things, I didn't contribute a ton to the overall story of the game," Ronoc clarified as he took a puff of his cigar. "I was pure filler."

"Aw, I'm sure everyone added _something_ ," Lindsay said empathetically.

"Really? What did Dalit or Lester add? Or Bijou? Or Xingrong?" Ronoc asked. "Really, everyone who left before Kelsey was little more than a filler character." Ronoc paused to take a smoke. "That can change, of course, but what do I know? I'm not the author."

"Who's this author you keep talking about?" Lindsay asked.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Ronoc grinned as he adjusted his sunglasses.

"Why do you always have a cigar?" Lindsay asked.

"Because it makes me look instantly cooler," Ronoc said with a wink. "Besides, tobacco is beneficial to your health, especially at a young age."

"Really?" Lindsay asked, seemingly believing him.

"I think that was a joke," Osric pointed out. "...I _hope_ that was a joke."

Ronoc just shrugged in response.

"Who do you want to win this game?" Lindsay asked.

"Oh, I already know who's winning this game," Ronoc said. "And I won't dare spoil it. Not even if you really piss me off. And since you're wondering, Stormy~ is currently watching Zarardo perform magic right over there." Ronoc pointed to another spot in the main area.

"Oh. Thanks," Lindsay chirped as she left to talk to Stormy~

* * *

True to Ronoc's word, Stormy~ watched as Zarardo performed magic tricks.

"Alright, so I've marked your card with this Z insignia," Zarardo said as he showed the pop star the card. "I'm going to shuffle it back into the deck here."

"I can't wait to see where this is going!" Stormy~ said excitedly.

"Now I want you to think of a word that begins with J and ends with A," Zarardo instructed.

"Is this part of the trick?" Stormy~ asked.

"It is," Zarardo nodded.

Stormy~ looked deep in thought when Lindsay approached the two.

"Hey guys. Can I talk to Stormy~ for a second?" Lindsay asked.

"Now is not the time," Zarardo said with a leer.

"Okay!" Stormy~ complied.

Zarardo groaned loudly. "There goes my trick."

"Be patient, Zarardo. You'll get your turn," Lindsay frowned. "Now, Stormy~, first thing's first, how does it feel knowing they made a whole rule because of how unfair your elimination was?"

"They did?" Stormy~ asked.

"I believe Chris mentioned something about not being allowed to steal Invincibility Statues from other players," Zarardo said.

"I do kind of wish that rule was in effect when I was still in the game," Stormy~ pouted.

"I know, but there isn't much we can do," Lindsay said apologetically. "Let's talk about something else. You made a couple friends during your time in the game. Did your fame ever cause any awkwardness with your friends? Did it make it harder for you to make friends? Easier?"

"Well, I'm only really famous in Japan... and I guess to some otaku here in the west," Stormy~ admitted. "To everyone here, I think I'm just another teenager who's here to have a good time. So I don't think it really affected anything."

"Do you think you'll get more fans of your music by being on the show?" Lindsay asked.

"That's what I came here for!" Stormy~ beamed. "To gain publicity and free advertising!" She turned to the camera. "You can buy my new album now! Featuring the hit single, 'Forgotten Freely'!"

"So you didn't come to play, or to win, or even to just make friends?" Lindsay asked.

"Well, I'm very glad I made some friends out here. Lester especially. I'll be sure to keep in touch with all my new friends after the show is over," Stormy~ smiled. "I may even invite them on tour with me someday. I never really thought I would win, but I did hope to not go home so early."

"Last question: Who do you want to win?" Lindsay asked.

"I hope Amelie wins," Stormy~ smiled. "The fact that she's still in the game means she must be coming out of her shell, right? I'm so proud of her."

"Thanks for your time, Stormy~" Lindsay smiled back.

"You're going in order of elimination, yes?" Zarardo asked Lindsay. "If memory serves, Yolonda is next. I think she's actually mining coal right now, even though we have the day off."

"Really? Weird," Lindsay thought aloud as she left to go investigate.

* * *

Yolonda, indeed, swung a pick against the wall deep within the shaft of the coal mine, gathering the coal into a mine cart. Fauna watched the young chef at work.

"This is still just unbelievable to me," Fauna said as she shook her head.

"I don't get what's so hard to understand here," Yolonda said dryly, not stopping with the pick. "I'm stressed out, and I can't cook anything to distract me from it, so I'm doing this instead."

"You are _willingly_ doing slave labor for these white folks!" Fauna pointed out.

"If I'm doing it willingly, it's not slave labor, it's volunteer work," Yolonda said coldly.

"You're setting black people back hundreds of years!" Fauna shouted.

"And your goal of segregating everything again isn't?" Yolonda asked condescendingly.

"I don't know what the hell happened to get you so stressed, but it needs to stop," Fauna scowled.

"Oh, yeah, let me just get right on that," Yolonda said with a roll of her eyes.

"Um... is this a bad time?" Lindsay asked as she approached the two girls.

"Lindsay?" Yolonda asked.

"Yeah, she's here to do loser interviews," Fauna explained.

"Well, I guess now's as good a time as any," Yolonda decided.

"First of all, why are you mining coal right now?" Lindsay asked. "I thought everyone had the day off."

"We do," Yolonda nodded. "I'm doing this of my own volition."

"How come?" Lindsay asked.

"I've been in stress mode basically ever since I got voted out," Yolonda said. "Mining helps me distract from that stress."

"What's got you so stressed?" Lindsay asked.

"...I'm not even fully sure myself, to be honest," Yolonda admitted. "But the jarring nature of my elimination might have something to do with it."

"That was over a week ago!" Fauna pointed out.

"Oh yeah, I take it you weren't happy about your elimination?" Lindsay asked.

"I tried to put on my best smile as I was eliminated. I wanted to lose with dignity," Yolonda answered. "I guess penting it up wasn't the best idea, because now I'm just generally angry. Being mildly claustrophobic doesn't help matters, nor does the lack of ingredients for cooking, which is what I usually do to calm myself down when I'm stressed."

"That reminds me, you used to work on this show, right?" Lindsay asked. "Which would you say is harder: playing the game, or feeding a mansion full of people every day?"

"Playing the game, no question," Yolonda said. "At least when feeding people, I am in full control of what happens. I make the food, I feed people, rinse and repeat. No problem. In this game, it doesn't matter what you do, or what precautions you take, you can still be eliminated by complete random chance!" Yolonda slammed her pick into the wall. "Trying to stay in the game is hard work, and no matter how hard you work, it doesn't always pay off. That's... that's just infuriating!"

"Please. You didn't do shit in the game," Fauna scowled. "Phoenix and I did all the work in our alliance. You just sat off to the side letting us carry you!"

"I was playing under-the-radar! I was trying not to get targeted!" Yolonda snapped. "And it worked! To my knowledge, no one mentioned my name _once_! Which is a lot more than you and Phoenix can say!"

"And yet Phoenix is still in the game. I might have been too if I didn't pull out," Fauna said as she folded her arms.

"Girls! Girls!" Lindsay cried in an attempt to break up the fight. "Last question for Yolonda: who do you want to win?"

"I don't care who wins! I care about getting out of this hellhole!" Yolonda cried.

"Okay then..." Lindsay muttered.

* * *

Kelsey remained in the girls' tent with her leg still propped up as she began to smell smoke.

"What the...?" Kelsey muttered as she turned her head to see Ronoc in the girls' cabin.

"Hey," Ronoc greeted casually.

"What are you doing here?! When did you get here?! You can't be in here!" Kelsey panicked.

"To address your concerns in reverse order," Ronoc started. "I am allowed in here so long as no girl is in a state of undress or is sleeping. I only arrived mere seconds ago. I'm here to talk to you before your interview starts."

"I didn't see you enter the tent," Kelsey pointed out.

"I'm not sure how I'm supposed to refute that," Ronoc shrugged. "But I am here, specifically to talk to you before Lindsay shows up."

"What do you want, Ronoc?" Kelsey asked expectantly.

"Money, power, women..." Ronoc chuckled. "Ah, but here comes Lindsay, so don't mind me any further."

"Kelsey?" Lindsay asked as she entered the tent. "Ooh! There you are."

"I guess it's time for my interview?" Kelsey asked. "That's what Lung Cancer over here says."

"One cigar won't give you lung cancer," Ronoc said.

"You cannot have been smoking one cigar over the span of two and a half weeks!" Kelsey said exasperatedly.

"Sure I can," Ronoc shrugged nonchalantly.

"I hate him so much," Kelsey whispered to Lindsay.

"Anyway, let's get to the questions," Lindsay offered. "First of all, how's your ankle feeling?"

"I think it's almost completely recovered. Can't say for sure," Kelsey said. "I guess in hindsight, I was lucky to be on a team and an alliance with someone who knows a thing or two about the medical field. It still sucks that I can barely do anything like this, though. I can hardly mine coal. Some people would see that as a plus, but I'm the kind of person who needs to be doing something at all times, and there isn't a lot I can do. It sucks."

"Do you think you'd still be in the game if you didn't sprain your ankle?" Lindsay asked.

"I'd like to think so, but considering how many other strategic players have ended up here unexpectedly, I think the realistic answer is 'possibly'," Kelsey responded.

"Do you think you did a good job leading your team?" Lindsay asked.

"I think I did as good of a job as I could have," Kelsey nodded. "I guess I can't really expect to be able to control so many people entirely, but when it came to challenges, I was happy to be the one to say who did what, and I don't think anyone else minded too much either. If memory serves, our first loss was luck-based, and I heard a rumor that Cordelia had been throwing challenges too, so I'd say I did a pretty good job."

"Vardaman didn't go to see you off when you were eliminated," Lindsay mentioned. "Any comments on that?"

"I couldn't begin to guess why he wouldn't go, honestly," Kelsey admitted. "But I'm sure he had a good reason. He's not the kind of guy who just flakes for no reason. Maybe he thought he was a failure in tending to my injury, just as I thought I was a failure in leading my team. Either way, I don't think he did out of any sort of spite for me."

"Last question: who do you want to win?" Lindsay asked.

"My first pick would be Vardaman. My second pick would be Tori," Kelsey answered. "Anyone else I could probably take or leave."

"Makes sense," Lindsay nodded.

"If you're looking for Cordelia, she and Naomi should be here shortly," Ronoc said as he tapped the ash off of his cigar. He took his leave of the tent.

"That guy's weird," Lindsay said to Kelsey.

"You're telling me," Kelsey remarked.

* * *

Cordelia and Naomi exited the dining tent.

"That was some good food!" Cordelia chirped.

"My compliments to the chef," Naomi nodded. "Who I think was Xingrong. I wonder what kind of meat was in those sandwiches."

"I don't know, but the mustard really sealed the deal for me," Cordelia beamed.

"True that," Naomi smiled. "Maybe I'll ask him what kind of meat that was later today."

"If he doesn't tell you, I'll _make_ him tell you," Cordelia said emptily.

Naomi simply giggled.

"I mean it," Cordelia added, her eyes vacuous.

"Well, I appreciate it," Naomi assured jovially.

The two girls were about to enter the girls' sleeping tent when Ronoc exited.

"What was he doing in there...?" Cordelia asked emotionlessly.

"Hopefully nothing weird," Naomi shuddered.

The girls entered the tent to see Lindsay waiting for them. Kelsey had begun to occupy herself by writing something down in a notebook.

"Hey girls," Lindsay greeted.

"Hey Lindsay!" Cordelia greeted energetically.

"Cordelia, it's your turn for an interview.," Lindsay said.

"Ooh, fun!" Cordelia chirped. Her eyes then went vacuous. "My first question for you: Why did you give me a six out of ten in the talent show?"

"Cordelia, sweetie, Lindsay will be asking you the questions," Naomi said calmly.

"But I need to know..." Cordelia droned.

"That's just the number that showed up in my head," Lindsay admitted. "Besides, your team won that challenge anyway, right?"

"She's right, Cordelia," Naomi said. "Besides, six rounds up to ten, right? That means she still liked it."

"I suppose..." Cordelia admitted, her eyes going back to normal.

"Can I ask the questions now?" Lindsay asked.

"I guess," Cordelia shrugged.

"Did you make as many friends as you hoped out here in Total Drama?" Lindsay asked.

"No..." Cordelia said sadly. "I'm friends with Naomi, and I'm friends with Jasper, but Vardaman betrayed me, Ephraim betrayed me, and not many people want to talk to me."

"Poor thing was so lonely before I got voted out," Naomi frowned.

"Last I saw of you, Ephraim was the only one you wanted to win," Lindsay pointed out. "When did he betray you?"

"He didn't speak to me once on the day that occurred two days after his own elimination," Cordelia said vacuously. "I thought we were friends... but he never cared..."

"Cordelia, have you ever asked him why he didn't talk to you?" Naomi asked.

"Do you know why?" Lindsay asked Naomi.

"I don't, but surely there's a reason," Naomi said.

"Because he hates me... and I hate him..." Cordelia droned.

"Why do you think no one wants to talk to you?" Lindsay asked as delicately as she could.

"Because this is a cutthroat game..." Cordelia answered. "No one comes here to make friends anymore... They all come here to stab backs and slit throats and to win a million dollars... This isn't the Total Drama I grew up on... This isn't what I wanted..."

"Hey, that's not true," Naomi said. "I came here to make friends and to have fun. I'm not that upset that I lost. And I know several others here feel the same. Lester, Stormy~, Quentin..."

"Okay, um, let's move on..." Lindsay started. "Who do you want to win this game?"

"I guess Jasper," Cordelia decided. "He may have betrayed me... but who hasn't?"

Naomi put her hand on Cordelia's shoulder.

"Get over yourself," Kelsey muttered.

"Well, time to interview Osric," Lindsay stated. "Now that I think about it, I haven't been in the boys' tent so far."

"I think he was on his way to the restroom tent, actually," Naomi said. "It's co-ed, so don't worry about that."

"Got it," Lindsay nodded as she left the tent.

* * *

Inside the bathroom tent were four stalls and two working sinks. Osric had just finished using the restroom and washed his hands, only to see Yolonda already washing hers.

"Oh, morning, Yolonda," Osric greeted. "At least I think it's morning. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I'm just washing my hands in between trips to the mine shaft," Yolonda told him. "Might get something to eat. I don't know."

"We have the day off, remember?" Osric reminded her.

"I know," Yolonda said. "But what else are we supposed to do down here? Why, oh why, couldn't they have made another Playa des Losers?"

"The mood down here does seem pretty somber overall," Osric noted. "I wonder how much better things would have been if we did get a nice resort instead of a dimly-lit mineshaft."

"A million times better, that's how much better," Yolonda spat. "I hate being underground."

"I'd prefer being under the covers," Osric chuckled. "Eh, that sucks, though, being claustrophobic down here."

"I'm hoping for some kind of returnee twist like House Party had," Yolonda said. "I still think I was unfairly eliminated."

"I won't disagree," Osric nodded. "I wonder what the fans think about it. It's interesting to hear fan reactions to each season."

"Do you follow that kind of stuff?" Yolonda asked.

"Sometimes I'll talk about Total Drama with my friends, but I don't follow any forums or anything," Osric said. "I might for this season as it airs, though."

"Osric?" Lindsay asked as she entered the restroom tent.

"Oh, time for my interview?" Osric asked. "Or something else, perhaps?" He added with a wiggle of his eyebrows. "Wait, I'm taken, now. Never mind."

"Have you forgotten that you're taken?" Lindsay asked.

"'Forgotten' is the wrong word," Osric said. "But I've been single for so long, and it's not like I get to spend much time with Ursula. I guess I'm just not used to it, so I tend to accidentally say something flirty with some of the girls down here. Force of habit, I think."

"You are pretty open about your, um, interests," Lindsay noted. "Aren't you embarrassed to be talking about that stuff, especially on TV?"

"With a last name like mine, I've learned that if you embrace that kind of stuff, people won't give you as much crap for it," Osric said resignedly.

"What's your last name?" Lindsay asked.

"...Fappington," Osric confessed.

Yolonda snorted with laughter.

"The Fappington line has gone back for centuries!" Osric insisted. "I think a Fappington girl married into the British royal family, in fact! It didn't always mean... _that_!"

"So much for embracing it," Yolonda snickered.

"I'm more comfortable talking about it with my guy friends," Osric admitted. "And neither of you are guys, though I wouldn't mind being your friends. ...Gah, did it again!"

"How does it feel going home with only two votes against you?" Lindsay asked.

"I guess it took two hidden statues to take me out, huh?" Osric said proudly. "Though it does suck that I went home pre-merge, it's a nice thought that it took so much to get me voted out. Besides, anyone can feasibly go at any time. Yolonda and I both proved that. Uh, no offense, Yolonda."

Yolonda made an annoyed grunt.

"This probably goes without asking, but who do you want to win the game?" Lindsay asked.

"Ursula, of course," Osric answered. "Other than her... Phoenix seems to be playing a good game, at least from what I remember. I assume he still is, if he's still in the game."

"I don't think I'm allowed to say," Lindsay said. "Anyway, next up is Ephraim."

"He might be working in the mines, too," Yolonda said. "I don't see him getting any crap for it."

"It's only offensive if a black person does it," Osric joked. "...By Fauna's logic, I mean! I'll shut up now before I dig this hole any deeper."

"Good call," Yolonda said with a slight leer.

* * *

Ephraim had been mining coal in the mine shaft when Dalit approached him.

"Ephraim?" Dalit asked.

"Hm? Oh, hey, Dalit," Ephraim greeted as he turned his head to see the slave girl.

"Will you marry me?" Dalit asked.

Ephraim dropped his pick onto his foot, causing him to yelp in pain.

"Are you alright... sweetie?" Dalit asked.

"Dalit..." Ephraim started as he regained his composure. "Marriage is a giant step in life. I didn't even know you felt this way about me."

"I need a last name to move to Canada," Dalit explained. "You have a last name, yes? And you are not in a dating, yes? And you telled me I am pretty before, yes? And you are strong, so you don't need me to do lots of work for you, yes? You seem like a perfect husband."

"Dalit, I'm not even close to ready to be married," Ephraim said. "I can't even financially support myself, let alone a wife. I'm only sixteen years old."

"I will live with Bijou," Dalit said. "I don't think she expects you to move in with us."

"Then why don't you take Bijou's last name?" Ephraim suggested.

"Because I'm not marrying her," Dalit explained.

"Not as a marriage thing, as an adoption thing. You could be her sister. I think. I don't know the legal technicalities here," Ephraim said.

"You very don't want me to be your wife," Dalit noticed.

"Dalit..." Ephraim sighed before giving her a slight smile. "Why don't we have a dinner date tonight? If things work out, I might consider having you as a girlfriend. If not, we can move on. How does that sound?"

"Are you truthing?" Dalit asked with a blush.

"Aw, I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Lindsay said as she arrived with a dopey grin on her face.

"I can move to Canada!" Dalit cheered.

"Whoa, slow down," Ephraim chuckled. He turned to Lindsay. "I hear you're interviewing us? I guess it's my turn."

"That's right," Lindsay nodded. "So, early on in the game, you helped Amelie become braver. She's still in the game now. Do you think you helped her make it this far?"

"It's a nice thought," Ephraim smiled. "I like to think I helped at least one person out in the game."

"On the flip side, do you think threatening Hugh hindered your own game?" Lindsay asked.

"I wouldn't call it 'threatening'," Ephraim said. "I was just warning him to back off of Amelie. I don't think that's so unreasonable. I might be remembering it wrong, but I think I was justified."

"But do you think it hindered you?" Lindsay asked.

"It's possible," Ephraim shrugged. "Given that Zarardo and Mondo also left not too long after me, I think that people were going to vote for challenge threats regardless, given the merge was coming up soon, but in this game I guess you can never know for sure. Besides, Hugh's always been a slippery guy. I guess in hindsight I shouldn't be surprised that he probably voted me out."

"I will make him our slave!" Dalit exclaimed.

"We don't have slaves in Canada, Dalit," Ephraim told her. "Besides, we're not getting married, remember?"

"Not yet," Dalit muttered with a grin.

"Last question," Lindsay started. "Who do you want to win?"

"Amelie, naturally, since she's my friend," Ephraim said. "I'd also have a lot of respect if a challenge threat won, since usually they're the biggest targets in the merge. Someone like Tori or Vardaman."

"Alright, thanks for your time, Ephraim," Lindsay smiled. "Do you know where I might be able to find Zarardo?"

"It's a small mine. I'd say that if you can't find him, he may have actually performed a disappearing act," Ephraim chuckled. "If you want my guess, try the boys' sleeping tent."

"Got it," Lindsay nodded.

* * *

Zarardo sat on a cot in the boys' sleeping tent, sifting through a deck of cards. Mondo was also lying on a cot, staring at the ceiling.

"Still not used to having lost?" Zarardo smirked.

"Nope," Mondo admitted. "Damn Jasper. I wanted him gone from the beginning, but I always held off on voting him out. What a mistake that was."

"Eh, whatever happens, at least you can say you were on Total Drama," Zarardo shrugged. "I was pissed when I got voted off too, but with time, you get over it."

"I hope you're right," Mondo said.

"I didn't leave that much earlier than you did. Trust me," Zarardo said. "Besides, someone had to go home that night. I guess I was just unlucky. And so were you. Such is the price of failure in a challenge."

Mondo groaned.

"You'll get over it," Zarardo repeated.

"Hey, Zarardo?" Lindsay asked as she entered the tent.

"Time for my interview, I take it," Zarardo deduced as he pocketed the deck of cards.

"Oh, Lindsay's interviewing us?" Mondo asked.

"Yep, in order of elimination," Zarardo nodded. "So what does the lovely lady wish to know?"

"One thing I've always wanted to know: is Zarardo your real name?" Lindsay asked. "Or is it like a stage name?"

"Haha, well, I'm a street magician, so calling it a stage name wouldn't be accurate, but it's not my real name either," Zarardo said. "Okay, that's kind of untrue. My first name is Zahid. My middle name is Gerardo. I just put them together, and BAM! The Great Zarardo was born!"

"What got you into street magic?" Lindsay asked.

"It just always looked like something fun to do," Zarardo shrugged. "I've been interested in magic since I was very young, so as a kid I looked up how to do various tricks on the internet. I developed a knack for it, and eventually took to the streets. The tips aren't much, but they're not why I do it."

"Why were you so loyal to Warwick?" Lindsay asked. "You acted like his servant. You know he's not a real king, right?"

"Not _yet_ he isn't," Zarardo chuckled. "Actually, the main reason is because I knew he'd be easy to manipulate with the right words, and would be very loyal to me because I'd be the one doing all his work. And it worked."

"Why do you think you were voted out?" Lindsay asked.

"Oh, Fauna outright told me," Zarardo said. "She apologized profusely for voting for me, and that it was Genesis' fault for tricking her. I guess Genesis thought I was a threat. I'm almost flattered."

"Last question: who do you want to win?" Lindsay asked.

"I'd honestly have to say Genesis," Zarardo said. "If I'm not going to win, I'd prefer that the person who took me out won. Good for my ego, you know?"

"Interesting," Lindsay said. "Thanks for your time."

"My pleasure," Zarardo winked. "By the way, what's that behind you?"

"Huh?" Lindsay looked behind her back. As she did, Zarardo pulled a coin from his pocket and held it out.

"This was behind your ear," Zarardo claimed.

"Whoaaaaa," Lindsay said in awe. Mondo rolled his eyes with a smirk.

* * *

Fauna was about to exit the restroom tent when she bumped into Cordelia, who was on her way into it.

"Hey, watch it!" Fauna snapped.

"No... You watch it..." Cordelia said vacuously.

"How do you do that?" Fauna shuddered.

"Do what?" Cordelia asked, her eyes now back to normal.

"That thing with your eyes," Fauna explained.

"My eyes?" Cordelia asked. "I didn't even know I was doing a thing with my eyes."

"Yeah, they go all... blank. It's weird," Fauna shuddered. "Freaks me out."

"That's mean..." Cordelia said, her eyes blank again.

"See?! Right there! That's exactly what I'm talking about!" Fauna cried as she pointed at Cordelia's eyes.

"My eyes go blank when I'm upset?" Cordelia asked. Her eyes returned to normal. "Huh. Didn't know that."

"Has no one ever told you that?" Fauna asked. "You've been doing that for as long as I've known you."

"No one's ever told me," Cordelia confirmed with a shake of her head. "Maybe I should see an optometrist."

"Yeah. Maybe," Fauna remarked.

"Hey, Fauna?" Lindsay asked as she approached the two girls. "It's time for your interview."

"Good. You're letting the POC have a voice. I like that," Fauna said.

"She interviewed me too," Cordelia mentioned.

"No one cares. You're white!" Fauna snapped. Cordelia's eyes went vacuous, but Lindsay spoke up.

"Okay, first question," Lindsay said quickly. "Were you surprised that not all of the people of color... am I allowed to call them that?"

"You are," Fauna confirmed.

"Were you surprised that not all of them wanted to team up to vote out the white people?" Lindsay finished.

"Tch. Probably more than I should have been," Fauna admitted. "The thing is that so many POC are brainwashed to believe that they have equal rights as white people. They don't see anything wrong. So it's not too surprising that not all of them wanted to join my cause."

"What rights do white people have that people of color don't?" Lindsay asked innocently.

"Ugh! There you go! Typical white people!" Fauna shouted. "Always asking for 'facts' and 'statistics'. You better put up a trigger warning for this episode! My friend LaShandra would be triggered by that."

Lindsay looked at Cordelia for a possible explanation. Cordelia merely shrugged in response.

"Let's get back to talking about the game," Lindsay suggested. "Do you regret quitting?"

"Sometimes, but I feel like it was for the best in the long run," Fauna answered. "Being in that game is one of the most stressful things I've ever done. Besides, there are still several POC left in the game who can win. It doesn't have to be me."

"Last question: who do you want to win?" Lindsay asked. "Anyone specifically?"

"Genesis," Fauna answered. "She was loyal to me, and not only is she a person of color, but she's disabled, too. She'd be an inspiration if she won."

"Thanks for your time, Fauna," Lindsay nodded.

"Wait, that's it?" Fauna asked.

"I have sixteen people to interview. I can't take up a lot of time with any of them," Lindsay said apologetically as she left.

"I'm sure," Fauna said as she folded her arms and shook her head.

"Can I go to the bathroom now?" Cordelia asked.

Fauna stepped out of the way of the restroom tent.

* * *

In the boys' sleeping tent, Quentin played on one of Lester's handheld video game consoles as Lester watched.

"So you can marry any of the girls in this game?" Quentin asked.

"Well, only the ones that join your party," Lester explained. "Which is most of them."

"Interesting," Quentin said. "Are there any strong, tough, beautiful women in this game?"

"Haha, you've got it bad for Tori, don't you?" Lester chuckled.

"Tori's an amazing woman," Quentin said dreamily. "I'm sure you feel the same about Stormy~."

"Stormy~ is pretty great," Lester nodded. "Actually, the very first girl you recruit in this game reminds me a bit of Stormy~. I might marry her in my next playthrough."

"You didn't marry her before? Are girls like Stormy~ not usually your type?" Quentin asked curiously.

"I'm not a picky man," Lester admitted. "But I can say that I've had a thing for Stormy~ ever since I laid eyes on her. She's gorgeous."

"I guess we both lucked out, huh?" Quentin chuckled. "Maybe we should set Xingrong up with someone."

"Nah, he said that he's worried more about sandwiches than women," Lester said. "Which makes no sense to me. Isn't it a woman's job to make sandwiches anyway?"

"Uhhh..." Quentin trailed off.

"Relax, just a joke," Lester chuckled. "I'm the one who makes the offensive jokes when my brother and I do Let's Plays. He can't pull off the delivery. He's too deadpan."

"Quentin?" Lindsay asked as she entered the tent.

"Oh, hey Lindsay," Quentin smiled. "Time for my interview?"

"Yup!" Lindsay confirmed. "First thing's first: you'd still be in the game if you hadn't given Tori your hidden statue. Do you regret doing that?"

"I'll admit, I do miss being in the game, and I do miss Tori," Quentin said. "But if I hadn't given her my statue, she'd be out of the game right now, and I think she deserves to win way more than I do. I'm happy to sacrifice my game for her."

"You could have won the game but given her the money," Lester suggested.

"Eh, I trust her to win more than I trust myself anyway," Quentin said. "She's way better at challenges, and winning Total Drama requires challenge skill."

"Aren't you afraid that'll make her a target in the merge?" Lindsay asked.

"She'll find a way," Quentin smiled.

"Were you nervous when the teams split up and you weren't on a team with your friend Xingrong?" Lindsay asked.

"A little bit at first," Quentin admitted. "I was kind of on the outs of my team for a while, which I guess was nice because it meant I wasn't wrapped up in the early game drama. I am glad that Kelsey got me into her alliance, though. That definitely helped me out a ton."

"Have you reconnected with Kelsey since you got voted off?" Lindsay asked.

"We chat every now and again," Quentin nodded. "I usually hang out with Lester, Xingrong, and Stormy~, though. Lester and Xingrong have been my friends since the beginning, and Stormy~ is Lester's girlfriend, so I've started getting along with her too."

"Last question," Lindsay said. "The answer to this is probably obvious, but who do you want to win?"

"Tori and Vardaman go without saying," Quentin smiled. "Also, I didn't know her well, but I think it'd be cool if Amelie won. Sounds like a good development story... or something."

"Cool," Lindsay chirped. "Next up is Mondo. Do you guys know where he went?"

"I think he said something about helping Ephraim in the mines," Lester said. "Try checking there."

* * *

Sure enough, Mondo had joined Ephraim in the mineshaft. Both were mining coal.

"So, what's new with you these days?" Mondo asked.

"Well..." Ephraim said with a resigned chuckled. "Dalit proposed to me."

"Wait, slow down," Mondo said, confused. "Dalit, the slave girl? Proposed marriage? To you?"

"Makes just as much sense in context." Ephraim said. "She said she wanted a surname so she could move to Canada, and she considers me good husband material."

"Well what'd you say?" Mondo asked.

"Obviously I said no. I'm not ready for marriage, especially with a girl I barely know," Ephraim responded. "I did promise to have a dinner date with her tonight, to calm her down. She cleans up nicely, I will admit, but like I said, I don't know her enough to be in a relationship with her."

"Well, good luck with all that," Mondo chuckled. "She seems like the volatile sort. I can only hope things turn out well for you."

"Bijou's been helping her with her temper," Ephraim said. "Besides, it can't go much worse than my date with Cordelia."

"Very true," Mondo smirked.

"Hey, Mondo," Lindsay greeted as she arrived. "Time for your interview."

"Oh, alright," Mondo said as he set his pick down into a nearby minecart.

"Okay, so, you came into this game to prove your strength, right?" Lindsay asked. "So why did you let Kelsey boss you around at first?"

"I didn't want to make myself an obvious threat right out of the gate," Mondo answered. "I knew I wanted to play strategically, and being physically strong on top of that would have made me an easy early target. So I downplayed it a bit before realizing that, had I kept that up, I wouldn't really be proving anything."

"Do you think you could have gotten Kelsey voted out if she hadn't sprained her ankle?" Lindsay asked.

"I'm not sure," Mondo admitted. "She did do a good job in leading the team, and I think my teammates might not have wanted to give that up. Still, she was a physical detriment even without injuring herself, so I might have been able to make an argument to lose her even if she hadn't sprained her ankle."

"How does it feel to be the first openly gay man on Total Drama?" Lindsay asked.

"Huh. I guess I hadn't really considered that fact," Mondo realized. "I don't like to let my sexuality define me. The way I see it, I'm just another Total Drama contestant, no different from you when you were playing. Besides, Jasper's on this season, too."

"...Last question," Lindsay said. "Who do you want to win?"

"Amelie," Mondo said. "On account of the fact that she's the only friend of mine who's still in the game. She'll have to work hard to make it, though. Let's be honest, she's not very physically, strategically, or socially inclined."

"Alright, thanks for answering my questions," Lindsay said. "Last up is Naomi, but since that should go by quickly, could you guys do me a favor and ask everyone to gather into the space in front of the Elevator of Losers for me?"

"Sure," Mondo shrugged.

"I can do that," Ephraim nodded.

"Awesome, thanks," Lindsay beamed.

* * *

Naomi entered the dining tent to find Xingrong making sandwiches.

"Heeeeeeeeey Xingrong," Naomi greeted.

"What could possibly be so important that you attempt to interrupt this most holy of rituals?!" Xingrong snapped.

"I just wanted to know what kind of meat you put in those sandwiches from earlier," Naomi said. "It was really good!"

Xingrong smirked. "Tell me, Naomi, which animals have you seen inhabiting this mine shaft?"

"...Oh my god! It's people! Xingrong's sandwiches are people! We've gotta stop him somehow!" Naomi cried.

"Cease this yelping!" Xingrong commanded. "It's bat meat, you _clamans puer_!"

"Ewwwwww, that's even worse!" Naomi complained.

"You would rather commit cannibalism than eat the meat of a flying mammal?!" Xingrong asked, disgusted.

"Bats are _icky_ ," Naomi whined.

Xingrong wore a grossed-out look on his face.

"Um, am I interrupting anything?" Lindsay asked as she entered the dining tent.

"Nay! Please, distract this freak of nature from conferring with me!" Xingrong implored.

"Oh, is it my turn for an interview?" Naomi asked as she skated up to Lindsay.

"Yup!" Lindsay confirmed. "Okay, I have to know: did you successfully keep your skates on one hundred percent of the time in this game?"

"I did!" Naomi confirmed. "I promised myself that I would, and I pulled it off!"

"Was it worth it?" Lindsay asked.

"Totally," Naomi nodded. "After all these years of wanting roller skates, I'm taking full advantage of these. The novelty is still going strong."

"You went home because Ursula caused a three-way tie by voting for Genesis instead of Phoenix," Lindsay said. "Are you mad at her for that? Even a little?"

"I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed," Naomi said. "I thought we were all finally getting along, but I guess Ursula still isn't over what happened to Osric. For the record, Osric is simultaneously flattered and uncomfortable that Ursula cares that much about him. Or did he tell you that already?"

"He didn't," Lindsay answered. "You and Vardaman seemed to get awfully close. Do you think there might be anything going on?"

"I can only dream," Naomi blushed. "He's way too cool and nice and hot to settle for someone like little ol' me. He probably sees me as just a friend. But that's fine. I like spending time with him regardless."

"So much so that you're willing to hurt yourself so he can tend to your wounds," Lindsay teased.

"Did that actually happen?!" Xingrong shouted. "My word, this girl is a madwoman! And people call _me_ insane!"

"Last question, Naomi," Lindsay said. "Who do you want to win?"

"Obviously, either Genesis, Ursula, or Vardaman," Naomi smiled. "Friends to the end!"

"Alright, that wraps up the interviews," Lindsay said. "Now, I want you two to join me and all the other voted out contestants in front of the Elevator of Losers, alright?"

"As long as she stands far, far away from me, I will comply," Xingrong said with a leer towards Naomi.

"Teehee," Naomi giggled.

* * *

The sixteen losers had gathered around the Elevator of Losers, murmuring about what Lindsay might have called them for.

"Some of us are coming back to the game. That's the only explanation," Yolonda said.

"Knowing Chris, he probably made her call us here only to tell us that there's nothing left to say. Just to mess with us," Kelsey said with a resigned smirk.

"Maybe she just wants to say goodbye to us," Stormy~ offered.

"She made it sound like too big of a deal for it to just be goodbye," Ephraim said.

"Maybe being polite _is_ a big deal to Lindsay," Naomi said.

"Alright, guys! Listen up!" Lindsay called. "While I was down here interviewing you guys, Chris asked for the ten remaining campers to make a confessional asking who they'd want to return to the game if they could only choose one person."

"Come on, returnee twist..." Zarardo muttered with a grin.

"I have a tablet with me right now," Lindsay said as she held up an electronic tablet. "And I just got an email which has those ten confessionals attached. And we're going to watch them now!"

Lindsay touched the screen a couple times, then turned it to face the sixteen losers.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Only one person, huh? That's tough. I made some nice friends. But if I had to pick one... I think Stormy~ was eliminated most unfairly, so I'd pick her.

* * *

"Does this mean I'm coming back?!" Stormy~ asked giddily.

"Wait for all of them to finish," Lindsay pouted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Naomi should not have gone home last night. She left by no fault of her own. I think she deserves to come back.

* * *

"Awww, Genesis," Naomi cooed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** There needs to be more cute single girls in this game. Of course, if I chose Stormy~ to come back, she'd probably just get mad at me for taking her statue, so I'll pick Bijou. I had nothing to do with her elimination.

* * *

"Of all the people to want me back..." Bijou shuddered. "But if it means I have a chance, I'll take it."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I don't really care that much about anyone who went home, to be honest. But I probably wouldn't have made it this far if not for Ronoc, so I'll pick him, I guess.

* * *

Ronoc silently took a puff of his cigar and grinned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** If I wanted to pick someone to come back, it'd have to be someone who'd be easy to beat again. Like that guy who got voted off first. Lyle? Luther? The video game guy.

* * *

"I'll take it," Lester shrugged.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** Yolonda, no question. She's someone I get along with and trust, and besides, her elimination was, to put it bluntly, complete bullshit.

* * *

"Amen to that," Yolonda nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Tori:** This should come as no surprise, but I'd like for Quentin to return. He sacrificed his game for me, and I cannot repay him enough for that.

* * *

"...Hey wait a minute!" Lester shouted. "Did Jasper say I was easy to beat? Rude!"

Quentin chuckled at Lester, and blushed at Tori.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** Osric! A million times, Osric! I'm still pissed that he got voted out. Besides, how great would it be if Genesis and Fauna gave up their statues for nothing? _(She snickers.)_

* * *

"I definitely wouldn't mind another shot," Osric said as he adjusted his glasses.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I reckon Kelsey's ankle oughta feel better about now. I think she deserves another shot. Besides, I figure Tori would choose Quentin anyway.

* * *

"Excellent choice, Vardaman," Kelsey said proudly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** I'd choose Zarardo. Er, not that I _need_ him or anything, but he's been loyal to me since the beginning, and I could use that.

* * *

"Whatever you say, Your Highness," Zarardo said facetiously.

"Why do you show us these?" Dalit asked.

"Here's the reason why!" Lindsay started.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Two of these confessionals will be chosen at random," Lindsay explained. "The ones that are picked will have their choice of a person to come back into the game!"

"So two of us are leaving here and returning to the game?" Lester asked.

"Only people who the campers said they want back," Lindsay clarified. "So that means, sorry, but Cordelia, Dalit, Ephraim, Fauna, Mondo, and Xingrong will for sure not be coming back."

"Oh..." Cordelia said with a vacuous look.

"I didn't want to come back anyway," Fauna shrugged.

"I will continue to spread Wichmastery to those down here!" Xingrong decided.

"God damn, are you serious?" Mondo asked, upset. "Lester, Ronoc, and Yolonda got asked back, but I didn't?"

"At least I can have a date," Dalit smiled as she inched closer to Ephraim.

"Uh, yeah," Ephraim said awkwardly.

"So how will these two random confessionals be randomized?" Ronoc asked.

"I'm putting the letters B, K, L, N, O, Q, R, S, Y, and Z into this list randomizing app," Lindsay explained. "The top two letters on the list will represent the two people who are coming back into the game. Obviously, since everyone's name begins with a different letter, you'll know who you are, okay?"

Lindsay began tapping on the tablet a couple more times. The ten losers who were eligible to return all looked anxious for the results.

"Done!" Lindsay announced. "Mondo, why don't you announce the results?"

"I guess," Mondo said as he took the tablet. "The top two letters in the list are..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"S and Z!" Mondo announced.

"That means that Stormy~ and Zarardo are officially back into the game!" Lindsay announced.

"Good job, babe," Lester winked.

"I'm back in the game?!" Stormy~ gasped excitedly. "I can't believe it! This will be great for publicity!"

"Win it for the POC, alright?" Fauna told Stormy~ and Zarardo.

"I'll do what I can," Zarardo grinned. "And I can do a lot," he added with a dark chuckle.

"Alright, I'm going back up to Neo Wawanakwa," Lindsay said as she took the tablet back from Mondo. "Stormy~ and Zarardo, stay here for today. We'll come to get you tomorrow morning, alright?"

" _Hai. Arigatou,_ Lindsay-chan," Stormy~ nodded.

"Understood. I can't wait to come back," Zarardo nodded.

"To everyone else: sorry you couldn't come back, but we'll see you in the finale!" Lindsay waved as the Elevator of Losers came down and opened its doors. Lindsay stepped in.

"Bye!" "See you!" "Later!" came the responses of several of the losers.

* * *

The Elevator of Losers surfaced and the doors opened. Lindsay stepped out and onto the dock, where Chris waited.

"So, we've got our two returnees?" Chris asked.

"Yup!" Lindsay confirmed as she handed the tablet to Chris.

"Stormy~ and Zarardo, eh? Not bad," Chris nodded as he read the results. He turned to the camera. "We've gotten a look at how the losers spend their time when they've lost, and now two of them are about to come back."

"How will Stormy~ and Zarardo affect the game?" Lindsay asked. "And who will be the first person to go home in the merge?"

"I can hardly wait to find out myself," Chris beamed.

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

None

* * *

 _A/N: I had fun with this one. It's always interesting to write for these characters that I haven't written for in a long time, and to expand on them a bit, especially with some of the earlier boots. And now the_ final _final twelve has been solidified. What are your thoughts on Stormy~ and Zarardo returning?_


	17. Ep 16: Go Tell It On The Mountain

_A/N: Alright, so my alternating between Alpha Party and Explore Party thing is no more. I may focus mainly on Alpha Party, might even keep writing it until it's finished, might occasionally drop some Explore Party in there. All I know is that I'm really feeling this one right now, and with the merge hitting to pick things up, I don't see that changing._

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, Lindsay took a brief trip down the Elevator of Losers to see what goes on with the contestants after they're voted out," Chris recapped.

"Turns out they've been mining coal to help power up the island. ...Wait, how does coal power an island?" Lindsay asked Chris accusatorily.

"They burn the coal which heats water which turns it into steam which powers the generators," Chris said quickly as Lindsay fished the shock collar remote from her pocket.

"If you say so," Lindsay said suspiciously.

"While down there, Lindsay interviewed each of the eliminated contestants," Chris continued. "Some of them have taken their loss rather well while others... not so much."

"All of them had something to say, though, and I got to learn some cool stuff about some people," Lindsay chirped. "For example, Lester and Stormy~ are dating now! And Dalit and Ephraim might be next!"

"Riveting," Chris remarked. "Anyway, in addition to all of this, it was revealed that two previously eliminated campers would be returning to the game the next day. And guess what day today is?"

"Wednesday?" Lindsay asked.

"Well, yes, but..." Chris admitted. "It's the first day of the merge! With ten campers raring to go and two more to join them, I don't doubt that things will heat up."

"How will the merge affect everyone's gameplay? Or their relationships?" Lindsay asked the camera.

"Find out, right here, on Total!" Chris started.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

The ten campers who had survived to the merge without being eliminated all sat at the firepit. It was morning, so the fire was not lit. Chris stood before them.

"I'm sure you're all wondering why I've gathered you all here this morning," Chris started.

"We're merging," Isidora responded flatly.

"Okay, wow, way to kill the buildup I was going for," Chris said, annoyed. "Yes, since it was apparently _so_ obvious to everybody, I'll just go ahead and say it: the ten of you have reached the merge."

"Well alright," Vardaman grinned.

"The Screaming Italics and Killer Boldface are no more," Chris continued. "From now on, each challenge is for individual Invincibility, and everyone will cast votes and attend elimination when it is held, including the person who won the challenge."

Hugh glanced over at the Dock of Shame as Lindsay began walking onto it.

"Hey, Chris, what's Lindsay doing?" Hugh asked.

"Ignore her," Chris insisted. "Anyway, besides that, camp life should go on as normal. Since the cabins were separated by gender from the start, no one needs to move, and eating at the mess hall has never been separated by team, so no need to worry about that either."

As Chris said this, Lindsay had raised the Elevator of Losers, entered it, and sent it back down.

"Okay, did Lindsay just vote herself off?" Ursula remarked.

"Alright! Fine!" Chris said exasperatedly. "Since you guys are so curious about what Lindsay's up to, let's go on down to the Dock of Shame to greet her for when she comes back."

"Do we have to?" Warwick whined.

"Yes," Chris said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** I never doubted I'd make the merge, though I am a bit surprised by some of the others who made it. I guess I shouldn't complain. I have a good number of allies already, and that number can only increase now that the old Italics are a factor.

 **Tori:** I would not be here now if it wasn't for the friends I've made along the way. I hope to continue to make it far with the help of my friends, as well as my own strength if need be.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Well, I got here by the skin of my teeth, and I may have to survive that way, too. Everyone on my old team wants me gone, so I'm going to have to rely on the Screaming Italics if I want a remote shot in this game.

 **Jasper:** Well, Cordelia's long gone, and Amelie no longer trusts me. I'm going to need a new girl to latch onto. Someone who will accept me as her gay best friend. There are three girls on the old Killer Boldface, so I have options here. Things will work out. They always do.

* * *

Chris led the ten campers to the Dock of Shame as Lindsay had just lowered the Elevator of Losers back underwater.

"Now, I'm sure you're all wondering what we're about to- Don't you say anything Isidora. I can see you're ready to say something," Chris warned.

Isidora mockingly held her hands up as if to claim innocence.

"Now, if you'll recall, we had each of you give a confessional asking who of the eliminated campers you would like to come back into the game," Chris said. "Well, after Lindsay finished interviewing all of the losers, she showed your confessionals to them. Afterward, using random chance, we selected two of those confessionals."

"And the selected two are returning to the game?" Amelie asked hopefully.

"That is correct," Chris confirmed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** Does this mean Osric might be coming back?! Please tell me Osric is coming back.

 **Vardaman:** It'd be nice to see Kelsey again. I really owe her an apology for votin' her out like that behind her back.

* * *

Just then, the Elevator of Losers resurfaced from the water.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: the two losers who have been given another shot at winning!" Chris announced as the doors opened.

As soon as the doors opened, the two returning contestants stepped out of the Elevator, with Lindsay trailing behind them. The ten non-returning contestants instantly broke into murmurs amongst themselves.

" _Ohayōgozaimasu_!" Stormy~ greeted.

"Please, hold your applause," Zarardo smirked.

"That's right, back in the game are Stormy~ and Zarardo," Chris confirmed. "I'm sure at least two of you are happy at this news."

"Stormy~!" Amelie cheered as she ran up and gave her friend a hug.

"Whoa!" Stormy~ gasped. "Hey, Amelie. You seem like you're in a good mood."

"I can't believe you're back," Amelie admitted as she let go of her friend and looking down.

"Believe it! I'm not running out of screentime so easily," Stormy~ said with a wink to the camera.

"Good morrow, my liege," Zarardo said fakely to Warwick.

"Zarardo! My old fool! How've you been?" Warwick said with a hearty chuckle.

"After recovering from the initial shock of being voted out, I've been well," Zarardo said. "I take it you're doing well for yourself?"

"We have much to discuss, my old friend," Warwick said as he put his arm around Zarardo's shoulder.

"So yeah, those two are back," Chris said. "Besides that and the merge happening, nothing major going on. Go about your day as you would normally, and remember that there will be a challenge later today."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Stormy~:** Yes! It's great to be back! But I shouldn't let the excitement distract me from the fact that I'm still here to win. I am _not_ going down without a fight!

 **Zarardo:** My problem before? Playing too passively. People are more intimidated by an active threat than by an a passive threat, which means they're more inclined to vote off a passive threat. Now that I've been gifted with another chance, I'm not going to play under the radar anymore.

 **Hugh:** Any artard could tell you that Stormy~ coming back is not good for me. I'm the reason she went home last time, and she's probably got it out for me thanks to that. Jasper wanted Amelie gone before, but maybe he'll settle for voting out her ally if I play my cards right. He'd freaking better!

 **Isidora:** Zarardo may not have been my pick to return, but I couldn't be happier that he's back. See, I'm thinking that if I merge my alliance with Tori's, we can hold a powerful majority, and Zarardo is going to help us not only to take out those who aren't aligned with me, but to take out the Italics who were aligned with me later down the line. Then we'll take out Phoenix and Ursula for not being part of our original three, then Warwick helps me take out Zarardo because he thinks we're engaged, and I'm in the finale with someone who's awful at challenges. I might actually have a chance here!

* * *

Amelie walked with Stormy~ to the girls' cabin.

"So, what'd I miss while I was gone?" Stormy~ asked.

"Well, after you left, Ephraim and Mondo started hanging out more," Amelie explained. "Ephraim and I ended up joining Mondo's alliance with Hugh, but then Hugh backstabbed Ephraim and is now aligned with Tori and Vardaman. I was briefly aligned with Jasper, but he backstabbed Mondo, so I don't think he's trustworthy. Basically I was scrambling for allies all throughout the last round. If the Italics had lost, I'd probably have gone home."

"But you didn't! And now you have an ally in me!" Stormy~ beamed.

"That's true," Amelie said with a small smile. "But we're going to need more than just the two of us if we want to survive."

"You said that Hugh's aligned with everyone else on the Italics, right?" Stormy~ asked.

"Everyone but Jasper," Amelie said.

"Then we're going to need to talk to the Boldface!" Stormy~ deduced.

"We have to meet five new people?" Amelie asked. "Sounds terrifying to be honest."

"Alone, perhaps," Stormy~ said. "But you've got me to help!"

Amelie smiled. "I'm definitely grateful for that. So, did anything happen with you since getting voted out?"

"You remember Lester?" Stormy~ asked.

"Kind of," Amelie admitted. "Why?"

"Just wait til you hear this," Stormy~ giggled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Stormy~ and Lester, huh? It's weird to think that people hook up after they've been voted out, but at the same time it's not. Either way, she's right about us needing the Boldface if we want to survive. But who should we talk to? Where would we even start? What if they hate us? I'm so screwed.

 **Stormy~:** Amelie still seems kind of nervous, but she's definitely come out of her shell since I left. I guess she'd have to if she's made it this far. I hope she can keep it up, because she's the only friend I've made who's still in the game with me!

* * *

Isidora, Warwick, and Zarardo met up at their usual spot at the top of the thousand-foot cliff.

"Yes, this feels right," Warwick grinned. "The royal council's all back and ready to take this game by storm!"

"It's certainly nice to be back," Zarardo smirked.

"Oh, that reminds me," Warwick added. "We're supposed to be aligned with Phoenix and Ursula now. They've got kind of a hate boner for Genesis."

"Thing is, we don't need them," Isidora said. "See, I'm friends with Tori, and she happens to have an alliance as well. Herself, Hugh, and Vardaman. I'm thinking that if we merge our alliances together, we can take the game by storm."

"I like it," Zarardo nodded. "Of course, six is half the vote here, so we will need Phoenix and Ursula, at least for now."

"So, what, are we voting for Genesis?" Warwick asked.

"Sounds like a plan to me," Zarardo nodded.

"It's an _option_ ," Isidora corrected. "If we want to gain the trust of Hugh and Vardaman, we should listen to what they want first."

"Have you forgotten that Genesis is not only an effective cockroach, but also very smart?" Zarardo leered. "Why pass on an easy opportunity to take her out?"

"Yeah, she proved the other night that she's not on our side when she refused to vote out Naomi," Warwick added.

"I don't want to rush into this too hastily," Isidora said.

"You're acting very suspicious, I must say," Zarardo said with a raised eyebrow. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were aligned with Genesis."

"She is not!" Warwick defended. "Isidora is my fiancee. She wouldn't do something like that without telling me."

"Fiancee?" Zarardo laughed.

"Yep," Isidora nodded.

"I see. And what is it that you love so much about Warwick?" Zarardo asked. "Count the reasons that you're so willing to spend the rest of your life with him."

Isidora looked nervous.

"Well...?" Warwick asked Isidora.

"You're- You're putting me on the spot!" Isidora stammered.

"Can't think of a single reason?" Zarardo asked. "I think I see your angle here."

"And what's your angle?!" Isidora snapped. "Trying to get Warwick to not trust me? Do you want allies or not?"

"I want allies whom I know I can trust," Zarardo said firmly. "And you don't seem very trustworthy right now."

"Warwick, you see how ridiculous this is, right?" Isidora asked.

"He's not dumb. He can very easily see how ridiculous you're being," Zarardo said.

"Uh... Uh..." Warwick looked back and forth at his two allies. "AHHHHH!" In a panic, he began to yell as he jumped off the thousand-foot cliff into the water below.

Zarardo leered at Isidora. "I'm onto you," he said. "Warwick might be too smitten to see your true nature, but I am most certainly not."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** What is Zarardo's problem?! I'm not even aligned with Genesis! I just wanted to look at all the options before blindly settling on a target! Is that so wrong?!

 **Zarardo:** I said I'd be playing harder, and I meant it. I will not allow any shred of doubt in my allies. That's the reason I went home, after all. I knew Genesis was sneaky, but I never expected her to turn on me. I'm not making the same mistake twice.

 **Warwick:** Well, I hope those two are happy! My suede shoes are _ruined_! _(He folds his arms and pouts.)_

* * *

Hugh, Tori, and Vardaman met up in the forest.

"Alright, so there's three of us in the alliance, and twelve of us overall," Vardaman recounted.

"Yeah, we all know we're going to need more numbers," Hugh said. "The question is who should they be?"

"I suggest Isidora's alliance," Tori said. "I trust Isidora, and her allies by extension. If memory serves, she's aligned with Warwick, Zarardo, Phoenix, and Ursula."

"Well I'll be. That's an eight-person majority right there," Vardaman pointed out.

"Yeah, but what happens when the four who aren't aligned with us get voted out?" Hugh pointed out. "Five of them and three of us. We'd be sitting ducks."

"He does make a good point," Vardaman admitted. "What about the other four?"

"That's Amelie, Genesis, Jasper, and Stormy~, right?" Hugh asked. "Well, Amelie and Stormy~ hate me, and you hate Jasper. Genesis, I can get behind, but she's only one person."

"Well... shoot, you got me there," Vardaman admitted.

"I think we should go with the majority of eight," Tori said. "Things don't necessarily have to go by team lines. For example, I don't think Isidora would keep Warwick over any of us."

"I thought they got engaged or something," Hugh pointed out.

"Really? When did that happen?" Vardaman asked.

"I dunno. I just heard about it," Hugh shrugged.

"Regardless, aligning with Isidora is our best option right now," Tori stated. "We should definitely have an open mind about Genesis, but only as a backup."

"Makes sense to me," Vardaman nodded.

"Whatever works," Hugh shrugged.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I'm glad Tori trusts Isidora n' all, but I ain't so comfortable rushin' into an alliance with a bunch of people I hardly know. Guess in the long run I don't have much of a choice, but I can't help but wonder how Tori's loyalties to Isidora compare to her loyalties with Hugh n' me. I'm definitely going to have to tread cautiously in these first couple rounds.

 **Tori:** I have little doubt that I'll be a target in the near future due to my physical strength, so I want as much security as possible in the coming rounds. I'm thankful that I have Isidora to help with that.

 **Hugh:** While those two are figuring things out with Isidora and her gang, I'm going to focus my efforts on Genesis and Stormy~. The former, from what I know about the Boldface dynamics, is desperately in need of allies, and I'd be happy to oblige. The latter probably wants me gone, so I'm definitely going to have to do some damage control.

* * *

Ursula pulled Genesis aside in the communal washrooms.

"Hey, we need to talk," Ursula said.

Genesis raised her eyebrows.

"I want to call a truce," Ursula said. "With Naomi going home because of my own paranoia, it's becoming clear to me that I'm starting to... obsess over getting rid of you. That's not what Naomi would want. She was friends with both of us, and she wanted to see us get along."

"I agree," Genesis texted. "Does this mean you're willing to be allies again? I don't want to be your enemy, Ursula."

"I don't either," Ursula admitted. "I got crazy because you backstabbed Osric, and while I still haven't completely forgiven you for that, I love my friends more than I hate you. Besides, if you can't beat them, join them, right?"

"Seems like you've put a lot of thought into this," Genesis texted. "Guess our day off has worked to the advantage of both of us."

"Guess so," Ursula chuckled.

"And hey, for what it's worth, I'm fresh out of allies, so you don't have to worry about me backstabbing you again," Genesis texted with a playful smirk.

"Hey, I'm giving you a second chance, but I still don't trust you entirely," Ursula said. "So even joking about that can and will make me wary of you."

"Fair enough," Genesis texted with a shrug.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Is Ursula stupid for dropping her grudge against me and wanting to work with me again? I'm honestly not sure. I am sure, however, that I'm definitely in a bad position right now and can use all the help I can get. I still need to get to know the Italics, but Ursula not trying to end my game by any means necessary is a welcome factor. Heck, if we get rid of Phoenix, I may actually stand a chance.

 **Ursula:** It's been eating at me ever since Naomi's elimination. The sole reason she went home is because of my grudge against Genesis. If that's not a reason to try and bury the hatchet, I don't know what is. Like I said, I still don't trust her completely, but I'm willing to give her a second chance. God help her if she blows that second chance, but I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

* * *

Phoenix entered the boys' cabin to find Jasper lying on his bunk, staring at the ceiling.

"Jasper, right?" Phoenix asked.

"That's right," Jasper confirmed. "To whom do I owe the pleasure?"

"Phoenix," Phoenix introduced. "It's weird to think that we've shared a cabin for weeks and we still have trouble remembering each other's names."

"Well, we've been on different teams for all those weeks," Jasper said. "Guess now that it's the merge we don't really have an excuse not to talk, right?"

"My thoughts exactly," Phoenix nodded. "So, what was it like on the Screaming Italics?"

"It was a roller coaster," Jasper chuckled. "Started off aligned with Cordelia and Vardaman, Cordelia kicked Vardaman out of the alliance, then Cordelia left. I ended up aligned with Ephraim, Hugh, and Mondo, but Hugh defected to Vardaman's and Tori's alliance, and Ephraim and Mondo went home. So I actually have no allies right now."

"As for me, it's been an uphill battle," Phoenix said. "Started off aligned with Fauna and Yolonda, which quickly proved ineffective, so I made my own alliance with Isidora, Osric, and Zarardo. Ursula and Warwick later joined us as Osric and Zarardo went home. The goal's been to take out Genesis, since she's a major threat, but she keeps on slipping past us every time. The fact that I was the only one last night to vote for her tells me that my allies don't really feel like listening to me, so I might as well be out of allies too."

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Jasper winked flirtatiously.

"...I don't know, am I?" Phoenix asked warily.

"Haha, relax. I'm just offering an alliance," Jasper said. "Seems like both of us could use one, and you seem like a smart guy."

"I like to think so," Phoenix said as he adjusted his glasses.

"So, Genesis, that's the mute girl, right?" Jasper asked. "And she's a major threat?"

"That's how she gets by. People always seem to forget that fact," Phoenix sighed. "Of course, she just lost her closest and possibly only ally last night, so she's ripe for the picking right now."

"Sounds good," Jasper said. "I take it you want her gone tonight?"

"If at all possible, yes," Phoenix said. "Like I said, those who I thought I could trust went behind me and voted for Naomi, so I don't know how easy it will be to get the numbers to do it."

"Stranger things have happened," Jasper said. "You should have seen how Stormy~ went home."

"Try me. I saw how Yolonda and Osric went home," Phoenix chuckled.

"Ooh, sounds like we've both got stories~" Jasper winked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** Of course, I told a handful of lies to Phoenix, but he doesn't need to know that. What's important is that I have an ally on my side, an ally who's in good with most of his old team and can take the target off of me if necessary. You can never have too many allies, especially when you've already got enemies.

 **Phoenix:** I was definitely blindsided by Naomi's elimination. I thought I had the votes to take out a vulnerable Genesis, but I guess I was wrong. What's strange is that it was Naomi who went home. I don't think Genesis was the one who convinced people to vote for her. Why would she vote out her only ally? I fear there may be something else at work.

* * *

Hugh found Stormy~ at the beach, swimming in the ocean.

"Hey, Stormy~!" Hugh called. "We need to talk!"

"Hugh-baka..." Stormy~ grumbled. She returned to shore. "You have a lot of nerve speaking to me after what you did."

"Yeah, I know. I done goofed. I get it," Hugh said dismissively. "Look, I'm sorry about the way things went down, but if I didn't do what I did, it would have been me going home. I wasn't breaking any rules, I was just being pragmatic."

"Is that your idea of an apology?" Stormy~ asked. "You don't even sound sorry for what you did."

"And yet I apologized anyway. Give me some credit," Hugh said as he folded his arms.

"Do you expect me to just forgive you cheating me out of the game just because you gave a dishonest apology?" Stormy~ asked.

"Well what do you want from me?" Hugh asked. "I messed up and I apologized for it. What else am I supposed to do, rub your back? And hey, it's not dishonest. I'll have you know that I am sorry for what I did. I'm not beating myself up over it, but I am sorry."

"Sorry because you hurt my feelings, or sorry because I can vote you out?" Stormy~ asked.

"Is that a threat?" Hugh asked. "Never took you as the type. First Ephraim and now you? Amelie must be a worse influence than I thought."

"You leave Amelie out of this!" Stormy~ frowned. "She's done nothing to you!"

"Why is everyone so protective of her, anyway?" Hugh asked. "I mean, yeah, she's cute, but that's all she has going for her. She barely contributes in challenges, she barely talks to people, and yet everyone seems to think she deserves to be here over the likes of Bijou, Kelsey, and Mondo, all of whom I can say actively tried in this game."

"She's my friend, that's why," Stormy~ scowled. "And I don't like the way you're speaking about her, Hugh-baka."

"Am I wrong?" Hugh asked. "Unless she's secretly masterminding the entire game and is playing us all for a fool, I don't think I've told a single lie about her, unless you want to stretch that joke about her being a bad influence as a lie."

"You're not doing anything to make me want to vote you off less," Stormy~ told Hugh.

"Back to the threats, I see," Hugh said as he shook his head. "Fine, I'll leave you be. But when you find yourself struggling to make ends meet in this game because your only ally is no good at the game, don't say nobody warned you."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Okay, yeah, I said some things I probably shouldn't have. I panicked, give me a break. Anyway, seems like getting Stormy~ off my back is a bust. Looks like I'll have to take the alternate route and just vote her out before she can do the same to me.

 **Stormy~:** I never never ever liked Hugh. Not at the start of the game when he forced himself into my alliance with Bijou, and not now. I'm definitely voting him out as soon as possible!

* * *

Zarardo entered the mess hall to find Phoenix eating lunch.

"Ah, good morning, Phoenix," Zarardo greeted.

"Zarardo. Boy are you a sight for sore eyes," Phoenix said.

"Oh?" Zarardo asked.

"Sit down," Phoenix coaxed as he gestured to the seat across from him. Zarardo wordlessly sat across from Phoenix. "So, the other night, we had the plan all set up to get rid of Genesis, and yet, I was apparently the only one to vote for her. I had no knowledge of any plans to blindside Naomi, and I myself also got some votes. Basically, I don't know who I can trust anymore. You and I were aligned before you were voted off, and since you weren't there the other night, I think I can trust you. What do you make of this?"

"Funny you should mention someone trying to divert the vote away from Genesis," Zarardo grinned. "Because Isidora was just trying to do that earlier this morning."

"So it was her..." Phoenix thought aloud. "So, what, do you think she and Genesis are aligned?"

"Most likely," Zarardo nodded. "Of course, seeing as how Isidora is aligned with you and me and Genesis isn't, I still think Genesis would be a better target."

"But if she is aligned with Genesis, that means that we can't get her vote or Warwick's vote against her," Phoenix said. "We can probably get Ursula to do it, but we'd need Italics votes as well. Do you think we can do it?"

"Anything's possible," Zarardo said as he revealed his Fushigi ball from seemingly out of nowhere and began playing with it.

"I don't suppose you and Stormy~ talked much after you were voted out? Maybe we can get her and Amelie's votes?" Phoenix suggested.

"I'm afraid she and I didn't speak much," Zarardo said. "She spent most of her time with Lester and Bijou from what I gathered. Did you hear she's dating Lester now?"

"I did not," Phoenix said, a bit of surprise in his voice. "Good for them."

"Anyway, as much as I want Genesis out, we'll need a Plan B if she ends up winning Invincibility," Zarardo pointed out.

"Oh, good call," Phoenix said. "How about Tori or Vardaman? They both seem like pretty big threats."

"Works for me," Zarardo nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** With my struggle to trust Isidora, and possibly Warwick, having an honest ally like Phoenix is certainly nice. I'm going to hold off on putting the target on Isidora since I think she'll work with us if Genesis goes home, but until further notice, I do not trust her and will consider the option of eliminating her if it's convenient.

 **Phoenix:** I feel weirdly alone in this game. Zarardo is honestly the person here who I trust the most. The idea of Isidora playing me makes way too much sense in hindsight, and I know Warwick's going along with whatever she's doing. Ursula... I don't have a good read on Ursula. I'll have to talk to her later, but she must have had _some_ reason to not vote for Genesis. What could that reason be?

* * *

Tori entered the girls' cabin to find Isidora there.

"Isidora. Nice to finally be able to talk to you as teammates," Tori smiled.

"Well, we merged, so there aren't really teams anymore, but I know what you're saying," Isidora smiled back.

"In light of this, I have a proposition," Tori said.

"I'd love to join your alliance," Isidora said.

"I was actually going to suggest we fuse our alliances together," Tori corrected.

"Honestly? I'm not even sure I have an alliance anymore," Isidora admitted. "Basically as soon as Zarardo came back, he accused me of working with Genesis in front of Warwick, and Warwick might believe him. If word's spread to Phoenix and Ursula, they'll definitely want nothing to do with me. And for the record, I am not working with Genesis. Basically, your alliance is the only solace I may have, I'll you'll take me."

"I see. How unfortunate," Tori said empathetically. "In any case, you are most certainly welcome in our alliance. Though I should warn you that the idea of including Genesis in our alliance has come up, and if we don't have your old allies, we may need her."

"Damned if I do, damned if I don't," Isidora sighed. "Alright, fine. Guess I don't have much of a choice, but I'll work with Genesis if need be. Honestly, I never had anything against her. It's everyone else who can't stand her."

"Didn't you tell me you didn't trust her?" Tori asked.

"I did, but at this point I don't think either of us have a choice in the matter," Isidora grumbled. "Why did Zarardo have to come back? Ronoc wouldn't have done this to me."

"I had forgotten about Ronoc," Tori mused. "Did you two end up together? If so, does Warwick know?"

"We never ended up together," Isidora insisted. "Ronoc was a creeper who just happened to want to help me out. Who was I to say no?"

"You have to admit, he is incredibly handsome," Tori said.

"You do have a boyfriend, so you probably shouldn't say stuff like that," Isidora pointed out.

"Still, if things don't work out with Warwick, Ronoc's always an option," Tori shrugged.

"Yes, thanks for reminding me that only weirdos are attracted to me," Isidora remarked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I don't know why Tori wants me to date Ronoc so badly, but it's not happening. Still, I'm glad there's a spot in her alliance for me. The fact that I'm probably going to end up aligned with Genesis by proxy is kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy, though, isn't it? Zarardo accused me of being aligned with Genesis, he drives me away from our alliance, and now I have to align with Genesis to stand a chance in the game. I pray that Warwick believes me over Zarardo.

 **Tori:** It's a shame that Isidora won't be able to bring Warwick and Zarardo into our alliance, but we should still have a decently sized group. If we can hold off for the first couple rounds, we should have the majority before too long.

* * *

Warwick found Amelie sitting alone on the edge of the Dock of Shame. He approached her and sat next to her.

"Hey, you're the girl who's always scared and unsure of herself, right?" Warwick asked.

"Um... kind of..." Amelie conceded. "Why?"

"How do you do it?!" Warwick asked. "How do you handle not knowing who to trust and feeling like you're trapped between a wall and a hard place?"

"Sitting in a corner and crying, mostly," Amelie admitted.

"Well that is _not_ befitting of a king," Warwick responded.

"Well, you can talk to me about what's bothering you," Amelie offered. "If you want. If you don't, that's fine, I just-"

"Alright, so Zarardo's back, right?" Warwick asked. "You think that'd be good for me, but the first thing he does is accuse my fiancee of manipulating me and aligning with my enemy! I want to trust her since that's what couples are supposed to do, but... Zarardo made some good points."

"Your fiancee?" Amelie asked.

"Isidora. The one who always sits out of challenges," Warwick clarified. "But don't go thinking she's lazy. She has anemia, so she can't help it."

"And what about her manipulating you?" Amelie asked.

"Ugh, I don't know," Warwick admitted. "Like I said, I want to trust her, but I also want to trust Zarardo. I have no idea what to do and it's terrifying!"

"When I'm in a situation like this, I just go with my gut," Amelie told him. "Is your gut telling you anything?"

"Well, I'm craving chimichangas right now, but I don't see how that's relevant," Warwick said.

Amelie chuckled. "What do you feel in your heart is the right idea?"

"Chimichangas aren't very good for your heart. They're incredibly greasy," Warwick said. "So, what you're saying is... _don't_ get chimichangas?"

"Well, I don't want to tell you how to play the game," Amelie said. "But I think that, deep down, you know what you really want to do."

"If I did, I wouldn't be talking to you right now," Warwick said. "But you're smarter than you seem. I'll definitely talk to you again in the future."

"Alright?" Amelie said as Warwick stood up and left.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Well, Amelie wasn't super helpful with the advice or anything, but it was nice to get that off of my chest anyway. She'll be a good temporary advisor until I can pull myself together.

 **Amelie:** My dad's a psychiatrist, so I bet he has to listen to this kind of stuff all the time. It's not easy. Granted, I don't have a degree like he does, but you'd think someone who freaks out as much as I do would know how to handle it better. I hope Warwick doesn't end up relying on me. I don't think I'd be able to handle that kind of pressure.

* * *

Genesis stood in the bathroom as her phone charged in one of the outlets when Vardaman walked in.

"Oh, sorry, am I intrudin'?" Vardaman asked.

Genesis picked up her phone and began to text.

"It's no issue. If you' have to use the bathroom, I won't mind," Genesis texted. "But I have to keep track of my phone to make sure it doesn't over-charge."

"Is that a thing?" Vardaman asked.

"Supposedly, if you leave something to keep charging after it's already fully charged, it lowers the battery life," Genesis texted. "Not sure if that's true or not, but I'm not taking any chances."

"Must be hard havin' to rely on your phone for communication," Vardaman commented. "Some people joke that teenage girls can't function without their phones, but it seems to be kind of literal in your case. Er, no offense."

"None taken," Genesis texted. "Say, you're a doctor, right? Don't suppose you know anything about muteness? Any way to fix it, perhaps?"

"'Fraid I don't know much about the subject, sorry," Vardaman admitted. "I still ain't a real doctor. Ain't even been to medical school. That's actually what I'm hopin' to spend the prize money on if I win."

"I looked into it, and supposedly there are machines which can help," Genesis texted. "But I don't know, the phone thing has worked out pretty well. I used to know some sign language to communicate when I was a child, but I've forgotten most of it, and they keep changing what the signs mean anyway, so it's a pointless language to learn if you ask me."

"What if you meet a deaf person?" Vardaman asked.

"I'll type what I want to say on my phone and then show them," Genesis texted with a shrug.

"Fair enough, I guess," Vardaman chuckled. "Say, you seem like an alright gal. Why don't you join my alliance? If you'll pardon my forwardness, I've heard things haven't really worked out for you with your old teammates."

"You heard right," Genesis texted with a silent sigh. "I was actually about to ask you if I could join, so that works out well. Who all is in your alliance?"

"Myself, Hugh, and Tori for sure," Vardaman answered. "Tori says that she might get Isidora n' her friends to join us too."

"That would be literally everyone else on the Boldface except maybe Ursula," Genesis texted with an annoyed look.

"No kiddin'?" Vardaman asked. "Well, between you n' me, I ain't exactly comfortable with letting Isidora take over the alliance like that, so if it comes down to it, I'd love to ask you to vote off some of Isidora's friends."

"So you want an alliance within the alliance," Genesis texted. "Sounds good. I'm in."

"Well alright," Vardaman grinned. "But I really did have to use the restroom, so if you'll pardon me..."

Vardaman slipped into one of the bathroom stalls. Genesis smiled to herself.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I said before that I realize that Tori can n' will be a big threat down the line. That's part of why I made a side alliance with Hugh. Genesis n' I already seem to get along, so I think I could take out Tori n' not put myself in too much danger. I hate to talk about my friend like this, but I'm here to win, same as everyone else, and Tori could easily get in the way of that if she's given the chance.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Well, things are looking up for me more and more. Turns out that being an outcast on your old team makes everyone on the other team want to include you. I know Naomi liked Vardaman, so I can use that reminder to help him trust me. He already wants a side alliance with me, so things can only look up from here. For me, at least. Vardaman will have to go sometime before the final four-ish. Man, even after everything that's happened, people _still_ underestimate me. It's great!

* * *

Ursula prepared lunch for herself in the kitchen when Jasper entered.

"Hey, you're that girl from the other team," Jasper introduced.

"My friends call me Ursula for short," Ursula snarked.

"Ooh, sassy~" Jasper smiled. "I like you. I think we should be best friends."

"Hey, I'm taken, buster," Ursula grinned.

"I'm going to assume that you know I'm gay and that you were just joking," Jasper said flatly.

"I was," Usula chuckled. "But, since both my boyfriend and my best girl friend have been voted out, I could use another good friend. Jasper, is it?"

"That's right," Jasper nodded. "And you're Ursula."

"Yeah, I just told you that," Ursula pointed out.

"I know," Jasper said casually. "So tell me, what were things like on the Boldface. Tell me everyone's dirty secrets."

"Well, Genesis is sneaky as hell, but I promised her I'd stop trying to get her out because that's partially the reason Naomi went home," Ursula admitted. "Phoenix is still going for it though. And then Isidora, Warwick, and Zarardo are a tight trio. I'd watch out for them."

"I see," Jasper smiled. "As for the Italics, we have Hugh, Tori, and Vardaman in an alliance, Amelie and Stormy~ in an alliance, and then I'm all alone. Sounds like we could both use a friend, eh?"

"Sounds like it," Ursula agreed. "You know what? I like you. We can be friends. And allies too,"

"Great," Jasper beamed. "You won't regret this."

"Attention, campers! Time for your first merge challenge!" Chris announced over the PA. "Meet up at the foot of the thousand-foot cliff."

"Shit. I just finished making this sandwich," Ursula cursed.

"Eat it on the way there," Jasper suggested.

"...That makes sense," Ursula nodded as she grabbed her sandwich and followed Jasper out of the kitchen.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** Ursula seems nice and dumb, probably, no, definitely the follower type. She'll be the perfect fag hag for the merge.

 **Ursula:** Jasper... he's a stereotype to be sure, but he seems like a fun guy. I've outgrown Phoenix, and I know I don't have a place among Warwick's crowd, so I could use another ally. One I can trust, at least.

* * *

The twelve campers met Chris and Lindsay at the foot of the thousand-foot cliff.

"Alright, campers. Today's challenge is a simple one to understand, but a hard one to execute," Chris said. "Your goal, climb the cliff face to the top."

"We get harnesses, right?" Amelie asked.

"Hah! What do you take me for?" Chris guffawed.

"Chris!" Lindsay scolded as she set off his shock collar. "Get them their harnesses!"

"We didn't order any harnesses," Chris told her. "Then again, we were supposed to order rapiers, but that proved too difficult for you, so who knows?"

"It's a perfect replica of Wawanakwa, right?" Phoenix asked. "Maybe there are some harnesses in the boathouse or something?"

Chris was about to speak up, but he noticed Lindsay poised to set off his shock collar once again. He sighed, pulled a walkie-talkie out of his pocket, and spoke into it.

"Hey, interns! Someone check for harnesses. _Apparently_ the challenge is too 'unsafe' without them," Chris reluctantly ordered. "We'll need six." Lindsay set off the collar. "Twelve! We'll need twelve!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** I'd almost pity Chris for having that shock collar if he wasn't so eager to injure us.

* * *

"While they're doing that, I have one more thing to mention," Chris said. "For this challenge, two people will be winning Invincibility: the first guy to make it to the top, and the first girl. So even if you're not the first person to the top, you can still be the first of your gender to make it, so don't give up. Unless, I don't know, you want to let yourself fall a thousand feet to your deaths. That was a joke, Lindsay. I see you're about to pull the remote out."

"So if someone of your gender makes it to the top, we're just supposed to stay there until the challenge is over?" Ursula asked.

"Basically," Chris shrugged. "We'll get you all down when the challenge is over. Any more questions?"

"Yeah, can I sit this one out?" Isidora asked. "This seems super exhausting."

"You knew what you were getting into when you signed up for this game," Chris scolded. "Anything else?"

"Do you actually have harnesses?" Hugh asked.

"Let me double check," Chris said as he pulled out the walkie talkie. "Hey, interns. Status on the harnesses?"

"Yeah, we couldn't find any," the voice on the other side answered. "We did find a bunch of spare mattresses, so if they fall, they wouldn't be at any risk of death."

"It'll do," Chris decided. "Alright, change of plans. No harnesses for you, so slipping up could lead to a fall. Have fun."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Stormy~:** I don't want to make headlines by dying before my tour in Europe! I need to be careful.

* * *

After the interns had laid the mattresses down on the sand, the twelve campers all looked up at the cliff face they were expected to climb.

"There's no time limit. The challenge will end once both winners have been crowned," Chris said. "And no one's going anywhere until the challenge is over."

"I can do this," Tori said as she began her ascent.

"Me too!" Warwick declared as he grabbed the wall. "I shall serve as an inspiration for all my future constituents!"

"Constituents are part of a democracy, not a monarchy," Phoenix pointed out. He then picked a spot on the wall and began to climb.

Genesis turned to Isidora. "I take it you're not trying?" Genesis texted. "In that case, could you hold onto my phone while I climb? I don't want to drop it and lose it, or worse, break it."

"I guess," Isidora shrugged as Genesis handed the phone to the anemic girl. Genesis give her a thumbs-up as she began to climb.

Zarardo wordlessly leered at Isidora before beginning to climb.

"I ain't sure about this," Vardaman admitted. "Nothin' against heights, but if I fall n' hurt myself, who'll tend to everyone's injuries?"

"Well, I'm doing it," Ursula decided as she began to climb. "I live for scares. Sure, I'm in actual danger here, but this is Total Drama, when am I _not_ in danger?"

"I'm definitely doing it," Hugh announced as he began climbing. "If the rest of you are too chicken to do it, that's fine. Not everyone can be as bad as I am."

"Yeah, bad at convincing everyone," Isidora remarked.

"So far we've got Tori in a pretty big lead," Chris announced. "Meanwhile, Amelie, Isidora, Jasper, Stormy~, and Vardaman have yet to grab hold of the cliff."

"This is terrifying," Amelie shuddered.

"I don't want to die and rob my fans of my music!" Stormy~ cried.

"Eh, I should probably go," Jasper decided. "You never know when you'll need Invincibility." With that, Jasper began climbing.

"While Tori maintains her lead, Warwick has fallen behind somewhat, allowing Phoenix to catch up to him," Chris announced.

"Chris, are you sure this is safe?" Lindsay asked.

"It's as safe as it can get, Lindsay," Chris assured her

As Zarardo continued to climb, he rested his foot on a loose rock, causing him to slip.

"Oh shit!" Zarardo cried. His grip tightened.

Meanwhile, the rock barely missed Ursula's head.

"Hey, watch it!" Ursula shouted.

"Yes, excuse me for almost slipping and falling, how rude of me," Zarardo retorted sardonically.

"Both of you come off it," Hugh scowled. "We're all trying to concentrate here!"

By the time Hugh finished saying this, Tori had grabbed onto a loose rock, causing her to slip and fall all the way down to the mattresses which broke her fall.

"Jeepers! You alright?" Vardaman asked her.

"I'll be fine," Tori chuckled. "Takes a lot more than a couple-hundred-foot fall to break me." With that, she stood up, cracked her neck, and started climbing again.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I ain't too sure about this challenge. Sure, Tori can take a fall from that height, but what if someone who ain't as strong as her takes a bigger fall? I'm surprised Lindsay okayed this.

 **Lindsay:** Well, I didn't want to be too difficult on Chris, because some important executive guys said I could lose my job if I did that. Besides, it's better than nothing at all to break your fall, right?

* * *

By this point, Phoenix had passed Warwick.

"Getting tired, Warwick?" Phoenix asked.

"I have sixty pounds on you!" Warwick justified. "I've got more weight to carry."

"I'll concede that you have a point," Phoenix said.

Just then, Ursula lost grip of the cliff face, causing her to fall. She fell onto Jasper, who had been climbing directly under her, causing him to fall off as well.

"Ow..." Jasper moaned.

"Hey, thanks for breaking my fall," Ursula chuckled as she got back to climbing the wall.

"Er, you alright?" Vardaman asked Jasper.

"I'll survive," Jasper groaned. "Don't think I'll be able to climb to the top though."

"See, this is why I'm glad I'm not climbing," Amelie told Stormy~.

"I know!" Stormy~ agreed. "Falling and hurting myself is one of my least favorite things to do."

"I think it's most people's least favorite thing to do," Amelie giggled.

"I can think of worse ways to die," Isidora stated.

"Please don't share," Amelie shuddered.

"Vardaman, which do you think would be more painful?" Isidora asked. "Falling off the top of the cliff without anything to break your fall, or having something heavy fall onto you from atop the cliff?"

"I don't know," Vardaman admitted. "I'm a doctor, not a physicist."

"Please stop," Amelie frowned.

By now, Genesis and Zarardo had also passed Warwick in their climb.

"Oh come on!" Warwick whined. "I'm doing my best here!"

"Effort does not equal results, I'm afraid," Zarardo told him.

"Does that mean that I'll win if I don't try?" Ursula chuckled.

"Not remotely, no," Phoenix told her. As he looked down to talk to her, he didn't see where he was placing his hand, causing him to slip and fall all the way down to the mattresses.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I guess one upside of not being able to talk is that it's easy to tune out conversation, since I know I can't join in while my hands are occupied. Thus, I'm not so easily distracted like Phoenix is. _(She adjusts her glasses with a smirk.)_

* * *

"Well, it's been about ten minutes since Phoenix dropped off, and he's climbed back onto the wall, and no one has fallen since," Chris announced as he looked at the cliff.

"You think anyone else is going to fall?" Lindsay asked.

"I hope so, but apparently I'm not allowed to show bias towards the campers I like anymore," Chris said disdainfully. "So I'm not allowed to try and knock anyone off."

"You were allowed before?" Lindsay asked.

"I got away with it, didn't I?" Chris shrugged. "The producers at the time said it was good for drama, but we got some new guys since then. New guys who... I probably shouldn't finish that sentence while I'm on camera."

"Hey, I think someone made it!" Lindsay called as she pointed to the top of the cliff.

"Huh..." Chris took some binoculars and looked to see Genesis silently fist-pumping from the top of the cliff. "And Genesis wins it for the girls!" Chris announced.

"Welp, I'm out," Ursula said as she let herself fall down to the mattresses.

"I will continue climbing," Tori decided. "It's a good workout."

"I shan't give up!" Warwick declared. "I may have been passed... multiple times... but quitters never win, and anyone can feasibly fall at any time, including those ahead of-"

"And Zarardo wins for the boys!" Chris announced.

"What?!" Warwick gasped. "No fair! I was just pumping myself up!"

"Apologies, my liege, but it's every man for himself in these challenges," Zarardo called down. "And I can't help you out if I'm voted out."

"I am not your liege," Warwick grumbled. "No one is my liege until I know what the heck's going on."

"Anyway..." Chris interrupted. "Genesis and Zarardo have both win Invincibility for the night. The other ten of you are all vulnerable to go home. You have until the normal time to vote someone out. I'll see you guys at elimination."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** Damn. If Genesis is safe, then obviously we can't vote her out. We'll have to think of an alternative. But whom?

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Honestly, I probably really needed Invincibility tonight. I don't doubt that word of my reputation has reached the Italics by now. Now, who shall I send home?

 **Stormy~:** That challenge looked really dangerous. I think Jasper might have cracked a rib. Good thing I didn't risk climbing. Cracked ribs are _not_ good for singers to have.

 **Jasper:** Eh, I'll be fine. I may have played up how much pain I was in to maybe gain the sympathy of the others who were down there. Whatever works, right?

* * *

Phoenix, Ursula, Warwick, and Zarardo all met up at the top of the cliff.

"Alright, now that we're all here, we need to discuss the vote," Zarardo stated.

"Wait, where's Isidora?" Phoenix asked.

"She's under suspicion of conspiring with Genesis," Zarardo answered. "So, until further notice, she has been kicked from the alliance."

"I see," Phoenix said. "Anyway, Zarardo and I discussed the possibility of Genesis winning invincibility, and we decided that, in that event, we should vote for Tori or Vardaman, the challenge threats."

"I say Tori," Ursula said.

"I agree," Zarardo nodded. "Vardaman didn't even attempt today's challenge because it was so dangerous. He might do that again in the future. Tori, meanwhile, seems to hold no such qualms."

"Best to get rid of her while we can, right?" Warwick added.

"You all make excellent points," Phoenix said. "I was leaning towards Vardaman, since he also seems to be a social and mental threat on top of physical, but if the rest of you want Tori gone..."

"We can always get Vardaman out next time," Ursula shrugged.

"He does make good points about Vardaman," Zarardo said. "But I still feel like Tori is the better option overall at the moment."

"I already said I'd vote for her," Phoenix said.

"So... that's it, then?" Warwick asked.

"Cool. I'm going to get a snack," Ursula decided as she left down the cliff path.

"I probably will too," Phoenix decided as he followed her.

Once Warwick and Zarardo were out of earshot, Phoenix began speaking to Ursula.

"So, what are we?" Phoenix asked. "Sorry if I seem paranoid, but after the Naomi vote, which I had no idea about, I don't know where I stand with anyone anymore."

"I don't know, honestly," Ursula said. "I'll admit, I've been kind of annoyed by your hate crush on Genesis. I know, pot meet kettle."

"It's not a hate crush," Phoenix frowned. "I just think she's a threat and should be voted out before she can do any more damage."

"Either way, I'm not going to end up doing something stupid because it means she might go home," Ursula said bluntly. "I'm going to consider other options even if Genesis isn't invincible, because it's the smart thing to do."

"But..." Phoenix stammered. He sighed and did not respond further.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Phoenix:** I came into this game promising to play with logic and only logic. It's logical to want to take out the big threats, right? I mean, yes, Tori and Vardaman are threats too, but they're more obvious threats. Genesis is the kind of threat who'll end up taking us all out if we're not careful. So it's more logical to try and vote her out. Right?

 **Zarardo:** _(He is playing with his Fushigi ball.)_ I must say, it feels nice to be back and seemingly running my old alliance. I can already tell I'm going to prefer this phase of the game to the part before I got voted out. I may end up running the whole game if things go my way. Who knows?

* * *

Genesis, Hugh, Isidora, Tori, and Vardaman all met up in the forest.

"Well, first thing's first, I'd like to introduce Genesis n' Isidora into our alliance," Vardaman smiled.

"Glad to be here," Genesis texted.

"Yeah, yeah, welcome and all that. We still need a target," Hugh pointed out.

"I'd recommend Zarardo, but he's invincible, so..." Isidora mentioned.

"I get the feeling he's saying the same thing about me," Genesis texted with a chuckle.

"I, for one, would like to target Stormy~," Hugh said. "Pretty sure she wants me gone after I got her eliminated."

"But will she get the votes to do that?" Tori asked.

"I don't see why not. She can win people over. She's extroverted and social and cute," Hugh shrugged.

"What was that last one?" Vardaman smiled.

"Social," Hugh said, avoiding eye contact as he folded his arms.

"Stormy~ could definitely be a problem for us in the future," Tori nodded.

"I think we should vote for one of the Boldface, frankly," Isidora said. "They could be an even bigger problem, I think."

"Can't be Zarardo," Vardaman mentioned. "Who else is there?"

"Phoenix, Ursula, and Warwick," Genesis texted.

"I think I could get Warwick onto our side, I'll just have to talk to him," Isidora said.

"Ursula actually made a truce with me this morning," Genesis texted. "I don't want to vote her out, at least not right away."

"Cool. Phoenix it is," Hugh grinned.

"All in agreement of Phoenix?" Vardaman asked.

"Aye," Hugh, Isidora, and Tori responded. Genesis simply nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** From what I understand, Phoenix is a real strategic type, so maybe gettin' him out early ain't the worst idea in the world. 'Sides, he didn't do too awful in the challenge either, aside from fallin' off of course, but heck, Tori did that too, n' she ain't a slouch.

 **Tori:** It's a shame that Isidora couldn't get her entire alliance to join us, but I understand why she couldn't. It may work out better for us if we don't end up with an absurdly large alliance anyway. Too many people to keep track of, plus alliances within the alliance would be inevitable. The five we have may actually be a better group than the eight we'd have if she did bring everyone else over.

* * *

Amelie and Stormy~ both sat on their respective beds in the girls' cabin.

"So, who are we going to vote for?" Amelie asked.

"I don't know," Stormy~ admitted. "There are a lot of options. You think we could get Hugh out? I'm still not very happy with him stealing my statue and using it against me."

"I know Hugh's aligned with Tori and Vardaman," Amelie noted. "That could make it hard to vote him out. What about Jasper? I don't think he's aligned with anyone."

"Didn't Jasper backstab Ephraim?" Stormy~ asked. "Yeah, sure, we could vote him out."

"I implore that you reconsider!" Warwick stated as he entered the girls' cabin.

"Are... are you allowed in here?" Amelie asked.

"The door was open, so I assumed you didn't need any privacy," Warwick shrugged. "But I come bearing news! There is talk of voting out Tori tonight, for she is a big challenge threat. Best to get her out while we can, no? I fear we may not have this option again in the future."

"But she's in an alliance," Amelie pointed out.

"Mayhaps, but I know that Phoenix, Ursula, and Zarardo will be voting for her, as well as myself," Warwick continued. "With your two votes, that's half of the campers."

"Amelie, you said that Tori's aligned with Hugh, right?" Stormy~ asked. "Getting rid of her could make it easier to vote out Hugh."

"That's true," Amelie said. "Plus, Tori doesn't seemed to like me very much."

"Glad to have you two onboard!" Warwick grinned. "Now, I shall away!"

As Warwick left, Amelie wore a thoughtful look on her face.

"You look like you're thinking about something," Stormy~ noted.

"Warwick said that, if we vote Tori, that's half the votes," Amelie said. "But what if it ties? Then what?"

"Ooh! Yolonda told me about that!" Stormy~ mentioned. "She went home because the votes tied, so Chris made everyone who _didn't_ get votes draw rocks from a back, and whoever drew the red rock went home. That person was her."

"That sounds risky," Amelie said. "What if one of us takes the red rock?"

"Ladies," Hugh greeted as he entered the cabin.

"What do you want, Hugh?" Stormy~ asked, annoyed.

"I'm just here to tell you how the votes are going down," Hugh said. "Right now the target is Phoenix. He's a big strategic threat from what I understand, and he's a part of the big Boldface alliance. Taking him out could make things a lot easier for everyone."

"I don't have to vote the same way you do. We're not aligned," Stormy~ frowned.

"Okay, just listen," Hugh scowled. "Right now we have Genesis, Isidora, me, Tori, and Vardaman voting for Phoenix. You two would be in the majority if you voted for him."

"But if we didn't, you guys would be in the minority, right?" Stormy~ leered.

"Stormy~, just hear him out," Amelie said. "He's not threatening us, and I don't think he's lying."

"Why not? He lied to you before when he was aligned with you. That's how Ephraim got voted off," Stormy~ reminded her.

"Yes, we've all made mistakes in the past," Hugh said dismissively. "But I promise I'm telling the truth right now."

"Hugh, you're the only one in this room who's lied or backstabbed someone," Stormy~ pointed out. "We have every reason to not trust you."

"Pfft. Fine. Don't come crying to me when you end up in the minority then," Hugh scoffed as he left the cabin.

Amelie and Stormy~ looked at each other.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** I still hold preference to either Isidora or Zarardo, but so far Tori is the only name I've heard, so I might as well vote how everyone else is voting so I don't look like an idiot. ...Oh my God, this game's become a democracy! I'm a sham! A sham, I say!

 **Hugh:** Amelie and Stormy~ are the only ones besides Jasper who don't seem to be taking a side in the old "big Boldface alliance" versus "big Italics alliance" thing, so I figured I'd let them know how the votes are going. Yeah, they can't stand me, but better safe than sorry, right?

 **Stormy~:** It's just like Hugh to show up uninvited to tell us how he wants us to vote. I don't know why that _baka_ is still in this game, but he's really getting on my nerves.

 **Amelie:** I understand why Stormy~ is upset at Hugh, and really, I'm probably giving him the benefit of the doubt more than I should, but I don't think he has any reason to lie to us at this point. He already knows Stormy~ doesn't like or trust him. I don't know. I'm really conflicted at this point with who to vote for.

* * *

Genesis, Isidora, Jasper, and Ursula all met up in the mess hall.

"Alright, so I'm aligned with all three of you," Ursula said. "I just wanted to sit down and see what everyone else has heard as far as the vote goes. Make sure I hear all sides of the story."

"I haven't heard anything," Jasper pouted. "It's almost as if nobody trusts me."

"Well, the big Boldface alliance is voting for Tori," Ursula said. "Which, if you think about it, makes a lot of sense. She's going to kill us in challenges if we let her stick around."

"Well, I've heard Phoenix's name come up," Genesis texted. "As you can imagine, I'm certainly on board with voting for him."

"I see merit in either option," Isidora thought aloud. "However, Phoenix has proved to be a good strategic threat and a half-decent social threat in the past. He's basically the head of the Boldface alliance."

"Mm, maybe, but what if we never get another opportunity to vote out Tori?" Jasper asked. "I, for one, don't think it's fair that someone could make it through the game simply by being stronger than everyone else, while the rest of us all try our hardest to survive."

"Maybe, but she's not infallible," Genesis texted. "Her not winning today's challenge is proof of that."

"Eh, that was probably a fluke," Ursula dismissed.

"Who's to say she can't fluke again?" Genesis texted.

"I don't think it's worth the risk," Jasper said.

"Well, we don't all have to vote the exact same way," Isidora said. "Honestly, as long as none of us are going, it shouldn't really matter."

"An excellent point," Genesis texted with a nod.

"...Ugh, damn it, that makes sense," Ursula conceded.

"I guess I can get behind that," Jasper shrugged.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** I've decided that, in the merge, I don't want to assume that anyone's out to get me. Being paranoid back in the premerge _sucked_ , and it led to someone perfectly innocent going home. So I'm going to try and hear both sides out before each vote.

 **Isidora:** I don't know when Ursula and I aligned, except maybe by proxy in Phoenix's smart people alliance, but if she wants to tell me how she's voting, I'm certainly not complaining. It could end up saving my skin in the later rounds. Who knows?

 **Jasper:** I've opted to lay a bit low during the early merge rounds, so I don't seem like an obvious schemer or threat. I had one ally right before we merged, so I don't need people remembering I'm an easy target at the moment.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I don't know why Ursula is divulging all of the other side's information to me, but I won't stop her. I take back what I said before, her dropping her grudge on me was definitely a stupid idea. For her, at least. For me, it's great. _(She grins.)_

* * *

The twelve campers all met up at the firepit for elimination. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"Campers. Welcome to your first elimination as a merged group," Chris grinned. "Same rules apply as always, except of course that you can't vote for anyone who's won Invincibility. With that said, I know you're eager to know who's safe, so let's get this show on the road."

"Zarardo."

"Genesis."

"Amelie."

"Jasper."

"Isidora."

"Vardaman."

"Warwick."

"Stormy~."

"Ursula."

"Hugh."

This left Phoenix and Tori in the bottom two.

"Understandable," Tori nodded.

"Wait, what?" Phoenix asked, nonplussed.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Tori, you have received the most votes tonight," Chris said.

"I see," Tori said as she stood up. She fished her Invincibility Statue from her pocket and handed it to Chris.

"Thank you," Chris said as he took the Statue. "Meaning that this is for you," he said as he handed the bodybuilder a marshmallow.

Phoenix's brow furrowed and his mouth fell into an open frown.

"What... why... when...?" Phoenix stammered.

"Yep, sorry Phoenix, but you're done," Chris said. "And since there are no more returnees, you're done for good."

"Ughhhh," Phoenix sighed. "I honestly probably should have seen this coming."

"If anyone wants to see Phoenix off, you can follow us to the Dock of Shame," Chris said. Everyone else can head to bed."

* * *

Phoenix, Genesis, Isidora, and Chris all came to the Dock of Shame.

"I just don't understand it," Phoenix said. "Why vote for me of all people?"

"You were the only option we could all agree on," Isidora admitted. "For what it's worth, I enjoyed our occasional conversations together. But between you and Tori, I trusted Tori a bit more."

"And I, of course, had no qualms in voting for you," Genesis texted. "But after all you've done to try and take me out, I figure that's fair."

"I guess I can't disagree with that," Phoenix sighed. "So, what, are you here to gloat?"

"Maybe," Genesis texted with a smirk. "No, to be honest, I just wanted to say 'good game'. You definitely gave me a run for my money."

"And you definitely did the same to me," Phoenix said with a resigned chuckle. "I knew from the start you'd be a major threat if we didn't take care of you early on. I don't know if it's luck or skill that's gotten you this far, but whatever it is, it's worked."

"Bit of both, honestly," Genesis texted.

"Oh, just kiss already," Isidora chuckled.

"Hilarious," Phoenix remarked.

Genesis kissed Phoenix on the cheek. Once again, he looked nonplussed.

"Why don't we let Phoenix go on that note?" Chris grinned as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors.

"Well, see you Phoenix," Isidora said with a small wave.

"See you in the finale," Genesis texted with a cheeky smile.

"Honestly, I don't doubt it," Phoenix said with a resigned chuckle.

"Genesis, Isidora, you two can head to bed now. Any last words, Phoenix?" Chris asked.

"I played the best game I could," Phoenix said. "It may not have been enough, but at least I made the merge, right?"

Genesis and Isidora left the Dock of Shame. As they did, Phoenix entered the Elevator of Losers.

"Phoenix, you have finished the game in 12th place," Chris said.

"I'm sure you told Mondo the same thing," Phoenix pointed out. "Why tell the premergers that when you knew two of them would come back?"

"...Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater. Chris turned to the camera.

"The merge has only just begun, and already the lines are starting to be drawn, and maybe even to blur," Chris said.

"He makes a good point, though," Lindsay said as she arrived on scene. "Why would you say that thing about the placements when you knew people would come back?"

"I don't know. I thought it sounded cool," Chris shrugged. "But anyway, will Warwick be able to pick a side between Isidora and Zarardo? Will Jasper's strategy of laying low pay off? Will Zarardo run the game like he thinks he may?"

"Is Tori in danger without her statue?" Lindsay asked. "Will Stormy~ help Amelie come out of her shell? Does Ursula really have any trustworthy allies?"

"I can hardly wait to find out myself," Chris beamed. "...Except for the Naomi/Vardaman thing."

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Tori:** Seems like the alliance has settled on letting Phoenix go, so I vote for Phoenix.

 **Phoenix:** I'd prefer to get rid of Vardaman, but I'd be fine with losing Tori as well, so Tori it is.

 **Vardaman:** Shame Phoenix n' I never got to really meet each other, but that's the way it goes. Sorry, Phoenix.

 **Zarardo:** Tori, you're going to make the game unwinnable if you stay around, and I happen to want to win. Alakazam! You're gone.

 **Hugh:** Phoenix always seemed like kind of a smug know-it-all, so I'll be happy to vote him off.

 **Ursula:** I don't know a lot about how this game works, but I do know that you should vote off the challenge threats in the merge. That's basic Total Drama. So I vote for Tori.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Phoenix, it was cute how you were always trying to take me out and never succeeding, but it was also a giant pain, so you can go home now.

 **Warwick:** Well, Isidora never told me how she's voting, so the only name I know of is Tori. Guess I'm voting for Tori.

 **Isidora:** While Phoenix and I have gotten along in the past, Tori's been my friend since the beginning, so I'm not going to betray her. Sorry, Phoenix.

 **Jasper:** Phoenix and Tori, huh? Well, Phoenix is my ally, and Tori isn't, so... Sorry not sorry, Tori.

 **Stormy~:** Hugh-baka can't be trusted. He's proved this before time and time again! So I'm voting for Tori.

 **Amelie:** I tried to get Stormy~ to listen to reason, but she insists on voting for Tori. I don't want to leave her feeling betrayed either, so I vote for Tori. Sorry.

* * *

 _A/N: A couple people predicted, as soon as they saw Phoenix's strategy of playing only with logic, that he would break and end up going emotional. While this was never the intention, and I never wavered from that, I guess in a way he did with him constantly targeting Genesis. Some could argue that there is logic in trying to take out a big threat to his game, while others may argue that it's more logical to consider other targets as well. I can see merit in both arguments. Either way, you can't argue that, though he did hold a lot power earlier in the game, he did start to lose it little by little as he focused more on taking out Genesis, leading to his eventual elimination._

 _As for Phoenix himself, I thought he was enjoyable enough. He was a constant strategic force and definitely one of the driving strategists of the Killer Boldface, which ended up kickstarting a lot of the plots on that team. I knew I wanted for him to make the merge, since I feel like he earned it, but I didn't want him to last too long either, for fear he might grow stale due to not having much characterization outside of strategy. Phoenix's reception seemed to range from completely neutral to mild enjoyment, which I'd say is a fair assessment given what he offered._


	18. Ep 17: The Starving Activities

_A/N: Lol remember when this fic existed? I do feel bad for the super long delay, so today's episode will be nice and long._

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, our two teams finally merged!" Chris recapped. "Amelie, Genesis, Hugh, Isidora, Jasper, Phoenix, Tori, Ursula, Vardaman, and Warwick were the ten to make it this far without being voted out."

"Also, as part of a twist from when I did loser interviews, Stormy~ and Zarardo were brought back into the game!" Lindsay added.

"No doubt they're going to add to the already-existing drama," Chris snickered.

"Why does it have to be drama, though?" Lindsay asked. "Why can't everyone just get along?"

"Yeah, this is Total _Drama_ , not Total Tea Party," Chris reminded Lindsay. "If you want to get along with someone, don't compete for a million dollars against them."

"But I've made friends on this show, and so have a lot of people," Lindsay objected.

"Not important," Chris dismissed. "With the merge afoot, people were quick to try and make connections with people from the other team. Both Hugh and Vardaman saw an opportunity to get in good with Genesis, and Jasper saw opportunities to align with both Phoenix and Ursula."

"Also, the two returnees were able to get back with their old friends," Lindsay chirped. "Stormy~ and Amelie became a duo, and Zarardo joined back into Warwick's royal council."

"In doing so, though, Zarardo's increasing wariness of any sort of suspicion led him to kick Isidora from said council, leaving Warwick torn between those he trusts the most," Chis chuckled darkly.

"That's not funny," Lindsay huffed.

"Neither are modern sitcoms, but people still watch those," Chris remarked.

"Anyway, Genesis and Zarardo both won invincibility for the night," Lindsay continued.

"The targets fell upon Tori, for being a challenge threat, and Phoenix, for his lack of connection with the alliance of Genesis, Isidora, Hugh, Tori, and Vardaman," Chris explained. "Tori got the most votes that night, but, due to Quentin giving her his hidden statue a while back, Tori was spared, leaving the stoic strategist himself as our set-in-stone 12th placer."

"It's sweet that Quentin was able to protect Tori, even after he's been eliminated," Lindsay said cheerily.

"That said, will Tori be able to survive without her hidden statue?" Chris asked the camera. "Will Warwick be able to decide who he can trust? Will Hugh prove himself to be a legit bad boy?"

"Will Stormy~ or Zarardo make any more friends now that they're back?" Lindsay asked the camera. "Will Jasper keep up his under-the-radar strategy? Will Genesis and Ursula keep the hatchet buried?"

"Find out, right here, on Total!" Chris started.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

Isidora found Warwick sitting alone at the Dock of Shame and approached him.

"Hey," Isidora said carefully. "Can we talk?"

"I don't know!" Warwick cried. "I'm absolutely torn between you and Zarardo and it's terrifying!"

"Look, I'm sorry I never really got to you about the vote last night," Isidora apologized as she sat next to Warwick on the Dock. "The only times I knew where you were, Zarardo was around, and I didn't want to start anything."

"To be honest, it may be for the best that you didn't say anything," Warwick admitted. "If you had, I'd be torn between who Zarardo wanted to vote for, and who you wanted to vote for. How do kings do it? How can someone have a queen and an advisor with two conflicting ideals and not go insane?"

"Some kings do go insane," Isidora pointed out.

"That's not helping!" Warwick cried.

"You're right, my bad," Isidora said. "But, real talk, the wisdom to determine which of two conflicting allies is right is an admirable trait in the best kings. Heck, any effective leader needs to be prepared to make tough decisions like this."

"Ugh, you're right," Warwick said. "Pardon me if I sound suspicious of you, but you're not really aligned with Genesis, are you?"

"Well..." Isidora chuckled bitterly. "After Zarardo forced me out of his alliance, I had to find allies somewhere."

"So you are?" Warwick asked, seemingly hurt.

"Only because Zarardo kicked me out in the first place," Isidora explained. "Before he did, I was never aligned with Genesis."

"And wait, what do you mean by 'Zarardo's alliance'?" Warwick asked. "It's _my_ royal council!"

"Then how was Zarardo so easily able to kick me out?" Isidora asked. "Zarardo doesn't care about your best interests. He only cares about his own."

"But... Sorry, babe, but Zarardo's been my ally from day one," Warwick said. "I can't accept that he's not working to help me."

"Do you not trust me?" Isidora asked.

"I trust you both!" Warwick explained. "Therein lies the problem."

"Well, I'm also aligned with Hugh, Tori, and Vardaman," Isidora said. "If you join my side, you'll have the numbers to stay alive."

"I'll need to hear what Zarardo has to say too," Warwick said, seemingly unsure.

"I guess that's reasonable," Isidora said.

"This isn't any fun for me, either," Warwick frowned.

"Life sucks, huh?" Isidora smirked.

"Definitely," Warwick smirked back.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Am I just unfit to be a king?! I'd ask my advisor what to do, but my advisor is part of my problem right now! Maybe I'll talk to Amelie about it. She's a good listener if nothing else.

 **Isidora:** I guess technically I don't _need_ Warwick, given the size of my current alliance, but I don't want to lose a loyal ally, especially since I can beat him in the finale, and especially since if he isn't loyal to me, he'll be loyal to my enemy. If we could just get rid of Zarardo...

* * *

Hugh sat across from Genesis as she ate breakfast.

"Alright, here's how this is going to go," Hugh grinned. "We're in an alliance, right?"

Genesis nodded, a bemused look on her face.

"Well, here's the thing," Hugh said. "Neither of us are exactly the most beloved people here on the island. We're going to need some extra security. That's why you and I are now in a side alliance of our own."

Genesis picked up her phone and began to text. "Oh, are we now?" she texted.

"Yes, we are," Hugh said. "It's either that or you basically get voted out tonight."

"Is my name going around, or is that a threat?" Genesis texted with a glare.

"Your name came up yesterday," Hugh said. "If you hadn't won the challenge, you'd probably be underground right now."

"Alright, and what exactly are you offering me that's going to keep me from being voted out?" Genesis texted.

Hugh seemed taken aback by this question.

"You're not just trying to prove your bad boy charms to me by forcing me into an alliance with you, are you?" Genesis texted. "Or, no, what I think it is is that you need me and are trying to pass it off like the reverse it true to keep your ego in check. You're afraid that Isidora will replace you in the obvious Italics trio, and you're trying to get in good with me to protect your own hide. Is that an accurate assessment?"

"Well... uh... if Isidora does replace me, that'd leave you outside of the so-called 'obvious trio' too," Hugh stammered. "And then what?"

"Well, judging by last night's vote, the other alliances seem to hold an overall majority over us," Genesis texted. "What we should be doing right now is trying to sway them into voting for each other instead of us. Not getting cliquey when we're already in a noticeably large clique."

"I... I mean... shit," Hugh swore. "How the hell did you end up on the outs of your team? You're probably the smartest person I've talked to in this game."

"Everyone thought Phoenix would make a better ally, and he wanted me gone," Genesis texted. "I may have been aligned with Fauna as well. In hindsight, that was a mistake."

"No shit. Why would you align with Fauna?" Hugh laughed.

"Not important," Genesis texted. "What is important is that we need to start taking the target off of us and onto other people."

"Amen to that," Hugh said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Should I align with Hugh? On one hand, he has a lot in common with Fauna, between the bossiness, awful social game, and the like. On the other, I could always use trustworthy allies, relatively speaking. I'm told Hugh tends to backstab people he's aligned with if he doesn't like them, so maybe getting in his good graces might not be the worst move ever.

 **Hugh:** Genesis is hot, so I had hoped that going assertive on her would spark some interest in me on her end, but damn, she's actually got a brain in her. I wanted to align with her because I thought it might get her interested in me, but now I want to align with her because she seems like she actually knows what the hell she's doing.

* * *

Zarardo found Stormy~ in the washrooms.

"Ah, Stormy~," Zarardo greeted. "I've been looking for you."

" _Nani_? _Dōshite_?" Stormy~ asked.

"You know I don't understand Japanese. Why do you respond in Japanese?" Zarardo asked.

"It adds to my charm, I think," Stormy~ responded. "Westerners love people who are bilingual, so if I add some Japanese to a conversation every once in a while, people will like me more, and I might gain some more fans of my music."

"If you say so," Zarardo said. "Anyway, I have something I need to discuss with you."

"What is it?" Stormy~ asked warily.

"Well, both of us are returnees, yes?" Zarardo asked.

"If 'returnees' are people who came back to the game after being voted off, then yes," Stormy~ answered.

"Rhetorical question, but okay," Zarardo said. "My actual question is: since returning, have you ever felt out of place or alone amongst the contestants?"

"Of course not. I have Amelie," Stormy~ smiled.

"Have you really spoken to anyone besides her?" Zarardo inquired.

"Well, Hugh, but not by choice," Stormy~ grumbled.

"Just Hugh?" Zarardo asked.

"Why do you want to know so badly?" Stormy~ asked curiously.

"Well, it's a sad truth of this game that returnees are easy targets," Zarardo explained.

" _Nani_? _Dōshite_?" Stormy~ asked.

Zarardo rolled his eyes. "Well, there are two main reasons: For one, we haven't had as much time as the others to form connections or alliances. It's more likely that we'll be on the outs than anyone else. For two, and it's a petty reason, but some people might feel like we haven't really earned our spot in the merge. Everyone else made it this far without being voted out. We were voted out and just got lucky enough to come back. People might resent that, and target us for it."

"You think so?" Stormy~ asked nervously.

"It's a definite possibility," Zarardo said. "That's why I want to offer a deal. If you keep me safe, I'll keep you safe. We won't target each other, and we'll encourage our allies not to target us."

"You're aligned with Warwick, right?" Stormy~ asked. "I'm aligned with Amelie. I think Warwick and Amelie get along. Why not merge our alliances together? Four heads are better than two."

"A great idea," Zarardo declared. "I think an alliance of four puts us ahead of a couple others, namely Jasper and Ursula. Maybe a few others."

" _Subarashī_!" Stormy~ cheered.

"Great talk, Stormy~," Zarardo nodded. "I think this deal of ours can only benefit us in the long run."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** I'll admit, I did want to merge my alliance with Stormy~'s, but I didn't want to seem too obvious about it. Leading her to want to do it was for the best. And I do think this could help us out immensely. I have noticed Genesis and Isidora hanging out with Hugh, Tori, and Vardaman. I suspect they may be aligned. Best nip that problem in the bud as soon as we can.

 **Stormy~:** This is awesome! I just gained two more allies who could vote for Hugh. Zarardo did say he wants to do something about that big alliance, and Hugh is part of that big alliance, so cool! I think we'll need to get Jasper and Ursula on our side, though. I don't know how they'd feel about voting for Hugh. I may have to ask them.

* * *

Ursula lay face up on her bunk bed as Jasper sat down on it.

"...You think Genesis and Isidora are really aligned with us?" Ursula asked.

"I don't see why not," Jasper said. "We're awesome."

"I'm serious," Ursula said. "When I held that alliance meeting yesterday, I got the feeling that they weren't really all that invested in it."

"Well, you know them better than I do. Is that in-character for them?" Jasper asked.

"I mean... I guess? I don't know," Ursula said unsurely. "Isidora does seem pretty disinterested in a lot of things, but I don't think that strategy is one of them. And I know Genesis strategizes all the time."

"Well, if they don't want to align with us, it's their loss," Jasper said. "There's no such thing as too many allies in this game."

"It's just, reconciling with Genesis was a big step for me," Ursula said. "At least I feel like it was. So if she's not going to accept that... I don't know. I'm mostly just scared and confused right now. And I'm usually the one who goes scaring people."

"Eh, it'll be fine," Jasper said dismissively.

"You don't seem all that worried," Ursula noted, seemingly annoyed.

"Why should I be? We're both safe," Jasper shrugged.

"What makes you so sure?" Ursula asked warily.

"Well, think about it," Jasper said. "Genesis, Isidora, Hugh, Tori, and Vardaman are all in an alliance. That's terrifying. People are going to be targeting them. Meanwhile, we have people like Amelie, Stormy~, Warwick, and Zarardo, who are obvious targets for the alliance to try and take out. Ursula, if you and I just sit back, don't step on any toes, and let everyone else cut each other's throats, we'll be guaranteed a single-digit placement at worst."

"I do like watching people cut each other's throats," Ursula snickered. "You know, maybe you're right. No real need to worry. I said I'd start having fun in this game, so let's have some fun!"

"That's what I like to hear," Jasper winked.

"Wanna go jumpscare Amelie or something?" Ursula grinned.

"We're not stepping on any toes, remember?" Jasper reminded her.

"Well that's no fun," Ursula pouted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** I gained kind of a reputation back when I was on the Italics. Right now I just need to be as harmless as possible and just let things happen. I'm hoping that everyone kind of forgets that I play hard, or at least think that I've lost my mojo. Implying I could ever lose my mojo. _(He chuckles.)_

 **Ursula:** Man, lying low is boring! It's good for not getting voted off, but I want to scare the pants off of someone right now, not just... sit around and do nothing!

* * *

Amelie paced nervously around the campground when she was approached by Vardaman.

"Howdy, Amelie. You alright?" Vardaman asked. "You seem stressed."

"And that's not normal?" Amelie chuckled nervously. "Really, I'm not worried about anything in particular. Just a bit homesick."

"Aw, I get that," Vardaman nodded. "This is the longest I've been away from my family."

"Same here," Amelie responded. "But I'm here at my daddy's insistence, and I don't think he'd recommend this for me if he thought it was something I can't handle. I still don't think I'm doing very well, but... I don't know."

"Why'd your pa insist you play the game?" Vardaman asked.

"He's a psychiatrist," Amelie explained. "He thought that me being in a constantly social situation would bring me out of my shell."

"Well, I think it's working," Vardaman smiled. "You've been a lot more open since you first got here, I've noticed."

"You think so?" Amelie asked. "What about your family? What are they like?"

"Well, I live on a farm, and we all work pretty hard on it," Vardaman answered. "Pa's a stern man, but he's fair. Ma's a warm, caring woman. My sister Jewel's a character; I think she'd make it on this show if she were young enough. She's a flamboyant type, real flirty. My brother Cassius, on the other hand, is quite the opposite. Strong, silent type, but he's got a sense of humor to him."

"Oh. My family's not as interesting as yours," Amelie admitted. "Your dad sounds kind of like mine. My mom's really protective of me, and sometimes she and my dad can't agree on some things regarding me. I don't have any siblings, so it's just me."

"Well, I'm sure your parents are proud of how many friends you've made," Vardaman assured her.

"It hasn't been that many, has it?" Amelie asked.

"Well, you're close with Ephraim, Mondo, and Stormy~, right?" Vardaman asked. "Plus, you get along with others, right? You're talkin' to me no problem."

"I guess that's true," Amelie said. "Thanks, Vardaman. I really appreciated this talk."

"Don't mention it," Vardaman grinned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I think that, over time, I've warmed up to some of the people here. Maybe because I've spent so much time with them, they seem more familiar to me. Funny how that works.

 **Vardaman:** Amelie was pretty hard to talk to when the game started a couple weeks ago, I'll admit, but she does seem to be easin' up. Good for her.

* * *

Isidora sat on her usual rock reading a book when Tori approached her.

"Good morning, Isidora," Tori greeted.

"Oh, hey," Isidora greeted back as she turned her attention away from her book and to her friend.

Tori took a closer look at Isidora's book. "Is this a children's book?"

"Yeah, I guess my brother slipped it in there as a joke or something," Isidora shrugged. "It's about a space princess or something. It's not very good."

"I see," Tori nodded.

"Hey, you used to be the brainy type, right?" Isidora asked. "Did you ever read much?"

"Not particularly," Tori answered. "I excelled at school, and still do to a lesser extent, but I never found myself reading much."

"Then how'd you pass the time?" Isidora asked. "Pardon me if I sound presumptuous, but you don't strike me as the type to go out socializing."

"I'm not a very social person, true," Tori chuckled. "Actually, I spent my time drawing. I was never particularly great at it, but it was a fun hobby."

"You ever draw nowadays?" Isidora asked.

"No time. Training to be done," Tori said.

"You're not training right now," Isidora noticed.

"Well, getting votes yesterday made me realize that, at this point in the game, I'm likely going to be targeted for my strength," Tori explained. "So I figured I should work out my social muscles, so to speak. Perhaps if people like me more, they'll be less inclined to vote me out."

"Just try not to be too likable. Then people might see you as a bigger threat," Isidora pointed out.

"No one's targeted Vardaman yet, have they?" Tori pointed out in return.

"I don't know, I wasn't on your team," Isidora shrugged. "But now that we've merged, that could very well change."

"Are you saying I should try and shift the target to him?" Tori asked.

"What? No," Isidora responded, bemused. "Ideally, the targets should lie on people who aren't us, Vardaman, Hugh, or Genesis."

"You don't mind Hugh or Genesis?" Tori asked.

"Genesis isn't super trustworthy, but she's not really obnoxious or anything," Isidora said. "As for Hugh... okay, yeah, he's pretty grating, but he's also a number in our favor, so I'm willing to put up with him as long as he's on our side."

"Fair enough," Tori decided. "Have you heard anything about tonight's vote?"

"I'm in favor of losing Zarardo, personally, but I haven't heard anyone else's opinion on the vote," Isidora said. "That reminds me, I offered Warwick a spot in our alliance. Getting rid of Zarardo could make Warwick want to join our side."

"Warwick is the biggest enigma to me," Tori said.

"How so?" Isidora asked.

"I'm just surprised that someone as no-nonsense as yourself is able to put up with his... well, nonsense," Tori said.

"Eh... you grow numb to it after a while," Isidora said.

"I suppose you'd have to if you're to rule his kingdom," Tori chuckled.

"If he can actually find it in him to win this game, I'll rule his kingdom _and_ mother his children," Isidora remarked.

"I'll hold you to that," Tori smirked.

Isidora rolled her eyes with an amused scoff.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I have to say, I'm glad Tori and I hit it off on day one. If we hadn't, I probably wouldn't have any allies right now. Plus, you know, she's pretty cool to talk to when you really get to know her.

 **Tori:** All joking aside, I do think that, deep down, Isidora does consider Warwick a friend, and is just too proud to admit it. I suppose stranger friendships have formed on this show.

* * *

Genesis stayed by her charging phone in the washroom when Jasper walked in.

"Oh, hey, Genesis!" Jasper greeted enthusiastically. "I've been wanting to talk to you."

Genesis gave Jasper a quizzical look.

"So, like, you and Ursula are cool now, right?" Jasper asked.

Genesis gave an unsure shrug and made a "so-so" gesture with her hand.

"I ask for everyone's sake. I don't want her getting paranoid and irrational. I'm sure you know well enough what that's like," Jasper explained.

Genesis picked up her phone and began typing to it.

"Why do I get the feeling there's more to this than just wanting to keep Ursula in check?" Genesis texted.

"Ooh, you're a perceptive one~" Jasper said. "Well, I was hoping I could ask you for an alliance."

Genesis raised an eyebrow at Jasper.

"I know you're aligned with Vardaman and the rest," Jasper continued. "Problem is, Vardaman hates me, so I don't think he'd be willing to accept Ursula or me if we asked. He didn't even accept Amelie. But if we align with you, then we're hoping that you can... you know... direct the target off of us. And in return, of course, we'll vote how you want, we won't vote for you, and we'll do what we can to keep others from voting for you."

"I think I can manage that," Genesis texted with a nod. "Sounds like a deal."

"Great!" Jasper beamed. "You won't regret this. By the way, have you heard any names come up as potential targets?"

Genesis shook her head.

"Well, if my or Ursula's names come up, be sure to let me know, 'kay? I'd do the same for you," Jasper winked.

"I'll keep that in mind," Genesis texted.

"You're not super talkative today," Jasper noted. "Or I guess it'd be 'text-ative' in your case."

"Phone's really low on battery," Genesis texted. "Need to charge it."

"Understandable," Jasper nodded. "But hey, thanks again for agreeing to this. You won't regret it, I promise."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** Though I am trying to stay off of people's radars, I'm not going to become a _complete_ non-factor in the game. If I go too under-the-radar, people might consider me untrustworthy. The reason I asked Genesis of all people for an alliance is because I figure she'd be the most desperate for allies, and thus, the most likely to say yes. Quelling Ursula's nerves would just be just an added bonus.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Gee, all the guys from Screaming Italics really want to be my ally, don't they? Either their innate male desire to protect seemingly-weak-and-helpless women is kicking in, or it's all just a coincidence. If it means I'm less likely to go home, I'll take it. I don't trust Jasper as far as I can throw him, of course, but I figure that if I accept his deal, there's at least a chance he'll go through with it.

* * *

Warwick and Zarardo met up at their usual spot at the top of the cliff.

"So, my liege, how's the day been treating you so far?" Zarardo asked.

"Eh, been worse," Warwick shrugged.

"You seem to be less energetic these days than when I left you," Zarardo noted.

"The whole thing with Isidora doesn't really help," Warwick admitted.

"Losing her is unfortunate, yes, but a necessary precaution we must take all the same," Zarardo said. "However, I come bearing good news."

"You found pizza?!" Warwick gasped.

"I wish," Zarardo chuckled. "Actually, I found us some new allies."

"Oh? Whom?" Warwick asked.

"Amelie and Stormy~," Zarardo answered. "I haven't discussed it with Amelie yet, but Stormy~ and I talked it over, and we both feel like having the four of us work together will benefit us all in the long run."

"Amelie and Stormy~, huh?" Warwick asked. "I've never spoken to Stormy~ before, but I trust your judgment with her. I have spoken to Amelie before, and I think she and I get along well enough."

"Wondrous," Zarardo grinned. "Now, I don't have any confirmation of this, but I suspect Genesis and Isidora may be aligning themselves with Hugh, Tori, and Vardaman. An alliance of five when there are eleven of us left is a scary, scary thing."

"So you think we should vote for Isidora?" Warwick asked, annoyance present in his tone.

"Actually, no," Zarardo said as he shook his head. He procured his Fushigi ball and began to play with it. "Isidora is no threat to us. She is sickly and unable to perform well in challenges, and her social skills leave much to be desired. She needs that alliance more than it needs her. I think that a lot of the same can be said for Hugh. I think we should focus our efforts on Genesis, Tori, and Vardaman, in whatever particular order is most convenient with how the others wish to vote. Genesis is smart, Tori is strong, and Vardaman is both. They're the real threats here."

"That does make a lot of sense," Warwick nodded.

"The hardest part here will be getting Jasper and Ursula to listen to us," Zarardo said. "And even then, we've both been allies with Ursula in the past, so I don't think getting her to listen should be too difficult."

"Ursula's a fickle one," Warwick pointed out.

"Maybe, but we can make it work," Zarardo smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** I sense that Warwick still hasn't completely detached himself from Isidora. I suppose it'd be unreasonable for me to expect him to so quickly, but it's still irksome to know that there's a chance that he wants to take her side here. Maybe we _should_ vote out Isidora sooner than later...

 **Warwick:** Zarardo raises some good points about how threatening that alliance is... but you know what? Why try and beat them when I can try and join them? I'm sure Isidora would put in a good word for me, and if I did join them, that's a nice unified majority right there. They'd be utterly foolish not to accept me!

* * *

Amelie found Hugh outside, idly tossing one of his juggling balls against the washroom building wall repeatedly.

"Um... Hugh?" Amelie asked.

"Oh hey, it's Little Miss Tagalong," Hugh commented. "What do you want?"

"I... I just wanted to talk to you," Amelie said.

"About what?" Hugh glared. "It's clear you don't want to work with me."

"Um, Stormy~ is the one who doesn't want to work with you," Amelie mumbled.

"What was that?" Hugh asked.

"Stormy~ is the one who doesn't like you," Amelie repeated, louder this time.

"And you do?" Hugh scoffed.

"Well... I don't _hate_ you," Amelie admitted. "You're a jerk, sure, but you did try to reach out to us. That's a lot more than a lot of people here have done."

"What are you getting at?" Hugh asked.

"I don't expect you and Stormy~ to start working together, but I do want you two to get along," Amelie explained.

"Why do you care?" Hugh asked. "It's none of your business how Stormy~ and I feel about each other."

"Well..." Amelie stammered.

"Oh! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Hugh realized.

"W-What?!" Amelie gasped.

"You know that I have more connections than you and Stormy~," Hugh grinned. "You know that I have more power than you two. So you're trying to get me and Stormy~ to get along so I'll be less inclined to target you."

"U-Um... w-w-well..." Amelie stuttered.

"I respect that," Hugh said as he pocketed his juggling ball. "Never took you as the type to try and manipulate people like that."

Amelie cocked her head, confused.

"Let's get one thing straight: I respect that you have the balls to try and manipulate me," Hugh clarified. "The fact that you did it makes me trust you even less. Shame, too. We probably could have worked together in a better world where Ephraim didn't dictate all your opinions of me."

"Well, you may have an alliance, but six still outnumbers five," Amelie pouted. "And I think everyone realizes it."

Hugh suddenly wore an anxious look on his face.

"I just don't get why you can't be nice to people," Amelie said.

"Because I'm a bad boy," Hugh insisted.

"If you say so," Amelie muttered as she left Hugh alone.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Where does Amelie get off trying to act superior to me? Er, doesn't matter. I am still aligned with Jasper. I know he won't vote me out, and I think Ursula will follow suit, because Ursula's basically the Amelie of the Boldface, since she can only really function when someone else is playing the game for her. Amelie doesn't know what she's saying.

 **Amelie:** I just didn't want to see Stormy~ so upset whenever she's around Hugh. But it's never that simple with guys like Hugh. If only I wasn't so nervous, I could have just explained myself. But then he said he respected what I said, and then he said he didn't... Hugh confuses me.

* * *

Ursula sat on one of the headstones in the pet cemetery, staring at the sky above her.

"You know, for a supposed summer camp, there really isn't a lot to do here," Ursula noted.

"You could always go out and meet people," Vardaman suggested as he approached her.

"Oh hey, it's Vardaman," Ursula pointed out. "What are you doing here?"

"I'll admit, there was a part of me that was curious to know if there were any actual pets in here," Vardaman said.

"None that I'm aware of," Ursula shrugged. "Why? You want to do some weird medical experiments on them?"

"I ain't even a doctor yet, let alone a crazy one," Vardaman said. "'Sides, touching an animal corpse can't be sanitary."

"That hasn't stopped Isidora from dating Warwick," Ursula chuckled.

"I could say the same about you and Osric," Vardaman teased.

"Well I could say the same about you and Naomi," Ursula retorted.

"N-Naomi and I aren't..." Vardaman blushed.

"No, but it's super obvious you two are crazy about each other," Ursula said casually.

"You think so?" Vardaman asked.

"Please. When Naomi wasn't trying to get me to ease up on Genesis, she was gushing about you," Ursula said. "And even though I don't know you well, you are _terrible_ at hiding your feelings for her."

"You think the two of us would work out, Naomi and I?" Vardaman asked.

"I could see it," Ursula smiled. "That reminds me, did anyone hook up on the Italics? Because I ended up with Osric, and I know Isidora and Warwick are a thing."

"Quentin and Tori got together, and good for them," Vardaman nodded. "Not sure where Lester falls, but I hear Stormy~'s dating him."

"You have to wonder what it is about this game that gets people hooking up," Ursula said.

"Probably the fact that we're all hormonal teenagers," Vardaman decided.

"My loins are constantly ablaze, yes," Ursula joked.

"Guess you and Osric are a perfect match, then," Vardaman joked back.

"Oh, whatever!" Ursula laughed playfully.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** You know, with both of us being friends with Naomi, I'm surprised it took this long for me to have an actual conversation with Vardaman. But he seems like a good guy. I'd fully support him and Naomi getting together.

 **Vardaman:** There's no doubt in my mind that folks're going to see me as a threat in the not-too-distant future, assuming they don't already. The more connections I make with people, the better. 'Sides, Ursula's an alright kid. I could be her friend outside of the game.

* * *

Stormy~ strolled by herself through the forest when she came across Tori doing push-ups.

" _Ohayōgozaimasu_!" Stormy~ greeted.

"Good morning," Tori responded, not wavering from her workout.

"You seem very focused," Stormy~ noted.

"I take my workouts very seriously," Tori nodded.

"It shows," Stormy~ smiled. "I don't know if you know this, but I go to the gym once a week to keep up my skinny physique."

"That's good to hear," Tori said. "People don't work out enough these days. It disgusts me to see people living such unhealthy lifestyles."

"The gym I go to is actually pretty famous because I go to it," Stormy~ said cheerily. "They actually sell my CDs there too! People like to listen to my music when they work out."

"It sounds like you make more money going to that gym than you spend," Tori smirked.

"I make a lot of money regardless," Stormy~ admitted. "It's all the same to me. But it's always nice getting more fans. Do you want to listen to my music right now?"

"Sure," Tori said.

"Eeeeeee!" Stormy~ squealed in excitement as she removed her headphones and put them on Tori's head.

Tori continued her workout. She made a bit of a face.

"Can't say I'm a fan," Tori admitted.

Stormy~'s mouth fell wide open. "You've barely listened to it!"

"I don't really care for what I hear so far," Tori said. "I imagine the rest of it is largely similar."

"How rude!" Stormy~ frowned as she took her headphones back from Tori.

"Sorry. I guess we have differing tastes in music," Tori said.

"Well, what do you listen to, then?" Stormy~ pouted.

"I'm a fan of rap," Tori said. "It's good music to work out to."

"I don't even know how to respond to that," Stormy~ said as she shook her head.

"They have rap in Japan, don't they?" Tori asked.

"They do, but I don't listen to it. I'm busy making my own music," Stormy~ said.

"Do you listen to any music but your own?" Tori asked.

"Not anymore," Stormy~ said. "I don't want to be too influenced by anyone else. I want to come up with my own stuff."

"I guess that's fair," Tori said as she stood up and began stretching her arms.

Stormy~ frowned. "Nobody's ever told me they didn't like my music before," she said.

"Well, music's largely subjective," Tori said. "No song's going to be universally loved."

Stormy~ held her pout as she walked away.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Stormy~:** I came onto this show to gain _more_ fans of my music, not to be told that my music isn't any good. This is so new to me. _(She pouts.)_

 **Tori:** Japanese pop music just isn't my thing. I'm not going to apologize for holding an opinion. If Stormy~'s going to be so immature about this, then that's her prerogative.

* * *

Amelie sat in a washroom stall, for reasons that go without saying. She looked down at the stall next to her; the bright pink sandals of the person next to her could only belong to Jasper.

Jasper stood up, flushed, and exited the stall. As he stood up, a folded-up piece of paper fell to the floor, which he didn't seem to notice.

Amelie eyed the piece of paper. "Should I...?" she asked herself. "Oh, he's lied to me lots of times before. I think I'm allowed a peek."

Amelie reached over to the paper, grabbed it, and unfolded it. She muttered the contents of the letter aloud to herself.

"Dear Jasper," Amelie read. "While we're still not entirely sure about your strategy going into Total Drama, we still wish you the best of luck in your endeavors. We've seen the show with you, so we know how hard it can be, but we know you're smart enough to do it. Do remember to be careful. If people find out that you're pretending to be gay, it may ruffle some feathers."

Amelie's eyes went wide. She continued reading.

"We hope you're doing well. We miss you dearly, as parents do, but we know you've been looking forward to this for a long time, and we're happy to know that you're happy. Remember to have fun, and that we love you. Love, Mom and Dad..."

Amelie's hands shook as she held the paper in front of her. "Jasper's only _pretending_ to be gay? What?!"

* * *

Jasper relaxed on his bed when Amelie marched into in boys' cabin.

"Jasper!" she shouted as she held the piece of paper up.

" _That's_ where that went!" Jasper gasped as he stood up and took it back from Amelie. "I was worried I'd lost this. Thanks for finding it for me."

"Don't dodge the issue at hand here," Amelie scowled.

"What issue?" Jasper asked.

"I read this note," Amelie explained. "What's this about you faking being gay?!"

"Hey, you should mind your own business," Jasper frowned. "This was not yours to read. If anything, I should be the one who's mad at you. Why are you so mad, anyway?"

"Are you joking?!" Amelie cried. "Jasper! Do you have any idea how messed up this is?!"

"Evidently not," Jasper said as he folded his paper back up and put it back in his pocket. "I figured that, if people thought I was gay, they'd be more forgiving of my shadier moves, and less inclined to vote me out."

"How does that even work?" Amelie scoffed.

"People are a lot more lenient towards gay people," Jasper said. "Gay people can say or do just about whatever the hell they want, and people _will_ defend it. I could be the biggest asshole in the world, but if I'm gay, at least people will go "Yaaaas queen, slay!" instead of getting mad at me. Tell me I'm wrong."

"How can you be so calm about this?!" Amelie shouted.

"Because it's not a big deal?" Jasper shrugged. "You still have yet to explain to me why it is."

"People have been thrown out of their homes for being gay!" Amelie explained. "It's not something to take lightly!"

"Please. Nobody does that anymore," Jasper spat. "If someone did that nowadays, they'd get their ass kicked."

Amelie sighed. "My friend Olive was thrown out of her house last year for coming out as _bi_ ," she said.

"And how did people react to that?" Jasper asked.

"That's not the point!" Amelie shouted. "The point is that LGBT people _are_ still persecuted, and that faking it in order to get ahead in the game... it's repulsive!"

"You're making too big a deal out of this," Jasper frowned as he shook his head. "I'm going to get some lunch. Please don't follow me."

Jasper exited the boys' cabin. Amelie buried her face in a nearby pillow and shouted into it.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Wow... I can't believe I just... _snapped_ like that. I can't remember the last time I've been this angry at someone. I knew something was off about Jasper, but... ugh! I never imagined he'd be so awful!

 **Jasper:** Welp, isn't that ironic? I keep that note in my pocket to keep people from finding it, and then I guess it falls out and someone finds it. This is not good for my whole "lying low" thing. At all. I'm going to have to do something about Amelie soon, aren't I? Nosy little bitch.

* * *

The eleven campers met up in front of the forest with Chris and Lindsay.

"Afternoon, campers!" Chris greeted. "Today's challenge makes great use of the fact that the forest takes up a third of the island!"

"We have been using this place a lot," Zarardo noted.

"Like I said, it's a third of the island," Chris said. "Besides, there's a lot that can be done here."

"And what are we doing?" Hugh asked.

"First of all, each of you will be fitted with these bracelets," Chris said as Lindsay opened a briefcase in front of the campers, which contained eleven futuristic bracelets. Chris took a bracelet and strapped it onto Vardaman's right wrist.

"Looks like a weird kind of wristwatch or something," Ursula said as Chris strapped a bracelet onto her wrist. She eyed a part of the watch which had a number 3 on it in LCD lights.

"Here's how the challenge will work," Chris said as he stood back, leaving Lindsay to hand out the rest of the bracelets. "On my go, you will have ten minutes to flee into the forest. Then, when the challenge begins, you will set out and find each other. Your goal is to be the last person standing. Each hit you sustain will subtract a number from your bracelet. The bracelet will sense if enough force is applied to any part of your body, so yes, you will lose a number by falling out of a tree or something like that. After you've sustained three hits, you're out of the challenge. The last person standing wins individual Invincibility. And it's just one winner from here on out, so you'll have to put in that extra effort."

A number of campers glanced at Lindsay as she placed the last bracelet on Tori's wrist.

"What?" Lindsay asked.

"You're okay with this?" Isidora asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well yeah. I trust you guys to not rough each other up _too_ much," Lindsay said. "Chris isn't hurting you guys, you guys are just play fighting."

"Whatever you say," Hugh said with a devious grin.

"Yes, whatever you say," Chris added with an equally devious grin. "Everyone understand?"

"Makes sense to me," Genesis texted.

"In that case... ready... set... GO!" Chris shouted.

The campers all dashed off into the forest.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** This is a pretty violent challenge, isn't it? I'm wondering if I should just hit myself three times and get it over with. I don't need to exert myself.

 **Stormy~:** A challenge where the goal is to hurt each other? I know a lot of us wouldn't hurt someone intentionally, but I'm concerned that there are others who wouldn't really care as much. Better be careful.

 **Warwick:** Hmph! It is not becoming of a king to do the dirty work hands-on! Then again, I wonder if Zarardo can protect both me _and_ Isidora. ...Perhaps I can put in some effort, for her sake.

 **Jasper:** Winning this challenge may be in my best interest. I may have a target on my back in the near future, and I need to at least bide my time for the initial shock to wear off and people won't care anymore, assuming Amelie has told anyone at all.

* * *

Amelie and Stormy~ ran off with each other.

"So, we have each other's backs here, right?" Amelie asked.

"Of course!" Stormy~ chirped.

"Good. I'm not sure I can win this alone," Amelie said with a sigh of relief. "So, um, if it does come down to just the two of us, how do we decide who wins?"

"Um, would it be rude if I asked you to throw it for me at that point?" Stormy~ asked. "I hear that people are more likely to target returners in this game than non-returners, and I want to make sure I'm safe, you know?"

"Really? I haven't noticed anything like that," Amelie said. "The only returners I can think of who people targeted early were really mean people like Eva and Courtney."

"I still feel kind of paranoid," Stormy~ admitted.

"We'll see, I guess..." Amelie conceded.

* * *

Genesis, Isidora, and Hugh all grouped up together.

"Are you sure we should group up?" Isidora asked. "We'll be kind of painting a huge red flag that says 'we're aligned'."

"Eh, people already know," Hugh shrugged.

Genesis nodded in response. Her phone was in her pocket.

"If you guys say so," Isidora shrugged. "I'd still rather do this alone. I know I'm going to lose this, and I'm just going to hold you guys back."

"Okay, later," Hugh said as he gestured for Isidora to leave. Genesis nudged him. "What? She's not wrong - she would hold us back."

"I appreciate the gesture, Genesis, but please, I insist," Isidora said.

Genesis pulled her phone from out of her pocket, typed something into it, and showed Isidora what she typed. "I'd rather not be left alone with Hugh," it read.

"Ahhhhhhhh," Isidora nodded in understanding.

"What? What'd she put?" Hugh asked.

"Something about us outnumbering the others should give us a distinct advantage," Isidora said quickly.

"Fair enough, I guess," Hugh said.

* * *

Jasper and Ursula had run off to a different part of the forest.

"Hey, Ursula, you haven't heard the rumors, have you?" Jasper asked.

"What rumors? Is someone talking about me?" Ursula panicked.

"No, no, they're not about you, they're about me," Jasper assured her. "I don't know why, but rumors are spreading that I'm not really gay and that I'm faking the whole thing or something. I don't know who started it or why, but I just wanted to say not that it's not true. It's honestly really hurtful that someone would even say that."

"No kidding?" Ursula asked.

"Yeah, and apparently Amelie's pretty upset with me about the whole thing," Jasper continued. "But yeah, if you hear anything about it, it's not true."

"Alright, thanks for letting me know," Ursula nodded. "And don't worry, I believe you. You can be shady, sure, but I don't think you're so awful you'd fake being gay or anything."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Jasper said flatly.

"Hey, I'm on your side here," Ursula huffed.

* * *

Tori and Vardaman had grouped up together elsewhere.

"I'm feelin' good about this," Vardaman smiled as he stretched his arms. "The two strongest folks in the game workin' together. I'd be surprised if one of us didn't win."

"Don't forget, it still takes the same number of hits for us to lose as it does for everyone else," Tori reminded him.

"Maybe, but hitting us at all could be difficult for the others, wouldn't it?" Vardaman asked.

"On the contrary, we're rather big targets," Tori thought aloud. "I think, in theory, people like Amelie and Ursula would have the advantage, being smaller than the rest of us."

"Can't say I can see Amelie bein' so violent, but you might have a point," Vardaman conceded. "You still think we should stick together?"

"I do," Tori nodded. "Two sets of eyes are better than one. If we stay together, we'll be able to spot our opponents more easily."

"That's true," Vardaman decided. "Have to say, I'm not used to this kind of plannin', so I'm glad one of us here knows what they're talking about."

"You're an aspiring doctor. Combat is just about the opposite of your forte, isn't it?" Tori chuckled.

"You said it," Vardaman said. "And I guess all the trainin' you do has prepared you for combat?"

"You never know when you'll need the upper hand," Tori said.

* * *

Warwick and Zarardo were the last two campers to group up.

"So, what's the plan, O advisor?" Warwick asked.

"Win?" Zarardo shrugged. "This challenge is pretty straightforward. Hit the other guys, try not to get hit yourself."

"That does make sense!" Warwick decided. "Any plans beyond that?"

"Erm... stay hidden?" Zarardo asked. "I'm not sure what you want from me, my liege."

"I mostly just missed making you come up with all the cool challenge strategies," Warwick shrugged.

"Now, I'm sure you're aware that, in order to win, we may have to hurt Isidora," Zarardo pointed out.

"Er, yeah? So?" Warwick stammered.

"Well, I've seen you two talk, even after she left the alliance," Zarardo said. "I figure you're still friends."

Warwick winced.

"It makes me a bit suspicious, but I'm not upset," Zarardo said. "Just keep in mind who's always been honest and always had your back since day one."

"G-Got it," Warwick said.

Feedback from the PA system rang through the forest.

"Attention, campers!" Chris announced through the PA. "Your challenge begins now! May the chances always work to your advantage."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Stormy~:** I don't want to have my second chance run out so soon. So I'm determined to win the challenge and keep myself safe!

 **Hugh:** What better challenge to prove how bad boy I am than this? I can kick everyone's asses and prove how awesome I am! The ladies won't be able to keep themselves off me.

 **Ursula:** That's the most serious I've ever seen Jasper. Okay, yeah, I haven't known him for that long, but still. It was weird.

 **Tori:** The forest has always been my element on this island. I would be surprised if I didn't, at worst, last very long in this challenge.

 **Zarardo:** I, as a magician, focus on misdirection in my trade. I make people see what isn't there, and not see what is. Brute strength isn't something I'm quite used to, but I'm no slouch, so we'll see how things go for me.

* * *

As soon as the announcement was made, Stormy~ bolted off.

"Hey! Wait up!" Amelie called as she ran after her friend.

" _Gomen'nasai_!" Stormy~ called back. "I want to make sure we have the advantage."

Amelie tried her best to keep up but found herself leaning against a tree and panting before too long. Stormy~ had left her behind.

"Ow!" Amelie yelped as something hit her on the head. Amelie picked up the projectile: a pinecone. She checked her bracelet, to see that the number on the LCD was now 2.

"Apologies," Tori said. "But we have a challenge to win.

"Uhhh..." Amelie panicked and threw the pinecone at Vardaman. It struck him in the chest.

Vardaman checked his bracelet to find that it, too, had gone down to 2.

"Surely you realize you're outnumbered?" Tori asked.

"Well..." Amelie muttered. "I can at least bring down your numbers to help out the others."

Vardaman tossed the pinecone back at Amelie. She tried to catch it, but it slipped out of her grip, scratching her palm. Tori approached her and gave her a light punch to the arm. Amelie's bracelet began flashing red. She checked it to find that the LCD now displayed 0

"Oh," Amelie frowned.

"Mighty sorry," Vardaman apologized. "But we have a challenge to do, you know?"

"I get it," Amelie said as she went off to leave the forest.

"I have to admit, I'm surprised she managed to get either of us," Tori commented to Vardaman as Amelie was out of earshot.

"Me too," Vardaman admitted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I'm sure Stormy~ didn't mean to leave me behind. ...I hope she didn't, at least.

 **Vardaman:** Three hits isn't really all that many if you really think about it. I'd best go out of my way to make sure I don't get hit again. Only two more hits, and I lose Invincibility. Considerin' how quickly Amelie lost two hits, I'd best be careful.

* * *

Genesis, Hugh, and Isidora strolled through the forest.

"You sure we can't hurry things up?" Hugh asked Isidora.

"I know you know the answer to that question," Isidora remarked.

"People are going to find us if we're going this slow," Hugh insisted.

"People are going to find us even easier if you're complaining about it," Isidora argued.

Genesis nodded in agreement.

"Genesis, can't you carry Isidora or something?" Hugh asked.

"What, your bad boy self can't handle it?" Isidora smirked.

"Bad boys don't help women in need," Hugh huffed.

Just then, Hugh tripped on a rock and landed on the ground. "Tell me that didn't count against me," he grumbled.

"It did," Isidora said as she checked Hugh's bracelet.

Genesis chuckled silently. She noticed a rustling in a nearby bush and tugged at Isidora's sleeve. Once Genesis got Isidora's attention, the former pointed at the bush.

"What is it?" Hugh asked as he picked himself up off the ground and dusted himself off.

Genesis shot Hugh a look and made a "zip your lip" motion.

"Boo!" shouted a voice from behind the three.

"ACK!" Hugh squealed. In his surprise, he lost his balance and fell onto his rear. He checked his bracelet, which now displayed a 1. "Figures."

Genesis and Isidora turned around to see Ursula cackling at them, only to be interrupted by Genesis knocking her on the head.

"Hey!" Ursula objected. She checked her bracelet to find a 2. She gave Genesis a light slap across the cheek, which Genesis returned, which Ursula returned. The two girls devolved into a wimpy slap fight as both of their bracelets began flashing red.

As Hugh began to stand up, he noticed out of the corner of his eye Jasper leaving the bush. He sprinted towards Jasper, only for Jasper to dodge out of the way, causing Hugh to collide into a tree, resulting in his bracelet also flashing red.

"Nice try, boo," Jasper said condescendingly.

"Oh, hey, it's Jasper," Isidora said flatly.

"Oh, hey, it's Isidora," Jasper responded, equally as flat.

"How are we going to do this?" Isidora asked.

"Are they still going?" Jasper asked as he pointed at Genesis and Ursula.

Isidora turned her head to look, only for Jasper to rap her on the head three times

"Tsk. Well played," Isidora conceded.

"Come on, girls!" Hugh called to Genesis and Ursula.

The girls stopped their slap fight.

"...How long were we doing that?" Ursula asked.

Genesis shrugged.

"Everyone here but me seems to be out," Jasper noted.

"Time to leave the forest," Isidora said as she, Genesis, Hugh, and Ursula made their way off.

Jasper strolled off to a different part of the forest.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** I'd say the plan went off pretty well overall. Yeah, I know, I told Ursula no scaring people, but I figure challenges are probably fair game. I think people might suspect something if Ursula _never_ scared anyone, and I don't want Ursula getting too antsy. I've heard how she can be when she gets antsy.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Well... that was embarrassing. I'm not sure where that slap-fight came from, but after Ursula trying to screw me over the past couple weeks, it was cathartic if nothing else.

* * *

Warwick and Zarardo made their way through the forest, looking for other contestants.

"...You're awfully quiet," Zarardo noted.

"I am?" Warwick asked.

"Yes, usually this would be the part where you declare how victory is inevitable for someone of your royal stature," Zarardo said.

"Well, it is. Naturally," Warwick said. "I thought it went without saying."

"Is something on your mind, Your Majesty?" Zarardo asked. "Isidora?"

"What is it with you and Isidora?" Warwick asked exasperatedly.

"It doesn't pay to be too trusting of others," Zarardo said as he shook his head. "That only leaves to naivete, and naivete leads to getting voted out."

"She said one thing you didn't agree with, and you suddenly decided she was out to get you!" Warwick shot back. "And somehow you trust Amelie and Stormy~, both of whom you've barely talked to, more than someone who's had our backs since back when Ronoc was still here!"

Zarardo twitched a bit before flashing Warwick a big smirk.

"I'm only doing what's best for Your Majesty," Zarardo insisted. "You may not comprehend everything I do, but I have done everything in my power for your sake."

"Kicking Isidora out of the royal council was supposed to be for my sake?" Warwick scoffed. "All it's done is stress me out!"

"Nobody is perfect," Zarardo scowled. "You can't expect my every move to work flawlessly, Your Majesty."

Warwick knocked Zarardo on the head with his scepter. "No, but you've forgotten the most important thing," he scowled back. He knocked Zarardo on the head again. "I'm the king here." He knocked Zarardo one last time. "I'm the one who makes the decisions. And as of now, you are out of my royal council!"

Zarardo's bracelet began flashing red. He looked at it and began to chuckle. "You've just made the biggest mistake you could possibly make in this game."

Zarardo made his way to exit the forest.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** I... I don't know where that came from. Hopefully, that wasn't a bad idea. I just kind of did that on impulse. I mean, I was planning on joining Isidora's alliance anyway. Guess this will make that easier? _(He looks at the camera unsurely.)_

 **Zarardo:** _(He guffaws.)_ I put up with Warwick's antics for weeks on end, and _he's_ the one who thinks _I'm_ unfit to be around. Oh, the grand irony in this tragedy we call Total Drama. I will make sure he regrets this move immensely.

* * *

Tori and Vardaman continued on their way through the forest.

"Been a while since we've seen someone," Vardaman noted. "Strange. It ain't a huge forest, and there's eleven of us here."

"I believe the others are traveling in groups like we are," Tori said.

"Hold on there. Is that Stormy~?" Vardaman asked as he pointed to a yellow figure off in the distance.

Stormy~ sat on a tree stump, catching her breath.

"I can't believe I lost Amelie," Stormy~ said. "I should apologize to her later. After I win the challenge, of course."

She noticed Tori and Vardaman off in the distance.

" _E_?" Stormy~ interjected as she stood up.

"I think she notices us," Vardaman whispered to Tori.

"I think she notices that we notice her," Tori added as Stormy~ began sprinting towards the two.

The j-pop star attempted to punch Tori in the gut, but Tori blocked it. The impact was still enough to knock both girls' bracelets down a number.

"You really have been working out," Tori said with a slight smile.

"That was for saying you didn't like my music without even really listening to it!" Stormy~ huffed.

"Did you really?" Vardaman asked Tori.

"I wasn't going to lie to her," Tori said as she shoved Stormy~ to the ground, knocking the latter down to 1.

"You could've at least listened to all of it," Vardaman said.

"I didn't want to," Tori shrugged.

As Stormy~ stood up, Tori flicked her on the forehead, causing her bracelet to flash red.

"Ah! I... I won't forget this!" Stormy~ cried as she ran off.

"You didn't have to be so rude to her," Vardaman told Tori.

"I'm a blunt individual. She should have known this by now," Tori said.

"How should she? She's only been back for a couple days," Vardaman reminded her.

"We can discuss this after the challenge," Tori said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Tori:** Perhaps I was a bit rude to Stormy~, but in all fairness, she is overreacting to me not liking her music.

 **Stormy~:** Maybe I am overreacting a bit, but in all fairness, Tori was pretty rude to me.

* * *

Jasper wandered through the forest by himself.

"Hm, haven't seen Amelie anywhere," Jasper noted. "Hopefully that means she's already out of the challenge. Wouldn't surprise me."

Jasper cracked his neck.

"She'd better not be spreading anything," Jasper muttered. "Wouldn't put that past her either."

"Aha!" came a gasp from the side. Jasper turned his head to find Warwick running towards him.

Jasper dodged out of the way, causing Warwick to run into a tree, knocking his bracelet down to 2.

"How does that keep working?" Jasper asked with an amused scoff to himself.

"You shall pay for causing harm to royalty!" Warwick cried as he whapped Jasper in the arm with his scepter.

"Ow!" Jasper yelped.

"Haha! For once, having a scepter has proven effective!" Warwick declared as he whapped Jasper in the other arm.

"Give me that!" Jasper shouted as he reached for Warwick's scepter, only for Warwick to pull back and whap Jasper on the head, causing Jasper's bracelet to flash red.

"Son of a..." Jasper muttered. He grumbled to himself as he exited the forest.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Jasper:** The one time Warwick decides to bring his scepter... That thing hurts!

 **Warwick:** Who says I have no real authority? Anyone who dares question me will get the scepter! Hahah!

* * *

Tori and Vardaman continued their trek through the forest.

"You think we're the last two people?" Vardaman asked.

"I think Chris would tell us if we were," Tori said. "You know how impatient he can get."

"Maybe, but he also likes to mess with us," Vardaman figured. "I doubt it'd be past him to have us wander around for hours on end looking for people when it's just us left in the challenge."

"What do you suggest?" Tori asked.

"You can take me out of the challenge," Vardaman offered. "After you got votes last night, I figure you need Invincibility more than I do."

"Ever the gentleman," Tori smiled. She knocked Vardaman on the head twice, and his bracelet began to flash red.

The two waited for a bit.

"Huh. No announcement that you won. Maybe there are still folks around," Vardaman winced. "Well, best of luck. I know you can win it."

"And win it, I shall," Tori smiled.

As Vardaman left the scene, Warwick peeked out from behind a tree that was behind Tori's back. Warwick began to sneak up on her, only for Tori to turn around and come face to face with him, causing him to freeze in a cold sweat.

Warwick tried swinging his scepter at Tori, only for Tori to catch it mid-swing and pry it from Warwick's hands.

"Hey! Give that back!" Warwick whined. "It's expensive!"

Tori flicked Warwick in the forehead three times.

"Ow! Ow! OW!" Warwick whimpered. "Two times was enough!"

"Attention, campers!" Chris's voice rang through the PA system. "Tori has won Invincibility! You may not vote for her tonight! Everyone else is fair game! Votes are due at the same time as always, and so is the elimination ceremony!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Well, at least someone on our side is safe tonight. Now the main question is who we should vote out tonight.

 **Ursula:** I'm honestly kind of disappointed in myself and how badly I did in that challenge. Clearly, I haven't been practicing skulking around enough.

 **Hugh:** Tch. Whatever. I'm still safe. I've got enough friends and allies for me to be in the majority. I'm untouchable.

 **Jasper:** I don't know what Amelie's told anyone, but I figure that as long as I play it cool and act like nothing's wrong, people won't see it as a big deal. Which it isn't.

* * *

Amelie, Stormy~, and Zarardo met up on the Dock of Shame.

"Where's Warwick?" Amelie asked curiously.

"Warwick... will not be joining us," Zarardo said.

"Oh," Amelie said. "Well, he doesn't have to be with us now to hear who we're voting for."

"You have a target in mind?" Zarardo asked.

"I sure do," Amelie scowled. "That no-good, lying, insensitive Jasper!"

" _Chottomatte_ ," Stormy~ said. "I thought we were voting for Hugh."

"Hugh is the more prudent option here," Zarardo nodded. "He's a part of the big alliance. Jasper could be a valuable vote for us to help dismantle that alliance."

"But!" Amelie started. "As it turns out, he's been faking being gay!"

"What?" Zarardo asked in disbelief.

"It's true! I found his note from home, and it said as much!" Amelie insisted.

"Whether Jasper is gay or not is none of our concern," Stormy~ said. "We need his vote to take out Hugh."

"I can't believe you two!" Amelie gasped.

"I'm sorry, Amelie, but if we want any chance of winning, we can't vote out Jasper at this moment," Zarardo said. "How about two rounds from now?"

"Why two?" Stormy~ asked.

"We use this round to take out Hugh, the next round to take another from that alliance for good measure - I'd prefer Isidora or Genesis - and then we'd have ample room to vote for Jasper."

"I don't know..." Amelie said. "I'm not sure I can do that in good conscience."

"Morals won't stop other people from making moves," Stormy~ said. "I learned that the hard way. I don't want you to learn that the hard way too."

Amelie sighed. "I need some time to think," she said as she walked away.

"I'm sure she'll come around once the initial shock wears off," Zarardo assured Stormy~.

"I hope you're right," Stormy~ said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** The girls already seem like much more stable and likable allies than Warwick ever was. Perhaps him choosing not to work with me was a blessing in disguise. We can always vote him out at another time. For now, Hugh works.

 **Stormy~:** Maybe faking being gay is a bigger deal in Canada than it is in Japan. I just think it's kind of hot. Sorry, Lester. _(She giggles.)_

* * *

Genesis, Isidora, Jasper, and Ursula met up in the girls' cabin.

"So, what's the plan, Stan?" Jasper asked. "Because I'm partial to Amelie, myself."

"I could vote for Amelie," Genesis texted. "I barely know her, and I can't see us working together."

"Same," Isidora nodded.

"Yeah, same," Ursula added.

"Great, so we're all in agreement!" Jasper clapped.

"Sounds like it," Isidora said.

"That was easy," Genesis texted.

"Hey, you guys want to make this official?" Ursula asked.

"Make what official?" Isidora asked.

"This alliance," Ursula said. "You know, a final four deal. No one will expect it. None of us were particularly close with each other before the merge. We can run the game behind the scenes, you know?"

Isidora glanced at Genesis in disbelief. Genesis gave a "why not" look in response.

"Sure, let's do it," Isidora said with forced enthusiasm.

"Yaysies!" Jasper exclaimed. "We've so got this!

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** That takes a load off my mind. It's nice that I've actually got a decent, stable alliance. And between you and me, I think I can feasibly beat any of them in the finale. I think I just secured my win, guys.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Eh, these guys aren't my first choice in allies, but if it comes down to it, better to have allies I can fall back on if things don't end up working with the Italics. After having Fauna as my most competent ally for a good part of the game, I'll take any and all alliance offers.

 **Jasper:** This can work. I know Genesis and Isidora have an in with Vardaman and his cronies. With their good word, I can flip this around on Amelie.

* * *

Hugh, Tori, and Vardaman met up in the forest.

"Where on Earth are the others?" Hugh asked impatiently.

"Give 'em time," Vardaman said. "They're probably gathering information."

"Why should we bother?" Tori said arrogantly. "Our votes determine who stays and who goes, do they not?"

"Five people ain't quite a majority," Vardaman said. "Not in a group of eleven, at least."

"Um, you guys want information?" Amelie asked. "Because, well, I have some."

"Do tell," Hugh said in disbelief as he folded his arms.

"Stormy~ and I are, um, planning on voting for Jasper," Amelie half-fibbed. "Apparently he's faking being gay!"

"He is?" Tori asked.

"Yeah right," Hugh spat. "He's way too convincing for it to be fake."

Vardaman, meanwhile, looked mortified.

"Whoa, dude. You alright?" Hugh asked.

"You'd better have proof," Vardaman told Amelie harshly.

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger!" Amelie cried.

"Why do you care so much?" Tori asked Vardaman.

"Jasper's been pickin' on me since day one with the self-justification of him bein' gay," Vardaman grimaced. "If it really is all fake..."

"I found his note from home," Amelie said. "He swiped it back from me, but I promise it said that he was faking it."

"I don't know," Hugh said. "She could be lying."

"Even if she ain't," Vardaman said as he shook his head. "Gettin' rid of Jasper still wouldn't be the worst thing."

"If it means that much to you, then we can do it," Tori told Vardaman with a friendly smile.

"Eh, if there's no one else to vote for," Hugh shrugged.

"Thank you guys," Amelie said as she waved goodbye and left.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Well, shoot, Jasper's one of my allies, but if there are no better options, well, I've never been shy of voting out allies in the past.

 **Tori:** It matters not to me who goes home, as long as it's not an ally of mine.

 **Amelie:** If my allies won't hear me out, maybe someone who's hated Jasper for a while, like Vardaman, will.

* * *

Genesis, Isidora, and Warwick all joined up with Hugh, Tori, and Vardaman.

"Good morrow!" Warwick greeted.

"What the hell is Warwick doing here?" Hugh asked.

"Warwick is interested in joining our alliance," Isidora explained.

"Zarardo proved to be a poor choice of an ally, so I've decided to form a new royal council," Warwick said.

"This child fancies himself a leader," Tori snickered.

"Let's be nice, now," Vardaman told Tori.

"In other news," Genesis texted. "Jasper and Ursula seem to want to vote for Amelie."

"I'd be down with that," Hugh said. "I know Amelie has it out for me."

"Amelie herself actually approached us," Tori said. "She said she wanted Jasper gone."

"So it looks like none of us are in any real danger," Isidora noted. "Nice."

"The question now is which one to vote for," Warwick said.

"Why don't we decide democratically?" Genesis offered.

"That's now how a monarchy works!" Warwick insisted.

"Warwick..." Isidora said. She began whispering to him. "Perhaps now it'd be best to listen to them, so we can gain their trust."

"If you insist," Warwick sighed. "Democratically, it is."

"Alright, raise your right hand if you want Amelie gone, and your left if you want Jasper gone," Genesis texted. "Majority rules."

The six campers raised their hands based on their opinions.

"Looks like we've reached a verdict," Genesis texted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Part of me isn't sure if letting Warwick join us is a good idea, but another part of me figures that another vote in our favor couldn't hurt.

 **Warwick:** For a king, it seems that so much of my time here has been determined by votes. Votes, votes, votes. Why can't I just decide who goes home and we can be done with it?

 **Isidora:** I'm just praying this all goes well. Warwick can be pretty emotional a lot of the time, and having someone so unpredictable in the alliance is risky. Then again, if I'm supposed to trust Hugh, I'm sure the others can bite the bullet with Warwick.

* * *

The eleven campers all met up at the firepit for elimination. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"Welcome back to the campfire ceremony, campers," Chris said dully.

"You seem excited," Zarardo said sarcastically.

"Yeah, Lindsay had a bit of a field day with the shock collar after reviewing the footage for the challenge," Chris said bitterly. "Not sure how any of what happened is _my_ fault, and you'd best believe the producers will be getting an earful from me after this ceremony. But for now, marshmallows."

"Tori."

"Zarardo."

"Ursula."

"Stormy~."

"Vardaman."

"Isidora."

"Warwick."

"Genesis."

"Hugh."

Amelie and Jasper glared at each other.

"One marshmallow left," Chris said. "And it goes to..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Amelie."

"Fucking figures," Jasper spat as he stood up.

"Yep. Sorry, bro," Chris said.

"It's not. That big. A deal," Jasper grunted to Amelie.

Amelie leered at Jasper in response.

"If anyone wants to see Jasper off, you can follow us to the Dock of Shame," Chris said. Everyone else can head to bed."

* * *

Jasper and Chris came to the Dock of Shame.

"...Seriously?" Jasper asked. "Nobody came to see me off."

"Guess not, dude," Chris said.

"That's bullshit," Jasper frowned. "At least tell me I'm not the only one who's had no one see them off. Surely, I don't know, Dalit or Xingrong or Ronoc or someone didn't have any friends."

"Well, there was Fauna, who quit while you guys were sleeping, but other than her... just you, dude," Chris said.

"I can't believe this," Jasper grumbled. "Not even Ursula. Give me a break."

"All this could have been avoided if you'd just destroyed your note, dude," Chris said. "Why didn't you?"

"I'm not a monster, Chris," Jasper said. "I love and miss my parents just as much as everyone else here."

"See, it's things like 'love' and 'sentiment' that always tend to screw people over in these games," Chris chuckled.

"Eat a dick," Jasper spat.

"That's your shtick, dude," Chris chuckled.

"Just bring up the stupid elevator already," Jasper said.

"Whatever you say, dude," Chris grinned as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors.

"You're enjoying this way too much," Jasper noted.

"It's been a bad afternoon," Chris shrugged. "Nothing like making kids miserable to perk me right up, you know? Anyway, any last words, Jasper?"

"I curse Amelie's name," Jasper said. "I mean, I don't actually believe in curses, but anything that could help Amelie lose, you know?"

"Going out on a bitter note. I like it," Chris chuckled. As he did, Jasper entered the Elevator of Losers. "Jasper, you have finished this game in 11th place."

"I need a freaking nap," Jasper said.

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater. Chris turned to the camera.

"And with that, we're down to what really is the _final_ ten," Chris said.

"Finally, someone found out Jasper's secret!" Lindsay cheered as she joined Chris. "I couldn't stand that guy."

"I thought he was funny," Chris said. "Anyway, with the power duo of Warwick and Zarardo split up, how will they affect the dynamics of their new alliances? Will Ursula manage without any super close allies? Is the cross-team alliance unbreakable?"

"Will Isidora learn to really love Warwick?" Lindsay asked. "Will any more relationships sprout up? It's not too late!"

"Whatever you say," Chris muttered. "Er, I can hardly wait to find out myself."

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Amelie:** Jasper, I can't abide by your strategy, and your nonchalance to the whole thing just makes it worse. I have to vote for you.

 **Jasper:** I can't let Amelie paint me as a target. I'll have to get rid of her before she can get rid of me first.

 **Stormy~:** I know Amelie wants Jasper gone, I get that, but if we don't get rid of Hugh, his alliance could bring him all the way to the end! We have to get rid of Hugh.

 **Ursula:** Looks like it's Amelie's time to go. Works for me. She's never spoken to me once anyway.

 **Zarardo:** There are people in the big alliance who I'd rather vote out than Hugh, but, if only to gain the trust of Amelie and Stormy~, I will vote for Hugh.

 **Vardaman:** Majority said we vote for Jasper. And good riddance. I've wanted him gone for a long while.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Yeah, I'm supposed to be aligned with Jasper, but Jasper doesn't hold the majority vote, so... bye, Jasper.

 **Hugh:** I'd rather get rid of Amelie, but splitting the vote would be stupid, so I guess I'll vote for Jasper. There are worse people to vote out, I guess.

 **Tori:** Despite us being on the same team from the beginning, I can't recall having ever spoken with Jasper. Perhaps that, plus our current circumstances, are signs that I should vote for him.

 **Isidora:** I'd rather vote Jasper than Amelie, to be honest. Amelie's at least quiet. And not as strong or smart as Jasper.

 **Warwick:** Amelie has been a friend to me before, and a good king knows to keep good friends around. So I vote for Jasper.

* * *

 _A/N: I think that Jasper's one of the few characters in this fic who everyone basically has always agreed had no shot at winning, and it looks like you guys were right! With Preston as an early out in House Party, I felt like trying my hand at really writing a smug, slimy villain, and Jasper was just that. I'm not sure he had any real positive traits to him, and it can be fun to write characters like that from time to time. Jasper as a character seemed pretty polarizing, with people who loved him and people who hated him, but, like I said, everyone could agree that, with his controversial strategy, he was not going to win, and I didn't want to drag this out for too long, so Jasper falls just short of the top ten._


	19. Ep 18: Lights, Camera, Auction!

_A/N: I can't guarantee updates will be frequent, but I have not and will not give up on this story!_

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, alliance lines were formed, cut, and intercrossed all over the place in this spider web we call a game," Chris said. "Warwick and Zarardo broke up their day one alliance, and Warwick sided with the big cross-team alliance, while Zarardo grouped up with Amelie and Stormy~. Genesis and Isidora formed a final four deal with Jasper and Ursula, though it's pretty clear to everyone other than Ursula that they don't really plan on honoring it."

"How does anyone keep track of these alliances?" Lindsay asked, holding her head.

"You have to be able to keep an eye on these things if you want to be a good host," Chris said. "I didn't get this job _only_ off my good looks. Unlike _some_ people."

"Who?" Lindsay asked.

"Uh, not important," Chris said.

"Oh! Um! Amelie found out that Jasper's faking being gay!" Lindsay told the camera.

"Oh, right, that," Chris said. "Yeah, Amelie found Jasper's letter from home, which revealed his strategy, putting him in some pretty hot water."

"And he just acted like he wasn't doing anything wrong!" Lindsay cried.

"Hey, his strategy worked, didn't it?" Chris shrugged. "After the greatest challenge of the season happened and Tori won immunity, the votes fell between Amelie and Jasper. And Hugh I guess. In the end, the kids voted for Jasper, leaving us with our real top ten campers."

"Someone's making a top ten list?" Lindsay asked. "Should I make one too?"

"Okay, now you're just trying to say dumb things," Chris remarked. "Anyway, will the web of alliances grow any more tangled? Is the big cross-team alliance going to continue to dominate? And will they come up with a catchier name for their alliance?"

"What about 'The Royal Council'?" Lindsay offered. "Since Warwick's on it now."

"Implying Warwick has any sort of power over them," Chris muttered. "You ask questions now."

"Oh! Um... How will Ursula handle losing her new closest ally? Is Zarardo starting to corrupt Stormy~? Will I be invited to Isidora's and Warwick's wedding?"

"Find out, right here, on Total!" Chris started.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

Ursula paced back and forth in the pet cemetery.

"I can't believe this," she grumbled. "Why do people keep voting out my allies? If they dislike me that much, why not just vote _me_ out?"

"If you quit, it'd save us all a round," Isidora joked as she approached the Halloween fan.

"Screw off," Ursula scowled.

"Okay, bad taste joke on my part, I'll concede," Isidora said. "Too bad about Jasper, though."

"Since when does Amelie have all this say in who goes home?" Ursula asked. "I kept hearing she was basically on the outs of her team and pretty much would have gone home if the Italics had lost the last premerge round. Now all of a sudden she decides who goes home?"

"People go home in this game. That's what makes it a game," Isidora said. "Surely you knew that going in."

"Well yeah, no duh," Ursula said. "I just didn't expect it to hurt so much when my friends get voted out. When you're watching it and someone you like goes home, you feel bad, but you usually get over it by the next episode. Here, when the people I like go home, it could lead to me getting voted out, and that's stressful as hell."

"Is that why you didn't see Jasper off as he left?" Isidora asked.

"Because I was stressed? Yeah," Ursula confirmed. "I just needed to lie down. Was not expecting Jasper to go at all."

"I see," Isidora said. "Well, you've still got Genesis and me, if nothing else."

"I guess," Ursula said. "I don't know, I just feel like I'm out of the loop with the strategy, you know? Like, all this stuff is going on behind my back. Might just be the blindside, I don't know. But I feel like I'm nobody's closest ally, and it kind of sucks."

"Well, you're no one's biggest target, either. At least not that I know of," Isidora said. "If I were you, I'd take full advantage of that."

"Jasper did say something about lying low before he left," Ursula nodded. "I'll keep it in mind. Thanks for hearing me out, by the way. Means a lot."

"Oh, yeah, no problem," Isidora said, seeming a bit surprised by the thanks.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** If I don't make any big strategic moves, no one will think to vote me out... It's an idea worth considering. I've never been that great at strategy anyway, so I guess the plan here is, I don't know, find out who people want to vote out, and then I'll vote accordingly. I'm surprised I didn't think of this sooner, honestly.

 **Isidora:** I've never been particularly close to Ursula, but if she's willing to not vote for me, I'll accept that. I might have to throw her under the bus eventually, but for now, it's best that I keep her spirits up and her loyalty to me.

* * *

Vardaman found Warwick eating breakfast and wincing.

"Something troubling you, Warwick?" Vardaman asked.

"I boiled myself some eggs for breakfast, but they turned out all crunchy," Warwick griped.

"Did you take the shells off of them?" Vardaman asked.

"I thought the shells go soft when you boil them," Warwick said.

"Er, no, you have to peel them off before you eat the egg," Vardaman explained.

"...This explains so much!" Warwick realized. "Usually making breakfast was Zarardo's job, but, well, you know."

"Well, I think you made the right decision in joining us," Vardaman smiled.

"As do I," Warwick nodded. "Isidora spoke highly of you in particular, and I trust her judgment."

"Did she, now?" Vardaman asked.

"Yes, you're Hugh, right?" Warwick asked. He chortled. "That was but a jest, worry not."

Vardaman laughed. "Anyway, I was actually hoping to talk to you."

" _Moi_?" Warwick asked. "Whatever for?"

"Just wanted to get to know you," Vardaman smiled. "If we're going to be working together, we might as well, right? So, uh, why do you want to be a king so bad?"

"Why not?" Warwick grinned. "Kings have the ultimate say in anything, and they get to live fancy on top of it. Who wouldn't want that?"

"You do make a good point," Vardaman said. "I think there's something to be said about people who work hard to make their living, though."

"Are you saying kings don't work hard?" Warwick huffed. "Kings have to make the tough decisions. Their say will determine the wellbeing of an entire country. Not to mention the ever-looming obligation to procreate and continue the royal lineage. It's a lot of pressure."

"But the life of luxury makes it all worth it, huh?" Vardaman asked.

"Of course," Warwick said. "I can't imagine you know what luxury is like. Worry not, my good man. When I win this game, you will have a seat on my round table."

"Glad to hear it," Vardaman chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I think the key to a good, strong, loyal alliance is to make sure that people like you enough to want to keep working with you. Seems kind of obvious now that I say it out loud, but I've seen some alliances in this game go down just because some people within those alliances just didn't get along. So I'm doing what I can to make sure Isidora and Warwick feel welcome.

 **Warwick:** Vardaman seems like a good man. He will make a very welcome addition to the royal council. I've not spoken much with Genesis, Hugh, or Tori, but Isidora trusts them, so I, too, will trust them. For now.

* * *

Amelie sat with her legs dangling off the edge of the Dock of Shame when Zarardo approached her.

"Good morning, Amelie," Zarardo greeted.

"Oh. Morning, Zarardo," Amelie greeted back.

"Mind telling me what the hell that was last night?" Zarardo said with a cheery smile.

"Wai- What?" Amelie stammered.

"You heard me," Zarardo said. "I know you convinced the big alliance to vote out Jasper. Why on Earth would you think that's a good idea?"

"What do you mean?" Amelie scoffed. "He was a terrible person. Letting him stay would just be enabling him!"

"Good and bad are irrelevant in this game," Zarardo said seriously. "Jasper was a valuable vote which could have helped us dismantle this big alliance. Now that he's gone, you've basically handed them all a ticket to the final five!"

"You don't know that," Amelie frowned. "Anything can happen in Total Drama."

"Perhaps, but now that it's five against five, all we have to bank on to survive is one of the big alliance turning on them," Zarardo said.

"Well, Hugh's backstabbed people before," Amelie huffed. "Talk to him."

"Hugh, huh?" Zarardo asked. "I might actually look into that. Not sure Stormy~ will like it, though. After all, Hugh's a bad person, and bad people deserve to be voted out rather than negotiated with."

"Stop," Amelie said flatly. "Bitterness isn't going to help anything."

"I'm still just floored by this outrageously bad decision," Zarardo said as he shook his head, turned, and left.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** It never occurred to me that someone would vote out a valuable number based on something as petty as morality. I had thought we were all above that. Clearly, I'd given Amelie too much credit. Sadly, she's the smartest ally I have right now, so I might just have to roll with it. If she tries telling me to vote out Ursula or Warwick, though, we're going to have to have a serious talk.

 **Amelie:** Some things are just more important to me than winning. It didn't really occur to me, though, that _I'm_ the main reason Jasper's gone. Feels kind of good knowing I made an impact on the game.

* * *

Stormy~ walked through the main campground, singing to herself in Japanese, as she entered the girls' cabin, where she found Genesis sitting on her bed, playing a game on her phone.

"Oh! _Ohayōgozaimasu_ , Genesis!" Stormy~ greeted.

Genesis waved half-heartedly as she focused on her game.

Silence lingered for a bit before Stormy~ broke it.

"It must be hard not having a voice," Stormy~ noted. "We could be talking right now, but I don't want to interrupt your game."

Genesis shrugged. She exited out of her game and began typing.

"I was losing anyway," Genesis texted. "Was there something you wanted to talk about?"

"Well, now that I'm thinking about it, I am kind of curious about what it's like to not have a voice," Stormy~ admitted.

"It's hard to compare it to having a voice since I've never had one," Genesis texted. "It's inconvenient, even after all these years of learning to deal with it, but with today's technology, I'm able to live with it."

"I can't imagine not having a voice," Stormy~ admitted. "If I couldn't sing, what else could I do? Be a model? I am awfully cute, but I don't want grown men looking at me weird."

"And becoming a pop idol is supposed to prevent that?" Genesis texted with a raised eyebrow and an amused smirk.

Stormy~ gave Genesis a flustered pout, which Genesis responded to with a silent chuckle.

"I do wonder what my voice would sound like if I had one," Genesis texted. "I set my text-to-speech voice as higher-pitched, but I wonder if my real voice would be high-pitched or low-pitched."

"I wonder if you'd be any good at singing or not," Stormy~ added.

"I've often thought about how my lifestyle might change if I wasn't mute," Genesis texted. "Being mute has led me to spend most of my time on the internet. Being mute doesn't matter on the internet because everyone's just typing anyway. If I could speak, would I spend so much time online?"

"Maybe you'd become a pop idol!" Stormy~ suggested.

"I doubt it," Genesis texted with a silent chuckle. "We don't really have pop stars our age in Canada. And when we do, people tend not to like them very much. You should have seen Justin Bieber when he was still in his teens."

"I don't know who that is," Stormy~ admitted.

"Look him up at some point," Genesis texted.

"If you say so," Stormy~ smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Truth be told, I just chose the cutest-sounding voice the app had available. I figured people would let their guards down around me more if I sounded cuter. Seems to be working well enough so far.

 **Stormy~:** I think it'd be pretty hard to not have a voice, but maybe that's because I'm so used to having one. Maybe someday I'll try going the whole day without using it. Assuming I'll ever have a day where I won't need to use it. Using my voice for a living might make that difficult.

* * *

Tori entered the kitchen to find Hugh fixing himself breakfast.

"Good morning, Hugh," Tori greeted.

"Hey," Hugh said half-heartedly as he focused on the omelet he was preparing.

"That actually smells pretty good," Tori admitted.

"It's just an omelet. Not hard to fix," Hugh shrugged.

"I certainly couldn't fix one," Tori said. "Then again, I prefer only to eat egg whites anyway."

"That's just a waste," Hugh said disdainfully. "The yolk is the best part. The whites are what make your poop smell bad."

"The whites are also far healthier than the yolk," Tori pointed out.

"Well, I don't fix myself eggs to stay healthy. I fix myself eggs because they're freaking delicious," Hugh said as he began adding fixings to his omelet.

"I'd think being athletic would be key in the bad boy image you seek so much," Tori pointed out. "Isn't the fact that a bad boy can beat up anyone who threatens you part of the appeal?"

"And you're such an expert on it? The girl who's dating the least 'bad boy' guy to ever set foot on this island?" Hugh scoffed.

"I am still a girl," Tori said. "If you seek to attract women, shouldn't you be heeding the advice of a woman instead of casting it aside?"

"Well, one omelet isn't going render me incapable of doing anything physical," Hugh remarked.

"No, your lack of muscles should do that for you," Tori smirked.

"Yeah... well... shut up!" Hugh retorted.

"We make excellent allies, don't we?" Tori chuckled to herself.

"Hey, I was here minding my own business making myself an omelet," Hugh grumbled. "You're the one who decided to show up and taunt me. You really are all muscles and no social game, aren't you?"

"Well, you're no muscles and no social game, so I don't think you're in any position to talk," Tori said as she exited the kitchen.

"'Well you're no muscles and no social game'," Hugh repeating in a mocking voice as he put his omelet on a plate.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Tori:** I know I said I'd work on my social game, and I meant it, but I'm always going to be honest. If people don't like what I say, that's beyond my control.

 **Hugh:** Tori just doesn't get it. Being a bad boy doesn't mean I have to be able to kick your ass physically. I can still kick your ass verbally. She also neglected to mention that I'm way smarter than she is, so...

* * *

Ursula wandered through the forest alone.

"Should have brought my phone or something," Ursula muttered. "Even if there's no wifi, I'd at least have my music."

She leaned against a tree.

"Lying low sucks," Ursula grumbled. "I really should go make some more allies. That's smart, right? Although it might make me more of a target... God, I wish I knew what I was doing."

"Ursula?" Amelie greeted.

"Oh, hey Amelie," Ursula greeted back. "What are you doing in the forest? I thought you hated it in here."

"It is pretty creepy," Amelie admitted. "But I felt like a walk through the forest might help me get just a little bit braver."

"Is it working?" Ursula asked.

"It might be," Amelie smiled. "Although, now that I think about it, you haven't tried to scare me in a while. Is something wrong?"

"What?" Ursula asked. "Oh, no, nothing's wrong. It's just, I don't know, I feel like we're at a point in the game where scaring people is a bad idea, you know? Don't want to piss anyone off."

"That makes sense," Amelie said. "You seem kind of lonely, though, out here all alone. Do you want to talk?"

"Eh, couldn't hurt," Ursula shrugged. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Oh, um... I don't know. Sorry," Amelie stammered. "I'm, um, not great at conversation."

"Uh... how did things end up with you and Ephraim?" Ursula asked. "I know he was on a date with Cordelia in that one challenge, but I noticed you used to hang around him a lot, so I'm just curious."

"Oh!" Amelie blushed. "Ephraim is really handsome, but I don't think he and I are going to end up _together_ together."

"Why not?" Ursula asked.

"I just got the feeling he hung out with me out of obligation," Amelie explained. "That he _had_ to protect me instead of _wanted_ to."

"Hey, if Tori and Warwick can end up with cute SOs, so can you," Ursula smirked.

"Maybe," Amelie said quietly. "What about you and Osric?"

"Yeah, we're together," Ursula beamed. "I wasn't sure at first, but I gave in after the date challenge. That was the most fun I've had on a date in a long time. That's when I knew that Osric was the kind of guy I'd like to introduce to my uncle."

"Your uncle?" Amelie asked.

"Yeah, I live with my uncle," Ursula said. "Long story - I'd rather not get into it."

"I understand," Amelie nodded.

"Keep me around long enough and I might tell you," Ursula winked.

"Oh," Amelie responded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** I don't know, Amelie's someone I might be cool with working with. I think she's aligned with Stormy~ and Zarardo now? On one hand, I'd like to do something about the big alliance, but on the other hand, my two allies are in the big alliance. Eh, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it I guess.

 **Amelie:** I don't think Ursula's a part of the big alliance, so if she wanted to join my alliance, I'd be alright with that. I'm not sure how Stormy~ or Zarardo feel about her. Maybe I'll ask Zarardo at some point. They used to be teammates, after all. He probably knows the most about her out of the three of us.

* * *

Warwick sat alone on top of the thousand-foot cliff when Isidora approached him.

"Hey," Isidora greeted.

"Oh, hey," Warwick greeted back, seeming somewhat surprised. "You didn't have to come all the way up here to see me."

"I'll be fine," Isidora smirked. "I may be ill, but I've walked up this cliff so many times that I've grown used to it."

"Is there something you need?" Warwick asked.

"Eh, I got bored," Isidora shrugged.

"Today I learned that when you boil an egg, it doesn't make the shell go soft and you have to take the shell off," Warwick said.

"...I'm not sure how to respond to that," Isidora admitted.

"I don't usually make my own food," Warwick said.

"So, uh..." Isidora wracked her brain for a new topic. "Why don't you use the royal we?"

"What?" Warwick asked.

"You know, the royal we," Isidora said. "When monarchs and other people in a sovereign position refer to themselves as 'we' or 'us' instead of 'I' or 'me',"

"Oh, right that!" Warwick realized. "See, I always figured they say that because they're representing their whole country. Like, 'we' refers to 'me plus those I represent'. And I don't have a country yet, so, uh, yeah. There's no 'we' to be had right now."

"That makes sense," Isidora nodded. "So you will start using it when you do get a country?"

"I might," Warwick said. "We'll see how I feel when I get there. Countries are expensive, and one of us needs to win before I can get one."

"Oh, uh..." Isidora trailed off.

"What's wrong?" Warwick asked.

"...We can talk about it later," Isidora said.

"Well, it's just going to worry me all day if you don't tell me now," Warwick pouted.

"Look, just..." Isidora sighed. "Let me come up with the words for it, and I'll tell you when I'm ready. It's not something I can just come out and say."

"Alright," Warwick said unsurely.

"I'll talk to you later," Isidora said distantly as she left.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I mean, I guess it's sweet that Warwick cares this much about me, but I can't keep leading him on like this. He genuinely thinks I'm going to be his queen and that I'm going to support him. I am not. Even if he wasn't sort of annoying, which he is, to be honest, I'm not just going to change my life for his sake. Now I just need to figure out how to tell him...

 **Warwick:** I wonder what's troubling my queen. She's always been the reserved type, so the fact that she's considering telling me at all makes me feel good, you know? Like she really trusts me.

* * *

Zarardo had led Stormy~ behind the washrooms to talk.

"Alright, Stormy~. Amelie and I have been talking about how to recover from losing Jasper," Zarardo said. "I have an idea, but I'm not sure you're going to like it."

"What is it?" Stormy~ asked tentatively.

"Well, there's an alliance of five, yes?" Zarardo asked rhetorically. "And five people who aren't part of the alliance: us, Ursula, and Warwick. What I'm thinking is that we try and convince Ursula and Warwick to join up with us, and get someone from the big alliance to join us as well."

"Why wouldn't I like thi- Oh no! You don't mean...?" Stormy~ realized.

"Yes, I think we should get Hugh to join us," Zarardo clarified.

"Whyyyyyyyyy?" Stormy~ whined.

"From what Amelie's told me, Hugh has a reputation of backstabbing people," Zarardo explained.

"No kidding! How do you think I went home in the first place?" Stormy~ huffed.

"If anyone's going to turn on that alliance, it's Hugh," Zarardo continued.

"Hugh only backstabs people if he's in danger or if he doesn't like the people he's aligned with," Stormy~ pointed out. "Are you sure there's no one else? What about Genesis or Isidora? Were they backstabby?"

"Now that you mention it, Genesis did backstab her alliance halfway through the premerge..." Zarardo thought aloud. "There might be something to that. It might be hard getting Warwick to vote for us, so if we can get Hugh AND Genesis, we could still make it through this."

"I guess, but let it be known that I am NOT working with Hugh any more than necessary," Stormy~ frowned.

"You've made this abundantly clear," Zarardo remarked. "I guarantee that we can vote for Hugh as soon as it's convenient, but right now, thanks to Amelie getting Jasper out, we have our work cut out for us to catch back up."

"I understand," Stormy~ said.

"Excellent," Zarardo smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Stormy~:** I am kind of annoyed that Hugh keeps on surviving because people always seem to find people they'd rather be voting off, but I think he's just been getting lucky. Sooner or later, his luck will run out.

 **Zarardo:** The key at this point is convincing Genesis and/or Hugh that backstabbing the big alliance is a good idea. I think I can do that, but I know Genesis is smarter than she portrays herself to be, so convincing her might be difficult. And if I don't think I can trust her, I'll just do what I can to cut her.

* * *

Genesis found Tori working out in the forest.

"Good morning, Tori," Genesis texted with a smile.

"Good morning," Tori responded as he continued to focus on her workout.

"I don't think we've really gotten much of a chance to converse, so I figured we should fix that, being allies and all," Genesis texted.

"What do you want to talk about?" Tori asked.

"Um, am I interrupting something?" Genesis texted as Tori continued her workout.

"I'm not going to cease working out," Tori said. "If you want to converse, then you'll have to ignore that."

"Well..." Genesis texted. "What do you think we should do going into this round? Should we stick with voting for Amelie, or should we go for a different target?"

"It makes no difference to me," Tori responded. "So long as our alliance remains strong, I'd be fine with voting for Amelie, or Stormy~, or Ursula, or Zarardo."

"Now that you've listed them out, Zarardo sounds like someone we should go for," Genesis texted. "He's a mental threat, and he's no slouch physically or socially either. He could be dangerous."

"Alright," Tori responded.

Silence.

"So... you and Quentin?" Genesis texted.

"Quentin is the best thing to happen to me in a long, long time," Tori smiled. "He's saved me multiple times, even at the cost of his own game. He's truly selfless."

"Sounds like someone's got it bad," Genesis texted with a playful smirk.

"You would, too, if you had truly known him," Tori responded. "Was there anyone you had your eye on in this game?"

"I mean, Ephraim's pretty good-looking, but I've never spoken with him, let alone had any chemistry," Genesis texted.

"I can't see you two being romantic, I have to admit," Tori said.

"Oh well. I didn't come to this game for romance anyway," Genesis texted.

"Neither did I, and look what happened anyway," Tori said.

"Brag about it, why don't you?" Genesis texted as she playfully rolled her eyes.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I guess it'll rest upon the other girls to pass the Bechdel test today. _(She silently chuckles.)_ Actually, being mute hasn't really harmed my chances with boys in the past. If anything, I think it might have helped. Girls like me don't usually get asked to homecoming by the quarterback without some pity factor, that's all I'm saying.

 **Tori:** If you had told me at the start of the game that I'd come out of here with an amazing boyfriend, I'd probably scoff in your face. I hope Quentin's holding up well underground.

* * *

Hugh relaxed on his bed in the boys' cabin when Vardaman entered.

"Mornin', Hugh," Vardaman greeted.

"Hey," Hugh responded half-heartedly.

"Can you believe we made it to the final ten?" Vardaman smiled. "Out of twenty-six players, that ain't bad at all."

"That is pretty great," Hugh smirked. "And with our majority, making it even farther shouldn't be too hard."

"I'm real glad we're able to work with some of the old Boldface," Vardaman nodded. "What do you think of them, by the way? You talk to any of them?"

"Eh?" Hugh shrugged. "Genesis and I chat sometimes, but I don't think I've ever really talked with Isidora or, heaven forbid, Warwick. And then Ursula and Zarardo are probably going home really soon, so they're not worth it."

"I'm surprised you ain't tryin' to win Ursula's heart with your bad boy charms," Vardaman chuckled.

"Don't patronize me," Hugh leered. "Besides, she's taken, remember? She hooked up with Osric for whatever reason."

"That's right," Vardaman remembered. "Not sure how I keep forgetting that."

"Because who cares?" Hugh suggested. "Osric's not here, therefore, his relationship with Ursula has no bearing on this game."

"That's about as good an explanation as any, I suppose," Vardaman thought aloud. "You think we should take out Ursula soon?"

"I mean, she isn't really a threat," Hugh said. "She can't think for herself, she's not smart or strong enough to be a threat in any kind of challenge. I'd rather try and do something about the Amelie/Stormy~/Zarardo alliance. Preferably Stormy~ since she has it out for me, but I'm good with any of those three."

"That's definitely something we should address after tonight's challenge, when we know who's Invincible," Vardaman agreed. "I think we should do something about those three as well. They could be trouble down the line."

"We can always take out Ursula once that alliance has been dealt with," Hugh decided.

"Sounds good to me," Vardaman smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional;**

 **Vardaman:** Of all my allies, I think Hugh might be the most high-maintenance. He is a known backstabber, so making sure he's on my good side is important if I don't want him going against me. He seems to be agreeable enough if he's in a good mood, but with him, that doesn't happen real often. Guess I caught him at a good time.

 **Hugh:** I have to say, I appreciate that Vardaman isn't afraid to make the tough calls. You'd think someone like him would be all "Oh my stars and garters, strategy is such a mean way to play the game! Why can't we all just sing campfire songs and eat grits?" But he's actually got a decent head on his shoulders.

* * *

The ten campers all sat in the amphitheater bleachers as Chris stood on the stage.

"Welcome, campers, to the challenge!" Chris announced. "Although, calling this a 'challenge' might be a bit of a stretch, but regardless, Invincibility and even some rewards are on the line regardless!"

"Reward _s_?" Isidora asked. "Plural?"

"That's right," Chris confirmed as Lindsay handed each of the contestants a small wallet. "Today's challenge is the Total Drama auction. Here's how it's going to work: I'm going to put an item up for bidding. Sometimes, you'll know exactly what you're bidding for, other times, the item in question will be covered up, leaving it a mystery. You'll each start out with $200, and bidding will be in multiples of $10. The auction will end when we run out of items. The number of items will be a mystery to you, so make sure to bid while you still can. Any questions?"

"Do we get to keep the money we don't spend?" Ursula grinned.

"No," Chris said.

"What does this have to do with Invincibility?" Tori asked.

"One of the items may or may not contain Invincibility," Chris said.

Silence.

"Alright, let's get this challenge under way!" Chris announced.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ This is a challenge which requires you to call your bids quickly. Not good for me. I'll try, believe me, but I don't expect to end up with anything.

 **Stormy~:** Once, I was a part of an auction, and one of the things people bid on was a date with me. It wasn't the best date I've ever been on, let's put it that way.

 **Warwick:** An auction, eh? How intriguing. A challenge where we're all on equal footing. I wonder what I might end up with.

 **Zarardo:** The important thing here is making sure none of Isidora, Tori, or Vardaman win Invincibility because I want one of them gone tonight. If Chris doesn't cover up the Invincibility, I will spend all my money on it.

* * *

A pedestal had been set up on the stage. Lindsay brought the first item onto the stage and placed it onto the pedestal. The item was covered.

"Our first item will be a mystery," Chris said. "Who wants to make the first bid?"

"Two hundred!" Ursula shouted instantly.

"That was fast," Chris said flatly. "Since nobody can top that, the item is sold to Ursula by default for all of her money. Come up and claim your prize!"

Ursula got onto the stage and removed the cover from the item. It looked to be a DVD case.

"A badminton movie?" Ursula asked.

"No, _the_ badminton movie," Chris boasted. "Starring yours truly, of course. That'll be $200."

Ursula grumbled as she handed Chris all the money in her wallet.

"Ursula cannot bid on any more items. It's time to bring out the next item," Chris smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** _(She is looking at the movie box.)_ Seems like this has zombies in it. So that's pretty cool. Not 'worth two hundred dollars' cool, but I probably could have gotten something worse.

 **Stormy~:** I've always wanted to star in a movie! It seems so _sugoi_ being the main star of a story. I hope I'll be the main star of this game!

* * *

As Lindsay brought the next, uncovered item onto the pedestal, several of the campers' eyes went wide.

"Our next item, as you can see, is a steak dinner," Chris said. "In addition to the medium-rare flank steak, cooked to perfection, this plate comes with garlicky mashed potatoes and seasoned broccolini. Who's going to start bidding?"

"I bid fifty!" Warwick declared.

"Sixty," Vardaman said.

"Gasp! I shan't let you claim this!" Warwick gasped. "This dinner is mine!"

"I could use a good steak dinner," Vardaman shrugged. "It's been too long."

"Didn't you get meat from that one reward?" Warwick asked.

"Yes, but I can't cook a meal as good-lookin' as this," Vardaman said, his mouth watering.

"One hundred!" Warwick called.

Silence.

"Going once. Twice," Chris said. "Sold to Warwick!"

"Yes!" Warwick cheered. He ran up to the stage and handed Chris $100 in exchange for the plate of food.

"This brings Warwick down to only $100," Chris said. "Time for the next item."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** What sort of king would I be if I didn't dine like a king? Food is one of life's greatest pleasures. I should hire whoever cooked this prize of mine to be my royal chef. It was most delicious!

 **Vardaman:** I figured that, since Warwick really wanted it anyway, letting him have it would get him to respect me a bit more. Keep him more loyal, you know? Besides, it never hurts to do something nice every once in a while, right?

* * *

Lindsay brought the next item onto the pedestal.

"The third item today," Chris said. "is a plate of freshly-baked chocolate chip cooki-"

"One hundred!" Warwick interrupted.

Silence.

"Uh, going once? Going twice? Sold to Warwick, I guess," Chris said.

"Excellent!" Warwick grinned as he ran up to the stage and claimed his cookies.

"Come on, guys! I want to see some bid wars here!" Chris complained.

"I don't partake of sweets," Tori said.

"If Warwick wants to blow all of his money, well, that's just one less person I have to worry about when it comes to the potentially important items," Zarardo smiled.

"Yeah, I'm not spending more than half my money on cookies," Genesis texted.

"Jokesh on you!" Warwick said with his mouth full. "They're delicioush!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** A wonderful dessert to a wonderful meal. I could get used to this kind of treatment.

 **Isidora:** I mean, if Warwick wants to spend all of his money on food, I wasn't going to stop him, even if those cookies were delicious. Yeah, he let me have one. It was actually really good. ...I still need to break up with him. Ugh, I am not looking forward to that...

* * *

Lindsay put the next item on the pedestal. This one was covered.

"Mystery item this time," Chris said. "Any bidders?"

"Ten," Hugh bid.

"Twenty," Zarardo bid in return.

"Thirty," Isidora bid.

"That's what I like to see," Chris grinned.

"Forty," Zarardo bid.

"Sixty," Hugh grinned.

"Eighty," Isidora bid.

"One hundred and ten," Zarardo increased.

Silence.

"Going once," Chris said. "Going twice. Sold to Zarardo for $110!"

Zarardo winced as he realized how much money he had spent. Regardless, he walked onto the stage and uncovered his item, a book.

"Cooking With Non-Traditional Meats: A Guide To Preparing Dishes Using Rat, Snake, and More, by Clay Hatchet," Zarardo read from the cover.

"Cooking with rat and snake?" Isidora asked. "I never took Zarardo to be a cannibal."

Zarardo rolled his eyes as he took his book and sat back down on the bleachers.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** This will make it a lot harder to win Invincibility for the night, but not impossible. That seems to be the theme for this round: hard, but not impossible.

 **Amelie:** I hope Zarardo doesn't expect me to eat anything containing rats or snakes. That doesn't sound healthy.

* * *

Lindsay brought another covered item onto the pedestal.

"This item will also be covered," Chris said. "Any takers?"

"I'll bid ten," Stormy~ said.

"Twenty," Hugh smirked.

"Mrgrgr..." Stormy~ growled. "One hundred!"

"Hundred ten," Hugh said nonchalantly.

"Don't let him get to you," Amelie whispered to Stormy~. "It might not even be a good item."

"120," Genesis texted.

Silence.

"Going once. Going twice," Chris said. "Sold to Genesis!"

"Did you just bid because I wanted it?" Stormy~ huffed at Hugh.

"Yes," Hugh scoffed. "You make it way too much fun."

Genesis came up and uncovered her prize, a large stone.

"Congratulations, Genesis!" Chris announced. "You won a rock!"

Genesis shot Chris an annoyed look.

"That's Charlie Brown as hell, dude," Ursula cackled.

Genesis shot Ursula the same look. She took her rock and sat back down on the bleachers.

"I don't suppose your cookbook can make any good use of this?" Genesis texted to Zarardo as she held up her rock.

"If I find a recipe that requires a stone, I'll let you know," Zarardo said flatly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ So I have $80 left to spend on potentially useful things. Why do I get the feeling that a lot of the items here are going to be completely worthless?

 **Tori:** There's definitely a risk you take when you go for a covered item. I think I'll save my money for an uncovered item that looks like it's worth getting.

* * *

Lindsay placed an uncovered item on the pedestal. This one appeared to be a small card.

"Our next item is a gift card!" Chris announced. "This $200 gift card is good at any Great Buys electronics store.

"10!" Genesis texted.

"Ninety," Stormy~ smiled.

Genesis shot Stormy~ an annoyed look.

"You don't even listen to music other than your own," Tori pointed out. "What are you going to buy at Great Buys?"

"I want my own video game system so I can play with Lester," Stormy~ pouted.

"One hundred," Hugh smirked.

" _Chikushō_ , Hugh!" Stormy~ shouted angrily. "Two hundred!"

"Can't top that. Sold to Stormy~!" Chris announced.

"Yay!" Stormy~ clapped as she went up to claim her prize.

"Eh, keep it. I can always just get Invincibility," Hugh said smugly.

"You can have it. At least I have a boyfriend I can play video games with," Stormy~ chirped.

"I could totally get a boyfriend to play video games with!" Hugh insisted. "...Wait!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Stormy~:** Lester told me that people across the world from each other can still play video games together if they have the right system and games! How cool! Although, if I get the Japanese version, will it still work with his English version? I hope so.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I was hoping I could buy myself a new phone, since this one's old and wearing out. I guess I can just get a new phone with the prize money after I win.

* * *

Lindsay placed a covered item onto the pedestal.

"Another mystery item," Chris said. "Any takers?"

"I'll bid ten," Isidora decided.

"Twenty," Zarardo bid.

"50," Genesis texted.

"One hundred," Hugh smirked.

"I don't think we'll be getting anything else in this auction," Zarardo muttered to Genesis.

Genesis nodded in agreement.

"One-ten," Vardaman bid.

"One-twenty," Isidora bid.

"One-fifty," Hugh bid.

Silence.

"Going once. Going twice," Chris said.

"One-sixty," Isidora bid.

"One-seventy," Hugh bid.

"One-ninety," Isidora bid.

Silence.

"Going once-" Chris said.

"Fine! Two hundred!" Hugh decided.

"Sold to Hugh!" Chris announced. "Come and see what you got.

Hugh came up to claim his prize. He uncovered the item, a piece of paper.

"'Congratulations'," Hugh read. "'You have won Invincibility for this round! You are safe tonight and cannot be voted out!' Sweet!"

"That's right. Hugh has won Invincibility!" Chris announced. "The auction's not over, though, so let's continue!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** I had a feeling this one would be Invincibility. Just a hunch. Not sure if Isidora did too, or she just wanted me to blow all my money, but the joke's on her, I guess. Final nine, baby!

 **Amelie:** I thought that one might be Invincibility, but everyone else was going so fast, I didn't really have a chance to place a bid. Oh well. _(She frowns.)_

* * *

Lindsay placed the next item onto the pedestal. This one looked like a small wooden bust in Lindsay's image.

"This, campers, is the Lindsay Statue!" Chris announced. "If the Lindsay Statue is played before a challenge, the person who played it will gain an advantage in the challenge."

"Two hundred," Tori instantly bid.

"Well. That was fast," Chris said. "The Lindsay Statue goes to Tori."

"Excellent," Tori smiled as she went up to claim her item.

"That means half of you are all out of money," Chris noted. "Genesis still has $80, Zarardo still has $90, and Amelie, Isidora, and Vardaman all still have $200."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Tori:** _(She is holding the Lindsay Statue.)_ I figure that, with this statue in my possession, it will make it much harder for someone else to win Invincibility. If I come across a challenge I don't think I can win, I can just play this, and it will give me the push I need to win.

 **Zarardo:** Another new statue? This late into the game? I did not account for this... I'll do what I can to make it disappears rather quickly.

* * *

Lindsay put another covered item onto the pedestal.

"Mystery item," Chris said. "Who wants it?"

"Ten?" Amelie bid.

"Twenty," Vardaman bid.

"Thirty," Ursula bid.

"Ursula, you don't have any money," Chris said flatly.

"Heh," Ursula chuckled.

"I'll bid thirty," Isidora said.

"Forty," Zarardo bid.

"A hundred," Isidora bid.

"God dammit," Zarardo grumbled.

"One hundred and ten," Amelie bid.

"One twenty," Vardaman bid.

"One-thirty," Ursula bid.

"Ursula," Chris scolded.

"Heh," Ursula chuckled.

"Eh, screw it. Two hundred," Isidora shrugged. "The auction can't be lasting that much longer."

"Sold to Isidora!" Chris announced. "Come up and claim your prize!"

Isidora went onto the stage and uncovered the item, which looked to be a couple bills.

"Five hundred dollars?" Isidora asked.

"Yep!" Chris confirmed. "Yours to keep. They aren't usable in the challenge, but after this, you can do whatever you want with it."

"Cool. I'll take it," Isidora decided.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I mean, it probably won't help my game in the long run, but I'm not going to turn down free money.

 **Ursula:** Hey, it gets boring when you've blown all your money in the first round and need to wait for the challenge to end. Thought I'd have a little fun, you know?

* * *

Lindsay put yet another covered item onto the pedestal.

"You all know the drill. Start your bids!" Chris announced.

"Three hundred!" Ursula bid.

"Ursula!" Chris scolded.

"Alright, I'll stop," Ursula snickered.

"One hundred," Vardaman bid.

Genesis and Zarardo shared an annoyed look with each other.

"One hundred and ten?" Amelie bid.

"You and I are the only ones who can bid, I think," Vardaman told Amelie. "How badly do you want this?"

"You can have it," Amelie said. "I'll take the next one."

"Mighty kind of you," Vardaman said with a tip of his hat. "Two hundred."

"Sold to Vardaman!" Chris announced.

Vardaman went up to claim his item. He uncovered it to find a piece of paper.

"'Congratulations'," Vardaman read. "'You have won a dinner date with Lindsay! You will spend the entirety of time between the challenge and marshmallow ceremony on a fancy dinner cruise with Lindsay, featuring a lovely four-course meal'."

"Yay!" Lindsay clapped.

"Thus concludes the Total Drama Auction!" Chris announced. "Amelie, Genesis, Zarardo, please return all the money you still have. Vardaman, follow Lindsay to the dinner cruise ship. You all have the rest of the day to decide who you want to vote out."

"What about me?" Vardaman asked.

"Oh, right," Chris realized. "Um... go cast your vote real quick."

"Do I get to talk to anyone about it?" Vardaman asked.

"Just me," Lindsay smiled.

Vardaman sighed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Kind of a double-edged reward there, ain't it? I get a nice dinner, and a break away from the stress of the game, but at the same time, I won't know how anyone's voting tonight.

 **Hugh:** I'm not sure if I'd rather be Invincible, or on a date with Lindsay right now. Eh, at least I didn't end up with a rock.

* * *

Genesis, Hugh, Isidora, Tori, and Warwick all met up in the forest.

"So, any ideas?" Genesis texted.

"Do any of us have any idea how Vardaman may have voted?" Tori asked.

"He and I talked about the possibility of voting for one of Amelie, Stormy~, or Zarardo earlier today," Hugh said. "So he probably voted for one of them."

"Did he lean towards one of them in particular?" Tori asked.

"I don't think so," Hugh said. "Knowing him, he probably voted for Zarardo. Too much of a 'gentleman' to vote out one of the mostly harmless girls, you know?"

"Then I declare that we do the same!" Warwick decided.

"I'm more than fine with it," Isidora added. "I know he has no chance of working with me."

"Then it's decided," Genesis texted. "We vote for Zarardo."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Tori:** Even if Vardaman didn't vote for Zarardo, our vote should still be the majority. Five votes against a split other five votes means that we'll still have all the power. _(She smiles confidently.)_

 **Isidora:** It's kind of poetic, isn't it? Zarardo shows up, kicks me out of my own alliance, then Warwick kicks Zarardo out, joins my new alliance, and now we're voting out Zarardo. He dug his own grave the moment he kicked me out of that alliance.

 **Warwick:** I have to say, I quite enjoy this new alliance over my old ones! My allies seem to actually be competent and able to get things done! I truly am the one in power on this island!

* * *

Amelie, Stormy~, and Zarardo met up on the Dock of Shame.

"So what's the plan?" Stormy~ asked eagerly. "Did you come up with a target?"

"I'm thinking of talking to Genesis, Hugh, and perhaps Ursula, and seeing what they might want," Zarardo said. "As a reminder, since Amelie got rid of a valuable number on our side, and, since I fear that Warwick might have joined the big alliance, I'm banking on Genesis and/or Hugh to turn on them. I think I can make a case for them to backstab Tori."

"What's your case?" Amelie asked curiously.

"Well, quite simply, she has the Lindsay Statue now," Zarardo said as he began playing with his Fushigi ball. "If she has that, on top of her existing challenge strength, she will be unstoppable and likely win, especially against those three, none of whom are particularly physically fit."

"That does make quite a lot of sense," Amelie nodded. "I take it you'll need my and Stormy~'s votes, too?"

"Of course," Zarardo said. "If we don't all vote for the same person, it will most likely be one of us going home tonight."

"I don't want to go home!" Stormy~ gasped.

"Then the choice is obvious, no?" Zarardo chuckled.

"Talk to us if the others want to vote for someone other than Tori," Amelie told Zarardo.

"Of course," Zarardo said. "If they want to vote out someone else from the big alliance, then more power to them."

"Yeah!" Stormy~ cheered.

"I'll go see what I can do," Zarardo said. "Wish me luck."

" _Ganbarou_!" Stormy~ called as Zarardo left.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** It's a gamble, but right now, a gamble is the only thing I can rely on. All I need is for Tori, or whoever, to go home tonight, and I can claw my way back into power.

 **Amelie:** I have to be honest, I'm not a huge fan of how Zarardo just kind of showed up, and all of a sudden he's deciding who I'm going to vote for. I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but I'm my own person... kind of. I should at least be able to have a say in who I vote for, right?

 **Stormy~:** Even though he and I never really talked when we were underground, I'm glad Zarardo came back with me! He's really smart and knows how strategy works, and he and I bonded a little bit over being returners, so he wants to help me!

* * *

Zarardo had gathered Genesis, Hugh, and Ursula at the base of the thousand-foot cliff.

"So what the hell'd you gather us here for, huh?" Hugh asked impatiently.

"I have a proposition for the three of you," Zarardo said. "It's quite clear to me that Tori is close with both Vardaman and Isidora, and that Isidora is close with Warwick. I don't see those four voting for each other anytime soon."

"Yeah, they're not voting for me anytime soon either, artard," Hugh pointed out. "In case you forgot, I'm aligned with them."

"Okay, say you all manage to succeed in eliminating Amelie, Stormy~, Ursula, and myself," Zarardo said. "Who do you think would go next?"

"Tori," Genesis texted. "Warwick," Hugh said at the same time.

"So who do you want to vote for, then?" Ursula asked.

"I would like to vote for Tori, but I'm open to suggestions," Zarardo said.

"Why Tori?" Genesis texted.

"She's very strong in challenges. If we keep her around for too long, she'll keep on winning them until she's utterly unable to be eliminated," Zarardo explained. "Her possession of the Lindsay Statue doesn't help matters."

"So you want us to backstab our ally. Cool," Hugh said. "What's in it for us? At the end of the day, we'd just be doing _you_ a favor."

"He's right," Genesis texted. "Sure, getting rid of a challenge threat can benefit us in the long run, but it's clear you're the one who wants to reap the benefits here. You'd be losing a challenge threat and someone who opposes you."

"Alright," Zarardo sighed. "If you vote for Tori tonight, I promise I will keep you off of my crosshairs for the next two rounds. And this applies to all three of you, and it applies regardless of whether or not she actually goes home."

"Well, I'm definitely in," Ursula said. "Got no one else to vote for."

Genesis and Hugh glanced at each other.

"I'll leave the two of you to think about it," Zarardo said. "I understand it's a big decision. You have until the votes are due to decide."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** Yeah, it figures that Genesis and Isidora are more loyal to the big alliance than to me. Eh, I guess being the swing vote isn't the worst position in the world. Being subtle isn't exactly something I'm used to, but playing subtle definitely seems to be in my best interest right now.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Zarardo's a sneaky son of a bitch. I know this because it's the reason I voted him off before. I'm not sure if he holds any kind of grudge towards me for that, but I don't think turning on my allies for his sake is in my best interest. Sorry, boo. _(She smiles smugly.)_

 **Hugh:** Eh, on one hand, I've been itching to backstab someone, but on the other hand, I don't think leaving my current alliance for an alliance with Amelie, Stormy~, and some guy I barely know is going to help me any.

* * *

Lindsay and Vardaman ate in the same room of the dinner cruise ship where the Screaming Italics had had their previous reward. The two were dressed up in fancy clothes and sat at a table, already with food ready.

"Kind of nice to be back here," Vardaman said. "Brings me back a bit."

"Brings you back where?" Lindsay asked.

"You know, this is where my team went on a reward back in round, oh what was it? Round four, I think?" Vardaman thought aloud. "This is actually where my alliance with Kelsey, Quentin, and Tori started. And it kept up as long as it could."

"Oh! Kelsey's almost feeling better, by the way. Her ankle, I mean," Lindsay told Vardaman.

"That's a relief," Vardaman said. "I trust she's got sufficient care down there?"

"We're not making her mine any coal on account of her injury," Lindsay said matter-of-factly.

"...Wait, mining coal?" Vardaman asked.

"...Oops. That was supposed to be a surprise," Lindsay admitted. "I'm not very good at keeping secrets."

"Ah, we all have our own little shortcomings," Vardaman said. "I think I'm honest to a fault, sometimes. So I'm not great at keeping secrets either. Sometimes I really have to work for it, especially in this game."

"Oh, I know, right?" Lindsay agreed. "I think I told everyone about my alliance with Heather within, like, two days of it happening."

"That's right. I forgot you played this game before," Vardaman recalled.

"Three times," Lindsay said proudly.

"...It was four times," Vardaman pointed out.

"It was?" Lindsay asked.

"Yeah. Island, Action, World Tour, and All-Stars," Vardaman listed.

"...Huh," Lindsay said, seeming genuinely confused. "Well, anyway, how are you doing in this game?"

"I think I'm doing pretty well," Vardaman said. "Gets kind of stressful sometimes, but I'm here to win. If I wasn't stressed out, I'd probably be doing it wrong."

"Co-hosting is a lot more fun," Lindsay said. "I don't have to worry about getting voted out."

"Do you ever miss playing this game?" Vardaman asked.

"I prefer making sure Chris doesn't hurt everyone too bad instead of having Chris hurt me too bad," Lindsay admitted.

"Makes sense," Vardaman nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I had a real good time with Lindsay. She's as sweet as pie, a great conversationalist, and a perfect lady, if not a bit of a ditz. I think I might have a type. _(He blushes as he chuckles nervously.)_

 **Lindsay:** Vardaman's a really sweet guy. I hope Tyler doesn't get too jealous. Heehee.

* * *

The ten campers all met up at the firepit for elimination. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"Alright. We're about to hit those single digits! Who's excited?" Chris asked excitedly.

No one responded.

"Ugh, alright fine," Chris said with an annoyed frown. "If you get a marshmallow, you're safe. If not, you've been voted out. Marshmallows go to..."

"Hugh."

"Isidora."

"Ursula."

"Warwick."

"Amelie."

"Vardaman."

"Genesis."

"Stormy~."

Tori and Zarardo glanced at each other. The both folded their arms, then looked back at Chris.

...

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"Zarardo."

"What?!" Tori gasped. "How... who... why... what?!"

"What in tarnation?" Vardaman asked.

Genesis and Hugh shared a glance. Genesis looked annoyed, while Hugh looked indifferent.

"If anyone wants to see Tori off, you can follow us to the Dock of Shame," Chris said. Everyone else can head to bed."

* * *

Tori, Genesis, Isidora, Vardaman, and Chris all came to the Dock of Shame.

"Wish I knew y'all'd vote for Zarardo," Vardaman said. "This is my fault."

"Who'd you vote for?" Isidora asked.

"Stormy~," Vardaman answered. "I figured that's who Hugh would push to eliminate."

"Don't blame yourself, Vardaman," Tori said. "Evidently, one of us turned on me. No, turned on us. Figure out who."

"Sorry you have to go," Genesis texted. "Just when we really started getting along."

"I suppose someone had to go home," Tori said. "I wish it wasn't me, but I suppose tenth place is far from the worst place I could have finished in."

"True. You made it far, Tori. I know Quentin will be proud," Vardaman smiled.

"Quentin... if there's any comfort in loss, it's that I get to see him again," Tori smiled.

"Tell the old goofball I say hi," Isidora nudged her friend.

"I shall," Tori said.

"All this sentiment is not becoming of the strong, silent type you're supposed to be," Chris gagged as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors.

"I'm going to miss you, Tori," Vardaman said.

"Me too," Isidora said.

Genesis nodded.

"I'll miss you all too, but the game shouldn't be much longer," Tori said. "We'll see each other soon. And do be mindful of the traitor, whoever they are."

"Bye," Vardaman waved goodbye as he, Genesis, and Isidora left the Dock of Shame. As they did, Tori entered the Elevator of Losers.

"Tori, you have finished the game in 10th place," Chris told her.

"It's unfortunate that I lost, and yet, I don't feel upset," Tori noted. "I suppose it is just a game, after all."

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater. Chris turned to the camera.

"Ten have become nine, and soon, nine will become eight," Chris said. "And based on tonight's elimination, it seems like there's some sneaking around going on with that big alliance."

"I hope they don't end up fighting too much," Lindsay said with concern as she entered the scene.

"I hope they end up fighting violently," Chris chuckled. Lindsay set off his shock collar. "Rude," he grumbled. "Anyway... will paranoia affect the big alliance? Will Ursula continue to get by without any genuine allies? Will Zarardo continue to lead Amelie and Stormy~?"

"Will things work out between Isidora and Warwick?" Lindsay asked. "Will Hugh and Stormy~ kiss and make up? Oh, wait, they shouldn't kiss. Stormy~'s already dating Lester. Never mind!"

"I can hardly wait to find out myself," Chris said.

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Vardaman:** No time to talk it over with everyone. I think Hugh said he'd rather see Stormy~ go over Amelie or Zarardo, so I'm going to vote for Stormy~ and hope he gets the rest of the alliance to do the same.

 **Isidora:** I've been wanting to do this ever since you came back. Zarardo, go home.

 **Amelie:** Well, no point in ruffling any feathers right now. I'm voting for Tori.

 **Warwick:** If the plan is to take out my old fool, then so be it! He was a fool for doing my fiancee wrong like that!

 **Stormy~:** I'm more than happy with voting Tori out after she insulted my music. Bye bye!

 **Tori:** Zarardo is a snake, of this I am sure. Losing him should make our time in the game much easier.

 **Zarardo:** Tori is a massive threat to us. Keeping her around would be most foolish. Thus... now you see her... now you don't!

 **Ursula:** I'm told Tori's voting for Zarardo... Eh, Zarardo actually approached me to talk about the vote. Tori didn't, so it's clear who values my vote more. So I vote for Tori.

 **Hugh:** You know what? Screw Tori! Every time I try to talk to her, she just gets all smug and patronizing at me, and, yeah, she really has no business keeping that Lindsay Statue. Tori, you may be my ally, but you're also rude and a huge threat, so get lost!

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I didn't want to do this, but I have to look out for myself here. Hugh told me he plans on voting for Tori, and I have no idea if Vardaman voted for Zarardo or not. I don't want to risk forcing a tie by voting for Zarardo because then I could go home the same way Yolonda did. If voting for Zarardo means I might go home, then I'm going to have to vote for Tori.

* * *

 _A/N: I was actually surprised at how much use I was able to get out of Tori. In early planning stages, she was just going to be an early boot because I didn't think I'd be able to do much with someone as quiet and asocial as she is, but as I began writing, I found myself enjoying writing for her more and more, and as plot ideas for her came into my head, I ended up bumping her boot more and more until she ended up at an impressive 10th place. I figure that, at around this point, she's about run her course, and there wasn't much else that could be done with her, so I think this is a fitting place for her to go. Not my favorite character ever, but someone who I ended up enjoying much more than I thought I would._


	20. Ep 19: Take A Bow

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, we had a less traditional challenge: the Total Drama Auction," Chris said. "Campers were given $200 each to bid on various items, both covered and uncovered. Some of them, like Genesis and Ursula, found themselves regretting their choices, while others, like Hugh and Warwick, walked away smiling."

"Nobody even got hurt!" Lindsay cheered.

"Yeah, that part wasn't my favorite, but seeing their faces when- eh, you know what? I'm not finishing that sentence. You're just going to shock me anyway," Chris grumbled.

"You're learning!" Lindsay beamed.

"Er, anyway, outside of the challenge, Genesis and Stormy~ discussed their differences in everyday life, Zarardo chewed out Amelie for voting Jasper out, and Isidora's considering dumping Warwick," Chris recapped.

"I hope they can make it!" Lindsay cried.

"Hugh ended up buying Invincibility in the auction, but that's not the only purchase that had a say in the elimination," Chris said. "Vardaman bought a dinner date with Lindsay, which meant he was away and wasn't able to discuss votes with anyone, leaving him to vote at random. Tori, meanwhile, bought the Lindsay Statue, which grants the user an advantage in the challenge. Having the Lindsay Statue put a huge target on her back, which led to Genesis and Hugh voting off their own ally."

"For the record, it was a lovely, platonic dinner date," Lindsay smiled.

"I'm surprised you even know what 'platonic' means, frankly," Chris remarked.

"I have a word-a-day calendar this year," Lindsay explained. "I wanted to bolster my vocabulary. That's another word from my calendar: bolster!"

"Fascinating," Chris said dryly. "Things are getting more and more tangled. Will Genesis and/or Hugh be outed for voting out Tori? Will Ursula continue to be a floater? Will Zarardo continue to gain power over the game?

"Will Isidora and Warwick stay a couple?" Lindsay asked. "That's all I really care about here!"

"I mean, they probably won't, so..." Chris said.

"You stop it!" Lindsay pouted.

"Find out, right here, on Total!" Chris started.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

Vardaman found Hugh relaxing in the boys' cabin.

"Morning, Hugh," Vardaman greeted.

"Morning," Hugh responded back.

"So... what do you think about Tori leaving?" Vardaman asked.

"She would have destroyed us if she had stuck around much longer," Hugh said. "So I don't mind that she's out."

"You don't mind that your longtime ally's been voted out?" Vardaman asked.

"She and I weren't close," Hugh shrugged. "In fact, I'm pretty sure we both low-key couldn't stand each other. Besides, we have Genesis, Isidora, and Warwick now. And in the final nine, that's still a majority."

"Well, in order for Tori to go, one of the five of us would have to have voted for her last night," Vardaman pointed out.

"Don't worry, I plan on sticking with you guys," Hugh assured him.

"So you admit that it was you?" Vardaman asked, taken aback somewhat.

"Hiding it will only make me seem more suspicious, won't it?" Hugh explained. "I knew that Tori's a challenge beast, and that, if she was allowed to stay in the game with the Lindsay Statue, she'd probably win this whole game. There was a push to get rid of her, so I took advantage of it. Nothing against the rest of the alliance. I just made a move that I thought would help all our games in the long run."

"I can't deny that Tori'd be tough to beat, but this ain't exactly making you look trustworthy," Vardaman pointed out.

"Tch. I have no reason to turn on this alliance for good," Hugh said. "I like you guys, and I know the other guys can't stand me. Besides, like I said, majority. You don't have to worry about me backstabbing anyone anymore. I may be a bad boy, but I'm not stupid."

"Well, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, because you do make some good points," Vardaman said. "But don't be surprised if people start mistrusting you for this."

"Anyone who'd mistrust me after that already mistrusted me to start with," Hugh said cockily. "I'm good."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** I'm in a comfy position in this game. I'm in a majority alliance, all my enemies are in the minority, and, although I am unmistakably a bad boy, I'm not really a big challenge threat, so there's no real reason for my allies to vote me out after we get rid of all the other guys.

 **Vardaman:** I'm starting to wonder how much longer we should keep Hugh around. He's kind of a loose cannon, and he's getting real cocky like he's untouchable. He's really starting to get on my nerves, you know? I don't think we should get rid of him too soon because we do need his vote, and I think Zarardo's alliance wants him out, so he could be a good vote shield. But I don't want to keep him much longer than we really have to.

* * *

Ursula awoke in the girls' cabin to find that only Isidora was still there, reading a book.

"What time is it?" Ursula asked groggily.

Isidora checked her watch. "Eleven-ish," Isidora answered.

"Shoot, did I really sleep in that long?" Ursula asked.

"Must be cozy not taking a side in the alliance war," Isidora commented.

"I've definitely felt worse in this game," Ursula chuckled. "You know, we've never really gotten the chance to connect, have we? Despite being on the same team."

"Well, what do we have in common?" Isidora asked as she marked her book and shut it. "I'm a logical, book-reading, indoorsy girl who doesn't really like people all that much. You're a chaotic, horror-obsessed, outgoing girl who wears her emotions on her sleeve. The only word we have in common there is 'girl', and that's not really something to base a connection on."

"You'd be surprised," Ursula said.

"If you can give me something we'd both want to talk about because we both have ovaries, then do tell," Isidora said facetiously.

"It's not that," Ursula said. "It's an emotional thing. There are things we girls just get that guys just wouldn't understand."

"Like what?" Isidora asked.

"Er... I don't know. I'm being put on the spot here," Ursula admitted. "My point is, just because we're different doesn't mean we can't be friends, you know?"

"Again, if you can find something we'd both like to talk about, I'm all ears," Isidora said.

"I swear to you that I will!" Ursula decided. "But first: breakfast! Er, lunch. Brunch? ...Food! First: food!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** I do see what Isidora means in that there's probably not a lot we have in common, but hey, I don't have that much in common with Osric or Naomi, and I'm friends with them, right? I guess we're all kind of outgoing, but he's a nerd who's very, uh, open about his, uh, interests, she's a ditz who likes to rollerskate, and I'm admittedly an emotional girl who likes horror. I think I can connect with Isidora if I try hard enough, you know?

 **Isidora:** Ursula's definitely not the gameplay type, and I'm not sure that's something I want in a new friend at this point in the game. We're at the final nine, and I'm going to want allies who aren't afraid to actually play the game, not just coast by under the radar while everyone else takes each other out. I know Ursula voted for Tori, otherwise, Tori wouldn't have gone home, and getting her vote might not be the worst thing in the world, but, I don't know, being social is Vardaman's thing, not mine. I'll leave that up to him.

* * *

Amelie led Stormy~ behind the washrooms.

"Ooh, this is where all the really private talks happen~" Stormy~ noted.

"Yeah, there's something I wanted to discuss with you," Amelie admitted.

"What is it?" Stormy~ asked.

"Well..." Amelie trailed off. "Do you, you know, like Zarardo?"

"I'm dating Lester, silly. Remember?" Stormy~ giggled.

"Not _like_ like him. Just like him in general?" Amelie clarified.

"Sure. He's smart, and he's helping us out when we need it," Stormy~ nodded.

"I don't know," Amelie said. "I'm not a huge fan of how he showed up out of nowhere and began telling us how to vote."

"Well, neither of us are very good with strategy," Stormy~ pointed out. "Why not have someone help us with it?"

"I guess..." Amelie said. "I guess I'm still upset at him getting on my case for voting for Jasper. Jasper was a bad person, and he was targeting me besides. I think I'm allowed to vote for him if I want to. I don't know, he just seems... really controlling, you know?"

"I never really noticed," Stormy~ said. "I don't really have anything against him, but I understand why you do."

"I take it you want to stick with him, then?" Amelie asked.

"Of course!" Stormy~ said cheerfully.

"That makes sense," Amelie said quietly. "Thanks for listening to me."

"Of course! What are friends for?" Stormy~ asked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Stormy~:** I can understand both Amelie's and Zarardo's sides of the whole "Amelie voted for Jasper" thing. I don't want to take a side because both of them are my friend, so I'm just going to hope it solves itself while I stand back and look cute.

 **Amelie:** I was going to ask Stormy~ if she wanted to try and make allies other than Zarardo, but I get the feeling that that isn't happening. I hope Zarardo realizes we're in the minority and tries to rope people in himself because I'm kind of worried about my position in the game right now. What else is new?

* * *

As Genesis ate breakfast, Warwick sat across from her.

"Good morrow, peasant!" Warwick greeted.

Genesis merely rolled her eyes in response.

"Come on! I get that you can't talk, but a wave or something would at least be polite!" Warwick huffed.

Genesis picked up her phone and began to type.

"What do you want?" she texted.

"To talk," Warwick said. "To converse. To socialize!"

"With someone who hasn't finished her coffee?" Genesis texted.

"Do you ever think about the people we've voted out?" Warwick asked.

"Right now I'm thinking about my coffee," Genesis texted as she took a sip.

"Sometimes I think about the people we've voted out," Warwick continued.

"So you're ignoring me, okay," Genesis texted. "I guess I think about them sometimes. I miss Naomi and Osric, but the rest, I never really grew attached to."

"Urg, Naomi. I don't miss her," Warwick grumbled. "She was a whelp."

"Is there _anyone_ you miss?" Genesis texted.

"Yolonda made delicious food. I miss that," Warwick said. "I guess what makes me think about everyone who's gone is the satisfaction of having defeated them. Lester, Xingrong, Ronoc, Yolonda, Osric, Fauna, Naomi, Phoenix, Jasper, Tori... I've been up for elimination so many times, and yet they've all left over me. Verily, I do have the power all the naysayers said I didn't!"

"You were close to leaving when Yolonda left," Genesis texted. "And we won on the day Fauna left; she just quit."

"My point stands," Warwick said. "Besides, you're one to talk. You'd be long gone if you didn't have your Invincibility Statue."

"True," Genesis texted. "What a vote that was. Two statue plays and Osric gets blindsided with two votes against him. Mistakes were definitely made that night."

"Didn't you just say you missed Osric? Why'd you vote for him, anyway?" Warwick asked.

"I wanted to keep Fauna on my good side," Genesis texted. "A lot of good that did since she quit three days later. So not only did I backstab my friend, it was all for nothing. The moral of the story is to not backstab your friends."

"Joke's on that moral! I only have one friend, and she and I will rule... whatever my country will be called... together!" Warwick boasted.

Genesis gave Warwick an amused look.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I don't know why Warwick keeps proclaiming his supposed relationship with Isidora to the world. It's only going to make both of them targets. And also I'm not sure she's really into him. Either way, all he's doing is embarrassing himself.

 **Warwick:** Now that I think about it, Genesis and I have never really gotten along amazingly in the past, but I figured it'd be worth at least trying to talk to her. If we're going to be a strong royal council, we need to not hate each other!

* * *

Zarardo found Ursula hanging out in the pet cemetery.

"Ursula, there you are," Zarardo said with a friendly smile.

"Oh. Hey, Zarardo. What's up," Ursula greeted.

"I just wanted to thank you for voting for Tori last night," Zarardo said. "We couldn't have done it without you."

"What can I say? Tori was a threat, and a threat who never talked to me anyway," Ursula said.

"And now the game will be made easier for us with her gone," Zarardo said. "Actually, how would you like to join my alliance permanently?"

"Huh?" Ursula asked.

"You'd be joining me, Amelie, Stormy~, possibly Hugh or Genesis if they flip from the big alliance permanently," Zarardo listed. "We've been aligned before. You know you can trust me."

"Sorry, but I'll pass," Ursula said nonchalantly.

"What?" Zarardo asked, his brow furrowed. "Why?"

"I'm going sans alliance right now," Ursula said.

"Why on earth would you think that's a good idea?" Zarardo asked.

"Being in alliances before has only caused me drama," Ursula said. "Someone will always vote differently from how they say they will, and I feel betrayed, and I get all angry and spiteful, and it's just no fun."

"That may work near the start of the game, but we're nearing the end of the game," Zarardo said. "You cannot win without an alliance. Every winner of this game has been in at least one alliance. Owen was in a guys' alliance. Duncan was in an alliance with Harold and LeShawna. Alejandro was aligned with a vast number of contestants. Cameron and Mike were both aligned with each other and with Zoey. David was aligned with a lot of people too."

"And what about Sky?" Ursula asked.

"Er... she worked with Shawn and Jasmine," Zarardo said. "That season didn't really have any strategy anyway. It was a shorter season."

"You're grasping," Ursula chuckled. "But yeah, I don't need an alliance to win. You'll see."

"You are making a colossal mistake," Zarardo said.

"I came onto this show to have fun. I don't need an alliance to have fun," Ursula said.

"You'll need one if you want to continue being in this game," Zarardo said as he shook his head and left.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** It seems like people have forgotten what made Total Drama cool in the first place: the zaniness! The over-the-top antics! The chaos! Everyone else is an alliance right now, and that's just not my thing. I'm just going to let the alliances get rid of each other while I keep enjoying myself, and then I'll swoop in for the win.

 **Zarardo:** Does Ursula really believe she'll get away with this? If I wasn't so desperately in need of numbers anyway, I'd vote her off tonight. But I was able to get her to vote with me last night, and I can continue to do so in the future. Until I no longer need her, of course, at which point, I'll make her disappear.

* * *

As Genesis continued to eat breakfast, Vardaman sat across from her with a plate of his own.

"Morning," Vardaman greeted.

Genesis downed the rest of her cup of coffee before picking up her phone and typing.

"Hey, we still have that alliance of just us, right?" Genesis texted.

Vardaman looked around the room to make sure no one else was there. No one else was.

"We do," Vardaman nodded. "I guess we haven't had much of a chance to talk about it, have we?"

"No, and that's why I brought it up," Genesis texted. "Just to make sure it's still a thing. I think we can do some great things in this game if we work together."

"Did you have something in mind?" Vardaman asked.

"I would like to break up the Isidora/Warwick duo soon by voting out Warwick, but obviously we should wait until we have more of Zarardo's alliance eliminated," Genesis texted.

"That definitely seems like a smart move," Vardaman nodded. "Between you and me, I'm actually thinking about getting rid of Hugh when it's convenient. He's starting to get on my nerves."

"If he's only starting to get on your nerves, then you're a more patient person than I," Genesis texted with a silent chuckle. "I can get behind that as well, but I know that Isidora and Warwick will be loyal to each other over any of us, so if one of them decides they no longer need us, that could be problematic."

"Maybe, but Hugh ain't really loyal to anyone but himself," Vardaman pointed out. "He outright told me he's the one who voted for Tori last night. He swears he's still loyal to us, but I don't know..."

"That's also a good point," Genesis texted. "We'll have a lot to discuss over the days. For now, we should focus on doing something about Zarardo's alliance."

"Oh, definitely," Vardaman agreed. "You think we should talk to Ursula about it? I'm sure she voted for Tori last night too."

"I think you'd have better luck there than I would," Genesis texted. "Ursula and I have kind of a history. We've more or less patched things up, but I still think she'd be more inclined to listen to you than to me."

"Gotcha," Vardaman nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ So, nobody has any reason to suspect that I voted for Tori too. That's good since I only did it out of necessity. Now we just have to make sure things continue to go smoothly. Zarardo is the only real strategic force who isn't a part of the big alliance, so once we get rid of him, things should be a lot easier for me.

 **Vardaman:** Going in, I didn't want to play a strategic game, but I have to admit, as it's become more and more necessary, I think I'm getting a knack for it. I'm definitely going to have to keep it up if I want to win, because if people were willing to vote out Tori for being a threat, I could very well be next.

* * *

Hugh sat atop Mt. Looming Disaster, when Amelie made it to the top.

"The hell are you doing here?" Hugh asked, taken aback.

"I just wanted to see if I could make it," Amelie admitted. "It took a couple hours, but I did it."

"Yeah, well, this is my alone place, so unless you've suddenly decided you're hopelessly in love with me, screw off," Hugh said.

"...So if I really was in love with you, you'd be fine with me being here?" Amelie asked curiously.

"Wh-Why? Are you?" Hugh asked.

"No, but that's pretty telling," Amelie said. "We've been against each other for the entire game, but you'd be willing to look past that if it meant a relationship with me. Do you... you know... _like_ me?"

"Wh-What kind of question is that?!" Hugh scowled. "I'm a bad boy. I don't 'like' chicks, I just want to bang them."

"I'm not so sure," Amelie thought aloud. "Hugh, this bad boy thing is your way of trying to get girls to like you, isn't it?"

"Well, it's working, isn't it?" Hugh smirked.

"Not that I've noticed," Amelie admitted. "Hugh, are you normally this mean, or are you playing it up hoping that it'll get girls to like you?"

"Tch. I'm the baddest boy in the game," Hugh insisted.

"Why are you trying so hard to prove it?" Amelie asked curiously.

"Since when are you so invested in me?" Hugh asked, flustered. "In case you've forgotten, your best friend wants me voted out. How do you think she'd feel if she knew you're trying to get to know me?"

"I'm just curious," Amelie admitted. "If you want girls to like you, Hugh, you shouldn't put up a facade like this. You should let them see the real you."

"I _have_ let them see the real me, and they're never interested!" Hugh snapped. He slapped his hand over his mouth. "I... I mean... Go away! This conversation is over!"

"For now, maybe, but I want to talk to you some more about this," Amelie said as she began her descent of the mountain. "...Um, this is actually terrifying. How do you get down?"

"Don't look down, artard," Hugh scowled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** I don't know what Amelie's obsession with trying to figure me out comes from, but screw that! Girls don't care about guys' feelings or anything. They just want to screw the ones who turn them on, and the ones who turn them on are, more often than not, bad boys. That's just the way the world works!

 **Amelie:** Well, I didn't expect to learn about how Hugh's mind works this morning, but now I'm kind of interested in how he thinks? Is there a reason why he's being so mean? Is there a method to his madness?

* * *

Stormy~ took a swim at the beach when Zarardo approached her.

"Good morning, Zarardo!" Stormy~ greeted cheerily. "How are you this morning?"

"I've been better," Zarardo admitted. "I talked to Ursula about maybe joining our alliance, but she turned me down because she 'doesn't want any alliances'. Give me a break."

"How does she expect to get by without allies?" Stormy~ asked curiously.

"I asked her that myself, and I still have no idea," Zarardo said as he shook his head.

"...Say, do you ever miss the people back in the mine?" Stormy~ asked.

"Not particularly," Zarardo said. "I didn't make any real connections down there."

"You should have," Stormy~ said. "If I didn't, I wouldn't have ended up with my Lester-bear."

"Perhaps," Zarardo said. "I did perform tricks for people every once in a while, but, like I said, I never connected to anyone on a personal level."

"Didn't you want to make friends?" Stormy~ asked.

"I didn't have much time to after I left," Zarardo said. "You were voted off fairly early, so you had time to connect with people. I was gone for, what? Four or five rounds before I came back. Not a lot of time to really get to know people."

"But you had time to connect with people when you were in the game, didn't you?" Stormy~ asked.

"I suppose, but I spent more time focused on the game when I was in the game, surprisingly enough," Zarardo said.

"I guess that makes sense. You are pretty smart," Stormy~ smiled.

"I like to think so," Zarardo chuckled as he began playing with his Fushigi ball. "If nothing else, I at least know that you need alliances to make it far in this game."

"Even I know that," Stormy~ giggled.

"You and I especially are going to need allies if we want to survive," Zarardo said. "We're in the minority here, and Ursula isn't exactly helping."

"What about Amelie?" Stormy~ asked.

"She's on our side too, although I'm not sure how willing she is to stick to a plan," Zarardo said. "She's very emotional."

"I think she's just scared," Stormy~ said. "She's always been kind of timid."

"Perhaps, but regardless of why she does what she does, we still need her to stick with us," Zarardo said. "If she ever talks to you about deviating from the plan, be sure to tell me, and try to talk her out of it as well."

"You got it!" Stormy~ saluted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** It's strange how being gone for just a couple rounds can put you at an immense disadvantage when you come back. People made deals and alliances without me being able to do the same, and it's left me and poor Stormy~ in the dust. Of course, we can and will catch up.

 **Stormy~:** I still don't know a lot about the ins and outs of strategy, but I think I'm starting to get a grasp on it. Basically, you want people to like you and trust you, and alliances are a good way to do that. So... should I start making alliances with everyone else? Wait, but then I wouldn't be able to vote anyone off. ...This is hard.

* * *

Isidora led Warwick to the top of the thousand-foot cliff.

"You didn't have to take me all the way up here," Warwick said. "Are you feeling alright? Dizzy? Lightheaded?"

"I'm fine," Isidora said quietly. She took a deep breath. "So, you know how something was bothering me yesterday, and I said I'd tell you when I'd found the words?"

"Are you ready to tell me?" Warwick asked.

"I don't think I'll ever be _ready_ , but here goes," Isidora took another deep breath. "Warwick, how much do you trust me?"

"I trust you with my life in this game," Warwick said.

"How long have you trusted me with your life in this game?" Isidora asked.

"Ever since you agreed to be my queen," Warwick answered. "That's quite the commitment, and it proved that you weren't just riding the alliance for safety."

"Oh, how a couple days can change a person..." Isidora muttered. "Warwick... I haven't always been as trustworthy as you might have thought."

"...What do you mean?" Warwick asked, growing nervous.

"Let's just say I haven't been telling you everything all this time..." Isidora said.

"I figured that much out. You're making me nervous here, babe," Warwick winced.

"I knew this would be hard..." Isidora muttered. "I... was just riding the alliance for safety, at first. At the time, I didn't really have any emotional connection with anyone - I just wanted to stay alive in the game. And I was willing to do anything to stay alive. Even tell some horrible lies."

"Such as...?" Warwick asked quietly.

"Warwick..." Isidora hesitated. "I can't be your queen. I only said I would because I thought it'd keep you loyal to me. At first! I don't know, after a while, I kind of softened up to you, and I do consider you my friend, but... yeah. The whole marrying you thing was an awful lie on my part and I feel awful for leading you on like this."

Warwick wore a humiliated look on his face.

"What the hell?!" Warwick snapped. "Why?! Why would you do something like that?!"

"Because I'm a terrible person?" Isidora guessed ashamedly.

"You're damn right!" Warwick cried as tears filled his eyes. "What kind of person just tells someone that they love them when they don't mean it at all! I cared about you! I only wanted the best for you! And for what?! I was just being played like a fool! You horrible, wretched, sociopathic... I can't believe this! I stood up for you when Zarardo called you untrustworthy! I broke off my ties with him for your sake! And I sure as hell can't go back to him now! So basically I have no one in this game! Great! Just great! Why not just vote me off now?!"

"I'm sorry, Warwick," Isidora said remorsefully as she fought back tears. She made her way down the cliff path, weeping.

Warwick shouted at the top of his lungs.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Of all the terrible things people have done to me... I want to quit right now, but then I'd be no better than Fauna. That's about the only thing I still have going for me. I'm sorry, it's just... _(He sobs loudly.)_

 **Isidora:** I'll admit, I've been on Warwick's side of being led on before, and it sucks, it really does. Apparently being the one who leads people on sucks just as hard. I didn't even know I _could_ cry anymore. _(She chuckles sadly.)_

* * *

The campers all met up on the beach, where Chris and Lindsay stood. There were two things obscured by white sheets: one right next to the campers, and one a couple meters away.

"Looks like were all here and ready for the next challenge," Chris noted. "This is another pretty straightforward one. Lindsay! Uncover the tarps!"

Lindsay pulled off the sheet closest to her, revealing a rack which held a short bow and several arrows. She dashed over to the further sheet and pulled that off, revealing a multi-colored ringed target.

"Archery!" Chris announced. "The third-classiest sport there is! One by one, in alphabetical order, of course, you all will fire three arrows at the target. Obviously, where the arrow lands will offer you different point values. If your arrow lands in the outermost, white circle, that's worth ten points. If it lands in the black circle, that's fifteen points. The blue circle here is worth twenty, the red is worth twenty-five, the yellow is thirty, and the very bullseye here is worth fifty! The camper with the most points after all is said and done will win Invincibility. There shouldn't be any questions, but I don't want to overestimate you guys' intelligence, so ask away."

"Um, I've never fired a bow before," Amelie said nervously.

"It's not hard," Chris said flatly. "If you've seen people fire a bow before, you should be able to figure it out. Just make sure the feather on the arrow is facing _away_ from the bow."

"Do we get practice shots?" Vardaman asked.

"No," Chris said.

Silence.

"Alright," Chris said. "Amelie, you're up."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** Bows and arrows, huh? I can probably swing that. I don't know how much experience any of us have with archery, but how hard can it really be?

 **Hugh:** I, for one, am always up for more challenges where I can fake violence. How much you want to bet the challenge originally had us shooting at each other before Lindsay vetoed that? Heh. If only.

 **Stormy~:** One thing I love about this game is how I get to try new things every day! I've never done archery before, so this is just another new experience for me! Wish me luck, fans!

 **Warwick:** I have a LOT of aggression to take out right now, so this challenge could not have come at a more perfect time!

* * *

Amelie took the bow and stood behind a line that had been drawn in the sand.

"Alright, let's do this..." Amelie said to herself as she drew the bow. She fired the arrow, and it fell short.

Hugh began laughing at Amelie.

"I've got a weapon, you know..." Amelie said softly.

Hugh stopped laughing at Amelie.

Amelie drew her bow again, this time further, and fired at the target. It just barely stuck to the very bottom of the target, in the white zone.

"Ten points for Amelie," Chris said.

Amelie drew her bow again, this time aiming higher, and fired. The arrow stuck just above her second arrow, still in the white zone.

"And that's twenty points total for Amelie," Chris said. "She currently holds the lead, but, let's be real, she won't be holding it for very long. Next up is Genesis. Can she take over the lead? Probably, but I shouldn't give anyone too much credit."

Lindsay set off Chris's shock collar.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I guess that's about as well as I expected to do.

* * *

Genesis took the bow and three arrows and stood behind the same line.

"You need thirty or more points to take the lead for Invincibility," Chris told Genesis.

Genesis nodded in understanding. She drew the bow, took aim, and fired. The arrow landed in the red zone.

"Twenty-five points to Genesis right off the bat!" Chris announced. "This takes Amelie out of the running for Invincibility."

Amelie hung her head in shame.

Genesis took aim and fired again. This time it landed in the blue zone.

"Twenty more points!" Chris announced.

Genesis seemed surprised at her score as she took aim for the third time. She fired the arrow, and it landed in the blue zone.

"Twenty more points!" Chris announced. "That brings Genesis to a total of 65 points, putting her in the lead. It's Hugh's turn; can he take the challenge over for himself?"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I didn't score amazingly, but I definitely scored a lot better than I expected to. Actually, I sort of hope someone beats my score. The last thing I want is to be branded as a challenge threat because I've won two out of four potential individual Invincibilities.

* * *

Hugh took the bow and arrows and stood in position.

"You'll need seventy or more points in order to beat Genesis's score," Chris reminded Hugh.

"I know that, artard," Hugh scowled.

Hugh drew his bow and fired. The arrow flew way over the target and landed in the sand behind it.

Amelie giggled at Hugh's misfire. Hugh glared at her, prompting her to stop.

"Zero points for Hugh so far," Chris said. "If he gets less than fifteen with either of his next two shots, he will not be able to qualify for Invincibility."

"Say, that reminds me," Vardaman said. "What if more than one person ties with the highest score?" Vardaman asked.

"They'll each fire one shot for a tiebreaker," Chris explained.

"And what if they tie for that?" Ursula asked.

"Then they'll get joint Invincibility, I don't know!" Chris said exasperatedly.

"They won't need it," Hugh said cockily.

Hugh fired his second arrow, which landed in the blue zone.

"Twenty points for Hugh!" Chris announced. "If he can get a bulls-eye, he'll take the lead!"

"A bullseye for Hugh shouldn't be tough considering he's so full of bull as it is," Isidora remarked.

"Will I get bonus points for shooting Isidora?" Hugh asked Chris.

"I want to say yes, but I doubt this one would approve," Chris said as he jerked his thumb in Lindsay's direction. "So just stick to the target."

Hugh grumbled to himself as he took aim at the target. He let the arrow fly, and it landed in the black section.

"That's fifteen more points for Hugh, leaving him at thirty-five total!" Chris announced. "Genesis still holds the lead. Isidora, you're up!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Tch. Whatever. Archery's for nerds who roleplay and stuff. If it was a pocket knife challenge, I'd have it on lock.

* * *

Isidora trudged up to the line with her bow and arrows and took aim. She let go, and the arrow hit the sand halfway between her and the target.

"Zero points for Isidora so far," Chris said.

Isidora sighed as she drew her bow again and let go. This arrow landed further than the last one did, but did not connect with the target.

"There's no way I can beat Genesis' score now. Can I stop?" Isidora asked.

"And have you miss out on more humiliation?" Chris asked rhetorically.

"Ugh, fine," Isidora groaned as she drew her bow and fired. This one came as far as the target but landed in the sand directly to its left.

"And that's a big fat goose egg for Isidora!" Chris announced. "Maybe Stormy~ will make things interesting because it's her turn!"

"Wow. That's a lot of the alphabet we've skipped," Stormy~ noted.

"Well, Jasper through Ronoc have all been voted out," Chris said. "And in the final nine, there aren't many letters left."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** This isn't really giving me much confidence in my shot at winning the final challenge, but stranger things have happened, I guess.

* * *

Stormy~ took the bow and arrows and got into position.

"Remember, you need at least sixty-five points to be eligible for Invincibility," Chris reminded her.

"I know, _orokana gachō_ ," Stormy~ giggled. She took aim with the bow and fired. It landed in the blue zone.

"A decent first shot," Chris narrated. "But will she be able to keep up momentum?"

"Here's hoping," Stormy~ said as she drew her second arrow. This one landed in the red zone.

"Looks like that momentum is keeping up. That's twenty-five more points," Chris said.

"I can do this!" Stormy~ decided. She drew her bow and fired. This time it landed in the yellow section.

"Thirty more points for Stormy~!" Chris announced. "And with a total of seventy-five, that puts her in the lead, knocking Genesis out of the running. Let's see how Ursula matches up here."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Stormy~:** Whoa! I didn't know I had any kind of knack for archery. I wonder what else I'm good at that I don't know about. I wonder if I can incorporate archery into my pop star status. I'd have to ask my manager.

* * *

Ursula had the bow and arrows and stood in position.

"Stormy~ has taken the lead, but with four campers still yet to go, anything can happen," Chris said.

"And anything _will_ happen," Ursula boasted as she took aim and fired her arrow. It landed in the blue section.

"A respectable twenty points," Chris nodded.

"Since when do you respect the contestants?" Lindsay asked innocently.

"I don't, but I didn't expect any of them to do well at all, so..." Chris answered.

Ursula took aim with her second arrow and fired. It landed in a different part of the blue section.

"That's twenty more points," Chris nodded. "Ursula's going to need to hit a bullseye if she wants to beat Stormy~'s score."

"No pressure," Ursula chuckled as she drew her last arrow. She let it fire, and in landed in the blue section.

"Twenties across the board for Ursula, giving her a total of sixty," Chris noted. "Not enough for Invincibility. Let's see if Vardaman can do any better."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** That's still, like, in the top three of scores so far, so all things considered, I think I did pretty well.

* * *

Vardaman was now at the ready.

"Stormy~ still maintains the lead with 75 points," Chris reminded him. "Think you can match up to that?"

"Here's hoping," Vardaman chuckled.

Vardaman took aim and fired. The arrow landed in the red section.

"Twenty-five points, right off the bat!" Chris announced. "But you'll have to get a better spot than that in order to take the lead."

Vardaman fired his second shot, and this one landed in the black section.

"So much for the lead..." Vardaman said.

"That's fifteen more points, but you can still beat Stormy~'s score with a bullseye," Chris pointed out.

"Better keep it steady then," Vardaman said as he drew his final arrow. He took careful aim before letting loose. The arrow managed to land in the bullseye, to his luck.

"First bullseye of the game!" Chris announced. "This brings Vardaman to a total of ninety points, bumping him up to the lead and taking Stormy~ out of the running!"

" _Sore o tetsudatte_ ," Stormy~ pouted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Didn't expect to make a bullseye, but I ain't complaining. With Tori gone, I'm afraid I might end up being a target real soon as the big challenge threat, so being Invincible certainly won't hurt.

* * *

Warwick took the bow and arrows and took aim at the target.

"It'll take ninety or more points for Warwick to have a shot at safety this round," Chris narrated. "Let's see if he can do it."

Warwick pulled back as hard as he could and sent the arrow flying. It landed in the white section.

"Ten points for Warwick so far," Chris said. "But he's still not out of it."

Warwick growled as he notched his second arrow and sent it flying. It hit the bullseye.

"Warwick with another fifty points!" Chris announced. "But he'll need a yellow to tie it up, or a bullseye to beat Vardaman's score."

Warwick, with a determined look in his eye, took aim and fired his third and final arrow. It flew over the target, missing entirely.

"Welp, that's zero more points for Warwick," Chris said. "Sixty points total for Warwick. Unless Zarardo can prove himself, Vardaman might have this won."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Well, that was embarrassing. What sort of king can't even win an archery competition? It's a quintessential kingly skill to have!

* * *

Zarardo took the bow and arrows and stood at the ready.

"The score to beat is ninety," Chris said. "Let's see if Zarardo can do it."

Zarardo fired his first arrow, which landed in the yellow section.

"Thirty points right off the bat!" Chris announced.

"I wish you'd be quiet," Zarardo leered.

"Hey, our viewers don't have the mental capacity to do math," Chris said. "I'm just doing my part."

Lindsay set off Chris's shock collar.

"Honestly, the more you shock me, the number I get to it," Chris remarked.

Lindsay shocked Chris again.

"Just take another shot, Zarardo," Chris said, annoyed.

Zarardo took his next shot. This one landed in the black section.

"Fifteen more points for Zarardo," Chris said. "If you can land a bullseye, the challenge is yours. If not, it's Vardaman's!"

Zarardo concentrated on the target before firing his arrow. It landed in the blue section.

"That's sixty-five points, which is not enough to beat Vardaman!" Chris announced. "Meaning Vardaman wins Invincibility!"

"No kidding?" Vardaman asked. "Well, how about that?"

"Marshmallow ceremony's at the usual time," Chris said. "Until then, you guys are dismissed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** Can't win them all, I suppose. Getting votes last night makes me concerned about getting votes tonight, but if I could gain the majority last night, I can gain it tonight. And who knows, I might not even be a target tonight.

 **Ursula:** I don't know who the targets are, but as long as I'm not one of them, I'm good. I'm not particularly close with anyone left so that just means that I'll have no qualms with voting someone out if people plan a big blindside or something.

 **Amelie:** Now that I think about it, I don't know who to vote for tonight. Thank goodness Chris gives us time to decide.

 **Vardaman:** Another day, another elimination. Hopefully, it's not someone on our side this time.

* * *

Amelie, Stormy~, and Zarardo met up on the Dock of Shame.

"So, what's the plan for tonight?" Stormy~ asked.

"Well, a little birdy told me that Warwick isn't exactly on the best terms with Isidora right now," Zarardo said. "I know I said she's no threat to us, but I think that we can pull him over to our side if we vote for Isidora."

"That makes sense," Amelie said.

"Our votes, plus his, plus maybe Ursula's if we can convince her, should be enough," Zarardo listed. "With luck, we might even be able to get Warwick back into this alliance."

"I thought _he_ kicked _you_ out of _his_ alliance," Stormy~ said, confused.

"That's not relevant," Zarardo said as his eye twitched slightly. "What is relevant is that we might still have a prayer in this game, despite the obvious majority the big alliance has. We can still win this, ladies!"

"Yay!" Stormy~ clapped.

"That's good," Amelie said with a small smile.

"I'll speak with Ursula and Warwick shortly," Zarardo said. "So you ladies can relax knowing that, no matter how the others vote, we will be safe."

" _Sugoi_!" Stormy~ cheered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Zarardo:** It's almost like this opportunity just fell into my lap. I had actually spent a long time wondering how I'd survive this round before I overheard that Isidora had dumped Warwick. Now, I know how I'll survive.

 **Stormy~:** I've never actually met Isidora. She seems like a very aloof person. So voting her out won't be an issue for me!

* * *

Genesis, Hugh, and Vardaman met up in the forest.

"Where are Isidora and Warwick?" Vardaman asked.

"I heard they broke up," Hugh snickered. "I think they're both afraid of running into each other if they join us."

"Well that ain't good," Vardaman said as he began chewing on a tongue depressor. "But we can always talk to them separately about the vote."

"Who should we vote for, by the way?" Genesis texted. "I think it should be someone from Zarardo's alliance."

"Why not Zarardo himself?" Hugh said. "Without him, there isn't really a Zarardo's alliance to worry about, right?"

"Do you promise to actually vote for him this time?" Genesis texted with an annoyed look.

"Hey, you voted for Tori too!" Hugh pointed out.

Genesis wore a panicked look on her face.

"We can talk about that later," Vardaman said as he chewed harder on his tongue depressor. "Are we in agreement for voting Zarardo?"

"I'm down," Hugh said.

Genesis nodded.

"Alrighty," Vardaman said. "Here goes nothing."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I hope Isidora and Warwick are still able to work together in this alliance, at the very least. Breaking up's no fun, and I respect that, but it won't be good for any of us in this alliance if they can't work together.

 **Hugh:** On the plus side, Isidora is single again. I'm pretty sure she doesn't hate me. _(He winks at the camera.)_

* * *

Zarardo gathered Ursula and Warwick in the boathouse.

"Why'd we have to meet here? It's giving me the heebie-jeebies," Warwick shuddered.

"Because, I have a proposition for you both, and I don't want anyone overhearing us, so I chose somewhere no one would think to go," Zarardo explained.

"Is it an alliance?" Ursula asked. "I already told you I'm not interested."

"Not an alliance, but an offer to vote alongside me tonight," Zarardo said. "I'm thinking of voting for Isidora tonight. What say the two of you?"

"Done!" Warwick agreed.

"I'll consider it," Ursula said. "I'm not going to promise you that I will, because I don't know how the other side's voting, but I'd be fine with losing Isidora."

"I suppose that's all I can really ask of you, Ursula," Zarardo said.

"And hey, wait, aren't you two dating?" Ursula asked Warwick. "You and Ursula, I mean. Not you and Zarardo."

"We were," Warwick scowled. "Or so I thought. Turns out she only led me on so she could join my alliance."

"Aw, that's rough, buddy," Ursula said as she patted him on the shoulder. "My chances of voting for her just increased," she told Zarardo.

"Excellent," Zarardo smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** Things can always change in this game, can't they? I still don't have my vote on lock tonight, but leading someone on as a game move is kind of a bitch thing to do, you know?

 **Warwick:** It seems I was hasty in casting Zarardo aside. He was right about Isidora all along. I hope he'd still be willing to work with me despite what I said and did to him.

* * *

Isidora sat on her reading rock, writing something down in a notebook.

"Um, Isidora?" Amelie asked as she approached the anemic girl.

"What?" Isidora asked despondently.

"I just thought it'd be fair that I warn you that Zarardo is gunning for you tonight," Amelie said.

"Yeah, that's not surprising," Isidora said.

"You're not upset?" Amelie asked.

"No more than I have been all day," Isidora responded.

"Hey, Isidora," Genesis texted as she approached the two.

"Hey, Genesis," Isidora responded.

"Not sure if you've heard anything about votes tonight, but Vardaman, Hugh, and I all want Zarardo gone," Genesis texted. "What do you think about that?"

"Well, apparently Zarardo's voting for me tonight," Isidora said as she glanced at Amelie. "So it's not like I have much of a choice, do I?"

"I don't suppose you'd be willing to vote alongside us?" Genesis texted to Amelie. "We don't know if we can rely on Warwick's vote right now."

"Um..." Amelie said. "I'll have to get back to you on that."

"Fair enough," Genesis texted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ This breakup could not have come at a worse time. All the other alliance needs is for Warwick to go rogue, and we could end up with two fewer allies. Granted, I do have side alliances with Hugh and Vardaman anyway, but I don't want them to be my _only_ allies.

 **Amelie:** It's too bad about Isidora and Warwick. I actually kind of admired them as a couple, since they're so different, but were able to get together anyway. Maybe they were too different?

* * *

Warwick entered the boys' cabin.

"Ugh... I need a nap," Warwick grumbled to himself. He went to his bunk and crawled in, only to wince. "What the hell?"

Warwick pulled a piece of paper out from underneath the covers.

"'Warwick'," he read aloud. "'I know you're upset with me right now, and you have every right to be. What I did was selfish and I can't really excuse it. For what it's worth, I really do feel awful for doing this to you, and it's for the best that I told you now before the season ended so you'd find out directly from me rather than from my confessionals after the fact. I don't know if this will make up for it or not, but I'm giving you my Invincibility Statue. You'll always be safe for as long as you have this, and no one's allowed to steal it. I'm sorry for what I did. I hope someday you can forgive me. Isidora.'"

Warwick took the blue statue out from under his covers.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** ...It's the least I could have done...

* * *

The nine campers all met up at the firepit for elimination. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"Man, you guys are really dropping in numbers, aren't you?" Chris noted. "If my heart wasn't all shriveled and black, I might actually start missing you guys. But, it is shriveled and black, so I get to experience joy at crushing another person's hopes and dreams!"

"Let's just get this over with," Isidora said.

"Vardaman."

"Amelie."

"Genesis."

"Stormy~."

"Hugh."

"Ursula."

"Warwick."

Isidora and Zarardo both looked impatiently at Chris.

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"Isidora," Chris finally called.

"Wait, what?" Isidora asked as her marshmallow landed on her lap.

Zarardo looked indignant.

"Are... Are you serious?" Zarardo asked.

"Yep," Chris said. "There's that joy at crushing your hopes and dreams. Good stuff, good stuff." Chris cleared his throat. "If anyone wants to see Zarardo off, you can follow us to the Dock of Shame," Chris said. Everyone else can head to bed."

* * *

Zarardo, Stormy~, and Chris all came to the Dock of Shame.

"I can't believe I've just been stabbed in the back, not once, but twice," Zarardo scowled. "Stormy~, you voted for Isidora, yes?"

"Of course," Stormy~ said.

"You may have been the only one besides me," Zarardo said with a shake of his head.

"But what about Amelie?" Stormy~ asked worriedly.

"Do you see her here with us?" Zarardo asked. "Why wouldn't she come unless she was afraid to face me because she voted for me?"

"I'm sure you're just jumping to conclusions," Stormy~ said with a nervous chuckle.

"People can and will betray you for the sake of their own game," Zarardo said. "Hugh did it to you before, and now Amelie's done it to me. Trust no one fully, Stormy~. Make sure they trust you, of course. But if you trust someone fully, then you are a fool."

"I see..." Stormy~ said.

"Coming from the guy who Warwick called his fool, that's rich," Chris said as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors.

"Tch. Never thought I'd have to do this twice," Zarardo noted.

"Sorry you have to go, Zarardo," Stormy~ said sadly.

"Be glad it's not you," Zarardo said with a frustrated smirk.

"Stormy~, you can head to bed now. Any last words, Zarardo?" Chris asked.

"I have nothing left to say," Zarardo said.

Stormy~ waved goodbye as she left the Dock of Shame. As she did, Zarardo entered the Elevator of Losers.

"Zarardo, you have finished the game, for real this time, in 9th place," Chris said.

Zarardo responded with an annoyed sigh.

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater. Chris turned to the camera.

"And with that, our first returnee of the season has secured his loss, with absolutely zero chance of coming back!" Chris said giddily.

"Why do you have to be so mean?" Lindsay frowned as she entered the scene.

"It sets me apart," Chris said casually. "Anyway, it looks like no one knows who they can truly trust anymore and that alliances can't really be relied on. Will people give up on alliances entirely? Where will Warwick's loyalties lie? Will Ursula's no-alliance plan actually work?"

"Who cares about any of that?!" Lindsay cried. "I just want Isidora and Warwick to live happily ever after!"

"Fat chance," Chris said.

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Zarardo's the major enemy here. I can't see Amelie or Stormy~ managing without him.

 **Stormy~:** Sorry, Isidora, but you won't talk to me, and Zarardo wants you gone, so I don't have any reason _not_ to vote for you.

 **Vardaman:** I'm hoping we can actually get Zarardo out this time. He seems like a real cutthroat kind of guy, and I don't want someone like that working against me.

 **Isidora:** Well shoot, if Zarardo's gunning for me, I might as well return the courtesy.

 **Hugh:** Let's see, Isidora's cute and single, and Zarardo's a guy... the choice here is obvious. Also, you know, it's a smart move for my alliance. I guess that's also a part of it.

 **Zarardo:** Isidora, your demise may or may not have been your own fault, but regardless, it needs to happen for the sake of my game. This is why you shouldn't have tried to work against me.

 **Ursula:** Apparently Isidora apologized to Warwick and gave him her statue... Eh, I can't stay mad at her after that. Zarardo, on the other hand, I never really cared for, so he can go.

 **Warwick:** Not a smart move giving me your statue, Isidora, because it's opened up the chance for me to vote you out! This is what happens when you play with people's emotions!

 **Amelie:** Zarardo's been bossing me around a lot ever since he came back. I don't want to work with someone who just bosses me around. I think I can make more allies without him, so I vote for Zarardo.


	21. Ep 20: Shaft & Furious

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, our campers tested their archery chops, as they fired three arrows at a target. The one with the most points wins. Easy stuff," Chris said. "The challenge wasn't what was important, though. It was everything _else_ that really stood out!"

Lindsay sniveled.

"Hugh admitted to Vardaman that he's the one who backstabbed Tori, and later spilled the beans that Genesis had a hand in it too," Chris chuckled. "Zarardo offered Ursula a spot in his alliance, but she turned him down, apparently eschewing alliances entirely from now on."

"I'm surprised more people don't do that," Lindsay said.

"And that's why you never won any of the four seasons you were in," Chris remarked. "Most noteworthy thing of all, though, is that Isidora finally decided to tell Warwick the truth that she didn't really want to be his wife and queen."

"I cried all night!" Lindsay blurted.

"Neither of them escaped that without any tears or hard feelings," Chris chuckled. "And it actually had a hand in the votes that night. Zarardo figured that targeting Isidora could get Warwick back onto his side, while Isidora sided with Genesis, Hugh, and Vardaman to take out Zarardo himself. Thanks to a well-timed apology on Isidora's part and Amelie's increasing disdain towards Zarardo, the street magician paid his second and final visit to the Elevator of Losers."

"That apology also had Isidora give Warwick her Chris Statue!" Lindsay added. "And he still voted for her anyway!"

"Love's a fickle mistress, she is," Chris snickered. "It's the final eight, and with the alliances as we knew them all but gone now, it's truly anyone's game. Will Stormy~ find out that Amelie backstabbed Zarardo? Will Vardaman fully embrace the strategic game? Will Ursula actually manage to get by without an alliance?"

"Will Amelie get Hugh to open up?" Lindsay asked. "Will Warwick stay mad at Isidora? Will Genesis's muteness harm her in a challenge?"

"Find out, right here, on Total!" Chris started.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

Amelie and Stormy~ both stood on the Dock of Shame. Stormy~ paced back and forth frantically.

"What are we going to do?" Stormy~ asked anxiously. "Zarardo was the only one of us who knew how strategy worked! Now he's gone and we're probably sitting ducks!"

"Hey, it'll be alright," Amelie said calmly.

"How?" Stormy~ asked. "Even if Warwick won't work with Isidora anymore, I think she's still with the other alliance. We're still in the minority!"

"Well, we can always get Warwick on our side," Amelie suggested. "And if Ursula votes with us tonight, then we can at least tie."

"Why would she vote with us when voting with the other guys would give her a majority?" Stormy~ panicked.

"Well, they're obviously tight and probably won't want to work with her all that much," Amelie thought aloud. "If she sticks with us, I think she knows she'd be in a better position."

"Is that worth the risk of a tie, though?" Stormy~ asked. "Zarardo told me what happens when there's a tie and it doesn't break. Surely Ursula knows too."

"I don't know, Stormy~," Amelie said, visibly stressed. "Zarardo leaving stinks, but we're still here, and as long as we haven't been voted off, we still have a chance at winning, right?"

"Didn't you vote for Zarardo, though?" Stormy~ asked.

"Wh-What?!" Amelie gasped.

"That's what Zarardo told me," Stormy~ said distantly.

"W-W-W-W-W-W-Well..." Amelie stammered. "I just didn't like him, alright?! He was arrogant and bossy and I didn't want to play the game for him!"

"He was helping us!" Stormy~ rebutted.

"He was using us!" Amelie insisted. "...I don't want to fight. It's not going to make any of our stances any better in this game."

"...You're right," Stormy~ said. "But I'm going to need some time alone to digest this."

"That's fair," Amelie said as Stormy~ left the Dock of Shame. Amelie sat on the edge of the Dock and buried her face in her hands.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Maybe voting for Zarardo wasn't a smart move game-wise, but I just know he would have done the same to me as soon as it was convenient for him. Now, how are Stormy~ and I going to get out of this mess...?

 **Stormy~:** Maybe Zarardo was right. Maybe Amelie does play too emotionally. Zarardo taught me that you shouldn't let your emotions dictate who you vote for. Who should I vote for now, though? I'm not very good at strategy type stuff.

* * *

Genesis and Vardaman met up in the forest.

"Well, things went our way last night, but that doesn't mean things are going to be easy," Genesis texted.

"You talking about Isidora and Warwick?" Vardaman figured.

Genesis nodded. "I think Isidora might keep working with us, and honestly I'd much prefer she work with us than Warwick," she texted. "Not sure where Warwick stands right now, though."

"Maybe I'll talk to him about it at some point," Vardaman thought aloud.

"We could always vote him out," Genesis texted. "I mean, does anyone here really, truly like him?"

"Well, I'd be lying if I said I did..." Vardaman admitted. "We can talk it over with Hugh and maybe Isidora after the challenge when we know who's Invincible."

"Good call," Genesis texted with a nod.

"So, Hugh said something about you voting for Tori?" Vardaman reminded her.

Genesis winced before nodding. She texted. "I wasn't sure how you'd be voting, since you were on the reward with Lindsay, and I didn't want to force a tie because I knew Hugh was voting for Tori."

"Well, I can't say I'm happy that you stabbed an ally in the back, but I guess that's about the most excusable reason to do so that I can think of," Vardaman said. "Can you promise to stick with me and Hugh as long as you can, though? Or at least with me?"

"I'll do what I can," Genesis texted. "I didn't want to vote for Tori nor did I expect I'd have to, so I'm not going to make any promises that I might not be able to keep due to unforeseen circumstances."

"Well, you're honest if nothing else," Vardaman said.

"I tried the dishonesty thing back in the premerge, and all that did was paint a huge target on my back," Genesis texted. "Besides, I trust you more than anyone else here. You're one of the smartest people out here, and any friend of Naomi's is a friend of mine."

"I suppose so," Vardaman said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I do intend to stick with Vardaman up until the final five or so. I want to keep him long enough that he'll be a valuable ally to me, but not so long that I risk him being in the finale and destroying me.

 **Vardaman:** I can't say I'm fully comfortable knowing Genesis might stab me in the back at almost complete random, but at least I think I can trust that she ain't lying to me. If Naomi trusted her, then I'll trust her too. Unless, of course, she does something to break my trust.

* * *

Isidora sat on her reading rock, reading a book when Hugh approached her.

"Hey, bitch," Hugh sneered.

"You're not seriously trying to hit on me by being an asshole to me just because I'm single now, are you?" Isidora asked, annoyed.

"What the hell!" Hugh exclaimed. "Why doesn't this ever work?"

"Was that a rhetorical question or did you actually want the breakdown?" Isidora asked.

"Oh, don't condescend to me," Hugh grunted.

"You've condescended to everyone on this island at least once," Isidora responded.

"Yeah, but you're not a bad boy," Hugh boasted.

"Neither are you," Isidora responded flatly.

"Adfjaiosdgsaig!" Hugh gasped. "I am too!"

"No, you're a wannabe and a child who goes around being a jackass to women because you have no understanding of how the female mind works," Isidora said. "Hence why this plan of yours to score chicks by being a bad boy hasn't even come close to working. I doubt I'm the first person to tell you this. So why do you keep doing it?"

"It's not my fault all the single girls here haven't fallen for my bad boy charms!" Hugh insisted. "I'm just hitting on the wrong girls, that's all! I'm sure there are some cute single girls from the Boldface who'd freaking melt if they met me!"

"I sincerely doubt that," Isidora said. "I can't help but notice that you're still here, by the way. At what point did I indicate I wanted a conversation with you?"

"The point where you kept talking to me, artard!" Hugh answered.

Isidora continued reading silently.

"Tch," Hugh scoffed as he left.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** This is just messed up. Being a bad boy 24/7 is hard work, you know! You'd think at least one girl would fall for it, but nothing! Nothing at all. What gives?

 **Isidora:** I've had it up to here with guys yelling at me. Is it too much to ask for some peace and quiet? Please?

* * *

Warwick found Ursula relaxing in the pet cemetery.

"Ursula!" Warwick greeted.

"Oh, hey Warwick," Ursula said half-heartedly. "What's up?"

"We were once a part of Phoenix's alliance, no?" Warwick asked. "I don't suppose you want to keep working together?"

"Didn't you hear me when we met up with Zarardo last night?" Ursula asked. "I'm not doing alliances anymore."

"Wait, no alliances at all?" Warwick asked. "I thought you just meant with Zarardo. What do you mean you're not doing alliances anymore?"

"It just adds way too much drama to my life," Ursula said.

"Well yes, this is Total _Drama_!" Warwick reminded her. "How do you expect to win without an alliance?"

"I heard all this from Zarardo yesterday. If you want to talk to me, at least think of something else," Ursula said.

"Well, I don't have an alliance right now either," Warwick said as he sat on one of the headstones. "The big alliance had Isidora before it had me, so they're probably going to keep her over me."

"So did they actually kick you out?" Ursula asked.

"Not officially, but I definitely don't want to work with Isidora, and I'm sure she feels the same way," Warwick explained.

"Well, you could always join Amelie and Stormy~. They have an alliance," Ursula shrugged.

"...That is true!" Warwick realized. "It may be a minority, but it's better than being on my own. Thanks, Ursula!"

"It's what I'm here for," Ursula said nonchalantly as Warwick dashed away.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** The way I see it, the longer we have two alliances, the longer the conflict between them will last, and the longer the target stays off of me. So if Warwick joins Amelie and Stormy~, that's just one more round of me slipping on by. I think I'm finally starting to get the hang of this whole "strategy" thing.

 **Warwick:** I spoke with Amelie once near the start of the merge, and she seems like a good person. I don't know Stormy~, but she seems like a nice enough person too. This could really work out for me!

* * *

Hugh grumbled to himself on his way to the boys' cabin when Amelie approached him.

"Hey, Hugh!" Amelie called.

"What do you want, bitch?" Hugh scowled.

"I just wanted to continue our talk from yesterday," Amelie frowned.

"Again, unless you've fallen hopelessly in love with me, you can piss right off," Hugh spat.

"Why do you feel you need a girlfriend so badly?" Amelie asked.

"Gh! Er, why do you care?" Hugh stammered.

"I'm just curious," Amelie said. "Everyone has a reason for acting the way they do."

"Right, your dad's a psychiatrist," Hugh recalled.

"You remember that?" Amelie asked.

"I have a good memory, okay?!" Hugh snapped, his face turning red. "Besides if everyone has a reason for acting the way they do, then why are you such a spineless coward? What's your reason for that?"

"I was and still kind of am bullied a lot," Amelie admitted.

"What, what?" Hugh asked, a slight look of concern on his face.

"But then, so are a lot of kids, so it's not like I'm special in that regard," Amelie said. "I guess people just react differently to these things."

"What are people bullying _you_ for?" Hugh scoffed.

"I've always been kind of shy. I think that's just in my nature," Amelie admitted. "Makes me kind of an easy target, you know?" she added with a sad smile.

"Yeah, no kidding," Hugh sneered. "You don't seem so shy to try and dissect my mind."

"Well, I'm trying to step out of my comfort zone more and more," Amelie said. "I'm going to have to if I want a chance in this game, right?"

"Well aren't you such a perfect inspiration?" Hugh said as he folded his arms. "I'm not just going to stand here and be your psych test subject. If you want to get to know me, go on a date with me. Otherwise, you can screw right off."

Hugh entered the boys' cabin and slammed the door shut.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** At what point did freaking _Amelie_ become so above me?! Trying to figure out how my mind works for her own sick amusement. I'm a person, too, you know! Er, I mean, I'm a bad boy! I can't be analyzed, I'm just a force of nature. Y-Yeah!

 **Amelie:** I think Hugh's a lot more insecure than he lets on. I probably shouldn't press any more than he's comfortable with.

* * *

Warwick sat alone at the top of the thousand-foot cliff when Stormy~ appeared.

"Ah! Stormy~!" Warwick greeted. "What brings you here?"

"I just wanted to see the view again," Stormy~ smiled. "It's a lovely view."

"Verily!" Warwick agreed. "Hence why I chose it to be my temporary kingdom!"

"So, how are you holding up?" Stormy~ asked.

"I'm still very upset with Isidora, but at least I don't have to talk to her if I don't want to," Warwick frowned. "Say, that reminds me. Not to be forward, but is there any room in your alliance for me? I could really use some allies right about now."

"Of course!" Stormy~ chirped. "Amelie and I could use some more allies too! So we're all in luck!"

"Excellent!" Warwick declared. "I don't believe we've spoken before, and already I like you more than I like a lot of people on this island."

"I like to think I have a natural charm to me," Stormy~ winked.

"I have spoken to Amelie before, and I think we got along," Warwick recalled. "I think this alliance will really work out!" Warwick paused. "Now, how are we going to get the numbers to take out the other alliance?"

"Oh..." Stormy~ realized. "I think, um, if we ask Ursula who she wants to vote for, we could vote for them. Assuming they're on the other alliance. That'll make it a tie, at least."

"True, but then what?" Warwick asked. "If we're not careful, one of us could end up like Yolonda."

"So one of the big alliance will have to turn on their own," Stormy~ thought aloud.

"I know Genesis and Hugh have done so in the past," Warwick said. "We should talk to them."

"Strategy stinks," Stormy~ pouted.

"Maybe, but it's necessary to stay alive in this game!" Warwick said.

"I do want to stay in the game..." Stormy~ thought aloud. "I can talk to Genesis, and you can talk to Hugh."

"After the challenge, of course," Warwick clarified. "I think the challenge is soon."

" _Hai_ ," Stormy~ nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Now that I really think about it, I wasn't really all that close with anyone in that alliance other than Isidora. I think I shall fit more comfortably in this alliance! Any friends of Zarardo's are friends of mine! I think. I still don't know who I can trust completely.

 **Stormy~:** A J-Pop star, a king, and... an Amelie! What a trio! We will become the heroes of this game and win it all! _Eikō to meisei no tame ni!_

* * *

Isidora remained on her rock, reading a book when Vardaman approached her.

"Morning, Isidora," Vardaman greeted.

"Oh thank goodness," Isidora said with a sigh of relief. "I must have been reading the same page for the past half hour. I need someone to talk to."

"Er, alright," Vardaman said, taken aback a bit. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Can I vent about something really stupid?" Isidora asked with a tinge of embarrassment.

"Of course," Vardaman smiled.

"The whole Warwick thing just has me thinking," Isidora started. "I don't think I'll ever be able to find real love."

"Why not?" Vardaman asked.

"Vardaman. Please. Can I just speak?" Isidora asked. "I've never had a mutual attraction with anyone. None of the guys I've liked have ever been interested, and it seems like all the guys who've liked me have been immature and clearly have some growing up to do and... you get the picture. I'm not really Miss Outgoing and Perky, so I find it hard to connect with people in the first place. But hey, Tori found a boyfriend, right? And she's way more closed off than I am. Well, maybe I'm an awful friend, but I can't help but resent that a little too. Tori actively tried to cut herself off from everyone here and she ended up with a nice boyfriend. I know I'm not actively looking for a boyfriend or anything, but just once I'd like to find a respectable guy, not bad looking, who really, genuinely likes me. Are my standards too high? Am I just being selfish? Am I just undateable? Why do I even care so much? I don't even like being around people! What is wrong with me?!"

Isidora began panting.

"Feels good to let it all out, doesn't it?" Vardaman smiled.

"No!" Isidora cried. "Now I just feel like an emotional wreck. Especially since it all just got filmed." She gestured towards the camera.

"Well hey, you'd be surprised how many people feel the same way," Vardaman said. "Between you and me, my brother's felt the same way for a long time. He might still, actually. He's never really had a girlfriend..."

"Again. Cameras," Isidora reminded him. "It's not just between us."

"...Right," Vardaman realized.

"But hey, you're obliviousness is helping me feel a bit better," Isidora said with a slight smile. "That was meant to be a compliment, I promise."

"Er, I'll take it," Vardaman chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I'm actually a bit flattered that Isidora trusts me enough to open up to me like that. I guess even closed-off people like Isidora want to be loved just as anyone would. Hope she feels better soon.

 **Isidora:** Well... that was awkward. I promise I'm not usually such a pathetic loser about this kind of stuff, I just needed to get that off my chest.

* * *

Genesis relaxed in the girls' cabin, playing on her phone when Ursula entered.

"Hey, Genesis," Ursula greeted casually.

Genesis gave a wave in return.

"You're lucky you're allowed to bring your phone, you know that?" Ursula said as she sat on her bed.

Genesis gave Ursula a look before opening her text-to-speech app and texting.

"I'm lucky to have a disability that affects my life so much that I need to carry and maintain a special machine everywhere in order to communicate with people?" Genesis texted.

"Well, that's not lucky. But you have games on there, right? I wish I could play games," Ursula said.

"You could start by playing Total Drama," Genesis texted with a silent snicker.

"Um, I totally am!" Ursula insisted. "Like any good psycho killer, I'm playing in the shadows, waiting for the perfect opportunity to make my next big move."

"You sure have been waiting a while," Genesis texted.

"Yes, and much like the clown from Poltergeist, you know I'm going to strike," Ursula said. "It'll leave you on edge. 'I know she's going to do something. But I don't know when.' And then when I do, you're still caught off guard. But it'll be too late. Because you'll already be dead. Or, I guess voted off in this case."

"So, you want to vote me out then?" Genesis texted. "And here I thought we could put Osric behind us."

"It doesn't have to be you specifically," Ursula said. "I'm like 90% over the Osric thing."

"Well hey, maybe we can be friends after this is all over," Genesis texted. "You, Osric, Naomi, and I made a good group, I thought."

"Are you suggesting a double date?" Ursula asked coyly.

"I'm going to take that as a joke," Genesis texted with a slightly annoyed look.

"Hey, if you and Naomi end up exploring your friendship in new ways, I'm not going to judge," Ursula said with a cheeky smirk.

Genesis rolled her eyes.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ So Ursula's idea of playing the game is basically the same thing I've been doing minus any actual planning on her part or being in an alliance. You know, the things that have let me get away with lying low and making big moves when necessary. Okay then. _(She silently chuckles.)_

 **Ursula:** Genesis probably doesn't think I can do it. Well, I'm going to prove her wrong. Maybe even tonight!

* * *

The eight campers met up in front of the mineshaft. Chris and Lindsay were there.

"Alright campers, are you ready for your next challenge?" Chris asked.

"Sure?" Hugh responded.

"This one's simple in concept, but tough in execution," Chris said. "Deep in the heart of the abandoned mineshaft is an old Gilded Chris Statue. And before anyone asks, no, it doesn't grant any special advantages, it's just a throwback to past seasons. Your job is simply to go get it and bring it back here. Whoever can pull that off wins Invincibility. Easy-peasy, right?"

"I'm willing to guess it's not easy peasy," Isidora said.

"You just have to take the fun out of everything, don't you Isidora?" Chris asked flatly.

"You're the one who cast me," Isidora said.

"Yeah, I also thought you would have been voted off a long time ago," Chris said. "But I digress. Although sadly, the mine isn't radioactive anymore, that doesn't mean it's without its dangers. I was allowed to bring the giant mutant gophers back, and the minecarts and are just as dangerous as ever. Maybe there are a couple more surprises in there too. Who knows?"

"Wait, what?!" Lindsay gasped.

"It's no less dangerous than any given Season One challenge, Lindsay," Chris said flatly. "Just let me have the satisfaction of knowing that they're probably going to get mildly injured."

Lindsay gave Chris an angry pout but did not raise further objections.

"Any questions?" Chris asked.

"How dark is it down there?" Amelie asked nervously.

"Really really dark," Chris chuckled. "Thankfully for you guys, there are four flashlights which are first-come-first-serve, as well as a large jar you can use to catch the native fireflies if need be."

"Fireflies are native to mineshafts?" Stormy~ asked.

"Yes," Chris responded bluntly.

"That still leaves three of us without light sources!" Warwick pointed out.

"What's wrong? Afraid of the dark?" Ursula snickered.

"N-No!" Warwick stammered.

"Travel with someone who does then, I don't know," Chris said exasperatedly.

"But, to clarify, there's only one Gilded Chris?" Vardaman asked.

"Yes," Chris confirmed.

"Seems simple enough," Hugh said as he cracked his knuckles.

"I could always make it harder for you guys," Chris offered with a grin.

The campers all responded with turning that offer down.

"Alright, if there are no more questions, let's get this started!" Chris said excitedly as he took an air horn out of his pocket. "Ready? Set? Go!"

Chris blew the air horn, and the eight campers all dashed into the mine. There was enough sunlight to show that there was an elevator present that could take people down into the mine.

"Out of the way, artards!" Hugh called as he shoved people aside and ran into the elevator. The elevator had the four flashlights in them, so he took one.

Vardaman and Stormy~ both made it into the elevator as well shortly after, and they took flashlights as well. Just as they did, Hugh brought the elevator down.

"Aw, come on!" Ursula objected.

"How are we going to get down now?" Amelie asked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** What? I'm not about to wait up for everyone. I have a challenge to win. Stormy~ and Vardaman just got lucky enough to get in just before I sent the elevator down.

* * *

The elevator made it to the bottom floor of the mine shaft, which was dimly lit with fireflies scattered around the area. Hugh, Stormy~, and Vardaman all turned on their flashlights. Before them were two paths: one reinforced by wooden beams, and one that wasn't.

"Looks like we've got multiple paths we can take," Vardaman noted.

"Thanks for the insight, Sherlock," Hugh spat.

"I call dibs on this path!" Stormy~ said as she ran for the reinforced entrance.

"Give me a break," Hugh scowled. He went for the unreinforced path.

Vardaman considered his options before opting for the reinforced path.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I think we're almost at a point where the lines between alliances won't matter nearly as much. People are going to be more inclined to stab each other in the back, you know? I think I should try and get Stormy~ on my good side, if only for some extra security.

* * *

Meanwhile, Amelie, Genesis, Isidora, Ursula, and Warwick remained by the entrance.

"Surely Vardaman and Stormy~ will find it in the kindness of their hearts to bring the elevator back up," Warwick said.

Silence. Nothing happened.

"Yeah, I'm not wasting time," Genesis texted as she approached where the elevator was. She pocketed her phone, grabbed onto the elevator cables, and climbed downwards.

"What if they do bring the elevator back up? Doesn't that seem unsafe?" Amelie asked.

"I mean, it's just Genesis," Ursula shrugged. Warwick laughed in response to this.

"Hey, Genesis?" Isidora called down at the elevator cables. "You good?"

Silence.

"Right, she's probably not going to respond to that..." Isidora realized.

"Should we try to follow her?" Ursula asked. "It's probably safe enough."

"One of you go first," Amelie said nervously.

"What about this thing?" Warwick asked as he grabbed a plastic jar that rested on a rock by the dropdown.

"What about it?" Isidora asked.

"How are we going to get it down, genius?" Warwick scowled at her.

"It's plastic, right?" Ursula asked as she knocked on it. "It'll probably survive the fall."

"Only one way to find out!" Warwick decided as he tossed the jar down the dropdown.

As Genesis climbed down the elevator cables, the jar landed on her head, causing her to lose her grip and fall the rest of the way down. Thankfully for her, it wasn't a very long drop, but she was still left lying on the ground in pain. She slowly stood up, took her phone out of her pocket, and began texting.

"You know, just for that, I'm taking this jar as well as the last flashlight," Genesis texted with an annoyed look on her face.

Genesis grabbed the jar and held it under her arm as she took the final flashlight in the same arm that held the jar. She held her phone in her other hand.

"This might not work," Genesis texted as she looked at all her items.

She pocketed her phone, took the jar out from under her arm, and tossed it as far as she could away from the elevator and the two paths. She then looked at the two paths before her.

"If I know Chris, he's going to hide it in the more dangerous-looking path," Genesis texted as she made her way into the unreinforced path.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Honestly, I'm not sure why I feel the need to type all my thoughts into the phone when I'm alone. I guess it helps the viewers understand why I'm making the choices I am. God, I wish I could speak sometimes.

* * *

Stormy~ and Vardaman made their way through the path they had chosen.

"I wonder if we might end up back at the mineshaft where the losers go if we explore enough," Stormy~ thought aloud.

"Is that where y'all go when y'all are voted out?" Vardaman asked.

"Yep," Stormy~ nodded. "They make us mine coal to help power the island."

"Really?" Vardaman asked. "Sounds like an incentive to not get voted out. I wonder why Chris didn't tell us about that."

"Probably so he could see our faces when we find out," Stormy~ huffed.

"Sounds about right," Vardaman chuckled. "You glad to be back?"

"Of course!" Stormy~ chirped. "I can't gain publicity if I'm the sixth one voted off."

"You'd be surprised," Vardaman said. "A lot of early boots in Total Drama seem to get fan followings."

"Really?!" Stormy~ asked excitedly. "Wait, does that mean I won't get a following since I came back?"

"Naw, naw," Vardaman assured her. "I think you're still good. Every Total Drama contestant has fans. Probably even people like Jasper."

"Really?" Stormy~ asked. "How weird. I hope the fans of people I've voted out don't hate me for voting them out."

"I'm not going to pretend like that's not a very real possibility," Vardaman said. "I think every Total Drama contestant has haters, too."

"What is with Total Drama fans?" Stormy~ asked.

"They're, uh, very passionate about this show," Vardaman said.

"No kidding," Stormy~ said. "Well, I came here for more fans, so if I get more fans, then that's all I care about. I can just shake the haters right off. Ooh, I should write a song about that."

"...Right," Vardaman said awkwardly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** We spent a while walking through the shaft and didn't come across anything. I'm starting to wonder if we made the wrong choice here.

 **Stormy~:** _(She is singing.) Atashi wa chōdo yure o furu tsumoridesu. Sore o furiharai nasai! Sore o furiharai nasai!_

* * *

Amelie, Isidora, Ursula, and Warwick all shimmied down the elevator cables at the same time and had just made it to the bottom.

"Alright, now what?" Amelie asked

"Where's the firefly jar?" Warwick asked.

"You're the one who threw it down here, dingus," Ursula pointed out.

"It can't have gone very far away," Warwick said.

"Update: Genesis took the last flashlight," Isidora said as she examined the elevator.

"Figures," Ursula said.

"We'd all do the same, let's be honest," Isidora said.

"Probably," Amelie quietly agreed.

"So, what, are we going to be traveling together?" Ursula asked.

"Unless you want to travel alone in the dark, probably," Isidora answered.

"I just need to find the firefly jar!" Warwick insisted.

"I'm not waiting around," Ursula said as she grabbed Amelie by the arm. "Come on, Amelie. We're going in the dark."

"Wh-Why me?!" Amelie cried.

Ursula didn't respond as she led Amelie into the non-reinforced path.

"Wait!" Isidora called. She began muttering to herself. "Please don't leave me with..."

"Found it!" Warwick announced as he held the jar up triumphantly. He had already filled it with fireflies. "Where are Amelie and Ursula?"

"They left," Isidora sighed.

"Then it looks like I'm doing this on my own," Warwick said as he took the jar and entered the unreinforced path.

"Warwick, wait," Isidora said calmly. "Can I at least come with you? We don't have to talk or anything."

"I'm seriously debating whether or not to make mine a free country," Warwick grumbled. "But I guess I can't stop you either way."

"Thank you," Isidora said with a slight smile.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** Truth be told, I took Amelie with me because I knew, if I left Isidora and Warwick with each other, they'd keep on fighting, and I need as much conflict between the alliances as I can get.

 **Warwick:** If I am to be a good king, I should be able to talk with those who oppose me, even if I greatly oppose them too. B-Besides, if I can trick her into trusting me, maybe she won't vote for me. Er, yeah.

* * *

Hugh made his way through the mineshaft when Genesis ran up to him. She gave him a wave.

"Oh, hey, Genesis," Hugh said. "You here to accompany the love of your life?"

"I'm here to accompany my ally," Genesis texted.

"Whatever you say," Hugh said with a cocky smirk.

"Do you want my help or not?" Genesis texted

"Fine, fine," Hugh said.

The two came to another fork in the path, one that also featured a reinforced path and an unreinforced path.

"I say we take that one," Hugh said as he pointed to the reinforced path.

"Why that one?" Genesis texted.

"I hear water running," Hugh said. "Obviously there's some kind of a point of interest there."

"Makes as much sense as anything, I guess," Genesis texted.

The two made their way through to find two minecarts set onto some tracks. Sure enough, there was a large waterfall to their right.

"Good call," Genesis texted.

"I know. I'm awesome," Hugh boasted as he hopped into the front minecart.

Genesis gave him a look as she climbed into the second one.

"Alright, how do we get this thing moving?" Hugh asked as he shifted his weight to the front.

"Oh, hey, more people!" Ursula called as she and Amelie approached the two.

"We're just figuring out how to move these minecarts," Genesis texted.

"Um, well, there's a rock in front of that front wheel there," Amelie pointed out.

Hugh looked down at the wheels of his minecart to see a medium-sized rock blocking the front-left wheel of his minecart. As he looked, Ursula joined him in the front minecart, while Amelie joined Genesis in the second.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Hugh snapped.

"Getting this thing working," Ursula said as she pushed Hugh to the back of the minecart, reached down, and moved the rock aside, prompting the minecart to start moving.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** I probably would have figured it out soon if Ursula hadn't shown up and done it for me. _(He folds his arms.)_

* * *

Isidora and Warwick made their way up to the fork in the road.

"Well, I guess this is where we split up," Warwick said.

"Warwick..." Isidora started. "I think we should talk about this."

"About what?" Warwick said, feigning innocence.

"About us," Isidora said. "I don't want this awkward tension to permeate the rest of the season."

"Well, what is there to say?" Warwick asked. "You led me on in order to get ahead in the game. And you expect me not to be mad at you?"

"I never said that," Isidora said. "But I did apologize multiple times. I understand that I hurt you, Warwick. Believe me, I've been in your position."

"And yet you did what you did anyway?!" Warwick cried.

"I made a terrible, terrible mistake," Isidora said. "I know that. Though I'm starting to wonder if it was a bigger mistake telling you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Warwick scowled.

"I thought that telling you myself before I was in too deep would be better than you finding out by watching the season later, but maybe I was wrong," Isidora said. "You won't accept my apologies, you won't talk to me without getting angry and bitter. What else do you want from me, Warwick? I've owned up to my bitch move, I've apologized for it, I even gave you my statue. And yet you just keep giving me grief for what I did. Maybe I shouldn't have told you. God, I wish I was dead right now."

Just then, giant mutant gophers came crawling out of the walls, roaring and focusing their attention on the teens.

"I think you just might get your wish," Warwick said nervously as the gophers closed in on the two.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** Mom, Dad, whoever told me as a kid that you should always apologize when you do something wrong, well, apparently that's not true. Sometimes it just makes people angrier at you.

* * *

Stormy~ and Vardaman finally entered a room after their long trek, but it was not a new room. Rather, they found themselves at the back of the elevator room.

"What in tarnation?!" Vardaman gasped. "Did we just walk in a big circle?"

"Well, that's no good!" Stormy~ pouted. "Now we're behind."

"Guess we'll just have to take the other path," Vardaman figured as he and Stormy~ approached the unreinforced path.

"We can still do it!" Stormy~ said. "We just have to believe in ourselves!"

The two ran through their new path, only to find themselves at another fork in the road.

"Now what do we do?" Stormy~ frowned.

"Believe in ourselves?" Vardaman suggested.

"That works!" Stormy~ agreed as she ran for the unreinforced path.

Vardaman looked at the camera, shrugged, and followed her.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Stormy~:** All we have to do is try every possible path until we get the right one. It's so simple!

* * *

The minecarts continued to run down the track. Amelie and Hugh screamed loudly, Genesis wore an uncomfortable look on her face, and Ursula cheered.

Just then, the carts hit a fork in the tracks, and the two carts split up. The cart containing Hugh and Ursula went on the leftmost track, which dipped lower, while the cart containing Amelie and Genesis took the rightmost track, which stayed at the same height.

"What the hell?!" Hugh called over the loud noise of the carts running.

Genesis shrugged in response.

"Hopefully one of these carts is taking us in the right direction!" Ursula called.

Amelie continued screaming.

Just then, Hugh's and Ursula's cart fell off the tracks, as the track had been busted. They landed on solid ground not far above the track. Amelie's and Genesis's cart kept going before flying off their track, which had also been busted. They fell down into the waters below.

"Ughhhhh..." Hugh groaned as he got up. "Looks like we lost the single girls."

"Is that how you know them?" Ursula said with an amused scoff.

"Them and Isidora now," Hugh confirmed.

"Awesome," Ursula said sarcastically as she scanned the area. "Looks like we can go that way," she said as she pointed opposite from where the tracks had gone.

"Better than the alternative," Hugh said as he looked down at the water below.

Meanwhile, down in the water, Amelie and Genesis surfaced.

"Looks like the flashlights are waterproof," Amelie noted as she looked at Genesis's still-functioning flashlight.

Genesis's eyes went wide as she took her phone from her pocket and frantically pressed the on/off button. It did not turn on.

"Oh no..." Amelie said empathetically. She looked around the area. "Well, it looks like there's solid ground over there. The sooner we get out of this mine, the sooner we can see if there's a bag of rice in the mess hall."

Genesis swam as quickly as she could towards the solid ground, splashing Amelie as she passed her. Amelie swam after her.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** If I remember correctly, Genesis's fear from the fear challenge was losing or breaking her phone. Even if she's probably the person here I've spoken to the least, I hope her phone ends up alright.

* * *

The mutant gophers continued to close in on Isidora and Warwick.

"Well, this is how I go," Isidora said. "On the one season where they're actively trying to make things safer. It's almost poetic."

"Isidora, I'm still not over you!" Warwick cried.

"What?" Isidora asked, taken aback.

"Since we're about to die!" Warwick said. "I need to tell you! I still love you, Isidora! I'm sorry I've been so terrible to you!"

Isidora looked at Warwick before taking Warwick's hand and holding it tightly.

Just then, the gophers all ran away.

"Huh?" the two asked in unison.

"Well, I'll be. It does work," Vardaman said as he approached the two with one of his boots in his hand. "Howdy, you two. Are y'all alright?"

"I'm here too!" Stormy~ said as she ran up to the three.

"...I think we're going to be fine," Isidora said as she let go of Warwick's hand. "Thanks for saving us."

"No problem," Vardaman said with a tip of his hat.

"We should keep going together!" Stormy~ suggested.

"Uh, sure," Warwick agreed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** I... I guess I'm still not over Isidora. Despite her breaking my heart. Love is complicated and I hate it!

* * *

Hugh and Ursula finished making their way through the path they had taken, which, as it turns out, led them back to where the minecarts had started.

"So basically this was a dead end. Great," Hugh groaned.

"I mean, if you want to explore the water, be my guest," Ursula said.

"I'm like 90% sure someone's going to have found the stupid Chris statue by now," Hugh said. "If they haven't now, they will soon."

"So, what? You're giving up?" Ursula asked.

"I'm still sore from falling out of a speeding mine cart, mkay?" Hugh insisted.

"And you think I'm not?" Ursula asked. "You know, for a bad boy, you're kind of a wimp."

"Screw off," Hugh said. "I don't need to prove anything to you. You have a boyfriend."

"Your complete lack of bad boy status is so transparent it's almost funny," Ursula snickered.

Hugh scowled at Ursula as Amelie and Genesis ran up to the two.

"Hey guys," Amelie greeted.

"What's with her?" Ursula asked as she looked at Genesis, who was clearly frazzled.

"We fell in the water, and, well, she's got her phone with her..." Amelie said.

"Ouch," Hugh said. "Well, either way, I think this was all a dead end."

"He wants to give up," Ursula snickered.

"I do not!" Hugh insisted. "Let's just go a different route!"

Hugh went back through the tunnel the four took when they first entered the area.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** So Genesis's phone is busted, huh? Can she even play anymore?

* * *

Isidora, Stormy~, Vardaman, and Warwick all made it to a new room, one which housed multiple mutant gophers.

"Care to do the honors, good sir?" Warwick asked Vardaman.

"Might as well," Vardaman said as he, with his boot still in hand, approached the gophers. The gophers scattered.

"What's with you?" Isidora asked Stormy~, who looked on-edge.

"I still feel like there's something here," Stormy~ said.

Just then, a figure fell from the ceiling, landed on their feet, and swiped Vardaman's boot from his hand.

"Hey!" Vardaman objected.

Upon closer inspection, the figure had sickly green skin and was mostly bald save for some stringy brown hairs. It wore a faded green hoodie and dark blue jeans.

"Aw no," Vardaman winced.

"Don't tell me," Isidora said.

"Is this a normal thing in Canada?" Stormy~ asked, confused.

"No, this is Ezekiel!" Warwick cried.

Ezekiel snarled at the campers with a big grin.

"What's an Ezekiel?" Stormy~ asked.

"Long story short, there's a reason Chris isn't allowed to play favorites or un-favorites anymore," Isidora said.

"I still don't understand," Stormy~ said.

Ezekiel swiped at the campers with his clawed hands, but they all stepped out of the way in time.

"Back! Away, fiend!" Warwick cried as he brandished his jar of fireflies.

Ezekiel swatted the jar out of Warwick's hands using Vardaman's boot, causing the lid to come off of the jar and the fireflies to go free.

"Hey, there's the golden statue!" Stormy~ pointed out as she noticed the Gilded Chris standing on Ezekiel's makeshift throne.

"Well, I ain't leaving without my boot back," Vardaman said.

"Hey, it's the others!" Hugh called as he, Amelie, Genesis, and Ursula ran up.

"And Ezekiel?" Amelie asked nervously.

"Can one of y'all hold him back so I can grab my boot?" Vardaman asked.

"Hugh's the bad boy. He can probably handle it," Ursula jeered.

Hugh noticed the Gilded Chris on Ezekiel's throne.

"Screw that noise. I have a challenge to win!" Hugh cackled as he ran up to the statue and took it. "Okay, now what?"

Ezekiel lunged at Hugh and beat him over the head with Vardaman's boot.

"Ow! Hey! Quit it! Augh! Stop! That! This! Instant!" Hugh shouted as Ezekiel kept hitting him.

"I'll be taking that," Vardaman said as she grabbed Ezekiel's arm and took his boot back. He put the boot back on his foot before kicking Ezekiel off of Hugh.

"The minecart out is this way, for the record," Isidora said as she and the others all made their way into one of three minecarts that were linked together..

"I-I could have told you that," Hugh insisted as he hopped into a minecart. All eight campers were now in, and the minecart moved. It picked up momentum as it went along, soon enough going quite fast.

"This thing's going to ease to a stop, right?!" Warwick asked.

Warwick's question was answered swiftly when the minecarts rocketed out of the mineshaft and back outside, leaving the campers in a daze as they crashed.

"Campers!" Chris greeted. He scanned over them to find Hugh with the Gilded Chris held firmly in his hand. "Looks like we have our winner! Hugh is invincible tonight!"

"Cool..." Hugh moaned in pain.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** The mineshaft was pretty scary. Somehow I can climb a mountain and enter a graveyard in order to talk to people, but a mineshaft is too much I guess. Go figure.

 **Warwick:** I have no idea where Isidora and I stand with each other right now. Right now we're on opposite alliances, but I wonder if we'd be able to work together again.

* * *

Genesis, Hugh, Isidora, and Vardaman all met up in the forest.

"So, do we have a plan?" Isidora asked.

"Genesis and I discussed the possibility of maybe voting for Warwick," Vardaman said.

"I mean... I don't know," Isidora said. "He and I are starting to make up. Also, I might have given him a Chris statue to make up for what I did to him, so, fair warning."

"Why would you do that?" Hugh asked.

"Let's just drop it," Isidora said.

"Well, that leaves Amelie or Stormy~," Vardaman thought aloud.

"Or Ursula," Hugh mentioned.

Genesis nodded.

"Got something to add, Genesis?" Vardaman asked.

Genesis silently sighed as she showed Vardaman her empty hands.

"Her phone doesn't work anymore," Hugh explained.

"Well that ain't good," Vardaman said as he began chewing on a tongue depressor.

"Do you just keep those handy in your pocket?" Hugh asked.

"Not important," Vardaman said. He turned to Genesis. "But you nodded when Hugh mentioned voting for Ursula. You want to vote for Ursula?"

Genesis nodded.

"I mean, we can probably do it," Isidora said. "And if we did, we'd still have the majority over the other alliance."

"We're going to need a fifth vote, though," Hugh pointed out. "Because Ursula's not going to vote for herself, so she's probably going to vote with the other three. It's not worth risking a tie."

"I can talk to Warwick," Isidora said.

"We should talk to Amelie and Stormy~, too," Vardaman suggested. "So we're all in agreement? Vote for Ursula, and try and talk the others into doing it?"

"Yep," Hugh and Isidora responded. Genesis nodded.

"Alrighty. Let's get her done!" Vardaman said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Voting for Ursula does make sense. She hasn't really been loyal to anyone, kind of flipping back and forth. We can't trust her, I don't think.

 **Hugh:** Did...did Genesis just get the alliance to target Ursula without even speaking? How do you even? Ah well, Ursula's taken anyway, so I have no use for her.

* * *

Amelie, Stormy~, and Warwick met up on the Dock of Shame.

"So, do we have a target, or...?" Warwick asked.

"Well, let's weigh our options here," Amelie said. "We could vote for Isidora."

"Eh, I'd rather not," Warwick said. "She and I are starting to patch things up, I think."

"Oh, um, okay," Amelie said. "Well, we shouldn't vote for Ursula, since we'll need her vote tonight."

"And since Hugh is invincible, that just leaves Genesis and Vardaman, right?" Stormy~ asked.

"Well, Vardaman is a much bigger threat..." Amelie thought aloud. "Especially after Genesis lost her phone."

"Genesis lost her phone?" Stormy~ asked.

"It became submerged in water during the challenge. I was there," Amelie explained.

"Hey, guys," Ursula said as she approached the three.

"Oh, hey Ursula," Amelie greeted.

"Look, you guys are going to need my vote tonight, right?" Ursula asked. "I mean, if I don't vote with you, then the other four have the majority, no questions asked."

"She does raise an excellent point," Warwick said.

"I'm voting for Genesis tonight," Ursula said. "Now that she's lost her phone, nobody's going to think to vote for her anymore. In an instant, she's become the least threatening person here. She's going to make the finale if we don't vote her out tonight, I guarantee it. You guys should join me. Maybe talk to Hugh or someone and get him to flip. I think we can do it, guys, but I'm going to need your help."

"Okay!" Stormy~ agreed.

"Wicked. See you guys later," Ursula grinned as she left the Dock.

"I'm going to get a snack," Warwick said as he, too, left the Dock.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Between Genesis and Vardaman... Vardaman is the bigger threat, but I do like him more than Genesis, and Genesis could end up sneaking by... This is a tough decision.

 **Ursula:** Okay, so this vote might be a little bit personal, but sue me. Besides, everything I said about Genesis was true, wasn't it? Maybe Phoenix really was onto something.

* * *

Amelie and Stormy~ were now alone on the Dock of Shame.

"So, what do you think we should do?" Amelie asked.

"Well, it seems like we should vote for Genesis, right?" Stormy~ asked.

"Is that so?" Isidora asked as she and Genesis joined the girls.

"W-We didn't mean-!" Amelie stammered.

Genesis held her hands up as if to assure Amelie that it was alright.

"We just wanted to talk to you about the vote," Isidora said. "You see, Genesis and I happen to be voting for Ursula tonight. We were hoping you would join us."

"Wouldn't that just keep us in the minority in the future, though?" Stormy~ asked.

Genesis shook her head.

"Not necessarily, and here's why," Isidora explained. "We're willing to make a deal with you. If you join us in voting for Ursula tonight, we will accompany you in voting for Hugh next time he's vulnerable."

"Ooh! Really?" Stormy~ asked excitedly.

Genesis nodded.

"Genesis and I discussed this - she wrote her responses down on paper - and we'd like a final five alliance of the four of us and Warwick," Isidora continued. "If you're interested, then please vote for Ursula. If not, that's fine. It's up to you."

Genesis nodded.

"You promise that you're not lying?" Amelie asked.

"We have no reason to lie to you," Isidora said.

"Why do you need our votes, anyway?" Stormy~ asked. "Aren't you already in the majority."

"Like I said, we want to work with you," Isidora said. "This is an honest offer we're extending here. Asking for you to vote with us is our way of letting you prove that you want in."

"We'll talk about it," Amelie said as she glanced at Stormy~.

"That's fair," Isidora said.

Genesis nodded.

"Well, see you guys later, I guess," Isidora said as she and Genesis left.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Stormy~:** So we have two different offers here, huh? And then I know Amelie wanted to vote for Vardaman. I'm honestly not sure who I'd vote for tonight.

 **Isidora:** Yes, this offer is real. I feel like Amelie, Warwick, and I are the worst at challenges of everyone left. They're my ideal final three. Genesis and Stormy~ aren't amazing at challenges, but they aren't slouches, either. Just as well that they're already aligned with me and Amelie, respectively. Of course, Genesis thinks she's in my final three instead of Amelie, but I don't think this is the kind of lie that'll get me crying all night when she finds out.

* * *

As Warwick ate his snack of an entire roast chicken, Hugh and Vardaman sat down at the table with him.

"Howdy, Warwick," Vardaman greeted.

"If you want some of my chicken... er, fine, but leave the drumsticks to me!" Warwick responded.

"Don't mind if I do," Hugh sneered as he took a wing.

"That ain't why we're here," Vardaman told Hugh.

"Hey, he offered," Hugh said.

"Well, we're voting for Ursula tonight, and we were wondering if you wanted in," Vardaman told Warwick.

"What a coinshidensh," Warwick said with his mouth full of food. He swallowed. "I was just going to ask if you guys wanted to vote for Genesis."

"Well, how badly do you want to vote for her?" Vardaman asked.

"For who? Genesis?" Warwick asked. "I mean, if I don't, you guys will get the majority."

"But if you vote for Isidora with us, you'll be in the majority," Vardaman pointed out.

"If you vote for Genesis, you'll be in the majority, plus you'll be rid of a threat. Ursula isn't really a threat," Warwick said.

"Really? Without her phone?" Vardaman asked. "I'd think that'd make her less of a threat."

"Exactly!" Warwick said. "She's a threat because she's the last person anyone will want to vote for anymore!"

"He ain't wrong," Vardaman told Hugh. "What do you think?"

"Needs more salt," Hugh said as he examined his chicken wing.

"About the vote," Vardaman clarified.

"Oh! I mean, Genesis is single, and Ursula isn't, so I'm still leaning more towards Ursula," Hugh said.

"Hmmm..." Vardaman said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Warwick ain't exactly wrong about Genesis. I know she's my ally, but she's definitely smart, even if she can't talk. She could be a very real threat if we leave her alone. But is it worth deviating from the plan to vote her out?

 **Warwick:**...Eh, yeah, the chicken did need more salt. Live and learn.

* * *

The eight campers all met up at the firepit for elimination. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"Final eight, soon to be final seven," Chris said. "Time for another one of you to take that final plunge into the unknown."

"I know what it is. Stormy~ told me," Vardaman said.

"Dang it, Stormy~! It was supposed to be a surprise!" Chris cried.

" _Gomen'nasai_ ," Stormy~ apologized.

"Anyway, marshmallows..." Chris started.

"Hugh."

"Warwick."

"Isidora."

"Stormy~."

"Amelie."

"Vardaman."

This left Genesis and Ursula in the bottom two. Both girls suddenly looked nervous.

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"Genesis," Chris finally called.

"Aghhh," Ursula grumbled. "I guess I had to go sometime."

"Not necessarily. You could have won," Chris chuckled. "Ah, I do love when Lindsay's not here to electrocute me. Anyway, if anyone wants to see Ursula off, you can follow us to the Dock of Shame. Everyone else can head to bed."

* * *

Ursula, Genesis, and Chris all came to the Dock of Shame.

"Why'd you come?" Ursula asked Genesis. "It's not like you can say anything to me."

Genesis folded her arms and gave Ursula a look.

"Yeah, now that I say that out loud, I realize that was in bad taste," Ursula said. "Still, why bother coming?"

Genesis took a folded-up piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to Ursula.

"I guess I should read this aloud, then?" Ursula figured as she unfolded it.

Genesis nodded.

"Alright, fine," Ursula said. She began reading from the paper. "Ursula. I want you to realize that this was not a personal vote. I don't hold anything against you, despite any resentment you might have felt towards me. This vote was a strategic one. I knew I would never know for sure how you might vote in any given situation, and that's the scariest trait there is in a Total Drama contestant. I also meant it when I said that maybe we could be friends after this. I liked hanging out with you before the Osric vote, and I hope that can happen again. If not, I understand. Speaking of Osric, tell him and Naomi I say hi. Anyway, this will probably be the point where Chris says to hurry things up, so I'm going to cut it off here. Good game, Ursula. Genesis."

"How did she know that?" Chris asked under his breath.

"I'm still 10% not over the Osric thing," Ursula told Genesis. "But that note wasn't awful, I guess."

Genesis gave Ursula a knowing smile.

"Since there's nothing more to say, I say we get this show on the road," Chris said as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors. "Genesis, you can head to bed now. Any last words, Ursula?"

"Eh, later, Genesis," Ursula said with a slight smile.

Genesis waved goodbye to Ursula as she left the Dock of Shame. As she did, Ursula entered the Elevator of Losers.

"Ursula, you have finished the game in 8th place," Chris said.

"I fought my ass off to get here. I guess I'm good with a high placement," Ursula said.

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater. Chris turned to the camera.

"Another day, another loser, and Ursula has proven why you should probably stick to a side in Total Drama," Chris said.

"Even I knew that much," Lindsay added as she joined the scene.

"We're down to the final seven, though, and those alliance lines are starting to blur," Chris said. "Will Isidora's final five plan go through? Will Genesis survive without her phone? Will Stormy~ ever think a single independent thought?"

"Will Vardaman keep being targeted for his strength? Will Hugh open up to Amelie more? Will Warwick learn how to properly cook a chicken?"

"What?" Chris asked.

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Hugh:** Ursula's the one girl here who I know I can't woo with my bad boy charms. Ironic, since she's the alt girl here. I guess there's Stormy~ too, but the point is I vote for Ursula.

 **Genesis:** _(She holds up a piece of paper that says "Ursula" on it.)_

 **Ursula:** It's got to be Genesis. I think it's been long enough that I can vote for her without her accusing me of not honoring our truce.

 **Isidora:** I've never particularly cared for Ursula, and I know she's never going to be on my side, so I'm more than fine voting for her.

 **Warwick:** Sorry, Genesis, but you're a big sleeper threat, and I can't have that!

 **Amelie:** If Zarardo's taught me anything, it's that I don't like being told how to vote. I guess it's just as well that the others are targeting Ursula, so I can vote for Ursula without completely wasting my vote.

 **Stormy~:** Amelie told me she wants to vote for Ursula, so I should probably stick with her.

 **Vardaman:** You know what, I think Warwick's right. Genesis could be dangerous. If she goes tonight, good, but if she stays, I can probably just keep working with her like nothing happened. I vote for Genesis.

* * *

 _A/N: Man, oh man, what is there to say about Ursula? She definitely had a journey in this game, that's for sure. Going in I had planned to make her kind of a fun supporting character, but as I wrote her, I found that I enjoyed doing so, so I ended up making her more involved in the plot, giving her a relationship with Osric and giving her the chance to play the game on her own without his help. The results... not amazing, as I'm sure a lot of readers may agree, but I wouldn't call her the worst-executed character in the story either._


	22. Ep 21: The Final Hunt-ier

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, we brought our campers to the mineshaft," Chris recapped. "Their mission: to retrieve a Gilded Chris from Ezekiel's lair."

"How and when did you even get him in there?" Lindsay asked.

"Oh, he's been there all season," Chris said. "The real challenge was finding mutant gophers to keep in there. But I digress. After Isidora dumped him, Warwick took to joining Amelie's and Stormy~'s alliance for security. Isidora stuck with the majority alliance, while Ursula stuck by her 'no alliance' policy."

"But who cares about all the boring strategy stuff?" Lindsay asked. "Warwick told Isidora he still loves her! And Genesis broke her phone! And Hugh might be an insecure wreck!"

"I thought we all knew that last one," Chris remarked. "Speaking of Isidora, she actually offered a final five deal to Amelie and Stormy~, with Genesis and Warwick alongside them. The votes fell between Genesis, for her uncanny ability to cockroach past the eliminations, and Ursula, for her complete lack of loyalties to anyone. It was a vote full of backstabs, but Ursula ended up racking up the most votes, making our Halloween fan our eighth-placer."

"And now it's down to seven!" Lindsay added.

"Sure enough," Chris nodded. "Where will the votes fall tonight? Find out, right here, on Total!"

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

Vardaman, with a plate of breakfast in his hand, sat across from Genesis, who had been eating breakfast alone.

"Morning," Vardaman greeted.

Genesis responded with a small wave.

"...So..." Vardaman said awkwardly. "Sorry to hear about your phone."

Genesis took a notebook and pencil she had placed on the seat next to her and began writing in it. She handed the notebook to Vardaman as she was finished.

"'I was worried something like this might happen, so I came prepared with this'," Vardaman read. "Well thank goodness for that. I was worried I might not be able to talk game with you anymore."

Genesis took the notebook back, wrote in it, and handed it back to Vardaman.

"'Is that all I am to you? Someone to talk game with?'" Vardaman read. "W-Well, I didn't mean to insinuate..."

Genesis silently chuckled and held her hands up, as if to assure Vardaman that she was just joking.

"Don't do that to me. It's hard enough to tell when you're kidding when you're texting," Vardaman said. "But anyway, do you think we might be able to get Warwick back onto our side? And if so, do you think we can get away with voting out Hugh?"

Genesis merely shrugged in response.

"Might be worth talking to Warwick at some point today," Vardaman noted. "Er, I'll handle that, I suppose. Is it hard, being without your phone?"

Genesis nodded. She took the notebook, wrote in it, and handed it to Vardaman.

"'I managed without one for so long, so you'd think it'd be easy to go back, but I used my phone so much for so many things besides talking that I kind of took it for granted'," Vardaman read. "That makes sense. I don't really use one, so I can't relate, but I can empathize, at least."

Genesis looked taken aback. She wrote in the notebook.

"'You don't have a phone? For real?'" Vardaman read. "No, I don't. Don't really need one. I live on a farm, and the metal shop where I work ain't far away. I live in a real rural area. The kind where everyone knows each other, you know? My folks always know where I am."

Genesis nodded in understanding.

"So, your phone's busted for good, huh?" Vardaman asked.

Genesis nodded sadly.

"Well, stay strong, you hear?" Vardaman said.

Genesis nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I did vote for Genesis last night, because I was worried her lack of a phone might make people not want to vote her out in the future, but, between you and me, she's even harder to talk to now than she was before, and I ain't sure people are going to want to put up with that for very long. It's a harsh truth, but a truth nonetheless.

 **Genesis:** _(She silently chuckles. She takes her phone out of her pocket and types into it. The phone speaks.)_ My phone is just fine. I put it in a bag of rice as soon as I could, left it there overnight, and lo and behold, it actually works! The reason I'm acting like it doesn't work is mostly for the pity factor. I have people who trust me and want to work with me, so I don't have to worry about having people on my side, and now that I "can't talk", it'll make me look like even less of a threat. If I have reason to believe I might get votes because it's hard to communicate with me, I'll say that my phone miraculously works again. Hey, it's the final seven, and people will look for any excuse to vote someone off. I want to seem like as little of a target as possible.

* * *

Isidora sat on her rock, reading a book when Warwick approached her.

"Hey," Warwick said. "Can we talk?"

Isidora smiled a bit, marked her book, and shut it. "We may," she said.

"I don't want to stay mad at you, but I still feel... weird being around you," Warwick said. "Because I really like you, and you know I really like you, but you don't like me, and I know you don't like me."

"I get that," Isidora said. "For what it's worth, I still consider you a friend. That's not a title I bestow lightly."

"I know, but after thinking we were something more, it's still not much of a consolation," Warwick said.

"Fair enough," Isidora sighed. "But you're not mad at me anymore?"

"Confused is apter, I'd say," Warwick said. "I hope I can find a queen soon. If I can't procreate, then I don't really have much of a monarchy, do I?"

"I mean, you'll have to win the game first before you can get a monarchy in the first place, right?" Isidora asked. "Maybe winning will get some girls to notice you."

"Maybe," Warwick said. "Sorry that I freaked out at you, by the way."

"Eh, it's all in the past," Isidora said.

Silence.

"This is still weird for me," Warwick admitted. "Sorry, I should go."

Warwick left Isidora alone. Isidora sighed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I guess I shouldn't expect him to come around right away, but it still sucks being on such awkward terms with what's probably my most trusted ally still in the game and a part of my ideal final three. And... my friend.

 **Warwick:** I think there's still a part of my subconscious or something that's still upset with Isidora. Gah, this was supposed to be simple! Take the game by storm as its king and use the momentum of said power to rule a country! And Cupid had to go and damn it all!

* * *

Amelie sat on the edge of the Dock of Shame, gazing out at the horizon. Stormy~ sat next to her.

"Having fun?" Stormy~ asked chipperly.

"I guess?" Amelie responded. "I'm just not in a very social mood right now."

"Amelie, it seems like you're never having fun," Stormy~ pouted.

"What do you mean?" Amelie asked.

"Well, you've been coming out of your shell, and that's great, but even then I almost never see you smile or seem like you're really enjoying yourself. Now you're the one strategizing instead of Zarardo," Stormy~ explained.

"I am having fun, I promise," Amelie said. "But I'm also really stressed out. Trying to stay in the game, especially now that I keep running out of people to hide behind... it takes a lot out of you, you know?"

"I guess so," Stormy~ said. "But I feel like we should be making the most of our once-in-a-lifetime summer."

"Well, that summer will run out soon if one of us doesn't make sure we don't get voted out," Amelie said.

"Hey, we should have that beach day!" Stormy~ suggested. "We never got to have one because I got voted off! But now we can! I won't take no for an answer! I won't take 'I don't have a swimsuit' for an answer either because I brought a spare!"

"...I guess I'm not really doing anything else at the moment," Amelie realized. "Yeah, you know what, that sounds like fun. Let's do it."

" _Odoroku bakari_!" Stormy~ cheered. "You can finally complete your transformation from a shy girl into a confident one by wearing a two-piece swimsuit!"

As Stormy~ skipped off to retrieve the swimsuits, Amelie's eyes went wide.

"W-Wait, a two-piece?!" Amelie gasped. "Stormy~, wait!"

Amelie stood up and gave chase to Stormy~.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Stormy~:** I don't get many chances to go to the beach, so I want to take full advantage of our setting! Besides, Amelie should be having fun out here.

 **Amelie:** _(She is in a two-piece swimsuit, nervously tapping her index fingers together.)_ So, um, what do you think? Heh...

* * *

Hugh had just pulled Vardaman aside into the boys' cabin and shut the door.

"What's all this about, now?" Vardaman asked.

"Shh. Keep quiet. We can't have them hear us," Hugh whispered. He looked out the window of the cabin to make sure no one else was there.

"What is it?" Vardaman whispered.

"Alright," Hugh said in his normal speaking voice. "I've been thinking it over for a while, and I think I've finally figured out why none of the girls are giving in to my bad boy charm."

"So you're finally going to stop being so rude to them?" Vardaman asked with a smile.

"Pfft. _Hell_ no," Hugh scoffed. "It's a conspiracy! That's the only explanation. I've been as bad of a boy as I possibly could, and I've still got nothing to show for it! Obviously, the girls have all conspired together to make sure they don't end up with me. And do you know why they'd do that?"

"Out of courtesy for each other?" Vardaman remarked under his breath.

"Because they're all in an alliance!" Hugh answered his own question.

"I might have an easier time buying that if Ursula didn't just go home last night," Vardaman said.

"Well, okay, let's be fair, Ursula sucked at the game," Hugh said. "They knew to cut their losses. But Amelie, Genesis, Isidora, and Stormy~? Definitely aligned. And they're making sure none of the girls end up with me so they don't lose a much-needed number to make me even more powerful."

"But letting Tori date Quentin was okay because...?" Vardaman asked, playing along.

"Because Quentin's no threat," Hugh explained. "He's such a cuck, he probably ended up joining the girls."

"Wow. Okay," Vardaman said. "And where does Warwick fall into this?"

"Well, you heard that Isidora was just leading him on, right?" Hugh asked. "Obviously they'd planned to use him, but it didn't end up working out. Which means we can scoop him up and form a guys' alliance of our own."

"Alright, but that'd still keep us in the minority," Vardaman said patiently. "Why not stick with the co-ed majority we already have?"

"Because the girls certainly won't," Hugh said. "We need to strike at them before they can strike at us. I'm going to let you in on a secret: Genesis and I have a bit of a side deal going on. I think I can rope her in to join us. You know she won't hesitate to backstab people."

"Wait, you and Genesis? No kidding?" Vardaman asked.

"Now, I can't guarantee she'll want to flip on the girls and join us, but we can at least try," Hugh said. "Our backs are against the wall, Vardaman, but we, as men, were born to fight! And fight we shall!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Genesis had a side alliance with Hugh, huh? I know she had a side alliance with me, but Hugh as well? Did she make deals like that with everyone in the big alliance? If she did, she must have with Isidora... and they very well could have formed a girls' alliance with Amelie and Stormy~. I'm not going to say Hugh is onto something here, but the possibility is there... _(He chews on a tongue depressor.)_

 **Hugh:** The hard part here is, of course, talking with Genesis. Of all the times for her to lose her phone, it's the time where I need her the most. I just can't catch a break in this game, can I?

* * *

Amelie and Stormy~, in their swimsuits, were building a sand castle on the beach.

"I've never made one this big before," Amelie said. "It's fun."

"I know!" Stormy~ agreed. "See, I knew you'd like the beach!"

"Ladies," Isidora said as she walked up to the two.

"Isidora!" Stormy~ greeted. "Where's your swimsuit?"

"I'm not here to play, I'm afraid," Isidora said.

"Well, you should be," Stormy~ huffed. "We're having fun."

"I just wanted to talk about-" Isidora started.

"Don't ruin our beach day with strategy talk until you join us in the fun," Stormy~ insisted.

Isidora sighed as she walked off. We flash forward, and she has returned, now in her swimsuit. The sand castle was now much bigger.

"Alright, so... what are we doing right now?" Isidora asked.

"Well, we were making a sand castle, but I think we're about done with that," Stormy~ said. "Was there anything else you wanted to do, Amelie?"

"Not that I can think of," Amelie said as she wracked her brain.

"I guess we can talk strategy, then," Stormy~ told Isidora.

"Great," Isidora said flatly. "So, Ursula left last night. I imagine you two voted for her?"

"We did," Amelie confirmed. "It'd be foolish to turn down a majority offer... I think."

"Excellent," Isidora smiled. "I plan on honoring my end of the deal as well. Tonight, Invincibility permitting, we'll vote for Hugh. If Hugh's immune, then Vardaman. Then we'll vote out whichever of those two is left tomorrow, assuming he doesn't win Invincibility."

"What happens if he does?" Stormy~ asked curiously.

"Sadly I haven't thought that far ahead yet," Isidora said. "But I'm open to discussion."

"I'm more partial to Genesis," Amelie said. "Warwick's kind of aligned with Stormy~ and me... I think. Besides, I've rarely spoken with Genesis."

"Makes sense," Isidora nodded. "We can cross that bridge when we get to it, of course, but it doesn't hurt to plan ahead."

"Ooh! I thought of something else we could do!" Stormy~ realized.

"You did?" Amelie and Isidora asked in unison.

"We should play chicken in the ocean!" Stormy~ suggested.

"Oh," Isidora said in realization. "Wouldn't that require four people, though?"

"Oh, right," Stormy~ realized.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** This is actually working out surprisingly well for me. I'm just waiting for some random factor I couldn't have predicted to show up and bring all my plans down because there's no way it can go this perfectly for much longer... right?

 **Stormy~:** Beach days are fun! Why don't we do this every day?

 **Amelie:** The paranoid part of me doesn't want to trust Isidora, since I know she's smart and has lied in the past, and could easily be manipulating us. The part of me who wants to get out of the minority says I should just go along with it, though. Worst case scenario, I get seventh place, which is a lot better than I was expecting to get, honestly.

* * *

Hugh made it to the top of the thousand-foot cliff, where Warwick was.

"Warwick. We need to talk," Hugh panted. "First of all, what the hell are you doing up here?"

"This is my temporary kingdom," Warwick answered.

"But why are you here right now? Were you even doing anything before I showed up?" Hugh asked.

"I left myself alone to my own thoughts," Warwick claimed.

"Sure," Hugh said dismissively. "More importantly, I'm here to talk strategy with you."

"Oh?" Warwick said with an amused scoff.

"Don't 'oh' me," Hugh snarled. "Look, the fact of the matter is, the girls are all aligned."

"Yes. And I'm with them too," Warwick said.

"Wait, what?!" Hugh gasped. "You knew? And you're a part of it?!"

"Yep," Warwick boasted.

"And this doesn't concern you even a little?" Hugh asked. "The fact that this alliance happens to be all girls and then you."

"If I was on the outs, they wouldn't have bothered to include me at all," Warwick sniffed. "I think this is just Isidora's way of ensuring that she, Genesis, and I all make final three."

"Over my dead freaking body, it is..." Hugh mumbled. "So Isidora's the ringleader, huh? Interesting. And you trust her? Even after she led you on and broke your heart?"

"My relationship with Isidora is... complicated," Warwick said nervously.

"All I know is, there's a very real possibility that she could be leading you on with this alliance, too," Hugh said. "Look, as guys, our backs are against the wall here. That's why I think you, Vardaman, and I should stick together. Maybe pull in one of the girls as a temporary fourth - Genesis seems most likely to go with it."

"Alright, fine, I'll do it," Warwick said.

"You won't regret this," Hugh smirked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** ...Oh God, I see what Isidora's doing here. Sure, she doesn't need Warwick's vote, but if she includes him in her plans, he's not going to flip, so even if, say, Genesis flips, she'd still be safe! Gah! What am I going to do?!

 **Warwick:** I'm not going to pretend like I haven't considered what Hugh's telling me even before he told me. Like I said, my relationship with Isidora is complicated. I'm not just going to vote her out, but maybe, I don't know, Genesis? It's becoming harder and harder to pick people I wouldn't mind going.

* * *

Genesis sat on her bed, reading a book she had borrowed from Isidora. She glanced at the camera and silently sighed before turning the page and going back to reading.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone talks.)_ Acting like my phone doesn't work sucks. I can't really talk with anyone without jumping through hoops like I did with Vardaman. The notebook system kind of sucks, but if it makes it easier for me to get ahead, I'll just have to grin and bear it for now.

* * *

The seven campers met up with Chris and Lindsay at the campground. Of note was the fact that there was a large cage next to the totem pole.

"Another day, another challenge for you guys!" Chris said. "Who's excited?"

Nobody responded.

"Well, I'm excited," Chris said. "Today marks the return of another classic TD challenge!"

"You're reusing another challenge?" Isidora asked. "Running out of ideas, are we?"

"...Shut up," Chris said indignantly. "Anyway, today's challenge is the animal hunting challenge. We've set seven animals loose on the island. It's up to you guys to catch them. At the start of the challenge, you'll all randomly draw an animal card." Chris took seven cards depicting various animals from his pocket and fanned them out. "The animal you pick is the one you'll have to bring here." Chris pointed his thumb towards the cage. "The first camper to successfully bring their animal here wins Invincibility. Any questions?"

"Does the animal have to be alive when we bring it here?" Hugh sneered.

"Yes," Chris said disdainfully.

"You can't hurt them too badly either," Lindsay added.

"Damn it," Hugh grumbled.

"Do we get any gear to help us out?" Vardaman asked.

"Ah, yes!" Chris remembered. "You will all have a minute in the boathouse to grab anything you think you might need to assist you. Once a minute has passed, you'll be forced to leave with whatever you have and can't go back in until the challenge is over... you know, if you really _want_ to go back in. I'm not going to judge."

Genesis nudged Vardaman and gave him a skeptical nod.

"So anyway, that said, time to pick your animals!" Chris said as he held up his animal cards.

The campers, alphabetically, of course, took turns blindly drawing an animal card.

"I got the beaver card," Amelie said to no one in particular.

"I got the chipmunk!" Stormy~ told her.

"I got the frog," Hugh said.

"I got the bear," Vardaman winced.

"I'll be hunting the deer," Warwick smirked.

"I got the duck," Isidora said.

Genesis showed her card to the camera; the card depicted a raccoon.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I'm conflicted about getting the bear. On one hand, I trust myself above anyone else to be able to do it without being in real danger. On the other, if I do end up seriously hurt, who's going to tend to my wounds? _(He chews on a tongue depressor.)_

 **Warwick:** Deer hunting is the sport of kings! As is archery, as previously mentioned, but really, the two go hand in hand, no? If only I was allowed to use a bow and arrow for this challenge.

 **Isidora:** I remember the duck in the TDI challenge. There's no way I'm going to catch that thing. I might just help someone else, I don't know.

* * *

The seven campers met up with Chris and Lindsay in front of the boathouse.

"Alright campers, on my go, your minute to search the boathouse will begin," Chris said. "I'll sound an air horn when your minute is up. And... GO!"

The campers all dashed into the boathouse and began looking through things that might help them.

"There's like nothing of use in here!" Hugh complained.

Genesis tapped him on the shoulder before showing him a can of animal bait with a cocky smirk.

"For me? You shouldn't have," Hugh smirked back as he swiped the can.

Genesis scowled at him before resuming her search.

"Amelie! Look at this net that I just found!" Stormy~ said as she held up a throwing net.

"Cool," Amelie smiled. "Now, what could I use to catch a beaver?" she asked herself.

"A net?" Stormy~ guessed.

"Are there any more nets?" Amelie asked.

"Not that I can see," Stormy~ said.

"Then I can't use a net to catch a beaver," Amelie said with an annoyed pout.

"Oh, good point," Stormy~ realized.

"You're not going to take anything, Isidora?" Warwick asked Isidora, who had been sitting on a crate.

"Eh, I know I'm not winning this one," Isidora shrugged.

"You'll never win if you don't try," Vardaman pointed out.

"Tell that to half the winners of this show," Isidora remarked.

"Er... well..." Vardaman pondered Isidora's statement.

"So the key to winning is to not try, eh?" Warwick asked. "I should have this game on lock then! I'm great at not trying!"

"I pity your future country already," Isidora said playfully.

Just then, an air horn rang out.

"That's time!" Chris said. "Anything you have on hand, you can use in the challenge. Nothing more! Hunting begins now!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I managed to leave with a butterfly net, which may or may not work against a raccoon. Guess we'll see. Stupid Hugh.

 **Hugh:** I got a small, easy-to-catch animal, and bait on top of that. This challenge is basically mine.

 **Stormy~:** I love chipmunks! I wonder if I'd be allowed to keep it as a pet if I end up catching it. If so, I will name it Alvin! I don't know why, but that just seems like a good chipmunk name.

 **Amelie:** If I remember correctly, the beavers are a bit territorial. I think my best bet here is to try and lure one away from its territory... Easier said than done, though.

* * *

Hugh made his way to a marshy part of the island with his can of animal bait.

"Alright, frog. Let's make this quick so I can take the rest of the day off," Hugh said. "First of all, where the heck are you?"

A frog hopped its way across the marsh. Hugh took notice of this.

"There you are, you little shit," Hugh said as he took some bait from his can and began to spread it around.

The frog continued to hop around as if Hugh wasn't there.

"Hey! Frog!" Hugh called. "I got some bait here! Get your ass over here!"

The frog continued to ignore Hugh. Hugh growled, infuriated.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Some animal bait that was! Guess I'll have to take things into my own hands. _(He cracks his knuckles.)_

* * *

Vardaman went to the Dock of Shame with a bucket and a fishing rod. He baited his hook with an earthworm and cast his line.

"I'm not sure you're going to find any bears that way," Isidora remarked.

"Gah!" Vardaman jumped. "When did you get here?"

"I followed you," Isidora said. "I was wondering how you were planning on catching a bear with a fishing rod."

"Well, bears like fish, don't they?" Vardaman asked. "I figure if I can feed the bear something it likes, maybe it'll follow me and I can get it into the cage."

"Or maybe you'll just whet its appetite for meat and it'll go for the closest source: you," Isidora said wryly.

"Don't you have a duck to go catch?" Vardaman asked.

"Too lazy, too anemic," Isidora excused.

"You'll never get anywhere in life if you use your disabilities as an excuse for everything," Vardaman said.

"I don't use it as an excuse for _everything_ ," Isidora frowned. "Just select physical stuff. I still apply myself and excel in my schoolwork, I'll have you know. You don't know what it's like, Vardaman. You're not even a real doctor."

Vardaman took a deep breath. "You're right. I'm sorry."

"...Sorry that I snapped at you," Isidora apologized. "I'm going to go find someone else to talk to."

Isidora left Vardaman alone to his fishing.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Tensions are definitely running high now that we're at the endgame. I haven't forgotten what Hugh said about the potential of a girls' alliance, and I think that might have some kind of subconscious effect on my perception of Isidora there. Shucks, I can't wait for this all to be over. _(He chews on a tongue depressor.)_

* * *

Stormy~, with her net in hand, searched through the forest for a chipmunk.

"Chipmunks live in forests, right?" Stormy~ thought aloud. "I'm pretty sure they do."

Stormy~ continued to search, but could not come across anything.

"I will find you, Alvin..." Stormy~ said. "Mark my words!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Stormy~:** I wonder if I'd be allowed to use my pet chipmunk as a new gimmick. Michael Jackson had a pet chimp, so maybe this could be my version of that! We'll be the most adorable duo in Japan!

* * *

Amelie made her way to the river in her search for beavers, empty-handed.

"Okay... I wasn't able to take anything useful from the boathouse," Amelie muttered. "But I can still do this. I just need to get a beaver to follow me from its home into a cage. Piece of cake."

Amelie kept walking along the river until she came across a beaver lodge.

"There you are..." Amelie said with a slight smile. She approached the lodge nervously. "Um, beavers? I hate to be a bother, but... uh... could I get one of you to follow me?"

No response.

"Um, beavers?" Amelie knocked on the lodge as one would knock on a door. This caused the lodge to completely fall apart. "Uh-oh," Amelie squeaked.

The three beavers which stood where the lodge once was glared angrily at Amelie.

"I don't suppose 'sorry' will suffice?" Amelie asked weakly.

The beavers all lunged at Amelie and began chasing her.

"Aieeeeeeeeee!" Amelie squealed as she ran away from the angry animals.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Either beaver dams are way more fragile than I'd been led to believe, or I don't know my own strength. Either way, being chased by beavers is not fun!

* * *

Genesis, with her butterfly net in hand, paced back and forth at the campground. She kept her eye out for any raccoons, but to no avail. She looked underneath both cabins to find nothing underneath. She silently sighed as she sat down on the steps to the girls' cabin.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I'm pretty sure raccoons are nocturnal. I'm one step away from just scattering garbage along the campsite to try and lure the stupid things here.

* * *

Warwick, with a tranquilizer dart gun in hand, walked through the forest.

"If I can't kill it and mount its head above my fireplace, I'll settle for Invincibility," Warwick said. "Shame. Venison sounds good tonight."

"Have you had venison before?" Isidora asked as she walked up to him.

"I have," Warwick nodded. "I've had many a good meal in my day," he said as he patted his belly.

"So, you actually are rich outside the game?" Isidora asked.

"I am," Warwick nodded. "Or, rather, my parents are. I was just lucky enough to be birthed from them."

"If you're already rich, why bother with the king stuff?" Isidora asked.

"I've grown up living like a king, and I don't want it to stop after I have to move out," Warwick said. "Besides, if I'm an actual king, people will actually listen to me."

"Do people not normally listen to you?" Isidora asked.

"I'm still just a kid," Warwick said. "The input of children is irrelevant, as they say."

"People say that?" Isidora asked.

"Have you never heard that before?" Warwick asked curiously. "Well, anyway, if I'm a king, my young age won't matter, because people will have to listen to me!"

"I see," Isidora said. "Well, if you ever have something you want to get off your chest, I'm here to listen."

"I appreciate that. I really do," Warwick grinned.

"What are friends for, right?" Isidora shrugged with a slight smile.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Maybe if there's more than one deer, I'll hunt one after the challenge is over and it's no longer against the rules. Venison just sounds too delicious to me right now!

 **Isidora:** If the finale is a final two rather than a final three, I'm definitely going to try and take Warwick with me. Yes, I think I could feasibly stand a chance against him in a challenge, but also because he's a real friend.

* * *

Hugh leered at the frog, which continued to ignore him and his animal bait.

"Alright, that's it," Hugh decided.

He tried sneaking up to the frog on his tiptoes, but he stepped in a puddle, causing a splash that alerted the frog, causing it to hop away.

"Stupid freaking puddles!" Hugh cried as he kicked at the puddle, causing the frog to hop away faster. "Alright, Hugh. You can do this. Just sneak around the puddles."

Hugh tiptoed carefully around the puddles which were scattered across the marshy area. He made his way up to the frog, which hopped away without even noticing Hugh.

Hugh scowled as he tiptoed faster up to it, only to lose his balance.

"Wh-Whoa!" Hugh cried as he tried to regain his balance. He instead tripped and fell face-first into a puddle. He screamed, infuriated.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Frogs are stupid and anyone who likes them is stupid.

* * *

Vardaman, with a bucket full of three fish, approached the bear cave.

"This should be enough to get the bear to follow me," Vardaman said as he looked at his bucket.

He stopped at the mouth of the cave, began chewing on a tongue depressor, and made his way into the cave. Sure enough, there was a bear sleeping in the cave.

"Uh, Mr. Bear?" Vardaman asked. "Or Miss. Guess I didn't really bother to check. Uh, bear?"

The bear did not respond, as it kept sleeping.

"How am I going to wake it up without angering it...?" Vardaman wondered aloud.

Vardaman took the tongue depressor from his mouth and examined it.

"Hmmm..." Vardaman pondered his next move before throwing his tongue depressor at the sleeping bear.

The bear blinked before slowly waking up. It took notice of Vardaman, stood up, and stared down the country boy menacingly.

"Uh... want a fish?" Vardaman asked nervously as he took a fish from his bucket and held it up.

The bear roared loudly in Vardaman's face.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Today I learned that bears don't like to be woken up. Heh. Go figure.

* * *

Stormy~ continued her search through the forest.

"Alvin! Where are you?!" Stormy~ called.

No response.

"Alvin!" Stormy~ called.

Still no response.

"Aaaaaaaalviiiiiiiiiiiiin!" Stormy~ called.

"Who is Alvin?!" Warwick cried as he and Isidora approached Stormy~.

"The name of my future chipmunk," Stormy~ answered.

"Oh, real original," Warwick remarked.

"Aww, thanks," Stormy~ chirped.

"Have you seen any deer around?" Isidora asked.

"Can't say I have," Stormy~ said. "Have you seen a chipmunk?"

"No, and that's probably because you've scared them all off with all your yelling," Warwick said.

"Oh," Stormy~ said.

Just then, a chipmunk ran by, behind Isidora and Warwick.

"There he is!" Stormy~ shouted as she threw her net. The net landed on Isidora and Warwick.

"Gah! What are you doing?!" Warwick cried.

"Alvin is right behind you!" Stormy~ explained.

"Throw it at him, not me!" Warwick barked.

"Sorry," Stormy~ said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I think I'm starting to understand why Stormy~ went home so early before coming back. She's really not very good at this game. At all.

* * *

Amelie continued to run across the island away from the beavers. She ran past the river, into the forest, out the forest, across the beach, back into the forest, and eventually to the top of the thousand-foot cliff.

"I think... I lost them," Amelie panted.

Just then, the beavers waddled up to Amelie.

Amelie groaned softly as she looked at the beavers, then down at the water below the cliff, then back at the beavers, then the water. After saying a silent prayer to herself, she jumped off the cliff, screaming loudly as she descended. She coughed up water as she surfaced.

"That was terrifying..." Amelie coughed. "But at least I lost the beavers."

Just then, the beavers all landed in the water, one after the other.

"Oh come on!" Amelie cried as she swam away from them.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I wasn't even trying to break their dam! Cut me a break, beavers!

* * *

Genesis went behind the mess hall and found several garbage bags, filled up and tied shut. She looked at them unsurely.

Genesis tapped on her chin, shook her head, and approached one of the bags. She set her butterfly net down and tried to untie the bag. The knot was tied up tightly, and would not budge.

Genesis growled silently as she tried harder to pry the knot open. With no progress being made on this, Genesis opted to try and tear the bag open.

Genesis lifted the bag up as she tried with all her strength to rip it open. She strained and increased her strength until the bag tore open, sending trash flying all around, and covering Genesis in garbage.

Genesis threw her hands up in defeat before walking off.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Screw the challenge. I wasn't going to spend all day smelling and feeling like garbage. I took a shower.

* * *

Chris waited impatiently next to the cage, alongside Lindsay.

"What is taking them so long?" Chris asked.

"Catching animals isn't easy," Lindsay said. "Unless you're DJ. If you're DJ you can do it without even trying. Especially if you're not trying."

"DJ was a mess," Chris chuckled. He sniffed. "Speaking of messes, what is that smell? Smells like something got into the garbage."

"Maybe the raccoon you set loose?" Lindsay suggested.

"If that was the case, Genesis should have caught the thing by now," Chris complained.

Just then, one camper came dashing up to the cage with their animal. After getting the animal in the cage, they shut the cage door.

"Finally!" Chris huffed. "Congratulations! Invincibility goes to..."

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"Vardaman!"

"Whew!" Vardaman said as he took his hat off and wiped the sweat from his brow. The bear he had led ate the fish Vardaman had thrown in the cage to lure it there.

Just then, Amelie came running through the campground, the beavers still chasing her. Genesis emerged from the restroom, clad only in a bath towel, saw Amelie being chased by beavers, and silently snickered at the spectacle.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Well, I went deer hunting for the first time in my life, and all I have to show for it is getting netted! I was jipped!

 **Stormy~:** _(She has a chipmunk on her shoulder.)_ On the plus side, Alvin and I are friends now!

* * *

Amelie, Genesis, Isidora, Stormy~, and Warwick all met up in the girls' cabin.

"Alright, tonight's vote should be a simple one," Isidora said.

"Really?" Stormy~ asked.

"Well, obviously we're not voting for each other," Amelie said. "Which just leaves Hugh and Vardaman. And since Vardaman's invincible..."

"We finally get to vote out Hugh?!" Stormy~ gasped.

Genesis nodded with an asymmetrical smile.

"Works for me!" Warwick agreed.

"Now, if I know Hugh, which I may or may not, I don't know, we barely talked," Isidora began. "Anyway, he's probably going to try and get you guys to turn on this alliance. I'm not going to tell you that you can't, since, you know, free will, but I see potential in this alliance and I think that this can and will be the final five."

"Fear not. I know a good alliance when I see one, and this is an excellent alliance!" Warwick declared.

Genesis nodded.

"I'm all for voting out Hugh," Stormy~ said.

"Don't worry, I'm with you guys," Amelie smiled.

"Awesome," Isidora said. "In that case, this meeting is adjourned."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ For once, I don't feel like backstabbing anybody. I'm actually really comfortable with this alliance. Once Hugh and Vardaman are gone, we can just ditch Amelie and Stormy~, leaving me with Isidora and Warwick, the anemic and the fatty, in the final three. Chris said that Fauna quitting will give us a non-elimination round, and, since I don't think it's happened yet, and since Chris also said he wants to stick to twenty-six episodes, the finale will have three people. I couldn't ask for better people to bring to the finale, honestly.

 **Isidora:** I said it should be a simple vote, but I don't know. Things are so rarely simple in this game. I'm going into this one hoping for the best but expecting the worst.

* * *

Hugh and Vardaman met up in the forest.

"You see the girls anywhere?" Hugh asked.

"Nope," Vardaman informed him.

"See? Girls' alliance. Boom. Called it," Hugh said. "I couldn't find Warwick, but we can fill him in later."

"Actually, I think he and Isidora made up," Vardaman said.

"God damn- Are you serious?" Hugh asked, dismayed. "He's probably in the alliance too."

"Hate to admit it, but the more I think about it, the more sense this whole thing makes," Vardaman said as he began chewing on a tongue depressor.

"But all hope is not lost," Hugh said. "We can still try and work people over. It's worked in the past, and it can work here."

"What'd you have in mind?" Vardaman asked.

"You talk to Amelie and Stormy~. I'll talk to Genesis and Warwick," Hugh said. "I want Isidora out. Since she's given Warwick her hidden statue, she's a sitting duck, and I'm pretty sure she's the one holding that alliance together in the first place. We get rid of her, we get rid of the alliance."

"You of all people want to vote out - in your words - a cute single girl?" Vardaman asked.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures, my man," Hugh said. "Besides, what's more bad boy than stabbing someone in the back? If anything, she'll be _more_ turned on by me."

"Do you honestly believe any of this bad boy stuff that comes out of your mouth?" Vardaman asked flatly.

"Just let me dream, man," Hugh scowled.

"Anyway, you said for me to talk to Amelie and Stormy~, right?" Vardaman asked. "I think I can do that."

"Sweet. Godspeed," Hugh said as the two parted ways.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Is there a chance that I'm wrong about all of this and just being paranoid? Absolutely. But is it worth ignoring the risk? Hell no. If there's even a slight chance of me going home, I'm going to do something about it. Stormy~ knows this well. Heheheheh.

 **Vardaman:** Never would have thought my side deal with Hugh would actually amount to something, but Isidora does seem like someone we can definitely afford to vote out soon. Hate to do this to a friend and ally, but it's about time to get down to brass tacks if I want to win, and very much do.

* * *

Genesis and Warwick each had a plate of red meat as they ate dinner, sitting across from each other.

"So, how do you like it?" Warwick asked.

Genesis, with her mouth full of food, gave an approving nod.

"I finally found that deer after the challenge ended," Warwick boasted. "Since the rules of the challenge no longer applied, I was able to... well, make it dinner."

Genesis raised her eyebrow at Warwick.

"Makes me wonder if that duck Isidora was supposed to catch is still roaming about the island," Warwick thought aloud. "Ooooh, I'm salivating at the thought."

"Oh, hey, you two," Hugh said as he sat down next to Warwick. "Perfect. I was just looking to talk to you."

"What about?" Warwick asked.

"Look, I know we should be taking out Amelie and Stormy~ right now," Hugh said. "But I've been thinking. I think we can afford to let them stick around a little bit longer, so we can take out the real threats."

"Real threats?" Warwick asked. "But Vardaman's invincible, remember?"

Genesis gave Warwick a condescending look.

"Wait..." Warwick trailed off.

"Yeah, I'm talking Isidora," Hugh said. "Let's face it: she's a massive threat. Not only is she really strategic and stuff, but she's also weak as shit. Everyone's going to want to bring her to the finale. I bet even Amelie and Stormy~ would take Isidora to the finale over each other. And since no one wants to vote her out, she can keep on making these big strategic moves, basically meaning she gets to decide who goes to the finale with her."

"Well, that's good for me, isn't it?" Warwick asked. "I trust Isidora will take me to the finale."  
Genesis nodded.

"Okay, bad wording on my part," Hugh said. "But you guys do understand that Isidora could easily win this game if we're not careful, right?"

"Anyone left could win this game," Warwick said. "You'll have to do better than that."

"Warwick, if you honestly still trust Isidora after she led you on before, you're even dumber than I thought," Hugh said.

"Hey! Too far!" Warwick snapped.

"You trusted that she was your queen before, right?" Hugh asked. "Who's to say she's not just lying to you again to get her to stop targeting you?"

"No... she's not... Shut up!" Warwick stammered.

Genesis looked back and forth at the two, astonished.

"I didn't want to go there, but it's entirely possible," Hugh said. "I'm going to go grab a slab of whatever it is you two are having because that smells delicious. Think about what I've said."

Hugh got up and went to the kitchen.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hugh:** Okay, I definitely could have done better there, but I think reminding Warwick of Isidora lying to him in the past might have salvaged it. It goddamn better have!

 **Warwick:** ...No! Isidora can't be lying to me. She's been a real friend to me, even after everything. I bet Hugh just knows it's his head on the line and he's just scrambling to save himself!

* * *

Vardaman found Amelie, Stormy~, and Alvin each building sand castles at the beach.

"Evening, ladies," Vardaman greeted with a tip of his hat.

" _Konbanwa_!" Stormy~ greeted back.

"I just wanted to touch base with y'all and see how y'all planned on voting tonight," Vardaman said.

"Well..." Amelie started.

"We're voting for Hugh," Stormy~ said simply.

"I see," Vardaman said. "I'm surprised it ain't Isidora."

"Why Isidora?" Stormy~ asked curiously.

"Before I answer that, can I ask something?" Vardaman asked.

"Of course," Amelie said.

"Are y'all aligned with Genesis, Isidora, and Warwick?" Vardaman asked.

"Well..." Amelie started.

"How'd you know?!" Stormy~ gasped.

"Just had a feeling," Vardaman lied. "Anyway, since y'all are voting for Hugh, I take it you plan on sticking with that alliance?"

"Yes," Amelie admitted. "Sorry."

"Can I ask why?" Vardaman asked.

"What does any of this have to do with Isidora?" Stormy~ asked.

"Well, think about it," Vardaman said. "Say y'all vote out Hugh and me. That leaves you two with Genesis, Isidora, and Warwick. Not only have they been aligned all throughout the merge, they even started out on the same team. Their connection likely dates back much earlier than the merge. I think they're just using you two as a means to an end, and that end is getting them to be the final three."

"And you think Isidora is the biggest threat of the three?" Amelie asked.

"Well, Warwick ain't the smartest, and Genesis can't talk," Vardaman said. "I think Isidora has the most potential to win this game of those three, even despite her lack of challenge strength."

"We'll think about it," Amelie said.

"No, we won't!" Stormy~ objected. "I'm voting for Hugh and that's final."

"Well, I've said my piece," Vardaman said. "I hope y'all do take it into consideration."

Vardaman tipped his hat as he left the girls alone.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Stormy~:** Hugh's picked on Amelie and me all season! We will most certainly not be squandering our chance to vote for him! Isn't that right, Alvin? Oh, right, I didn't bring Alvin in here.

 **Vardaman:** I know Stormy~'s got kind of a past with Hugh, so I guess I can't blame her for being so stubborn, but Amelie... she actually has a bit of a past with Hugh too, doesn't she? ...Hopefully, Hugh had more luck with Genesis and Warwick than I did.

* * *

The seven campers all met up at the firepit for elimination. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"Final seven!" Chris said. "I might not even need a platter to hold all of these soon," he said as he held his platter a bit higher. "Anyway, tonight's marshmallows go to..."

"Vardaman!"

"Amelie!"

"Warwick!"

"Genesis!"

"Stormy~!"

Hugh and Isidora stared each other down.

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"Isidora!" Chris finally called.

"Dammit," Hugh muttered harshly as he stood up. "Well, you guys did it. You took out the baddest boy in the game. Good freaking job," he said with restrained annoyance.

"We are number one!" Stormy~ cheered to Alvin, who had been resting on her shoulder.

"If anyone wants to see Hugh off, you can follow us to the Dock of Shame," Chris said. Everyone else can head to bed."

* * *

Hugh, Vardaman, and Chris all came to the Dock of Shame.

"Sorry I couldn't get the girls to listen to vote Isidora with us," Vardaman said.

"Eh, we tried," Hugh grumbled. "I'm still pissed about being voted off, but I'm not going to act like I didn't see it coming."

"It won't be easy making through the rest of the game, but I'm going to try," Vardaman said.

"Well, that's great, but right now isn't about you," Hugh said. "I'm the one who just lost the game."

"Right. My apologies," Vardaman apologized.

"But really, good luck," Hugh said. "You're going to need it. And thanks for sticking with me."

"That's... awful polite of you to say," Vardaman said.

"I don't need to impress you," Hugh shrugged.

"And somehow this is the most impressed I've been with you all game," Vardaman chuckled.

"Whatever," Hugh said with a roll of his eyes.

"I think that's a good place to end this," Chris said as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors.

"Win it for the guys, Vardaman," Hugh said. "And no, before you ask, Warwick no longer counts."

"If you say so," Vardaman said.

"Vardaman, you can head to bed now," Chris said. "Any last words, Hugh?"

"This was a colossal waste of time," Hugh said. "No girlfriend, no cash prize. Give me a break."

Vardaman left the Dock of Shame. As they did, Hugh entered the Elevator of Losers.

"Hugh, you have finished the game in 7th place," Chris said.

"Time to meet some Boldface girls, I guess," Hugh said frustratedly.

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater. Chris turned to the camera.

"Despite his best efforts, Hugh just couldn't win the girls or the game," Chris said.

"Those were his best efforts?" Lindsay asked as she arrived on the scene.

"Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised," Chris chuckled. "But anyway, will Vardaman be able to stick around much longer now that he's the odd man out? Will Genesis keep up her secret that her phone still works? Will Isidora actually try in a physical challenge?"

"Will Amelie and Stormy~ stick with Isidora's alliance?" Lindsay asked. "Will Warwick's love for Isidora make things awkward for him? Will Alvin break out in a song?"

"What?" Chris asked, confused.

"It could happen!" Lindsay insisted.

"Well... I can hardly wait to find out myself," Chris beamed.

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Stormy~:** I vote for Hugh! This is for using my hidden statue on me!

 **Isidora:** If it can't be Vardaman, it has to be Hugh. I want to say I'm sorry for stabbing an ally in the back, but... it's Hugh.

 **Hugh:** Isidora, you're a bigger threat than you, or really anyone, make yourself out to be. The sooner you go, the better.

 **Vardaman:** I hate to do this, but I'd rather not stay in the minority, you understand. I vote for Isidora.

 **Amelie:** Honestly, I do see the points Vardaman's made about this alliance, but I can't let Hugh stay in this game over Isidora. It just wouldn't be right. I vote for Hugh.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ It's got to be Hugh. Sorry, not sorry.

 **Warwick:** My feelings for Isidora are... complicated... but my feelings for Hugh aren't. As in: I don't like him! So I vote for Hugh!

* * *

 _A/N: As is usually the case for obnoxious negative characters, I actually really liked writing Hugh. I thought he was a well-balanced villain, with enough strategic ability to be credible as a villain, but enough over-the-top antics to keep from being dull. I doubt someone like Hugh would make it as far as he did in a real life game, but that's what makes Total Drama so much fun, right? Anyway, like him or not, Hugh, finishes in 7th place._


	23. Ep 22: Bomb Voyage!

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, our campers went a-huntin'!" Chris recapped. "Each teen was tasked to capture and bring a different animal to the campground. Slapstick ensued."

"Thank goodness none of the animals got hurt," Lindsay said with a sigh of relief.

"But the campers got hurt, which is just fine apparently," Chris said. He began whispering to the camera. "Don't tell her about the deer."

"What was that?" Lindsay asked innocently.

"Nothing important," Chris claimed. "Anyway, Hugh began to catch on to the possibility of a girls' alliance, and he roped Vardaman along for his crusade to try and take them down."

"Meanwhile, Stormy~ made it her mission to get Amelie to enjoy herself in the game," Lindsay added. "And it turns out Genesis's phone does still work! But she's acting like it doesn't so people won't think to target her."

"Completely unaware of the fact that people are really annoyed at trying to communicate with her now," Chris added with a chuckle. "Things with Isidora and Warwick are still as complicated as ever since Isidora leading him on in the past has made things awkward between them."

"I pray for them every night," Lindsay said solemnly.

"Anyway, Vardaman managed to succeed in getting the bear of all things into the cage we set up in the campground, so he won Invincibility," Chris continued. "The girls set their sights on Hugh, but Hugh wasn't going down without a fight. He crusaded to get Isidora, the ringleader of the girls' alliance, eliminated. In the end, though, Hugh's poor social game finally bit him in the butt, and now we're down to six."

"That's one less than seven, and one more than five!" Lindsay added.

"And that's the most unnecessary bit of commentary I've heard in my life," Chris retorted. "Anyway, the end looms ever closer, and tensions are getting high? Who will snap under pressure? Who will stay calm and collected? Find out, right here, on Total!"

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

Isidora sat on her reading rock with a book when Vardaman approached her.

"Morning, Isidora," Vardaman greeted with a tip of his hat.

"Hey, Vardaman," Isidora said half-heartedly as she focused on her book.

"So..." Vardaman said awkwardly. "There really is a girls' alliance, isn't there?"

Isidora marked her book and shut it.

"I'm afraid there is," Isidora said. "Actually, referring to it as such isn't accurate, since Warwick is a part of it."

"I see," Vardaman said. "Well, I appreciate your honesty."

"No reason not to be," Isidora said. "For what it's worth, you were a great ally, and you're a good person in general."

"But I'm a threat?" Vardaman asked.

"Well, think about it from my perspective," Isidora said. "I've never been good at challenges. I've sat out as often as I could; the ones where I didn't sit out, I didn't even try half the time. I will try in the finale, though. I'll try until I pass out if it comes down to it. But if I want a chance at winning, I need to be in the finale with other people who are bad at challenges. Otherwise, I've already lost. I knew going in that my anemia would hinder me in this game. So I'm shaping my game around it. You understand, right?"

"I do, but in turn, I hope you understand that I'm going to do everything in my power to stop you," Vardaman said.

Isidora seemed taken aback by this.

"We're all here to win," Vardaman said. "And may the best of us win."

Vardaman offered his hand for a shake. Isidora accepted the gesture.

"Right," Isidora said. "Game on."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** Honestly, I am kind of worried that Vardaman could go on a challenge run, make it to the finale, and win. It's not like that hasn't happened before. I hate to say it, but he's the biggest obstacle between me and a million dollars, so you can rest assured that, as soon as he's vulnerable, I will be voting him out.

 **Vardaman:** I think Isidora and I have a mutual understanding: both of us need to get the other one out if we want to win. I may have all the challenge strength, but she has all the votes, and in the end, that's what decides whether someone stays or goes. Once she's gone, I won't have to worry about her leading the charge against me.

* * *

Genesis read a book in the girls' cabin when Amelie walked in.

"Hey, Genesis," Amelie said.

Genesis looked at Amelie and raised an eyebrow.

"I just wanted to see how you were holding up," Amelie said.

Genesis gave Amelie a suspicious look.

"I know we haven't really talked all that much in the past," Amelie started. "But I know you're terrified of not being able to use your phone, and, well, I know what it's like to be scared all the time. It's no fun. So if you ever need someone to talk to about... wait, no! Come on, Amelie, that's the one thing she _can't_ do!"

Genesis silently snickered.

"I swear I wasn't trying to tease you," Amelie insisted. "But, um, if you still have that notebook and want to talk that way, I'm always open to hearing you out."

Genesis nodded in understanding before returning to reading her book.

"So, you don't want to talk, I take it?" Amelie asked. "That's fine. Just find me if you ever want to do, okay?"

Amelie left the girls' cabin. Genesis rolled her eyes.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Yeah, I'm not buying that for a second. "Hey, Genesis, I know we've spoken maybe once before in passing, but I just want you to know that I'm here for you if you ever need support." Bullshit. She just knows that she and Stormy~ have the minority under Isidora, Warwick, and me, and she's trying to kiss up to me.

 **Amelie:** Genesis and I haven't had much of a chance to connect in this game, but like I said, I know what it's like to be scared all the time, so if she wants support, of course I'll lend a hand. People lent me a hand, so it's only fair that I do the same, right? _(She smiles.)_

* * *

Stormy~ wandered through the forest.

"Alvin?!" Stormy~ called. "Alvin?!"

"What is this bedlam?" Warwick scowled as he approached Stormy~.

"Alvin ran away," Stormy~ pouted.

"Would you quit it with that chipmunk?" Warwick scoffed. "It clearly doesn't like you, and your constant shouting is obnoxious!"

"You should help me find him!" Stormy~ suggested eagerly.

"Find it yourself, knave," Warwick scoffed.

"I am _not_ a knife!" Stormy~ huffed. "Come on, pleeease?"

"We already have one obnoxious chipmunk with you around," Warwick said.

"I thought we were supposed to be friends and allies!" Stormy~ pouted.

"Allies, yes," Warwick said. "But shouting everything and acting like you're the center of the universe are my two least favorite traits in a person!"

"You told me I was one of your favorite people on the island," Stormy~ frowned.

"I changed my mind!" Warwick responded. He sighed. "Guh, my emotions have been all over the place these days. I'm... sorry for lashing out."

"Awwwwwww, it's okay!" Stormy~ cooed as she pulled Warwick in for a tight hug.

"But I'm still not going to help you find that chipmunk!" Warwick insisted.

"Aw," Stormy~ pouted as she let go.

Silence.

"So... what's it like?" Warwick asked. "When someone you like returns your feelings?"

"Well, being a super famous and adorable pop star, it's not hard to find boys who like me," Stormy~ giggled. "I can't say I know what it's like to not have your feelings returned. But I can say this: don't focus all your thoughts on one person. It's not healthy. I did that with Hugh, you know? He cheated me out of the game, and, when I wasn't spending time with Lester, I was being angry at Hugh. It was no fun. After I came back, I learned that, if I focused on him, I couldn't focus on how much fun the game is! So... I stopped! Trust me, you'll be a lot better off if you forget about Isidora and just try to enjoy yourself."

"But it's haaaaaaaaaaard," Warwick whined.

"I know," Stormy~ said as she put her hand on his shoulder. "But it'll feel so good if you can do it."

"...I'll try," Warwick said with a slight smile. "Thanks for that. I needed that."

"Of course!" Stormy~ responded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** I will admit that Isidora has been taking over my thoughts for a long time as of late. But can you blame me? She's beautiful and intelligent, and... maybe Stormy~'s right. I just bummed myself out, thinking about how great she is, and then how she'll never see me more than just a friend.

 **Stormy~:** I never did find Alvin. Maybe he really didn't like me. _(She gasps.)_ Is this how Warwick feels about Isidora?! Oh, no!

* * *

Amelie ate breakfast in the mess hall when Isidora sat across from her with breakfast of her own.

"Morning, Amelie," Isidora greeted.

"Oh, good morning," Amelie smiled.

"You up for some game talk?" Isidora asked.

"Um, sure," Amelie said. "What's up?"

"Well, as you know, it's basically our alliance versus Vardaman, right?" Isidora asked.

"Yeah?" Amelie asked.

"Well, Vardaman's also a known challenge threat," Isidora said. "So it's entirely likely that he's going to be Invincible tonight."

"That's true..." Amelie realized forlornly.

"That's why I'm offering you a final three deal," Isidora said after looking around to see if anyone else was there. "You, Warwick, and me."

"Why me?" Amelie asked curiously. "Why not Genesis?"

"There's a lot of factors to it, honestly," Isidora admitted. "The main two are this: Genesis is a backstabber, and I'm not sure I can trust her to hold true to the final three. And, to be frank, you, Warwick, and I are the worst at challenges of the six left. I'm not sure any of us will stand as much of a chance in the finale unless we are the final three. I want the people in the finale to have a fighting chance, you know?"

"I guess that makes sense..." Amelie thought aloud.

"If you don't want to do it, that's fine," Isidora said. "I know you don't like being told how to vote anymore, so don't feel pressured into doing this. I'm just extending the option."

"...Okay," Amelie said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** "I know you like being told how to vote anymore"? What kind of thing to say is that? First of all, the only person I've said anything about that to is Stormy~. Secondly, "anymore"? Did I have some kind of reputation as someone who liked being told how to vote? ...I mean, yeah, probably. But I-I'm trying to change!

 **Isidora:** To be entirely honest, I don't _need_ Amelie. I'd rather take her to the final three than Genesis, but if Amelie doesn't want to go through with it, I know Genesis would be more than happy to. I know I said she's a backstabber, but she's not stupid. I don't think she'd turn on anyone who promised her final three.

* * *

Vardaman sat on his bunk in the boys' cabin, reading a piece of paper, when Warwick walked in.

"Hey, Vardaman, old buddy, old pal!" Warwick greeted.

"Huh?" Vardaman asked as he diverted his attention from the paper. "Oh, howdy, Warwick. What's going on?"

"Well, we're the last two men on this island," Warwick pointed out. "I figured we should have some guy time, you know?"

"Er, alright," Vardaman said. "What did you have in mind?"

"...I don't know," Warwick admitted. "I just kind of rushed into this. So, uh, what are you reading there?"

"Oh, this is just my note from home," Vardaman said. "I miss my family, but it won't be much longer until I can see them again."

"I see," Warwick said.

"Say, what's your family like?" Vardaman asked. "You gave up your note from home, right?"

Warwick seemed to space out.

"Warwick?" Vardaman asked.

"Wha?" Warwick reacted as he broke out of his trance. "Oh, my family? It's, uh, it's complicated."

"Anything you're willing to talk about?" Vardaman asked.

"I'd rather not, frankly," Warwick said. "That's a whole load of drama I haven't even dropped on Isidora yet."

"I understand that," Vardaman nodded. "How are things with Isidora, by the way?"

"Also complicated," Warwick admitted.

"Sorry to hear that," Vardaman said.

"Worry not," Warwick said confidently. "It will all be well once I win the money and can buy my own country."

"Well, you'll have to get through me first," Vardaman chuckled.

"Will I?" Warwick asked. "Or will you have to get through me?"

"Pretty sure it's the former," Vardaman said.

"...Yeah, you're right," Warwick realized.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Every day I get one step closer to buying my own country. I just need to win this game, and as long as I have that statue Isidora gave me, I can't be voted out, so I think I'm guaranteed a finale spot at least. Verily, this game shall be mine!

 **Vardaman:** I haven't been away from my family for this long before, but I know they're holding up without me. We Foshees aren't a weak people.

* * *

Stormy~ continued to look through the forest when she came across Genesis, strolling through with her hands in her pockets.

"Oh! _Ohayōgozaimasu_!" Stormy~ greeted as she skipped up to the mute girl.

Genesis could only give an awkward wave in response.

"Oh, right, your phone still doesn't work, huh?" Stormy~ asked.

Genesis gave a slight nod.

"Didn't we talk about this a couple days ago?" Stormy~ realized. "Not being able to communicate at all. Is it hard?"

Genesis gave Stormy~ a flat look.

Silence.

"Oh, right, you can't answer that, can you?" Stormy~ realized.

Genesis raised an eyebrow.

Silence.

"Hey, want to help me look for Alvin?" Stormy~ offered.

Genesis shook her head as she strolled away from Stormy~.

"Oh," Stormy~ said disappointedly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Guess it's too much to ask for a peaceful walk now that I don't really have any obligation to talk to anyone. You're almost at the end, Genesis. Just bear it for a little bit longer.

 **Stormy~:** One of these days, I _will_ go for an entire day without using my voice. Once I can find a good day to do it, of course... I'll ask my agent what my schedule is like when the game's over.

* * *

The six campers met up at the campground with Chris and Lindsay.

"Alright, final six! Time for your next challenge!" Chris announced. He held up a red gelatinous ball, roughly the size of a baseball, with an opaque red center. "Today's challenge is a little thing I like to call 'bomb tag'."

"Bomb tag?!" Amelie gasped.

"Bomb tag," Chris nodded.

"Are you alright with this?" Vardaman asked Lindsay.

"Don't worry, the bombs are harmless," Lindsay assured the campers.

"I think that defeats the purpose of bombs," Isidora remarked.

"These are sticky paint bombs," Chris said. "At the start of the challenge, we'll stick one of these on one of you. Once it's stuck on someone, it'll start ticking. After a while, it'll explode, covering whoever it's stuck to with paint. Of course, you can try and tag it onto another camper before it explodes. If a bomb explodes on you, you're out of the challenge. We'll keep doing this until all but one of you has fallen victim to a sticky paint bomb. That person will win Invincibility. Oh, and don't even think of sticking these things onto a tree or something. The camera _will_ see you, and you _will_ be ejected from the challenge if you try that. No tag-backs, either, until there are two of you left. Any questions?"

"Is there anywhere we're restricted from going?" Warwick asked. "Obviously we'll be running away and hiding from whoever has the bomb. Anywhere we can't go?"

"No restrictions besides the usual staff area," Chris said.

"Isn't there a reward for this one too?" Lindsay mentioned.

"Ah! Right!" Chris remembered. "Whoever wins this challenge will win five thousand dollars! Even if you don't win this game, you could still walk away with some money."

"Five thousand? That's it?" Stormy~ asked.

"It's more than most of these guys make in a month," Chris shrugged.

"I mean, you're not wrong," Isidora shrugged. "It's not easy getting a job when you're weak and you hate talking to people."

Warwick gave Isidora a concerned look.

"Anything else?" Chris asked. No response. "Good. Let's get this challenge under way!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** How badly do you think it'll hurt when the paint bomb blows up? I'm pretty sure I'm not winning this one, so an estimate would be nice. ...I'm just going to assume it hurts a ton. It probably won't, but if I expect it to, then it won't hurt as much as I expect, right? ...But if I'm not actually expecting it to hurt a lot, then-

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ So it's the hide and seek challenge, but with exploding paint balls? Well, if you'll recall, I won the hide and seek challenge for my team, and I think I can win this one too.

 **Isidora:** Yay, more athletics. If I get stuck with a paint bomb, I'll probably just throw the challenge. I know, I know. I hate how useless I am too...

 **Stormy~:** I hope I don't get paint on me. This outfit wasn't cheap. Well, I can probably afford another, but my manager would be very angry with me if I ruined this one.

 **Vardaman:** I _need_ to win this challenge if I want to stay in the game. Isidora's turned on me, probably Warwick with her, maybe Genesis too. You can bet I'll be doing all I can to keep myself alive in this game, and this challenge ain't going to be any different.

 **Warwick:** I've already ruined this cape and these shoes in challenges past, so I don't care about getting paint on them at this point. I can always buy more, you know? In light of this, I shall actually try in this challenge!

* * *

Chris stuck the first paint bomb onto Amelie's arm, and it began beeping and flashing on and off. The other contestants ran (or in Isidora's case walked briskly) away from Amelie as quickly as they could, all in different directions.

"Eep! Why me?!" Amelie squealed.

"Alphabetical order," Chris said casually.

"Uhhhhh..." Amelie panicked as she looked around, trying to remember which directions the others had gone. Eventually, she headed for the forest in hopes that she'd find someone there.

* * *

Amelie ran through the forest as quickly as she could whilst scanning the surrounding area for anyone who might have escaped her. The paint bomb's flashing and beeping had increased in frequency.

"Where are you guys?!" Amelie cried.

Amelie looked up at the trees, wondering if someone might have been hiding amongst the branches. She promptly ran face-first into a tree, and the paint bomb exploded, covering her with red paint.

"Ahaha! And that does it for Amelie!" Chris announced over PA. "Genesis, you're up next! We have cameras on all of you always, so getting an intern to stick a paint bomb on you won't be difficult. Even if you try to run and hide!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** It's a big island! How am I supposed to _find_ one of five other campers, let alone tag them with the bomb?

* * *

Just as Amelie was about to leave the forest, an intern ran by her with a dormant, orange-colored paint bomb. He expertly tossed it into the branches of a tree, causing Genesis to fall out, the paint bomb stuck to her head and the fuse ticking.

"Oh, come on," Amelie pouted. "She was right there?"

Genesis stood up, dusted herself off, took the bomb off of her head, and ran out of the forest.

"...Quite the arm you have there," Amelie said to the intern.

"We're not allowed to converse with the contestants," the intern responded.

"Oh. Okay. Sorry," Amelie mumbled.

* * *

Genesis had run to the campground and looked around frantically for a potential hiding spot where one of her opponents could have been hiding. The paint bomb was still in her hand, ticking faster than before. She ran into the mess hall and looked as quickly and as thoroughly as she could. Unable to find anyone, she ran into the kitchen, where she found no one. She checked the walk-in freezer, and no one was there either. She ran as quickly as she could out of the mess hall, only for the paint bomb to explode in her hand, covering her arm in orange paint.

"There goes Genesis's bomb!" Chris announced over the PA. "That's two down, four to go. You guys chose some good hiding spots. Either that or we made the fuse too short. Hehaha. Either way, Isidora's up next. Better get ready!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I'm convinced that this challenge is impossible and that it was rigged for Warwick to win somehow.

* * *

Chris and Lindsay were in the monitor room, watching over the campers.

"Are all the bombs that quick to blow up?" Lindsay asked.

"Heheh. Yup," Chris responded.

"Well, how's anyone supposed to find the other campers?" Lindsay asked.

"I dunno. They could get lucky?" Chris asked.

"So it's all luck-based? That doesn't seem fair. Especially for people whose name is earlier in the alphabet," Lindsay pointed out.

"Well, it's too late now," Chris shrugged.

"I'm just saying, maybe you should have kept it just in the forest or something," Lindsay said.

"I'm sorry, is it your job to tell me how to do challenges?" Chris asked, annoyed.

"Yes?" Lindsay answered.

"...Okay, technically it is, but only to keep me from making them too fun," Chris said.

"You mean 'too dangerous'?" Lindsay asked.

"That's what I said," Chris said. "I can't wait for the post-season meeting."

"What meeting?" Lindsay asked.

"You know, the meeting to determine whether or not you get to keep your job," Chris said smugly. "I'm gonna have some things to say."

"Oh, right, that meeting!" Lindsay remembered. "Isn't that meeting to determine whether _you_ get to keep _your_ job?"

"It's both," Chris said dismissively.

* * *

Isidora, who had been hiding in the boathouse, had just had a yellow paint bomb stuck onto her arm by an intern. She groaned, slowly stood up, and trudged on over to the boys' cabin. She opened the door, entered the cabin, and shut the door. Warwick had been hiding behind where the door opened, leaving him exposed.

"Uh... hi," Warwick chuckled.

"Hi," Isidora smirked as she stuck the paint bomb onto Warwick's arm.

"Wah!" Warwick cried. He took the paint bomb and prepared to stick it back onto Isidora.

"No tag backs, remember?" Isidora reminded him.

"Gahhhhh!" Warwick cried. He dashed out of the boys' cabin, only for the paint bomb to explode, covering him in yellow paint.

"It pays to pay attention to where your competition is hiding," Isidora said to the camera as she lied down on one of the empty beds.

"And there goes Warwick!" Chris announced on the PA. "Stormy~, you're up next!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Blast it all! Done in by my own love! It's practically Shakespearean... or at least it would be if this wasn't a silly game for a cash prize.

* * *

Stormy~ had hidden under the Dock of Shame when an intern stuck a green paint bomb onto her arm.

"Hey!" Stormy~ objected. She tore the paint bomb off of her arm and threw it back onto the intern.

"Stormy~!" Chris scolded over the PA. "I told you that you can't try and get rid of the paint bomb except by sticking it onto another camper! Doing so will result in you being eliminated from the challenge! So you're out!"

"Oh. Right," Stormy~ realized. "Shoot. At least I don't get paint on me!"

The intern stuck the paint bomb on Stormy~'s face. The paint bomb exploded instantly.

"That was just uncalled for!" Stormy~ sobbed.

"Maybe, but it was funny!" Chris cackled. "Vardaman, next paint bomb's on you, dude!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Stormy~:** My clothes, hair, and makeup are all ruined! I hate this challenge!

* * *

Back in the monitor room, Lindsay had just set off Chris's shock collar.

"Hey, I didn't tell the intern to put it on her face," Chris objected.

"Yes he did," an intern commented.

"Who asked you?" Chris scowled. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"Your beer," the intern said as she offered Chris a brown bottle.

"Wait, that's beer?!" Lindsay gasped.

"Who are you, my mom?" Chris asked. "I can have one beer if I feel like. I'm going to need it as long as you're here."

"I don't care if you drink it!" Lindsay clarified. "But I had some! I didn't know!"

"I sincerely doubt anyone's going to punish you, Lindsay," Chris deadpanned.

"Alcoholism runs in my family!" Lindsay cried. "I don't want to risk getting addicted! That's why I promised never to drink!"

"O-Oh," Chris said awkwardly.

"Do you still...?" the intern asked Chris.

"Yes, but keep a padlock on these things," Chris instructed her as he took the beer.

"Will do," the intern nodded as she left the room.

"I don't want to ruin my life..." Lindsay whimpered.

Chris sighed before taking a sip of his drink. "Look, Lindsay, you're not going to ruin your life with one beer. Now that you know what alcohol tastes like, and now that you know what the bottles look like, you know what to avoid."

Lindsay sniveled. "...I guess so. I'm just scared."

"You'll be fine. I promise," Chris told her. "I've had a million of these things. I know what I'm talking about."

Lindsay smiled. "Okay."

* * *

Up on the top of the thousand-foot cliff, the male intern from before stuck an indigo paint bomb on Vardaman's arm.

"Here we go!" Vardaman said as he jumped off the thousand-foot cliff and into the water below.

During his descent, Vardaman took the bomb off of his arm and held it tightly against his chest. He landed in the water, surfaced, and swam up to the beach, the bomb still in his hand. He ran as quickly as he could to the campground - his first stop: the girls' cabin. He looked back and forth, up and down, and found nobody.

Vardaman quickly made his way to the boys' cabin, where, sure enough, Isidora lie on one of the beds.

"Shoot," Isidora said flatly.

"I'm awful sorry," Vardaman said as he stuck the paint bomb onto Isidora. "But it's you or me."  
Vardaman ran out of the boys' cabin. Isidora stood up off the bed to give chase, but she proved too slow, and the paint bomb exploded all over her.

"And that's game!" Chris said over the PA. "Vardaman wins the challenge, individual Invincibility, and five thousand dollars!"

"Alright!" Vardaman cheered as he threw his hat into the air.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** Eh, I did about as well as I could have, I think. I don't think I'm in any danger anyway.

 **Vardaman:** Whew. That takes a load and a half off of my mind, let me tell you. I would have been a goner had I not won this challenge. Now, should I try and push for Isidora to go, or wait and see what the others might be saying?

* * *

Genesis, Isidora, and Warwick all met up in the forest.

"Alright, you guys are my ideal final three," Isidora told the two. "As such, I trust you two the most to discuss potential plans for tonight. We can't vote for Vardaman because he's Invincible, but we still have Amelie or Stormy~. Any preferences,?"

"Stormy," Warwick quickly said.

Genesis nodded in agreement.

"Well, that was easy," Isidora said with a slight grin. "I was actually leaning more towards her myself."

"Shouldn't we get Vardaman in on this?" Warwick asked.

"He and I are... no longer working together," Isidora said. "No animosity or anything, we just understand that I need him gone if I want any of us to have a shot at winning, and he wants me gone in order to keep the target off of himself."

"A rivalry for the ages!" Warwick declared. "And until our next chance to wage battle, we shall join forces against the over-the-top, annoyingly loud one!"

Genesis gave Warwick a condescending look, which he did not notice. Her eyes then lit up.

"Genesis? Something the matter?" Isidora asked.

Genesis looked to be pondering something.

"Tsk, that's right, you can't really communicate with us, can you?" Isidora asked. "Did you bring your notebook at least?"

Genesis shook her head.

"I see," Isidora said. "We can discuss it later. But can we all agree to vote Stormy~ tonight?"

"Yes," Warwick nodded. Genesis also nodded.

"Good," Isidora said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** There are definitely bigger threats than me in the game, even besides Vardaman, and I think the others realize that. Stormy~ is one of them... kind of... and she's kind of annoying to boot, so I'm more than happy voting her out.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I was going to ask if she was considering getting Vardaman's vote just to ensure we're in the majority. I really should pretend my phone suddenly works now. This whole "not communicating effectively" thing is getting old.

* * *

Isidora met up with Amelie and Stormy~ under the Dock of Shame.

"Why are we hiding?" Amelie asked.

"And where's Genesis and Warwick?" Stormy~ asked.

"They won't be joining us right now," Isidora said. "And here's why: I actually want to vote out Genesis tonight."

"Genesis, huh?" Amelie asked.

"She is getting pretty hard to talk to," Stormy~ admitted.

"Exactly," Isidora agreed. "That, plus I don't really trust her a whole lot. It was going to be Vardaman tonight since he's a huge threat, but since he's Invincible now, we'll have to vote for the next-biggest target, that being Genesis. You know, if you want to."

"That works for me!" Stormy~ agreed.

"I don't know. It doesn't seem fair voting for someone because she lost the ability to speak to us," Amelie thought aloud.

"She knew what handicaps she had when she signed up for the show," Isidora said. "It's harsh, yes, but this game will be so much easier once we're able to talk to everyone left. We can't if Genesis is still around."

"I guess..." Amelie thought aloud.

"Like I said, I'm not telling you to vote for her, nor am I making you. I'm just asking that you consider it," Isidora said. "There aren't a lot of options left, so choosing who to vote won't be easy from here on out, but it's something that has to be done."

"It's true!" Stormy~ agreed. "Better her than you, right?"

"Am I the other option?!" Amelie gasped.

"Not to my knowledge, no," Isidora said. "But you get where I'm coming from, right?"

"I do," Amelie said. "I'll think about it."

"That's all I can ask for," Isidora smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** True, I haven't talked to Genesis much, and true, she's probably the one here I trust the least... but voting for someone for having a disability just feels wrong to me, you know?

 **Stormy~:** I don't know why Amelie has to hem-haw every time someone suggests to her how to vote. It's not like she's going to pick anyone to go home herself. ...Am I a bad friend for talking about her like this behind her back?

* * *

Isidora found Vardaman eating dinner alone in the mess hall.

"How's the food?" Isidora asked.

"What do you want, Isidora?" Vardaman asked.

"Why do you assume I want something?" Isidora asked, hurt.

"You don't talk to people unless you want something from them," Vardaman pointed out.

"Look," Isidora continued, annoyance clear in her tone. "I told Genesis and Warwick that I'm voting for Stormy~. I told Amelie and Stormy~ that I'm voting for Genesis. I wanted to let you be the one who decides who you and I vote for tonight."

"Does this change the fact that you're voting for me as soon as I'm vulnerable?" Vardaman asked.

"That's not relevant to tonight's vote," Isidora said.

"Then why are you asking me?" Vardaman asked.

"I didn't want to leave you out of the loop. That's just common courtesy," Isidora explained. "Plus, I wanted to show that, despite everything, I still consider you a friend and respect you as a competitor."

"Alright. Let's vote for Stormy~, then," Vardaman said. "She didn't have to work her way through the premerge, and she was never allied with either of us so it's only fair."

"Works for me," Isidora nodded. "Honestly, I was leaning more towards her myself, so I'm glad we're on the same page here."

"Yeah..." Vardaman responded.

"I can tell you don't want to talk to me, so I'll leave you to your dinner," Isidora said as she stood up and left.

"Give me a break..." Vardaman muttered as he continued eating his dinner.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** What Isidora just did was not only a move of colossal arrogance but of colossal stupidity, too. She just told me that she's trying to play two sides, so now all I have to do is tell those sides, and now the target is shifted onto the one who's pushing hardest for me to go home. Hey, it's no sneakier than anything she's done.

 **Isidora:** Look, I like Vardaman. I think we all like Vardaman. And that's part of the problem. Vardaman is easily the biggest threat in the game, and he can and will win if we don't deal with him as soon as possible. That said, I don't want Vardaman to go home, whenever that may be, with any hard feelings. ...I've come to learn that my actions can hurt people, and I'm trying to work on that.

* * *

Vardaman had gathered Amelie, Genesis, Stormy~, and Warwick into the boys' cabin.

"Why'd you gather us all here?" Stormy~ asked.

"Everyone but Isidora..." Amelie noticed.

"Pushing for Isidora to go, are we?" Warwick asked.

"That's right," Vardaman said. "Now hear me out. Isidora came up to me earlier tonight. She told me that she told you two..." he gestured to Genesis and Warwick "that she's voting for Stormy~, and to you two..." he gestured to Amelie and Stormy~ "that she's voting for Genesis. Is that true."

"She did tell me and Genesis that Stormy~ was the target!" Warwick confirmed.

"And she did tell Stormy~ and me that she was voting for Genesis," Amelie added.

Genesis and Stormy~ glanced at each other, intrigued.

"What I'm saying here is that we can't trust Isidora," Vardaman said. "She's trying to play all sides and run the game here, right down to telling me what the options to vote were. She thinks she decides who stays and who goes. I don't like it. I can't imagine the rest of you do."

Nobody said anything. They all looked to be thinking.

"I get this is a lot to take in," Vardaman said. "I was taken aback, too."

"Did she say who she was going to vote for?" Amelie asked.

"She said she was voting for Stormy~," Vardaman confirmed.

"Me?!" Stormy~ gasped. " _Kanojo wa dōshite atashi ni sore o suru koto ga dekimasu ka_?"

"Well this just got a lot more complicated," Warwick commented.

Genesis nodded in agreement.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** I know I'm not in danger now, but I will be in the future. Heck, losing Isidora probably won't change how much of a target I am. But it will help my chances strategically. Isidora's smart. Really smart. And that's bad for me, because, despite her not being all that socially inclined, she knows how to convince people to do what she wants. And she wants me gone. If she's gone, I can at least try to keep the target off myself and potentially succeed. Hey, any chance is better than no chance.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Yeah, that's it. If I survive tonight, I'm breaking the phone back out. I can't be a target in this game without the ability to speak. I won't bring it back now because the timing would be too convenient, but tomorrow morning... tomorrow morning could work.

 **Stormy~:** Why does Isidora want me gone so much? I didn't do anything to her. I'm not even a threat to her! _Atashi wa nani o shimashita ka_?

* * *

Chris sat in the monitor room, watching a video of a panda trying to climb a fence.

"Heheheh. It's funny because it might fall and crack its head open," Chris chuckled.

"Mr. McLean?" the female intern from before entered the room.

"What are you doing here? I didn't ask for another beer," Chris asked.

"I wanted to talk. If that's alright," the intern requested.

"About what?" Chris inquired suspiciously.

"Your conversation with Lindsay earlier," the intern explained.

"Look, when you get to be my age, your hair doesn't always stay this naturally-"

"Not that," the intern interrupted. "About the beer."

"Look, she never caused any noticeable damage, and-"

"Not that, either," the intern interrupted. "You comforted her when she was afraid."

"Pfft. Did not," Chris denied. "I was just trying to keep her from whining about it for the rest of the season. Besides, I sent you to padlock the alcohol cabinet. How'd you hear all that?"

"I... I eavesdropped," the intern confessed. "Lindsay seemed upset. I was going to talk to her later, but you did a good enough job consoling her."

"I don't pay you to listen in on private conversations," Chris leered.

"You seem kind of defensive, Mr. McLean," the intern pointed out.

"Yeah, I don't want you spreading false info around," Chris insisted.

"...You care about her, don't you?" the intern smiled.

Chris sighed. "My dad's father was an alcoholic. It messed with my dad deeply, and me by extension. I know how scary it can be. No one deserves to go through it, no matter how much they electrocute me." Chris scratched underneath his shock collar.

The intern smiled. "Your secret's safe with me."

"It'd better be, or you're fired," Chris threatened.

"Y-Yes sir," the intern complied.

* * *

The six campers all met up at the firepit for elimination. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"Twenty of your fellow campers have fallen," Chris said. "Stormy~ did too, technically, but I digress. One of you will be joining them soon. You guys ready to find out who it is?"

Nobody answered.

"'Kay, then," Chris said as he got ready to toss out marshmallows.

"Vardaman!"

"Amelie!"

"Warwick!"

"Genesis!"

"What?!" Isidora asked, taken aback, as she looked at Stormy~, who looked nervous.

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"Stormy~!" Chris called.

"Yay!" Stormy~ cheered as she caught her marshmallow.

"Wow..." Isidora said. She shook her head in disappointment.

"It was you or me," Stormy~ said.

Isidora turned to face Vardaman. "You told them, didn't you?"

"You didn't give me much of a choice," Vardaman responded. "You were gunning for me and lying to the others to try and get what you wanted."

"Sorry for playing the game," Isidora scowled.

"Don't apologize to _me_ ," Vardaman said. "I'm the one person here you _didn't_ lie to."

"Like you've never lied to anyone before," Isidora retorted.

"I've tried not to," Vardaman said.

"I can't take this anymore!" Warwick interrupted.

"Yeah, Isidora, if you'll follow me to the Dock of Shame..." Chris said.

"No!" Warwick said. He fished through his pockets and pulled out a blue-painted wooden replica of Chris's head. "I play the Invincibility Statue on Isidora!"

"Warwick..." Isidora said, touched.

Chris took Warwick's statue. "This IS a legit statue," Chris confirmed. "That means that all votes for Isidora are nullified, and the person with the next-highest number of votes against them is going home.

"...Wait, what?!" Stormy~ gasped.

"Oh no," Amelie frowned.

"I got eliminated by a statue... _again_?!" Stormy~ cried.

"Ironic, ain't it?" Chris chuckled. "Don't answer that. I don't actually care if it's ironic or not. Anyway, if anyone wants to see Stormy~ off, you can follow us to the Dock of Shame. The rest of you can head to bed."

* * *

Stormy~, Amelie, and Chris all came to the Dock of Shame.

"I can't believe Isidora lied to us," Stormy~ said. "And, even though we all found out, she's still in the game!"

"That's Total Drama," Amelie said. "But hey, you managed to come back and vote out Hugh. That's something, right?"

"That is true," Stormy~ giggled. "Plus I got to hang out with you some more. I've made some great friends in this game, and you're one of them!"

"Likewise," Amelie smiled. "And I'll do my best to win for you. And for Ephraim, and Mondo too."

"I know you can do it!" Stormy~ encouraged.

"If nothing else, I don't think I'm anyone's biggest target," Amelie giggled.

"Heehee. Remember when you thought you were _everyone's_ biggest target?" Stormy~ recalled.

"I try not to," Amelie said with a playful jab to Stormy~'s arm.

"And yet, it's been recorded in the annals of Total Drama history," Chris chuckled as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors.

"I'll see you soon, Stormy~" Amelie smiled.

Stormy~ pulled Amelie in for a crushing hug.

"Too...tight...!" Amelie wheezed.

"It's never too tight when it's a goodbye hug!" Stormy~ insisted.

"Stormy~, let Amelie go. It's time for her to head to bed," Chris instructed.

"Okay," Stormy~ said as she let go of Amelie.

"Any last words, Stormy~?" Chris asked.

"I've said everything I need to, I think," Stormy~ said.

"Bye," Amelie said as she left the Dock of Shame. As she left, Stormy~ entered the Elevator of Losers.

"Stormy~, you have finished the game, for real this time, in 6th place," Chris said.

"Oh! If you find Alvin, let me know, okay?" Stormy~ requested.

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater. Chris turned to the camera.

"Both of our returnees have, well, returned to the Coal Mine of Failure," Chris said. "And we have our final five."

"They've all fought for their right to be here!" Lindsay added as she arrived on scene.

"With varying degrees of effort," Chris added. "Will Isidora and Vardaman continue to be at each other's throats? Will Amelie, Genesis, and Warwick be able to slip on by in light of it?"

"Will everyone remember that it's just a game and that getting along will make them happier and live longer?" Lindsay asked.

"I can hardly wait to find out myself," Chris said.

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Vardaman:** Isidora, you've made your stance on me very clear. I'm not just going to sit back and let you turn everyone against me. So you've left me no choice but to turn everyone against you. Sorry, but I'm here to win too. And I vote for you to leave.

 **Stormy~:** I don't want to go home! Or an ally who lies to me! So I'm going to vote for Isidora!

 **Isidora:** Genesis, Warwick, Vardaman, and myself... this has almost become too easy. I, along with the aforementioned, vote for Stormy~.

 **Amelie:** Isidora has lost a lot of my respect over the course of the day. I don't think I can allow her to stay much longer. I'm sorry.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ To think, I considered Isidora one of my closer allies at this point in the game. Finding out that she was throwing my name under the bus isn't a good feeling. You know what? I can make do without her. I vote for Isidora.

 **Warwick:** Even if Isidora is trying to play two sides, she's assured me that I'm in her final three plans no matter which side she ends up going with, so I think I can trust her to keep me safe no matter what happens. So I'm standing by her and voting for Stormy~! _(He gives an uncertain smile.)_

* * *

 _A/N: And that's both returnees down! Stormy~'s merge arc was... a thing. I'll admit she was never the most involved in the strategy or overall plot of the story, but I do think that bringing her back was necessary for reasons I'll get into more when the season is over. I can say, though, that with everyone else growing more three-dimensional and/or strategic, having Stormy~ around as an over-the-top doof through-and-through felt necessary to keep it feeling like Total Drama. Besides, she did end up serving justice upon Hugh after he cheated her after the game before. Now that it's the home stretch, though, I didn't think she was necessary to keep around much longer, so away she goes._


	24. Ep 23: All in the Family

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, we stuck sticky paint bombs onto the campers and watched as they frantically tried and failed to stick them onto each other!" Chris said gleefully. "Many clothes were ruined that day."

"A moment of silence for the poor clothes that were-" Lindsay started.

"Isidora made her stance on Vardaman quite clear to the country boy," Chris interrupted. "She saw him as a threat that needed to be dealt with. He wasn't too happy about this, though, and swore to eliminate Isidora before she could eliminate him. Meanwhile, Genesis and Stormy~ continued to not play the game, for differing reasons of course, while Amelie and Warwick tried to get a grasp on what exactly was going on."

"Why can't people just always tell the truth to each other and not make each other paranoid?" Lindsay pouted.

"Then the viewers wouldn't have anything to latch onto," Chris chuckled. "Vardaman won Invincibility for the night, forcing Isidora to choose a new target. She offered a gesture of respect to Vardaman by letting him choose between Genesis or Stormy~ to go home, but Vardaman told the other four campers about Isidora throwing her allies under the bus, turning them against her. Isidora would have gone home that night, if not for Warwick coming in clutch with the last McLean-Brand Invincibility Statue, saving the anemic girl, and sending Stormy~ home for the second and last time."

"And now we're at the final five!" Lindsay chimed in.

"Yep," Chris nodded. "These five campers have had quite the journey making it this far, and tonight... none of them will go home! What do I mean? Find out, right here, on Total!"

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

Amelie, Isidora, Vardaman, and Warwick all ate breakfast, sitting as far away from each other as possible when Genesis entered the mess hall.

"Good morning, everyone!" Genesis texted.

"Morning," Vardaman responded. He did a double take. "Hold on..."

"Your phone!" Amelie noticed happily.

"Yeah, I was messing around with it this morning, hoping against hope that it might work, and somehow it does!" Genesis texted.

"Well thank goodness!" Warwick exclaimed. "Do you know how hard it was to talk to you?"

"Our generation really is spoiled by smartphones..." Isidora muttered as she glanced at Warwick.

"Believe me, it was no picnic for me, either," Genesis texted to Warwick. "But that terrifying chapter of my life is over, so now we can talk freely again!"

Genesis then looked around the room.

"Why are you all sitting as far away from each other as possible?" Genesis texted.

The others all glanced at each other, hoping one of them would answer. None of them answered.

"Well, I'm not picking sides," Genesis texted as she approached the kitchen. "So I'm eating in the girls' cabin."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Acting like my phone was broken was a mistake. The fact that I could have gotten voted out last night definitely proved that. And actually, Isidora surviving last night could actually benefit me because now she and Vardaman are going to be focused on taking each other out rather than me.

 **Isidora:** It's awfully convenient that Genesis's phone works _now_ after she became a target last night. Whatever. As long as she's still good to take out Vardaman - and really, there's no reason she shouldn't be - I don't really care.

 **Vardaman:** Now that Genesis's phone works again, I should really talk with her about our alliance. Is she still loyal to me? Is she more loyal to Isidora? Does she have any loyalties?

 **Amelie:** Now that Stormy~'s gone, I do feel like kind of the odd one out. But I'm not going to give up! I've made it too far to let my fears get the best of me! ...I just need to muster up the courage to try and talk to people about the game.

 **Warwick:** Last night, I saved Isidora using the hidden statue she gave me. She had two potential final three deals, and both of them involved me, so I know that confusing though our relationship might be, she wants to take me to the finale, and I'm not about to lose an ally who could be my ticket to the finale!

* * *

Isidora, Vardaman, and Warwick had finished their meals and left the mess hall, leaving Amelie and Genesis. Amelie glanced at Genesis, took a deep breath, and moved to the seat across from her.

"Um, hi, Genesis," Amelie greeted.

Genesis gave Amelie a nod of acknowledgment as she used a knife and fork to cut a waffle.

"So... final five," Amelie continued. "That's pretty cool, huh?"

Genesis nodded.

"You're busy eating, aren't you?" Amelie realized. "I'm sorry. I can talk later."

As Amelie stood up, Genesis swiftly grabbed her phone and began texting.

"What did you want to talk about?" Genesis texted.

"Oh! Um..." Amelie sat back down. "Well... Stormy~'s gone, mostly thanks to Isidora and Warwick."

"I know she at least definitely voted for Stormy~," Genesis texted. "Not sure about Warwick."

"And Vardaman said that she was considering targeting you, too," Amelie said.

"You want an alliance, don't you?" Genesis texted with a savvy grin.

"Was-Was it that obvious?!" Amelie gasped.

"Only because I was considering the same," Genesis texted. "I know I can't trust Isidora anymore, and I doubt I can trust Warwick, either. Vardaman, I actually think I can trust. So I think you and I should team up with Vardaman. Try and get Isidora out at least. We should still lose Vardaman before the finale, though, and, knowing how many episodes the average Total Drama season has, I think the finale will be at final three, so this won't be easy since we don't have a lot of time."

"That's true..." Amelie realized. "Do you think we can do it?"

"It'll be difficult, but doable," Genesis texted. "We just need to make sure that Vardaman doesn't win the final four challenge. And if Isidora is immune during the final five challenge, we can just vote out Warwick. We can still beat Isidora in a challenge, but we also can't trust her to take us to the finale, so we'll have to take matters into our own hands."

"You've put a lot of thought into this," Amelie noted.

"Hey, when you can't talk to other people, you end up talking to yourself in your own head," Genesis texted. "But I take it you're in? Since you approached me and all?"

"Y-Yes! I'm in!" Amelie confirmed.

"Excellent," Genesis texted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ It's been too long since I've been able to really play the game, you know? I took a backseat to a lot of the action ever since the merge happened, so as to not become a target, but now's the best time to strike, I feel. I'm not going to make the finale by sitting on my butt, that's for sure, so I'm taking the game into my own hands.

 **Amelie:** Well... that was easy. I think... I actually think I can do this! I don't think I'm anyone's biggest target. I might even make the finale. _(She giggles.)_ Wouldn't that be the day?

* * *

Vardaman had just exited the communal washroom when Isidora approached him.

"So," she started. "You told them?"

"You'll have to be more specific," Vardaman said.

"You know what I mean," Isidora glared. "You told Genesis and Stormy~ that I was targeting them both, didn't you?"

"I did," Vardaman confirmed.

"Unbelievable," Isidora scoffed. "I let you in on my plans as an act of courtesy and good sportsmanship, and you stab me in the back."

"Beg your pardon, but you told me earlier that same day that you were planning on voting for me as soon as you could," Vardaman said.

"Yes, I _told_ you!" Isidora pointed out. "You went behind my back."

"Well, I certainly hope you weren't expecting me to just hope I win every challenge in order to stay alive in this game," Vardaman said. "I need the prize money for medical school, and I've learned that, if you want to win, you're going to have to play dirty sometimes. You've done the same to a lot of people."

"Two wrongs don't make a right, Vardaman," Isidora said as she shook her head.

"And what about Genesis and Stormy~?" Vardaman asked. "You didn't tell either of them that you'd gone and thrown them under the bus, did you?"

"So you're justified in screwing me over because I was just playing the game?" Isidora asked.

"I never said that," Vardaman said. "I'm saying that you should do unto others as you'd like done to yourself."

"So, what, you want me to go behind your back and throw you under the bus?" Isidora asked.

"Wouldn't surprise me at this point," Vardaman shrugged.

"Because you're just the paragon of virtue in this game, aren't you?" Isidora said sarcastically.

"There is no good guy or bad guy in this situation, Isidora," Vardaman said. "Just two people doing what they need to to get by in this game. I thought we'd established this."

"Well, don't expect any more information out of me," Isidora said.

"I wasn't," Vardaman said.

Isidora grimaced before walking away.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** Of all the condescending... Vardaman definitely believes he's the good guy in this situation, so him acting like he doesn't just angers me even more. I shouldn't let him get under my skin like this, I really shouldn't. I should be focusing on how to get rid of him.

 **Vardaman:** _(He is chewing on a tongue depressor.)_ The way I see it, Isidora's gotten a taste of power, and now that it's slipping away from her, she's starting to panic. Which, honestly, is good for me. Hate to say it, but the more panicked she is, the less clear her head is, and the easier it'll be to get rid of her. Nothing against her, just the game.

* * *

Warwick sat atop the thousand-foot cliff when Amelie approached him.

"Good morning, Warwick," Amelie greeted.

"Ah, Amelie," Warwick acknowledged. "I suppose you're here for an apology. I know I was allied with you and Stormy~ at a point, but this late in the game, things change. I'm sorry."

"I actually wasn't here for that, but I appreciate it anyway," Amelie said bashfully.

"Then why are you here?" Warwick asked warily.

"I was just curious on how things were going with you and Isidora," Amelie said as she sat down next to him. "We talked about it before, and I just wanted to see how things were going between you two."

"I'm not sure, myself," Warwick said with a resigned chuckle. "I know we're allies, and that I can trust her, but I still can't shake the feeling that she'll never see me as more than a number. I don't feel comfortable around her. And yet I don't want her to go..."

"Have you talked to her one-on-one recently?" Amelie asked.

"A couple days ago we tried, but it got awkward and I had to leave," Warwick admitted.

"That doesn't sound good," Amelie muttered.

"It's just..." Warwick sighed. "She knows I like her, and I can't be around her without feeling... judged, I guess."

"Why do you think she's judging you?" Amelie asked.

"Because she's super smart and cool and stuff, and, well, look at me!" Warwick explained. "I'm not smart, I'm not cool, I'm just kind of a flabby mess who actually thought he had a chance with this girl."

"Warwick..." Amelie said.

"It just sucks, you know?" Warwick sighed. "Unrequited love is the worst, and it's even more the worst when the one you love knows you love them."

"Does she know that you feel judged?" Amelie asked.

"I'm not going to tell her," Warwick said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Then she's just going to judge me even more. She probably already can't stand me."

"After you saved her from going home last night?" Amelie asked. "I think she'd be grateful."

"I don't know," Warwick said. "I might try talking to her later today. I just need some time to process this."

"That makes sense," Amelie nodded. "Good luck with this, Warwick."

"Thanks," Warwick said quietly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I can tell Warwick's really confused about everything, and that's not a fun position to be in. Even though I think he's technically my enemy at this point, I do hope he's able to figure out his feelings.

 **Warwick:** I actually labored for a while over whether or not I would use my statue on Isidora last night. In the end, my desire to win overtook my desire to be free of this confusion. It's not like I'm going to see her ever again after this is all over anyway, so I might as well struggle with my feelings a bit longer if it means I can eventually become the king I always wanted to be.

* * *

Genesis and Vardaman met up in the forest.

"It's been too long since we've been able to talk game," Genesis texted.

"You want to talk game with me?" Vardaman asked. "I thought I was everyone's target. You don't have to act like I'm not yours."

"You're actually not," Genesis texted. "Hearing that Isidora threw me under the bus last night kind of opened up my eyes, you know? Isidora has no intention of taking me to the finale. And here's Vardaman over here, letting me in on some helpful information. Maybe he actually does still want to work with me. Who am I to say no?"

"So you genuinely do want to stick with me. How about that?" Vardaman smiled.

"I do," Genesis texted with a nod. "I also want to work against Isidora and Warwick. Right now they're the minority, but, if you went home, they'd almost certainly have every say in who got to go to the finale alongside them, and I don't like that."

"What about Amelie, though?" Vardaman asked.

"I actually spoke with her earlier," Genesis texted. "She's onboard to get rid of Isidora next. Or Warwick if she's Invincible."

"Is she really?" Vardaman asked curiously.

"Her only real ally went home last night. I think we can trust her," Genesis texted.

"Maybe, but what's stopping her from siding with Isidora and Warwick over the two of us?" Vardaman asked.

"I guess there really isn't anything, but she actually approached me wanting to work together," Genesis texted. "She could be trying to play both sides, but this is Amelie, the same girl who voted for Jasper and Zarardo because they were too mean. I doubt she's playing dirty."

"True," Vardaman thought aloud. "I'm glad to hear that you're still willing to work with me, by the way. Figured everyone was after me since I'm so strong physically."

"Nah, I'll only ditch you at final four," Genesis texted with a merry, silent chuckle.

Vardaman gave an awkward chuckle in response.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Of course I don't trust Genesis completely. I know her reputation. But at the same time, having her as an ally is better than having no one as an ally. Guess Amelie's finally getting that alliance with me she wanted, too. I'm still going to try in the challenges, of course. I'm going to need to.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Having Vardaman as an ally this late into the game when he's such a target is a risky move, sure, but it'd be riskier to just let Isidora decide everything. I'd rather decide everything for myself, you know? _(She silently chuckles.)_

* * *

Isidora sat on her reading rock with a book when Warwick approached her.

"Isidora," Warwick said nervously.

"Hm?" Isidora looked up from her book. "Oh, hey Warwick. What's up?"

"I just..." Warwick sighed. "I've felt really weird around you lately, and I figure, if we're going to keep being in the game together, I might as well try and get over that."

"You still have feelings for me, huh?" Isidora asked softly.

"Yeah," Warwick admitted. "And every time I'm around you, I can't forget the fact that you don't like me back. Then I get all insecure and stuff, especially since you said you still want to be friends, but my emotions are the only thing preventing that, so I feel like I'm solely responsible for all this awkwardness, and I hate it!"

"Well, I'm glad you're telling me and not just holding it in. Holding it in's not a good idea," Isidora said. "Do you feel any better telling me?"

"I don't know," Warwick said. "I feel judged."

"I'm not judging you," Isidora smiled as she marked her book and shut it. "I've been in your exact position in the past. Trust me, I know what it's like."

"I don't believe that," Warwick said with a slight smile. "You're smart, you're pretty, you're cool... who'd reject you?"

"Every boy I've ever had feelings for," Isidora blushed. "I appreciate the compliments, though."

"I'm nothing if not an honest king!" Warwick boasted. After a brief pause, he sighed.

"Warwick, how often do you read?" Isidora asked.

"I've tried reading books on kings of the past, so I know what to do and what not to do, but it's kind of boring," Warwick admitted.

"Well, whenever I've felt down about myself, I picked up a book and let that distract me," Isidora said. "Stories are a great way to help you forget your woes. They even give you something to think about when you're not reading."

"Maybe..." Warwick pondered. "I'm not much of a reader."

"Would it be condescending if I offered you a book meant for a bit of a younger audience?" Isidora asked.

"How young are we talking?" Warwick asked.

"Elementary school," Isidora admitted. "It's about 250 pages long. It's about a space princess I think. I didn't love it, but you might enjoy it."

"250 pages seems manageable," Warwick thought aloud. "I'll give this reading thing a trial run with this book."

"Awesome," Isidora smiled. "And hey, if it proves too easy for you, I have a ton more books on hand."

"You're too kind," Warwick smiled.

"Hey, what are friends for?" Isidora smiled back.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** _(He looks at the cover of a book)_ This really does look juvenile. But Isidora was genuinely trying to help, and, to be fair, this is probably about as long of a book I can read without getting bored. I'll give it a shot.

 **Isidora:** I honestly couldn't have asked for a better final three partner than Warwick. Yes, I probably have an easier time beating him in a challenge than the others, but he's also been a good friend and ally to me. I'm sure he'll come to terms with us being a platonic thing eventually.

* * *

The five campers met up with Chris and Lindsay on the Dock of Shame.

"Final five! Are you guys ready for your next challenge?" Chris asked.

"Depends on what it is," Vardaman said.

"That was a trick question. You're not!" Chris laughed. "You see, today's challenge is a special kind of challenge. Today's challenge is solely for reward. No Invincibility on the line."

"Really?" Amelie asked.

"Yes, and that's because there will be no elimination tonight," Chris continued.

"Then why bother with the challenge at all?" Warwick asked.

"Today's reward is... kind of special," Chris said.

"I'm scared," Isidora said flatly.

"Before I go any further..." Chris looked off into the distance. "Why don't you guys meet your partners for this challenge?"

"Partners?" Genesis texted with a raised eyebrow.

Just then, a small yacht parked up to the Dock of Shame.

"Amelie, your partner for this challenge... your father, Charles!" Chris introduced.

"What?!" Amelie gasped.

The boat's ramp came down and down walked a tall Asian man with salt-and-pepper hair and a circle beard.

"Daddy!" Amelie smiled. She ran up to the man and hugged him.

"I missed you, too, sweetie," Charles said with a slight smile. "How have you been holding up?"

"It hasn't been easy, but I've made it this far, haven't I?" Amelie asked.

"You'll all have the chance to talk to your partners shortly," Chris said. "Genesis, are you ready to meet your partner? And when I say 'meet', I think this is actually the first time you've met this person in real life. It's your internet friend, Gracelyn!"

Genesis gave an excited smile as a teenage girl exited the boat. She was Caucasian, and her red hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She wore an intricate, fantasy-esque red-and-yellow outfit.

"Genny!" Gracelyn squealed as she ran up and gave her friend a big hug, which Genesis returned.

"You came in your cosplay?" Genesis texted as the girls broke their embrace.

"I thought it'd be cool to show it off on international TV," Gracelyn said as she winked at the camera and put a finger to her chin.

"We lose one over-the-top girl who plays dress-up, and we gain another," Isidora remarked to Warwick.

"Ready to find out who came to see you, Isidora?" Chris asked.

"Tell me it isn't Vinnie," Isidora said exasperatedly.

"Your mother, Hannah!" Chris announced.

"Oh thank goodness," Isidora said with a sigh of relief.

A middle-aged Caucasian woman stepped down the ramp. She wore sharp-rimmed glasses and an olive pantsuit.

"My child," Hannah smiled.

"Hey, Mom," Isidora smiled back. "Glad to see you."

"The individuals behind the operation of this televised competition insisted that your brother come to see you, but I insisted harder that I am the one to take his place," Hannah explained. "I concluded that the both of you would appreciate this arrangement far more."

"You concluded correctly," Isidora giggled.

"Vardaman, your turn!" Chris announced. "And we actually did get your brother. Here's Cassius!"

A tall, stocky, Caucasian young man, not much older than the campers, made his way down the ramp. He had short, dark-brown hair and wore a blue flannel shirt.

"Howdy, Cassius!" Vardaman greeted.

Cassius gave a grunt of response with a nod and a barely-visible smile.

"Come on, ain't got nothing to say to your brother you haven't seen in a month?" Vardaman teased.

"Howdy," Cassius responded bluntly.

"Aw, this guy," Vardaman said as he pulled his brother in for a hug.

"And last but not least, Warwick!" Chris said.

"Who could they have possibly gotten to visit me?" Warwick asked in disbelief.

"Your butler, Hawthorne!" Chris announced.

"That sounds about right," Warwick said.

A Caucasian man in his 20s stepped down the ramp. He had tidy blond hair and dressed in formal attire.

"Master Warwick," Hawthorne greeted with a bow.

"Hello, Hawthorne," Warwick responded emotionlessly.

"Wait, you have butlers?" Amelie asked.

"Just the one," Warwick answered.

"The Sadalfas family has two maids as well as myself in their employment," Hawthorne explained.

"And the three of you do all the work in the house?" Charles asked.

"You can all get to know each other later," Chris interrupted. "Loved ones, you guys get to make confessionals, then you can spend some time with your respective camper before we get to the challenge."

"That's awfully nice of you," Vardaman pointed out.

"Loathe as I am to admit it, this thing trained most of the fun out of me," Chris lamented as he tugged at his shock collar.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Charles:** If I recall correctly, this season began with twenty-six contestants. To think my little Amelie is in the top five... I'm very impressed.

 **Gracelyn:** Genesis and I met online on a forum where we talked about all kind of nerd culture. She leans more towards reality TV, and I lean more towards cosplay, but our mutual love of handheld video games brought us together! Now if they would just make a Total Drama video game...

 **Hannah:** I must express my pleasant surprise that my young daughter has avoided elimination in this contest for as long as she has. I'd feared her unfortunate physically limiting condition would bring her journey to an abrupt conclusion, but she seems to have put her intelligence to excellent effectiveness.

 **Cassius:** Ain't surprised Vardaman's doing so well. He's a hard worker. Got a good head on his shoulders. Won't be surprised if he wins, neither.

 **Hawthorne:** I must admit, I didn't expect to be visiting Warwick during his time in the game. The maids and I all thought he wouldn't last very long, but it seems we've all been proven wrong. As his butler, though, I will be assisting him in any way he needs me to for as long as I'm here.

* * *

The campers and their loved ones had all broken off to catch up with one another. Amelie and Charles went to the girls' cabin.

"So, have you been enjoying your time here?" Charles asked.

"It's been stressful," Amelie admitted. "But I think I'm really having a good time."

"That's good," Charles smiled. "Amelie, do you know why I signed you up for this game?"

"To help me come out of my shell?" Amelie guessed.

"That was part of it," Charles confirmed. "The main reason, Amelie, is that I wanted to see you happy. Total Drama is the kind of once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that will make lifetime memories for you. Before this game, you didn't seem like you were living a happy life. You holed up in your room all day, not really talking to anyone, no long-term friends. And you were miserable, darling. It broke my heart seeing you like this. So I took a risk and signed you up for this game. I knew it might backfire, but I also knew that, deep down, you had what it took to win deep inside of you. And it looks like I was right."

"Daddy..." Amelie sniveled as happy tears ran down her face. "You're so sappy."

"I work with emotions for a living, sweetie. I have to be in touch with my own, too," Charles laughed.

The two shared a hug.

"So have you made any friends out here?" Charles asked.

"I have!" Amelie confirmed happily. "They've all been voted out, though. One of them actually left last night."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Charles frowned.

"It's fine," Amelie said. "I'll see them again soon. Whether I get voted off, or whether I make the finale, I'll be able to see everyone again. And I want to win this, for them, and for you."

Charles hugged his daughter once again.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I'll admit, I wasn't too happy with my dad for making me do this at first, but I'm glad he did. Looks like he was right all along about me just needing a little push. Hopefully, I won't be so nervous outside of the game too.

* * *

Genesis and Gracelyn met up together in the forest.

"So, you really do use your phone to communicate in real life," Gracelyn noted. "That's really cool."

"It's not as easy as just talking, but I get by," Genesis texted with a nod.

"I'm so used to just IMing you, so this is new for me," Gracelyn added. "And I guess this is the first time you're hearing my voice, huh?"

"No," Genesis texted. "I follow your gameplay channel on YouTube."

"Oh, right," Gracelyn remembered.

"Actually, there was a Let's Player in this game," Genesis texted. "I think his name was Lester or something. Ring any bells?"

"Not all Let's Players know each other, Genny," Gracelyn said. "What's next, are you going to say we all look the same to you?"

Genesis silently chuckled.

"But hey, it's cool that you're able to make it so far in the game despite your disability," Gracelyn complimented.

"I'm going for the 'hope everyone underestimates me because of it' angle," Genesis texted. "Seems to be working so far. Some people have had my number, but obviously, it hasn't worked out for them."

"You go, Genny!" Gracelyn said as she winked and put her finger on her chin.

"Looks like your cosplay turned out well," Genesis texted.

"Yeah!" Gracelyn cheered. "Took me a while to put together, but I'm happy with how it turned out."

"You'll turn a lot of heads at your next con," Genesis texted.

"Oh, stop," Gracelyn giggled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Gracelyn and I had always talked about getting together at some point, but without the time or money to do so, it's been difficult. I'm glad we finally got the chance.

* * *

Isidora and Hannah met up at Isidora's reading rock.

"This is where I sit when I want to get some reading done," Isidora told her mother. "The cabin isn't a good place to be alone since, you know, other people tend to use it. Besides, I could use some fresh air and sunlight. I don't get those very often."

"I wager you've experienced your share of both during your time on this island," Hannah noted.

"True," Isidora nodded. "We do have challenges almost every day, and those take place outside."

"Have you been taking care of yourself?" Hannah inquired. "I know you desire a victorious outcome at the end of this experience, but I'd be loathe to find out you've pushed yourself too hard and allowed serious harm to befall you."

"Don't worry, I'm saving all my energy for the final challenge," Isidora assured her. "I've had a couple close shaves, but only when the challenge forced me to. The swimming challenge... thank goodness we only had one of those."

"It does my heart well to hear that you've kept yourself healthy and safe," Hannah said. "What are your opinions on your opposition? Have you found yourself with more allies or rivals?"

"Equal amount of both, I'd say," Isidora answered. "As for everyone that's left, I have one ally, one rival, and the other two, I'm largely unsure of."

"Might I ask to whom you are referring?" Hannah asked. "I spoke with the other visitors on the boat ride here. They told me of their respective loved ones, so I almost feel like I know them as well as you might."

"My ally is Warwick, if you can believe it," Isidora said. "That's a long and complicated story, but long story short, he's the one I trust the most and the one I'm most confident I can beat in the final challenge."

"Hawthorne had mixed perceptions on Warwick," Hannah recalled. "I sense you do as well."

"...My rival in this is Vardaman," Isidora said. "He gets on my nerves. Starting to get kind of self-righteous. Not to mention the fact that, if he makes it to the final challenge, he's won the game, no questions asked."

"I've always believed that the concept of determining the winner of such a strategically-and-socially based game through a test of strength was counterproductive at best," Hannah said.

"Amelie and Genesis, I don't know," Isidora said. "I've been allied with them in the past, but I don't think either of them trusts me."

"Have you given them reason not to?" Hannah asked.

"I have to do what I have to do," Isidora said. "I can't rely on my strength or sociability to get by. I've had to deceive some people to get by."

"As long as matters don't become personal, I understand that dishonesty is a part of the game," Hannah nodded.

"I'm almost there," Isidora said.

"And I believe that you have the plans and the means to emerge victoriously," Hannah smiled.

"I like to think so," Isidora smiled back.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I'm playing the game I need to in order to win. But am I playing a game I'm proud of...? I've definitely said and done some things I'm not proud of, I'll admit, but will winning make it worth it? I'd say it does. If I win, I'll be proud of the game I played. If not, then I can't be.

* * *

Vardaman and Cassius went to the boys' cabin.

"So," Cassius said. "Think you're gonna win?"

"I hope so," Vardaman said. "Right now I've got kind of a big target on my back since I'm such a threat to win."

"Better than people wanting you gone cause you suck," Cassius shrugged.

"You ain't wrong," Vardaman chuckled. "Still, I'd really like to become a doctor someday, and the prize money from this game could really help me get into medical school. I'd hate to have made it so far for nothing."

"You ain't having fun?" Cassius asked.

"Can't say being targeted is all that fun," Vardaman admitted.

"Did you have fun before that?" Cassius asked.

"I did," Vardaman smiled.

"...Meet any girls?" Cassius smirked.

"Thirteen, as a matter of fact," Vardaman chuckled. "Actually, there is one girl that caught my eye."

"The pale one?" Cassius asked.

"Naw, the girl I like got voted off a while ago," Vardaman explained. "We were on different teams, actually, and she left right before the merge."

"Shame," Cassius said. "You think the pale one's single?"

"I ain't even sure she's eighteen," Vardaman said as he gave his brother a weird look.

"She don't look much younger," Cassius said.

"Heck's wrong with you?" Vardaman winced.

"She's cute," Cassius shrugged. "'Sides, I'm twenty-one. Ain't that much older."

"This is why the girls back home don't notice you, you realize that?" Vardaman asked.

"They notice me, I just ain't one for conversation, so I ain't good at making the first move," Cassius insisted.

"You tell yourself that," Vardaman mumbled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Cassius ain't a bad guy, he just has an odd sense of humor to him. Also, he likes younger girls. I'm hoping that, as he gets older, so does the minimum age of the girls he likes. Isidora does seem to attract the weird types, though, doesn't she? _(He chuckles.)_

* * *

Warwick and Hawthorne went to the kitchen. Hawthorne was in the midst of preparing lunch for Warwick.

"So, they've had you preparing your own food, this season?" Hawthorne asked.

"Well, for most of the game I had one of my allies do it for me," Warwick admitted. "After he went home, I taught myself some basic stuff. You're still much better than I am, though."

"That's why I'm the butler, isn't it?" Hawthorne quipped.

"Frankly, I'm surprised my mother let you visit me at all," Warwick noticed.

"Julianne and Karina promised to pick up the slack," Hawthorne explained. "I owe them, quite frankly."

"You three do work awfully hard," Warwick nodded.

"Well, you know how your mother is," Hawthorne said with an empty smile.

"This is probably a stupid question, but has she made any indication that she'll watch this season?" Warwick asked.

"None that I've noticed, I'm afraid," Hawthorne answered.

"Good!" Warwick said. "If she saw how much fun I've had, I'd be grounded until I was seventy!"

"You know your mother loves you, Warwick," Hawthorne said. "She's just busy and very stressed."

"Please. I doubt she even remembers my middle name," Warwick said.

"To be fair, it's awfully hard to pronounce," Hawthorne responded.

"Honestly, I doubt that woman even remembers how old I am," Warwick said. "She hasn't celebrated any birthday of mine for as long as I can remember. I'm honestly surprised she even had me at all. I've been nothing but a burden to her."

"Warwick... you're the one thing keeping her sane," Hawthorne said under his breath.

"How's the pasta coming along?" Warwick asked.

"It's coming as quickly as it can come," Hawthorne answered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** My mother is one of the coldest, most standoffish people I've ever met. Hawthorne is just paid to be on her side. When I become king, I'll allow my help to hold any opinions they wish. A free monarchy - truly a revolutionary idea, no?

* * *

After time had passed, Chris and Lindsay had summoned the campers and their loved ones to the amphitheater. In lieu of the bleachers, there were now ten lecterns with LCD screens at the front.

"Welcome, campers and loved ones, to today's challenge!" Chris said from the stage. Before we begin, I want each of you to stand behind the lectern with your name on it."

The ten individuals all found their respective lecterns and stood behind them.

"Here's how this challenge is going to work!" Chris continued. "All ten of you will be competing in this one. This challenge is a sort of trivia. Lindsay or I might ask the campers a question about their visitors, or we might ask a visitor a question about their campers. Everyone has to answer the question by using the stylus provided to write on your lectern's screen, even if you're not the one being asked because if you're not being asked, you'll still be providing the right answer. After everyone has given an answer, I'll reveal all the answers. If both the camper and visitor give the same answer, that pair earns a point. If not, they don't. There'll be ten questions total. Whoever earns the most points gets a fancy dinner on our party boat with their visitor. Any questions?"

"Yeah, there'll be ten," Cassius smirked. Isidora giggled in response.

"Smart-ass," Chris mumbled. "Any questions from you guys about how the challenge is going to work?"

Silence.

"Awesome," Chris said. "Then let's get this started!"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Charles:** Hmm... my Amelie has shut herself out from her mother and myself for a while as of late. I hope that doesn't harm our chances in this too much.

 **Gracelyn:** Genny and I have shared everything with each other! Even some of our fetishes. I think we can do this! _(She winks and puts her finger on her chin.)_

 **Hannah:** Neither Isidora nor I are particularly socially inclined, however, I believe that our natural brainpower and intuition can more than make up for this fact in spades.

 **Cassius:** Eh. We could win. I dunno. _(He shrugs.)_

 **Hawthorne:** Though I've not been employed under the Sadalfas family for long, I've come to know much about young master Warwick in this short time. I think there's a chance we could win this.

* * *

"Question one!" Chris began as he read from a cue card from a pile he held in his hands. "Campers! What is your visitor's middle name?"

The participants all entered their answers onto the lectern.

"Has everyone answered?" Chris asked. "Let's see how everyone did!"

Charles's answer was "Richard", Gracelyn's answer was "Natalie", Hannah's answer was "Amanda", Cassius's answer was "Dewey", Hawthorne's answer was "N/A".

Amelie's answer was "Richard", Genesis's answer was "Elizabeth", Isidora's answer was "Amanda", Vardaman's answer was "Dewey", Warwick's answer was "N/A".

"Everyone but Genesis gets a point!" Chris announced.

"I don't even know your last name," Warwick realized to Hawthorne.

"As long as I'm under your mother's employment, I will only be known as Hawthorne to you," Hawthorne explained. "The maids have the same rule placed onto them."

"Have I never told you my middle name?" Gracelyn asked Genesis.

"I guess not," Genesis texted.

"If only we'd gotten that question. I know yours," Gracelyn thought aloud.

"Moving on to question two!" Lindsay announced.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Being related to my visitor probably helped. Same with Amelie and Isidora. Gives me hope for the challenge.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Shoot, Gracelyn does know my middle name, doesn't she? Well great, now I feel like a bad friend not knowing hers until now.

* * *

"Question two!" Lindsay continued as she read from her own stack of cue cards. "Visitors! At what age did your camper have his or her first kiss?"

"You didn't make all your questions about their love lives, did you?" Chris asked.

"Not _all_ of them," Lindsay huffed.

The participants all entered their answers.

"Alright, let's see how everyone did!" Lindsay said eagerly.

Amelie's answer was "N/A", Genesis's answer was "14", Isidora's answer was "16", Vardaman's answer was "13", Warwick's answer was "N/A".

Charles's answer was "17", Gracelyn's answer was "14", Hannah's answer was "16", Cassius's answer was "12", Hawthorne's answer was "N/A".

"Wow, who knew half of our final five were such losers?" Chris chuckled. Lindsay set off his shock collar. "Eh, anyway... Charles and Cassius both got theirs wrong, but the rest all earn a point!"

"You were young," Isidora commented to Vardaman.

"Aw, you know how puberty is," Vardaman chuckled.

"We're still technically going through puberty," Isidora reminded him.

"Daddy," Amelie said nervously. "When did you think I'd been kissed?"

"I thought you might have found someone here in the game," Charles admitted.

"I didn't... sorry," Amelie apologized.

"Don't apologize, sweetie," Charles said. "We can still win this."

Amelie smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hawthorne:** I hadn't considered the possibility of Warwick being kissed in the game... Could you blame me, though?

 **Gracelyn:** Genny actually told me that story! About how the quarterback asked her to homecoming and actually kissed her too! She thinks it was a dare or a pity date. I wasn't there, so I couldn't say.

* * *

"Question three!" Chris announced. "Visitors! What is your camper's favorite song?"

The participants all entered in their answers.

"Does everyone have their answers?" Chris asked. "Let's see how we all did!"

Amelie's answer was "Fireflies", Genesis's answer was "Scar Tissue", Isidora's was "Bridge Over Troubled Water", Vardaman's was "Remind Me", Warwick's was "Call Me Maybe".

Charles's answer was "Fireflies", Gracelyn's answer was "Californication", Hannah's was "Let It Be", Cassius's was "?", Hawthorne's was "California Gurls".

"Looks like Amelie and Charles are the only ones to get this one right," Chris pointed out. "That puts them in the lead with two points alongside Isidora and Hannah, and Warwick and Hawthorne. Genesis and Gracelyn and Vardaman and Cassius are trailing in last with one point each."

"I hope we can overcome such a daunting lead the others have on us," Genesis texted.

"It's not that ba- okay, that was sarcasm. I see that now," Gracelyn responded.

"Not even a guess?" Vardaman asked Cassius.

"Lot of songs in the world," Cassius shrugged. "I dunno what you listen to."

"Question mark is definitely one of my favorites," Isidora quipped. Cassius chuckled in response.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hawthorne:** I know Warwick's tastes well. He sings very loudly in the shower each morning. Not on-key, either.

 **Amelie:** I overplayed that song a lot when it first came out. I still really like it, but I can't help but wonder if Daddy only remembered because he was so annoyed at the overplay.

* * *

"Question four!" Lindsay announced. "Campers! Who was your visitor's first celebrity crush?"

Everyone input their answers, with some hesitation to think, on the campers' parts.

"Does everyone have their answer?" Lindsay asked. "Let's see what everyone said!"

Charles's answer was "Jodie Foster", Gracelyn's answer was "Zac Efron", Hannah's answer was "Harrison Ford", Cassius's answer was "Annasophia Robb", Hawthorne's answer was "Bruce Willis".

Amelie's answer was "Meryl Streep", Genesis's answer was "Zac Efron", Isidora's answer was "Harrison Ford", Vardaman's answer was "Amanda Bynes", Warwick's answer was "Britney Spears".

"Genesis and Isidora both get it right!" Lindsay announced.

"Who knew that one odd conversation we had once would actually come in handy?" Isidora asked her mom.

"As I recall, I was not the only one in that conversation who to this day considers him attractive," Hannah winked.

"Mom!" Isidora blushed.

"You really do keep a lot from me, don't you?" Warwick asked Hawthorne.

"My personal life is none of your business, I'm afraid," Hawthorne said. "Same as the maids."

"Well how come, huh?!" Warwick asked.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that," Hawthorne said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Charles:** Hm, I can't imagine Amelie would even know who Jodie Foster is. Meryl Streep's a good choice, too, though. Both women have aged incredibly well if I do say so myself. ...My wife won't see this, right?

 **Vardaman:** Of course the least talkative member of my family had to be the one I have to answer questions about. It's only for reward, I suppose, but we've only gotten one question right so far. Losing doesn't feel good. _(He begins chewing on a tongue depressor.)_

* * *

"Question five!" Chris announced. "Campers! Who is your visitor's favorite classic Total Drama contestant? 'Classic' applies to Total Drama Island all the way through Pahkitew Island."

After some pondering, everyone input their answers.

"Everyone done?" Chris asked. "Let's see what everyone said, shall we?"

Charles's answer was "Izzy", Gracelyn's answer was "Harold", Hannah's answer was "Gwen", Cassius's answer was "Dawn", Hawthorne's answer was "N/A".

Amelie's answer was "Izzy", Genesis's answer was "Harold", Isidora's answer was "Gwen", "Vardaman's answer was "Dakota", Warwick's answer was "Rodney".

"The girls get it, the boys do not!" Chris announced. "There's a clear divide in point totals here, but the challenge is only half over. Anyone can win this."

"Warwick, for the record, I have never seen an episode of this show in my life," Hawthorne informed his master.

"What?! Why not? It's so good!" Warwick insisted.

"I haven't the time," Hawthorne shrugged.

"Good point," Warwick thought aloud.

"For the record, Gwen was probably my second pick," Cassius told Isidora and Hannah.

"You like the pale outcasts, huh?" Isidora noted with a faint smile.

"I guess so," Cassius said.

Vardaman rolled his eyes.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Charles:** In all my years as a psychiatrist, I've never come across someone like Izzy. She's a fascinating case study. I'd like to get to know her someday.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I don't know if Gracelyn has even seen more than a couple episodes of Total Drama, but I figured Harold would be a safe pick, knowing her.

* * *

"Question six, guys!" Lindsay announced. "Visitors! What is your camper's dream honeymoon location?"

Everyone input their answers.

"Looks like everyone is done!" Lindsay said. "Let's see what everyone said!"

Amelie's answer was "New Zealand", Genesis's answer was "The Bahamas", Isidora's answer was "Florence", Vardaman's answer was "Hawaii", Warwick's answer was "My own country".

Charles's answer was "California", Gracelyn's answer was "Japan", Hannah's answer was "Italy", Cassius's answer was "Hawaii", Hawthorne's answer was "His own country".

"This time the boys get it!" Lindsay announced.

"You don't think we should count Hannah's?" Chris asked. "Florence is in Italy."

"Is it?" Lindsay asked. "In that case, we should count it. Hannah, Cassius, and Hawthorne all got it right!"

"Who would pick Japan for a honeymoon?" Genesis texted.

"I would," Gracelyn pouted.

"I'd like to visit it someday, but not for my honeymoon," Genesis texted. "Not exactly a romantic location."

"I refuse to marry a man who doesn't consider Japan a romantic location," Gracelyn stated.

"Have you decided on a name for your country, yet?" Hawthorne inquired of Warwick.

"I have not," Warwick admitted. "I've had some ideas, but I'm not so sure of them."

"Well, should you win this game, you'll have to hurry up, I'd imagine," Hawthorne said.

"I know! Don't rush me!" Warwick cried.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Cassius:** Vardaman always talks about how he wants to go to Hawaii someday.

 **Isidora:** Italy is a beautiful country. I may be biased due to my heritage, but the architecture, the culture, the food... Oh, I love it all.

* * *

"Question seven!" Chris announced. "Visitors! What is your camper's dream job?"

Everyone input their answers after a bit of thought.

"Everyone done?" Chris asked.

"No, I am not!" Warwick yelped.

"Really? You of all people?" Chris drawled.

"I haven't put much thought into it!" Warwick countered.

Warwick, after a bit more thought, input his answer.

"We good?" Chris asked flatly.

"Yes," Warwick confirmed.

"Alrighty then!" Chris clapped. "Let's see what everyone said!"

Amelie's answer was "Children's Show Writer", Genesis's answer was "Unknown", Isidora's answer was "Music Professor", Vardaman's answer was "Doctor", Warwick's answer was "IDK".

Charles's answer was "She hasn't decided", Gracelyn's answer was "Total Drama winner", Hannah's answer was "Professor", Cassius's answer was "Doctor", Hawthorne's answer was "King".

"I didn't know you'd decided on what you wanted to do," Charles told Amelie. "Good for you."

"Yeah, I don't know, it seems like it could be fun," Amelie admitted. "Something I could feasibly do if nothing else."

"I believe you can do it," Charles smiled.

"'Total Drama winner' is not an occupation," Genesis texted.

"You can retire with a million dollars, right?" Gracelyn asked.

"Not even close," Genesis texted.

"Oh," Gracelyn said

"Considering you're dressed as a merchant, I'd figure you knew a thing or two about money," Genesis texted with a cheeky smirk.

"I know the value of Gold, not Canadian dollars!" Gracelyn objected.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Riiiiiiiiiiight, I want to be a king... I'm not sure you can really make a living doing that. I actually don't know a whole lot about how being a king works... I should probably look into that, actually.

 **Hannah:** Mr. McLean has been quite lenient regarding the differences between my answers and those of my offspring. I shan't bemoan, however, as it has only proven beneficial for us in this challenge.

* * *

"Next question!" Lindsay announced. "Visitors! How many children does your camper want to have?"

A lot of the participants seemed taken aback by this question.

"Are you sure that's appropriate to be asking about minors?" Chris asked.

"I think about how many children I want," Lindsay related. "I want four: first a girl, then a boy, then another boy, and then another girl."

"You're also an adult," Chris pointed out.

"I'm 18," Isidora mentioned.

"Shh!" Chris shushed.

"Sorry," Lindsay said remorsefully.

"I don't mind answering it," Vardaman spoke up.

"I don't want to get in trouble," Chris said. "We'll skip this question. None of you will get a point."

"Doesn't that mean we win?" Isidora inquired.

"What?" Chris asked.

"Isidora is correct," Hannah corroborated. "She and I have a current point total of six, whilst the other four teams all have a point total of three. We just skipped question eight, and, since you yourself previously stated that there would be ten questions, this renders it impossible for the other teams to tie with us, let alone surpass us. Ergo, prolonging this challenge would only be a waste of everyone's time."

"Rude," Chris grimaced. "But, actually, that is correct," Chris said as an intern showed him a clipboard. "Isidora and Hannah win reward!"

"Proof positive that no bond can hope to reach the strength of that between mother and child," Hannah bragged.

Lindsay quietly left the amphitheater.

"Isidora, you and your mother have both won a fancy dinner on our party yacht," Chris said. "But that's not all! You can pick another do to join you guys!"

"Oh!" Isidora resounded. "Um... Cassius and Vardaman."

"Cool," Cassius grinned.

"Um... thanks?" Vardaman said skeptically.

"But that's not all!" Chris continued. "Hannah, you can pick yet a third duo to accompany you."

"Warwick and Hawthorne," Hannah said.

"My thanks," Hawthorne said as he put his hand on his heart and gave a small bow.

"Yeah, thanks..." Warwick said.

"Meaning that Charles and Gracelyn, this is it for you," Chris said. "Say your goodbyes now."

"Sorry we didn't win, pumpkin," Charles told Amelie.

"That's alright," Amelie said warmly. "We can see each other when I get home."

"I look forward to it," Charles smiled back.

The two shared an embrace.

"Sorry our first real life meeting was cut so short," Gracelyn told Genesis.

"Getting to meet you in person at all is still pretty great," Genesis texted. "Besides, we'll always be best friends."

"You know it," Gracelyn said with a wink as she put her finger on her chin.

"Alright, Charles, Gracelyn, if you two will just follow Lindsay..." Chris looked around for Lindsay. "Where'd she go?"

"I noticed her take her leave a couple minutes ago," Hawthorne mentioned.

"Give me a break..." Chris muttered. "Alright, the six of you who are going on the reward, just sit tight. Charles and Gracelyn, follow me. Amelie and Genesis, you're dismissed."

Chris led Charles and Gracelyn away as Amelie and Genesis left, waving goodbye to their loved ones.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** It was nice seeing my daddy after so long. He's really a good man who's just been looking out for me. I see that now.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Gracelyn can be kind of... eccentric, sometimes, and there is a good reason for that, but she's a good person and a good friend.

* * *

"Okay, that's done," Chris said as he returned to the amphitheater. "Alright... Isidora and Hannah, Vardaman and Cassius, Warwick and Hawthorne, you six are about to go on a sweet reward. Get hyped!"

"I can't contain my excitement," Isidora said dryly. Cassius chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Ain't sure why Isidora chose me over Warwick. Maybe she's just trying to get me off her back, which ain't happening unless she gets off mine. Either way, it's suspicious, especially after how upset she was with me before.

 **Warwick:** Isidora didn't pick me for the reward? I'm hurt! Verily, I am! Am I not her closest, most trusted ally? Am I not the one she plans to go to the finale with?! She'd better have a good explanation for this.

 **Isidora:** Why pick Vardaman over Warwick? Well, for one, I didn't want to lead Warwick on any further. Didn't want him thinking this was a date or anything like that. For two, it wouldn't hurt to strengthen my relationship with the others. As for why I chose Vardaman, for one, he's the one I'm least close to, and for two, picking Genesis or Amelie would cause the other to be suspicious that I'm not taking them to the finale. It was a calculated decision. Or at least as calculated as it could be when it's so spur-of-the-moment. But I think I made the right decision.

* * *

The six people who went on the reward, who had all changed into formal attire, ate their fancy dinner on the party boat.

"It's nice to be able to eat a lovely meal that wasn't prepared by myself or my colleagues," Hawthorne chatted.

"This is my third time on this boat," Vardaman responded. "Food's been amazing every time. My compliments to the chef."

"Third time?" Isidora asked. "How?"

"All of the Italics got to go on it for one reward," Vardaman recalled. "Well, except Bijou, I guess. Then I won a dinner date with Lindsay from the auction. And now this."

"A toast!" Hannah proposed as she held her champagne glass in the air. "To Total Drama, to wonderful cuisine, and to camaraderie in the face of conflict!"

"I'll drink to that," Cassius smirked.

"I wish we got real champagne," Warwick whined as he drank his sparkling cider.

"Master, the last thing you need right now is alcohol in your system," Hawthorne remarked.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Hannah:** The dinner surpassed my expectations. Whoever is in charge of such affairs should consider turning this dining boat into a full-time restaurant.

 **Cassius:** Never ate anything so fancy before. Took some getting used to, but I enjoyed it.

 **Hawthorne:** I never... I never get to have alcohol HIC! So... er... this was a... a special opportunity for me... _(His face turns green, and he quickly gets off the seat to hurl into the toilet.)_

* * *

After a while, a number of people had finished their meals and had left to explore the boat further. This left Hannah and Vardaman alone in the dining hall.

"Hope Isidora didn't say anything bad about me to you," Vardaman joked.

"What my daughter and I speak about when we are alone is our business and nobody else's," Hannah said matter-of-factly.

"That ain't a good sign," Vardaman figured.

"That said, I can't imagine she'd choose you above the others to join us on this reward if she didn't hold some manner of respect for you," Hannah continued. "What's your opinion of Isidora, if I may be so bold as to ask?"

"I don't dislike her, but the game's been getting to her head, and she's deadset on getting rid of me as soon as she can," Vardaman explained. "We were allies throughout most of the merge, then one morning she comes up to me and tells me that I'm next to go as soon as I'm not Invincible. It was real jarring, you know?"

"That sounds like something she'd be prone to doing," Hannah nodded. "Her mind moves very quickly, so she's prone to working things out in her head faster than she'd be able to fill anyone in on them. She likely went through the entire process that led towards making this decision over the course of an afternoon, and, once she decided it was the logical conclusion, she must have subconsciously figured that everyone else would see it as such."

"I get _why_ she wants me gone, but it's made things awkward between us," Vardaman responded. "I made a move against her last night, and she confronted me about it, real angry-like as if I was the bad guy for trying to save myself."

"While I don't have all the information regarding this situation, I find it hard to imagine that someone as cordial as yourself would do anything to save yourself that might put you in the wrong," Hannah stated. "However, I must take Isidora's side in this conflict."

"I'd be shocked if you didn't, ma'am," Vardaman chuckled.

"You aspire to be a doctor, correct?" Hannah inquired.

"That's right," Vardaman confirmed.

"Then you of all people should know how much of her life is affected by her condition," Hannah continued.

"The symptoms certainly ain't pretty," Vardaman commented.

"And yet she chose to partake in this competition despite those symptoms," Hannah continued. "Because she loves this game, and would love nothing more in this world than to emerge victoriously. There aren't many competitions in which she could claim to do such a thing, so this is an incredibly special opportunity for her."

"I see..." Vardaman said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Was Hannah trying to guilt me into laying down and letting Isidora beat me? Because that ain't happening. I have a good reason to win this game, too. So does Warwick. So did Mondo. So did Dalit. So did many others, I imagine. Hannah's a nice lady, and Isidora ain't a bad person, but right now, I need to look out for myself.

* * *

Warwick entered the restroom to find Hawthorne doubled over one of the toilets.

"Ah, Hawthorne," Warwick said. "Had a bit too much to drink, have we?"

"Your mother..." Hawthorne panted.

"Hey!" Warwick objected.

Hawthorne held his index finger up. "Your mother... never lets the help drink. She wants us at full mental capacity at all times.

"Taking full advantage of the opportunity, eh?" Warwick chuckled. "Come. Let's take a walk."

Warwick helped Hawthorne back onto his feet and led him out of the restroom. The two walked through the hallway.

"So!" Hawthorne suddenly spoke up. "How do you forget that you want to be a king?"

"Right, that..." Warwick said. He sighed. "As I wrote down 'my own country' as my dream honeymoon location, it really got me thinking. This whole 'wanting to be king' thing. I don't think I wanted to be a king so I could lead a country or get involved in politics or anything. I just wanted the respect that comes with being a king."

"Couldn't have guessed," Hawthorne remarked.

"Basically, I didn't want power, I just wanted people to like me," Warwick explained. "And, over the course of this game, I've come to realize that you can't force people to respect you. Respect has to be earned. So I'm done trying to become king. Just as I'd thought of a good name for my country, too. Kwicraw! It's an anagram of my own name and it sounds cool!"

"...Might be for the best that you no longer wish to be king," Hawthorne mumbled.

"Anyway, I have decided to start on the path of earning respect," Warwick declared. "Starting tomorrow, I will exercise daily and pay more attention to what I eat. I've never liked being as chubby as I am, so I'm going to fix it! Maybe losing some weight will help with my self-confidence, you know?"

"Will you stop dressing like such a glimmerous fop?" Hawthorne drawled.

"...In public... after the game," Warwick said. "These kingly garbs were expensive!"

"You paid for them with your mother's money," Hawthorne pointed out.

"And has she even noticed?" Warwick asked.

"Point," Hawthorne conceded.

"I'm keeping the mustache, too, by the way," Warwick insisted.

"We'll see how you look with it when you're skinny," Hawthorne said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Heh, Hawthorne's a lot more honest when he's drunk. That or he doesn't have to worry about my mom firing him while he's out here. Either way, I meant what I said! Soon I shall begin the journey for a new me! A new, respectable Warwick!

* * *

Isidora leaned over the railings on the bow of the boat, looking at the moon and stars. Cassius approached her.

"Mind if I join you?" Cassius asked.

"Oh, no, not at all," Isidora said, taken aback a bit.

Cassius leaned over the railings beside Isidora.

"Nice view," Cassius pointed out.

"Yeah, the moon's really pretty tonight, isn't it?" Isidora agreed.

"Wasn't talking about the moon," Cassius smirked.

"Then what where y- ...Oh!" Isidora realized. Her face turned bright red. "That's... awfully bold of you to say."

"Didn't mean to offend," Cassius apologized.

"No, no, I'm not offended," Isidora assured him. "I'm just... you know, not used to those kinds of compliments."

"Couldn't imagine why not," Cassius said.

"Because I'm standoffish and don't like talking to people?" Isidora guessed.

"And yet you're talking to me," Cassius said.

"I mean..." Isidora composed herself. "You seem pretty quiet too. Kindred spirits, or something."

"How's the game been for you so far?" Cassius inquired.

"Hard as hell," Isidora said.

"You're anemic, ain't you?" Cassius asked.

"Yeah, did Vardaman tell you?" Isidora asked.

"Yep," Cassius confirmed. "Gotta say, I'm impressed you've been able to do so well despite that. That ain't condescending to say, is it?"

"A little bit," Isidora said.

"Sorry," Cassius apologized.

"So, you'll know all about me by the time this season comes out on TV," Isidora said. "Tell me about yourself."

"Oh!" Cassius's face turned a faint pink. "I mostly do farm work on the family farm. Mainly handle the animals."

"Any hobbies?" Isidora asked.

"I like to read stories sometimes," Cassius shrugged. "Always found books more interesting than TV or movies."

"You can do so much more with books," Isidora agreed. "With books, the only limit is your imagination."

"Exactly," Cassius nodded. "Don't gotta worry about what'll sell or being forced to keep making more or not being able to continue or any of that. More convenient, really."

"Besides, you can read books anywhere," Isidora continued. "Movies and TV are really hard to watch on the go."

"You can't watch them on the go," Cassius said.

"You really don't have smartphones or tablets, do you?" Isidora asked.

"We have a computer," Cassius said. "No need for any of the fancy portable stuff when we don't usually leave the town anyway."

"So... do you have social media?" Isidora asked.

"I have a Facebook I never use," Cassius said. "Might make an exception for you, though."

Isidora giggled. "I'd like that."

Unbeknownst to the both of them, Warwick and Hawthorne had walked to the bow of the boat, a distance away from Isidora and Cassius. Warwick led Hawthorne away from the scene.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I got to see my mom, got to win an individual challenge... sort of... got to eat a fancy dinner, and I got to meet a cute guy who doesn't think I'm cold or boring. All in all, a pretty good evening for Isidora. Did I just refer to myself in the third person? Ah, who cares? I'm happy.

* * *

Chris stood alone on the Dock of Shame.

"Nobody went home tonight, which is a shame," Chris said. "But I'm sure someone out there might have some use for this episode."

Chris paused and looked to the island.

"Where is she?" Chris asked unfocusedly. "Guess I'll close this myself. So..." Chris cleared his throat. "From now on, there will be no free passes outside of Invincibility itself! It's coming down to the wire, and the time to crown a winner is almost upon us. But anything can happen in the span of three episodes! What kind of things? You'll just have to find out, on Total!"

Chris paused.

"Er, right," Chris muttered. "Drama! Alpha Party!"

* * *

 **Votes:**

None

* * *

 _A/N: So, remember a long-ass time ago when I said that, since I didn't originally have Fauna quit and she would have gone home in her own episode, I had to make an extra non-elimination episode to make up for it and upkeep the twenty-six episode thing? Well, this is that episode. I felt that, since House Party's loved ones episode was also non-elim, this was as good a place as any to have one. Besides, an episode where the contestants got to de-stress a little and interact with people other than each other was fun to write. I hope you all agree. If not, the carnage will continue in the next episode._


	25. Ep 24: I Like To Ride My Bicycle

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

Chris looked to his right, then to his shoes, then back to the camera.

"Er, in the last episode, I decided to be nice and give the campers a non-elimination round," Chris continued. "On top of that, the final five each got a special visitor to participate in the challenge with them, with a reward on the line for a fancy dinner cruise with said visitors. Amelie and Genesis formed a lategame alliance with intent to take power from Isidora. Isidora and Warwick are starting to get over the awkwardness of the one-sided romantic feelings between each other. And Vardaman's just doing what he can to stay alive in the game. Isidora and her mother Hannah won the challenge, by the way, and opted to bring Vardaman and his brother Cassius and Warwick and his butler Hawthorne on the reward with them. Vardaman and Hannah discussed their respective relationships with Isidora, Warwick and Hawthorne discussed self-growth, and Isidora and Cassius flirted a lot. Like I said, nobody went home that night, but tonight will be a different story. Who's it going to be? Find out, right here, on Total! Drama! Alpha Party!"

* * *

Amelie built a sand castle on her own when Isidora approached her.

"Hey," Isidora greeted. "You don't seem to be in a swimsuit, so I hope I don't have to be to talk to you this time."

"No, it's fine," Amelie giggled. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to touch base with you," Isidora said. "You're still in my ideal final three, and I just wanted to be sure you're still good with our final three deal."

"Well..." Amelie trailed off. "I don't know. Of course, I want to be in the final three, especially if that really is the finale like everyone is saying, but..."

"But?" Isidora asked with a raised eyebrow. "Is this about me voting out Stormy~?"

"Kind of," Amelie admitted. "You told me and Stormy~ to our faces that it was Genesis going home, and then I find out you had no intention of actually following through with it... How do I know you're going to follow through with this?"

"Because taking Genesis or Vardaman to the end would basically be sacrificing my game," Isidora explained, perturbed. "Vardaman is obvious, and Genesis, even though she's no star athlete, is at the very least taller than the rest of us, which means longer legs, plus, let's face it, you, Warwick, and I are all pretty bad at challenges. The only people we'd stand any chance against is each other."

"That's true..." Amelie conceded.

"So are you in or not?" Isidora asked.

"Um... maybe?" Amelie stammered.

"I see," Isidora said. "I guess I could always ask Genesis for a final three deal. Sure, she'll be harder to beat, but at least she'd be willing to do it."

"I'll do it!" Amelie pleaded.

"It's the smart game move, Amelie," Isidora explained. "You're just going to have to trust me on this."

"I guess..." Amelie muttered.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** Amelie is too honest for her own good. I know she isn't - or at the very least, wasn't - planning on sticking with me. I can't imagine why. I'm the easy one to beat in the finale. I understand being upset at me for voting out her ally, but is it really worth risking your game by taking Genesis or Vardaman to the end just to get closure on a petty grudge?

 **Amelie:** Isidora does make a lot of good points, but I can't ignore what she did to Stormy~. I don't think Isidora is a bad person, but backstabbing Stormy~, and me by extension, wasn't a very nice thing to do. At least I have all day to think about it.

* * *

As Vardaman entered the mess hall, he noticed Warwick with a plate of egg whites.

"Morning, Warwick," Vardaman greeted with a tip of his hat. "Are those egg whites?"

"Verily!" Warwick confirmed. "As of last night, I am dedicating myself to losing weight!"

"Well how about that? Good for you," Vardaman smiled.

"Say, any advice on exercise?" Warwick requested. "You're in great shape. How'd you get that way?"

"To be honest, I ended up like this naturally," Vardaman admitted as he rubbed the back of his head. "All the work at the farm and the metal shop are my workouts, plus I eat from the farm, too, so just about everything I eat is healthy and organic."

"So you're saying I should become a farmer?" Warwick asked. "The exact opposite of a king... hmmm..."

"I ain't saying that," Vardaman chuckled. "Sorry I can't be of much help. If you want to know how to exercise, I wager Ephraim, Mondo, or Tori would be better suited to answering that than I am."

"I'll just go right ahead and ask them then!" Warwick responded sarcastically.

"After the game, I'm sure you could," Vardaman shrugged.

"Perhaps," Warwick figured. "Never really got to know any of them. All the strong people really were on your team."

"And yet the Boldface outnumber us three to two right now," Vardaman realized. "Good thing we ain't going by team lines, huh?"

"It'd be a good thing for me," Warwick smirked. "Then again, the Boldface were always kind of a mess. Working together just couldn't have happened."

"Hugh and Jasper didn't make life on the Italics easy, either, let me tell you," Vardaman chimed in.

"And don't even get me started on Xingrong!" Warwick continued.

"I'd forgotten about him," Vardaman chuckled.

"Oh, that I could be so lucky!" Warwick cried.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Losing weight or not, I guess he's still the same old Warwick. It can be easy to let the game cloud your judgment of others sometimes. I know Warwick's going to vote me out as soon as I'm vulnerable. But I think we can still be friends despite that. Funny how that works out.

 **Warwick:** I must admit, it does my heart good knowing that Xingrong was able to go home so early, and yet I could last this long! I wonder what the old sod is up to. Still going on about sandwiches and dark angels and such? I bet he is.

* * *

Genesis sat on her bed in the girls' cabin, fiddling with her phone, when Isidora entered.

"Ah, Genesis. Here you are," Isidora greeted.

Genesis smirked as she opened her text-to-speech app. "Well look who's come crawling back."

"Excuse me?" Isidora asked.

"You throw me under the bus, probably saying all kinds of nasty things about me to get Amelie and Stormy~ to see me as a viable target, and now you're looking for me, presumably to talk game," Genesis texted.

"Excuse you. I don't need that smug attitude of yours," Isidora grimaced.

"Am I wrong?" Genesis texted.

"Yes, I threw you under the bus, and yes, I want to talk game with you," Isidora conceded. "That doesn't mean we can't still talk game. Believe it or not, I do want to take you to the final three."

"I'm sure you've told Amelie the same thing," Genesis texted.

"I cut my ties with Amelie when I voted for Stormy~," Isidora responded. "Besides, it's not like you haven't played multiple sides before. Who are you to act like this to me?"

"I'm the girl whose game you put in danger," Genesis texted.

"You were able to work it out with Ursula, weren't you?" Isidora asked. "See, you're becoming the Ursula in this situation."

"Is that a threat?" Genesis texted with a leer.

"What? No!" Isidora clarified. "It's me pointing out the outrageous hypocrisy on your part."

"I had reasons to vote for Osric," Genesis texted. "By the way, I voted for Osric, not Ursula. Crucial difference."

"And Osric went home. You didn't. Crucial difference," Isidora retorted.

"Get out of my sight," Genesis texted.

"Somehow that doesn't sound as threatening with the monotone of text-to-speech," Isidora scowled as she left the cabin.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** Genesis legitimately cannot comprehend being in the wrong here, can she? She honestly believes she is an entirely blameless victim, and that I'm the big bad guy trying to ruin her game. Give me a break. ...Oh God, am I going to have to rely on Vardaman to maintain a majority? After everything that's happened over the past couple days?

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ See, the thing is, I don't need Isidora. I already have a nice majority with Amelie and Vardaman. Isidora is a snake in the grass, and there's only room for one snake in this particular field. If I can get rid of Isidora, I'll have all the power in this game, not her.

* * *

Amelie sat on the Dock of Shame, idly skipping stones across the water when Vardaman sat next to her.

"Morning," Vardaman greeted.

"Morning, Vardaman," Amelie smiled back. "What's up?"

"Has Genesis talked to you about her plans?" Vardaman asked.

"Yep," Amelie confirmed. "She wants the three of us to take out Isidora."

"Glad we're all on the same page, here," Vardaman said with a sigh of relief. "Er... you are onboard with voting her out, right?"

"I honestly don't trust her to keep me around if you win today's challenge," Amelie admitted. "She made her loyalties to me clear when she voted for Stormy~ the other night."

"Didn't you vote for her that night?" Vardaman asked.

"I did," Amelie confirmed. "She'd gotten under my skin a lot that day."

"She did seem to be in a bad mood that day," Vardaman nodded.

"Oh! Before I forget to tell someone and it ends in some huge misunderstanding," Amelie said. "I told Isidora I'd vote with her tonight, but... I don't really plan to. I lied to her and I feel kind of awful about it."

"She's still after me, I wager?" Vardaman inquired.

Amelie nodded.

"Well, I guess I'll just have to make sure she can't," Vardaman chuckled.

"You should be safe either way," Amelie pointed out. "Assuming Genesis holds up her end, and I don't see why she wouldn't since this alliance was her idea in the first place."

"Genesis did backstab Tori. That can't be ignored," Vardaman recalled.

"I'm willing to trust her," Amelie said. "I don't think she has any reason to lie to us."

"She could be playing both sides," Vardaman suggested.

"After Isidora got a huge target on her back for doing that?" Amelie asked.

"Never thought I'd be the skeptical one between us," Vardaman chuckled. "But this late in the game, with as big of a target as I am, can you blame me?"

"Not at all, honestly," Amelie assured him. "I'm just trying to be more trusting of people, you know?"

"You're a good person, Amelie," Vardaman said.

Amelie's giggled as her face turned pink.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Call me paranoid, but I find it weird that Genesis wants to side with me when siding with Isidora and Warwick could still get her to the finale, and they'd both be easier to beat. I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth since she's the only one who really wants to include me in her plans right now, but it still strikes me as peculiar.

 **Amelie:** I think Genesis and I have a silent agreement, er, so to speak, to take each other to the finale. We both wanted to align with each other, and I think we stand a similar chance at winning the final challenge. I'm actually feeling fairly optimistic about the whole thing.

* * *

Warwick sat atop the thousand-foot cliff when Genesis approached him.

"Good morning, Warwick," Genesis texted.

"Ah, Genesis!" Warwick greeted back. "What brings you to my domain."

"Just felt like conversing," Genesis texted. "How are things with you and Isidora?"

"People always ask how things are with me and Isidora," Warwick said as he shook his head. "No one ever wonders how I'm doing unless it's in relation to my friendship with her. It gets old."

"Alright. Tell me how you're doing in a way which completely excludes Isidora," Genesis texted as she rolled her eyes a little.

"I'm contemplating what manner of exercise I should do today," Warwick explained. "I'm considering running laps around the island. I remember that football player from the Italics used to do that every day. But I'm honestly not sure I can get a lap in before the challenge starts."

"Well, the more you run, the easier it gets," Genesis texted.

"Perhaps," Warwick figured.

"Also, wait, exercise?" Genesis texted.

"Indeed!" Warwick confirmed. "I've decided to start losing weight."

"How come?" Genesis texted. "To impress Isidora?"

"On the contrary!" Warwick refuted. "This is but the first step on my path to getting over her. I've decided to stop focusing on her, and start focusing on me. Improve myself. Make myself respectable rather than trying to force people to respect me!"

"I see," Genesis texted. "Actually, as it happens, there is a push against Isidora right now. Don't suppose you'd be willing to vote for her?"

"Over Vardaman?" Warwick scoffed. "Letting him stay would be dumb. He'd destroy us all if he made it to the finale."

"Okay, fine," Genesis texted with a slight twitch in her eye. "Will you vote for her if Vardaman is Invincible tonight?"

"I shall consider it!" Warwick declared.

"Glad to hear it," Genesis texted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Of course, I run the risk of Warwick telling Isidora. I know they're still friends. But I could use the safety net, just in case. Amelie's really flaky, and if Vardaman is Invincible, then he doesn't have any reason to vote alongside me anymore. A good majority is hard to maintain in the final five, and I want to cover all my bases.

 **Warwick:** I am trying to get over Isidora... could the best way to get her out of my mind be to vote her out? That doesn't seem fair to her. Especially since she plans on taking me to the final three. I didn't hear Genesis giving me any kind of final three promise, I can tell you that much! I'll leave my vote undecided until I know who's Invincible and who the targets are!

* * *

In the staff building, Chris approached a door which had a small placard that read "Lindsay" on it. He knocked on the door.

"Lindsay? You in here?" Chris asked.

No answer.

Chris took a set of keys from his pocket and unlocked the door to see Lindsay in her pajamas, facedown on her bed, with three empty pints of ice cream on the floor surrounding her bed.

"Lindsay?" Chris asked.

"GAHHHHHH!" Lindsay jumped. "How'd you get in here?!"

"I'm the host," Chris said as he showed her his keys. "I have to be able to access places."

As Chris got a better look at Lindsay's face, he noticed her makeup was smeared and runny.

"What's with you?" Chris asked.

"I'm an awful assistant," Lindsay choked.

"Where did this come from?" Chris asked, confused.

"I ruined the challenge yesterday!" Lindsay sobbed. "My question had to be skipped, which meant that the other questions didn't even matter!"

"Hey, look, nobody could have seen that coming," Chris said. "That's just one of those things that happen sometimes, you know?"

"It's not just that," Lindsay continued. "I ruined that fencing challenge a while back. And I heard some of the interns say once that my scores for the talent show were totally stupid. I thought helping you host would be fun, but all it's done is show how completely useless and stupid I am!"

By now Lindsay was bawling. She covered her face with her hands.

"Hey, that's... uh... not true," Chris suggested.

"You never liked having me around," Lindsay sniveled. "You would always complain about having me around and shocking you."

"Which you've been doing a lot less. I appreciate that," Chris told her.

Lindsay wiped her eyes.

"Look, hosting isn't as easy as I make it look. You know that from experience," Chris said. "In seasons past, I've been able to depend on Chef. Or so I thought. Seriously, where does he get off kidnapping me? ...Anyway, the point is, I can't do this alone. Everyone makes mistakes, especially during their first time hosting. So, even if you mess up sometimes, I can't do this without you."

"...Really?" Lindsay asked as she rubbed her eye again.

"Tell you what," Chris said. "Why don't you decide what the next two challenges are? Not the finale challenge, because we've been putting that one together for a while, but you can choose what the rest of the challenges besides that are."

"You sure?" Lindsay asked. "What if my challenge ideas don't work?"

"I can help you work out the kinks if you want," Chris offered.

"...When did you become so nice?" Lindsay smiled.

"What can I say? This season brainwashed me," Chris said as he scratched at his shock collar.

Lindsay went over to her sock drawer and fished a key out of it. She walked up to Chris, inserted the key into a small hole in his shock collar, and turned it. The collar unlatched itself from Chris's neck and fell to the floor.

"You could have done that this whole time?" Chris asked.

"Only when I decided that you no longer needed it," Lindsay recited. "Those were my instructions."

"Almost feels kind of weird not having it on," Chris remarked.

"I could put it back on," Lindsay genuinely offered.

"I'm good! I'm good," Chris assured her.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Lindsay:** Chris is right! The season must go on, and he can't do it without my help! Now, what kind of challenges should the campers do...?

* * *

Chris, Lindsay, and the campers all met up in the campground.

"Good afternoon, guys!" Lindsay greeted.

"You seem to be in a particularly good mood today," Vardaman noted.

"That's because I got to decide the challenge!" Lindsay said chipperly.

"That's a relief," Amelie said under her breath.

"Today's challenge is one I'm very familiar with," Lindsay said. "Follow me to the arts and crafts center!"

The campers all looked at each other in confusion before following Lindsay and Chris.

Before long, everyone had arrived at the arts and crafts center.

"Today's challenge is easy," Lindsay said. "First, you have to build a bicycle out of whatever you can find in here."

"Oh boy," Isidora said flatly.

"You guys will have until 5 to get that done," Chris told the campers. "When your time is up, I'll sound the alarm over the PA system. Then meet Lindsay and me at the beach for part two of your challenge."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** This might not be so bad. I know how to ride a bike. Building one might be difficult, but it's a challenge for a reason, right?

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ They've been particularly lazy with challenges this season, haven't they? So many of them were ripped from previous seasons. How unoriginal.

 **Isidora:** I'm going to _need_ all that time to get ready for this challenge. See, here's the thing... I don't know how to ride a bike. Never thought I'd need to know how. But desperate times call for desperate measures, and right now, I'm honestly not sure I have the majority anymore.

 **Vardaman:** This challenge couldn't be more perfect for me. I work in a metal shop back home, so I reckon I could make myself a bike. I know I can ride one. Thanks in advance to Lindsay for the Invincibility I desperately need. ...Was that cocky? I feel like that was cocky.

 **Warwick:** Bicycles? Fixing things isn't my job around the house. Actually, I don't have any job around the house. That's what Hawthorne, Julianne, and Karina are for. ...Geez, I really am spoiled, aren't I?

* * *

The campers entered the arts and crafts building to find an assortment of various parts one could use to build a bicycle.

"So... does anyone know how to build a bike?" Isidora asked.

"I do," Vardaman smiled.

"Awesome," Isidora drawled.

"Looks like there's an instruction book," Amelie said as she walked up to a table and picked up a bike manual. She flipped through the pages. "It doesn't say _how_ to build a bike, but it looks like it tells you about all the parts. I think we can figure out what to do using this."

"Only one of us will be able to use it at a time," Genesis texted.

Vardaman had already begun looking through the parts and setting aside the ones he wanted to use.

"We can take turns," Amelie suggested. "The cutoff for building our bikes isn't for another several hours."

"No doubt so Chris and Lindsay can enjoy even more downtime today," Warwick added.

"How will we decide who goes first?" Genesis texted.

"I was going to suggest we do it alphabetically, but..." Amelie trailed off.

"I'm fine with that," Isidora shrugged.

"As am I!" Warwick agreed.

Genesis nodded.

"Oh! Thanks," Amelie smiled.

Vardaman exited the building with his arms full of various parts.

"I'd better hurry up," Amelie realized as she rapidly flipped through the book's pages.

"What happened to 'we have several hours'?" Genesis texted.

"So, like..." Warwick said to no one in particular. "Should I just go do something else?"

"Might as well," Isidora shrugged as she left the center. Genesis and Warwick followed suit.

* * *

After Amelie finished reading the book, she found Genesis and gave the book to her to read, before returning to the arts and crafts center to begin work on her bike. By now, Vardaman had already made substantial progress on his bike. Genesis studied the book until she was finished before giving it to Isidora. Genesis returned to the arts and crafts center to begin her bike. Vardaman had finished his bike by now, while Amelie made slow progress. Isidora made quick work of the book and gave it to Warwick in little time. By this point, both Amelie and Genesis were about halfway done building their bikes. Once Warwick had finished the book and returned to the arts and crafts center, Amelie and Genesis had finished their bikes, and Isidora neared completion of hers.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I hope the bike I built can support my weight. This is my first time building one, so I have no idea how well I did. ...Maybe I should have practiced riding it.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I used to ride my bike all the time when I was a kid. My parents really limited my time on the computer and video games because they didn't want me to be a complete shut in. Now that I have my phone, though, I don't ride it as much. I don't like not holding my phone.

 **Isidora:** Alright, I got enough practice in that I think I can at least finish the race. Normally I wouldn't be trying this hard, but I know I'm a target, and Invincibility would be a huge load off my mind.

 **Vardaman:** You know, I can't help but feel a little disconnected from the others these days. In the back of my mind, I feel like they just see me as an obstacle to overcome instead of a person. I know Amelie and Genesis are aligned with me, but how much can I trust them? _(He chews on a tongue depressor.)_ Just a few more rounds. I can do this.

 **Warwick:** For my first time building a bike, I'd say I did a pretty darn good job! Now let's see if I can win my first bike race!

* * *

The five campers, with their bikes ready, all stood next to each other behind a line drawn in the sand at the beach. Chris and Lindsay stood off to the side of them.

"Alright, this is really simple," Chris said.

"Just one lap around the beach," Lindsay explained. "First person to make it all the way around and cross this line again wins!"

"I can't imagine there are any questions, but I've given you guys too much credit in the past," Chris said. "So, any questions?"

"Any obstacles to worry about?" Amelie asked.

"I'll leave that for you to discover," Chris grinned.

"That's code for 'yes'," Isidora told Amelie.

"On your marks!" Lindsay announced as Chris held a starter pistol in the air.

"Get set..." Chris continued.

The campers got on their bikes, ready to go.

"GO!" Chris and Lindsay shouted in unison as Chris fired the pistol.

The campers took off. As they did so, a seagull which had been flying above landed upon Warwick after being hit by the bullet Chris had fired, knocking the larger boy to the ground.

* * *

Amelie, Genesis, and Vardaman didn't take long to get a good start going. Isidora, meanwhile, struggled to maintain her balance.

"This challenge does not like us," Warwick grumbled to Isidora as he grabbed the seagull's body and tossed it aside.

Isidora mumbled something in response.

"What?" Warwick asked. "Eh, you can tell me later. I have a challenge to win!"

Warwick got back onto his bike and took off.

Isidora dropped her bike into the sand, sat down onto the sand, and buried her face in her hands.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I can't do this challenge. I tried practicing riding a bike, but they wouldn't let us on the beach before the challenge started, so I only practiced on solid ground, not sand, and even then I didn't do that well. God, I hope Vardaman loses this one.

* * *

Vardaman maintained a slight lead over Genesis, who maintained a slight lead over Amelie.

"You girls think you can catch up?" Vardaman teased as he looked back at the girls.

Genesis gave him a determined look.

"Um, maybe?" Amelie figured.

Just as Vardaman turned his head back to face the path ahead, he found himself riding straight into the ocean.

"I changed my mind. I can definitely catch up," Amelie added as she and Genesis passed Vardaman.

"I deserved that," Vardaman told himself as he got back on the path. Warwick had just begun to pass him.

* * *

Genesis and Amelie had widened the gap between themselves and Vardaman.

"I think I can do this," Amelie said to herself.

Genesis paid focus to the path ahead of her.

The two noticed a large ramp which took up the entire width of the beach approaching.

"Uh oh..." Amelie gulped.

Genesis sped up her pedaling as she approached the ramp. As she launched off of the ramp, her bike tilted forward, causing her to wipe out into the sand below. Amelie took notice of this, and, as she came off of the ramp, stopped pedaling in midair. She landed on the wheels of her bike and continued biking.

As Genesis recovered from her wipeout, Vardaman and Warwick passed her.

"Yes! Not in last!" Warwick cheered.

"What about Isidora?" Vardaman asked.

"Oh... right," Warwick recalled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Isidora gives up too easily on physical challenges. That's a flaw of hers. ...This "getting over her" thing is starting to work out, I dare say!

* * *

"Guh... why are you so fast?!" Warwick called out to Vardaman.

"I ain't falling for that again," Vardaman muttered. "Eyes on the path, Vardaman."

Genesis caught up to Warwick. She looked him in the eye, smirked, and passed him.

"Oh come on!" Warwick cried.

* * *

Back at the starting line, Chris had left to use the restroom, leaving Lindsay alone with Isidora.

"Aren't you going to try?" Lindsay asked.

"I can hardly ride a bike, and even if I could, I'd probably just get a dizzy spell at the worst possible time," Isidora explained.

"So you're giving up, just like that?" Lindsay asked.

"It's not giving up, it's picking my battles wisely," Isidora insisted. "I want to conserve as much energy as possible for the final challenge."

"What if you don't make it to the final challenge?" Lindsay asked.

"The others would be foolish not to take me... right?" Isidora responded.

"I don't think I'm allowed to talk about this kind of thing with you," Lindsay admitted.

"I guess," Isidora said. "So, you seem awfully active in cohosting this round. And Chris's shock collar is off. Did I miss something?"

"I'm not sure I'm allowed to talk about that with you either," Lindsay admitted.

"Back," Chris said as he arrived. He took notice of Isidora and turned to Lindsay. "She didn't win, did she?"

Lindsay shook her head.

"Just making sure," Chris said.

"You give me too much credit," Isidora said with a hollow laugh.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I've been in kind of a weird mood recently. I think the fact that we're so close to the end is getting to me. There's a ton on the line right now, and I don't want everything to be for nothing. And with Amelie and Genesis honestly considering voting me off... _(She sighs.)_ I don't know.

* * *

The four racers were all very close to each other as they approached the halfway point of the race. Square pillars raised and lowered themselves from the sand ahead of the campers in timed intervals.

"Aw geez," Vardaman said as he grit his teeth.

Vardaman swerved to his right to avoid an oncoming pillar, only to crash into Amelie, who had swerved to her left to avoid a different pillar. The two fell over, leaving Genesis and Warwick to pass them.

"Hahaha! Victory is mi- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Warwick boasted before biking over a rising pillar, launching him into the air.

Genesis moved slowly through the pillars, keeping an eye on where they would rise and fall. Vardaman biked right past her. Genesis leered at him.

"I'm okay, by the way, since you asked!" Warwick called as the two passed him; he had been recovering from being launched by the pillar.

"That's good," Amelie commented as she passed him.

Warwick shot Amelie an annoyed, deadpan look as he got back onto his bike and continued the race.

* * *

The campers approached a part of the track which was peppered with trap holes.

"Don't fall in!" Warwick called to the others.

"Wouldn't it be better for you if we did?" Amelie asked.

"I was trying to be patronizing!" Warwick clarified.

"That's not very respectable," Vardaman pointed out.

"Neither is falling in a hole!" Warwick smirked.

"No, but-" Vardaman's sentence was cut short as he fell into one of the trap holes.

As Amelie watched Vardaman fall into the hole, wincing, she fell into a hole of her own. Warwick passed the two as they made their climbs out of their respective holes.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Not being able to talk means I can stay focused on the race itself. Honestly, you'd think the ones who can talk would still know better, but evidently, that's not the case.

* * *

Genesis and Warwick had passed Amelie and Vardaman by a lot and had now made their way up to an oil slick which covered the width of the beach and stretched out to cover a good portion of the path ahead.

"That can't be good for the ocean!" Warwick commented.

Genesis slowed her pedaling down as she made her way onto the slick. Warwick, noticing this, followed suit.

Vardaman and Amelie began to catch up and approached the oil slick without slowing down. As Vardaman's tires hit the oil slick, he quickly slid out of control. His bike went straight for the rock wall directly to the right which separated the beach from the island. He jumped off his bike just in time to avoid crashing along with it. As the bike made contact with the wall, it broke into several pieces.

"Well..." Vardaman winced as he picked up two of the pieces. "That ain't good."

Genesis had turned her head to witness the crash, causing her to subconsciously turn her bike, which led to her losing balance and toppling over, allowing Amelie and Warwick to pass her.

* * *

Amelie and Warwick had made it to a part of the beach which was covered entirely in rocks, all roughly the size of a baseball.

"When I was singing 'I Wanna Rock' in the shower this morning, this is NOT what I meant!" Warwick cried.

"...That was terrible," Amelie admitted.

Warwick did a small hop on his bike to make his way onto the rocks gracefully. Amelie made no such maneuver, however, and her bike tripped over upon hitting the rocks, launching Amelie into the pile of rocks. She cried out loudly upon making contact.

"...I think I'm done..." Amelie whimpered as she slowly got to her feet, holding back tears.

"Vardaman's out of the challenge!" Warwick called behind him. "He can fix you up probably!"

"Maybe..." Amelie sniveled as she backtracked to where Vardaman might be.

Genesis had now approached the rocky terrain. She did a brief wheelie to keep her bike from tripping as she made her way onto the rocks.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Well... I ain't winning this challenge. Guess all I can do now is hope and pray that Amelie and Genesis hold true to their word tonight. _(He begins to chew on a tongue depressor.)_

* * *

Warwick and Genesis had both made it off of the rocks. Genesis, having fallen behind, increased the rate of her pedaling in order to catch up to Warwick.

"Hey!" Warwick objected.

Genesis did not acknowledge him as she passed him.

"Fine! Don't respond to me!" Warwick huffed. "...Wait! I just realized what I said! I didn't... GAH!"

Genesis smirked as she kept her focus on the path before her.

Before long, the two campers found themselves at a stretch of the path which had been mostly dug out save for a slim stretch of sand which could still be biked upon. The parts of the beach which had been dug out had filled with ocean water.

Genesis screeched to a halt upon reaching this stretch. She put her hand to her pocket and felt her phone.

"Har! Scared of some water?" Warwick taunted.

Genesis showed him her phone.

"Why would you bring that thing with you?" Warwick asked as he passed her.

Genesis bit her thumbnail as she watched the rotund boy drive over the sliver of sand. She took a deep breath, pocketed her phone, and slowly made her way across the sliver herself.

* * *

As Warwick continued pedaling, he saw the finish line off in the distance.

"Is that... the finish?!" Warwick gasped.

Sure enough, Chris, Lindsay, Amelie, Isidora, and Vardaman all stood in wait to see who would win the challenge.

"There's Warwick!" Chris announced. "Genesis is nowhere to be- oh, wait! Here she comes!"

Indeed, Genesis began to catch up to Warwick.

"Oh no, you don't!" Warwick objected. He picked up the pace of his pedaling.

Genesis also picked up the pace of her pedaling.

"This is close!" Lindsay commented.

The two teenagers both approached the finish line, neck-and-neck. Just as they crossed the finish line, one of them gained a bit more speed and managed to cross a mere second before the other.

"And that's it!" Chris announced. "The winner of the challenge and Invincibility..."

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"Warwick!"

"Haha... hahaha... wait, really?" Warwick asked, astonished.

"Yep. Warwick cannot be voted out tonight," Chris confirmed. "The rest of you are all free game, though. Better hope it's not you tonight. Heheheh."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Well, I'm all bruised up, but I didn't break or even sprain anything... according to Vardaman, at least. I'm going to take a nap.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ If not for the water, I would have won that challenge, easily. It doesn't matter, though. What matters is that Isidora is vulnerable tonight and can go home. Although the Vardaman option is awfully tempting, too... Hm...

 **Isidora:** Vardaman losing the challenge is exactly what I needed. Voting me out when he's an option is game suicide. I just need to get Amelie and Warwick to vote with me. I think that's doable.

 **Vardaman:** I've been working on a mental case to plead to the others. Despite my majority alliance, I'm honestly real scared that it could be me going home tonight. Wish me luck, y'all.

 **Warwick:** Ha! If I can win this challenge, surely the finale challenge should be a cakewalk for me! Assuming I make it that far... and really, with threats like Genesis, Isidora, and Vardaman on the table, how could I not?

* * *

Amelie, Genesis, and Vardaman all met up in the boathouse.

"Alright, I hate to seem paranoid, but with me being vulnerable tonight, I hope you understand why," Vardaman started off. "I just want to make sure y'all are still fixing to vote for Isidora."

"I am," Amelie confirmed.

Genesis nodded.

"If Isidora survives tonight's vote, she and Warwick will have all the say in who to take to the finale," Vardaman continued. "And I honestly couldn't tell you which one of the two of you they'd prefer to take. Genesis has known them longer and has been aligned with them both, but Amelie would be easier to beat and hasn't done anything to betray them per se. They have good reasons to keep or get rid of both of you. If I were either of you, I wouldn't want to take the risk."

"You make a good point," Amelie said.

Genesis nodded. "You don't have to worry," she texted. "Isidora is going home tonight."

"Glad to hear it," Vardaman said as he began to chew on a tongue depressor.

"You should relax," Amelie told him. "Stressing out about it isn't going to help anything. Take a load off."

"Maybe..." Vardaman sighed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I don't know... I'm honestly not sure if we'll ever get another chance to vote out Vardaman. Although he does make some good points about Isidora and Warwick running the game should he leave... I certainly don't want that. Talk about a lose-lose situation.

 **Vardaman:** Maybe Amelie's right about me needing to take a break. Easy for her to say since she's not a target right now, but stress certainly ain't good for the mind or body either. Maybe I'll go take a shower or something.

* * *

Isidora and Warwick met up atop the thousand-foot cliff.

"I can't believe Vardaman actually lost the challenge," Isidora smiled. "The physical challenge, no less."

"Verily," Warwick nodded.

"Good job on beating him, by the way," Isidora said. "You may have just saved my game."

"It's not like I can give my Invincibility to you," Warwick said. "At least not without a statue, which, last I checked, we're fresh out of."

"No, but with Vardaman as a target now, surely one of Amelie or Genesis will reconsider voting for me," Isidora explained.

"Were they both planning on voting for you?" Warwick asked, taken aback a bit.

"Yep. They told me as much themselves," Isidora nodded.

"I knew Genesis was, but Amelie...?" Warwick asked.

"But things can change," Isidora reiterated. "They'd be foolish to keep big, strong Vardaman in the game over frail, weak Isidora. Especially this close to the finale."

"Perhaps, but both have made foolish moves in the past," Warwick reminded her. "We should probably talk to them both before the vote."

"Yeah, probably," Isidora conceded. "Can I just sit down for a bit and take a break from the stress, though? I've been stressed all day. I need this."

"Fair enough," Warwick nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** I know I shouldn't be so calm when I'm still a target and can still be voted off, but I just needed a moment of calm. I know there's still a game to be played, and believe me, I will be playing it tonight. Just not right now.

 **Warwick:** You know, I did contemplate doing a lap around the island for exercise... Guess I fulfilled that, no? It wasn't even that difficult. Perhaps I could make a habit of it. Why I daresay I feel healthier already!

* * *

It was dinnertime, and Genesis and Vardaman had sat down at the same table as Warwick.

"Hey, can we talk?" Vardaman asked.

"She can't," Warwick joked.

Genesis rolled her eyes.

"Shoot, that crossed the line, didn't it?" Warwick asked.

Genesis made a gesture that implied that she didn't really care.

"You said that you're trying to distance yourself from Isidora, right?" Vardaman asked.

"And you want me to vote her out?" Warwick guessed.

"I told you he'd figure it out," Genesis texted jokingly.

"Getting rid of Isidora tonight would prove that you really are your own man and can make your own decisions," Vardaman explained. "This whole game, you've let her or Zarardo do all the dirty work for you. You said you wanted to start leading a respectable life, right? Why not start by solidifying your independence?"

"But then I'd just be doing what you want," Warwick rebutted.

"I ain't saying you have to," Vardaman said. "But I think it's something you should consider."

"If you go through with this," Genesis texted. "I can guarantee you final three. We will vote out Amelie next round if you vote for Isidora with us."

"I'll consider it," Warwick answered.

"Glad to hear it," Vardaman smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Yeah, I did just make a final three deal with Warwick in front of Vardaman's face. If Isidora goes tonight and Amelie is invincible in the next round somehow, I will be voting for Vardaman. That's assuming he doesn't go home tonight, of course. _(She smiles deviously and shrugs innocently.)_

 **Warwick:** I will be coming to my own conclusion on how to vote tonight. There are good cases for either Isidora or Vardaman to go, and I am weighing all the pros and cons in my head. Gah! Why can't this game ever be _simple_?!

* * *

Amelie and Isidora both relaxed in the girls' cabin.

"Feeling any better?" Isidora asked.

"A little bit," Amelie answered. "Vardaman says I should still be sore tomorrow but should probably be better by the day after."

"Makes me glad I couldn't really do this one," Isidora commented.

"Because of your anemia?" Amelie figured.

"That plus I don't really know how to ride a bike," Isidora admitted. "No reason to learn since I do get dizzy and weak so often."

"Makes sense," Amelie nodded.

"...So, I don't suppose you still want to vote for Vardaman?" Isidora asked.

"Uh!" Amelie jumped a bit.

"That's a 'no', isn't it?" Isidora sighed. "Look, I'd be really easy to beat in the finale. Vardaman wouldn't be. You want to win, right?"

"Of course," Amelie said.

"I guarantee you will not win if you keep Vardaman tonight," Isidora said. "His loss today was a fluke. He will most likely win tomorrow's challenge and the finale challenge if he stays. I mean, he _might_ fluke another loss, but 'might' isn't worth banking your whole game on."

"That's true..." Amelie thought aloud.

"You can't afford to make rash decisions this late in the game," Isidora concluded as she grabbed a book from her bag and opened it.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** ...Isidora might be right! I _do_ want to win this! And letting Vardaman survive this round might cost me the game! But I promised him I'd vote Isidora! I don't want to break my promise! What do I dooooooooooooooo?!

 **Isidora:** I heard Amelie screaming in here before I came in. I hope I didn't break her. She might be more inclined to vote for me if I did...

* * *

The five campers all met up at the firepit for elimination. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"Welcome, boys and girls, to the all-important marshmallow ceremony!" Chris greeted. "Four of you will walk away with a marshmallow in your belly and another day in the game. One of you will take a one-way trip down the Elevator of Shame. Heheheh. Now, who's safe...?"

"Warwick!"

"Amelie!"

"Genesis!"

Isidora and Vardaman both began to sweat.

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"Vardaman," Chris finally said.

"Thank y'all," Vardaman could barely speak as Chris tossed him his marshmallow.

Isidora took a deep breath before standing up and making her way towards the Dock of Shame.

"Well, uh..." Chris started. "If anyone wants to see Isidora off, you can follow us to the Dock of Shame. The rest of you can head to bed."

* * *

Isidora, Warwick, and Chris all came to the Dock of Shame.

"Isidora..." Warwick said. "I voted for Vardaman."

Isidora turned around and pulled Warwick in for a hug, which he returned.

The two broke the hug and Isidora looked at Chris expectantly.

"That's it? No sappy goodbyes?" Chris asked.

"Oh..." Warwick muttered.

"Cool. Easier for me," Chris said as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors.

"Later, Isidora..." Warwick said with a slight wave as he left the Dock of Shame. As he left, Isidora entered the Elevator of Losers.

"Isidora, you have finished the game in 5th place," Chris said.

Isidora did not respond.

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater. Chris turned to the camera.

"If tonight proved anything, it's that people live and die by their social game here on Total Drama," Chris said. "That or people don't understand how challenge threats work. But hey, I'm not the one playing the game."

"And now we're down to four!" Lindsay added as she arrived on scene.

"Indeed we are," Chris nodded. "Will Vardaman make good use of his challenge strength to keep himself safe? Will Genesis continue to sneak her way past elimination?"

"Will Warwick make a respectable man of himself?" Lindsay asked. "Will Amelie take control of her emotions?"

"I can hardly wait to find out myself," Chris said.

"The answers, next time!" Lindsay announced.

"On Total!" Chris announced.

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Vardaman:** Sorry, Isidora. I didn't want it to come to this, but it's you or me right now, and I'd rather it ain't me.

 **Isidora:** I can't win this game as long as you're still in it. For what it's worth, you're a good person, but I'm here to win. I vote for Vardaman.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ If I keep Vardaman, there's a chance he'll win challenges and cause me to lose. If I keep Isidora, she'll definitely have all the power and cause me to lose. I'll take a chance of losing over definitely losing. So I vote for Isidora.

 **Warwick:** A respectable man would stay loyal to his allies and true to his word. At least I think that's pretty respectable. Zarardo taught me that the opposite isn't very respectable. So I'm standing with Isidora, and voting for Vardaman.

 **Amelie:** I'm sorry, Isidora, but keeping you is just too risky. I have no idea if you'd keep me or not, and I don't want to be paranoid again. Also... you did kind of backstab my best friend. I hope you understand.

* * *

 _A/N: If anyone in this story was a universal fan favorite, it's probably Isidora. Honestly, I didn't expect that reaction at all, but I definitely enjoyed writing her, don't get me wrong. Believe me, she was originally supposed to go home WAY earlier, but the praise from the readers plus how much I enjoyed writing her led to me bumping her placement up quite a few times until we landed here. Sadly, though, she was never meant to win, so here she lies at 5th place. Which, out of 26, isn't bad at all, I'd say._


	26. Ep 25: Surveying the Land

"Welcome back to Total Drama Alpha Party!" Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame.

"Hiiii," Lindsay said with a wave.

"In the last episode, our campers built their own bikes to ride around the island," Chris recapped.

"It was my idea!" Lindsay chirped.

"Yep," Chris said nonchalantly. "Anyway, the targets on Isidora's and Vardaman's backs did not let up, and both of them appealed to Amelie, Genesis, and Warwick to try and keep them in the game. And they sure needed it, too, since Warwick of all people won Invincibility that night, meaning both of them received votes that night. Amelie, Genesis, and Warwick all showed that they had considered both options, but in the end, everyone stayed true to their alliances, and, in a three-to-two vote, Isidora bit the dust that night."

"She didn't actually die," Lindsay clarified. "She just lost the game."

"They know what I meant," Chris insisted. "Anyway, we're down to our final four. Not that much longer until a winner is crowned, but our campers just have one more challenge to face before they can earn that sweet, sweet title of 'finalist'. Who will earn that title? Who will fall just short? Find out, right here, on Total!"

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

Warwick sat on the edge of the thousand-foot cliff, reading the book Isidora let him borrow.

"Hey," Genesis texted as she approached him.

"Good morning," Warwick sighed.

"Upset about Isidora, I take it?" Genesis texted.

"She was my closest friend and ally in this game," Warwick said as he looked up from his book. "This island feels... emptier without her. Platonically, of course!"

Genesis silently chuckled. "Well, I'm here to talk about my offer from last night," she texted.

"I didn't vote for Isidora last night," Warwick told her.

"I know," Genesis texted. "But I still want to take you to final three."

"Oh?" Warwick asked warily as he turned to face the deaf girl.

"See, I told a small fib when I made that offer," Genesis texted. "I don't want to get Amelie out this round. I want to get Vardaman out this round."

"That does make more sense," Warwick nodded.

"Obviously I couldn't say that with him right there," Genesis texted. "But I want you and Amelie in the final three with me. Letting Vardaman there would basically be forfeiting the million."

"And yet you let him in the final four over Isidora," Warwick frowned.

"My reasons for doing so are complicated, but there is a method to my madness, I promise," Genesis texted. "Anyway, all I ask of you today is to go out of your way to make Vardaman vulnerable tonight. Try your best in the challenge, or maybe play dirty and cause him to lose. It's up to you. But if Vardaman is vulnerable tonight, I can guarantee you final three. You have no obligation to help me out here other than by voting for him, which would benefit you regardless of how receptive you are to my plan. Just something to think about."

"I will think about it," Warwick told Genesis. "I'm here to win, just like you. I'll do whatever I feel is best for my game."

"I couldn't ask any more of you," Genesis texted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Of course, as far as Vardaman knows and will continue to know, Warwick is my target tonight. And Warwick will go home if Vardaman is invincible tonight, make no mistake. What I need right now is for the boys to want each other gone. That way the target stays off of me, and I can make my way to the finale.

 **Warwick:** It's true that Vardaman is a huge threat to all of our games, but it's also true that Genesis has been playing an awfully dirty game, even way back on the Boldface. If Vardaman is invincible tonight, I may push for Genesis to go. Show her how it feels to be done dirty!

* * *

Amelie ate her breakfast on her own when Vardaman sat across the table from her.

"Howdy," Vardaman greeted. "Thanks a million for voting for Isidora last night. Can't thank you enough, really."

"Oh, no problem," Amelie smiled. "I didn't trust her, plus she backstabbed me and Stormy~. I felt like voting for her was just the right thing to do, you know?"

"Well, I ain't a philosopher, so I don't know nothing about right or wrong," Vardaman said. "But rest assured that I definitely want you in the finale with me."

"Aw, really?" Amelie asked, flattered.

"Of course. You're a sweet gal, and even though it took us a while to work together, we were teammates from the start, so we're practically family, right?" Vardaman asked.

"I wouldn't go that far... but I get what you're saying," Amelie answered.

"I don't know, maybe the fact that the game's almost over is getting me all sentimental," Vardaman said. "I think I'm going to miss this place once it's all over."

"I'm definitely going to look back on all this fondly," Amelie nodded.

Silence.

"I'm going to go fix myself some breakfast," Vardaman said as he got up and left for the kitchen.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** When I entered this game, I never thought I'd play so strategically. I just thought I'd make friends and have fun. Now I'm kind of at a loss for words when there isn't any strategy talk to be had. Maybe it's because Amelie and I were never really close before, I don't know. Either way, that was awkward. I can't wait to see Kelsey, Quentin, and Tori again. Miss those guys.

 **Amelie:** Is it bad that I feel like the entire point of that conversation was Vardaman trying to get me to want to take him to final three? Am I getting paranoid again? ...I shouldn't overthink it.

* * *

Warwick made his return to the campground when he saw Amelie exiting the washrooms.

"Oh! Good morning, Warwick," Amelie waved.

"Ah, Amelie," Warwick smiled. His smile quickly dropped. "Be honest. Am I the next to go?"

"What?" Amelie asked, taken aback a bit.

"If Vardaman wins today's challenge, am I the next to go?" Warwick asked.

"I, uh..." Amelie stammered. "I haven't really thought a whole lot about the vote, actually. And I promise that's not a lie to hide my real intentions! I really haven't thought about it."

"I believe you, worry not," Warwick said. "I don't know, I figure you, Genesis, and Vardaman are working together to some extent since you had the majority against Isidora, so I feel kind of on the outs here, you know?"

"Aw, Warwick," Amelie frowned. "We don't have anything against you. We just didn't want Isidora and you controlling the vote in the final four."

"I see..." Warwick muttered.

"But things can always change now that we are in the final four," Amelie assured him.

"So you'd vote for Genesis if Vardaman was invincible?" Warwick asked.

"Well... possibly," Amelie smiled.

"Would you be willing to make a deal?" Warwick offered.

"To vote for Genesis if Vardaman is invincible?" Amelie asked.

"That's right," Warwick nodded.

"I mean..." Amelie trailed off.

"You voted for Jasper and Zarardo because they played dirty. Why not Genesis?" Warwick asked.

"Genesis isn't playing that dirty, I don't think," Amelie said.

"You weren't there on the Boldface. Remember Osric?" Warwick asked. "He was one of her closest allies, and she sent him packing simply so she could gain some more allies!"

"Ursula did say something to that effect before..." Amelie thought aloud.

"And I don't doubt she'd do the same to you if it meant saving her own behind!" Warwick continued. "I say you beat her to the punch!"

"You're right!" Amelie agreed. "I really need to sit down and think. Thanks, Warwick."

"Of course!" Warwick grinned.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I've been trying to be less paranoid and more trusting. Maybe I'm being too trusting. I don't want to be backstabbed, especially this close to the end!

 **Warwick:** Tch. Amelie is so easily manipulated. Not to mention hypocritical. I seem to recall her being pretty close with Jasper and Zarardo before she voted them out. But whatever works to make sure I'm not the next to go. I'm in it to win it!

* * *

As Vardaman ate his breakfast, he was joined by Genesis.

"Oh, Genesis," Vardaman greeted. "Thanks so much for keeping me last night."

"What are allies for?" Genesis texted.

"You and I both know alliances don't always mean loyalty in this game," Vardaman said. "Which is part of why I'm so grateful."

"It's always better to have strong allies in this game than weak ones," Genesis texted.

"Well I ain't going to argue with that," Vardaman chuckled. "Honestly, other than me, you're probably the strongest person physically here."

"You think?" Genesis texted. "I guess Warwick's not going to win any 10k's anytime soon and Amelie's kind of shrimpy. How weird."

"That's why I'm glad we're sticking together," Vardaman said.

"Likewise," Genesis texted. "By the way, I take it you're good with losing Warwick tonight, or Amelie if he's invincible?"

"Of course," Vardaman nodded. "Either way, congrats in advance on making the final three."

"Likewise," Genesis texted. "This game is ours for the taking. Now let's take it tonight."

"I'll drink to that," Vardaman grinned as he took a sip of milk.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ There is no way he's this gullible. He has to be just playing along. Obviously I'm not going to take him to the finale with me if I can help it. I'm just trying to make sure he doesn't vote me out. He has to know that. Also, where's this whole "you're the second strongest person left" thing coming from? That goes against the meek disabled girl image I'm going for. That whole conversation is getting on my nerves way more than it should.

 **Vardaman:** Do I think Genesis would vote me off if given the chance? Of course. But I figure that, if I'm nice to her and remind her that we're good allies, maybe she'll be less inclined to vote me off if given the chance? Couldn't hurt.

* * *

Vardaman exited the mess hall and, out of the corner of his eye, noticed Warwick running along the beach.

"Working out?" Vardaman called.

"Yea!" Warwick confirmed as he stopped to take a breather. "Care to join me?"

"You know what? Sure," Vardaman agreed as he made his way down to the beach. The two boys proceeded to jog along the beach.

"How they were able to remove all the obstacles from yesterday's challenge so quickly, I'll never know," Warwick commented.

"You got me there," Vardaman said.

"So, what are you thinking about this round?" Warwick asked. "There are whispers that this is the last round before the finale."

"Could be," Vardaman said. "With such a large cast, not to mention returnees and non-elimination days, I doubt they could fit so much in one season. Though, in that case, why not have every day be an elimination day and have the finale at final two like they usually do?"

"I couldn't claim to know," Warwick said. "Who would you eliminate this round in light of a potential finale tomorrow, if I may be so bold as to ask?"

"I ain't sure, to be honest," Vardaman answered. "And that ain't a cover-up, I'm honestly torn."

"I think whoever is safe tonight would affect the votes," Warwick figured. "Perchance you'll come to a decision then."

"Could be," Vardaman figured.

"Well, just remember that you've had to slow yourself in order to go at the same pace as me at this moment," Warwick pointed out. "And that, if you weren't trying, you could still outspeed me by quite a bit."

"I'll keep that in mind," Vardaman chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** It really is a free-for-all at this point. Obviously, as a challenge threat, I'm worried about what might happen should I lose, so I'm trying to talk to everyone at least once today, be charming, make sure they have a good impression of me in their minds before they vote.

 **Warwick:** At this point, I'm just itching for the finale to happen, already. Not much strategy to be done at final four, plus everyone left voted against me last night, so today's just been kind of long, awkward, and boring.

* * *

Amelie found Genesis relaxing in the girls' cabin.

"You seem awfully relaxed," Amelie noted. "Moreso than the boys, at least."

"That's because the boys both know that they're targets," Genesis texted. "Which may or may not be because I told them that I'd be up for voting for the other."

"Which one do you really want gone?" Amelie asked.

"I'd prefer to get rid of Vardaman if possible, but if he wins today's challenge, I'd still be fine with losing Warwick," Genesis texted with a shrug.

"Makes sense," Amelie nodded.

"Either way, you should be safe. Unless the boys both vote against you and you lose a tiebreaker challenge or something," Genesis texted.

"What?!" Amelie gasped.

"Basically you're safe," Genesis texted. "I can't imagine anyone would vote for you at this point."

"That's good," Amelie said with a sigh of relief. "It's actually nice knowing I don't have any enemies right now."

"Did you ever?" Genesis texted.

"Cordelia, Hugh, and Jasper," Amelie listed. "I also thought Dalit and Tori were scary, and I didn't like Zarardo telling me what to do, but I wouldn't call them 'enemies' per se."

"That's more than I expected, honesty," Genesis texted. "Dalit was definitely an enemy of mine, which is why she's gone now. I'm not even sure what Phoenix and Ursula were to me. See, my strategy was to make sure I had as few enemies as possible, so I actually think my list stops there. There were people I disliked, but I didn't have many people gunning for me."

"Well, it seems to have worked if you made it this far, I suppose," Amelie said. "You'd think playing such a strategic game would get more people against you."

"That's why I'm still here and other strategists aren't," Genesis texted. "You made a wise choice in aligning with me."

"Uh, thanks," Amelie smiled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Genesis seems awfully proud of herself. I guess on some level I can't blame her since her disability couldn't have made it easy for her, but she seems kind of arrogant about the whole thing. At least she seems to trust me by telling me all that she did, so I _think_ she won't vote for me tonight.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I feel that being as candid as I was around Amelie will convey to her that I trust her. Plus, bragging a bit might help her remember that I'm a force to be reckoned with strategically, which may or may not stop her from backstabbing me. It could happen.

* * *

The four campers met in the mess hall with Chris and Lindsay. Each of the contestants sat at a different table with a buzzer before them.

"Welcome to your last Invincibility challenge!" Chris welcomed. "Yes, that's right, this is your last shot at Invincibility before the finale. We're doing a three-person finale this time, as many of you have guessed."

Genesis wore an exaggerated, fake look of shock on her face.

"Hilarious," Chris remarked. "Lindsay, explain the challenge."

"Okay!" Lindsay complied. "For today's challenge, we handed out a survey to everyone who was voted off before the merge... except Stormy~ and Zarardo because they came back. We're going to ask you how you think certain people answered certain questions. If you think you know the answer, buzz in! You have three lives in this challenge. If you get it right, you can take out one of someone else's lives, but if you get it wrong, you lose a life and we move on to the next question. We'll keep going until three of you have lost all your lives. The last person standing wins Invincibility! Any questions?"

"Yes, did we not do this exact challenge two days ago?" Warwick asked.

"I ruined that one and I wanted another shot, okay?!" Lindsay cried. "I even fixed it a little."

"Why just the people who went before the merge?" Vardaman asked curiously.

"I wanted to see if you really remembered them," Lindsay answered. "Prove that they matter too."

"It might be tough remembering people I was never on the same team as," Amelie thought aloud.

"All part of the challenge!" Chris stepped in.

Silence.

"No more questions? Sweet. Let's get this challenge started!" Chris said.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Ephraim and Mondo went home before the merge, so they should be easy for me to guess. Maybe Cordelia too since she was always hounding me. I'm optimistic about this one.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I must have conversed with all of the Killer Boldface at least once. Maybe not Ronoc or Xingrong, but I doubt Xingrong has anything on his mind besides sandwiches anyway, so it's not like he'll be difficult to decipher.

 **Vardaman:** A challenge where we have to guess things about people we didn't talk to much? Interesting. Wonder what some of the people I never really met were like.

 **Warwick:** Tsk, of course, Zarardo is excluded. If I have anything going for me in this challenge, it's that I'm probably the only person here who ever spoke to Ronoc or Xingrong, so there's that, if nothing else.

* * *

"Question one!" Lindsay started as she read from a tiny cue card. "What was Quentin's favorite moment in the game? Is it A: forming his alliance? B: getting together with Tori? C: making sandwiches with Xingrong? Or D: finding all the hidden statues at once?"

Vardaman quickly buzzed in.

"It's got to be getting together with Tori," Vardaman answered. "He was on cloud nine after they became a couple."

"You are correct!" Lindsay confirmed. "Pick someone to lose a life!"

"Sorry, Warwick," Vardaman chose.

"Gasp!" Warwick gasped. "That's something I stole from Quentin, actually. Saying 'gasp' instead of actually gasping. He was a good sport about it."

"Question two!" Chris continued as he read from cue cards of his own. "Who did Naomi wish she could have spoken with more? A: Genesis? B: Osric? C: Ursula? D: Vardaman?"

Genesis buzzed in before the others.

"D," Genesis texted.

"Naw, really?" Vardaman asked with a slight blush.

"That is correct!" Chris confirmed. "Pick someone to lose a life."

"Speaking of Vardaman... sorry, but I choose him," Genesis texted.

"Huh?" Vardaman asked, startled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** So Genesis is taking my lives, huh? Guess she wasn't kidding when she said she'd drop me at the final four. Well, I've got some fight in me, and I ain't afraid to fight back. ...Naomi really wanted to talk to me that much, huh?

* * *

"Question three!" Lindsay continued. "When did Bijou think she was going to go home before the game? A: early? B: late in the premerge? C: sometime in the merge? Or D: she thought she'd make the finale?"

Vardaman quickly buzzed in.

"C," Vardaman answered. "She was confident, but not cocky. I think she had a realistic idea of doing well."

"That's right!" Lindsay confirmed. "Choose someone to lose a life."

"Genesis," Vardaman chose. "Eye for an eye. Or in this case, I guess it'd be life for a life."

"That's fair," Genesis texted with a slight nod.

"Question four," Chris interrupted. "Who did Osric wish he could have met from the other team back when he was still in the game? A: Amelie? B: Bijou? C: Cordelia? Or D: Stormy~?"

Amelie buzzed in.

"For some reason, I get the feeling the answer is Cordelia," Amelie answered.

"Nope!" Chris grinned. "Actually, the answer was A: Amelie."

"O-Oh," Amelie stammered. "I'm... not sure what to think about that."

"I know what I think: you've just lost a life!" Chris announced.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Can't say I'm all that surprised that all of Osric's potential answers are female. I wonder what Ursula thinks of this. I can't imagine she's all that happy about it.

* * *

"Question five!" Lindsay announced. "What was Dalit's least favorite moment of the game? A: Fighting with Kelsey? B: Finding out Genesis tricked her out of a statue? C: Being voted out? Or D: Being underground?"

Genesis buzzed in.

"B," Genesis texted. "I was there for pretty much her entire time in the game. I remember her reactions to things."

"B is correct!" Lindsay confirmed.

"I choose to take another one of Vardaman's lives," Genesis texted.

"Aw geez," Vardaman muttered in a slight panic.

"Question numero six-o!" Chris continued.

"That is definitely not Spanish for six," Warwick pointed out.

"What is Ephraim's biggest regret in the game?" Chris continued as he side-eyed Warwick. "Is it A: growing apart from Amelie? B: threatening Hugh? C: not branching out on his team sooner? Or D: trusting Jasper?"

Vardaman buzzed in as quickly as he could.

"Trusting Jasper?" Vardaman asked hopefully.

"That is... incorrect!" Chris responded. "The correct answer was C: not branching out on his team sooner. Thus costing Vardaman his final life of the challenge."

"Shucks..." Vardaman growled to himself.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** You might notice I haven't buzzed in yet. That's partially because I refuse to answer any questions I'm not confident I know the answer to. Vardaman losing from a wrong answer showcases why. It's also partially so I can keep the attention off of myself and hope that everyone else just gets rid of each other's lives.

* * *

"Question... which number question are we on again?" Lindsay whispered to Chris.

"Seven," Chris whispered back.

"Question seven!" Lindsay announced. "Who does Mondo wish he could have voted out? A: Dalit? B: Fauna? C: Hugh? D: Jasper?"

Amelie buzzed in.

"I'm betting it's Jasper," Amelie answered. "Surely Mondo knows by now that Jasper was faking being gay. I doubt he's all that happy about it."

"Jasper is correct!" Lindsay confirmed. "Whose life do you want to take?"

"That sounds so dark," Amelie winced. "...Genesis."

Genesis wore an exaggerated, genuine look of shock on her face.

"Question eight," Chris continued. "Who did Kelsey consider to be her closest friend in the game? A: Mondo? B: Quentin? C: Tori? D: Vardaman?"

Genesis buzzed in.

"A," Genesis texted. "I vaguely remember those two talking quite a bit back when she was in the game."

"Maybe, but the answer is actually D!" Chris corrected. "Maybe if you'd paid more attention, you'd know they fell out and formed their own separate alliances. Then you wouldn't be out of lives and out of the challenge."

"You sure are popular with the ladies, eh?" Warwick asked Vardaman.

"I'm as surprised as you," Vardaman chuckled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I don't know, Genesis taking one of Vardaman's lives even though we're supposed to be in an alliance rubbed me the wrong way. I guess it felt right to take one of hers. Although... does that make me just as bad as her? I shouldn't overthink it.

* * *

"Question nine!" Lindsay announced. "Who did Yolonda consider her worst enemy in the game? A: Fauna? B: Genesis? C: Osric? Or D: Xingrong?"

Warwick buzzed in.

"I'm betting it's A," Warwick said. "I know she complained about Fauna a lot behind her back."

"That's right!" Lindsay confirmed. "And since Genesis and Vardaman are both out of the challenge already, Amelie loses a life by default."

"Oh," Amelie frowned.

"Question ten. It's really coming down to the wire. If Warwick gets it right or Amelie gets it wrong, then Warwick wins. If not, we move on to our final question," Chris explained. "Anyway! What is Lester's favorite color?"

"That's a question?" Genesis texted.

"A: smaragdine? B: glaucous? C: falu? D: amarinth?" Chris listed.

"Those are colors?" Vardaman asked.

Amelie buzzed in.

"Uh..." Amelie trailed off. "A?!" she panicked. "I buzzed in without thinking of an answer!"

"Well, A is..." Chris trailed off.

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"Correct!" Chris confirmed.

"Whew," Amelie breathed a sigh of relief.

"What even is smaragdine?" Warwick asked.

"I don't know, but the name is goofy enough that I'd believe it's Lester's favorite color," Amelie said.

"Same color as his shirt," Lindsay said. "Yeah, I had to look it up."

"Anyway, it's time for the final question," Chris said. "Invincibility is on the line for Amelie and Warwick. Who's going to get it? Let's find out."

"Question eleven!" Lindsay announced. "Who does Xingrong consider to be the most attractive contestant this season? A: Bijou? B: Isidora? C: Stormy~? D: Yolonda?"

Warwick quickly buzzed in.

" _That's_ a question?" Vardaman asked.

"I'm more surprised that he actually had an answer for it," Genesis texted.

"Surely it's Isidora," Warwick said. "He'd pick that if only to spite me!"

"That... is..." Chris trailed off.

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"Incorrect! The answer was Yolonda!" Chris announced. "Meaning that Amelie wins Invincibility and has secured her spot in the finale!"

"Wait... really?!" Amelie gasped. She fainted.

"Genesis, Vardaman, Warwick... two of you will join Amelie in the finale. One of you will not," Chris said. "I'll leave it up to the four of you to decide who doesn't."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** What am I doing in the finale?! Me of all people? _(She takes a deep breath.)_ Well, I've made it this far. If I can do that, maybe I can win? Right?

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Vardaman is a target tonight. This should make the vote incredibly easy. Lose the obvious challenge threat. Of course, I have to rely on Amelie and Warwick here, so I'm going to make double sure they're voting Vardaman tonight.

 **Vardaman:** I may be- scratch that, I am a target tonight. But I ain't going to lay down and let myself get voted out. Genesis or Warwick... I'll vote for either of them to make sure I might stay.

 **Warwick:** Gah, so close! Well, it matters not. I can still make sure I don't get voted out tonight. I'm probably the least threatening person who isn't invincible right now. Why vote for me when you can lose the challenge beast or the backstabby shrew?

* * *

Amelie, Genesis, and Warwick met up in the girls' cabin.

"So the vote should be obvious, but just to make sure we're on the same page here," Genesis texted. "We're voting for Vardaman, right?"

"Verily!" Warwick agreed. "T'would be a huge risk to allow him to come to the finale. We all want to win, yes?"

"Exactly," Genesis texted with a nod. "Amelie, I assume you agree?"

"O-Of course," Amelie smiled. "I'm smaller than both of you. I have the most reason to worry about being destroyed in the final challenge."

"Makes sense to me," Genesis texted. "So here's to the final three!"

"Hear, hear!" Warwick concurred.

"Y-Yeah!" Amelie agreed.

"So... what do we do for the rest of the day? That was super easy," Warwick wondered.

"Guess it might as well be a day off," Genesis texted.

"I'm all for that," Warwick grinned.

"Same," Amelie agreed.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I'm still really nervous about this whole vote. I don't want to make the wrong move, but there are so many factors to consider. This is why I allied with Jasper and Zarardo in the first place. Strategy isn't really my thing.

 **Warwick:** I'll be honest, this final three isn't the one I had envisioned at the start of the game, but any final three which includes me is a good one by my standards!

* * *

Amelie and Genesis ate dinner in the mess hall when Vardaman joined them.

"Evening, ladies," Vardaman said with a tip of his hat.

"Evening," Amelie smiled.

"So... we still haven't talked strategy," Vardaman pointed out. "Even though it's a couple hours until the votes are due."

"I figured the vote was obvious, sorry," Genesis texted. "We're voting for Warwick, right? Loyalty to the alliance."

"Makes sense to me," Vardaman said. "I don't know, you taking one of my lives in the challenge kind of threw me."

"Oh, that?" Genesis texted. "I just didn't want to be too obvious to Warwick. I want him as comfortable as possible with his position so he doesn't try to make any moves behind out backs. Amelie and I have this fake deal with him to vote you out, so you'll probably get a vote tonight."

"Alright," Vardaman said. "Sorry if I came off like I didn't trust you."

"Don't worry, I totally understand," Genesis texted with a sweet smile.

"So, uh... here's to the final three," Amelie added.

"Agreed," Genesis texted with a nod.

"Definitely," Vardaman agreed with a nod.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Genesis is voting for me, isn't she? Aw, geez. This ain't good. You think I could flip the vote around onto her? It's worth a try. I've still got time. Not much, but I could at least try something.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I'm in a perfect position. I, alongside with the person who's safe tonight, are the swing votes between the other two people in the game, both of whom believe I have their backs. I might as well be invincible myself.

* * *

Vardaman summoned Amelie and Warwick into the boys' cabin.

"Alright, I'm sure it ain't hard to guess why I called you both here," Vardaman started.

"Of course it isn't!" Warwick scoffed. "But, er, for the sake of the audience, perhaps you should explain anyway."

"Look, Warwick, Genesis is playing both sides here," Vardaman explained. "Ain't that right, Amelie?"

"Um, well, see, the thing is... yeah, kind of," Amelie confessed.

"She's trying to keep you and me at each other's throats," Vardaman explained. "Because she wants the target to stay entirely off of herself."

"Clever girl..." Warwick winced.

"That's why I've gathered the three of us here," Vardaman continued. "I want to turn the tides against Genesis. Show her that this disloyalty and trickery can't be rewarded."

"It is an awfully dirty move," Warwick conceded. "You know what? I may very well vote for Genesis tonight!"

"Yeah," Amelie nodded.

"Glad to hear both of you are onboard with this," Vardaman said. "The three of us right here? We're the final three. How cool is that?"

"Huzzah!" Warwick cheered.

"Yay," Amelie said softly with a smile.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Vardaman:** Can't say for sure that both, if either, of them really will go through with it, but I can hope. _(He begins chewing on a tongue depressor.)_

* * *

The four campers all met up at the firepit for elimination. Chris was there, holding a platter of marshmallows.

"I know you guys are anxious to see what happens..." So I'm going to go as slowly as possible," Chris grinned.

"No," Amelie, Vardaman, and Warwick all said in unison. Genesis leered at him.

"Alright, fine," Chris grumbled. "Sooner I announce who goes, the sooner I can see the face of someone whose dreams are shattered. Anyway, since Amelie won the challenge, she gets the first marshmallow."

Amelie smiled as she caught the marshmallow which Chris had tossed to her.

"With no votes to go home..." Chris began.

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"Warwick!"

"Yeah!" Warwick grinned as he caught the marshmallow in his mouth.

Genesis wore an exaggerated, genuine look of shock on her face. Vardaman held onto his seat with white knuckles.

"The final marshmallow... of the night... and of the game... goes to..." Chris said slowly.

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...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"Genesis," he finally called.

Genesis was too overcome with joy to notice that Chris had tossed a marshmallow at her, and it hit her in the forehead, causing her to flinch.

Vardaman sighed. "Well, good game, I guess," he said as he stood up.

"Let's all accompany him to the Elevator," Amelie suggested. "It'll be the last one."

"I was going to anyway, honestly," Warwick admitted.

"Same," Genesis agreed.

"Great. You all love each other. Let's eliminate this son of a gun," Chris said impatiently.

* * *

Vardaman, Amelie, Genesis, Warwick, and Chris all came to the Dock of Shame.

"Fell just short of the finale," Vardaman sighed.

"Nothing personal," Genesis texted. "Actually, you were one of my favorite people to talk to out here. I just knew I'd lose if I let you into the finale. You understand, right?"

"I understand the move. I don't respect it, but I understand it," Vardaman said sternly.

"I guess that's all I can really ask for," Genesis texted.

"I agree with Genesis, actually," Amelie said. "You're a cool guy, Vardaman. I hated voting for you, I really did."

"I hate it too," Vardaman chuckled.

"All these 'I's," Warwick pointed out. "Vardaman, you're a good man. Your spot in my round table still stands, even though I no longer wish to become king. If I do somehow become king, though, I'll let you know."

"Glad to hear it," Vardaman smiled. "Good luck to all of you tomorrow. I look forward to seeing who's going to take it all."

"Sounds like all's been said and done," Chris noted as he took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. After a few seconds, the Elevator of Losers came up from the water and opened its doors.

"Been a pleasure, y'all," Vardaman said.

"Bye, Vardaman," Amelie waved as she left the Dock.

"Good game," Genesis texted as she left the Dock.

"I shall win this for the men!" Warwick declared as he left the Dock.

Vardaman entered the Elevator of Losers.

"Vardaman, you have finished this game in 4th place," Chris said.

Vardaman sighed disappointedly.

"Going down!" Chris announced as he pressed the button on the remote control again. The doors to the Elevator shut, and it went back down underwater. Chris turned to the camera.

"It's been a long ride, but here we are: the final three," Chris said.

"Someone's going to win a million dollars soon!" Lindsay cheered as she entered the scene.

"Will it be the paranoid coward who gained courage, Amelie?" Chris asked.

"Will it be the mute backstabber who gained power, Genesis?" Lindsay asked.

"Or will it be the self-proclaimed king who gained wisdom, Warwick?" Chris asked.

"Stay tuned for the finale, guys!" Lindsay implored the camera.

"The answer to the question on everyone's mind... hopefully it is, anyway... next time!" Chris announced. "On Total!"

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" they both finished.

* * *

 **Votes:**

 **Vardaman:** Praying this push against Genesis works. It's my only hope at this point.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Nothing to say that hasn't already been said a million times. It's time for Vardaman to go home.

 **Warwick:** Genesis may be playing an underhanded game, but that's not what matters at the end, challenge strength is. Sorry, but my vote goes to Vardaman.

 **Amelie:** Genesis is playing a dirty game, but Vardaman would probably win if he made the finale. Do I vote for goodness or for the game?! _(She sighs.)_ I'm really really really really really sorry, but... just this once, I have to make a dirty move, too. I vote for Vardaman! Eep! I did it! I'm so sorry!

* * *

 _A/N: Falling just one round short of the finale, Vardaman takes fourth place! Vardaman was a pretty traditional kind of Total Drama protagonist: one who's overall nice and likable but smart enough to get by in the game, and, I'll admit, he might have been a bit cliche in that regard, but people have told me that he would have made a good winner, so he has that going for him. I'll admit he did kind of die off in overall activity near the end, and maybe I could have let him go home a bit earlier, but overall, I'd say Vardaman was a fitting protagonist for a season like this._

 _As is my usual MO at this point, I've left a poll on my author page asking who you want to win Total Drama Alpha Party! Amelie, Genesis, or Warwick... what do you guys think of the final three as a whole?_


	27. Ep 26: The One Where Someone Wins

"Previously, on Total Drama Alpha Party..." Chris said to the camera from the Dock of Shame. "Twenty-six teenagers set foot onto Neo Wawanakwa to begin the competition of the summer! With a million dollars at stake, these kids showed that they were willing to do anything to make it far into the game. Lying, cheating, stealing... we had it all on Total Drama Alpha Party!"

"It wasn't all hard feelings, though," Lindsay piped in. "Lots of people made friends with each other, and we even had a few couples get together!"

"Which made losing the game all the worse for the twenty-three who didn't make it to the end," Chris chuckled. "But here we are at the end. Three campers remain, all eagerly in wait for their final trial: the one thing standing between them, a million bucks, and the glory of being etched into Total Drama's hall of winners."

"Oh, I can't wait!" Lindsay clapped excitedly.

"Amelie Payne," Chris began. "When she entered the game, she was, to put it lightly, a quivering wreck. Afraid of her own shadow and constantly on edge that she might get blindsided, she latched onto Ephraim in hopes that he might keep her safe. She also found herself letting her guard down around other teammates like Jasper, Mondo, and Stormy~. As she made friends, she began to get out of her shell and grew more confident in herself, which it turned out she needed to do, as she ended up outlasting all of her friends."

"And now she's in the final three!" Lindsay chirped. "Can she prove that she's no longer the scared girl she was before by winning it all?"

"Genesis Morales," Chris continued. "Genesis holds the distinction of being the only mute to play Total Drama, and she knew it. She actually wove her strategy around this fact by letting herself come off as the harmless disabled girl that people would want to protect rather than vote out. Even when she stabbed people in the back and made side deals with just about everybody, and even when people caught on, she managed to avoid elimination. Genesis is one of this season's sneakiest players, but sneaking won't help in the final challenge."

"But now she is at the final challenge!" Lindsay added. "Can she seize the moment she worked to reach by winning it all?"

"Warwick Sadalfas," Chris continued. "Coming from a very wealthy family who doesn't seem to like him all that much, Warwick sought the respect of others by proclaiming himself to be a future king, and that winning the prize money would be his first step towards getting his own country. Sure enough, Warwick was bossy, petty, and blind to his own faults, until the feelings he developed towards Isidora caused him to let his guard down and open up to her... only to be brutally rejected. He's since made it his mission to earn the respect of others instead of demanding it."

"And now he's made it to the finale!" Lindsay finished. "Can he earn the respect he wants from others by winning it all?"

"For one of these lucky teens, the answer is yes," Chris grinned. "Who is that lucky teen? Find out, right here, on Total!"

" _Drama_!" Lindsay added.

" _ALPHA PARTY_!" the two finished.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Oh boy... today's the day. Do I sound nervous? Because I'm nervous. B-But I'm going to give this my all! Imagine if I won Total Drama... do you think that'd look good on a résumé?

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I could hardly sleep last night. It's like the night before Christmas; I just wanted it to be tomorrow already. And now it is! I'm actually really excited to get this final challenge started.

 **Warwick:** Well, here I am. In the finale. I'll admit, I didn't think I'd actually make it this far. With so many people who could have made it, I'm definitely lucky to be one of them. Huzzah!

 **Amelie:** I don't want to say I think I _will_ win, but I think I could. Maybe. Vardaman kept hyping Genesis up as the strongest one other than him, but she's still pretty skinny. And Warwick... no comment.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I like to think I have a pretty good shot. Anything can happen, of course. The bike race proved that when Warwick of all people won. But I'm not so worried about getting my phone wet this time. I can just buy a new one when I win.

 **Warwick:** If I can beat Vardaman of all people in a bike race, I think I can do this, too! ...Alright, so that challenge was probably a fluke, but flukes can happen more than once, right? Or does that go against the definition of "fluke"? Eh, not important!

 **Amelie:** I was never really close with Genesis or Warwick. I guess I've been aligned with both of them at some point, but I never got as close with them as I did with Ephraim, Mondo, or Stormy~. If one of them wins, though, I'd still be happy for them.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ These two were a part of my ideal final three ever since I found out Isidora threw me under the bus. They are weak physically, and they were easy to manipulate into voting for my targets: Isidora and Vardaman. If I win, I'll have to thank them for helping me get this far.

 **Warwick:** Like I said before, I never expected to see either of them in the final three. I figured Genesis would get voted off for her sneakiness by now, and Amelie was kind of a mess at the start of the game. I suppose, if nothing else, they've worked to make it this far.

 **Amelie:** Who would have been my dream final three? Well, I think Stormy~ should definitely still be here. Um... I hesitate to choose Ephraim or Mondo since they'd win pretty easily. Maybe Bijou? She and Stormy~ were friends. Maybe I could have befriended her too if she hadn't left so soon.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ In an ideal world, Naomi would still be here and in the finale alongside me. Also, I'd probably let Isidora in the finale. She'd be easy to beat, and if Naomi was still here, I'd hold the power in the final four instead of her anyway, so letting her that far would still be safe.

 **Warwick:** Well, Isidora should still be here, for starters. I still think it's dumb that she got voted out over a huge challenge threat. Besides her... I suppose I'm fine with Amelie being here. She and I got along, and I think I have a chance at beating her. The hand I've been dealt actually suits me just fine.

 **Amelie:** Overall, I'm really glad I played this game. I feel a lot better about myself and about others. I'm definitely going to keep in touch with the friends I've made out here if I can. Win or lose, I have to say I'm glad to have been a part of Total Drama.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ It's been my dream to be on Total Drama ever since the very first season, so the fact that not only am I a part of it but that I might actually win? Eight-year-old me would be freaking out right now. I'm definitely going to look back on this game fondly.

 **Warwick:** I came into this game hoping I could win the money so I could break off from my family and be able to support myself. Going in, I wanted to become a king, but now... I definitely want to _do_ something with the money, I'm just not sure what. Whatever happens today, though, I'm glad I played this game.

* * *

The final three campers all ate dinner in the mess hall when Chris and Lindsay entered.

"Good morning, final three!" Chris greeted. "Are you guys ready for your final challenge?"

The three campers all looked awkwardly at their half-finished meals and then back to Chris.

"Well, the challenge is ready, and we're not going to wait around," Chris said flatly.

"We?" Genesis texted.

"Yeah! There are some special visitors waiting outside for you guys," Lindsay winked.

"Everyone who got voted off, I bet," Warwick smiled.

"We should go see them," Amelie smiled cheerily.

* * *

The campers got up and exited the mess hall. Sure enough, three bleachers had been set up at the campground. Each bleacher was fully painted - one blue, one red, and one green.

On the blue bleachers sat Dalit, Ephraim, Lester, Mondo, Quentin, Stormy~, Tori, and Xingrong.

On the red bleachers sat Cordelia, Fauna, Hugh, Jasper, Kelsey, Naomi, Osric, and Phoenix.

On the green bleachers sat Bijou, Isidora, Ronoc, Ursula, Vardaman, Yolonda, and Zarardo.

The full moon shone over the island, and torches placed by the bleachers illuminated the campground even more. As the final three exited the mess hall, the eliminated campers broke into cheers and applause. Amelie blushed, Genesis wore a pleased smile, Warwick appeared confused.

"Happy to see everyone again?" Chris asked.

"I'm more surprised that I got as many supporters as I did," Amelie admitted.

"Same," Warwick agreed.

"I'm more surprised by who some of my supporters are," Genesis texted.

"Same," Warwick agreed.

"Here's how the final challenge will work," Chris explained. "Dotted throughout the island are several challenge stations. After the merge officially started, or, in the case of those who left at the merge, after being voted off, the losers were asked to come up with a short challenge, something that could feasibly be completed in a couple minutes. Your challenge is to visit all twenty-three of those stations and complete these challenges. We have several unbiased interns at these stations to make sure you complete the challenge in a satisfactory way."

"These challenges could be easy or hard depending on your skills," Lindsay added.

"Oh, and these can't just be completed in any order, either. This isn't Total Drama Alpha Party for nothing," Chris continued. "You will start with Bijou's challenge, then do Cordelia's, then Dalit's, and so on until you end with Zarardo's." Chris took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button. Three beams of light - one blue, one red, one green- shone up from the washroom building. "The beams of light will help guide you to your next task. That way you don't get lost. In case it wasn't obvious by who's in the colored bleachers, the blue light is where Amelie needs to go next, the red light shows where Genesis's next challenge is, and the green light will lead the way for Warwick. Once Zarardo's task is complete, head back to the campground and tag the totem pole. The first camper to do so will be the winner of Total Drama Alpha Party!"

"Oh! And just to make sure things go smoothly!" Lindsay recalled. She held up nine shiny, purple-and-gold tickets and handed three to each camper. "You will each be given three Free Passes. If you're having trouble with a challenge, or don't think you can do it, you can give one of these to the intern running the challenge and move on to the next challenge! But you only get three Free Passes, and there are twenty-three challenges, so use them wisely, 'kay?"

"Any questions?" Chris asked.

"Yes, why is Bijou's challenge in the washrooms?" Warwick inquired.

"It will make sense once you hear the challenge," Bijou huffed.

"Anything else?" Chris asked.

Genesis held up her index finger, walked up to Naomi, and handed the roller girl her phone.

"I shall guard it with my life," Naomi said as she saluted with the hand she used to hold the phone. "Ow!"

"Anything else?" Chris asked, slightly annoyed.

Silence.

"Alrighty!" Chris said as he clapped his hands together. "The final challenge starts in three... two... GO!"

The three campers all dashed towards the washrooms.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** This actually sounds doable. Twenty-three mini challenges seems a lot easier than one big scary challenge. Though it might be easier for the others, too. I guess it depends on what we have to do.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I'm actually a bit worried that this might put the three of us on an equal footing. I was kind of banking on the other two being weaker than I am. Eh, I can still do this.

 **Warwick:** Unlike last season, the number of people on your side doesn't really seem to matter much, although since we have as equal a number of supporters as possible, I guess it wouldn't matter either way. Guess I'd better make my supporters proud!

* * *

The three campers all entered the washroom building. An intern stationed there turned on a monitor beside him, Bijou appeared on the monitor.

"My challenge is as follows," Bijou began. "You may notice the racks full of clothing beside the intern stationed here. You are to use these to change into a fashionable and functional outfit. Once the intern has okayed your outfit, you may move on to the next challenge. Oh, and you must wear the outfit for the entirety of the challenge. Keep this in mind."

The campers all took notice of the racks of clothing beside the intern. They all rushed towards the racks and began to leaf through them, choosing things along the way. All three of them entered a bathroom stall at about the same time to change.

Genesis emerged first, wearing a dark red cocktail dress and black gladiator sandals. The intern looked her over and shook his head. Genesis winced as she went back to the racks.

Warwick left his stall next, dressed in a cobalt gray tuxedo with black shoes and a periwinkle tie. The intern looked him over and nodded his head.

"Yes!" Warwick cheered as he left the washrooms.

Amelie exited her stall wearing a low-cut pink blouse, white skirt, black knee-high socks, and red Mary Jane shoes. The intern looked pleasantly surprised and nodded his head. Amelie turned pink as she left the washrooms.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** I've had to dress up a lot in my day. We actually have a dedicated fashion advisor who dictates what we wear at fancy parties. I just chose what I figured she would have chosen.

 **Amelie:** Heehee... I feel pretty.

* * *

Amelie and Warwick made it to the girls' cabin, the location of the next challenge. There were two monitors and interns there. One of the monitors turned on to show Cordelia.

"Hey guys," Cordelia said half-heartedly. "I really don't want to do this... Whoever wins this game will probably be someone who abandoned their friends to get here. Friendship just holds no value in this game anymore. That's why my challenge is to say something nice about your opponents. Genuinely nice."

"Oh, is that all?" Warwick asked. "Well, Amelie's quite the sweet and understanding friend. And Genesis... er..."

"Genesis is very smart," Amelie smiled. "And Warwick has matured quite a lot. I'm proud of both of them."

The intern pointed to Amelie and nodded.

"Genesis is smart!" Warwick blurted.

The intern shook his head.

"Eh, it was worth a shot," Warwick said.

Genesis arrived in the cabin wearing a yellow sundress and grey-colored booties. The intern replayed the Cordelia clip for Genesis. Genesis reached for where her pockets would be, only to find that her phone was not there. She facepalmed as she reached into her shoe, took one of the Free Passes, and handed it to the intern, who nodded his head in response. Genesis rolled her eyes as she left the cabin.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Somehow it never occurred to me that some of these challenges might require verbal communication. I was going to save my Free Passes for the last three challenges, but if any more of them need me to communicate something, I may have to use them there. Without any pockets in this dress, there's no point in asking Naomi for my phone back. It's hard enough carrying the Free Passes in my shoe.

* * *

"So yeah, that's how I granted a dying cancer patient her last wish with a flaming scythe and a drag queen with a split personality," Lester concluded a story to Quentin, Stormy~, and Xingrong as the four sat on Amelie's bleachers.

"Whoa," Quentin said in genuine awe.

"You're so cool, Lester Bear!" Stormy~ gushed.

"Feh. T'would be more impressive if it didn't happen in a fictitious game," Xingrong scoffed.

"Whoa, who said anything about a game?" Lester asked defensively.

"Please," Xingrong smirked. "Video games are the only things of which you speak. Besides, if you truly were to come face-to-face with the risen dead, you would not live to tell the tale! I should know because I have seen mere mortals such as yourself die in similar situations!"

"Well, I believe him," Stormy~ said as she hugged her boyfriend.

"Now that you mention it..." Quentin pondered. "If she had cancer, how was she able to outrun zombies alongside you? Wouldn't she be too sick?"

"Ha! You see?!" Xingrong boasted.

"I don't know how cancer works," Lester shrugged.

"Neither do I," Quentin admitted. "Okay, never mind. I believe you."

" _Ego circumventus ab idiotis_ ," Xingrong grumbled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Lester:** Eh, Xingrong's just jealous because he's probably awful at video games. At least his sandwiches are good. Maybe he really was blessed by the gods in that regard. _(He chortles.)_

 **Quentin:** The boys and I are here to support Stormy~'s friend. None of us really got to know any of the finalists all that well, but Amelie's cool, so I'm down with cheering for her.

 **Stormy~:** I've been rooting for Amelie ever since I got eliminated the first time! I'm super happy I get to support her in the finale! Goooooooooooo Amelie!

 **Xingrong:** I could not possibly care less about who wins or loses this game. But I was forced to choose a side to take, and I certainly wasn't going to choose the ones who cut my divine mission short.

* * *

Amelie and Genesis arrived at the amphitheater, which housed two monitors and three interns. One of the monitors turned on to show Dalit.

"Hmph. I don't think any of you really know what my life is like," Dalit frowned. "Do you have any idea how disgusting washing feet is? Well, you're about to find out. Your challenge is to wash an intern's feet until he's satisfied."

"Wait, that's Dalit?" Amelie asked. "I didn't recognize her on the bleachers. She's speaking English better, too."

Amelie turned to Genesis to see the mute girl already washing an intern's feet.

"Oh," Amelie said as she looked at an intern awkwardly. She took a deep breath before she knelt down to begin her task.

As the girls worked, Warwick showed up. The free intern replayed Dalit's clip.

"Huh. Usually, this works the other way around," Warwick thought aloud. "Nothing I can't do, however!"

Warwick began his task, just as Genesis's intern had decided that she was finished with hers. Genesis moved on to the next challenge.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I'm still not super comfortable with the whole "touching" thing. Touching a stranger's bare feet is something I would only do if a million dollars were at stake. And, well...

* * *

Genesis arrived at the B1 floor of the mineshaft via elevator. The entire room was well-lit and had one monitor and intern, as well as three large, round boulders. The monitor turned on to show Ephraim.

"No doubt the factor of strength will play into who makes it to the finale," Ephraim said. "So I want my challenge to be a true test of strength. Push a boulder past the white line. That is my challenge."

Genesis looked at the boulder unconfidently before shaking it off and approaching it. She began to push, moving the large rock slowly but surely.

As Genesis pushed her boulder, the elevator came back up, and then back down with both Amelie and Warwick within. The intern replayed the Ephraim clip.

"Ha! Bring it on, large rock!" Warwick boasted as he let out a loud roar and began to push. He didn't push it much faster than Genesis.

Amelie tentatively approached the boulder and tried pushing, only to see that it wouldn't budge.

"I don't think I can do this," Amelie sighed. "Sorry, Ephraim, but I think it's literally physically impossible." She pulled a Free Pass from out of her sock and handed it to the intern, who gave his okay for her to move on. She went back into the elevator and returned to the surface.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ While this is an awfully tempting challenge to use a Free Pass on, I plan to stick to my "save them for the end unless I need my voice" policy. Yeah, pushing a boulder is tiring, but if Amelie wants to blow all her passes on the hard ones early on, she'll be stuck with all the hard ones later on after she's already starting to tire.

 **Warwick:** Okay, I may have misestimated how easy it'd be to push that thing, but I finished, and that's what matters!

* * *

Back at Genesis's bleachers, Fauna looked frustrated.

"What's with you?" Phoenix asked her.

"Why are we the only POC supporting Genesis?" Fauna asked.

"Are we?" Phoenix asked as he looked at the rest of Genesis's supporters, who, sure enough, were all white. "I honestly hadn't noticed."

"Maybe not everything is a race issue, artard," Hugh sneered.

"Alright, who the actual hell asked you?" Fauna glowered.

"Why does it matter?" Naomi asked.

"A disabled woman of color might win this game. It's our duty to cheer her on!" Fauna explained.

"Amelie's a disabled woman of color," Hugh snickered. "She's got POC supporting her."

"She's disabled?" Naomi asked curiously.

"No, I think he's just being a little snot," Phoenix explained.

"Yeah, didn't you low-key have a crush on Amelie?" Naomi inquired.

"Tch. No!" Hugh scowled. "Besides, Genesis actually played a decent game. Amelie just drifted under the radar."

"I have to agree with him there," Phoenix conceded.

"Didn't you low-key have a crush on Genesis?" Naomi inquired.

"What? No! Who- Who told you that?" Phoenix stammered.

Naomi giggled. Fauna rolled her eyes.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Fauna:** This season could be salvageable so long as Warwick doesn't win. The reason I'm rooting for Genesis over Amelie is because Genesis was my ally. I respect her decision to vote out Osric for the sake of the POC.

 **Hugh:** Amelie and Warwick were cowards who relied too much on their allies to get ahead. Genesis wasn't afraid to get down and dirty, and I like that. Maybe she'd like to get down and dirty with me sometime, eh?

 **Naomi:** Gotta admit, I was kind of scared for Genesis after I got voted off. I figured the rest of the Boldface would throw her under the bus once the merge started. Maybe they did! Who cares! Genesis is in the finale!

 **Phoenix:** I do not have any sort of crush on Genesis. I simply respect her as a player of the game. I mean, yeah, she's cute, but that doesn't mean I have a crush on her. I don't develop feelings for every smart, attractive girl who challenges me to do better and... likes Total Drama... like I do. ...That'd just be petty.

* * *

Amelie entered the mess hall, which had been equipped with three monitors and interns. One monitor turned on to showcase Fauna.

"They say white people can't handle spicy food," Fauna said. "That's probably true, but I guess there's only one way to find out. My challenge is to eat a plate of spicy curry. I'm talking Thai hot."

"Well, at least we'll be able to eat after our dinner was cut short," Amelie said as she sat down in front of a plate of curry. She tentatively picked up a fork and took a bite. Her eyes immediately went big and began to water. She forced herself to swallow. "Do I get milk?" she asked the intern in charge of the challenge.

"You'll have to get it yourself," the intern answered. "Which could leave time for the others to catch up."

"Um..." Amelie made a dash for the kitchen, grabbed a gallon of milk from the fridge, and took a sip directly out of it. "That should stop the others from using it... right?"

Warwick entered the mess hall. After he heard Fauna's message, he sat down before a plate of curry.

"Heh. Doesn't she remember the gross food challenge?" Warwick bragged. "I have a stomach of steel."

"Didn't you guys lose that one?" Amelie asked.

"I can't recall," Warwick lied as he began to eat the curry. He went at a much faster rate than Amelie.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Why was Fauna even allowed to have a challenge? She quit. A most shameful way to lose the game. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to turn down free curry, but still.

 **Amelie:** ...Okay, I feel awful! I drank right out of the carton just so the others couldn't drink it! That's such a dirty move! I'm the worst!

* * *

Genesis finally arrived at the mess hall just as Warwick had finished his curry and earned the intern's okay to move on. Warwick drank directly out of Amelie's milk carton before leaving. Genesis looked annoyed, but listened to Fauna's recording anyway and began to eat.

Warwick made his way to the swampy part of the island, where one monitor and intern were stationed. The intern switched on the monitor, which played Hugh's recording.

"I was eliminated because I couldn't catch a freaking frog," Hugh grumbled. "That's retarded. What a stupid way to go. Which is why I'm going to mess with whoever makes it this far. Your challenge is to catch a frog. Heh."

"Greeeeaaaaaat," Warwick moaned. "Don't suppose I get any tools or bait or anything?"

The intern shook his head.

"Typical Hugh," Warwick grumbled.

Back at the mess hall, Amelie and Genesis continued to eat their curry. Both were almost finished. The carton of milk was empty.

"This is tougher than I thought it'd be," Amelie commented.

Genesis focused on her curry.

"You can't talk... right..." Amelie remembered.

Genesis finished her curry. The intern gave her the okay to leave.

Amelie, noticing that she was in last place, shoveled the rest of her curry into her mouth. Tears ran down her face, but she opened her mouth to the intern to show that she had swallowed it all. He gave her the thumbs-up as well.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Whether I win or lose this game, I had fun. It's about the journey, not the destination. ...But I'll be damned if I lose this game to Warwick, do you understand me?

* * *

"So," Ronoc said to Isidora from Warwick's bleachers. "Did you expect Warwick of all people to make the finale?"

"By the time I got voted out, I would have been surprised if he hadn't," Isidora answered.

"But what about at the start of the game?" Ronoc asked.

"Alright, I'll bite," Zarardo sighed. "How does this connect to the author?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Ronoc said as he took a puff of his cigar.

"Still smoking cigars, huh?" Vardaman asked.

"That's something about you that I definitely didn't miss," Isidora remarked to Ronoc.

"Love you too," Ronoc smirked. "Heh. Look at us. All allies of Warwick's. Who would have thought?"

"You and I only allied with him because you said 'the author willed it'," Isidora pointed out.

"And look at the emotional roller coaster that ensued," Ronoc boasted.

"Kindly go away," Zarardo told Ronoc.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Isidora:** The fact that Warwick stuck with me and didn't vote me out, despite me hurting him, and despite him having the perfect opportunity to turn on me... That really meant something to me. That's how I know he's a real friend, you know?

 **Ronoc:** Look, all I'm saying is that the author is a brilliant son of a bitch who's woven one of the most masterful and perfect pieces of literature in known human history. I don't think that's a stretch to say.

 **Vardaman:** Yeah, all three of the finalists kind of screwed me over. I get why. But I feel the least betrayed by Warwick. I don't know, I think I'm still kind of hurt from how yesterday went down. It just didn't feel right to me to support Amelie or Genesis tonight.

 **Zarardo:** _(He is playing with his Fushigi ball.)_ I cannot respect the game that Amelie or Genesis have played. Voting off valuable allies for the pettiest of reasons... It's cowardly, is what it is. Warwick, for better or worse, stayed true to his loyalties and still made it to the end. I respect that.

* * *

By this point, Amelie and Genesis had arrived at the swamp and began searching for frogs as well.

"Here froggy froggy froggy..." Amelie coaxed as she approached a frog. The frog did not jump away, so she continued towards it. The frog did not seem to notice her. She tiptoed right next to it. The frog turned around and looked at her, but did not flee. "I'm sorry about this," Amelie said as she bent down and grabbed it with both hands. "Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew!" Amelie ran up to the intern in charge of the challenge and showed him the frog. The frog hopped away as soon as Amelie opened her hands, but the intern gave her the okay to move on.

"Aw come on!" Warwick groaned as he gave chase to a frog, which expertly hopped away from him.

Genesis, meanwhile, snuck up behind an unsuspecting frog which had its back turned against her. She pounced on it and grabbed it with her hands, successfully capturing the creature. She ran up to the intern and presented the frog to him. The frog fled from her hands, but the intern gave her the go-ahead.

"Give me a break!" Warwick cried. He walked up to the intern and handed him a Free Pass. The intern nodded, prompting Warwick to move on. Warwick ran as quickly as he could towards the beacons of light.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** I showed up before the girls did and they still beat me. I figured I would have been there all day if I didn't just play my Free Pass. I'm here to win, not spend all night trying to catch a stinking frog!

* * *

Amelie, Genesis, and Warwick all arrived at the Dock of Shame in quick succession. The intern there turned on the monitor, revealing Isidora's video.

"The physical challenges were definitely some of the hardest parts of this game for me," Isidora explained. "By far the hardest challenge for me was the diving challenge early in the game. It won't be as difficult for you as it was for me, but I digress. There are three golden coins at the seafloor. Your challenge is to bring one to the intern."

"Don't we get to change into our swimsuits?" Warwick asked the intern, who shook her head in response but handed each of the campers swimming goggles.

"Bijou said we had to keep our outfits on for the whole challenge," Amelie remembered as she and the others put their goggles on. "Aw. I hate wet socks."

Genesis cracked her neck in both directions before diving into the water. Amelie and Warwick tentatively followed suit. After several seconds, the three all surfaced, but only Amelie held a gold coin in her hand. She swam back to the Dock and presented it to the intern, who let her continue. Amelie ran off towards the new beacon.

Genesis and Warwick went back underwater. After a couple seconds, Genesis reemerged with a coin of her own, followed by Warwick who had a coin of his own as well. They presented their coins to the intern, who let them move on as well.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I've actually done a decent job getting into the lead. I-I might actually do this!

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ The challenge is turning out to be fairly even in terms of who's doing well and who's falling behind. I guess I'll have to take full advantage of the times where I'm doing well.

* * *

Back at Amelie's bleachers, Dalit had snuggled up close to Ephraim.

"I'm still confused by their relationship," Tori whispered to Mondo as the two glanced at the slave and bouncer.

"He's told me that he's conflicted," Mondo explained. "He does like her, and does want to help her, but isn't sure if he'd be able to."

"I can tell she likes him more than he does," Tori noted.

"That's probably true," Mondo said. "Can't say I blame either one of them on that. I'll be honest, I'm still kind of confused by their whole thing, too."

"You know I can hear you, right?" Ephraim asked the two.

"What is it, sweetie?" Dalit asked curiously.

"They're gossipping about us," Ephraim explained bluntly.

"Hey! Mind your own business!" Dalit snapped at the two.

"They're not saying anything bad about us," Ephraim assured her. "Just gossiping."

"I certainly can't judge anyone for being in an odd couple," Tori giggled.

"Ephraim is going to save me," Dalit pouted. "You should be nice to him."

"We're not being mean to him," Mondo said.

"Honestly, you two should mind your own business," Ephraim leered.

"You two make a lovely couple," Tori complimented.

"Thank you," Dalit said with a glowing smile.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dalit:** Bijou and Ephraim live in the same province, but neither are sure if their parents would be okay with taking me in. Well, why not?! What's wrong with me? _(She huffs.)_

 **Ephraim:** I'll admit, I wasn't sure about Dalit at first, but she can actually be really sweet if you get to know her. Well, she's sweet to me, at least. I just hope she can get a foothold in Canada. Slavery... does not sound fun.

 **Mondo:** It's kind of awkward being surrounded by so many couples on these bleachers, not going to lie. I guess I could talk to Xingrong, but... yeah, no.

 **Tori:** Amelie and I didn't get along amazingly during the game, but I respect her ability to make it to the end despite her shortcomings. Perhaps physical strength isn't the only kind of strength you can rely on to overcome hardship.

* * *

The three campers all made it to the top of Mt. Looming Disaster, where an intern awaited with three knives. The intern switched on Jasper's video.

"Everyone in this game is so obsessed with 'friendship' and 'goodness'," Jasper said disdainfully. "It's obnoxious. That's not what real life is. Real life has crime, violence, hatred. As a reminder of this, my challenge is to cause yourself to draw blood."

"That's horrible!" Amelie cried.

"Isn't this the guy who faked being gay? Are you really surprised?" Warwick asked.

"I didn't think he was so violent," Amelie shuddered.

As the two spoke, Genesis took a knife from the intern and made a small cut on her collarbone.

"Eep!" Amelie gasped as her face turned pale white.

The intern handed Genesis a bandage as the red beacon shone elsewhere. Genesis applied the bandage before leaving the mountain.

Amelie and Warwick each took a knife from the intern. Warwick hesitantly dragged the tip of the blade across his cheek. Amelie's face grew paler still as she watched the rich boy bleed out.

"I can't do this!" Amelie cried as she handed a Free Pass to the intern.

The intern accepted the pass as he gave Warwick a bandage. The blue and green beacons moved next to the red beacon. Amelie and Warwick each made their descent down the mountain.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** What kind of life has Jasper lived to leave him so twisted in the head? Is he an actual sociopath? I don't want to think about it. He scares me, even still.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I figure the collarbone is the part of my body I'm least likely to use in this challenge, so that's the one which would probably be the safest to harm. Also, thank goodness that challenge took place after the one where we had to dive in the saltwater. _(She winces.)_

* * *

Genesis arrived at the mess hall, where a second intern played a video off of a second monitor - this time it was Kelsey's.

"Just because we're out of school doesn't mean we shouldn't be thinking about the fundamentals," Kelsey said. "Write a short essay on why you think you should win. About three paragraphs long."

The intern present gestured to the papers and pencils on one of the mess hall tables. Genesis nodded in understanding and sat down to begin her essay.

After a couple minutes, Amelie and Warwick both arrived at the mess hall. The intern replayed the video for them and showed them to the pencils and papers as well. They sat down and began their essays as well. Just as they sat down, Genesis stood back up and presented her essay to the intern. He read the paper over, and, after finishing, gave Genesis permission to move on.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** An essay? How horribly typical of someone like Kelsey. I have not forgotten her boasts to me before the game started! And now here I am and she's at... what? Twentieth place? She left so long ago I don't even remember.

* * *

"You've been oddly quiet all night," Jasper noted to Cordelia from Genesis's bleachers.

"What do you care?" Cordelia asked.

"I don't know. I'm bored and just trying to make conversation," Jasper said. "We kind of got along in the game, right?"

"You voted me out," Cordelia pointed out bitterly.

"And I still stand by my decision," Jasper said.

Cordelia's eyes went vacuous.

"Genesis voted me out. I still support her and still consider her a friend," Osric pointed out.

"Not everyone wants to be a goody-two-shoes," Jasper scowled.

"What's your damage?" Kelsey asked with an amused scoff.

"Yeah, it's just a game," Osric pointed out.

"You got voted out because you allied with a backstabber," Jasper said to Osric. "You got voted out because you injured yourself," Jasper said to Kelsey. "You got voted out because you got on people's nerves," Jasper said to Cordelia. "I got voted out for reasons entirely beyond my control. That's bullshit."

"You could have just not pretended to be gay..." Cordelia said vacuously.

"She's got a point," Osric agreed.

"Also, everything you just listed about us was also beyond our control," Kelsey pointed out. "He didn't know Genesis was a backstabber, I wasn't _trying_ to get injured, and Cordelia, er, her idealism kept her from realizing how negative others could be."

"Well said," Osric told her.

"Tch," Jasper scowled as he turned away from the others.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Cordelia:** Genesis agreed to be my friend very early on in the game. We never got to talk much due to being on different teams, but I'm friends with Naomi, who's friends with Genesis, so I figure Genesis can't be as bad as everyone says.

 **Jasper:** Can't I have one thing go my way tonight? I guess if Genesis won, maybe. I respect her decision to play sneaky. Apparently, that's a horrible crime in this game.

 **Kelsey:** Cordelia and Jasper are both spoiled children. I guess that makes for good TV, but good lord, actually being around them is so tiring.

 **Osric:** I accepted my loss a long time ago. Technically I only got two votes against me, so it's not like the majority wanted me out. I just misplaced my trust a bit. Happens to everyone in this game, you know? No need to get bitter.

* * *

Genesis arrived at the boys' cabin, which housed two interns and monitors. One intern turned on Lester's video.

"Video games have come a long way since the 80s," Lester said. "But it's important to recognize the games that laid the groundwork, you know? The games that shaped the medium so it could become what it is today. My challenge is to beat the first level of Super Mario Bros. Couldn't be simpler."

Genesis sat down in front of one of the three TVs which had been placed in the cabin and took the controller. With a confident smirk, she began playing the game, expertly dodging the enemies and jumping over the bottomless pits. It wasn't long before she maneuvered Mario onto the flagpole, clearing the level. The intern gave her the okay, and she left the cabin, just passing Warwick as he entered the cabin.

"Tell me this is an easy one," Warwick said as the intern turned the video on. After hearing Lester's explanation, he sat down and began to play.

"Haven't touched this one before, but I've played the newer ones," Warwick thought aloud. "Surely this can't be any harder."

It wasn't long before Warwick accidentally led Mario into a pit.

"The momentum in this game is dumb!" Warwick objected.

Amelie entered the cabin and took notice of Warwick. She glanced at the monitor as the intern replayed the video once again.

"I'm not much of a gamer, but this game is famous for a reason, right?" Amelie figured as she sat down and took a controller of her own. "Maybe because it's really accessible?"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I've played that game before but never beaten it. Thankfully, the first level is a cakewalk. I owe Lester a subscription for giving me such an easy challenge.

* * *

Genesis arrived at the beach to find an intern and monitor next to a large football goalpost. The intern started Mondo's video.

"It might have been easy to forget with how much I strategized, but I'm also a big football fan," Mondo said. "My challenge is a staple of football that can turn the tide of a game: the Point After Touchdown. Kick a football through the uprights."

The intern pointed Genesis to an area several yards behind her, where three footballs were lined up. She winced but nonetheless made her way over to the footballs. With a running start, she punted her designated football towards the goalpost, but it fell short. With an annoyed expression, she ran up to her football and put it back on its stand so she could try again. Kicking harder this time, Genesis launched the football, only for it to bounce off of the goalpost itself. Genesis grew increasingly frustrated as she went after her ball again.

Warwick arrived at the beach. After watching the video, he went back to his football, took a running start, and charged at the ball.

"Fooooooooooooooore!" Warwick cried as he kicked the ball straight through the goalpost.

Genesis shot Warwick an annoyed glance as she carried her ball back to the kicking line. She kicked her ball again, only for it to fall short once again.

Amelie arrived at the challenge. After watching the video, she made her way to her first kick, which fell very short.

"Oh," Amelie said dejectedly.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I have short legs. And no muscle. ...I might be here a while. I don't want to use my last Free Pass because we still have half of the challenge left and I might run into something I physically or mentally cannot do.

 **Warwick:** Wow, I, uh... I did not expect to pull that off in my first try. I'm certainly not complaining, but... wow, is my training paying off that quickly?

* * *

"Still wearing those gloves, I see," Bijou pointed out to Ursula from Warwick's bleachers.

"Still a judgmental snob, I see," Ursula grinned in return.

"All I'm saying is that people will be more likely to take you seriously if you take yourself seriously," Bijou stated.

"Is that why you're on Team Warwick?" Yolonda said with an amused scoff.

"Yes, actually," Bijou confirmed. "Though he may have been loud and boorish - or so Xingrong told me, which really is the pot calling the kettle black - Warwick always dressed well. His outfit in this challenge is no exception either."

"In fact, why are _you_ on Team Warwick?" Ursula asked Yolonda. "I can't remember you saying anything nice about him."

"Mostly to spite Xingrong," Yolonda snickered. "That'll teach him to use up all the bread every single day... God, I want to wring his neck sometimes."

"Whoa, whoa, I'm all for a good neck-wringing, but I'm not sure now is the time," Ursula responded.

"This is the first time I've had fresh air in weeks," Yolonda bemoaned.

"Hi, person who went home before you did, speaking," Bijou reminded her.

"Hi, person with claustrophobia, speaking," Yolonda retorted bitterly.

"I'm on Team Warwick because I think him winning would be funny," Ursula piped up. "Just... You know, just in case anyone was... was curious..." She glanced back and forth at the other two girls, who glared at each other angrily.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bijou:** I spent so much time underground, it was easy for me to forget that the people above ground were playing an active, involved game of strategy and such. When your only company is Dalit and Lester, you aren't wanting for things to stay interesting... for better or worse.

 **Ursula:** How am I of all people the least confrontational one in that situation? Ah, now I kind of wish I'd supported Genesis... Okay, I can't say that out loud without leaving a weird taste in my mouth. I'm still not completely over that, even if Osric is.

 **Yolonda:** I've really grown to loathe this game over the course of the last couple years. Back in House Party, I got my heart played with, and my Uncle Clay got arrested. This season, where I could win the money to possibly get my uncle out of prison, I get eliminated early and unceremoniously in the most unpredictable way possible. Ugh. Just somebody win already so I can go home.

* * *

Warwick found his next monitor in the forest, just by the path to the thousand-foot cliff. As the intern switched the pre-recorded video on, Naomi appeared on the screen.

"Okay, I have to tell you, roller skates are, like, the freaking cooliest!" Naomi raved. "Although, figuring out how to not crash when wearing them was kind of a challenge... Ooh! Idea! Your challenge should be... oh, shoot, what's the word? It's on the tip of my tongue... I've got nothing. I'll probably remember by the time the finale happens!"

"Slalom," the intern clarified. "Slalom through the forest wearing roller skates."

"Oh geez," Warwick sighed. He put on the roller skates provided for him. He looked down at the sloped ground to find flag gates, the closest of which flashed green. With a determined look in his eye, he began his slalom, making it through the first gate. This caused the next gate to begin flashing green, alerting him to go through it. He made it through, lighting another gate, which he missed, causing him to crash into a tree.

"Ow," Warwick said simply.

Genesis ran past him and up to the intern. She smiled as she watched Naomi's video, and, after the video ended, put on the roller skates provided for her. The first gate flashed green and red, alerting Genesis and Warwick of where to start. Genesis began her descent, whizzing past Warwick as he tried to make his way back to the beginning, causing him to fall over.

"Hey! Watch it!" Warwick objected.

Genesis smirked as she made her way through the next gate, and the next gate, and the gate after that. Before long, she made it through the course on her first try. The intern stationed at the end of the course gave her the thumbs-up to move on.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Rollerskates and anyone who enjoys them are all whelps. This is what I have learned from playing the game alongside Naomi!

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I managed to pick up a thing or two watching Naomi try and fail to rollerskate around the place. Didn't think I'd pull it off on my first try, but I'm certainly not complaining, either.

* * *

Amelie arrived at Naomi's challenge. After watching the video, she hesitantly put the roller skates on and looked at the blue-and-green flashing gate before her.

"It's not as easy as Genesis made it look," Warwick told her as he arrived back at the start.

"It already doesn't look easy," Amelie gulped.

"For what it's worth, this is my fifth attempt at this challenge," Warwick told her.

"That doesn't exactly boost my confidence," Amelie frowned.

Warwick sped off through the gates once again, this time barely missing the second gate.

"Okay... here goes nothing," Amelie said with a deep breath as she took off. She made it through the first gate successfully, then the second, then the third, then she crashed before reaching the fourth. "Ow," she frowned.

Genesis, meanwhile, arrived back at the girls' cabin. The second intern played a video, this time Osric's.

"Everyone has those things that make them... tick," Osric said. "The things the very thought of which get them all hot and bothered. You know what I'm talking about. Your challenge is to admit to one of your fetishes."

Genesis handed one of her Free Passes to the intern, who nodded at her to indicate that she could move on. Genesis left the cabin.

"I'm still not sure why this is an acceptable question, but asking how many kids they want is," Osric's intern mentioned to Cordelia's intern.

"Maybe because a teenager is the one asking, not an adult?" Cordelia's intern shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not getting paid to question things."

"We're not getting paid at all," Osric's intern pointed out.

"...What the hell have I been doing all summer?" Cordelia's intern asked, slightly shaken.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I've been running back and forth across the island for a while now. Do I really have to do even more physical activity? _(She takes a deep breath.)_ You can do this, Amelie. You didn't make it this far to complain.

* * *

"Who do you think is going to win?" Quentin asked Tori curiously from Amelie's bleachers as they watched the live camera feeds on a monitor set in front of them.

"It's hard to say," Tori answered. "All three have shown strength and weakness in different challenges."

"Amelie should win," Dalit pointed out. "The other two take advantage of people. I can't agree with that."

"Well yeah, we all think she should win," Quentin agreed. "I was wondering what Tori thought of her chances at winning, though."

"Might be easier to figure out when we get closer to the end of the challenge," Ephraim reasoned.

"Amelie will win. Or else," Dalit glowered.

"Or else what?" Tori asked with an amused smirk.

"I will get very angry," Dalit answered.

"Please don't attack anybody," Ephraim requested calmly.

"I won't," Dalit insisted.

"Hey, Tori, do you think you could beat Ephraim in a fight?" Quentin wondered.

"It's possible," Tori shrugged. "Neither of us really care to test it, however."

"Ha! Please!" Dalit scoffed. "Ephraim could beat up Tori any day!"

"I have trouble believing that," Quentin chuckled. "No offense, Ephraim, but Tori is the strongest woman in the world. That's some tough competition."

"Ephraim could beat anyone up!" Dalit insisted.

"I'd rather not," Ephraim pointed out.

"Prove my honor!" Dalit whined to her boyfriend.

"For the record, Dalit would probably have you beaten in a fight, Quentin," Tori said.

"Well... I mean... yeah, probably," Quentin admitted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Dalit:** I'm getting impatient. Amelie needs to win already so I can go home with Bijou or Ephraim! I want to sleep in a real bed! And eat real food! Oh man, I can't wait!

 **Ephraim:** I think my relationship with Dalit could help us both grow. I help her become less violent, and she helps me be more emotionally open. I guess we're both still working on it, but... I'm actually pretty optimistic about all this. _(He smiles warmly.)_

 **Quentin:** I know Tori can take care of herself. That's what I find so cool about her. But that comment from before... I can't help but think she sees me as weak. This shouldn't bother me. Must be my innate masculine ego or something. I dunno.

 **Tori:** I'm a very blunt and honest person. Quentin knew this when he asked me to be his girlfriend, surely. He sees past all my faults... that's what makes him so amazing. Another thing that makes him so amazing is good of a sport he is about everything. I can say things like "Dalit could definitely beat you in a fight" and he'd be fine with it. What a man.

* * *

Amelie arrived at the girls' cabin, where Osric's intern played the video once again.

"Wh-Wh-What?" Amelie asked, her eyes wide. She took a deep breath. "I need to save my last Free Pass for something I physically cannot do. ...Oh geez." Amelie paced back and forth a bit.

Warwick trudged into the cabin, battered and bruised.

"I am never roller skating ever again," Warwick groaned.

Osric's intern played the video for the third time.

"Oh, thank goodness we have an easy one," Warwick said with a sigh of relief. "I have a mommy kink!"

"Ah!" Amelie gasped in surprise.

Osric's intern gave Warwick the go-ahead to move on.

"Oh boy... I can't fall behind any more," Amelie told herself. She swallowed the lump in her throat before muttering something inaudibly.

"Can't hear you," Osric's intern told her.

"I want to dominate someone!" Amelie shouted, her face bright red.

"'Kay, you're good," Osric's intern said quickly, making a shooing hand motion at her.

Amelie dashed out of the cabin.

"I feel your pain of not getting paid," Osric's intern told Cordelia's intern.

"I heard her too. I wasn't any more comfortable with it. Or Warwick for that matter," Cordelia's intern remarked. "Why do I have to stay here? Everyone finished what's-her-face's challenge."

"Yeah, maybe Chris isn't as cured as he likes to say he is," Osric's intern grumbled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I really hope I win this so I'm not just remembered as "the shy girl who wants to dominate someone". _(She whimpers.)_

 **Warwick:** I may not be Osric levels of open when it comes to the things I'm into, but I don't really care if people know, either. Not like any of them are going to find out firsthand... heh...

* * *

Amelie and Warwick arrived at the mess hall, where they saw Genesis sat at one of the tables with a pencil and paper.

"Didn't we just do this?" Warwick asked.

One of the interns stationed there turned on his monitor. This one displayed Phoenix's video.

"It's important to keep your mind sharp, but it's also important to remember that all those who couldn't quite make it this far are people too," Phoenix stated. "My challenge is a word search puzzle. Find the twenty-three names of the people voted out before you. The word bank will only contain the first letter of everyone's names. Remember the fallen."

"Aww, that's a nice sentiment," Amelie smiled.

"Since when is he so sentimental?" Warwick wondered.

The two sat down at the same table as Genesis as they began their puzzles. Amelie found several names rather quickly, while Warwick found them at a slower pace. Genesis looked to be having trouble.

A few minutes had passed, and the campers continued their puzzles.

"I... I think I'm done!" Amelie realized. She quickly stood up and showed her puzzle to the intern. After looking it over, the intern nodded his head in approval. "Yes!" Amelie cheered as she ran out of the mess hall.

Genesis watched Amelie leave nervously before she scanned over the word search multiple times.

"Come on, come on..." Warwick muttered as he searched through the puzzle. "There! Yes!"

Warwick presented his puzzle to the intern, who gave him the go-ahead as well.

"Yes!" Warwick cheered as he dashed out.

Genesis began to sweat as she frantically looked through the puzzle.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I. Cannot. For. The. Life. Of. Me. Find. Dalit. Now that I think about it, I'm not even sure how to spell her name. I always typed D-A-H-L-E-E-T into my phone. Have I been spelling it wrong all this time? Geez.

* * *

Back at Genesis's bleachers, Cordelia hugged her knees with a distant look on her face.

"Cordelia?" Naomi asked. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing new," Cordelia sighed. "Same old self-loathing."

Naomi slid closer to Cordelia and put her arm around her.

"Now look," Naomi said. "So you didn't make friends with everyone. So you made some people mad. That's normal, sweetie. You can't please everyone. Some people are just less inclined to get along with others. Like, well..."

Naomi glanced over at Fauna, Hugh, and Jasper.

"So, wait," Hugh said to Fauna. "You're saying that if Jasper was black, his plan to fake being gay would be alright."

"What part of that is so hard to understand?" Fauna asked exasperatedly. "Black people are put at a natural disadvantage due to the prejudices of the white man. Any plan to put himself at an advantage would be justified."

"See, now if only I was born black," Jasper quipped.

"Okay, back up!" Hugh objected. "Jasper's plan only operates on the assumption that the LGBT community is more privileged than straight people."

"You didn't have any objections to anything I said when you thought I was gay," Jasper pointed out.

"What the hell conversation have I gotten myself into...?" Hugh groaned.

"I guess I see what you mean," Cordelia told Naomi. "I don't really want to be friends with them, either. But Ephraim, though..."

"Ephraim doesn't know what kind of an awesome friend he's missing out on," Naomi smiled as she ruffled Cordelia's hair.

"Don't do that," Cordelia said flatly.

"Sorry," Naomi giggled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Cordelia:** I can't say this all lived up to my expectations. Total Drama... it's fun to watch, but playing it has just stressed me out. I'll be glad to be home when it's all over.

 **Fauna:** I don't bother myself with LGBT politics. The battle for racial equality has lasted much longer and we _still_ aren't there! One issue at a time, y'all!

 **Hugh:** You all heard that, right? How did _I_ become the least offensive person in that conversation? What's the world coming to?

 **Jasper:** Ah, I did kind of miss messing with Hugh. He makes it too much fun. He avoided me in the mines, but he can't do that nooooow~

 **Naomi:** I have a friend whose little brother has, um, similar issues to Cordelia, so I know how to talk to Cordelia without upsetting her. She can be a real sweetie when she doesn't hate you.

* * *

Amelie found her next challenge in the forest. The intern present at the scene switched Quentin's video onto the monitor.

"You know what's cool? Birds," Quentin mused. "I don't know, something about how they're able to both walk and fly - and some of them even swim - it looks so liberating. They're so carefree. ...Aw, shoot, where was I going with this? Oh! A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. So... hold a bird in your hand or hands. That's my challenge."

"A bird, huh?" Amelie asked. She noticed three boxes of birdseed set down next to the intern. "I take it we're allowed to use these?" she inquired.

The intern nodded in response.

Amelie took the box of birdseed and poured some of its contents into her hand. She cupped her hands and began to walk around.

"Here birdie birdie birdie..." Amelie coaxed.

Warwick arrived at the scene. The intern played the video for him and he instantly took one of his Free Passes and handed it to the intern, who nodded in confirmation.

"I refuse to let another animal get the best of me! Not after the frog" Warwick declared as he ran towards the next beacon.

"Come on, birdies," Amelie pleaded.

Genesis arrived, and the intern played the video once again for her sake. Genesis grabbed one of the boxes of birdseed and emptied its contents all over the ground. She hid behind a tree in wait.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I've never actually touched a bird before. I've always been kind of scared to. But, after all that I've done in this game, holding a bird seems like a welcome break.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Everyone knows birds will fly away as soon as people are anywhere near them. Amelie being around won't help me much, so I made sure to put the seed far enough away from her. Fingers crossed.

* * *

Warwick made it to the top of the thousand-foot cliff, where an intern and monitor waited, alongside three patio chairs, each with an end table and glass of water beside them. The intern turned on Ronoc's video.

"The days I live for are the days where you sit down on a sunny day with a good cigar, with good music, good drinks, and good company," Ronoc said. "Why not take a break from the challenge? I mean, technically, your challenge is to finish a cigar, but what's so challenging about that, really? I know none of you are 18, but it's a fanfic, you won't get in trouble."

The intern handed Warwick a small cigar, a cigar cutter, and a lighter.

"I've, uh, never done this before," Warwick said as he flicked the lighter on. He looked at the cutter. "What's this thing?" He messed with it a bit. "It's kind of like a guillotine." He looked at the cutter, then the cigar. "Am I supposed to cut this, or...?" he asked the intern.

And thus, the author retconned it so that Ronoc had demonstrated how to light a cigar in his video. The author would just go back and add it in without retconning it, but he didn't feel like going back and rewriting an entire scene. Oops.

Anyway, Warwick cut his cigar, lit it, and began to smoke. Ronoc's monitor turned on to show him pulling his sunglasses down, winking, and giving a thumbs-up.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** You know, I can kind of see how this might relax someone. Of course, I'm still in a race, so I need to finish this thing quickly without going too quickly and choking on it. Choking on cigar smoke not how I want to leave this world.

* * *

"What is it with you and cigars?" Isidora asked Ronoc back at Warwick's bleachers.

"They're horribly old-fashioned," Bijou added.

"They're the classy way to smoke," Ronoc insisted as he took a puff of his own cigar.

"Smoking is not classy," Bijou said disapprovingly with a shake of her head.

"Yeah, I'm with her on this," Isidora agreed.

"Et tu, Isidora?" Ronoc frowned.

"I have never liked you smoking cigars," Isidora said flatly. "This should not surprise you."

"Especially when you continued to smoke them underground," Bijou added. "So many people complained about it behind your back."

"Oh, I knew about it," Ronoc said. "I also don't care because you're all figments of the author's imagination. I mean, I am, too, but my level of consciousness has-"

"How did you put up with him for so long underground?" Isidora asked Bijou as Ronoc continued to ramble.

"How did you put up with him as an ally at all?" Bijou asked in return.

"I was desperate," Isidora answered. "I'll remind you that I have also been allied with Warwick and Xingrong in this game."

"You're a more patient woman than I," Bijou remarked.

"Which is why she lasted so much longer than you did," Ronoc said as he slid in between the two.

Bijou glared at him.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Bijou:** Maybe I'm not the most patient person in the world. But nobody's perfect. And with my impeccable fashion sense and smarts, I need _something_ to balance it out, you know? ...Hm, maybe I should take a look at my ego, too.

 **Isidora:** I have to wonder how differently things would have happened if I ended up on the Italics. Would I end up aligned with the likes of Cordelia and Hugh? Wait, no, Tori was on that team. Unless she ended up on the Boldface instead of me. Eh, I'm overthinking it.

 **Ronoc:** _(His sunglasses are broken, his eye is blackened, and his nose is bleeding.)_ I should probably stop provoking my own characters.

* * *

Amelie, Genesis, and Warwick all sat down on the patio chairs at the thousand-foot cliff, smoking cigars.

"This is actually kind of nice, just sitting down and relaxing with you guys," Amelie smiled. "You know, other than the whole 'blowing smoke out of our faces' thing."

"I'm enjoying the cigar, actually," Warwick said.

"I'm not," Amelie said as she gagged a bit.

"I may have to look into getting some good cigars once I'm old enough to smoke them legally," Warwick said.

"You can do that," Amelie said. "I'd just as well never touch one again."

"What do you think, Genesis?" Warwick asked.

Genesis rhythmically took long drags from her cigar, stopping only to blow smoke and occasionally drink water when needed.

"Either she really likes it, or she's in a hurry to beat us," Amelie winced.

"If she liked it, she'd sit down and _savor_ it," Warwick insisted.

Genesis smirked wryly at the two as she glanced at their cigars, both of which were longer than hers. The two took notice of this.

"Maybe I should hurry up," Amelie muttered. "She did show up after he and I did and she's already beating us."

"So, at what point is the cigar finished exactly?" Warwick asked the intern.

The author retconned it so that Ronoc explained that, too.

"Nevermind," Warwick said.

Genesis showed her barely-still-there cigar to the intern, who nodded at her. Genesis fist-pumped as she ran off to her next challenge, only to freeze up, hold her head, and throw up onto the ground. Amelie, Warwick, and the intern all winced.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ The taste was alright. Not something I'd seek out, but if someone offered me one, I'd go for it. Was not expecting the random dizziness and nausea after the fact. Is it because I was running? Geez.

* * *

Genesis trudged back into the girls' cabin, where the third intern put on their video, this one from Stormy~.

" _Konnichiwa!"_ Stormy~ greeted. "My challenge is really simple! Obviously, all of you are big fans of my music and know all the songs by heart, so your challenge is to sing one of my songs, karaoke style!"

Genesis, annoyed, handed the intern her final Free Pass. She left the cabin promptly.

A few minutes later, Warwick entered the cabin. He saw Stormy~'s video and his face paled.

"Shoot, she only sings in Japanese, doesn't she?" Warwick asked.

Without warning, one of Stormy~'s music videos flashed on the monitor's screen, with text scrolling by quickly at the bottom of the screen.

"Ahhhh!" Warwick panicked. "What is going on?!"

The song went by as Warwick just watched, dumbfounded.

"What on earth did I just witness?!" Warwick cried.

Amelie entered the cabin. The intern replayed the video for her.

"Oh, this should be easy," Amelie smiled.

"You'd think so, but-" Warwick started.

Warwick was interrupted by the video starting. Amelie began to sing along to the song, word-for-word, in perfect rhythm. Warwick looked at her in complete astonishment.

When the song ended, the intern nodded at her to indicate that she was good to go.

"Yay," Amelie smiled as she left the cabin.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Stormy~ had me listen to her music a lot during the merge. Looks like making friends really does pay off. _(She smiles.)_

 **Warwick:** I'm not even that good at talking English much! How am I supposed to sing such a fast song in a language I don't know at all?!

* * *

Lester watched Stormy~ play on a handheld game console back on Amelie's bleachers.

"This game is really easy," Stormy~ said. "I thought you said it was the hardest in the series."

"It... It is," Lester said perplexedly. "It took me months to get this far."

"Really?" Stormy~ asked. "It's only the third level."

"It's a hard game, okay?" Lester insisted.

"Not really," Stormy~ said innocently.

"...My girlfriend is better than I am at video games," Lester said. "As someone who plays video games for a living, I am shaken."

"Why are you narrating this?" Mondo asked.

"I also narrate things for a living," Lester said.

"Aw, Lester-Bear, it's okay," Stormy~ said. "You'll always be the best video game person in the world to me."

Stormy~ pulled Lester in for an amorous hug, which he returned.

"Gah, I just can't stay mad at you. You're too cute," Lester beamed.

"Awwww," Stormy~ blushed.

Mondo watched awkwardly as he scooted away from them and closer to Xingrong.

"So..." Mondo said. "You like sandwiches?"

"Pfft. I do not 'like' sandwiches," Xingrong scoffed. "My divine mission from the dark gods themselves is to grant unto thee mortals the knowledge of how to construct truly amazing sandwiches. I have dedicated many eons to perfecting the craft that I may bestow upon your pitiful species the knowledge which I have reaped."

"So... are burgers sandwiches?" Mondo asked.

"Do not waste my time with frivolous questions," Xingrong responded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Lester:** Man, what am I saying? A girl who's better than me at video games? If anything, that just makes her even hotter! Who needs to play Total Drama when I have Stormy~?

 **Mondo:** He totally doesn't know if burgers count as sandwiches or not.

 **Stormy~:** I hope I can keep talking to Lester after this is all over. The life of an ultra-famous and adorable pop star is a busy one.

 **Xingrong:** Nobody on this accursed island save Quentin seems to be remotely receptive to the dark gods' message. One disciple is better than none, but it is still a result with which I am most disappointed.

* * *

Amelie arrived at a spot in the forest where the next challenge was set to take place. She saw Genesis performing push-ups as well as three interns around a monitor. One of the monitors watched Genesis, and another replayed the video for Amelie. Tori appeared onscreen.

"Physical strength is important," Tori stated. "And it is important to keep your body healthy by exercising daily. My challenge is to perform thirty push-ups."

"Alright, seems simple enough," Amelie said as she got down onto the ground and began to do push-ups. One intern kept an eye on her in order to keep track of how many push-ups she had done.

"At least... I don't... weigh much..." Amelie said in between reps. "So I don't... have to push... that much weight..."

"That's thirty," Genesis's intern pointed out.

Genesis stood up, caught her breath, and nodded. She looked up at the sky for the next beacon before speed-walking towards it.

Amelie opted to pick up the pace of her push-ups. She found herself exhausting herself rather quickly, and collapsed.

"That doesn't restart my count, does it?" Amelie wheezed.

"No," her intern responded.

"Oh thank goodness," Amelie said with a sigh of relief.

"Continue whenever you're ready. Just don't forget you're in a race," the intern reminded her.

"Okay," Amelie nodded.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Maybe I should have exercised a bit in preparation for this challenge. I won't give up, though! I can do this!

* * *

Genesis arrived at the amphitheater, where the second intern played the next video. This one showcased Ursula.

"Heheheheh... I love nothing more than scaring people, truly," Ursula grinned sinisterly. "You're going to get some VR goggles. Make it through the scary experience without taking them off. If you take them off, you have to start aaaaaaaall over. Keheheheheheh!"

Genesis rolled her eyes as she took off her glasses and accepted the goggles from the intern. She put them on, and the video began. She immediately began cringing and gasping at what she saw.

Warwick jogged up to the scene. After the video replayed for him, he accepted some goggles of his own.

"Har! How scary could it really be?" Warwick laughed. The video began and he screamed like a banshee.

Genesis's video ended, and she took the goggles off. She glared at Warwick as she put her normal glasses back on, then handed the goggles to the intern, who gave her the go-ahead.

Just as Genesis left, Amelie arrived on-scene, and the intern replayed the video a third time.

"O-Oh," Amelie said as she took the third set of VR goggles from the intern. "Well... here goes nothing."

As Amelie put her goggles on, Warwick took his off.

"There! It is finished!" Warwick shouted. He forced the goggles into the intern's hand, and the intern gestured for Warwick to leave. "I will gladly leave!" Warwick insisted.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I wonder if they'd even be able to show the video in the episode itself. It got pretty graphic. Like, I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight, honestly.

 **Warwick:** I was really behind, and I knew I wasn't going to finish Tori's challenge any faster than Amelie or Genesis, so I used my last Free Pass on that one. I hope I don't come to regret this decision.

* * *

"Well, in order for me to not go home, Genesis wouldn't have sided with Fauna's alliance," Osric told Phoenix back on Genesis's bleachers. "Do you think you would have gone home earlier in that case?"

"Hm, it's possible," Phoenix pondered. "If your alliance kept up the majority, I could see it being a possibility, though I like to think you would have wanted to work with me regardless due to my smart people alliance."

"What are you two talking about?" Kelsey asked.

"How the game might have worked out differently if I hadn't been booted so early," Osric explained.

"Oh! I think about this all the time," Kelsey mentioned. "If I hadn't gotten injured, what would change? Who would have gone home in my place? How would me sticking around change team dynamics? Alliance dynamics?"

"It's interesting, right?" Phoenix asked.

"The simple question of 'what if?' can keep me occupied for hours," Kelsey smiled as she adjusted her glasses. "I've written entire essays on the premise of 'what if'."

"The idea that so much can change based on one simple difference is fascinating, no?" Phoenix agreed. "Imagine how things might have changed if two people ended up on the other team."

"I get the feeling we're going to have a lot to talk about," Osric grinned.

"The challenge is almost over. Shouldn't we pay attention to that?" Kelsey asked.

"What if we didn't?" Osric chuckled.

"I don't think the results of the challenge would change," Kelsey conceded with a smile. "Now, what if Dalit hadn't given Genesis her statue?"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Kelsey:** Wait, I was in the bottom two of the first vote. I probably would have gone home if Dalit had kept that statue. Not the most ideal alternate universe for me.

 **Osric:** Sure, we probably sound like completely obsessed fans talking about this stuff, but... well, I am kind of an obsessed fan. Can't speak for the other two, but I could honestly spend all day talking about Total Drama.

 **Phoenix:** Osric and I hung out a lot after I got voted off. Never spoke to Kelsey much, but I can see us being friends after the game. I have to say, it's nice not having to focus on strategy and just being able to relax.

* * *

Genesis and Warwick arrived at the boys' cabin at roughly the same time. The second intern played a video which featured Vardaman.

"Being a doctor ain't easy, but there are basic skills I think everyone should know," Vardaman said. "CPR is something anyone should be able to perform. Your challenge is to successfully resuscitate a CPR dummy." As soon as the video ended, a gif demonstrating how to perform CPR began to loop on the screen.

"My first kiss is going to be a doll. Splendid," Warwick griped.

Genesis and Warwick each approached a CPR dummy and, after studying the gif for a bit, attempted to perform CPR.

"Breathe, damn you!" Warwick ordered the dummy as he pushed at its torso.

Genesis side-eyed Warwick and smirked a bit before putting her mouth to the dummy's in order to breathe air into it.

Amelie arrived on the scene, and, after watching Vardaman's video, approached the third dummy tentatively.

"I actually took a course on CPR before in a mandatory assembly," Amelie mentioned. "Never thought I'd actually end up using it, but... here goes."

Amelie began performing CPR on the dummy, leaving all three finalists in the same position of trying to save a dummy's life. Amelie managed to dislodge the obstruction from her dummy first.

"I-I did it!" Amelie smiled as she showed the intern the piece of plastic that the dummy had coughed up.

The intern nodded, motioning for her to move on.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I can't fall behind now. There are only three challenges after Vardaman's, and any lead could make or break this challenge. I've maintained a good lead for most of the challenge, and I will take this one back.

* * *

Amelie arrived at the kitchen, where a lone intern and monitor stood. The intern played Xingrong's video.

"Kehehehehehe... Good evening, lowly worm," Xingrong grinned. "Though my divine mission was unfortunately put to an early halt by a certain man-child, I shall not be stopped from spreading the ultimate knowledge unto your pathetic kind! Thus, with this power bestowed unto me by Mr. McLean, I order you to construct a sandwich worthy of whomever shall judge your efforts! So say I, Xingrong the Unholy Angel!"

"Sounds easy enough," Amelie said as she glanced at the spread of sandwich ingredients laid out onto the countertops. "Let's see... might as well grab some bread..." She approached the bread area. "Oh, I didn't realize there were so many kinds. That's... going to make things harder."

Amelie tentatively took some pieces of white bread before instantly putting them back. She then grabbed a couple pieces of whole wheat bread before putting them back and grabbing white bread again.

"Maybe I should pick the meat first," Amelie decided before going over to where the meats were laid out. She paled as she saw that there were even more options for meat than for bread.

"Do I even need to watch the video explaining what to do here?" Warwick scoffed as he entered the kitchen.

"Yes, actually," the intern answered. "It's the rule."

"Of course it is," Warwick said as the intern switched the video on.

Amelie, in a panic, grabbed white bread and roast beef. She also grabbed slices of cheddar cheese as well as mustard and constructed a sandwich using those ingredients. She handed her finished creation to the intern. The intern took a bite, chewed, swallowed, and then shook his head.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Alright, so I panicked with that sandwich. I didn't want Warwick catching up to me. Alright, just focus, Amelie. You can still do this.

 **Warwick:** This one should be simple. Julianne, my maid, makes excellent sandwiches. I'll just think to myself... WWJD?

* * *

"Heh, I totally got them good," Ursula chuckled from Warwick's bleachers.

"Is that why they all completed your challenge on their first try?" Zarardo commented.

"With significant mental scars!" Ursula insisted.

"Well, my challenge should be fairly difficult," Zarardo boasted.

"It's not a competition," Ursula huffed.

"Not for us, anyway," Vardaman chimed in with a chuckle.

"It can't be any harder than my challenge," Yolonda added.

"Oh?" Zarardo asked. "Do tell."

"It's coming up soon. Be patient," Yolonda said.

"Challenge is almost over," Vardaman pointed out. "Think Warwick's got this?"

"It's been fairly close for most of the race," Zarardo pondered. "I think it could be anyone."

"Amelie still has a Free Pass. Genesis and Warwick used all of theirs," Yolonda pointed out. "And with three challenges left for her, that could mean a lot."

"It depends on when she uses it," Zarardo said. "Like I said, my challenge could be the game-changer."

"Tch. Whatever, dude," Ursula smirked.

"I'm just looking forward to leaving this godforsaken island," Yolonda said.

"You've made this abundantly clear in the past," Zarardo pointed out.

"Because it's still true," Yolonda scowled.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Ursula:** It's been a while since the game started. Going home is going to feel kind of weird, actually. I'm definitely going to miss my friends, but eh, that's what social media is for, right?

 **Vardaman:** Honestly, I'd be fine with any of those three winning in the long run. I'm still kind of hurt at Amelie and Genesis stabbing me in the back, but that'll wear off soon. I think they'd be deserving winners, just like Warwick.

 **Yolonda:** I have nothing more to say. Please don't call me in for any more confessionals.

 **Zarardo:** It's a shame I won't be winning. Tips on the street aren't exactly a reliable aid towards my college fund. But I suppose there's always future seasons. You know how Total Drama is with bringing players back. _(He grins confidently.)_

* * *

"Let's see, this is definitely the bread she uses..." Warwick said to himself as he grabbed two slices of bread. He went over to the cheese and began sniffing each different kind. "Yes! That's the one!" he determined as he grabbed two slices.

Amelie watched nervously as Warwick quickly procured ingredients for his sandwich.

Genesis arrived on the scene. After she watched Xingrong's instructional video, she went over to the ingredients and began constructing her sandwich.

Amelie quietly handed the intern her last Free Pass before leaving the kitchen.

"I am finished!" Warwick declared as he handed the intern a sandwich.

The intern took a bite, chewed, and his eyes lit up. With a grin, he gave Warwick an approving nod, and the chubby boy took off.

Genesis began to panic and grabbed ingredients at random. She compiled them together into a sandwich and handed the result to the intern.

The intern took a bite, chewed for a bit, swallowed, and, after thinking about it, gave Genesis a nod.

Genesis wore an unprepared look of pleasant surprise on her face before leaving the kitchen.

"Not as good as Warwick's, but then what could be?" the intern said to himself after Genesis left. He picked Warwick's sandwich back up. "Now... where were we?"

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ Not going to lie, it's kind of funny that I passed that challenge without even really trying when Amelie had to use her Free Pass after trying and failing. Maybe that luck can continue my way? _(She smiles.)_

* * *

The three finalists arrived at the Dock of Shame, where the Elevator of Losers was present and its doors were open.

"Do you suppose we have to enter the elevator for our next challenge?" Warwick asked.

Genesis entered the Elevator. The doors immediately closed and the Elevator returned underwater. After a minute or so of waiting, the doors opened again, and Genesis found herself in the Coal Mine of Failure. Sure enough, an intern was present with a monitor. As the Elevator went back up to the surface, the intern played Yolonda's video.

"You'll never truly know what it was like," Yolonda grimaced. "When we were voted off, it wasn't some nice resort where the sun is always shining and the towels are oh-so-fluffy. No, we had to mine for coal! To keep the island's power running! You might not have known the stakes of loss, but now you're going to experience them for yourselves. You'll be provided with a bucket and a pickaxe. Fill the bucket with coal."

The intern handed Genesis the aforementioned tools just as the Elevator came back down with Warwick in it. As Genesis entered the mine shaft, the intern replayed the video for Warwick.

"A coal mine, eh?" Warwick asked. "I suppose I should count myself lucky that I never got voted off. For more reasons than just the obvious."

The intern handed Warwick his tools as the Elevator arrived with Amelie in it. The intern played the video yet a third time.

"Coal mining?!" Amelie gasped. "Is that safe? ...Well, I guess it'll have to be." She took a deep breath. "Let's do this."

The three finalists all spread out to different parts of the mineshaft and mined coal. There wasn't much left of the vein, so progress was slow.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Warwick:** Makes you think. I almost went home the night Yolonda left. I was _this_ close to ending up like she did. Count your blessings... or something, I don't know. I'm not good at sentiment.

 **Amelie:** I think Stormy~ said something about this before... I guess it's only fair that the finalists have a taste of what it was like. I feel bad for the others who had to do this every day, but I can't focus on that right now! I have a game to win!

* * *

Chris and Lindsay sat on comfy rolling office chairs in the staff lounge, watching the live camera feeds with a cold beer or soda respectively in their hands.

"It's pretty close," Chris noted. "That's good. Fans don't like it when finales are too one-sided."

"Who do you want to win?" Lindsay asked.

"Hosts aren't supposed to show bias. It's tacky," Chris said. "The host of that one show... you know, the one that ripped us off, he's biased as hell. People give him crap for it every day. I'm not about that."

"That's fair," Lindsay nodded. "I actually wouldn't mind if any of them won. I think they'd all be pretty inspiring picks."

"Whatever you say," Chris said as he took a sip of beer. "What I'm _not_ looking forward to is the post-game meeting."

"Meeting?" Lindsay asked.

"Yeah, we get to meet with the execs to discuss whether or not I get to keep hosting and whether or not you get to keep co-hosting," Chris grumbled.

"...Oh," Lindsay said.

"Relax. You're probably good," Chris assured her. "You're not the one who put the contestants in constant danger. I'm the one who needs to worry."

"If you say so..." Lindsay said. "Aw, but now I'm worried about _you_!"

Chris smirked. "You're too good for this show, Lindsay."

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Lindsay:** Aw, well now I'm worried about me or Chris maybe losing our jobs! Maybe when someone wins it'll perk me back up. I hope so...

* * *

After finishing their coal-mining back-to-back, the final three made it to the beach, where their final challenge awaited. The final intern played Zarardo's video.

"And now, to determine who wins and who loses," Zarardo grinned sinisterly. "I'm going to need a volunteer. Someone who can perform the trick I could not. Using a bow and arrow, I want you to hit the bullseye of an archery target. Do that, and you will be allowed to complete the challenge."

"Hit a bullseye?" Amelie asked.

"With a bow and arrow?" Warwick asked.

Genesis cracked her knuckles.

The three contestants each grabbed a bow and arrow set and stood the requisite distance away from the archery targets set up in the sand. They took aim and fired simultaneously. Amelie came up short, Genesis hit the target, but not the bullseye, and Warwick's arrow flew over the target.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** This is it.

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ The final challenge.

 **Warwick:** It's do or die!

* * *

The finalists took aim and fired again. Each of them hit their targets, but none landed in the bullseye.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** I've made it this far.

 **Genesis:** _(The phone speaks.)_ And I won't lose now.

 **Warwick:** Not after everything I've done to make it here!

* * *

The finalists fired their arrows once again. They all made it closer to the bullseye but did not hit the sweet spot.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Best of luck to my competition.

 **Genesis:** _(The phone speaks.)_ But I've got a challenge to win.

 **Warwick:** And I'm not giving up now!

* * *

The finalists fired their arrows. One of them hit the bullseye. Two. All three! The contestants looked at each other dumbfounded before they all made a mad dash towards the campground.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Amelie:** Whoever touches the totem pole after passing all twenty-three challenges wins the whole game.

 **Genesis:** _(The phone speaks.)_ I wasn't expecting all of us to hit at the same time. But I think I can make it first.

 **Warwick:** This is the moment I've been waiting for! Let's do this!

* * *

"Hey, here they come!" Ephraim said excitedly.

"All of them?" Naomi asked.

"Looks like it," Isidora said with a hint of surprise.

The three contestants all made a mad dash towards the totem pole, each with a determined look in their eyes.

"This is it!" Chris announced as he and Lindsay arrived on the scene.

"I can't look!" Cordelia cried as she covered her eyes.

"I can. Go, Warwick!" Ursula cheered.

"You've got this, Genesis!" Kelsey called.

"Fulfill your destiny, Amelie!" Xingrong commanded.

The three teenagers all sprinted towards the totem pole, and they each touched it, one right after the other.

"And that's it! We have our final placements!" Chris announced excitedly. "In first place, the winner of Total Drama Alpha Party..."

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"Genesis!" Chris called.

Genesis's eyes went wide as she caught her breath.

"Woooooooooooo!" Naomi cheered as she stood up.

"Yeah! That's what I'm talking about!" Fauna grinned as she stood up.

Jasper, Kelsey, Osric, and Phoenix all clapped.

"Second to touch the totem pole, Amelie takes second place," Chris continued. "This means that Warwick is our third place finisher for the season."

"I'll... I'll take it," Amelie panted with a slight smile.

"Out of twenty-six, I shan't complain," Warwick added.

Genesis took her phone back from Naomi and began typing.

"I can't believe this," Genesis texted with a huge grin on her face. "I couldn't have made it this far without you guys. Oh man. Idk what to say right now. I'm flabbergasted."

"You'll have time to think of something," Chris said. "The yacht back to the mainland won't be here for another couple hours, so you guys have time to mingle before it's time to go home."

"I thought the yacht was already..." Lindsay started before she noticed the look Chris gave her. "Ohhhhhhhhhh, I get it," Lindsay said as she winked at Chris.

* * *

 **Confessional:**

 **Genesis:** _(She types into her phone. The phone speaks.)_ I'll admit, I was hoping for a little more fanfare than just Fauna and Naomi plus a little bit of applause. I guess I did lie and backstab a lot like I told myself I'd do going in. Still, I'm proud of the game I played, even if the others aren't. I am Genesis Morales, the girl who won Total Drama in spite of a disability. No one can take that away from me.

 **Amelie:** I'm proud of Genesis. Obviously, I wish I won, but second place isn't bad at all. I expected to be the second _boot_ , not second _place_. So I did a lot better than I thought I would when I first set foot on the island. I'm incredibly grateful for the chance to play the game, win or lose. _(She beams.)_

 **Warwick:** Gahhhhhhhh! So close, and yet too far! ...Eh, someone had to take third place, I guess. Besides, now that I no longer aspire to a position of royalty, I don't really need the prize money anyhow. The glory would be nice, but there are other ways to earn respect than by winning a contest. And I shall dedicate my time from now on to pursuing those ways!

* * *

In the mess hall, Osric and Ursula served a fancy steak dinner to Genesis, who had sat down at one of the tables.

"Congratulations," Osric smiled.

"You earned this," Ursula nodded.

"Glad to see we can still be friends," Genesis texted with a smile. "I'd never admit it during the game, but I honestly really regret backstabbing Osric, for a number of reasons."

"Water under the bridge," Osric told her.

"Besides, you won," Ursula said. "If you hadn't then the blindside would have been for nothing, and you would not be getting a steak dinner."

Genesis and Osric chuckled in response.

"What?" Ursula asked obliviously.

"She's making progress, I promise," Osric whispered to Genesis, who nodded in understanding.

"Genesis," Phoenix addressed as he entered the mess hall. "Congratulations."

"Thanks," Genesis texted.

"I told everyone you were a threat to win," Phoenix smiled. "Looks like you proved me right."

"You were a worthy rival," Genesis texted.

"If only we could have worked together," Phoenix said as he adjusted his glasses.

"We were until you decided you wanted me gone," Genesis texted with a smirk.

"Well, there's always a potential future season," Phoenix said.

"Same goes for me," Osric agreed.

"I'll consider it," Ursula added.

"I'd definitely like to remain friends with all of you after all this," Phoenix said.

"Same," Genesis texted with a smile.

"Say, that reminds me, where's Naomi?" Ursula wondered.

"I bet I know what she's up to," Osric giggled pervertedly.

The others gave him a look.

"That is NOT what I was thinking about!" Osric insisted. "...Okay, maybe a little, but I don't think that's what she's doing right now."

"I'll catch up with her later," Genesis texted. "For now, I have some steak to dig into."

* * *

Amelie, Mondo, and Stormy~ sat on the edge of the Dock of Shame.

"It's a shame I didn't win, but you know what?" Amelie smiled. "I'm satisfied with everything despite that."

"I'm glad to hear it," Mondo smiled. "You did a good job making it as far as you did."

"Yeah!" Stormy~ agreed. "I bet you'll almost have half as many fans as I do."

"Here's hoping," Amelie giggled. "Actually, it'd be cool if I came home and found out people liked me in this season. Total Drama fans can be kind of scary when it comes to their opinions, but maybe they'll be civil about me? I hope?"

"You might be asking too much, but it's a nice thought," Mondo said. "Either way, you've been recorded in the annals of Total Drama history. Finalists aren't easily forgotten. I think people will remember you as 'the girl who overcame her fears and made it to the end' for a while."

"I definitely won't forget all this," Amelie smiled. "So, what are you guys going to do now that all this is over?"

"Back to my normal life, I suppose," Mondo said. "Hope that people jeer at me a little less. Hope I proved myself out here."

"I'm sure you did," Amelie smiled.

"Back to the life of a busy pop star for me," Stormy~ said. "Oh, but you can bet I'll write a song about my experiences out here. And you'll definitely be name-dropped."

"Aww," Amelie blushed. "I'm sure it'll become a #1 hit."

"I could use one of those," Stormy~ admitted. "Er, one _more_ of those. That's what I said. Maybe it'll even cross over to Canada!"

"Who knows?" Amelie responded. "If I can get second place in a game like this, then I think anyone can do anything they can set their mind to."

"There's a nice thought," Mondo smiled.

"I like it," Stormy~ smiled.

The three stared off at the full moon which hung in the sky above them, and smiled.

* * *

Warwick, Isidora, and Zarardo all retreated to the top of the thousand-foot cliff.

"You made a valiant effort, sire," Zarardo told Warwick.

"I am no one's sire anymore," Warwick reminded him. "I'm through with playing pretend."

"Force of habit. My apologies," Zarardo said. "Still, no hard feelings about anything that went on in the game?"

"I don't want to leave this game with any negative feelings," Warwick said. "My goal in life is to become mature and respectable. No reason to hold onto hard feelings over anything that happened in the past."

"Does that mean you truly do want to still be friends?" Isidora asked.

"You know it," Warwick grinned. "Oh! I finished the book you lent me. Didn't take long, obviously. I still need to give that back."

"Keep it," Isidora said. "I'm never going to reread it, and it'll be something to remember me by."

"I doubt I'd ever forget you even without that book, Isidora," Warwick smiled.

"I doubt any of us will forget our time on this island," Zarardo said. "Truly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity."

"Lindsay played four times," Isidora pointed out.

"Not the point," Zarardo leered.

"Please, no bickering," Warwick said as he held his hand up. "I want my final memories of this island to be positive."

"Upset that you didn't win?" Zarardo asked.

"More than I wish I was," Warwick admitted. "It will heal with time, I imagine. For now, I'd just like to enjoy the rest of our time here with my friends."

"I'd like that, too," Isidora smiled.

"Agreed," Zarardo nodded.

* * *

Bijou, Dalit, and Ephraim all met up in the girls' cabin.

"You know, I'm really proud of Amelie," Ephraim smiled. "She's come a long way from when she asked me to protect her throughout the first challenge."

"Enough about Amelie. We need to talk about where I'm going to go," Dalit pouted.

"I think Ephraim and I agreed that living with me would be easier for everyone involved," Bijou said.

"Yes," Ephraim nodded. "My family isn't the wealthiest, hence why I took up the bouncer job at the nightclub. Supporting someone else won't be easy for my parents, and I'm not too sure they'll be all that keen about us living together anyway, what with our relationship."

"I see," Dalit said. "Bijou has been a good friend to me, so I'm okay with living with her. But you'd better visit often, Ephraim. Got it?!"

"I'll visit when I can," Ephraim told her honestly.

"Don't be a stranger," Bijou said. "And hey, maybe when you're over, I can teach you a thing or two about how to wear your hair properly."

"What's wrong with my hair?" Ephraim asked as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Please, darling, frosted tips are so 2001," Bijou said with a condescending shake of her head. "I do like the silver, though. I can work with that."

"Hands off my man," Dalit huffed.

"Relax, Dalit, nothing's going to happen with me and Bijou," Ephraim assured her.

"I'd only give him a makeover the same way I did with you," Bijou explained.

"Okay," Dalit said calmly. "...Sorry for overreacting."

"It's alright," Ephraim assured her with a smile. "Knowing when you're overreacting is already incredible progress."

Dalit gave Ephraim a surprise peck on the lips.

* * *

Fauna found Yolonda leaning against the railings of the yacht.

"Yo, the boat's not leaving for hours," Fauna pointed out.

"I know," Yolonda replied simply.

"Look, there's no reason to be upset anymore," Fauna said.

"Why, because a woman of color won?" Yolonda asked facetiously.

"No," Fauna responded. "Well, yes, but there's more to it than that. You got eliminated a long-ass time ago. You had all the time in the world to not focus on the negatives, and yet you chose to anyway. That's on you."

"Oh, coming from Miss Everything Is A Microaggression, that's rich," Yolonda scoffed. "Need you forget I have claustrophobia AND got robbed of a chance to bail my uncle out of prison?"

"Yeah, that sucks. You know what else sucks?" Fauna asked. "Dalit got robbed of a chance to leave her actual literal slave owner. And you know what she did? She didn't spend her time underground bitching about it, she spent her time making friends and focusing on the positives, and now look, Bijou's going to do her a solid and save her ass."

"Oh, and I suppose you did a lot of positive reflection after you quit?" Yolonda asked.

"Racial tensions are still high and the white man still has all the power over the people of color. That hasn't changed," Fauna said. "But you know what? Getting mad ain't going to fix that. Don't get me wrong, it's definitely something worth getting mad about. But... shit, there's good in this world, too! I realized that after I quit the game. I missed it. I took that shit for granted. I didn't realize how much fun I was having until I left the game. I ain't doing that anymore. I'm going to start standing back and trying to focus on the positives every once in a while. You should, too. Could do us both some favors."

Yolonda took a deep breath. "I'll try. I guess... I don't know... at least we were able to get rid of Xingrong early. At least there was no way he could have won."

"Yes, at least we ruined a POC's chances of winning, great start," Fauna said sarcastically.

"Hey, you and I have different definitions of positive," Yolonda pointed out.

"At least Isidora didn't win," Fauna pointed out.

"Now there's something we can agree on," Yolonda smirked.

* * *

Cordelia, Hugh, and Jasper met up behind the washrooms.

"Why did you bring me here...?" Cordelia asked.

"I don't know, you two are like the only real friends I had besides maybe Ursula, and she's with Osric," Jasper shrugged.

"You backstabbed me..." Cordelia said with vacuous eyes.

"Also your LGBT politics are ridiculous," Hugh pointed out.

"That, too," Cordelia agreed.

"Oh, come on, that again?" Jasper asked. "It worked, didn't it? At least until Amelie outed me."

"All I know is that you kind of disgust me," Hugh said.

"Because you're totally not sexist at all," Jasper scoffed. "You with your 'I'm going to be an ass to women to get them to fall for me'."

"You're both awful," Cordelia grimaced. "I'm going away."

As Cordelia left, Hugh glanced as Jasper.

"We can agree she's kind of obnoxious, right?" Hugh asked.

"Yeah," Jasper nodded. "Pretty attractive though."

"Yeah..." Hugh agreed. "It's weird to see you talking about attractive women."

"Oh, dude, I could go on," Jasper grinned.

"You still disgust me," Hugh pointed out. "But I can talk about hot chicks for days with anyone."

"Hell yeah," Jasper grinned. "Want to play 'fuck, marry, kill' on the girls this season?"

Hugh wore a solemn look on his face.

"...You have no idea how long I've wanted to," Hugh said.

"Alright. Cordelia, Fauna, Naomi. Go," Jasper grinned.

* * *

Lester, Quentin, Tori, and Xingrong hung out in the boys' cabin.

"The last time the bros are going to be together for a while," Lester pointed out. "We should take full advantage of it."

"What about Stormy~?" Quentin asked.

"She's with Amelie. I'd say Amelie deserves to spend time with her more than I do, being a finalist and all." Lester decided. "I dunno, it made sense in my head."

"Am I amongst the 'bros'?" Tori inquired.

"Any of our girls are welcome to join," Lester confirmed. "Speaking of, Xingrong, my man, we've got to get you talking to Yolonda."

"I only answered that survey question at all because I was forced to," Xingrong insisted. "I am an unholy angel of Wichmastery, not some philanderer who goes on merry sprees of debauchery."

"Does that honestly sound _worse_ than making sandwiches all day?" Lester asked.

"Who needs debauchery when you have loving monogamy?" Quentin asked.

"I couldn't agree more," Tori smiled as she embraced her boyfriend.

"There you are," Kelsey said as she entered the cabin. "Quentin, Tori. Has either of you seen Vardaman? I wish to speak with him about my leg's recovery."

"You can talk to him later. Come, have a seat," Lester invited. "Xingrong's got some space next to him on that bunk."

"I'm not dating Xingrong. Ever," Kelsey said.

"You want to hang out anyway?" Quentin offered. "It'll be the last time we see each other in person, at least for a while."

"I suppose so," Kelsey admitted. "What activities do you have planned?"

"I dunno. Video games or something?" Lester shrugged as he took his handheld gaming system out of his pocket.

"That's unacceptable," Kelsey huffed. "How can you expect to have fun if you have no idea what you're doing?"

"This is a waste of time," Xingrong decided. "I shall be in the kitchen preparing sandwiches using real ingredients." He got up from his bunk and left.

"I really should talk to Vardaman," Kelsey said as she went to the door.

"Let's come with," Quentin suggested to Tori.

"Sounds good to me," Tori nodded as the two followed Kelsey.

"...I guess I'll go see what Stormy~'s up to," Lester decided as he left the scene.

* * *

Naomi and Vardaman sat on the part of the beach which hid behind the forest.

"Nice job finding a spot where we could be alone," Naomi blushed.

"I figured some time alone would be nice," Vardaman blushed. "You said you wanted to get to talk to me more in that survey, so I figured 'why not?'"

"I haven't been getting injured as much," Naomi told him. "Not as many slopes in the coal mine. I may have bumped my head once or twice... or twelve times... but it's nothing serious."

"That's good to hear," Vardaman said.

Naomi rested her head on Vardaman's shoulder. "The ocean's pretty at night, isn't it?"

"Sure is," Vardaman agreed.

The two stared off into the horizon.

"...I missed you," Naomi said.

"I missed you too," Vardaman smiled. "You were my best patient, after all."

"Awww, there's no way that's true," Naomi blushed. "Surely you had better patients than me."

"Nope. Not a one," Vardaman told her as he put her arm around her.

The two turned their heads and looked into each other's eyes. The silently shared a tender kiss under the moonlight.

"Attention, campers!" Chris announced. "The yacht headed for the mainland will be departing soon! Make your way to the Dock of Shame asap, or else we're going to leave without you!"

"Guess we'd better go," Vardaman decided as he stood up.

"Hey. So. Um..." Naomi started. "I really really really really really really like you. Hope you... do you want me? Do you want me too?"

Vardaman smiled. "I thought you'd never ask," he said with a blush. "Of course I do."

Naomi fainted in the sand.

"Oh, er, that ain't good," Vardaman commented. "Well, it's good that she's so excited, but... I'd better get her to the yacht.

Vardaman picked up Naomi and carried her off.

* * *

The twenty-six contestants all boarded the yacht, and the boat set sail towards the mainland. Ronoc stood on the bow deck, leaning over the railings and smoking his cigar.

"Welp, we did it," Ronoc said as he looked up at the sky. "Only took two years, to the month, but hey, life happens, plus other stories, plus writer's block. Thank goodness you picked up that 'no zero days' policy or I might not be saying this until next year."

Ronoc chuckled as he took another puff of his cigar.

"Still, I'm glad we saw it through to the end. People really seemed to like this one," Ronoc continued. "Genesis might not have been the popular choice to win, but I don't think that's going to ruin the story for anyone. I hope not at least. Heh."

Ronoc took another puff of his cigar.

"You're not the sentimental type. Why write this scene?" Ronoc questioned. "Eh, you're the author, not me. It's not my place to ask. I doubt you could really explain it all that well yourself. Hehe."

Ronoc took a long puff on his cigar.

"Well, nowhere to go here but forward," Ronoc said as he discarded his cigar butt into the aether. "Time for the next one."

* * *

Chris and Lindsay sat in a meeting room with three executives: two men and one woman.

"I trust you understand why you're here?" the older man asked.

"We do," Chris nodded. "So what's the dealio, Lynch? We still good?"

"Do not address Mr. Lynch so flippantly," the younger man scolded.

"Peace, Nelson," Mr. Lynch said. "You may be glad to find out, Mr. McLean, that your growth has proven satisfactory, and that we are confident in your abilities to host another season without causing too much harm."

"That's great!" Lindsay cheered.

"You might not want to get too excited, Ms. Blaising," the woman said.

"What? Why not?" Lindsay asked unsurely.

"What Ms. Vex means..." Mr. Lynch said. "Is that Ms. Blaising will no longer be accompanying Mr. McLean in his endeavors on Total Drama."

"Why not?" Lindsay asked as she began to tear up.

"Yeah, what's the big deal?" Chris scowled.

"The guidelines we set were very clear, McLean," Mr. Nelson glowered.

"Lindsay was instructed not to activate your shock collar too frequently nor too seldom," Ms. Vex explained.

"Unfortunately, the three of us have unanimously agreed that Ms. Blaising's activity with the shock collar did not meet our conditions," Mr. Lynch elaborated. "We found that she was too eager to punish Mr. McLean. While the end results regarding his behavior suit our desired outcome, the ends do not justify the means. We fear that he may lose his wit on top of his penchant for violence, which would not make for a very entertaining host."

"That's why we agreed to let him host a season on his own," Ms. Vex continued.

"That's bullcrap," Chris objected.

"You weren't exactly singing her praises when the shock collar was still on," Mr. Nelson pointed out.

"Peace, Nelson," Mr. Lynch said.

"I'm not going to have a shock collar this season, right?" Chris asked. "Why not let Lindsay come? What harm is she going to do?"

"Chris..." Lindsay said under her breath.

"We are not made of money, I'm afraid," Ms. Vex explained. "In fact, our next season will take place in an archipelago, with no lodging except for the staff. We can't afford to let Ms. Blaising accompany you due simply to costs. Lodging, food, not to mention salary. We agree that cutting Ms. Blaising from the staff can only benefit us."

"Yeah, well I don't," Chris objected. "She was a fine co-host."

"She did nothing as a co-host," Mr. Nelson pointed out.

Lindsay fought back tears.

"If Lindsay's not doing it, then neither am I," Chris said as he folded his arms.

"Think about what you're saying, Mr. McLean," Mr. Lynch said. "After how much you've worked this season in order to ensure that you stick around. After how much fun you've had hosting this season and seasons prior. You don't want to leave it all behind, do you?"

"It's okay, Chris," Lindsay finally said with a snivel.

"Huh?" Chris asked.

"I know you can do a great job without me," Lindsay said as she gave him a slight smile. "Getting fired stinks, but I don't want you to quit just for my sake. You love this show. Don't give all that up."

"Are you sure?" Chris asked.

"I'm sure," Lindsay nodded with another snivel. "I'll be sure to keep on watching Total Drama! Don't you worry!"

Chris turned back towards the executives.

"I'll do it," Chris told them.

"You won't regret this, Mr. McLean," Ms. Vex smiled.

"Glad to have you back, Chris," Mr. Lynch smiled.

"Don't mess it up," Mr. Nelson warned.

"I'll do my best," Chris smirked.

* * *

 **THE END**

* * *

 _A/N: As always, it's time to take this time to talk about the finalists, starting with the winner and ending with the second runner-up._

 _The Winner: Genesis_

 _I knew going in that I wanted a winner as different from House Party's as possible. While David relied on his physical and social games to make it by, Genesis relied on her brainpower and her image to make it far, and while she hit some bumps in the road, it ultimately paid off in the end. Villain winners are tricky, however, so I added some facets to Genesis to make her a bit more sympathetic, like her disability and the fact that she genuinely cared for her friends. She was still smug and arrogant, but she showed that she was able to back it up by making big moves and being the driving force behind several key eliminations. I think Genesis played one of if not the best game of the story, and I believe she's a worthy winner._

 _First Runner-Up: Amelie_

 _A classic development story, Amelie was always slated to go far, but not to win. After many complained about Bailey overcoming her shyness offscreen in House Party, I wanted to give it another proper try. I do feel like Amelie differed from Bailey in more than just that, though, more neurotic and generally scared than simply timid, and it showed all throughout the story, even at some points near the end, she never really lost what made her Amelie in the first place. The reasons I had her take second place were 1) I wanted an all-female final two after House Party's all-male final two, 2) I felt like she deserved some sort of reward for her development, so I let her take a placement above Warwick, and 3) for reasons I'll highlight in Warwick's writeup. I think Amelie was a force this season needed, and I enjoyed writing her._

 _Second Runner-Up: Warwick_

 _Lmao Warwick. I'll admit, Warwick's development was a last-second addition. I had actually planned on keeping him a joke character from beginning to end, but after some complaints that he had been getting stale (complaints which I agreed with, frankly), I began to expand on his character, and I think it worked for the better, as a lot of people told me how much they grew to love Warwick over the merge. I think he might be the start-to-finish character I enjoyed writing the most this season. So why give him the bottom finale spot? Well, besides what I mentioned in Amelie's writeup, 1) his development started much later than Amelie's, and I wanted to highlight that he still has a lot of growing to do, and 2) one trend I've noticed in TD fics is that, in finales which have more than two contestants, it's always the most random pick who ends up winning. I won't name specific fics to avoid spoilers, but those who read TD fics avidly know what I'm talking about. I wanted to subvert that with Warwick, to let people think "Hey, he's in the finale over, say, Isidora, but why? Well, he must be winning!", only to play with expectations. No idea if it worked or not, but all in all, I quite liked Warwick._

 _So what's next? Well, Chris has his own season to host, and Topher might be planning something off on the side as well. Time will tell what happens, but I have plans for days when it comes to TD fics, and I hope you guys look forward to seeing them play out as much as I am. Until then, have a great day/night/afternoon/whatever!_


End file.
